Unexpected
by glittergirl20
Summary: "Do you want to know where the real hell is hiding Finnick?" He doesn't respond maybe he doesn't know how. "It's inside your head." Annie and Finnick's love story the unexpected romance. Will go up to mockingjay all in Annie's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! I have been thinking about doing an Annie story ever since Chapter 100 in Finnick's Story (The year she first mentored.) With that being said I feel I should mention that Annie's story will not be related to Finnick's Story or Crazed (Which is basically the same story expect it give Dylan's background his experience in the mental hospital and his relationship with Tori. Annie will also be in the later chapters a lot because of the bond they have because the are both "crazy". I will stop selling you on this now lol) So this story is in a different universe (I guess that is the best way to describe it) from my other stories. It will have different arenas, different victors, and Finnick and Annie's relationship will be very different. (They will still fall in love and stuff. It can still be classified as a Finnie (This is the ship name me and my friends use cause they both have the double n thing going for them and it is hella cute) or the official one Odesta story. Most of you probably haven't read my other stories so you probably don't care but I thought I would mention it to the people who are reading my other stories.**

** Also I don't know how the updating will work for this one. I usually do a rotation for my stories because both of the ones I am working on aren't finished but I know how they will end. I usually figure out the ending before I start because I don't abandon stories. I hate when that happens and I update usually once a week (this one might be once every two weeks, I am on spring break right so it may be different) my stories are on the long side (as you can see from Finnick's Story 131 chapters and still no Katniss. I don't think I use lots of fillers but, I am bias.). So if I don't update in a while don't worry it will not be abandoned. Anyways on to the story!**

**Chapter One**.

I can feel the soft sea breeze against my skin. It smells like salt and sunlight. It always does in District 4 the home of fishing. Apparently before Panem this place was know as New England and fishing was important then as well. I guess things don't always change.

Usually I would love a nice calm day like this. The sun is shining, the water is nice and calm it is perfect. But today isn't a perfect day because it is the reaping for the 70th Hunger Games.

I'm seventeen so my name is in there more than some but I never had to take any tessare most people here don't. After all it is like that in all of the career Districts but 4 is different from 1 and 2. District 4 is mainly a career District because we have a great deal of money and we actually have people that volunteer. Most of the other Districts can't say that. Never the less we are seen as ruthless killers probably because in the arena we always have an alliance with 1 and 2.

"Annie!"

I turn around and see my friend Lana. She is wearing a soft pink dress and her sandy blonde hair is up in a perfect bun. The dress compliments her sun kissed skin.

"You ready for this Annie." She smiles.

"No." I shake my head.

"Well if your name does get called at least you will get to meet the great Finnick Odair." She teases

"Ah yes Finnick Odair." I say with disgust.

Lana and I both don't like him. We have never met him but all of District 4 and Panem know what he is like. Cocky, rude, arrogant, and a killer. He won the 65th Hunger Games when he was fourteen, he is the youngest victor ever. He uses this to his advantage so he can get all of the girls he wants. He never really needed it, girls were already dropping at his feet because of his good looks. He goes to the Capitol a lot and every time he goes he has a lady by his side or more than one lady in a visit.

That isn't why I hate him though. I hate him because he doesn't seem to care about his family at all. His parents died in a strange accident when he was seventeen. He didn't even bat an eyelash because the next day he went to the Capitol. He wasn't there for their funeral and he left his younger brother and sister by themselves. His brother was fifteen but his sister was only eleven. He shouldn't have left them alone but, he wanted to be with all of those admirers instead.

"The sad part about that is some people would probably love that." I say

"I'm sure he would find us fascinating. I don't think anyone has ever turned him down." Lana smiles

"He doesn't seem to care for the women here anyways."

"Just the Capitol freaks." she smiles

"We should probably get going don't want to be late."

"This is true." I don't want to know what would happen if you skipped the reaping. The peacekeepers here are not very threatening but I'm sure on this day they would have to follow orders.

I get checked in and Lana and I head to the seventeen section.

There are four chairs on the stage three for the victors and one for the mayor.

"Welcome everyone to the 70th Hunger Games!" Aries our escort beams

Aries is probably around thirty. He always has a whimsical outfit and strange hair and makeup to match.

This year his hair is a dark evergreen color and so are his eyes. He has tanned skin that looks fake. He is wearing a short sleeved v neck shirt that is black and embroidered with something green that look like real gemstones, he has strange blueish pants that also have the gem stones. He also has raven black tattoos on his chest that is the symbol of his name. Which is the symbol of the ram. What a stupid name.

"Before we get started let's introduce our victors."

First is an elderly woman named Mags. I think she won one of the earlier Hunger Games.

The second is Luna. She won the 60th Hunger Games. She has reddish brown hair and looks pale. She also has a scar on her face that starts at her her forehead and goes diagonally down to jaw line. She got that in the final fight of her Hunger Games. The boy from two did a number on her face but she was victorious and has the scar to prove it.

Last is Finnick Odair he smiles and waves at the camera. His sea green eyes and tan skin gleam in the sunlight and his perfect bronze locks blow in the wind.

He is so narcissistic. Probably the only thing he loves more than his admires is his reflection.

"Now let's get started shall we?" Aries says.

Aries shows a film that explains why we do this it's because people were fed up with being controlled so they fought for what they felt was right but, they lost so now every year 24 children from the ages of 12 trough 18 must be chosen to fight in the death in the Hunger Games.

"Now the real fun can begin as always ladies first." He smiles

He goes over to the glass bowl and reaches his hand in. He picks the first slip that touches his hand and goes back to the microphone.

I grab Lana's wrist and hold my breath.

"The female tribute repressing District 4 for the 70th Hunger Games is… Annie Cresta."

My whole body freezes and I don't know what to do. Lana looks at me and gives me a nudge. I walk to the stage woodenly and stand next to Aries.

I see myself on the screens. My face is as white as a sheet, my brown hair is flowing through the wind, and my blues eyes are filling up with tears.

Do not cry. I think to myself.

"So Miss. Cresta how does it feel to be this years tribute?"

Do not cry. I think to myself again. "I…" too late. Tears start pouring out o f my eyes.

"Very well." Aries says disappointed.

"Now onto the boys." He picks a paper and opens it quickly.

"Daniel Houl." He says and a boy from the eighteen section gets called out. He has sandy blonde hair, green eyes, and tanned skin like most of the population in 4.

"How does it feel Mr. Houl to be representing District 4 in the 70th Hunger Games."

"I can't wait for them to begin." He says and flashes a devilish smile.

"Very well now shake hands." He says

We do my hands are clammy because I'm so nervous.

We then get escorted to the Justice Building to say goodbye to our friends and families.

I sit down on the bench and hold my face in my hands and start crying.

"Annie." My mother says and runs towards me and hugs me.

"It's okay." She says and strokes my hair.

"No, it's not."

"Shhh just take it one day at a time sweets." She says and kisses my forehead.

"I love you mom." I say and hold her close.

"I love you too and whatever happens in that arena always remember that." She kisses me again and hold me for the rest of the time.

Next Lana comes in

"Annie." She says and hugs me.

"I guess the thing about Finnick Ofair isn't as funny." I laugh.

"No." She says and hugs me.

"Don't worry Annie you are smart and decent with knives and blow darts you have a decent shot."

"Do you think I can win."

"I think you have a shot." She tells me.

It isn't a yes but it's not a no either, so I will take it.

For the rest of the time I sit here in silence. I have calmed myself down. I feel I can face Dan and the mentors without crying.

Aries gets us and takes us to the train.

"These are your mentors Mags, Luna, and Finnick." He says as if they are the most important people in the world.

"Way to go." Finnick says looking at me.

"What?" I say looking confused.

"Tell me Annie do you want to die?"

"No."

"Then why did you cry up there?"

"Because I'm scared." I mumble.

"Well that is a reasonable response however, you can't show any emotion. I can guarantee people are already thinking the female tribute from 4 is weak. Sponsors don't like that so you would have trouble finding some."

"Like you would know." I mumble.

"What was that?" He says annoyed.

"You didn't need to work for anything you just got sponsors because you are good looking."

He looks hurt when I say this. I wonder if anyone ever disagrees with him.

"Well I am still a mentor and know how these things work. Besides the sponsors are not the only ones who will be thinking this, so will the tributes and the people from 1 and 2 won't like that and you are suppose to work with them. You might want to grow a back bone and learn to stop crying because it will only hurt you. Don't mess up again Annie." He says clearly annoyed

"How can you be so mean! What did I ever do to you!" I shout at him.

"I'm just being realistic. I'm not here to baby you that is what Luna and Mags are for. Stop throwing a pity party and accept that this what you have to deal with."

Something is off when he talks about dealing with this. His voice sounds sad. I don't know why that would be because he doesn't seem compassionate at all.

"I have accepted it." I spit back.

"Good." He says and walks to another train car.

"Woah." Dan says "Looks like you're on his bad side and I'm sure that's not a good thing."

"Whatever."I say.

I go to the dining car where the rest of them are. I sit down and eat the food. The whole time I notice Finnick is staring at me. His eyes don't hold rage they hold pity and sorrow.

Something about him is off. He says one thing but his body is projecting something else. I wonder what is going on inside that head of his.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I toss and turn but can't sleep.I think it is the shock of it all or it could be the things Finnick said to me. He seems odd there is something about him that doesn't add up.

I get up and leave the room. One of the train attendants ask if I want anything ,I ask for tea. I usually drink tea when I can't sleep. It makes me tired or some reason.

There is a room off from this one and I can hear someone talking.

"It's okay Marci it was just a bad dream."

It's Finnick, his voice sounds so sweet and comforting. It is completely different from how he sounded earlier today. I wonder who he is talking to.

"Marci, Mom and Dad aren't coming back remember what we told you." He says sadly.

"There was an accident and they got hurt…" he trails off not knowing how to finish. He has pain in his voice I wonder how many times he has told her this. I'm assuming he his speaking with his sister. She is thirteen, she should understand the concept of life and death by now. Maybe she doesn't want to accept that her parents are dead or maybe her mind has locked away the memories because she doesn't want to deal with it.

"Marci put Michael back on the phone."

I think that is his younger brother.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to do this." He says defensively.

"I wish that too." He says annoyed

His voice is filled with regret and anger.

"I know but she will be okay. I'll probably call sometime tomorrow. It will be easier before the Capitol madness starts."

"I know." He says angrily.

"Dammit Michael. I don't want this. How many times are we going to have this conversation."

"Just take care of her." He says sadly.

"Fine." He says and slams down the phone.

I wonder why he got angry so quickly.

He gets out of the room and the attendant comes with my tea.

"Here you are Miss."

"Thanks." I say

Finnick walks over and has a sly smile I don't think he knows I heard him.

"Why are you up Cresta." He says and sits next to me.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Neither can I." He says he is right next to me but he sounds like he is a million miles away.

"Why is that?" I ask

"Lots of reasons."

I nod.

"You good at anything?" He says

"What?" I say confused

"For the Huger Games." He smirks

"Oh, well… people tell me I am handy with knife."

"You don't sound too sure." He smiles at me.

"Well…"

"Confidence is key Annie. It's all about acting, it's all about the way you want to present yourself. Being good at killing is just half of it."

"So…what? I'm suppose to act like a ruthless killer but when I get in the arena run and hide."

"I've heard of worse ideas." He tells me.

"Well you don't really need an act now do you Finnick?"

"No I guess not." He says. It's suppose to sound cocky but his face is telling a different story. It is filled with remorse.

"Why do you do that?" I ask him.

"Do what?" He asks confused

"Say something snarky but then look sad."

He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"You notice things that's something and you're very perceptive." He says

He gets up and starts to walk away.

"You should get some sleep." He says not bothering to turn around.

"Wait."

He stops and turns around.

"Yes." He says

"You didn't answer my question."

"I know." He says smugly. He turns back around and heads to his room.

I sigh.

"Complex fellow." I say aloud. He left the room but I swear I can hear him chuckle.

* * *

I roll off the bed onto the floor.

"Ouch." I say and pick myself up and head to the shower.

I get in the bathroom and the shower has lots of buttons. I'm just used to turning a knob but this is beyond my knowledge I just press random buttons. I look around for soap but don't see any. I learn why, a couple of minutes later it is spurting from the walls. It smells like water lilies. I dry off, get dressed, and french braid my hair.

I head to the dining car when I get in there it is only Mags and Aries.

"Good morning Annie don't you look marvelous." Aries says

"Um thanks."

"How did you sleep?" Mags asks me.

"Fine I think. We get to the Capitol today correct?"

"Yes that's correct but first we get to watch the recaps." Aries says.

"Do you have any questions?" Mags asks

"Yes… what's it like?"

"The Capitol?"

I nod.

"It's like waking up in an animated dream. It all seems not real." She says

I nod. They start to bring out breakfast and the others come in. They pour some coffee into our mugs. I've never had coffee. Not because it's a luxury but because my mother hates it. I take a sip and scrunch my face…it is so bitter.

Finnick smiles and opens the jar next to him.

"Want a sugar cube?" He says sounding seductive.

I smile and can feel myself blushing. I don't know why, I don't like him like that.

"I'll pass." I say trying to get a hold of myself.

He shrugs and plops three into his mug.

"Alright, after breakfast they will show the recaps. You should try and pay attention. As Finnick so kindly pointed out to Annie yesterday usually the tributes from 4 work with the tributes from 1 and 2 but, you don't have to do that." Luna says.

"It would be wise to though." Finnick says

"Why won't they just kill us?" Dan asks.

"Let's put it this way would you rather face them alone?" Finnick says.

"But if it is all of us at the end we can't kill them." I say.

"Speak for yourself." Dan says.

"Fine, _I_ can't kill them."

"That's why you run away before that happens." Finnick says.

"But…"

"It's starting!" Aries shouts.

We take our plates and sit in front of the tv.

I know Luna told me to pay attention but I don't want to. I will see all of them in the Capitol anyways, right now all I'm focusing on is eating my breakfast.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The train is starting to slow into the station.

"Alright everyone this is the first time they will be seeing you in person! Make a good impression smile, wave, and have excellent posture!" Aries shouts with glee.

He is looking ridiculous. He has the same dark green hair that is styled so it looks like spikes in his hair, he also has interesting makeup on his face. His eyes have a silvery glitter eye shadow with dark black eyeliner. On his cheeks he has blue streaks that swirl around his face as if he was a painting. His green eyebrows seemed to be pierced and it looks like they have little horns. He is wearing just plain clothes though jeans and a dark blue v-neck top which gives you a good view of his chest tattoo. I think he always wears v-neck shirts for that reason. He looks like someone from a strange land or as Mags told me something from an animated dream.

When we leave the train station there are people who look as equally ridiculous as him. They are all the colors of the rainbow they look like nothing you have ever seen. Everything is like a very animated dream, the buildings are all very abstract some are bright colors like blues or pinks but other are the standard silver and brick building.

"Alright everyone this is where you will be made up so you can get up to Capitol standards." Aries beams.

"Because we are just slumming it in District 4." I joke.

I can see Finnick smiling and holding in a laugh.

"Exactly." Aries says completely oblivious. If he was an escort for a different District I think he would be laughing too.

"Alright, you wait here while I try to find your prep team." He says and scurries off.

"Is he always this out of touch with reality?" I ask him.

"He is tame compared to most of the citizens here believe me I-

"Finnick!" A woman cuts him off and starts to skip over here.

She has big blue eyes, pale skin, and blonde hair. Her hair is chin length and is up in two small pigtails tied with big ribbons that flow to her waist. She is wearing an interesting pink cut out dress.

"Hello Komari." Finnick smiles at her.

"I am so excited to see you. I have been waiting for you to come back so you could spend time with me."

"Well, I am here now just for you." He says in a voice that is so sincere I almost believe him.

"Oh Finnick don't lie." She says flirtatiously.

She looks to me.

"Is this your tribute?"

"The female one yes." He says.

"Oh she is so cute! You're so cute! I can't wait to see you in the arena! I always love your tributes Finnick! I just love them! What was your name again?"

I can't even answer her question because she is talking so quickly. It's like she is on something, I won't rule it out, who knows what happens in the Capitol.

"I think I will sponsor you! Oh you're so cute stop being so cute! I wonder how they will make you look even cuter, that hair those eyes!" She pinches my cheek. I think you've got a winner Finnick."She smiles.

"I think so too." He says with his eyes in a dead lock with mine. I think he actually means it, which I find strange because I can't really do anything.

"I'm so sorry cute one but, I am taking Finnick away from you we have plans." She smiles to me. "Isn't that right Finnick."

"Whatever you wish Komari." He smiles "But before we go I have to consult with the other mentors."

She smiles at me and twirls her ribbons. Finnick is talking with Mags and Luna he comes back in a few minutes.

"I will see you later Annie." He tells me. He looks at the girl and holds out his hand "Lead the way Miss Komari." He says seductively.

"Of course." She takes his hand and drags him from the room.

I look at Mags and Luna I expect them to look angry but, they don't. They look sad and I'm surprised because he is leaving to go have fun. I'm not disappointed, I had anticipated this, after all it is what he is known for.

Aries comes back.

"Alright, Annie Dan follow me!"

He takes us down a hallway and stops when there are rooms with 4's on them.

"The one to the left is Dan's so that means Annie yours is the one on the right. Now go in so they can make you look like stars!" He says and practically pushes us into our rooms.

When I enter there are two people in here a man and a woman. They both look to be thirty and not as strange as the people I saw in the crowd. The man has purple hair and the woman's hair is a royal blue.

"Come here." The woman instructs.

I do.

"You are very fair. Yule will like that."

"Who's that?"

"Your stylist sweetie. We just make you look picture perfect, he approves everything. Right now he is putting the finishing touches on your outfit." The man says.

The man and woman's personalities are polar opposites from one another. The woman is cold and harsh and the man is warm and inviting.

"I'm Dean and that pile of joy is Diana." The man says.

"Annie."

"We know." Diana says annoyed

"I was just..."

"No talking we are working."

Dean smiles and mouths 'sorry.'

I smile back at him.

They shower me down and spray me with this sticky sweet stuff. The smell is so fake it is making me dizzy. They then work on my face and pluck my eyebrows when they are finished they have over plucked them and I looked surprised, I wonder if this is a Capitol thing. Now they start smearing makeup on my face. Diana is grabbing a decent amount of something.

"Ah, ah Diana." Dean says in a scolding tone and wagging his finger. "Remember what Yule said not a lot. He only wants to enhance her natural features." Dean scolds.

Diana sighs "But I think..."

"Your not the boss." He smiles.

They put on toner, bronzer, blush, shimmery eye shadow, eyeliner, and fake eyelashes. They brush out my hair and curl it so my hair is in soft curls that frame my face. They also spray something in it that gives it a blue tint with glitter.

"There you look ready." Dean says.

"I still think more would've been better." Diana says.

"I think she looks perfect." Dean says.

Diana sighs and leaves the room.

"Yule will be in here shortly." Dean says and follows Diana.

I look at my reflection. I don't look very different, which I like. Most of the time people are covered in makeup and you can't see what they really look like until they are in the arena. I'm glad this Yule person isn't making me look like an idiot.

I think my hair looks strange the blue and glitter highlights are abnormal. I'm assuming the people in the Capitol people will love it though.

I hear the door open.

"Hello Annie."

I turn around and see a man who looks to be in his late forties or early fifties. He looks normal excepted for the makeup on his eyes.

"Hi." I say

"I'm Yule, you're stylist. Do you like this look I have prepared."

"It's great I would be fine with whatever though." I smile.

He smiles.

"Good I like the flexible tributes. This is what you will be wearing."

He hands me an outfit bag and I open it.

"Oh." I say.

"Get dressed I think you need to be heading to your chariot soon."

It has shiny black shoes, long white socks that go up to my knees, and a very short dress. So short that it is goes up almost all the way to my hips it is leaving nothing to the imagination. It resembles a sailor suit. It is navy blue and sleeveless, it has a scoop neck and some of the fabric is white and blue striped. The rest is navy blue and there is a bow on my chest and it has buttons six gold buttons on my torso. It is complet with a white sailor hat that has an anchor on the front.

I put it on and feel like a pin up girl. I don't like it, I feel awkward and uncomfortable.

I get escorted by Aries to the chariots.

"What should we be doing?" Dan asks Luna and Mags. Finnick must be goofing around with Komari still.

I look at his outfit it is similar but, his outfit is more conservative. I wish mine was like that.

"Smile and wave, just look confident that's all you really can do at this stage." Mags tells us.

I nod.

_Tributes to your chariots _An announcer says.

Dan and I step up and a few seconds later we get wheeled out to the square. I can see a bunch of strange people but they all blur together quickly that it looks like a rainbow. The chariots stop and we are in the square and for President Snow to make his speech he makes his opening remarks and then we are wheeled back inside.

"How was that?" I ask Mags.

"You both did well. We should head upstairs now." Mags says.

We all head into the elevator and Aries presses the 4 button.

"Your room is on the same floor as you District number in case you ever forget." He tells me.

I nod not really caring. I think someone will always be ushering us back to our rooms anyways.

The elevator dings and I walk out it is amazing. It is brightly colored has a large sofa that could easily seat twelve, chandlers that are sparkling, and a dining room with a table that seems to go on forever.

"This place is nice." I say.

"If you think this is nice Annie you should see District 12's floor they get the biggest suite in the place." Aries smiles.

I see Finnick sitting on the sofa in the common room his facing is holding an emotion that I am not familiar with.

"Oh good Finnick you're back in time for dinner." Aries says.

"I'm always here for dinner." He says.

"Yes you are, I like that because I'm sure you have better offers." Aries tells him. I can tell by Finnick's body language that he doesn't like this comment because he looks sick.

"I would rather be here." He says.

He walks over to us.

"You look nice." He tells me sarcastically.

"I feel ridiculous."

"That usually means the Capitol citizens love it."

I nod.

"Well apparently _I'm so cute_." I mock Komari from earlier.

He smiles.

"Komari did like you, she already gave you some money." He tells me.

"So that's what you did spent all that time talking about me." I say sarcastically.

"No." He says and shakes his head.

"Well, you did have so much in common." I say sarcastically.

He doesn't say anything to this comment, I think I offended him somehow. I think Finnick needs an instruction manual everything he does is a puzzle to me.

"You both should shower before dinner." He says and walks off.

"Good idea Finnick, I will show them to their rooms." Aries says. He takes Dan and myself down a hallway.

"This is yours Annie and Dan's yours is across the hall. Dinner will be in an hour so shower up and come out when you are done." Aries says and goes back to the common room.

I get into the room and am surprised by how big it is because it looks like it will be small from the outside. There are two dressers, a giant bed, two bed side tables that have lamps, and a giant window that gives a good view of the Capitol. It is all made up of luxurious materials marble, crystal, gems. It is the most outlandish thing I've seen in my life. I know I will be saying that for the rest of the week... possibly the last week of my life.

I sigh and head to the bathroom. It is covered in marble tiles. It has a big shower that looks like it has facets coming from every wall and here is a futuristic like sink and toilet. It is all chrome which makes it look very tacky.

I get in the shower. There are many buttons just like on the train. I punch some of them and water starts to pour from every wall, and it is steaming hot. I don't know how to turn it down so I just deal with. I notice there is no soap but just like on the train it comes out of the walls in a few minutes and it smells like peaches.

I get dressed and flop down on the bed before going out for dinner. I just want some alone time, actually I think I want to avoid everything. I still don't want to accept that I might have to kill someone in a few days or worse... be dead in a few days.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Knock, knock! Rise and shine Annie you need to be in the training center in thirty minutes." A chipper Aries says. I wonder if he ever sounds sad.

I see an outfit bag on the dresser. I open it up and see black track pants with a white strip running down the side and the shirt is blue and back. The shirt has fours on the front and back of the shirt. Probably to tell what district I am from, I get dressed and head outside.

I see Mags, Luna, Aries, and Dan but, Finnick is no where in sight. I wonder where he is. I sit down at the table and see the breakfast they have put out. It has everything you could image. I go for a light breakfast because I am going to be doing something athletic soon. I just take oatmeal, a banana, and orange juice.

"Is there anything in particular we should do?" I ask.

"I think the survival station is key." Mags says

I nod.

"Learning how to use a weapon is also important. You should make friends, you already have an in with the tributes from 1 and 2. If you don't like them try and find someone else to work with." Luna says

"Don't show off too much, you don't want them to know everything." Mags says.

"Okay." I say.

"I have a question." Dan says

"Go on." Mags says

"Where's our other mentor?" He asks

"He is probably having some fun with that blonde girl from yesterday." Aries says.

"So he gets to have fun while we are in the fight of our lives." He says clearly annoyed.

"Oh don't worry come game time he will be helping you." Aries smiles "He is a very good mentor."

"Then where is he?" Dan asks again.

"Probably getting some." I mutter.

This causes Dan to laugh but everyone Luna and Mags look a tad angry.

"We should head down now." Aries says.

We get in the elevator and Aries presses the _GF _button. Once we leave the elevator he takes us down a hallway that turns into a gym. The gym has lots of different stations. I can see a weapon station where there is almost ever weapon imaginable axe, mace, bow and arrows, an assortment of knives, and tridents. Tridents weren't offered until Finnick got one in the arena from a sponsor ever since then they have been there. Usually only people from 4 use them but, they aren't as good as him. I can also see the survival stations where you can practice camouflage, fire starting, and plant identification. There is one more station that has to do with tying knots but, I don't need to know how to do that.

We get instructed to stand in a circle from District order. I look around the room and see the other twenty-two people. The people from one and two are very big and strong. I didn't pay attention during the recaps but, I'm assuming they all volunteered. I can't remember the last time someone from one and two didn't volunteer.

The boy from one has ash blonde hair and pale blue eyes, the girl from one has fire red hair and green eyes and a sneer on her face. The boy from two has brown hair and brown eyes, and the girl from 2 has black hair with a blue tint and green eyes.

I try not to look at the other tributes because I don't want to know what they look like because I may have to kill them in a few days.

A woman with hair that is gleaming like gold and skin that is the color of coffee comes in to go over the rules.

"Hello tributes and welcome to the training stage. I am here to go over the rules of regulations of this stage, you are not allowed to attack one another that is strictly for the arena. I would also suggest you visit survival stations many tributes believe that you don't need to go there and it is not as important as learning how to welid a weapon but, if you wish to become a victor you have a greater chance if your skill set is well rounded. You are now free to start your training remember the gamemakers will be watching." She motions to a loft where the gamemakers are watching us intently and then walks away.

"Do you want to stay together?" Dan asks me.

"I think if we split up we could cover more ground." I tell him. It's mostly because I don't want to get too close to him.

I head to the weapon section like everyone else, most people are going for the heavier weapons. I see the bow and arrow station is open. I am alright with this we learned archery in gym class. I wouldn't say I'm good but I can hit the target after a few times, I wouldn't make it my weapon of choice but, getting better at it won't hurt.

"Hello, first I want to see what you have got." The male instructor says. They have three bows I pick the one that is closest to what they have in gym class. I grab an arrow and load the bow. I squint my eyes to get a good look at the target. The target looks like a human and has spots that will make a direct kill.

I breathe in and back out then release the arrow. It hits the target but, it isn't a direct hit they would still be alive but probably injured.

"Not, bad. It wasn't a fatal hit but they would bleed out within forty minutes. Why don't you try this." He shows me how to get a direct hit just like our gym teacher did but, I still can't get a fatal hit every time.

"Why don't you try this Cresta." I hear a boy say and stand behind me. He is holding my waist and places the arrow a bit higher and it gets a hit right thorough the heart.

The person backs away and I see it is the male from 1.

"Um t-thanks." I say awkwardly.

"You're pretty good. I loved the strategy as acting like a weakling, I almost believed it. But, after seeing how good you are at this well... you have a chance in the arena." He smiles

"Yeah well you caught me." I laugh.

"The name is Bruno and I look forward to working with you in the there." He winks at me and walks off and shiver runs down my spine.

I head to the knife station which Lana says I am good at. I am about as good with this as I am with archery. I can make a fatal hit some of the time but, it is never a guarantee. Doing this is flustering me so I head to the survival station. I learn all about plants and I manage to start a fire. At least I am good at survival skills but, I do need to know how to work a weapon.

A bell rings and it's time for lunch Dan meets up with me when get in line a get lunch it's a ham and cheese sandwich, a apple, and a glass of milk. I'm surprised by how normal this I was expecting some luxury Capitol dish looks like they know how to keep things simple as well.

Dan and I sit at a table and the other careers soon follow. a

"Hey Cresta time for you to meet the rest of the crew." Bruno tells me.

"Fizzle." The girl from 1 says maybe she got her name from her red hair.

"Stevie." The girl from two says with a sneer.

"Wick." The boy from two says.

"Annie." I say.

"We say you at the weapon stations your pretty good." Wick says.

"Pretty good." Fizzle says.

"She's as good as you Fizzle." Bruno says.

Fizzle snarls at him for this. We end up sitting in silence for the rest of the time. After lunch I go back to the weapon station and study throwing the instructor uses an axe he starts talking about decapitation. I move on I don't want to hear about this or see it. Fizzle seems to love this, I don't want to work with her or anyone else but Finnick said it would be better to be with them than go against them alone and I agree with him. Another bell rings signaling that training is now over.

Aries is out there and so are the rest of the escorts. They all look as strange as he does.

"So how did it go? Did you make District 4 proud?" He asks.

"I think so." Dan says.

"Same."

We get in the elevator and I press the four button and we get taken up to our room. When the doors open we see Finnick making out with a brunette woman. It is not the same one as yesterday he really does jump from woman to woman. Finnick breaks the kiss.

"My tributes are back love." He says out of breath.

"Will you call me tomorrow?" She asks.

"We'll see." He says as if he is the most important person in the world. I can tell he isn't going to call her but, she will be waiting by the phone hoping Finnick Odair will call her.

"Bye Finnick." She smiles and giggles as the elevator doors close

He waves and blows her a kiss but when the elevator doors close his face holds relief.

"So how did training go?" He asks us.

"It went fine." Dan says angrily and walks off.

"What's with him? He asks me

"Finnick come on." I tell him.

"What?"

"Good god, really." I smile at him in disbelief.

"What?" He says again confused.

"A tribute has never gotten mad at you because you are fooling around instead of giving us advice."

"You weren't here anyways." He says annoyed.

"Oh my god." I say in disbelief and walk away.

"Annie wait." He says and grabs my wrist.

"Yes?" I say annoyed.

"I wanted to be here and I think you have a shot at wining this but…

"Being with your girlfriends are more important."

"Annie." He says and he looks like a hurt puppy.

"Don't look sad. You have a choice and you are making the wrong ones." I take my hand from his wrist and walk to the common room as I'm waking I can hear him whisper 'no I don't'. I don't care what he means by this statement. You always have a choice and he is making the wrong ones. I sit in the common room.

Luna, Mags, and Dan are out here. I have no idea where Aries went and I don't really care.

"So how did training go?" Luna asks.

"Good. We got in with one and two like _Finnick_ suggested but we really didn't need to work for it."

Finnick comes into the room and sits next to Mags. He is looking at his hands probably avoiding our gazes.

"What about you Annie."

"It was alright I'm good at survival skills but, wasn't the best at weaponry. I can hit the target but not all of the time."

"Well, maybe if you practice more tomorrow it will be better." Luna says.

"At least I can make a kill shot most of the time. I can usually hit them so I could slow them down." I say

"That's the spirit." Finnick says with a smile.

I roll my eyes because I'm annoyed with him.

"Dinner is ready!" Aries says and comes out from wherever he was hiding.

We eat dinner and then I head to my room I'm about to go to sleep but, I hear a knocking on my door. I'm assuming it is Aries telling me something important about tomorrow but when I open the door it isn't Aries. It's Finnick.

"What do you want." I ask him slightly annoyed.

"I um... can I come in."

I look at him strangely

"I don't want that." He says.

"I didn't think that's why you stopped by. Do you do that with the other tributes?"

"No." He shakes his head and walks into my room and sits on the bed.

"Then why are you here?" I ask.

"There's a reason why I leave Annie."

"I know why you leave it's because you're shallow."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then pray tell why do you leave?"

"Because I have to."

"Finnick you don't have to do anything."

"Yes... I do."

"We can go around in circles all night Finnick. I really don't care what your reasons are for leaving because I am too busy worrying about dying." I say

"You're not going to die."

"Were you not listening to me when I said I wasn't very good in the training center."

"You said you could hit the target every time but, can't make a fatal hit that is more than most tributes can say." He tells me.

"I guess but, in order to win this thing you have to kill people you should know that." I look him up and down. He did kill eight people without hesitation.

"Well, yes but you can win. You notice things which is important."

"I guess."

"You have to believe it though Annie."

"Why? Why do you want me to win so badly?"

"Because you are too good to die." He tells me.

"I can't argue with you there."

He smiles and this time it reaches his eyes.

"I bet you say this to all of your tributes though."

"Well some of them volunteer and others... you're just different." He says.

There's an awkward silence.

"I think I should go to sleep I have to train tomorrow and you..."

"Goodnight Annie." He tells me and walks away.

I lay back on the bed. Why do I get the feeling that Finnick isn't the shallow person he wants everyone to believe. And why does he think I can win so badly. I wish I had his instruction manual. I can't focus on him, I just need to focus on tomorrow. I need to focus on getting better at using weapons.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I toss and turn but, I can't find a comfortable position. I don't need a wake up call today because I can't fall asleep I just keep thinking I am going to die. It is six thirty in the morning and I have to be awake at nine. I figure I can just chill in the common room, no one should bother me. I start walking out there and I can hear someone talking. I wonder who else is up at six in the morning. After a minute I realize it is Finnick and he sounds angry.

"Fine!" He slams down the phone. I'm debating if I should go back to my room or go out and talk with him.

"I know you're there." He says aloud. He could be talking to anyone. "I know you were there that night on the train too." Now I know he is talking to me. I come out from the hallway.

"Hi." I say sheepishly.

"What are you doing up so early?" He asks me.

"I couldn't sleep nervous and stuff... wait why are you up so early?"

"I have my reasons." He says with his cocky smile.

He looks disheveled his hair is all messy and his clothes are all torn up. He looks sad and I think he was crying.

"You look terrible." I tell him.

He smiles

"Well, thank you Miss. Cresta I haven't heard that in awhile." He sounds genuinely happy that I just insulted him.

"You're a strange person." I tell him and sit next to him.

"Haven't heard that in awhile either." He smiles.

"Who was that on the phone?" I ask him.

His face hardens.

"Someone."

I roll my eyes.

"Are you okay?" I ask him

He looks at me strangely

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Like I said you look terrible." I smile.

"I can't remember the last time someone asked me that." He says sadly

"If you're okay?" I ask confused.

"Yes, people don't ask me questions like that they are too self absorbed."

I smirk

"Maybe, that says something about your character."

"You have no idea Annie." He looks at me. His green eyes contain sadness in them.

"I don't get it." I say abruptly.

"Don't get what?" He says confused.

"Why they all love you."

"Because I'm gorgeous." He says in a ridiculous tone.

"No you're not." I say.

He sits up and looks at me strangely.

"You're saying you don't want this." He motions to himself.

"No because you're too in love with yourself. There would be no room for me it would be all about you." I tease

He looks very happy when I say this

"Annie Cresta you are a strange person in the best possible way."

"I ermm thank you."

"Your welcome. So why are you awake? Training day number two and the evaluations are tomorrow."

"Gee maybe it's because I keep thinking I'm going to die." I say sadly.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better all the other tributes are probably thinking the same thing."

"So sincere." I tease.

"Annie, you'll be fine."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep." I tell him.

He looks at me strangely.

"Fine you're going to die then."

"Finnick." I say and shove his shoulder.

"What? I can keep that promise and do you want to know why?"

"What are you going to let me die in the arena."

"No, because when you win I can just kill you."

I roll my eyes.

"Add more red to your ledger?"

"Oh yes." He says sarcastically "But, seriously Annie I have a really good feeling about you."

"You keep saying that... I want to know why."

"You're different."

"You mean I can't do much."

"No, it's just hard to explain." He smiles at me.

"You're not falling for me are you." I tease.

He looks at me and has a strange expression on his face.

"Finnick relax I was kidding."

"I know." He says.

"You're not the person everyone thinks you are." I say.

"I am a man of many surprises." He teases.

"I'm serious Finnick... there's stuff about you that doesn't make sense."

"Like what?" He says confused.

"You yell at me for being weak but, then look at me like you want to say sorry. You looked relieved when that brunette idiot left, and you looked sad when you had to go with the blonde one. You're a fake but, I don't understand why."

"You should go to sleep." He says abruptly.

"But...

"You have those evaluations... and you need to sleep." He says awkwardly. He gets up and walks to his room.

I'm in the common room alone and confused. The person I was talking to wasn't the great Finnick Odair who is loved by the Capitol. I think the person I was talking to was the real Finnick... the one he doesn't want other people to see.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I start to hear a clattering noise and bolt up. I see it is the Avox's getting breakfast ready They are the only people out here. I ended up staying out on the sofa because I didn't feel like going back to my room.

A few minutes later I see Finnick and he is racing to the elevator.

"Hi Finnick." I say.

He jumps at my voice.

"Jesus Annie."He tells me.

"You look less terrible." I smile.

It looks like he had a goods night sleep and he doesn't look as sad.

"Thanks. Good luck for today I have to be leaving." He says in a rush.

"Where are you going at eight thirty in the morning?"

"I have to see someone."

"Miss. Komari? or the mystery brunette?" I tease

"Neither." He tells me.

I nod and smile.

"Well, have fun with whoever or whatever you are doing."

He smirks and walks over here and sits next to me. He takes my hand and looks at me and leans in as if he is going to kiss me.

I look at him strangely.

"Now, don't get jealous Annie I will be back to see your score and then I am all yours." He whispers in my ear.

I smile and can feel my cheeks blushing.

He leans back and looks at me smiling.

"Now wasn't that fun." He says and smiles.

"What do you mean?" I say confused.

"You are a liar Annie you said that you didn't want me."

I roll my eyes.

"That doesn't prove anything if you act all seductive anyone will smile and blush."

"Oh really?" He says amused.

To make my point I lean in like I'm going to kiss him and put my hand on his cheek. He feels warm and smells like sea salt.

"Yes really, and you should know that I'm not yours, and I won't be waiting because I don't want you Finnick Odair." I whisper seductively.

Now I back away and he is smiling and looks a little uncomfortable just like I did.

"Now wasn't that fun." I say in a mocking tone.

He is still smiling and it looks like he wants to say something but, the the clock chimes and his facial expression does a three sixty.

"Like I said I have to be going." He says.

"Have fun." I say.

"Don't worry I won't." He says sarcastically but, I can tell he is sad. I don't question it this time that is probably just how he is.

After a few minutes Aries and Luna come out.

"Hello Annie you are up early. Are you excited to show the gamemakers what you got?"

"Yes." I say.

"That may be the case but, you should get into your training outfit." Luna says with disapproval.

I nod and head back to my room. I take a quick shower and put on my training clothes then I head back to the common room. Everyone is out there now and it looks like I am late. I head to the kitchen table and start picking at the food.

"So what should we be doing in the training center today?" I ask.

"You said you wanted to train with weapons more would you should do that." Luna says annoyed. I get the feeling she volunteered because she isn't very nice.

"What should we show the gamemakers?" Dan asks.

"Show them what you think you are best at. You already have sponsors because you are from District 4 just try and do your best." Mags smiles at us.

"Besides Finnick is getting some for you now." Luna snarls.

"Well at least he is good for something." Dan says.

"So it would seem." Luna says.

I have a feeling that Finnick isn't actually doing that but, I'm not going to question it.

"Alright time to go!" Aries chirps.

"Good luck." Mags says to both of us.

We head down to the elevator and I do head to the weapon stations and I'm just as good as I was yesterday but, I see some of the other tributes and Finnick was right. I can do more than most, I couldn't beat the careers in a weapon match though.

"Time for individual evaluations." The woman from the first day says and ushers us into a room.

"This is the time to show the gamemakers what you have learned. You have fifteen minutes and make them count because these affect your chance at getting sponsors." She says and leaves the room.

We sit and I stare at my feet, waiting is agony. I can't image what the people from twelve go through especially since the gamemakers have probably lost interest by then.

_District 4 Annie Cresta. _A voice says from the ceiling.

I walk woodenly to the training center.

"Female tribute for District 4, Annie Cresta." The woman says.

"Miss. Cresta your fifteen minutes begins now." The head gamemaker says.

I breathe in and out to calm myself. I head to the archery and knife stations. I make some kill shots and stop in case I miss, it will look like I am better than I acutally am. I head to the knot tying station and make a few hangman knots and hang the dummies.

"Times is Miss. Cresta you are free to leave." The head gamemaker says again.

I smile and walk out of the room relieved

I head to the elevator and hit the four button. When I get to our floor I see everyone is here but Finnick.

Before I can say anything Aries runs up to me.

"How did it go Annie? What did you show them? Do you think you impressed them? Oh Annie if you mess this up it will affect your sponsors." Aries shouts with excitement.

"I showed them some of my weapon skills and hung some of the dummies. I think they liked me but it was hard to tell." I say.

"It sounds like you did fine Annie." Mags tells me.

"What did you show them Dan?" I ask

"Same stuff really." He says unamused.

"Why don't you two shower up so you are nice and fresh when the scores start." Aries says

We both do as we are instructed. The water droplets hitting me feels nice, it is calming which is good because I'm nervous about the score I received. I head out and see everyone but Finnick on the couch. Looks like he won't be coming back to see our scores.

"Perfect Annie they are about to start." Aries says.

I sit down on the sofa and the screen flickers on after a few minutes.

"Hello and welcome to the reveal of the training scores for the 70th Huger Games!" Caesar Flickermen shouts with joy. He has neon yellow hair this year and I think it looks terrible.

District one and two both receive tens. The female tribute from three receives a six and the male tribute receives a seven.

"Now District 4." Caesar says. I can hear the elevator ding and can see Finnick walking over here, he sits next to me.

"Cutting it a little close." I mutter.

He stifles a laugh which causes Luna to glare at us.

"Daniel Houl receives the score of ten."

"Good job." Aries tells him.

"Annie Cresta receives the score of." I hold my breath ."nine." I sigh in relieve

"Good job Cresta." Finnick smiles at me. "We can work with that."

"Let's celebrate over dinner then to is straight to bed." Aries says

Aries blabs on about how proud he is of us. I should be happy because I got a good score but, I'm nervous because in a day I will be in the arena fighting for my life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Miss. Cresa how does it feel to be the female tribute for District 4 for the 70th Hunger Games?" Finnick impersonates Caesar Flickermen.

"Um... good I guess."

Finnick rolls his eyes.

"Don't do that."He says

"Do what?" I ask confused.

"That weak stuff." He smiles.

"I'm sorry I'm not good with this impromptu stuff." I say annoyed.

"That is why we are doing these practice question."

"I see."

"They will probably ask about me as well." He smiles.

"Someone has an ego." I say nonchalantly because it is what he is known for.

"He does it every year with the female tribute."

"Oh, does he want to know if Finnick Odair stole my heart." I mock

"Something like that." He says.

"Well he shouldn't, word around the street is you only go for the Capitol girls." I smile.

"That's true I guess." He says. It sounds like there is a double meaning to this but, I don't care. I can't waste anymore time trying to figure out his puzzles I am just going to stay focused on not dying.

"Should we just start over?" I ask.

"Sure." He smiles.

"So tell me Annie how does it feel to be the female tribute representing District 4 for the 70th annual Hunger Games." Caesar Flickermen beams.

" I can't believe it is happening to me, I don't know how to process my thoughts because of everything that has happened." I smile.

Finnick and I practiced more, he told me to answer things with double meanings. So it sounds exciting for the Capitol but, for the rest of the citizens or at least my family will know how I really feel.

"Excellent! You got a good training score do you want to tell me what you did?" He smiles.

"I'm not supposed to tell but, I'm sure you will see something similar in the arena." I giggle.

"Oooooo well I will be looking forward to it Annie, I'm sure we all will be. Won't we folks" He smiles and laughs and so does the crowd.

"I sure hope so." I smile.

"What do you think of your mentors?" He asks me. This is supposed to be about Finnick but, I don't think I will talk about him much.

"Well, Mags is such a sweet and kind woman, Finnick is very nice as well but, Luna well... she has a fire that I can't explain." I smile.

"Oooo a fiery personality! All the Capitol citizen like someone with that." He says.

I sigh in relief because he didn't ask more about Finnick.

"But, many Capitol citizens would love to be in your place." He says.

"And why would that be?" I ask trying to hide my disgust.

"Because they would love to know all about Finnick Odair." He smiles.

"Well, I am with them. Finnick is a riddle wrapped around a mystery everything he does confuses me but, he gives great advice." I say truthfully. I can't figure out anything about him because the things he does are strange. I might never know the answer because I might die, this should probably bother me but, it doesn't because Finnick Odair is not my concern.

I walk backstage and see them all looking at me and Finnick is smiling.

"A riddle wrapped around a mystery, and you said you weren't good at coming up with things on the spot." He smiles.

"Because it wasn't, that is what I think of you because something about you doesn't add up."

"Does that bother you Annie?" He says in a seductive voice.

"Nope, that the first time you've heard that?" I tease.

"Maybe." He smiles.

"How does it feel?" I ask.

"Such a strange feeling I don't know how people deal with it." He says sarcastically.

"You should be paying attention Annie, by the way thanks for the shout out." Luna smiles.

I try not to watch the rest of the interviews because I don't want to see their faces or know anything about them, it will just make it harder if I have to kill them.

"Alright everyone let's go upstairs and reflect on the interviews." Aries says.

We head for the elevator and get to the dining room. Aries, Mags, Luna, and Finnick all talk about the interviews but, I tune them out and just pick at my food.

"Alright. Dan, Annie it is time for any last minute questions before you head off to sleep." Aries asks.

"Do you have anything?" Mags asks us.

"Nothing comes to mind." I say.

"Should we kill each other?" Dan asks. and I drop my spoon in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" Finnick asks.

"Well there is only one winner and I have noticed that the District partners don't usually kill one another so...

"Do you want to kill me?" I ask him.

"Not really but, if it came down to me and you at the end, you can guarantee I will choose me."

"Then you have answered your own question." Luna says.

"Okay well, I think I will head to bed." Dan says and leaves the table. I follow suit and walk to my room. I close the door and slowly walk to my bed. I pull the covers over my head and surprisingly fall asleep easily because before I know it I hear Aries is knocking on my door telling me it is time to get ready to head into the arena.

I get up and take a quick shower and put on clothes, I don't see the outfit I'll be wearing in the arena so I assume it doesn't matter. I walk out into the common room and can see Finnick, Mags, and Aries.

"Where's Luna?" I ask

"She took Dan down five minutes ago." Mags tells me.

"Oh." I nod.

"It's time for you to go down Annie." Aries tells me. "Good luck and make District 4 proud!" He exclaims.

When he says this it is as if a thousand knots have formed in my stomach.

"Time to go Annie." Finnick tells me and reaches out his hand. I grab it and he takes me to the elevator.

"Where are we going?" I ask him.

"To the hovercrafts to take you to the arena." He tells me.

"Oh."

"Don't worry." He squeezes my hand which I didn't realize I was still holding.

I nod and we go to a hovercraft and sit down. I am still gripping his hand tightly because I am so afraid, I don't think he minds. His hand feels nice and warm and surprisingly soft.

"Arm." Someone says

I do what I am told, I don't even care what they are doing. I feel something be injected into me and then they walk away.

"That was your tracker, it's so they can tell where you are in the arena. It makes it easy for them but, for the mentors also, because we can always tell where our tributes are." Finnick tells me gently.

I nod. I don't think I will be able to say anything to him.

The hovercraft lands and we are in an underground basement. Finnick takes me to a room that has a four above the door. There is a table of food, a bench, an outfit bag, and the tube that will take me into the arena.

"You should eat something not too much because you will be running shortly. Remember you are supposed to meet up with 1, 2, and Dan, and try to get a weapon to defend yourself."

I walk over to the bench and he goes to the table to get me some food.

"Here." He hands me a plate. I don't know what it is and I can't taste it

He takes the plate from my hand when I have finished and gets me the outfit bag.

"You should get dressed." He tells me.

I take the bag and head to the cubby of the room to change. I open the bag and see black pants, a blue t-shirt, white windbreaker, and brown combat boots. The shirt and the windbreaker have fours on the back of them. I put them on and head back out to Finnick in a zombie like state and walk to the bench. Finnick sits next to me and I grab his hand again, he doesn't seem to mind.

"Annie you can do this." He tells me.

I look at him and I am shaking slightly.

"Remember when your instincts tell you to run you run. Don't eat anything you aren't a hundred percent sure if it is safe, and remember these people are not your friends they all want to kill you." He tells me.

I look at him and a single tear falls out of my eye.

He smiles at me and takes his finger and wipes away the tear.

"Annie, I know you can do this and I will be helping you while you are in there." He tells me.

_Five minutes. _A voice from the ceiling says.

My whole body freezes.

"Come on you should head to your tube."

He pulls me up but, I can't support myself so I almost fall to the ground.

"Annie look at me."

I do as my told.

"Annie count to ten and give yourself that time to let in all the fear and terror then when you stop counting put on that game face and fight. Don't let your emotions get the better of you."

"One." He starts for me.

"Two." I say and start to let all the terror course through my veins.

"Three." He says.

"Four." I say.

"Five." He says

"Six." I say

"Seven." He says

"Eight." I say

"Nine." He says.

I hesitate

"Ten." He tells me.

I don't know if it is in my head but, I feel a bit better.

"Now put on that game face Cresta." He smiles at me

"I got it." I tell him.

He nods.

"Tell me what you got?" He asks me.

"What?"

"What you should do in the arena."

"Find the people from 1, 2, and Dan, get a weapon, trust my instincts, don't eat anything I don't know, these people aren't my friends, and I shouldn't hesitate to kill them because if I don't they will kill me." I tell him.

"Good." He tells me. "And remember myself, Mags, and Luna will be helping you."

_One minute. _The voice from the ceiling says.

I wrap my arms around Finnick. I don't know why, maybe it is because it will be the last person I will hug or maybe it is because I want to feel comfort before I almost die.

He strokes my hair.

_Tributes to your tubes. _

Finnick lets go of me and takes my hand. He leads me to the tube that will rise me to the arena.

"You can do this Annie."

"I can do this." I tell him.

He smiles and I go into the tube I turn around and can feel myself shaking.

Finnick says something but, I can't hear him. I think he picked up on this because he puts both of his hands up.

_Count to ten. _I think to myself. I close my eyes.

_One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. _

I open my eyes and he is smiling.

The tube starts to rise.

_Get with 1, 2, and Dan. Get a weapon. Instincts. These people are not my friends. Kill them. _I think to myself.

"Welcome to the 70th Hunger Games and as always let the odds be _ever_ in your favor."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"The 70th Annual Hunger Games will begin in 60 59 58...

I look around and take in my surroundings. In front of me is the cornucopia and I can see weapons and supplies in front of it. I see that the arena is mostly mountainous and it looks like the only hiding places are behind the crevasses in the mountains.

"30, 29, 28..."

Beyond the cornucopia is a dam like structure filled with a lake and has many trees behind it. It reminds me of something we learned in the History before Panem class, it was called the Hoover Dam. I look around and try to find Bruno, Fizzle, Stevie, Wick, or Dan. I see two circles away from me is Bruno and he smiles and motions to a pile of weapons and I nod.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6

I hold my breath and get ready to run.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1." A bell gongs and I run towards where Bruno motioned to. It just now occurred to me that this could be a trap but, he seemed to like me in the training center.

"Game on Cresta." He smiles.

I pick up a backpack and the knife set that is next to it.

I can see Bruno kill someone in front of me. I run to the cornucopia and see one of the tributes coming after me.I throw a knife at them and they go down. I have no idea if they are dead but, I don't have time to think or care about it.

I keep running and run into a boy that looks twelve years old and I freeze he looks terrified. I can't kill a twelve year old boy but, it turns out I don't need to because a sword goes right through his chest.

"Annie get up!" Dan shouts at me and grabs my hand. He drags me to the cornucopia where the rest of the careers are.

I look around and it seems all the live tributes have left.

"They all dead?" Fizzle says and motions towards the bodies.

"I think so." Bruno says.

The cannons start to go off and we look through the supplies.

"I counted nine ." Blaze says.

"Fifteen left." I say.

I see one of the tributes in the field and they stand up. They are supposed to be dead but, he was hiding with the rest of them. It is a smart idea especially since we are so far away. He would be able to run off and hide before we got to him but, it doesn't matter because I pick up the bow and arrow next to me breathe in and shoot him. He goes down and I hear his cannon.

"Fourteen left." Steive says with approval.

"Good job Cresta." Bruno says.

"Thanks." I say but, I can feel my eyes filling up with tears. I'm a murder, I just killed two people.

Dan looks at me and shakes his head so slightly I doubt anyone else noticed. I know if I cried they would just kill me and I don't want that. I want to go home but, I know my odds are slim no matter what Finnick thinks.

"We should set up camp and then go hunting at dusk." Bruno says I have a feeling he is the leader in this little group of ours. He should be the one to kill, I wonder if they are all thinking this. I know I can't kill him and I don't want to run away yet because if I do they would just kill me.

We go through all the supplies and set them into three piles: food, weapons, and medical supplies. This is the most weapons I have seen in my life.

"You're both from four you want those tridents?" Wick asks.

"That's not really our specialty." Dan says.

"It doesn't matter because it seems like Cresta is good at long range weapons. We saw you with the bow and the knives you are very _valuable_" Bruno smiles and looks at me like I'm a piece of meat.

I swallow hard.

"That's true." I say.

"Good." Fizzle smiles but,I can detect jealously.

We wait until it is dusk and they all talk in explicit detail how they are going to kill the tributes. I nod along with them even though I want to tell them this is wrong.

"Time to go." Stevie says smiling.

"Wait who should stay here and guard?" I ask.

They look at one another.

"Your idea maybe you should stay behind." Fizzle says with annoyance.

"No, she should come with us she can shoot from a distance." Dan says.

"But, that isn't as fun." Wick grumbles.

"I can, I don't mind." I say. I want to get ride of them for a bit.

"No, Wick is right, Fizzle you should stay behind."

"Fine." She mutters and sits down.

We look through the woods and I feel strange hunting for people to kill. They end up killing two people leaving twelve people left.

"I think that's fine for a days work, hopefully we can find more tomorrow." Bruno says with approval.

"Yeah I just wish we killed more I..." Stevie says.

"Shut up." Wick interrupts Stevie.

I can hear someone step on some rocks.

"Someone is here." He says.

"Come out come out wherever you are!" Stevie smiles.

"With pleasure." A girl says she looks like she is the one from seven. I think it is stupid that she is trying to face six people by herself but, before anyone can attack her she swings it back and hits Dan and his cannon goes off. She gets his blood all over on me and when I look down I see his head at me feet.

I hear a high pitched noise and wonder what it is, then I realize it is me screaming. My feet start moving before I know what I am doing.

"Get back here Cresta!" Bruno shouts.

"Just let her go, we can kill her later." I hear Stevie say.

I keep running and am crying hysterically. I run into a rock and hit my head on another one and my forehead starts bleeding profusely but, I don't care. I curl up in a ball and cry and don't think I will be able to stop.

_Who does that to someone who decapitates someone._ I keep thinking this and start screaming. I know I shouldn't because it will draw attention to myself but, I can't help it. I sit up and start to rock back and forth a few minutes later something falls from the sky next to me. I back away from it scared. I don't want anything to do with it but, I soon realize it is a parachute.

My hands are shaking so badly that I can barely open it. It contains medication for my head and I also see a a note.

_You can do this Annie. Remember just count to ten. _

_-F._

"Finnick." I whimper and fall to the ground. I count to ten and feel a little better, I put the medication on and crawl into one of the crevasses to hide in. I put some of the elements on me to try and blend in. I sit down and rock back and forth wanting to go home or just wanting to die.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It's been a week and I have stayed in the same position crying and rocking back and forth. I didn't get any food or water when I ran away but, have gotten some parachutes with it. I don't understand who would want to sponsor me I guess they like seeing a girl sit in the dark crying all day. There are only eight people left but, I know I can't hide forever. This also means people will be coming to District 4 to interview my family. I wonder what they will ask them, maybe why is your daughter crying all the time.

All of a sudden I hear a loud clattering noise.

"What the?"

I look down the way and see rocks are starting to fall, they probably want me to get out of here.

I start running and try to climb my way out of here. I don't want to get crushed by rocks I leave everything I have behind not caring.

"Move, move." I say to myself.

I step up on a ledge and get up out of the crevasse but, rocks are still tumbling down. I start running and rocks are starting to fall all around me.

"No, no." I say thinking I'm going to die one is coming right towards me but I slam down on the ground and roll in the opposite direction but, I'm not quick enough because some of them land on my leg which causes me to scream in agony.

The rocks magically start to disappear and it starts to rain. I roll on my back and slowly sit up. I look at my leg and can tell it is broken I try and get up but, scream because of the pain. I can't move if someone finds me I will die. I crook my neck to the the dam and notice a small crack at the base.

If they don't fix that it will break. I think to myself.

I stay leaning against a boulder rocking back and forth gripping my leg until I fall asleep. I am awakened by the anthem and see two faces in the sky that means six are left.

I spend this time to try and find a new hiding place. I get up but, I keep falling down and have to bite my cheek from screaming. I sit back on the ground and cry I just want to die already. I fall asleep in the wide open when I awaken it is bright outside. I try to get up but, my leg has swelled so much I don't think it will be possible.

"I guess this will be my resting place."

I manage to crawl a few feet but just give up and roll over and cry and a few minutes later I get a parachute.

Where is all this coming from why would someone want to sponsor the poor sad girl. I think to myself.

"They probably feel sorry you." I mumble to myself.

I open it and find a small bottle and read the label. _REGrow bone- take twice a day until injury has healed. Note- while this medication is fast acting it will be a painful process and maybe more painful than the injury itself._

I see there is a note also.

_It tastes bad try not to vomit after swallowing._

_\- L._

Looks like Luna sent me this.

I open the bottle and smell it, it smells like peppermint I don't think it will taste that bad. I take out the cup it came with and fill the liquid to the fill line. I sip a little because of the warning Luna gave me and I want to throw up.

"Oh my god that is bad." I say.

It's not that much and it's better than having a broken leg. I think to myself.

I breathe in and out and put it in my mouth my instincts are telling me to spit this out but, Luna said if I did it that it wouldn't work. I close my eyes and swallow it and I do want to vomit. I dry heave but, stop myself from vomiting up the drugs, I lie back down and can feel a shooting pain in my leg.

_Ow Ow Ow Ow. _I think to myself and bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from screaming. It feels like a thousand needles are stuck inside of my leg. It is like that for a few hours and it dies down but, the feeling of the needles hasn't gone down.

I try and stand and my leg doesn't hurt as badly but, it is still broken. I find a big rock and hide behind it and splatter some of dirt on my face before I go to sleep. I take more of the REGrow Bone and still dry heave and the needle feeling comes back and I bite my lip and fall asleep.

I wake up and my leg looks way better. There is no swelling and it isn't as broken but, it still feels strange. I think I will be able to walk on it. I hear a cannon and bolt right up.

Five left.

I sit up and start to move. I wobble slowly at first and my legs are just very shaky but, then I realize it's not my legs it's an earthquake. I run into a crack where things aren't going to hurt me. It lasts a few minutes and there isn't much damage on my side of the arena. I look off into the distance and notice that the crack on the dam has run up higher.

"They're trying to break it." I whisper.

I sit down and quickly take the REGrow Bone medication I dry heave and fight through the pain and keep walking because I have a feeling they are going to break the dam and I need to get to high ground because all the water will come out. I'm a good swimmer but, if the water force is too strong I'm dead.

I walk probably a mile up hill and then sit down because my leg is hurting too much. I stare at the crack on the dam, I know that is what they are going to do it is almost half way up and water is already spurting out. As if to prove my point there is another earthquake and I can see the crack move up the dam and then the water bursts and starts flooding everywhere. I hear a cannon go off and stand up and see the water rushing towards me it is starting to flood the whole arena.

My mind is telling me to run but, I don't think it will matter because they are trying to drown all of us. They want these games to be over and they want it to be soon.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I see the water starting to go high up and toppling over the mountains. I turn to run but when I do I get tackled to the ground, this isn't good I have no weapons and can't defend myself. This is it, this is where I die.

I look up to see who my attacker is and it is Stevie.

"Think you can run off and hide and still win this thing Annie." She shouts. She punches me in the face causing me to yelp in pain. She gets off of me and starts ramming my head into the ground.

"You're going to die. Bruno shouldn't have let you run off we should've just killed you then and there." She snarls and bangs my head into the ground again and again, my ears are starting to ring and I'm seeing black spots and can feeling my head bleeding.

"I would draw this out but, I don't want to drown." She says and wraps her hands around my neck and starts to strangle me.

I push her face and try to get her off of me but, I can't breathe and it feels like I'm drowning. It feels like I'm on fire because of how badly my lungs want air. I can feel myself being engulfed by the water as well and the current is strong. I hear a loud band and Stevie has realised me from her grasp. I look for her and see she has drowned by the strong current next to us.

I'm coughing and am not fully in control of myself but, I pull myself together and swim away from the rough current and head somewhere calmer. When I get there I float on my back trying to get a hold of myself. The water keeps rising until we are almost at the top of the arena, there are only three left, this can't last that much longer.

* * *

My body is starting to shake because of how cold the water is by my estimation it has been six hours and it is still three people left. I do a combination of treading water and floating on my back. I'm starting to get tired and it isn't helping that my leg hurts and my neck is still throbbing from when Stevie almost strangled me to death.

I could just stop treading water and go underwater and drown but, to push that thought out of my mind a cannon goes off.

_One left. _

You can do this, just a little while longer and you can be home.

I go and float on my back and imagine that I am back in District 4 at home in the sea, not in the arena. After two hours my teeth start clattering by how cold it is. I wonder who is as a good a swimmer as me. My legs are starting to get weak and my head keeps bobbing in and out of the water causing my mouth to get a little water in it. I stop paddling and go completely under and feel almost at home but, I don't want to die. I push myself and stroke for a little bit more but my head bobs in and out of the water.

I stay like this for ten more minutes and I start having muscle spasms and go all the way under and don't have the energy to pull myself back up. I'm going to die. I close my eyes and see all black.

* * *

I open my eyes and am in a sterile room, I look to my side and see I have an IV in my arm

_What if this is poison that one of the tributes set up for me._ I think to myself.

I rip it out of my arm ,which hurts, and I get up and run out of the room. I find myself in a long hallway and am confused because they couldn't have changed the arena that much. I keep running and run into someone and they grab my forearms.

"No! No! Please don't kill me!" I say. My voice is hoarse from Stevie strangling me. I try to fight them but their grasp is too strong.

"Annie calm down, it's okay. You're just in the recovery center, you're fine."

"No! don't hurt me!"

The voice sounds familiar, it sounds like Finnick but, how would he have gotten in the arena.

"Annie shh you're not in the arena anymore you won just like I said. You're okay, you get to go home." He tells me with compassion.

I stop fighting him and look at him, his eyes have concern in them and he looks tired.

"I won?" I say confused.

"Yes." He tells me.

"But..." I start to feel dizzy and practically collapse in Finnick's arms. He holds onto me and pulls me in for a hug.

"You're okay Annie nothing bad is going to happen to you here."

His body feels warm and inviting. He smells like sea salt and I can almost feel the sunlight on his skin.

"Something bad already happened." I whisper and start hysterically crying. I feel a strange pinch in my side and then it goes black.

I wake up again and am in the same room and have the same IV stuck in my arm. The only difference is Finnick, he is sitting in the room and he is reading something. I don't think he noticed that I am awake.

"Finnick?" I say.

His head shoots up and he walks over to me.

He rolls over the chair that I think is meant for a doctor and sits next to me.

"You're okay Annie." He tells me.

"What happened?" I ask him.

"You won." He tells me.

"But, I don't remember..."

"When you went under the water the other tribute had just drowned. They pulled you out of the water with a hover craft and brought you here to treat you until you heal." He tells me gently.

"Oh." I say.

He smiles and holds my hand I don't shove it away.

"You're going to be okay." He tells me.

I don't say anything. "That's not true, you're going to kill me." I whisper.

"Annie I'm not going to kill you." He tells me worried.

"Then you're not keeping your promise you said if I won you would kill me." I smile.

He rolls his eyes. "I was kidding to make a point, I'm not going to kill you." He smiles.

"Promise?" I tease and hold out my pinky.

"Promise." He says and holds out his pinky and we do the classic pinky promise.

"I can cut off your pinky now if you break this." I tell him in a deadpan voice.

"What?" He says confused.

"That's how it all started. It was to show the people who broke promises." I smile.

"Well, I can assure you that won't happen." He tells me. "I'm too attached to it." He looks down admiring it.

It silent and all I can hear are the monitors beeping and my breathing.

"Finnick?"

"Yes." He says gently.

"Am I really going to be okay?" I ask him.

He hesitates.

"Yes... because I will be here for you."

"Even if I go bat crap crazy."

He smiles.

"Even then, you can't get rid of me Cresta you're stuck with me for life."

I smile because this is the same Finnick I saw the night before training day number two, it's the one he doesn't want anyone to see for some strange reason. I just hope he is telling the truth because I don't want him to go away because I feel safe with him.

**A/N: Yay for ten chapters! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I am glad you are enjoying it!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I stayed in the hospital room for a week until I was better but, they also wanted to make sure I pretty enough for my closing interview with Caesar. We have another week while they get my interview dress ready. I don't like being here I just want to go home, I usually end up sitting alone in my room rocking back and forth and crying. Finnick used to stay with me but, I told him to go away because I didn't want him to see me crying all the time. He still checks on me every hour. Like he said I'm stuck with him for life.

I hear a soft knock on my door.

"Come in."

Finnick comes in the door.

"It's dinner time Annie."

"Okay." I say and walk out the door.

We walk out and I can see for dinner we are having pasta. Something easy to swallow down which has been the menu all week: soup, chili. pasta, some interesting mashed dish, smoothies. I think they are doing it on purpose, I had a decent amount to eat int the arena thanks to my sponsors, who I still don't understand how I got. I wanted to ask Finnick but, figured it doesn't matter. I'm sure he could have _persuaded _people to help me.

I sit at the table and he sits next to me

The Avox start to spoon things onto our plate. Theystart to spill some of the red sauce onto the pasta and my mind briefly goes back to the arena and makes me see the blood in the cornucopia. I close my eyes and try and get a hold of myself but regret it immediately because I see the girl from seven sever Dan's head off. When I open my eyes I see his head on my plate.

"NO!" I shout and throw the plate across the room.

"Annie." I hear someone say

"No!" I say and am frozen in fear. I don't have any recollection of where I am, my mind is just blank from fear.

I hear a faint muffling sound it sounds like someone is trying to talk with me but, I can't tell. I sit and stare at nothing for what seems to be a long time.

"Annie it's okay." I hear the voice this time. "You're okay. Just count to ten." I hear. I know this is Finnick talking to me he is the only one who has said this to me. Even though he is talking to me the voice doesn't belong to him. I count to ten but, it doesn't help I'm still in a place between reality and my mind.

"It's okay Annie you're okay, it's not real, you're here with me." Hearing this makes me snap back into reality.

I see his arm is around me and he is looking at me, no one else is at the table and I have no idea how long I was sitting here.

I crook my head and look at him and he smiles at me. I feel like I should ask how long I have been here but, instead I feel a lump in my throat and start crying. He hugs me.

"Shhh shhh it's okay Annie you're safe here."

I hold him in my arms and bury my face in his chest and keep sobbing.

"I want to go home." I whisper.

"Your interview is set for tomorrow, then we will be back in Four in a day." He tells me gently.

I sniffle not knowing what to say. I just hold him and listen to his breathing and heart beating. I do this for awhile and he doesn't seem to care because he keeps rubbing my back. I feel safe.

"I don't want to get interviewed." I whisper.

"Annie." He strokes my hair and I look up at him

"You have to but, most of the victors don't. You'll be okay, just pick a spot in the crowd and look at it, don't pay attention to what they are showing on the screen." He tells me.

"It doesn't matter if I look or not. I still did it." I say.

"You had to." He tells me.

"No, I didn't." I whisper.

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't. I could've just died in there, drown myself or let the rocks crush me." I say.

"Annie don't think that you won not because you are a skilled killer but, because you are a good person."

"Most good people die for that reason." I say "How did I get all those sponsors anyway?"

"People liked you."

"They liked watching a girl sit in the dark and cry." I say confused.

"No... they did it because...

"What?" I say.

"Did you do something Finnick?" I ask slightly annoyed.

"No, they gave you money because they thought you were pretty." He says.

"Yeah right, just tell me what you did."

"Annie, I'm telling the truth." He says seriously and he sounds nervous. I don't know why he would sound nervous.

"Just because that is how you got your sponsor money doesn't mean that is what happened to me." I say.

"You sound offended that people gave you money for being pretty." He says stifling a laugh.

"Well... I don't...

"You don't what?"

"I don't want them to think I'm... like you."

His face hardens when I say this, I probably offended him.

"Why don't you eat something. You should order in case..." He trails off probably not wanting to say in case you start crying.

I take the device and notice I can still only order certain things which makes me upset. I end up ordering a lemon berry smoothie because I don't feel like chewing anything.

"I'm going to sleep." I say.

"Okay." He says and walks me back to my bedroom.

"Good night." I tell him.

"You're okay Annie."

I nod and the close the door and slump against it.

"No I'm not." I whisper to myself. I push my knees to my chest and start to cry. I sit here for the rest of the night, I think I fall asleep but, only for small increments throughout the night.

* * *

I hear a knock on the door.

"Annie it's time to get up you need to get ready for your interview!" Aries exclaims with glee.

I swallow hard. I don't want to do this interview, I don't want to do anything.

I get up and walk out to the common room and see Diana and Dean waiting for me. Diana looks disgusted with me already but, Dean is smiling.

"Hello Annie! Congratulations" Dean says.

"Yes congratulations." Diana says annoyed. I have a feeling she didn't want me to win."Enough chat we have lots of work to do today." She says

I sigh.

They put all this stuff on my face that I am not paying attention to. The whole time Diana is complaining about my skin tone or the dark circles under my eyes. I want to yell at her but I know it isn't worth it.

"There finished!" Dean says proudly.

"Yes." Diana says unamused.

I hear the elevator ding and know that must be Yule with my dress.

Finnick, Mags, and Luna have been here the whole time but, I haven't really acknowledged their presence. I look in the mirror and look ridiculous, there is so much makeup on my face I look years older than I am. It is black and tan makeup that make swirls along my face. There is also very long fake eyelashes that are a blue color and have jewels on the tips. Thankfully they didn't do anything to my hair except make it sparkle.

"Hello Annie." Yule says he sounds annoyed also, I guess he didn't want me to win either.

"Hi." I say sheepishly.

"Puts this on." He says and unzips the outfit bag.

The dress is a champagne color that has jewels on the top that sprinkle down the left side and then there is a mesh skirt. It isn't puffy it is a mermaid cut dress. I do as I am told and put the dress on. I can barely put it on it is two sizes two small and with it on I can barely walk let alone breathe. It hugs my body and leaves nothing to the imagination it is so tight it is either pushing something up or holding it end.

I step back out into the common room.

"So what do you think Annie?" Yule asks.

"It's a little tight." I say.

"It's supposed to be." He says offended.

"So people in the Capitol don't breathe." I say.

Finnick stifles a laugh and Yule glares at him.

"Well, everyone out there will love it." He says

"What if it rips when I sit down." I have a genuine concern with that because it is that tight.

"It won't." He says and walks off.

"Isn't he just a ray of sunshine." I mutter to myself.

Aries comes out.

"Oh, Annie... you look so beautiful."

"Thank you Aries." I try to sound genuine but, it comes out annoyed instead.

"Well, we should get going." He chirps.

We get in the elevator and I walk at snail speed because of how tight it is.

I can hear shouts of excitement when we get down there.

"Am I supposed to do anything special?" I ask.

"Not really. He only probably only ask you five questions at most then it will be the recaps." Luna says.

I nod.

"Victor Annie five minutes." Someone yells.

Finnick walks me over to where I am supposed to be before I walk out on stage.

"Remember Annie after the questions pick a spot in the crowd and stare at it don't look at the screen."

"I'll try." I whisper I don't think I will be able to.

I get grabbed by one of the stage people who will tell me when to walk out.

"Now let's welcome to the stage the victor of the 70th Hunger Games Annie Cresta from District 4!" Caesar exclaims.

I walk out onto the stage and the crowd erupts with cheers, I sit down and smile.

"Hello Annie!" Caesar exclaims

"Hello Caesar!" I say back in a mocking tone.

"So how does it feel to be the new victor?" He asks.

"It feels... different. I just can't wait to go home." I say.

"I'm sure that's true. You want to show off your new victor status."

"Oh you know it." I say sarcastically.

"Well, let's see why you are the victor." Caesar smiles. The lights dim and the screens start to light up.

_Pick a spot in the crowd and don't look at the screens._ Finnick's words ring in my head but, the screens are right in front of me and it's one of those things where you want to look away but you can't.

It starts off showing the cornucopia and the normal stuff happens. I see myself murdering the two people I killed and then we start to leave to search for people to kill. They show the people the careers killed and how they are all boasting about it. I see the girl from seven jump out and know I should look away but, I can't. I see Dan's head fly off again and see myself getting splattered with his blood and it roll in front of my feet. I hear screaming at first I think it is coming from the recaps but, then I realize the screams are coming from my mouth. Then I start crying and can feel my makeup running down my face. I try to stop because I know most of Panem is watching this but I can't. I put my hands over my face trying to hide it but, it is just making it worse but, I don't care. I just want to stop watching this, I just want to go home, I just want to get out of here. I just want to forget and pretend everything that happened here is just some cruel trick or some bad dream but, it's not. It's real, this terrible thing actually happened and I will never forget it because it is burned into my mind.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12.**

I have been home for a few weeks and nothing has gotten better. I hear things and see things whenever I close my eyes. I have nightmares that show me Dan getting decapitated and scream myself awake. My mother is worried about me which isn't surprising because I scream every night, and sometimes talk to things that aren't around. I moved into Victors Village and I am not fond of the place because it just reminds me of the place I want to forget, the place I see in my nightmares.

Finnick sees me everyday which is nice but, it has gotten annoying recently. I like being with him because he can get me to calm down but, sometimes I just want to be , he shows up and invites himself into my house. Sometimes he doesn't even knock on the door which I don't think is wise especially with me being so jumpy. He said I was stuck with him for life but, I didn't think he would come over so often.

Today I am going into town for a walk, I haven't done this by myself yet. I have gone with Lana and Finnick before but, not by myself. People don't want me to be left alone. I don't like because it makes me feel that something is wrong with me because they don't want me to be alone.

I walk on the path out of Victors Village and notice that the leaves have started to change colors, which I like. I like autumn because everything is bright with color. We also have nice festivals during this season but, nothing can beat the spring festivals the flower festival is my favorite but, that is a long while off.

I pick up a leave from the ground and smile at it, it is a perfect yellow color that goes well with the oranges and the reds...

_Red. The color of blood. _I think to myself.

_Think of something else, anything else. _I think to myself but, it doesn't help. The red leafs on the trees are dripping blood everywhere. The yellow leaf flys out of my hand and some of the blood of the red leafs falls onto my face.

"No!" I shout and start running to get out of the bloody rain that is falling on me. I trip on one of the cracks of the sidewalk and fall into the pond near the entrance of Victors Village. I scream loudly, water has not been the same since the arena, I keep thinking I am going to drown. I quickly get out of the water and sit on the small fishing dock and rock back and forth slightly until I get a hold of myself. The water was cold and I am shivering and I get flashbacks of me in the arena but, pull myself together before I start crying.

"You need help?" I hear him ask and see him coming out of Victors Village.

"What are you doing here?" I ask Finnick annoyed.

I comb out my hair and squeeze it to get the water out.

"I heard you screaming, wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Well, I tripped and fell into the pond." I say annoyed.

"Excuse me for wanting to see if you were alright." He smiles and sits next to me.

"Well I'm not." I tell him truthfully

"You're honest." He says surprised.

I shrug "I don't see the point in lying I know what they all say anyways." My chin starts trembling. I know what everyone in town thinks, they all think I'm crazy because I shout at things that aren't there and zone out to escape my troubles.

"Annie you aren't crazy." He tells me gently.

"Gee thanks." I mutter "What would you know anyways, nothing bad happened to you after your games. I think your life improved."

"What makes you say that?" He says confused.

"Come on Finnick, after you won everyone went crazy for you. You can also get any girl you want with the snap of your fingers." I say.

He sighs

"Annie, there are things you don't know." He says.

This comment confuses me.

"Well do tell." I say confused.

He bobs his head back and forth probably debating if he should tell me.

"Annie, remember how you said I did things that didn't make sense or that I was fake?"

"Which time?" I smile

He laughs.

"Well you are right."

"What do you mean?"

He pauses

"Finnick." I impatiently

"Snow he… sells people."

I scoff "Fine don't tell me." I get up but, he grabs my wrist.

"I'm serious." He looks at me and for once his eyes have no sense of humor. He looks very serious. He looks as if he is aged a years and is not nineteen.

"Okay I'll play along what does he sell people for?" I say.

He stands up and is face to face with me.

"Isn't it obvious Annie?" He tells me sadly.

"Not to me." I say.

He sighs

"Sex."

"What?" I say confused.

"Snow sells victors to important Capitol citizens, he sells us so we will have sex with them."

"No." I say not wanting to believe him.

"Yes." He tells me.

"So you mean that Snow is prostituting out all of the victors."

"The popular ones yes."

"So you being the cocky Capitol golden boy who gets any woman he wants is fake."

"Yes." He says sadly

"Okay." I say and stand up

"Anne where are you going?" He asks me confused.

I don't answer him because the person I know isn't the real Finnick. I don't know anything about him. I don't know the real Finnick I just know the one he is forced to be. I think I have seen shreds of the real him but, other than that it is nothing.

"Listen I understand if you want to be away from me but you should know this because…

"Annie." I say pointing to myself

"What?" He says confused.

"That's my name Annie Cresta."

"Annie?" He says worried.

"What's yours?"

"Finnick..." He says confused

"Well Finnick it is nice to meet you. I can't wait to learn all about you… the real you." I smile.

He smiles.

"I look forward to knowing all about you too Annie." He says back.

"Good now that we are on the same page you can walk me home." I say.

"Didn't your parents ever tell you not to go home with strangers." He teases.

"You're right they did, see you later kind sir." I smile and start to walk away.

He runs after me.

"Can't have you walking back by yourself Annie, there are a lot of weirdos out here."

"I have a feeling I'm looking at one." I smile and we walk back to Victors Village laughing the whole way.

* * *

I am sitting outside my house trying to get away from everything. I don't like staying in my house too long, I get an uncomfortable feeling that someone is watching me.

I see Finnick walking back into the village and smile at him. He comes over and sits next to me.

"What are you doing out here? It's kind of cold." He says.

"I don't like being in my house for too long."

"Oh." He says confused.

"It just reminds me of..." I trail off and start to remember the Hunger Games and me being in the arena. I put my hands over my ears to try and get the memories to stop from creeping into my mind.

I feel Finnick put his arm around me.

"It's not real, you're here with me." He whispers. Whenever Finnick says this I always snap back into reality, I think he has noticed this because he says it all the time now. I don't know why this works but, I'm not going to question it.

I look at him and tears are starting to fall out of my eyes.

"It will be okay, just come with me." He tells me and reaches out his hand and takes me back to his house.

We walk inside and his house looks just like mine except for his personal belongings.

"Finnick!" I hear someone exclaim with joy.

A girl who looks thirteen runs over and hugs Finnick. She has brown hair, sun kissed skin, and the same sea green eyes as Finnick, this must be his sister.

"Hi Marci, can you sit here with Annie for a minute." He smiles at her

"Okay." She says and sits next to me on the couch.

He smiles at me and squeezes my shoulder and leaves the room.

A tear falls out of my eye. I try to keep it in so Marci doesn't see but, I couldn't help it.

"Don't cry, Finnick will make it alright. He makes me feel better when I cry." She smiles.

I remember that first night on the train while he was talking with her on the phone. She didn't seem to know her parents were dead.

"Do you cry a lot Marci?" I ask.

"Only when I have nightmares or he doesn't tell me where mom and dad are."

"Marci..."

"What?" She says eagerly

"Nothing." It's not my place to her, her parents are dead. I wonder why she doesn't know, Finnick must have told her before.

Her hair is in an elaborate braid that has flowers in it.

I touch her hair.

"Did you do this by yourself." I say in a cute impressed tone.

She shakes her head.

"No Finnick did."

"Finnick did this?" I say surprised.

"Yes, he's good at weaving stuff. He says hair is just like rope." She smiles "But, between you and me he isn't good with putting in the flowers." She says in a hushed tone.

"It can be difficult." I smile "I am good with that though, I do it every year for the flower festival. I could show you later if you want." I smile.

"Really." She says excited

"Yes." I hear a bang and hear people talking loudly.

Marci looks sad.

"What's wrong?" I ask her confused

"That's probably Finnick and Uncle Michael fighting."

"Why are they fighting?"

I hear the water turn on it's probably to drain out the noise of them auguring.

"He thinks Finnick leaves for the Capitol too much but, he has to go for Hunger Games stuff. But Uncle Michael thinks it is for other reasons."

"Oh." I wonder if his Uncle knows about the deal. If he did I don't think he would be arguing with him.

"Do you go there a lot?" She asks

"No, but Finnick has been a victor longer."

"Five years." She says

"Yes that is probably why." She is only thirteen. I doubt she knows the real reason he goes there.

"Maybe in five years you will go a lot."

"Maybe." I laugh awkwardly because I don't think that will happen. I hope it doesn't happen.

"Do they argue a lot?" I ask.

"Only when Finnick is leaving for the Capitol, which he is tomorrow." She sounds sad

"Don't worry he will come back soon." I tell her gently

"I know." She says

"So you're staying with your Uncle then."

"I live with him." She says confused

"Oh." It makes sense Finnick is only nineteen.

"Well, you still get to see him." I smile

"Sometimes." She says and looks at the floor.

"What do you mean?" Does Finnick not want to see her.

"Uncle Michael thinks he is a bad influence so sometimes he won't let us see him, even though he comes over every day."

"Oh." I get a tight feeling in my stomach because the reason I always hated Finnick was because I thought he didn't care about his family. Turns out his family life is really messed up.

"I wish we could stay here like before. Finnick is the only one who can help me when I have nightmares." She says with tears forming in her eyes. "Jason tries to but he isn't as good so I always have to call him."

Jason is Finnick's brother we are the same age and went to school together. I don't know much about him because he likes to keep to himself but, everyone knows that he is Finnick Odair's brother.

I hear another clatter, the water is drowning out some of the sound but you can still hear it.

"Why don't we sit on the porch. I can teach you how to braid flowers into your hair." I tell her. It will be harder to hear what is going on in the kitchen. I don't think she should hear this but, Marci says this happens whenever he leaves so she has probably heard it many times.

Her face lights up when I say this.

"Okay."

We sit down in the porch and I get a variety of flowers that are next to his house.

"Now Marci the longer the stem the easier it is because it is wraps around your hair." I tell her.

"Okay." She says.

I show her how to do it and she watches intently.

"Here why don't you try on my hair." I tell her and undo what I have just done.

She nods and has a look of pure concentration but, she doesn't get very far because the door clatters open causing both of us to jump.

The person who opens the door is probably in his late thirties. He has brown hair, hazel eyes, and pale skin. I'm assuming this is his Uncle.

"Annie." He nods to me.

"H-Hello." I stutter

He smiles. If Marci hadn't told me those things I would probably be thinking he was a nice man but, that doesn't sound like the case.

"Marci it's time to say goodbye." He says firmly.

"Already? but we just got here." She says disappointed and confused.

"I'm sorry but, Finnick has other things he needs to be doing." He says

I have a feeling that isn't true the only thing he was going to do was talk to me and I don't care if his sister is here. She is nice and innocent. She is pure.

"No!" She shouts and runs into the house.

I can hear her talking to Finnick and can tell she is crying.

"What does Finnick have to do?" I ask him slightly angry.

"Nothing, I just don't want Marci around him."

"Why?" I ask

"That's not really your concern." He says.

I'm getting uncomfortable so I just look at the fountain that is in the middle of Victors Village.

Finnick takes her outside and kneels in front of her.

"Don't cry Marci it will he alright. I will be home soon and then I will see you." He tells her in the same tone he does when I cry.

She hugs him

"Can't I stay here longer." She says looking to her Uncle.

"No, as I said Finnick has things to do."

She looks at me.

"Oh." She says

Finnick grabs her waste so she will look at him.

"It's not Annie, she is leaving after this too, it's Hunger Games stuff." He tells her gently.

"Okay." She whispers and hugs him again.

He strokes her hair and kisses her cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you Finnick." She mutters and I can see tears spill out of her eyes. She lets go of him and Michael grabs her hand and takes her away from here to leave the village.

I turn and look at Finnick and smile at him.

"Do you really want me to leave?" I ask him.

He looks confused but, then his face has realization.

"No, I only said that so Marci wouldn't hate you."

I nod.

He grabs my hand and pulls me up and takes me back inside his house. He leads me to the living room and hands me a glass of water.

"Do you feel better?" He asks me.

"Yes, talking with your sister helped." I smile.

"She has that effect." He smiles but, it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. He doesn't look okay he looks hurt.

"Relatively speaking." He says

"Does your Uncle know about...

"Yes." He says angrily.

"Then why does he...

"Because he resents me for killing his sister."

"But you didn't...

"Snow asked me more than once I could've said yes but, didn't so now...

"That's not your fault Finnck just like you tell me it isn't my fault I killed people in the arena."

"But it feels like it is."

"Well it's not." I tell him and reach for his hand. He laces his fingers with mine and I lean against his shoulder.

"It will be okay." I say.

"No it won't. When I go over there and he won't let me in I can always hear Marci crying. She wants to see because she feels safest around me. Especially when she has nightmares of our parents dying. It seems no one else can help her but me."

"Why doesn't she know that your parents are..." I trail off not wanting to finish

"Dead?" He says in a dead pan voice.

"Yes."

"She has been told multiple times but, she either doesn't want to accept it or her mind won't let her. She does have triggers that make her remember and those are not nice days. She has nightmares of them dying but, that is all she thinks they are. Even when she gets told they died in an _accident_ she doesn't believe it." He says sadly.

"Oh." I say sadly "So you're going to the Capitol tomorrow." I say changing the subject.

"Yes, I get to see clients." He says

I nod.

"You'll be home before you know it though." I say trying to comfort him.

"Two days there and two days of travel. Four days total, you won't be able to reach me but, if you feel the need to remember me you can just come in my house."

"Really?" I say surprised.

"It's not like I have anything worth stealing." He says

I nod.

"Can you leave now Annie, I like to have some alone time before I head to the Capitol." He tells me gently.

"Of course." I say. I have a feeling he wants to be alone for other reasons though.

"I will see you before I leave though." He smiles.

I nod.

"Goodbye Finnick."

"Bye Annie." He walks me to the door and watches me until I get inside my house. I close the door and lean against it. I never knew Finnick had such a hard home life. I feel guilty for all of the things I thought about him before I met him, because it couldn't be further than the truth.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Annie, Annie it's alright you're fine." I hear my mother whisper to me.

I look around confused at my surroundings.

"Mom." I whimper.

"It's okay sweets, it wasn't real." She smiles.

"It felt real." I say and start crying.

"Well, it's not." She tells me gently. "You're safe here with me, I love you."

"Mom." I say

"What?" She says gently.

I hug her and sob into her chest she rubs back and holds my arms until I fall asleep.

I wake up and see she is still holding me.

"Mom." I say.

She wakes up and rubs my forehead.

"What sweets."

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too Annie." She says in a singsong tone.

We go down stairs and she makes me breakfast.

"Is Finnick coming over here today?" She smiles.

"No, he is in the Capitol."

"Oh, does it have to do with...

"Yes." I say. I told my Mom about the deal with Finnick mostly because I don't think she liked him just like me before I knew the truth.

"Why, do you ask?" I say.

"Well, I don't know dear maybe it is because he comes over here almost everyday." She says sarcastically.

"It's not everyday, besides he just stops by for a few minutes usually."

"He still comes by, he wants to make sure you're alright, he's a good one Annie."

"Mom." I say annoyed.

"What?"

"I don't like him."

"I never said you did. What would make you think that?" She says smugly.

"I... I... don't like him." I say again.

"Maybe you said it because subconsciously..."

"Mom." I say again.

"Alright, maybe I'm wrong." She smiles "But, if anything ever happens will I get to say I told you so." She teases

"Nothing is going to happen."

"Is that a yes?" She smiles.

"Since nothing is going to happen, yes I give you permission to say 'I told you so'."

"Okay." She says and walks over and kisses my forehead.

"So, are you and Lana going to the Oyster Festival today?" She asks me.

The Oyster Festival is a fall festival in District 4. It is supposed to be about catching oysters but really it is just a silly town event. They have contests, games, and they show off the Pearl King and Queen and their court. Then at the end of the night there is always small fireworks. I don't like this festival the most but, it is something to do. My favorite fall festival is the Johnny Appleseed one, it has everything I love about fall. That isn't for a few weeks, it will happen right before my Victory Tour starts.

"Yes, Lana and I go every year."

"I know but, I was just checking because...

"I will be fine Mom, Lana will be with me the whole time." I smile at her.

"I know, I just worry about you, you're my little girl."

I smile at her.

"And I always will be."

"I have to go Annie, will you be alright?" She asks.

"Lana said she would be coming over soon." She nods and leaves, a few minutes later I hear a knock on the door and, I go to answer it.

"Annie!" She says excited

"Lana!" I mock her

She comes in and sits on the couch.

"So we're still going to the Oyster Festival right?" Lana asks

"Of course, we have been going since we were little kids." I smile.

"Yes, and we have to see who the Black Pearl Queen is." She says in a mocking tone.

"I thought it was Black Pearl King and Pink Pearl Queen." I say confused.

"Is it?" She says

"Yeah it got changed a few years ago because Stacy Winkehkuse was elected as Pearl Queen she…

"Wanted more pink." Lana finishes remembering

"Yes so she insisted they find more pink pearls...

"Which is ridiculous because they are a rare type of pearl...

"But they did it just for her so she could shine and be the Pink Pearl Queen...

"And it has been that way ever since." I finish.

We both laugh

"How do they pick these people anyway?" I ask

"It used to be voted on by the town but, now I think it is just a popularity contest. I mean usually it is people from school who are 'cutest couple'" She smiles.

"Oh interesting,how do they come up with these festival ideas anyways."

She shrugs "Don't know, some of them were around before. This place was always in a better financial part of the country like it is today."

I nod.

"I'm surprised Finnick has never been the Pearl King all of the ladies love him." She says

"I think it is because he is a victor."

"Probably, so how is all of that going." She smiles.

I told her all about the act Finnick puts on she was just as surprised as I was.

"What do you mean, he isn't my boyfriend Lana."

"I know, I meant getting to know the real Finnick what is he really like?" She asks me.

"Not narcissistic he's actually pretty down to earth. He's kind and funny and there for me. He's...

"Oh no." She says

"What?" I say confused

"You like him."

I scoff "Lana please I don't like him. Can't I be fiends with a guy and have no intention of having anything romantical happen." I say annoyed. First my Mom, now Lana what is with them.

"You can and you do but, the way your face was when you were talking about him. You had the look."

"What look?"

"The look girls have that says take me I'm yours."

"I don't have that look."

"Annie." She looks at me.

"Lana." I mimic. "He is just my friend if that... maybe just an acquaintance."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself." She smiles.

"I'm serious."

"Okay." She smiles.

I sigh

"We should head down to the square I don't want to miss the opening ceremonies." I say

"Ah yes you think someone will push the mayor in the water again?" She asks

"It has happened two years in a row, so fingers crossed." I smile and we leave the house and he laces her arm with mine.

We get to the square and see everything is set up for the festivities. I see old people from school and they smile and wave, I nod politely, I never was friends with most people from school.

"So any prospects this evening?" I tease Lana, because she usually has some guy she wants to go after.

"Annie, festivals are a thing for you and me but, any other thing I would be looking." She smiles.

"Well, I'm glad I'm number one." I smile.

"And don't you forget it." She says

I look around and see all the scenery. They put some of the leaves up and made them into a collage that looks like an oyster, they have pearls decorated throughout the town, I see the booths that have the foods for the food tasting contests, I see the games that usually have to do with fishing, and I see the stage that will be holding the king, queen, and their court.

"Jason!" I hear Lana shout and wave someone over.

"One of your suitors?" I tease.

She smiles and stick her tongue out at me

"Hey Lana." He says.

I notice it is Finnick's brother. He doesn't look much like him he has brown hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. He is still better looking than the average person though looks like they have that in common.

"Hi Jason, do you know Annie?"

"Kind of…

"Yeah we had some classes together." I say

"Oh... I was going to say because Finnick talks about you sometimes but, yes we did have classes together."

"Finnick talks about me." I say surprised.

Lana smiles and raises her eyebrows trying to prove her point that I like him.

"Well you are friends right?" He says confused

"I guess... I just thought he was putting up with me." I say.

"Trust me Annie he isn't putting up with you." He smiles

I'm about to ask what that means but, the opening ceremonies start. The mayor makes a speech and they let the confetti fly while the trumpets play. They introduce the Black Pearl King who is wearing normal attire, the guys usually do and the Pink Pearl Queen who is wearing a pink dress that has sparkles on it. The they show their White Pearl Court, usually the King and Queen are dating so their court is usually just their friends. The King and Queen sit on the thrones that will overlook the festival. I never got why people wanted to be the King and Queen so badly because, they can't do any of the events they just sit on the stage and watch like wallflowers.

I sigh by how slightly ridiculous all of this is but, I like it because it is what District 4 does. These festivals also bring the whole District together which usually only happens on reaping day because we are a big District. I wonder if any of the other Districts do silly events like this. I guess I will find out when I go on my Victory Tour.

"Well, I should go I promised Marci I would take her around but, I might see you guys later." Jason says and walks off

"So you don't like him." She smirks referring to Finnick.

"Stop that Lana, do you like Jason or something?"

"No he's just nice."

"Just nice? Last I saw of him he didn't talk with other people."

"Well, he does now... kind of."

"What do you mean?"

"We were partners for a project and he was nice and easy to talk to so...

"You started to like him." I tease.

"So we, became friends." She says.

"Well, you get to be with Jason _Odair._" I smile.

She rolls her eyes.

"Let's go, I want to see if I can get a lucky oyster with a pearl and I haven't eaten much so we should sign up to be judges for the food competition."

"Just not the main course part last year all the judges got food poisoning." I say.

"I was going to say soups because it will be all nice and warm and it is kind of brisk today." She smiles and we do just that. After that is finished we walk around the square looking at all of the things the vendors are selling, which they only sell during festivals, and before we know it, it is time for the fireworks. I look at them as they illuminate the sky and it seems as if nothing has changed and I haven't been through the trauma of the Hunger Games.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

I'm sitting next to the pond outside victors village and staring at the water. It is very calm and looks like a mirror, the autumn leaves are reflecting off the water making it the color of fall.

"Hey stranger." I jump at his voice and he sits next to me.

"No stranger than you." I smile up at Finnick

He laughs.

"So when did you get back?" I ask

"A few hours ago." He says.

"Did everything go okay?" I ask not knowing what to say.

"I guess. Did you do anything interesting while I was gone?"He asks

"I went to the Oyster Festival."

"Oh yes District 4 festivals." He says with a smirk

"Do you not like them?" I ask confused.

"No, I do. I haven't been to them in awhile because I'm usually in the Capitol."

"Oh, too bad."

"Yeah, Marci doesn't like going with Michael."

"She wasn't with him she was with Jason."

He looks at me strangely.

"Jason my brother." He says surprised.

"I don't know anyone else by that name. Why does that surprise you."

"Jason has problems being with other people, especially large crowds."

"That's why he never talked to anyone at school."

He nods.

"It's social anxiety."

"Oh." I say.

"Well, we all have things we have to deal with." He smiles.

"Ain't that the truth." I say staring at the water dangling my feet off the edge.

We sit here a few minutes looking at the pond, there are a few ducklings on the water that are making a nice rippling effect.

"Hey Finnick?" I ask shakily.

"Yes?" He says confused.

"Well… right after I won you told me that I got sponsor money because people thought I was pretty... do you think... I mean... that there's a chance...

He looks at me sadly and I have a feeling I know what he is going to say.

"I don't know Annie, I was asking around when I went there but…

"But…" I say scared.

"People do like you Annie but, the final decision will be made after your Victory Tour." He says

"I don't want to... have sex with those people." I whisper.

"Most of the victors don't." He says

"But I'll have to say yes."

Finnick looks at me sadly because he knows this is true.

"Don't worry about it now."

"It will always be in the back of my mind." I say with my chin trembling.

He wraps his arm around me and I lean into him. I think he doesn't know what to say. I know about the deal, if you don't do it then the people you love die. That's what happened with Finnick's parents.

Finnick won at fourteen so he couldn't really have anything done to him until he was sixteen but, Snow kept asking him until he was seventeen. Snow figured he waited long enough so to get Finnick to say yes he killed his parents and had to go to the Capitol the next day or else his sister and brother would be dead too. That is why he left and couldn't be there for the funeral. Finnick thinks it is his fault which it isn't but it isn't helping when his uncle tells him this all the time. If his uncle didn't know about it maybe… maybe I would be able to understand but he does which makes it sad. He also shouldn't be keeping Marci away from him. I don't think he cares if Jason sees Finnick, if I'm being honest I don't think he cares about him at all. The only reason Jason stays there is to be with Marci.

"Annie." Finnick says abruptly

"What?" I ask

I have no idea how long we have been sitting here but, I notice the sun is lower in the sky and my muscles have stiffened from the cold.

"I have to go."

"Okay."

"I want to see Marci and Jason." He says.

I nod and a single tear falls out of my eye.

"Don't cry Annie I can see you tomorrow." He smiles.

"I'm not crying because you're leaving." I mutter.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I don't know it's cold and this is heavy stuff to be thinking about." I say.

"Well, I must say I'm disappointed, I thought it was all about me." He says with a cocky grin and his alter ego comes out.

"You don't have to do that… not here anyways."

He smiles

"Been in the Capitol for awhile it's hard to drop the act." He says

"Well you should work on that." I say.

He looks at me and smiles.

"Okay, maybe I will for you." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"Don't do anything for me Finnick Odair just do it for yourself." I smile.

"Strange." He says.

"What?" I say and crook my neck to look at him. His green eyes are locked with mine and they are as deep as the sea I get lost in them because of it. Finnick is famous for his eyes and I have never been close enough to him to see why.

He smiles.

"You're not falling for me are you?" He teases.

I roll my eyes

"Of course not, why do people keep telling me that?"

"That you're falling for me." He says confused.

"Yes." I say annoyed.

"Maybe it because I'm dripping with good looks."

"If you don't get off this dock you will be dripping with something else as well." I smile.

"Annie Cresta are you insinuating that you will push me off of this dock if I don't leave to see my sister and brother."

"I wasn't insinuating, I was implying but yes that is what I said." I smile.

"Well, I guess I should be going then. I don't want to get all wet." He smiles and stands and pulls me up.

"Well, you should be going." I say.

"Yeah, I should be going." He says and gives me a lingering look that sends a shiver through my body. It's not one that I get when I'm afraid, it's a nice feeling.

_Oh no,_ _I like Finnick Odair. _Looks like my mother and Lana were correct. I don't want either of them to say I told you so but... I don't care right now.

Finnick and I are only a couple inches away from each other. I can feel myself moving closer to him and he doesn't back away, we are practically face to face now, I tilt my head and-

"Annie!" I hear Lana shout and I snap back into reality and step away from him and turn to Lana.

"Lana, hey." I say slightly annoyed.

"Hi Finnick." She smiles.

"Lana." He smiles at her. "Well, I'm going to go, until next time Annie." He nods and leaves Victors Village.

When he is out of earshot Lana starts talking.

"Was I interrupting something?" Lana asks smugly.

"No." I say but, can feel myself blushing.

"Well, to me it looked like you were going to kiss him but, that can't be true because forty eight hours ago you said you didn't like him."

"I didn't... I don't...

Lana smiles smugly.

"Should I say I told you so now or later?"

"Nothing is happening."

"Okay." She says and rolls her eyes.

"Nothing is happening." I say again but, don't believe it. I get the feeling Finnick wanted me to kiss him because he didn't back away but, that doesn't make any sense because I don't think Finnick would like someone like me. I'm too plain, I'm too boring, I'm too broken for someone to like me.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The past few weeks have been strange not because I see and hear things that aren't there but because Finnick hasn't seen me. The last time I saw him was that day on the dock when I realized I had feelings for him and tried to kiss him. I guess it doesn't matter now because the Victory Tour is in tomorrow. He will have to be around me. Before we leave though the last fall festival will be taking place and it is my favorite fall one. I also think by the time we come home all the leaves will be off he trees and snow will be on the ground.

Lana and I are getting ready to go to the last fall festival, the Johnny Appleseed festival, it is my favorite fall festival because it is the essence of fall.

"So who is this Johnny Appleseed guy anyways? Is he a real person?" Lana asks.

"Didn't you pay attention in school Lana?" I ask.

"Sometimes."

I sigh

"They would tell us about it the day of the festival." I say.

"Well, I guess I forgot." She says.

"Well, let me remind your memory. Johnny Appleseed is the person who was responsible for bringing the apple tree to this land. I don't think it started in this region but, the soil is the same so we have some even though, our trick of the trade has always been fish, lobster, and cranberries. The landscape here is pretty vast, I mean do you see a beach here." I motion towards Victors Village all there is the pond, the houses, the brick walk, the trees, and the fountain in the middle. You can see a lighthouse and the sea filled with fishing boats in the distance but, Victors Village is not near a port or a beach. The closest port in this part of the District is in the town square. There are multiple ports throughout the District because of how big it is. The majority of the population work on fishing boats.

"This place isn't near the beach because you don't need a job." Lana smirks.

I nod.

"Didn't think of that… but some people don't live near the docks."

"Not everyone makes a living by fishing, we need shops and hospitals and we haven't been to every part of District 4. We live in the main part where there is more town jobs than fishermen."

"That is true, the only time the whole District is together is for the reaping or festivals." I say.

She nods

"So when are you leaving tomorrow for the Victory Tour?" She asks me.

"Bright and early." I sigh.

"Looks like I won't be able to say goodbye before you leave then." She says sadly.

"You can just say it tonight instead." I smile

She smiles

"Well, I won't be seeing you for a month... maybe more." She says

"I'm sure I will be fine." I say unsure.

"You do get to see the other Districts."

"I guess." I say.

"You also get to see Finnick he won't be able to hide from you anymore." She teases

"Yeah… about that..." I say

"What's with him you try to kiss him and now it's like…

"He probably didn't want me to kiss him." I mutter.

"Trust me when I walked in I could tell he wanted you to kiss him, his body language was inviting."

"Then why does he avoid me like the plague?"

"I don't know, all I do know is if I would've shown up a few minutes later you guys would be like gum on the sidewalk."

"What?" I say confused

"Your faces would've been stuck together."

"Oh well that doesn't matter because that didn't happen."

"Well you have a month to figure it out." She smiles.

I sigh.

"We should go to the square I want to get a caramel apple before they are all gone." She says and stands up.

"They have plenty Lana."

"No, they have plenty candy apples not as many caramel apples."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself." I smile

"It's true don't deny it Annie." She teases.

"I wasn't gonna." I say and roll my eyes.

We walk to the square and it smells like fall. Cinnamon, fresh sea air, pumpkin, baked apples, and the pumpkin glazed fish. We head to the apple booths and buy caramel and candy apples and sit at a table and start to eat them.

"We're going to get sick." I say and take a bite of the candy apple.

"No, because apples are healthy Annie." She smiles.

"But, all these candies on it aren't." I say.

"Well whatever you're eighteen ain't got no time to worry about that." She smiles.

"Nice grammar."

She rolls her eyes "I didn't realize I was in school."

"Well we are probably going to have apple pie as well." I say

"Then skip the pie." She says.

I scoff "Lana no, part of the Johnny Appleseed festival is the apple pie."

"I thought it was the pumpkin glazed fish." She says

"Well that too." I say

"Fine we'll get pie." She says

"Good." I say.

We finish our apples and then get up to walk around to see the booths.

"Let's go over here." Lana motions to the apple archery booth.

"Fine, let's go." I say.

We pay the money for three apples each.

"Alright-

"Annie!" I turn around to see who is calling me. I see it is Finnick's sister.

"Hi Marci. You having fun?" I ask her.

She nods her head. "Finnick over here just bought me some baked apples."

"We had the candy and caramel ones." Lana tells her.

"Finnick thinks that is junk and I shouldn't eat it."

"Hey, hey the apples are healthy." Lana says but, she isn't looking at Marci. I turn around and see she is looking at Finnick.

"Well, with all that stuff on it really isn't." He says

"That's what Annie said." Lana says and eyes us.

"Oh..." He says. "Hello Annie." He says with no emotion.

"Ice ice baby." Lana mutters. I don't know if Finnick heard her but, because I did I'm sure he did as well.

"You ready for the Victory Tour then Finnick?" She asks him.

"I guess, haven't gone on one since mine." He says still in a monotone voice. I feel uncomfortable just being by him.

"I wanna do this Finnick." Marci motions towards the booth.

"Alright." He says and they go off and buy their own apples and bow and arrows. They are plastic so they can't do any damage to you but, you will still get the effect. For this booth someone stands on the other side and you try and hit the apple off of their head. It is quite fun and they have pictures that capture the moment when it leaves your head.

"Okay, do you want to go frist or shall I?" Lana asks me.

"I'll go first." I say and take the plastic bow and arrow from her hand.

"Take your mark." I tell her with a smile.

She walks over to where the body outline is and places the apple on her head.

"Whenever you're ready Annie!" She shouts at me.

I aim the bow and arrow, breath in and out and I let it fly. It is a direct hit, but what I hit isn't an apple it's a tribute. I am suddenly back in the arena and everyone around me is trying to kill me.

"No! No!" I shout and fall to the ground. I press my knees to my chest and start crying.

"Annie, Annie." I hear someone say my name it is one of the tributes.

I get up and start to run away, I keep running until my lungs are on fire and sit down next to a tree and cry.

"Annie! Annie!" I hear someone shout.

I hear a rustling behind and stand up about to bolt but, I see it is Finnick.

"I found her." He shouts.

I back away from him.

"It's Finnick, Annie I'm not going to hurt you." He says.

"I know it's you." I whimper and walk over and hug him. His body stiffens, I think I might have broken some boundary but, I don't care. I want to hug someone and since he is the only other person here he gets the hug.

He eventually wraps his arms around me.

"It's okay Annie." He says.

I grip the back of his shirt and start crying.

"You're okay Annie, you're here with me." I say.

"Haven't be able to say that in awhile." I mutter.

I look up at him and he has a strange expression on his face.

I let go of me and take a few steps away.

"Annie I'm sorry I haven't seen you in awhile it's just..

"What?" I say annoyed. "What happened to you're stuck with me for life Cresta? Or I will always be there for you?"

"Well, I think your mother and Lana did fine helping you."

"It's not the same...

"Annie, please." He says almost in pain.

"It's not the same because they haven't been in an arena, like you have."

"I guess that is true." He says but, sounds a million miles away.

"What did I do Finnick?" I ask him.

"What do you mean?"

"I... you were my friend before but, then you came back from the Capitol you're just... different."

He shurgs. "Maybe, you're just looking into something."

"No, I'm not you would come to my house everyday Finnick. Every. Single. Day." I say with tears forming in my eyes. "I thought you were my friend but, I guess I'm still the tribute you are required to be with." I say and start to walk away.

"Annie wait." He says.

I turn around.

"What?" I say.

"It's just... It's just...

"Spit it out Finnick." I say.

"I don't get close to people and I was getting too close to you." He says.

"Why don't you get close to people?" I ask confused.

"Because then Snow just has one more reason to control me."

I shake my head.

"But, he's still winning." I tell him.

"Annie you don't understand...

"Oh, I understand Finnick. You're letting him control you still by not wanting to get close to others. It's the same thing, you have to make a choice either live in fear that Snow is going to hurt anyone you come in contact with or let people in." I say and walk away from.

When I come into view I see my mom.

"Annie!" My mom shouts and hugs me.

"I'm okay mom."

"I know." She says and strokes my hair. "I love you sweets but, let's go home." She says.

"Okay." I say. I'm not going to fight her. I actually want to go home.

We walk back to my house in Victors Village and I sit down in the kitchen.

"Where's Lana?" I ask.

"She went back to the festival."

"Oh, I wanted to see her before I left for the Victory Tour." I say disappointed.

"Don't worry, she will be coming here shortly."

"But..." I say confused.

My mom smiles, gets me some tea, and rubs my back. I hear a knock on the door and my mom goes to get it.

I see Lana and she is carrying lots of things.

"What did you do?" I ask.

"I bought everything you would've eaten while we were there. I even bought cinnamon sticks so we can have that cinnamon smell in the fire." She smiles.

"Thank you Lana." I say.

"Let's start that fire." She says. We do and within twenty minutes it smells like cinnamon and apples. She starts to take out the food. The pumpkin glazed fish, the baked apples, seaweed vegetable medley, bread with cinnamon butter, and of course the apple pie and hot apple cider.

We sit and eat in front of the fire on a pile of pillows.

"Why did you buy too full pies?" I ask.

"One for me and one for you." She says and gets the thermos of apple cider and pours them into the mugs and adds the cinnamon sticks.

"Thanks." I say as she hands it to me.

"You know I can get you a plate." I tell her as she is eating straight from her pie tin.

"Then you will have to do dishes and it's another added bonus to getting a pie for each of us." I say.

We eat the pie by the fire and sit in silence for a few minutes.

"So Finnick say anything when he found you?" She asks me.

I nod.

"He says he doesn't like to get close to people because of that whole deal with Snow." I roll my eyes.

"That doesn't make sense." She says.

"Apparently it has to do with having more people he can use against him."

"Okay that does make sense." She says.

"But, Snow is still controlling him, it's messing with his mind."

She puts down her pie plate and hugs me.I hear a knock at the door I look at Lana and she shrugs, we head to the door together. I open the door and see Finnick.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"I'm making a choice." He says.

I smile.

"You brought pie too." I say.

"Well that was in case you didn't want to let me in, I figured no one says no to free pie." He smiles.

"Oh, well Lana brought me some so your plan wouldn't have worked."

"I should be going though." She says and takes the rest of her pie. " Good Luck with your Victory Tour Annie." She hugs me. "Take care of her Finnick." She says looking at him.

"I will." He says.

She nods and then leaves.

"Come in." I tell him.

"You're house smells like the festival." He says confused.

"Well, Lana brought it into my house." I smile/

We sit down on the kitchen table.

"She's a good friend." He says.

"I'm not going to argue there." I say.

He smiles.

"Annie who was at the door?" I hear my mom ask.

"It was Finnick." I say and motion towards him.

"Oh, well I will just you leave you alone then." She smiles and I want to roll my eyes by how happy she is with this.

"No, Mrs. Cresta that isn't necessary I just wanted to drop a pie off for Annie in case she didn't get any."

"That was very thoughtful Finnick and I'm sure you two will talk more on her Victory Tour." She smiles.

"Yes I'm sure we will." He says eyeing me.

"I'll walk you out Finnick." I tell him.

He smiles.

"So, see you tomorrow?" I say.

He gets close to me and places a strand of hair behind my ear.

"See you tomorrow Annie." He says with his hand still on my cheek while looking deeply into my eyes.

He takes his hand off my face.

"You should get some rest, it might be the last good one you have until this Victory Tour is over." He says sadly.

I swallow hard "Okay." I say.

"Goodnight Annie." He says.

"Goodnight Finnick."

He stares at me for a minute as if waiting for something but, then leaves. I think Finnick is my... friend again which makes me happy but, his comment about not being able to sleep on the Victory Tour makes me feel queasy.

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I also want to remind you that in my story District 4 is set in New England and not somewhere is the south/west coast like most stories are. My sister and I always pictured it here because it made sense with the whole fishing thing and it being a wealthier District. I don't think there is an official map so I think it is up for you to decide and this is where I always thought it would be it doesn't really matter but, someone sent a message about the fall leaves so I thought I would mention it. Anyhoo thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you like it!  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Oh Annie you look marvelous." Aries says.

"Thanks." I say this time I have to agree with him I don't feel that ridiculous maybe because it is just casual clothes. Yule has me dressed in average clothes except they have a Capitol touch. I am wearing jeans but he has woven gold thread into them so it will shimmer and I am wearing a red sweater that in the top left corner has the deal of district 4 woven into it. I'm not even wearing ridiculous makeup just makeup that looks natural and will probably come off easy compared to the opening ceremony makeup. My hair is also pulled back in a pony tail which makes me feel comfortable.

"Annie you look so normal." My mother says surprised.

"Well, Mrs. Cresta I was aiming for simplicity here but, for District One, Two, and the Capitol it will be quite something." Yule smiles. I involuntarily groan which causes him to glare at me. I know I will be wearing clothes that are two sizes two small and lots of ridiculous makeup.

"Okay Annie it is almost time for your interview with Caesar that will kick off the Victory Tour!" Aries exclaims.

I go outside and see the cameras that will record my interview with Caesar.

I see Finnick, Mags, and Luna all sitting out there. Finnick comes towards me once I head outside.

"Am I supposed to do anything?" I ask him.

"Just answer the questions and smile. I don't think it will be very many because of what happened during your recaps." He smiles and places a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Finnick do not touch her! She was just picture perfect!" I hear Yule yells.

"Can't have one hair out of place." I mock.

"Exactly, see Annie understands." He says

Finnick goes back over with Luna and Mags.

They fix my hair even though Finnick didn't do anything and then Aries tells me to wait by the door.

"I will tell you when to walk." Aries says.

I nod. I get a tight feeling in my chest because of how nervous I am.

"Now, let's give it up for the Victor of the 70th Hunger Games a Miss. Annie Cresta!"

Aries shoves me and I walk in front of her.

"There she is!" Caesar exclaims.

It is a one way conversation I can't see him but, he and the rest of the Capitol can see me.

"So Annie how have you been since we saw you last?" He asks with glee.

"Everything has been wonderful." I say with a fake smile plastered on my face.

"Wonderful? Care to elaborate Annie?" He asks.

"Words can't describe it but, I am very thankful." I smile.

"I'm sure you are, well it was nice seeing you Annie. I can't wait to see you back in the Capitol! Good luck on the rest of your Victory Tour!" He says and then everything turns off.

"That was perfect Annie." Aries says.

"Well that is what I strive for." I say sarcastically.

"I know." He smiles. I wonder if people in the Capitol understand the concept if sarcasm.

"Everyone be ready in fifteen! That is when the train rolls out!" Aries yells and I can see everyone heading towards the train but, I don't I head back inside.

"Mom!" I shout.

"Annie good I was hoping I could see you one last time." She says and hugs me.

I don't say anything I just hold her tight. I can feel my eyes filling with tears.

"I don't want to leave." I whisper.

"I know but, you will be back here before you know it." She says and kisses my forehead.

I hold her tight for a few minutes.

"You should probably get going sweets, I don't want Aries to be mad at you. That wouldn't be a nice way to start off this long tour."

I smile and look up at her.

"Okay." I whisper.

She starts to walk me towards the door.

"And don't worry I'm sure Finnick will make you feel better." She smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Yeah." I say not fully believing it myself. He stopped talking to me for weeks and even though he did a nice gesture the other day it might not mean anything.

I walk out the door and those thoughts leave my mind because I see Finnick waiting outside for me.

"You ready?" He asks.

"Not really but, I have a train ride to brace myself." I smile.

"That's the spirit." He smiles "Come on you don't want Aries on your bad side this early, especially since he hates the start of the Victory Tour."

"Why is that?" I ask

"Because the celebrations are such a bleak affair." He says impersonating Aries.

"Why would he think that?" I ask.

"I think going there will explain it best." He says sadly.

"Is it bad Finnick?" I ask confused.

"All of the Districts have one aspect that is disturbing." He says and we reach the train.

We get on the train and I get a tight feeling in my chest. I am getting reminders of being here last time.

I start breathing quickly.

"You're okay Annie, just count to ten." I hear Finnick whisper to me. I close my eyes and do that and feel better.

"You okay?" He asks me.

"Fine." I whisper.

"Okay." He says and we head to the main car.

"Alright here they are, now let's go over the schedule. This will last a month because of the traveling aspect but, it is worth it Annie. They are all celebrating you." He says

"Yes they are." I say bluntly.

"Well, we have three days to work on that personality." Aries says.

I nod.

"Good." He says. We eat and then we head I sleep.

I head to my room and lie down on the bed. I toss and turn and think I won't be able to sleep, just like the first day last year.

I stand up and see there is water on the floor.

"What the?" I say confused.

I go to the bathroom and figure that is where it is coming from, probably a leak but, nothing is there. The water starts to rise though, it is up to my knees and keeps rising. I try and open the door but it won't budge, maybe the whole train is getting flooded.

It's up to my waist and I try to find a way to leave the room but it is no use. I'm trapped and I'm going to drown.

"Help! Help!" I say in a sob like shout.

The water is up to my neck now. I'm knocking on the door and screaming for help but no one comes. The water goes over my head and I know I will die here on a train. At least I will never have to go on my Victory Tour.

The door opens and all the water flows out. The person who opened the door comes over to me.

"Annie relax you're safe here."

I realize it is Finnick

"The water?" I ask.

"What?" Finnick asks confused.

"Where did it all go?" I say confused.

"Annie there's no water here." He says

"But I was just drowning. How else could I have gotten all wet?" I motion to myself.

"Annie look down." He says. I do and notice I'm not wet.

"But... no, it was real. It was real Finnick there was water everywhere. I was dying." I say.

"Annie, there was no water you imagined it."

"It felt real." I whisper.

"Come here." He takes my hand and leads me to the bed and I lean against his shoulder.

"What's wrong with me Finnick?" I ask.

"Nothing." He says and sweeps his hand across my face. "You should go to sleep, everything will be alright." He tells me.

I nod. He gets up to leave

"Finnick." I say.

"Yes?" He asks and walks back over here.

"Can you stay in here until I am asleep. I don't like to be alone after something like this happens." I say with my chin trembling.

"It would be my honor to do that Miss. Cresta." He smiles and sits in the chair next to the bed and holds my hand. I find sleep quickly and am greatful that Finnick is hear for me because I don't think I could do this alone.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello everyone while I was looking at my outline for this story I realized I messed up the order of the seasons for some reason. I thought it was summer spring fall winter instead of summer spring winter fall, whoops! So that is why it will be winter after the Victory Tour is over. You probably didn't care or even notice but, I wanted to say it because I felt like an idiot lol. Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter 17.**

The past three days on the train have been rather boring, the only thing we do is listen to Aries talk about the celebrations he loves the best. Finnick was right he didn't mention twelve, eleven, or ten at all. They are at the lower end of the spectrum. I am nervous to see the people from here, we will be rolling into District Twelve later today and I have a million knots in my chest.

Sleeping on this train has been the worst, I can't get a goods night rest. I keep thinking I am going to drown and when I close my eyes I see people getting murdered in front of me and blood splatter, sometimes I can't tell if I am having a nightmare or if it is really happening to me. It isn't helping that I am worried about visiting the other Districts. I zone out sometimes to escape reality it makes me feel better but, it makes everyone around me concerned.

I'm in the common room and I am sitting alone and keep picking at my cuticles. I think everyone else is in the dining car but, I'm not very hungry. We will be reaching District Twelve in a few hours, I'm suppose to talk about my speech but, I don't want to talk or think about it. Everyone else thinks it will be better to be prepared, I know they are right but, I keep thinking if I avoid it long enough it will just disappear.

I hear one of the doors open and my stomach tightens.

"There she is!" Aries beams.

"Here I am." I mutter.

"We all need to go over today's events, can you please join us in the dining car?" Aries asks me gently which catches me off guard.

"Um... y-yes." I stutter.

"Is something wrong Annie?" He asks me.

I am debating if I should tell him the truth. He is from the Capitol, I don't think I can be one hundred percent truthful.

"I'm just scared I don't do well with public speaking." I say. This isn't a lie, I don't like speaking in public.

"It will be alright Annie, myself and the rest of the mentors have already come up with what you are supposed to say." He tells me and rubs my shoulder.

"Thanks Aries." I tell him.

"For what?" He says confused.

"Just for being here." I say.

"Well, I enjoy being here." He says.

I smile and both of us head to the dining car. I take the open seat which happens to be next to Finnick.

"Are you okay?" He whispers to me.

"I guess." I say. I grab some toast and a mug and pour some tea. Finnick pushes the sugar cubes towards me, he knows I like sugar in my tea.

"Sugar cube?" He says putting on the fake charm he uses with the Capitol women. He picks one up and puts it between his teeth and raise his eyebrows seductively. He bites down causing the sugar to melt in his mouth.

I roll my eyes.

"That may work on Capitol girls but not on me Finnick Odair." I tease and grab three sugar cubes and plunk them into my tea.

"My apologizes Miss. Cresta." He says and makes a strange face.

"What?" I ask.

"Too sweet." He says and grabs a napkin to spit out the rest of the sugar that was in his mouth.

"That's what you get." I tease

Finnick smiles and looks into my eyes and I get lost for a minute.

"Ah hem." Aries clears his throat. Which causes both of us to snap back to reality.

We both turn to him smiling.

"Now, we will be in twelve in an hour but, first Annie do you have any questions?" He asks me.

"What am I supposed to say?" I ask.

"As I said out there we came up with something to say for you here." He says and hands me a card. I notice there is a twelve on the top left corner they must have one for each District. It reads

_District Twelve I thank you for your generosity for sharing this glorious celebration with you today. It really is an honor to be with you, the tributes from this District had such pride and courage in the games. They would be happy to celebrate with all of us and in a way they still are. We should all be grateful for the generosity of the Capitol for giving us this opportunity to all come together. Thank you. _

"Do I have to say that last line?" I ask a bit disgusted. I don't want to thank the Capitol. Victors say that almost every year and each year it makes me angry.

"The bit about thanking the Capitol is almost a requirement Annie." Mags tells me gently.

"But, I'm not grateful." I mutter.

"You should be Annie. After all that is why we are all here."

And the small amount of respect Aries he just earned has disappeared.

"Don't worry Annie, as a tip stare at the sky and not at the people or the family members." Luna says. "Especially in this District." She adds.

"Why _especially_ in this District." I say confused.

"You killed the male tribute from here Annie." Finnick tells me gently.

"Oh...I didn't even know his name." I say sounding disgusted with myself. My chest starts to tighten and my palms start to sweat.

I feel someone hold my hand and look up and see it is Finnick.

"It's okay Annie." He tells me. "You're going to be okay besides, I think your mind will be distracted enough just from District Twelve."

"What is that suppose to mean?" I ask.

"It's very different from Four." Mags says.

Aries laughs "That is the understatement of the century. Annie the people from District Twelve don't have it good. They all look unkempt and almost dying from starvation and have no mention. Not to mention the _smell_ and the coal dust that will wreak havoc on your clothes. I hope Yule didn't plan for a white outfit." Aries says with disdain.

"Oh." I say.

I pick at the rest of my toast and fold an unload my speaking card for the rest of the time. Yule calls me back and starts to get me ready and it isn't a white outfit. It's a blue almost black long sleeve dress and has silver specks on it. I am also wearing black tights and shiny black and white flats. I have a black ribbon in my hair that is tied in a bow. Yule didn't do much with my hair he used a hot iron to make my hair straighter even though it is naturally straight. The makeup was just a touch here and there like he said it is calm until the richer Districts.

"There all done." He says.

"Thanks." I say.

"We're here!" Aries says. He doesn't sound as chipper as he usually does though.

We slow and get off of the train station and Aries was right about the smell. It smells like what I imagine death would smell like. It is a mixture of the coal and a compost like smell. I look out and see that they have snow on the ground already but it is tinted grey probably from the coal dust. I don't feel cold, it is probably because I'm so nervous.

They have woods and everything looks a mess, the houses they have don't look safe to be in. Aries was also right about the citizens they all have long faces and their skin is sagging off of their bones. Most of them look malnourished, I never really noticed how the tributes looked from here. I guess that makes sense because no one seems to care about this place. I feel a tightness in my chest for this people. I feel sorry for them how can we have it so good and they have this. I wonder what the other Districts look like.

"Now Annie before your speech you get to meet the other victors. Here there is only one: Haymitch Abernathy." He says.

The man I get introduced to looks to he in his late forties early fifties. He has tangled unkempt hair and is wearing dirty clothes. He reeks of alcohol and his face is in a snarl and I don't see any smile lines on his face. He doesn't seem very welcoming, I feel a lump forming in my throat and can feel my hands sweating.

"H-hello." I stammer.

"Why hello victor Annie." He sneers. He sounds drunk, that would explain the strong smell of alcohol.

I smile awkwardly.

"So do you enjoy these events?" I say. I know the answer is no but, I don't want to sit in awkward silence.

"What do you think." He grumbles. I don't usually like sitting in silence but, I think that is better in this situation.

"Be nice Haymitch." Mags tells him and I feel relieved.

"My apologizes Miss. Cresta." He slurs and saunters off.

"It's okay Annie, he's like that with everyone." She reassures me.

"Oh good... I think."

She smiles.

That doesn't sound like a good response but, I'm assuming it has to do with his games.

"Alright Annie, you're on in five." Aries shouts. I start to grip my dress, the fabric is smooth, it is almost calming but, I can feel my eyes filling up with tears for some reason. I feel someone touch my hands and a tear escapes my eye.

"Don't worry Annie it will be alright." Finnick tells him.

"I'm scared." I whisper.

"It will be fine, just look out at the horizon don't look at the citizens and read this. He places the card in my hand that has three sentences on it. I clasp Finnick's hand it cause the paper to crumple but, I don't care. I can tell I'm shaking and probably have the deer in headlights look. I wrap my arms around Finnick and squeeze him tightly against me.

"It's okay Annie, you're alright." He whispers in my ear and rubs my back.

"I can't do this, I want to go home." I say. I know I have to do this and won't be going home for a month but, it feels better saying this.

Finnick pulls me off of him.

"You can do this, count to ten and let it all in and then but on that game face." He tells me like he did before I went into the arena. I do and it helps, not much but, I think I will be able to read three sentences off of a card.

Finnick squeezes my shoulder

"You're alright, remember look at the horizon." He tells me.

I nod.

"Annie come here!" Aries shouts.

"Good luck." Finnick says and winks at me.

"Now, introducing Victor Annie Cresta." The mayor says.

I walk out on stage to the microphone, I can tell I'm shaking again. I look out into the blue sky, I am avoiding the citizens faces but, I can feel their glares being burned into my skin.

I look down at the card they wrote out for me.

"H-hello District Twelve it is such an honor to be here with you today um... the tributes here had lots of courage and pride during the games they would be h-happy to be here celebrating with us today and we... and we..."

Here come the part where I have to say we are grateful for the Capitol. Mags said it was pretty much a requirement to say this but, I don't want to. I close my eyes

"And we should be very grateful for the Capitol for presenting us with this opportunity." I open my eyes and see the looks on the citizens faces they look angry. My eyes flicker to the back where the families are and I see the boy I killed, he was young probably only thirteen, he is the one I shot with the arrow. I can feel a lump forming in my throat and tears forming in my eyes.

_I killed you_ I think to myself.

Someone pats my shoulder and I see it is the mayor. He smiles at me and then does an outro and I walk into the Justice Building woodenly and that is the last thing I remember.

* * *

I look around and am confused by my surroundings, that last thing I remember was being in Districts' Twelve Justice Building but, now I'm in the common train car and Luna and Finnick are sitting across from me. Finnick is reading something and Luna is crocheting something.

"What happened?" I ask and both of their heads snap up.

"Annie good you're back." Luna says.

"Back?" I say confused.

"You've been sitting here for hours Annie, what's the last thing you remember?" Finnick asks me gently.

"Walking into the Justice Building then... I don't remember." I say confused.

"That does sound about right. Once you sat down in the Justice Building for your dinner celebration you were in a zombie like state. You didn't eat anything or say anything, we didn't think we would be able to get you back on the train but, Finnick managed to get you to walk onto the train. You didn't say anything and your eyes were glazed over. You plopped down on that couch and have been sitting here for." Luna looks to the clock "Four hours, everyone else went to bed around an hour ago. Finnick and I volunteered to stay awake until you came back to us." Luna tells me and smiles.

"Oh..." I say and start to feel dizzy. I put my hands over my face and start crying.

Finnick comes over to me.

"I'll leave you two alone, goodnight." I hear Luna say and hear the door open and close.

"It's alright Annie, you're safe here."

"I know." I say but, keep crying.

Finnick takes my hands away from my face and I look at him.

"You're okay." He tells me.

"Then why don't I feel okay? Why can't I remember the past four hours of my life?" I ask. "What's wrong with me." I whisper and start sobbing.

Finnick pulls me in for a hug. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest.

"Shhh, it's okay Annie. Nothing is wrong with you, you're fine."

I don't respond I just cry and hold Finnick close to me. I cry until my eyes can't produce anymore tears then I just grip Finnick tightly.

"You're okay Annie, do you want to go to sleep?" He asks me.

"No." I whisper.

"Why not?" He asks me and strokes my hair. He must know I'm tired.

"I'm too afraid to sleep. I always see them, I always see it." I say and start rocking back and forth remembering it.

"It's alright Annie." I hear Finnick whisper and am back in reality.

"I understand but, maybe you should lie down. It might make you feel better." He tells me gently and rubs my back.

"I don't want you to leave." I say the words before I can stop them from coming out of my mouth. I don't want to be alone and being with Finnick make we feel safe.

"I'm not going to leave you Annie. I won't leave you, not when you need me." He tells me seriously.

I back off of him and look into his eyes, they contain worry but, dedication also. He isn't lying he really isn't going to leave me. Finnick takes me to my room and I go to the bathroom to take off my dress. I look in the mirror and I look a mess. My eyes are red and puffy and have a starange look in them, and my makeup has slightly run off my eyes. I take all of it off and put of pajamas. I head back out and sit down on the bed and lean against the headboard. Finnick is sitting on the chair he probably doesn't want to sit in the same bed as me, it might overstep some boundary but, I don't care. I pat the space next to me.

"Finnick you can get in the bed with me." I say.

He smirks

"That's what all the girls tell me." He says.

I smile but, don't say anything I lean on his shoulder and he places his arms around me.

"You're okay Annie." He whispers in my ear.

I don't say anything I just listen to his breathing, this soothes me and I find sleep quickly.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

I wake up and notice Finnick isn't here he must have left once I was completely out. I don't blame him I think I would've done the same thing. I roll over and try to go back to sleep, the longer I sleep the longer I won't have to think about District Eleven. It is four days away and Aries says the weather is better there. I don't care about the weather I just care about the people who I will have to look at.

I hear the door open and turn to it, I see it is Finnick and he is holding an apple.

"Oh, sorry did I wake you up?" He asks.

"No, you don't have to check on me." I tell him.

"I know I don't have to I _want _to." He smiles and sits on the edge of the bed.

"When did you leave?" I ask him.

"What do you mean?" He asks confused.

"The room, you weren't here when I woke up."

"Oh, I got up to shower and eat something." He says and holds up the apple with a smile.

"You stayed here all night?" I say surprised.

"You said you didn't want me to leave. Should I have left? Do you want me to leave now?" He asks concerned.

"No, you don't have to leave. I just assumed..." I trail off.

"I said I wouldn't leave when you needed me. You said you needed me." He smiles.

I can feel myself blushing.

"Thanks." I say and don't meet his eyes because I'm afraid I will get lost in them.

"No problem." He smiles.

"So what's it like?" I ask.

"What? District Eleven?" He asks confused

"No... I..." I don't know what I was going to ask him.

"Then what is it Annie?" He asks.

"I don't know." I say confused.

"Okay." He says and looks at me strangely.

"What is District Eleven like though?"

"Big, hot, lots of people... lots of peacekeepers also." He says with no emotion.

"Oh." Is all I can muster.

"It will be okay, you have two more days to mentally prepare yourself."

"I don't want to do that. I just want avoid it."

"Annie you can't avoid it forever." He tells me gently.

I sit up and scoot next to him, he smiles and I lean against his shoulder.

"Finnick." I say and swallow hard. I think I can muster up enough courage to tell him I like him.

"What?"

"I-

I hear a knock on my door.

"Annie, we need to go over the schedule and I know you're awake because I can hear you talking with Finnick." Aries says.

"Why do we need a schedule when we won't be there for two days?" I ask Finnick.

"It's not just the schedule he is trying to get you to be more comfortable in front of large crowds." Finnick says

"How can he do that when we are in a moving train?" I ask confused.

"With some Capitol device." He smirks.

"Ah yes those." I smile. "I should probably get dressed." I say.

He nods to get up and leave.

"Annie." He turns around.

"Yes?" I ask confused.

"Did you want to tell me something?" He asks.

"No, nothing." I lie. The moment has passed and it doesn't feel right anymore. Aries would just hurry me out of here anyways not giving him enough reaction time. Maybe I shouldn't tell him on the train, if he doesn't like what I'm going to tell him the rest of the Victory Tour will be awkward and uncomfortable.

He nods and leaves the room.

I take an abnormally long shower to avoid whatever Aries wants to do with me, by the time I get out my hands are all pruney. I get dressed and pick soft knit shorts and a loose black tank top. I get up and head to the dining car, Aries is surprisingly in there opposed to the main car.

I get bacon, eggs, and orange juice for breakfast, I didn't eat anything last night so I am hungrier than usual. I see Aries sitting at the table sipping his coffee and reading what looks to be a newspaper.

"Good Annie you are ready, now yesterday didn't go as well as planned so I figured we could practice." He reaches in a file for something. "Here is the card for District Eleven." He says and hands to me.

I look down and notice it is pretty much the same thing but, is phrased differently. I don't think it will matter how I say it, as long as I make sure to thank the Capitol.

"Thanks." I say with a smile.

"Well, your performance yesterday was not... up to par. I think it was because you were nervous so, I came up with a little test run that can help you." He tells me.

"O-okay and how will we be doing this?" I ask confused.

"Come out to the common room when you are finished."

I eat the rest of my breakfast slowly, I probably chew every bite fifty times. I sigh and get up and head to the common room when I do I see Aries has something projected in the area. It reminds me of some of the things that were in the training center.

"What's this?" I ask confused.

"This will be a projection of what to expect in District Eleven, now stand here so the motion censors can pick you up." He pushes me to a spot right in front of the screen and it starts to light up. I see a Justice Building that the has the Eleven seal on it. I don't see much else except the large crowd, most of the people have scowls on their faces. I feel nervous even though this is just a projection of what the District will look like but, I still have an unsettling feeling in my stomach.

"Now, read off the card Annie." Aries tells me.

"H-hello D-district Eleven it is nice to be here to today for this celebration. I'm sure the tributes from this District would like to be here as well and in a way they are, they would want to celebrate my victory- _my victory_ really Aries?" I ask annoyed.

"You did win and I'm sure they would want to celebrate for you." He smiles completely clueless.

I sigh.

"Do you not like it because you could come up with something on your own but, I will want to approve it." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"I will stick to it but, it may not be exactly what is written on the card." I mutter.

"Well, as long as you keep the same idea I suppose that will be alright." He says slightly offended.

I keep doing this and it isn't really helping, I think Aries gives up when he tells me to stop. Tomorrow he says we might be working on my posture while speaking, apparently I slouch. He said we should figure this out before we get to the important District, I couldn't care less and I don't think anyone else will care except District One, Two, and the Capitol.

I head to the dining car to get some lunch but, really I think it is just something to do.

I see Mags sitting at the table as well.

"Hello." I tell her.

"Hello Annie, how is it going with Aries?" She asks me with a smile. I think she knows it is useless too.

"Fine I think he's given up for today." I say

"Well, that's good." She smiles

"Tomorrow we have to work on my posture." I impersonate Aries.

She smiles and I can hear her chuckle softly.

The door slides open and Finnick comes to the table. He pulls the chair out vigorously and slouches in it.

"Is everything alright Finnick?" Mags asks him gently.

"It's..." He trails off.

"Why don't we head to my room." Mags tells him.

They get up and leave, Finnick looked upset I wonder what was wrong. Mags clearly knew he wouldn't want to discuss this with me.

I get served lunch and it is a sandwich, an orange, and I take a glass of milk. I sit and eat alone after I am finished I head to my room to avoid everyone. I sit here for a few hours and then I hear a slight tap on my door. It isn't time for dinner yet, I hope it isn't Aries wanting to talk with me. I get up and open the door and see it is Finnick he looks better from earlier.

"Hi." I say to him.

"Hi." He says to me.

We just stand here for a few minutes looking at each other.

"Is there something you wanted?" I ask confused.

"Uh.. oh I wanted to see how your session went with Aries." He tries to sound serious but, can't keep his composure.

"It wasn't helpful and tomorrow I have to work on my _posture_." I smile and so does he at my mocking tone.

"You're pretty good at that, maybe that should be your talent." He smirks.

"Oh right that." I mutter.

"I saw your sketches they are pretty good." He says.

I roll my eyes. I chose drawing because that is the only thing that I could do that Aries acknowledged as a talent.

"Thanks but, you don't have to lie." I say.

"Don't downgrade yourself Annie, most of them are getting sold by Capitol citizens, they want you to do more." He says.

"Is that why you came to see me?" I ask.

"Well, yes and I wanted to see if you were alright after spending so much time with Aries."

"Oh, he wasn't as bad as he could've been."

"That's good. Here." He places a sketch book in my hands.

"Oh, I don't think-

"President Snow wants you to make more, apparently lots of Capitol citizens want an Annie Cresta original before people try and steal your signature." He smiles.

"I'm drawing landscapes, I don't think anyone can steal that signature. I think it has been done since the dawn of time."

He shrugs.

"I'm not art buff." He smiles.

"Do you have pencils or anything?" I ask him.

"Oh um..

"How am I supposed to draw something without any utensils?" I ask.

"Oh um, follow me." He grabs my hand and starts to pull me down the train halls.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask.

"You'll see." He says.

We stop at the end of the hallway in front of a machine.

"You brought me to a machine?" I ask confused.

"Just watch." He waves his hand over it and a menu comes up. "You can order anything you want." He presses the art button and a list comes up.

I scroll through it and see all kinds of fancy things that I would never be able to get my hands on in District Four.

"Ooo Charcoal. I have always wanted to draw with it but, they don't have it in District Four."

"Well, go crazy Cresta." Finnick teases me.

"I think I will and this gives me an idea as well." I order black charcoal, color charcoal, and the spray so it will stick. I also get colored pencils, regular pencils, thin and thick markers, and a larger sketch book.

"Now what?" I ask once I've selected everything.

Finnick presses some buttons and they start to come out of the machine.

"Woah cool. Where is it coming from?"

"The Capitol, I'm not sure how it works but you got what you needed." Finnick smiles.

We head back to my room and lay all the supplies out on the floor.

I know what I'm going to draw and I want to do it while it is still fresh in my mind.

"What are you going I draw?" He asks me.

"District Twelve and it will be even better with the charcoal." I smile.

Finnick watches me draw until I have finished, it has probably been a few hours.

"Is it time for the big reveal?" He asks.

"Tada." I say and show it to him "It isn't very good though." I say.

"Annie this could be a picture I see you left out the people though."

"I didn't want to remember their stares."

I drew my view from the Justice Building but not the people.

"You need more than this though."

"Wouldn't it be worth more if I had less drawings?"

"Well yes but that is why they can price them so high." He says

"Oh." I say.

"You should do two a day if you can." He says

"I will try." I look at Finnick and think of something.

"How much money do you think they would pay for a picture of Finnick Odair?" I say.

"Depending on how good it is a lot."

"That's what I was thinking, that way they can always see your pretty face." I tease.

"You're going to draw me?"

"Unless you have something better to do." I say.

"Not really." He says.

"Okay a portrait of Finnick Odair it is."I smile.

"Okay where do you want me Miss."

"It doesn't matter." I say. "But first I should wash my hands." I hold up my hands which are covered in charcoal.

"Yes don't want to smudge my pretty face." He teases.

"Oh no." I say sarcastically and smile.

"Yes." I say.

I press my hands on his face and the smear the charcoal on his cheeks.

"Ooo I actually like this it will make the picture more... abstract."

"Is that why you did this?"

"No but, it is a good excuse though." I smile.

I wash my hands and start to draw Finnick.

"So what happened earlier?" I ask him.

"What do you mean?" He asks confused.

"At lunch you-

"Oh that." He says annoyed

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked." I say and look at the sketch to avoid his gaze.

"No it's was just that marvelous Uncle of mine." He says and shakes his head.

"Oh, what's his deal?" I ask

"Well he says it is because of the my parents dying but he never liked me." He says.

"What makes you say that?" I ask him with disbelief.

"Because he has told me before. He thinks I ruined his sisters life or something." He rolls his eyes. "Me 'killing' them sealed the deal." He says.

"Does he hate Jason and Marci then?"

"No." He scoffs.

"Oh."

I'm sure there is a reason for this but I feel like I shouldn't ask. We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"They weren't married." Finnick says abruptly.

"What?" I say confused.

"My parents weren't married when I was born. They got married later when I was around one. My mom said she wanted to get married because she wanted to not because she had to."

"Smart, you shouldn't do something you don't want. No matter what people might say." I say.

He smiles.

"She was smart and independent but Michael couldn't see that. He also wasn't too keen on my Dad he hated him for some reason. I think it was because he thought she deserved better or something." He rolls his eyes. "But that doesn't matter, they loved each other and you can't help who you fall in love with." He says and smiles at me and I can feel myself blushing again.

"There, all done." I say.

He looks at me confused and then I show him the drawing.

"It looks like a picture." He says in disbelief.

"That's the point, I think I should still work on these tomorrow they need to be touched up."

"Well they look fine to me." I say.

"Well you are not the artist." I say.

A train attendant knocks on the door and says dinner is ready. We walk to dinner and eat. The whole time I am smiling at Finnick because he still has the charcoal on his face.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"Alright everyone we will be in Eleven in an hour, Annie I think it's time for you to get ready." Aries instructs.

I sigh and get taken to Yule so he can show me my outfit.

The outfit is a staples floral print sundress that has a sweat heart neck line, he also has pink sandals for me to wear.

"Won't I be freezing in this?" I ask him confused.

"No, the weather here is different because it is in a different part of the country, it is almost never cold here." He says curtly. "Put that on and Dean and Diana will come to do your hair and makeup." He says and walks out the door. I must need more done to me if Dean and Diana are going to be doing something. I haven't seen them since we got on the train. I wonder where they are hiding, surely they have to come out and eat.

I put on the dress and it fits me like and glove and is surprisingly comfortable.

Dean and Diana come in Diana starts warming up a curling iron and Dean is starting to get makeup out of the bag.

"Is it a lot of work?" I ask them.

Diana rolls her eyes.

"No." She says.

"It's just a bit more than it was for Twelve. The longer the Victory Tour the more the prep work." Dean says nicely.

It still shocks me by how different they are. I wonder how they can work so close to each other.

By the time they are done my hair is in bouncy curls and I have flower like gems throughout my hair. My makeup isn't dramatic, my cheeks are a bright pink and they put sparkly eye shadow, mascara, and eyeliner on me.

Yule comes in to look to make sure I look good enough. He places his hand on my shoulder and then walks out.

"Is that good or bad?" I ask turning to Dean.

"He likes it Annie." He smiles.

I nod. I'm sure he would know and he has no reason to lie to me.

I walk out into the common room and can see everyone waiting for me.

"Annie you look wonderful!" Aries exclaims.

"Thank you." I tell him. I don't feel like a complete idiot so that is something.

I can feel the train start to slow and know we have reached our detestation Aries ushers us out onto the train platform. When I get outside I am surprised by how warm it is. It was snowy in Twelve and here it is probably eighty degrees. I look out and see a clear blue sky, and lots of fields of wheat and other plants, I am not familiar with. I can see people working in the fields and in every section there are many peackeepers. I also notice that they have a large fence that outlines the whole District. On the fence there are peacekeepers up above and they have guns pointing at the workers.

I swallow hard, why would they do this to people here, I wonder if something happened.

"Don't worry nothing will happen to you." I hear Finnick say.

"To us maybe." I say. I know he citizens from here can't have that guarantee.

Finnick doesn't say anything, we get taken to the Justice Building and the mayor is there already, we shake hands and he offers his congratulations. I nod but, don't say anything. I don't think I would be able to contain my disgust anyways.

I get taken to two large doors and I know when they open it will lead me to the stage where I have to say my little speech. I swallow hard at the thought already. I didn't kill anyone from here but, I know the citizens won't want to see me, even if I did spend most of my time in the arena crying they would rather want the people from their home to be up here.

"Take this." Aries says and shoves the speech card into my hand and before I know it I am being pushed outside on to the stage. I am surprised by how many people are in the square it is almost jam packed. I know from the size of this District this can't be everyone because District 4 is a rather large District. On reaping day the only people allowed to be in front of the Justice Building are the eligible tributes. Everyone else watches on the televised screens because their isn't enough room, I have a feeling it is the same here. For our Victory Tour they pick a part of the District and have them go to the Justice Building to see the new victor. That is what I'm thinking is happening here, although the people in Four have better living conditions and we don't look starving like these poor souls.

I walk to the microphone and clear my throat.

"Hello District Eleven, I would like to thank you for having me here today. I know the tributes from here would want to celebrate with us as well, they fought hard in the games and were courageous and I have the utmost respect for them because of this. I think we are all grateful for the Capitol for bringing us all together so we can share my victory _our _victory together." I say with no emotion in my voice. I memorized it this time so I could just focus my eyes else wear and not have to worry about looking up from the card to see all of them glaring at me. The mayor soon makes his outro and then I get taken back into the Justice Building.

We are ushered to a banquet hall to have the dinner celebration, I wasn't really conscious for this last time. I get seated at the head of the table and the other people who came with me sit around me, then everyone else is the important people from District Eleven. I don't know if I'm supposed to do anything so I just sit and push my food around, I don't know what I'm eating but, it tastes good.

People come up to talk to me but, I just nod and smile because I don't know what to say. The people here don't seem to hate me, maybe they are just good at hiding it or maybe they like me because I only killed two people and sat in the dark for almost the whole time.

We stay here for a few hours and then head back to the train, I just head to my room. I don't want Aries to tell me how wonderful I was or hear him complaining about how dull the celebration was. I just want to be alone and go to sleep.

I toss and turn but, sleep can't find me again. I get up off of the bed and decide to just head out to the common room. When I leave there is a strange lighting in the room it is almost tinted a red color. I don't question it, I haven't been awake on this train at this hour before. I start walking down the hallway and shivers run up and down my spine. One of the rooms door flys open and on the inside of the room I see someone tied down to a chair and screaming. I don't want to go in there so I just end up running away. I sit down on the couch trying to erase that memory from my mind. I hear someone whispering my name it is faint and the voice sounds familiar.

I get up and try to find the person searching for me. I get to the bar car and see them sitting there on the settee.

"Annie." I hear Dan say.

"What are you doing here?" I ask confused "You're...

"Dead." He snarls.

"Yes." I whisper and avoid his gaze.

"Don't worry you didn't kill me." He smiles.

'Oh... kay?" I say confused.

"I mean you didn't do this to me" He says and pulls off my head and throws it at me. I catch it in my hands his body falls to the ground and his blood and guts starts to fall out everywhere including on me.

"Annie, Annie." I hear someone say frantically. "Annie, wake up! Wake up!" I hear them shout.

I bolt up and I am shaking, I'm so terrified that I just hug the person who woke me up. I don't know who it is, maybe just a train attendant doing the rounds but, I don't care. I start sobbing hysterically and am getting my tears all over their shirt.

"It's okay Annie, it wasn't real." I'm too terrified to respond. I think Finnick is the person talking to me.

He holds me in his arms and makes shushing noises and strokes my hair. I finally stop crying and my eyes hurt and they want to close but, I'm too terrified to let that happen.

"I'm scared." I whisper.

"It's okay nothing is going to happen to you. It wasn't real."

"It felt real, I could feel his hot blood all over me." I say and start shaking.

"Whose blood?" Finnick asks me.

I just start crying.

"It's alright it doesn't matter." He tells me and strokes my hair.

"You're alright, it's okay." He tells me again.

"No, it's not." I whimper.

"Annie." He tells me.

I look up at him.

"You're alright, you were alright today in District Eleven as well. You're fine and we only have ten more stops, then it is back to District 4." He tells me gently.

"Finnick?" I sniffle.

"What?" He asks.

"They don't torture people on this train do they?" I ask.

"No, why would you ask that?" He asks me confused.

"I was walking down the hallway and saw someone or at least I think I was walking down the hallway... it could've been my nightmare." I start to feel dizzy and almost want to throw up.

"That didn't happen Annie it wasn't real, it was just a nightmare." He tells me gently.

I flop back down on the pillows by how dizzy I feel.

"Annie?" Finnick asks worried.

"I just... I don't feel good." I say.

"It's okay, let me get you some water." He tells me. He goes to the bathroom and comes out a few seconds later and hands me a glass of water. I take it but, my hands are shaking so badly that the water is spilling out of the glass and getting all over the sheets. Finnick takes it from my hand and places it on the night stand. I wouldn't have been able to drink it anyways. I lay on the bed and turn on my side, I expect Finnick to leave but, instead he lies next to me and keeps stroking my hair and telling me it will be alright. Tears dribble out of my eyes and fall onto the pillow and they keeping falling out even when my eyes are closed but, I eventually find sleep again.

* * *

I wake up and can feel someones arm around me I roll over and see it belongs to Finnick. I vaguely remember him coming in here last night to comfort me, I'm glad he didn't leave, I turn and careful not to wake him. I am inches an inches away from his face. He looks very peaceful and younger somehow. I wonder what he is dreaming about by the looks of it, it is something nice. I wish I could have peaceful sleeps like that, I doubt that will ever happen again.

I move slightly and Finnick's eyes blot open and he looks almost frightened, he looks around and realizes he is in the bed with him.

"Oh... Annie." He says and looks at his arm around me. "Sorry." He says and takes his arm off of me.

"It's okay." I smile at him. "I think I should be saying that to you."

"Why?" He looks at me confused.

"Because of the screaming, the crying." I say unable to meet his gaze.

He pulls my chin up to make me look at him.

"It's alright Annie." He says and rubs my back. "It doesn't matter, I don't care. You're stuck with me for the rest of your life remember." He smiles.

"I wouldn't say I'm stuck with you." I look at him and smile, he smiles back at me.

"You're right." He smiles.

I hug him and he wraps his arms around me I can feel his chest rising and falling and have that safe feeling again. I don't know what to say so I just stay here hugging him, I don't know for how long and don't care either. I get a strange feeling that he doesn't care either, that he wants me here.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

The rest of the Victory Tour has flown by and before I know it we are on the final train ride to the Capitol. I have been fine at the speaking part but, in the nighttime I am never alright, I always wake up screaming and Finnick usually ends up staying with me all night. I feel slightly embarrassed that someone needs to stay the night with me. The last time that happened was when I was seven and bad storms kept me awake, my parents would stay in the room with me until I was asleep. They would stroke my hair and tell me they loved me and that everything would be alright. It was a simpler time back then but, the safe feeling I had with them is the same thing I feel with Finnick. I swallow hard at what I think that might mean but, I can't think of that now.

I head out to the dining car to eat something.

"Annie good you're awake. I was getting worried that I would have to wake you." Aries says

"Well, here I am." I say.

I have been awake for hours sitting in the bed and leaning against Finnick crying. He left when I said I was alright but, I stayed in the room by myself for two hours. I think I am being a burden to Finnick but, I don't think I could've done this Victory Tour without him.

"Good once you are finished you will be seeing Diana and Dean, you have lots of work cut out for you today because the Capitol celebration is finally upon us." Aries says and his eyes are gleaming with excitement. I have a feeling after his breakfast he will be getting ready in the appropriate attire as well. Throughout the Victory Tour his hair has gotten lighter it is now a light teal opposed to the dark evergreen it was before.

I eat breakfast slowly and then head to the room that Diana and Dean will be, when I get in the room I see a ton of makeup sprawled out on the floor.

"Good god." Diana says when I enter the room.

"I'm sorry?" I say confused.

"Honestly Annie look at your appearance. Unkempt hair, dark circles under her eyes, and your eyes are bloodshot. You are supposed to be keeping yourself in tip top shape so you can shine like the star you are." Diana says annoyed.

"Don't worry Annie we can make you look even better than you do now." Dean says and winks at me.

I smile.

They start brushing my hair and putting various things in it. I can feel Diana tugging on it roughly and I don't think it is an accident. Dean is grabbing all sorts of makeup from the floor and putting it all over my face. I pick at spot on the wall and stare at it so I can ignore them and try to clear my thoughts.

I hear a door open and jump

"Annie!" Diana yells at me.

"What?" I say confused.

"You messed up the makeup by moving, I have to do this eye all over again." She says annoyed.

I roll my eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me Annie." She scolds

"It's fine Diana. She was just startled by Finnick coming in the room, it won't take long to redo it anyways." He smiles at me. I must say I like him a lot more.

"Finnick what are you doing here?" I ask.

"I wanted to see how it was coming, you've been in here for a while and I was confused by that." He says

"And why would you be confused by that." Diana asks annoyed.

"Because Annie is already pretty enough." He smiles.

"Isn't t that sweet Annie." Dean says.

"Yes, it is." I say and can feel myself blushing.

Diana sighs.

"Get out Finnick, you are making her blush and it is messing up her skin tone which means it will mess up her makeup." Diana snarls.

"My apologizes, I might check in later though."

"Just don't startle her again." Diana says.

Finnick smiles and pauses before he leaves and mouths 'Are you okay?'

I nod slightly, he smiles then walks out the door. It is probably two more hours before they have finished.

"There all done." Dean says. "Yule will be coming in with the dress shortly." He smiles and leaves the room while Diana sneers and shakes her head.

I sit in the room for a minute and then Yule comes in.

"Good they did a marvelous job." Yule says impressed. "Here." He says and gives me an outfit

"Now, you will need help getting into this because of the corset so disrobe when you are ready." Yule tells me.

I strip down to my underwear and slip the dress on. The outfit is a short blue dress that comes up to my mid thigh, the top is a see through corset with crystals on it. I see the shoes are silver high heels which will make walking interesting. I'm just hoping I can avoid people for most of the night.

Yule stands behind me and starts to lace the corset, he pulls very hard.

"This hurts."

"Beauty is pain." He says

"I don't think I will be able breathe."

"Well at least you will make a pretty corpse." He teases but I don't like it. By the time he finishes I can barely breathe and feel like I am drowning.

I look to the mirror to see how I look. The dress makes my waist seem very small and pushes my breasts up. I think about Snows deal and shiver because showing this much skin won't be helping me.

My hair is in an elaborate spiral braid that has crystals and blue flower woven into it. The braid is so tight I can feel my scalp getting sore makeup is just as ridiculous I look like an ice queen. I have crystals on my face and at the end of my false lashes which are blue. My lips and eyelids are a slight shimmery blue and my cheeks have a powder white blush on them.

I feel like an idiot but that means the Capitol citizens will love it. At this point though I don't think that is a good thing, I think that might seal a certain deal that has been haunting me for awhile.

"Don't forget the heels." Yule says and places them on my feet.

"Great I can't walk or breathe." I mutter.

"Well, try." He says and storms out.

I wobble out to the common room.

"Annie! You look so beautiful." Aries says.

"Thank you." I say.

Aries looks as ridiculous as I do he has crazy makeup on his face, it looks like someone splattered teal, blue, and white paint on his face. He is wearing an interesting tailor made suit that has very dramatic angles.

I am envious of Mags, Luna, and Finnick because they are wearing normal clothes. They were clearly made in the Capitol but, they don't look like complete idiots.

Finnick walks over to me.

"Here." He says offering his hand.

I look at it strangely.

"It looks like you will need help walking." He smiles.

"Thanks." I say.

"No problem." He whispers

"Do you have to see people?" I ask him.

"No, I'm here for you. However, I don't think that will stop people from wanting to dance with me." He smiles.

"There's dancing?" I groan.

"Yes, this is a party Annie." He smiles

"I can't dance especially in these shoes."

"Just take them off then."

"Is that allowed?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" He looks at me.

I smile.

The train slows and we exit the train station and there are tons of people waiting for our arrival. I ignore all of their screams and shouts and just get in the car that will take us to Snow's mansion.

We get to Snow's mansion and there are tons of people here, I think anyone who is important is here. There are also lots of colorful lights, many tables of food, a dance floor, confetti flying, and small fireworks going off.

Aries escorts us into the house and then leads us to the main party spot which is near the food tables and the dance floor. Finnick is holding my hand helping me walk through this madness but, I still wobble and almost topple over. I don't understand how Capitol citizens can walk and wear these things when they are so uncomfortable.

We get to the food table and I start grabbing things to eat because I haven't eaten all day and because it gives me an excuse to not dance with someone. Like Finnick said people dragged him away after we were here for ten minutes. I don't think he is allowed to say no to them, because I think he would rather be here with me.

I sit and stare and look at all of the people here having fun, they all have no grasp on reality. After everything I saw on this Victory Tour I never knew how good District Four had it. I knew we had it better than most Districts already but, I didn't know it was that bad.

I spot President Snow sitting on a balcony watching this glorious event take place, I get a shiver when I look at him. I see him whisper something to one of the guards next to him and he motions into the crowd.

A few minutes later the same person comes and is in front of me.

"Victor Annie, President Snow wishes to see you." He tells me.

"O-okay." I say. I slip off my shoes and give them to him.

"Hold these for now okay." I say.

"Of course Miss." He smiles. He leads me up a staircase and into President Snow's house. I get escorted to a room that is right outside from the balcony, I can see President Snow sitting in one of the chairs.

The guard leaves me so it is just him and I.

"Sit please Miss. Cresta." He tells me.

I do as I am told.

"So Miss Cresta how are you enjoying your celebration?"

"I-It's very festive." I say. I have a queasy feeling in my stomach about this.

"Yes well we do like these events." He smiles. "And lots of Capitol citizens like you Miss Cresta." He smiles crookedly.

I gulp. Looks like my fate is the same as Finnick's.

"That's nice." I say.

"Yes, now usually I would ask if you would want to spend some alone time with them but… you seem to be know to have lots of… outburst."

"I… I guess." I say. I wonder who told him this, maybe the train attendants

"I know the citizens here would want to see you before the next games but with your... outbursts it might be difficult to do. So there is going to be a time frame between now and then to see if people still want you after the Victory Tour ends. If you get your act together you can expect a call from me." He smiles at me.

"Oh." Is all I can muster. I know that he is talking about the deal that he has on Finnick. I don't want that but, to me it sounds like he doesn't think it will happen because of my _outbursts. _But just knowing he is considering this makes me feel sick.

"Well, I just thought I would tell you this Miss Cresta but, for now I think we should get back to your celebration."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea." I say.

I get escorted back downstairs and am given back my shoes. I don't bother putting them back on. I have a tight feeling in my chest and can't tell if it is the dress or the fear of what might happen to me. I can feel my eyes filling with tears just at the thought.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and jump. I turn around slowly and a tear escapes my eye.

"Annie?" Finnick says concerned.

Looking at him makes me want to cry more because I could be staring at my future. The girl who is beloved by the Capitol and gets any man she wants.

I turn around and walk away not wanting to talk with him because I know I will end up crying and I don't want that not now but, Finnick chases after me.

"Annie what is it, what did Snow want?" He asks but, I don't stop.

"Annie." He says and grabs my shoulder and turns me around.

"Why don't we dance?" He says gently.

"O-okay." I say confused.

He takes my hand and we head to the dance floor for the first few minutes he is just holding me close and I start to feel calm again.

"What did he want Annie?" He says but it sounds like he already knows.

"You already know, I might end up like you." I whisper and pull him closer to me and let my tears get on his shirt. I don't think anyone around us can tell I'm crying. I'm not doing it very loud and the commotion of the party is covering most of it.

"Shhh it's okay Annie." He says in a gentle tone and strokes my back. "We're going to be home soon."

"What does it matter that won't stop him from making up his mind. He could turn me into a product instead of a person in a blink of an eye, everyone will say there goes Annie Cresta the girl beloved by the Capitol." I say and more tears fall out of my eyes.

"It's alright Annie, it doesn't matter what happens you will still be alright." He pauses. "It's not an ideal life but, it could be worse." He tells me.

It doesn't seem like something could be worse then getting bought like something at an auction but, I'm sure he is right. After seeing the other Districts I think sleeping around with Capitol citizens is very lush compared to getting tortured by peacekeepers and dying from starvation.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Lana is coming over later so we can talk about everything that has happened to her while I was on my Victory Tour.

I hear a knock on the door and am surprised with how quickly she has gotten here. I open the door but instead of Lana I see Finnick.

"Hi Annie." He says

Finnick has come back to visiting me everyday and it is usually more than a few minutes.

"Hi." I smile. He comes in and sits on the couch next to the fire.

We stare at fire and don't say anything for a bit just lost in the daze of the flames.

"You good today?" He asks me his eyes not leaving the fire.

"Yeah but I keep thinking about it." I say.

"Don't worry Annie you probably won't hear from Snow until the 71st Hunger Games."

"Gee so in a few months I will he able to know if I will be entrapped and that my loved ones are being threatened 24/7."

"It's okay Annie."

"You lie." I say in a mocking tone.

He smiles and rips something off and throws it in the fire and it starts to float out of the fire place and into the living area.

"Hey don't burn down my house you pyro." I tease.

"Sorry but doesn't it look pretty." He says

I nod and look at him sideways and smile at him.I lean my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me.

"I like it when you come here." I whisper.

"I know." He says in a tone that sounds strange. He stands up quickly causing me to fall on the couch.

"Finnick?" I ask confused.

"Sorry I have to go." He says

"Where?"

"I uh…"

"Did I say something wrong Finnick?" I ask confused.

"No I just have to go, bye." He says and hurries out the door.

I sigh.

A few minutes Lana is here.

"Hey!" She says.

"Hey." I say.

"Look what I brought!" She says and holds up a two hugs of apple cider.

"Apple cider?" I say confused.

"Not just any apple cider Annie, hard apple cider."

"Oooo well aren't we fancy." I smile.

"C'mon lets sit by the fire and drink it."

I nod and we head to the fireplace.

"So what's with the face?" She asks taking a sip of cider.

"What face?"

"You have confused Annie face, what happened?"

"Before you were here Finnick came over to see me."

"He does that everyday day, what's the problem?" She asks confused.

"Well we were sitting on the couch and talking and I leaned my head against his shoulder and told him I liked when he came here. He then got up fast and practically ran out the door."

"Interesting." She says

"I know, what do you think it means?" I ask.

She smiles at me but, she looks sad.

"I think he is trying to tell you he doesn't like you, as in not the way you like him."

"So leaning my head against his shoulder is code for I like you?" I ask confused.

"I don't know how is mind works."

"Well I wish he would just tell me so I could stop wondering." I mutter.

"Well it doesn't look like that is the case." She says and pours me more cider.

"I'm also worried about me turning out like him because of Snow's deal." I say.

"What was he like when he told you?" She asks in a hushed tone.

"Who Finnick?" I ask confused.

"No, President Snow." She says

"Strange he doesn't look very threatening but, I know he could kill everyone I care about in the blink of an eye."

"Oh." She says

"Yeah so, you do anything while I was on my Victory Tour?" I ask changing the subject. I don't want to be reminded of Snow or his deal.

She looks down at the table and starts to pick her cuticles.

"What is it Lana?"

"I think I'm dating Jason." She whispers

"Wait what? What do you mean _think_ and I thought you didn't like him." I say confused and excited.

"Well I lied okay." She mutters but, I can see her blushing.

"Well what makes you think that you are dating?" I ask

"Well nothing official has been said but, the other day he kissed me Annie."

"You say slightly insulted that he did this." I say confused.

"I'm not it's just...

"You don't like him." I say.

"No it's not that it's..."

"What?"

"Well I know you like Finnck and all and I didn't want it to be weird."

I roll my eyes.

"He isn't Finnick."

"But that's his brother it's weird."

"It's only weird because you're making it weird." I say.

"There's something else though."

"What?"

"I don't know how to do this." She whispers.

"Do what?"

"Be in a relationship, I'm the casual girl I don't have relationships."

"I know. Why is that anyways?"

"I won't be able to get hurt." She says.

"Well you have to take the leap of faith I guess. I don't really know anything about Jason because I have never really had a conversation with him but, I'm sure he is nice."

"Better than nice." She smiles.

"Well there you go, you should talk about this with him not me."

"Don't worry I will."

We sit staring at the fire and I end up drinking more cider than I should have because before I know it my words are starting to slur.

"I mean why does Finnick think he is so great." I say.

"Annie I think you've had too much to drink."

"Does he not like me because he thinks I'm below him?" I ask.

I hear the door open and know it is my mother.

"Hello." She says when she see us.

"Hi mom!" I exclaim with glee.

"Annie, are you drunk." She says in a scolding tone.

"Yes, that's probably why I don't feel to good." I say.

"I should be going. Sorry Miss Cresta."Lana says and hurries out the door Lana stopped drinking hours ago but, I kept going. It's not like I have anything better to do.

"It's fine Lana." She smiles.

My mother doesn't care as much because it's legal but I know I will be having a discussion with her tomorrow about this.

My mother leads me towards my bedroom but ,I go to the bathroom and vomit because I was drinking so much.

Instead of going to get up I lay next to the toilet and cry. My mother comes in and wraps her arms around me.

"It will be alright Annie." She tells me and makes shushing noise.

"No it won't, I could end up being owned." I whisper

"Yes it will." She says and kisses my forehead. "It doesn't matter what happens to you. I will always be here for you. I don't care what will happen if you have to go to the Capitol I will still love you."

I realize I'm not crying because I might be enslaved by Snow. I'm crying for a different reason. I think my drunk state is finally letting everything go.

"No not that." I say.

"What's it then Annie?." She asks

I start sobbing.

"Annie you're okay, you're safe here with me." She says and kisses my forehead.

I sit here crying for a few minutes.

"Why don't we take you to bed." She says

"I love him." I say abruptly through sobs.

"Annie?" She says confused.

"What did I do? I thought he liked me." I sob.

"Oh Annie." She says with compassion. I think she knows I'm talking about Finnick.

"It's okay." She says

I don't say anything I just keep crying.

"Sometimes things don't work out the way you think." She whispers in my ear.

"But, I'm in love with him." I whisper.

"You can't make someone fall in love with you." She says gently. "It will be okay." She says and kisses my forehead

I cry here until I fall asleep and I'm not thinking about Snow's deal. I'm thinking about Finnick and wondering what I did wrong that would cause him not to like me.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22.**

I get up and am somehow in my bed. The last thing I remember I was on the bathroom floor sobbing because Finnick didn't like me. I cringe at the memory, not because it was scarring but, because of how pathetic it is. I am not that girl. I am not that girl who gets drunk and then cries about some guy. I am not that girl whose whole falls apart because the guy she likes doesn't like them. I am not that girl but, last night I was. I don't know if it was the alcohol, talking about Snow, or Lana talking about Jason. It could've been all three or it could've been because I thought he wanted me on the Victory Tour. Now, I just want to forget the memory of last night. Finnick is my friend and hopefully he always will be, he keeps saying I'm stuck with him for life but sometimes I wonder if he actually means it.

I walk downstairs slowly I have only been hungover two times before this. The first time I didn't realize I was drinking alcohol because it was put into food and when alcohol is in food it's hard to judge how you have had anyways. The second time was when Lana and I were drinking stronger alcohol then we realized and were completely gone after two drinks. This time I think I just did it subconsciously trying to chase my troubles away. I shouldn't be using a substance to do that and I probably never will again. I dont' like drinking that much anyways.

I get to the kitchen and see my Mom cooking I pray she is making pancakes, that always makes me feel better when I'm hungover.

I sit down at the kitchen contour.

"Good morning Annie." She places a glass of water in front of me which I gulp down. "How are we today?" She smiles.

"I've been better."

She smiles.

"Do you want to talk about it now or later?" She smiles.

"I know I shouldn't drink this much but-

"I wasn't talking about that Annie, you don't do this very often and I don't think you will start doing it all the time."

"Oh, then what were you talking about?" I ask.

She places pancakes in front of me and gets me more water.

"I don't know maybe the reason you were sobbing on the bathroom floor. The most disturbing thing about that is I don't think I have ever cleaned the bathroom."

"Great." I mutter.

I eat the pancakes and she stares at t me.

"Did something happen?" She asks.

"No, that's the problem." I mutter.

"Oh, well you won't get what you want by just sitting on your butt all day Annie Cresta. If you want Finnick then go get him."

"But you don't understand." I mutter.

"Annie, unless he has stated that he does not want anything to do with you then there is still hope. Has he said he doesn't want anything to do with you."

"No but-"

She sits next to me and places my hair behind my ear and I look at her.

"Annie, you can get whatever you want in life but, you have to go after it."

"Well, what if I'm tired of going after it, what if I'm tired of trying."

"Well, then you shouldn't be sobbing so much about some boy. If I recall Annie, you are not one of _those _girls." She smiles because I have said these exact words to her before.

I roll my eyes.

"I'm not, or at least I thought I wasn't. I think I should just let Finnick be my friend."

"Whatever you want Annie." She kisses my forehead. "But I don't want you to come home sobbing about how he doesn't love you, if you just want him to be your friend."

"That's all he is and that is all he will ever be unless-

"Unless?" My Mom asks intrigued.

"Unless he does something about it." I smile.

"Alrighty then." She smiles "Wat the rest of your pancakes and probably lie down. I will be leaving soon and there is supposed to be a big snow storm. I may just stay in the old house because it is closer to our shop okay sweets." She says

"Okay, I love you mom be careful though." I tell her.

"I will Annie, I love you too." She hugs me and then heads out the door.

I finish my pancakes and then head to the couch and lie down. I stay here for probably an hour but, it is too stuffy in this house and I figure the cool breeze will help with my mushed brain.

I get up and head outside the air is cold but, it is helping my mushed brain. I get close to the exit of Victors Village but, before I exit I slip on a patch of ice and fall flat on my back.

"Ouch." I mutter.

"Annie!" I hear Finnick shout off in the distance. He gets to me relatively quickly.

"Are you alright?" He asks me concerned.

"I think so." I say.

He helps me get up and I almost fall back down.

"Why don't we move over here." He smiles.

"Were you going somewhere?" He asks me.

"No, I was just going for a walk to clear my head." I say.

He looks at me strangely.

"What?" I say confused.

"You look hungover." He tells me.

"Oh well I am it's not as bad as it was earlier."

He smiles.

"Why were you drinking?"

"Because Lana brought some hard apple cider and I forgot it had alcohol in it so I ended up getting really _really _drunk." I smile.

"Oh." He say.

"Come on Finnick like you've never gotten drunk before."

"Not really."

"Really you're almost twenty and you've never been drunk."

"Well, if you would have been around Haymitch since you were fourteen I think you would see why."

"That's the victor for Twelve right?"

"That's the one." He smiles.

"So he's like an alcoholic because of 'winning'." I say.

"That is probably the reason." He says.

"Sad." I say.

"Well, no one ever really leaves that arena. We are all still battling with one another." He says.

"I guess." I say.

"Do you want company on your walk?" He asks me.

"Well, if I fall down again it would be nice to have someone catch me." I smile.

"I'll take that as a yes." He says and I lace my arm with his.

We walk for a short amount of time, when it starts to snow we head back to the village. Iit is very windy and Finnick suggests I come into his house because of the weather conditions. He doesn't think I should be alone in case something happenes and I don't argue with him.

Finnick starts a fire and we sit here for a few minutes staring at the fire and getting warm.

"I'll be right back." He says and gets up and heads to the kitchen.

I sit in front of the fire staring at the flames and am almost in a trance but, am awoke by it when the door opens.

"Annie!" I hear Marci exclaim with joy.

I turn around and see Marci she has snow all over and it is laced in her hair.

"Hi Marci why don't you sit by the fire and get warm." I tell her. I know she is cold I am cold just looking at her.

Jason comes over here as well and sits next to Marci and they strip off their winter jackets.

"Where's Finnick?" He asks me.

"In the kitchen." I reply. He nods and gets up probably to talk to him.

"It's like a blizzard out there Annie." She tells me.

"I'm sure it is."

"Some of the town lights keep flickering off and on. Uncle Michael almost didn't want us to leave but his phone wasn't working and he knew Finnick would worry about us."

"Well that was very considerate." I say truthfully.

She nods and I get a blanket and wrap it around her and she gets into the fire trance as well.

I can hear them coming out of the kitchen.

"Here Marci." Jason says and gives her a mug. Finnick give one to me as well.

I take a sip and realize it is hot coco.

"I can't remember the last time I had coco." I tell him truthfully.

"Seriously Annie?" Marci says slightly offended.

"That's one of the things you are supposed to do in the winter." She says.

"Yes, didn't you know." Finnick teases.

I roll my eyes at him

"What else is on the list?" I ask Marci.

"Ice fishing, ice skating, snowman building, snow angels, cookies, the winter solstice, and the winter carnival."

"What about the winter wonderland festival?"

The winter wonderland festival is the romantic festival of the season. They all have one except summer which has many. The festival is more or less a dance but they still have fun things you can do.

"Annie that is a romantic festival. I have no time for romance in my life at the moment." She says proudly.

"Why is that?" Finnick asks her.

"I have better things to do than find a boy that will distract me."

"Like what?" Jason laughs.

"Other stuff." She says

"It's okay Marci they don't understand." I tell her.

"Have you been to the winter wonderland festival?" She asks me.

"Yes." I say.

I was probably fifteen Ben Nell asked me to go with him and I was very excited. I wore my sparkly white dress because for this festival you are suppose to look nice. Something white or blue for the girls and the guys just have to look nice. I put crystals in my hair to make it look like snow.

Ben showed up and we danced and did the events for the evening. We stayed until it was over then he walked me home and gave me my first kiss. It may sound cliche but it was nice. The next day I ran and told Lana and we talked and giggled about it for hours.

"Really." Marci says excited.

"Really?" Finnick says and I can detect jealously.

"Yes, really." I say.

"Was it nice?"

"What happened to I don't care about this." Jason teases her.

"I don't care." She says but I think all of us know she does care. She wants a nice boy to ask her to the festival.

"But to answer your question Marci it was nice."

Marci crawls over to me.

"Did you dance underneath the stars."

"Yes that's kind of the main part of the festival Marci."

She nods.

"Did you wear white or blue?"

"A nice sparkly white dress I can show you sometime." I tell her and she looks very happy when I say this.

"Did he kiss you?" She whispers. I think she wanted only me to hear this but, I can tell Finnick heard her question because he is looking at me intently.

"Yes."

I can again detect jealously in Finnick's eyes but, if he wants to kiss me so badly I don't understand why he just doesn't do it. He has been presented with many opportunities and I have tried to kiss him more than once he should know I'm interested in him.

She nods.

"Do you want a boy to kiss you Marci." I ask loud enough for both of her brothers to hear.

"No as I said I don't have time for that in my life." She says proudly.

"Good you're too young for that anyways." Jason says

"Excuseee me I am 13." She says

A siren interrupts the conversation and a voice follows and says.

_District 4 weather conditions are severe you must stay inside until further notice. If you try to leave there will be consequences._

"Consequences?" Marci says confused.

"It's probably nothing Marci." Finnick tells her gently but, I have a feeling if you would go outside you would get punished by some peacekeepers.

"Can I use your phone?" I ask Finnick. I want my mother to know I'm alright.

"If it is still working the storm has been messing with it."

He takes me to the kitchen and I dial the phone and my mother answers. She figured I was here but appreciated the phone call.

"Looks like I'm here until further notice." I say.

"Don't worry I don't care." He says.

"Thanks I think."

"So you went to the winter wonderland festival."

"Once when I was fifteen."

"I see."

"You're telling me you've never been to that festival." I mock.

"No I haven't." He says

"Really? not even before you won."

"What does that matter?" He asks confused.

"Because I'm sure even then you could have your pick at any girl you wanted."

"Well... not every girl." He says.

I gasp "Someone turned down Finnick Odair." I tease.

"Ha ha very funny but, yes someone did turn me down." He says

"How unfortunate but, that was only one year."

"Well after I won I didn't want to go because I thought they wanted the Finnick Odair the people in the Capitol loved."

"God you're stupid, you know if you didn't have the alter ego Finnick on all the time more people here would like you." I tell him.

He shrugs and starts to walk over to me.

"Once you've been doing it for so long it's hard to stop."

"You don't do it around me."

"Because you told me not to." He says

"I did say that didn't I." I smile

He is right next to me now and looking into my eyes and his hand is touching mine on the counter. I feel him move closer slightly.

I get startled when Jason opens the kitchen door.

Finnick takes his hand off of mine and steps away a little.

"Was I interrupting?" He asks and eyes Finnick strangely.

"No we were just talking." Finnick says.

He nods.

"Marci wanted more hot chocolate." He says

Finnick gets it and hands it to him then Jason leaves.

I head back out as well and sit near the fire for awhile until it is just myself and Finnick awake.

"Do you want me to show you to your room?" He asks.

"I can just stay on the couch Finnick." I say.

"There are four bedrooms Annie." He says

"I know our houses are exactly the same."

"Then why don't you want one."

I shrug.

"I'm fine with the couch." I tell him again

"Alright I'm going to sleep then." He says

"Have nice dreams and all that jazz."

"I'll try." He says and then heads up stairs.

I stare at the fire for a few more minutes and then head to the couch to fall asleep.

* * *

I'm still sleeping at Finnick's house from the bad snow storm. I am somewhere between asleep and awake. I can tell I'm in Finnick's living room on the couch but I feel hazy.

I can hear foot steps.

"Shh she's still asleep." I hear Finnick say.

"She have nightmares?" I hear Jason ask.

"No, neither did Marci." He says

"I know you did." Jason says sadly.

"Did you hear me screaming?" He asks

I didn't know Finnick had nightmares. I was with him for a whole month on the Victory Tour and didn't hear anything.

"Maybe." Jason says sadly. "Don't apologize." He says before Finnick gets the chance.

"Fine." He says.

It's silent. I can tell one of them is looking at me.

"You ever gonna tell her?" I hear Jason ask

"Tell her what?"

"You know what."

"No I don't." He says with an edge that makes me think he does know.

Jason sighs.

"I think you would've last night in the kitchen if I didn't interrupt.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Finnick says

"Finnick come on."

"Come on what?" He says annoyed

"You know what... Annie."

"What about her?" He says

"That you're in love with her." He says

"I'm not..."

"Fine whatever you need to tell yourself." He says

"I...

"Even if you don't love her let me just say this, no matter what happens in this messed up world you have to get rid of the fear and doubt. You should be doing everything you can to be with the one person who makes it all worth it, because when you find the one you don't give up. You love Annie Finnick... I think you always have." Jason says.

I hold my breath to hear Finnick's response but he doesn't say anything.

It's silent for a few minutes and I hear Jason sigh.

"She won't wait for you forever." Jason says.

Someone leaves the room and someone sits in the chair next to me. I keep my eyes closed to make it look like I didn't hear their conversation but I can't help but wonder if what Jason said is true. That Finnick has always loved me.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

It's been a few weeks since I overheard Jason talking with Finnick. I didn't let him know that I heard the conversation but, it has always been in the back of my mind ever since. I knew I said I wouldn't run after Finnick unless he came to me but, I don't think I can do that anymore. I go to Finnick's house and knock on the door but Marci answers. She has fresh tears on her face.

"Oh... Hi Annie."

"Hi Marci. What's wrong?"

"It's my birthday."

"Then why are you sad?"

"Because my parents haven't shown up yet. They were supposed to be here by now from there fishing trip."

"Marci." I say not knowing what to tell her.

"What?" She asks confused.

"Marci." I see Finnick come behind her.

"Where are Mom and Dad Finnick why aren't they home yet?" She says.

Finnick looks at her sadly

"Marci remember what we told you Mom and Dad aren't coming back."

"Why not." She says with tears running down her face.

"There was an accident, they got hurt badly. Marci they died three years ago."

"No!" She shouts "Tell me where they are!"

"Marci, they aren't here anymore." He says and runs his hand through her hair.

"No you're lying Finnick!" She says and pushes him away.

"I wish I was Marci." He tells her and I can see tears forming in his eyes.

"No!" She says and runs from the house.

"Marci wait!" Finnick says

Finnick runs after her.

I follow him, I want to talk to Marci. She is sitting near the pond at the entrance. Finnick is about to run over to her but I grab his wrist. He looks at me strangely.

"Can I talk to her."

"Okay." He says

I go over and sit next to her.

"Marci you're okay."

"Why is he lying to me."

"Marci when I was your age my father was out fishing when there was a terrible storm. He didn't make it back because he died."

"That's sad but that didn't happen to my parents." Marci says.

"When my mom told me I didn't want to believe her. I kept thinking my dad would walk through the front door but he didn't. After a few months I came to the conclusion that he wasn't coming back." I look at Marci and her chin is trembling.

"I accepted what happened and moved on, and was thankful that my mom was still here with me. Marci you have to accept what happened, you need to move on. You still have Finnick and Jason and your Uncle. They all love you very much and your parents will always be remembered." I tell her gently

"No they are going to come back." She whispers

"Marci they aren't coming back." I tell her gently.

"No!" She says.

She gets up and runs towards Finnick.

"Why is everyone lying to me Finnick?"

He looks like he wants to tell her that we are lying.

"Marci they…"

Jason is heading into the village now.

"Happy birthday Marci." He says but when he gets closer his expression changes. She runs over to him.

"Jason, Finnick and Annie are lying to me."

"About what?" He asks but I can tell he knows what she is going to say.

"That Mom and Dad are dead and not coming back."

"Marci why don't we go for a walk." He tells her.

She sniffles

"Okay." He takes her hand and they leave the village.

"Where is he taking her?" I ask Finnick

"To where they were buried." He says "This has happened every year since they have died. She cries and thinks everyone is lying to her then Jason takes her to see them. She then realizes they are dead and cries the whole day but, when she wakes up tomorrow her mind will reset like nothing happened. She will still think they are on some fishing trip."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know." He pauses "Why did you come to my house?"

"Oh I just wanted to see what you were doing."

He looks at me strangely and then looks off in the distance

"Fantastic." I hear him say annoyed.

I turn around and see his uncle.

"Hello Finnick where is Marci?" He says happily.

"With Jason he…"

He sighs

"Taking her to see your parents like every year."

"Yes." He grumbles

"Well this wouldn't have to happen if you didn't kill them." He says.

"I… I… didn't do anything." He says but, sounds unsure.

"Yes you did and now you get to go and do whatever you wish in the Capitol. Even though you say someone is forcing you, I don't believe it. You like it and you like being a victor."

"No I don't." I say

"Don't lie." He says.

His uncle shouldn't say this he has no idea what it's like to be a victor and he shouldn't judge. I bet Finnick is trying to save him as well.

"I'm not lying and I wish I would've said yes to Snow's deal at first or better yet I wish I would've died in that arena then they would still alive."

"Finnick." I whisper. He shrugs when I say this. He shouldn't be thinking that.

"Finnick your parents always had the upright respect for you and treated you like the best thing ever. I never understood why though. I will admit you are just like your mother."

"Stop." Finnick says angrily. I don't know why this would makes him angry.

"She was like you going from person to person and never going back to the same one until your father and it wasn't because she loved him. It was because of you, that's why they got married not the love story they told Marci. She could've done worse I will admit. She was my sister and I loved her but she didn't have very high morals or standards. She was too young. All you are Finnick is a mistake."

I look at Michael with shock and disgust I look at Finnick and he doesn't seem surprised by this I wonder how many times his uncle has told him this. Even though his mother did get pregnant unmarried that doesn't make him a mistake. I obviously didn't know his parents but I think they loved all of their children more than air especially, with how close his brother and sister are with each other. That closeness wouldn't just develop because their parents died it is deeper than that. Especially Marci's relationship with her brothers.

"Finnick!" I hear someone say in a kind tone. It is an older woman probably late sixties. She has similar features as Finnick.

She walks over here and looks at Michael and Finnick.

"There's my favorite grandson."

"Now Gran don't let Jason hear you say that." He smiles and hugs her. He seems alright but his voice is shaky

"I say the same thing to him."

"Then you're a liar." He teases.

"Mother what are you doing here?" Michael says annoyed.

"It is my granddaughters birthday and I wanted to see her. I'm allowed to leave for family occasions."

She looks at Finnick again. He still looks effected by what his uncle said to him.

"What did you do?" She says looking at Michael

"Nothing Mother." He grumbles.

"Is this true Finnick." She asks him gently and looks concerned.

"It's fine Gran." He tells her.

"Okay." She says but doesn't sound convinced.

She turns to me

"And who is this gem?" She smiles at me.

"That's Annie Gran." Finnick says

"_The_ Annie." She says

"Am I famous or something?" I smile.

"Finnick always talks about you when he visits"

"Gran." He says as if asking her to stop talking.

"Although you are far prettier than Finnick led me to believe." She smiles

"You say when Finnick visits do you live further away." I ask. She seems nicer than Michael. I think she would do a better job looking after Marci and Jason and wouldn't emotionally abuse Finnick either.

"No, would you like to tell her why Finnick visits me Michael."

"Mother..." Michael says shaking his head

"You see Annie, my dear my son over there had me put away in a home soon after Finnick's parents past. Even though I was appointed custody if something ever happened to them unless, of course I wasn't see fit, then he would be appointed as their guardian."

"Mother you didn't even know your last name."

"Well that may be true but there is one thing I will never forget and that is that my own son locked me up in a home and took away my grandbabies when they needed me most." She says coldly and I can see Finnick stifling a smile.

"Where is the birthday girl?" She asks

"With Jason." Michael says and glares at Finnick.

"Oh I see well why don't you go and fetch them and I can stay here with Annie. We can get to know each other." She smiles at me.

"But Mother." Michael objects

"Did I say if it pleases you?" She scolds.

"No." He grumbles

"Then get going and try not to kill one another." She says and looks at Finnick gently. It looks like she knows how Michael is.

They head out of the village but keep a safe distance from one another.

"Let's go into his house." She says and we do and get comfortable on the couch.

"Let me just look at you." She smiles "Oh Annie it just occurred to me that I know your name but you don't know mine it's Pearl."

"It's nice to meet you." I tell her.

"You as well.

"So, Annie what they were talking about before I came up."

"I…

"Don't lie Annie I know my son, he was saying something to Finnick probably something cruel. I don't know what happened to make him so cynical. It seemed to come out after Finnick's parents died. So tell me what did he say." She says

"Well… he kept saying that it was Finnick's fault for his parents dying and that Finnick was a… mistake."

"To call that man my son is embarrassing." She says shaking her head. "It isn't what he made it sound Annie. Finnick's mother only had one love that was her husband. The only reason he thinks she was with every male from District 4 is because she got pregnant unmarried and at the age of twenty. She was already very dependent. She had her own house and could take care of herself. She had a great deal of money too so she wasn't in any finical bind. She could've easily cared for a child by herself."

"Money at twenty?" I say surprised.

"She took every dollar she was given since she was young and would invest them into things. She could easily turn five dollars into five thousand if she did her research. Felicity was smart, gentle and uncommonly kind. She put her needs before everyone else's. She was a good person Annie." Pearl says and her eyes are glazed over with tears. I wonder what my mother would say about me if I was dead.

"I'm sure she was." I say.

"But, Michael thought Felicity deserved better than James because he came from a poor family of merchants but, that doesn't define a person. James was nice and kind and treated Felicity with respect. He also made her very happy, she described it as floating on air happy. Although Michael thought he wasn't good enough myself and my husband knew he was the one for her.

"How did you know?" I ask.

"He brought out the best in her and always had the brightest smile on her face while she was with him or talking about him." She pauses. "Finnick has the same smile when he talks about you. That is the only thing Michael is correct about."

"What's that?" I ask

"That Finnick is just like his mother. He has her looks, her brains, and is also uncommonly kind. Though he isn't allowed to be this person most of the time it is still there and rather obvious at times. I think you have seen that in Finnick already though." She turns to me and smiles.

"That does sound correct." I say.

"Yes but while Finnick is very much like his mother he has one undesirable trait from his father."

"What would that be?" I ask confused.

"He lacks courage." She looks at me.

"But he's a victor he...

"Yes well… throw in an arena to fight to the death and he won't bat an eyelash but make him talk to a pretty girl." She smiles at me "He will be as shaky as a leaf on a tree."

"But, he goes to the Capitol, he talks with them all the time."

"Well... yes but, he is made to do to that and he doesn't care about them. Not like he cares about you." She smiles.

"Oh..."

"He loves you Annie. I don't know in what way but he cares for you deeply."

"He told you this."I say surprised. He can tell his grandmother but not me.

"He didn't have to." She smiles.

"Oh but if that is true why won't he say anything." I say frustrated

"Because he is afraid. He is very concerned about getting close to people because of Snow's deal. Which is why I was surprised when he started talking about being with someone new." She smiles.

"But, then why when I try and tell him he just backs away or changes the subject." I tell her.

"He might not realize it yet or doesn't want to admit it to himself. He isn't used to being close to others and he is still afraid Snow will hurt you."

"But, Snow has already hurt me." I mutter.

Pearl looks at me with compassion.

"I know, he has hurt everyone but the victors get the worst of it." She smiles and rubs my shoulder

I hear the clock chime and know I should be going. I told Lana I would be visiting her today.

"I'm so sorry Pearl but, I have to go."

"Alright it was nice to meet you Annie."

I get up and head to the door.

"Oh and Annie don't give up on him. Be more forward next time you speak with him." She tells me.

"I will do just that Pearl." I smile and walk out of his house.

Finnick's grandmother and brother have told me Finnick loves me in this month so I guess something is there and it wasn't in my head.

Finnick's grandmother is very sweet. If Michael didn't lock her away I think things might be very different. I don't understand how someone can be so cruel to members of their family.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

It seems like the snow just hit the ground but, it already gone and the weather is sunny and warm again. It is now summertime in District Four and tomorrow will be my favorite festival: the flower festival.

I'm walking back from Lana's house and walk slowly so I can be engulfed in the warm air, sun, the smell of flowers, and sea salt. I make my way back into the village but, don't want to go to my house yet so I head to the fountain and sit on the edge. I let the water spurt onto me and I just enjoy the nice weather and stare at the crisp blue sky and fluffy white clouds.

"Annie" I hear Finnick say.

I look and pat the space next to him and he sits.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Do you have plans for tomorrow?" He asks

"Well nothing really I was thinking of going to the flower festival. It is my favorite festival."

"I know, you have told me that before." He smiles. "You're going with Lana then?"

"Well nothing has been carved into stone but, that was the plan. Why?"

"Well do you think she would mind if I took you instead."

"You want to take me to the flower festival." I say surprised.

"Yes, unless you want to go with Lana."

"No, like I said nothing was carved in stone. I will go with you."

"Good that's good." He smiles "Why don't we meet at the fountain around five it will give us plenty of time before the release of the petals." He smiles.

"Okay, I'll get my chisel."

"What?" He looks at me confused.

"To crave it into stone. Ha ha." I smirk.

"Oh." He smiles and rolls his eyes.

"Too much?" I tease.

"Everything about you is too much but, in a good way."

* * *

I head down to the fountain so Finnick and I can go to the flower festival. I sit down at the side of the fountain and wait for him. I run my fingers through my braid it has flowers woven into it just for the flower festival. Lana and I have done it since we were little and it goes with the theme of the day.

"Annie." He comes over and smiles.

"Hi."

"Your hair is very festive today." He smiles.

"Thanks, I do it every year."

"It looks nice." He smiles.

"Thanks, it's easy to do because of the weaving things."

"I know because I can braid my sisters hair." He smiles and holds out his hand "Shall we."

I take it and we walk hand and hand into town. I'm getting a feeling that this is a date but, I'm not going to assume anything because with Finnick it could be anything.

"When's the last time you've gone to this?" I ask him.

"I can't remember." He says.

"Well, I go every year."

"I used to go with my parents." He says.

I stop walking.

"We don't have to go then Finnick if this will bring up bad memories." I say.

"No, I want to go with you." He smiles and his eyes are gleaming with joy.

"Okay." I say.

We get to the beach and see flowers everywhere the mayor walks to stage and gives the same speech he gives every year. Then they chime the bells and release flower petals. They land everywhere and it looks like it is raining beautiful colors.

Then Finnick and I sit on the beach and watch day turn to night.

"I like the nighttime here." Finnick says.

"Why?"

"Because you can see the stars. You can't see them in the Capitol and they bounce off of the ocean and it makes it seem...

"Prefect." I say.

"Yeah perfect." He smiles.

"That's not the only thing I can't see when I'm at the Capitol." He says and looks at me strangely. I think he might be implying me but... I think I am just reading into it.

"Do you miss that too?"

"Yes." He smiles.

I feel myself moving closer to him and I hold his hand. He looks at me and smiles. He has a nice look in his eyes they are shining with happiness.

"We should head back before it gets too dark." He smiles.

"Okay." I nod.

We walk back hand in hand until we get to the street that is in the middle of our houses.

"I guess this is goodnight." He tells me.

"Yeah." I say.

"I'll see you later Annie." He tells me and starts to walk back to his house.

"Finnick?" I say. I want to ask him if this was a date but, I don't want to ruin anything.

"Yeah." He says and turns around smiling.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow?" I ask him. I spend time with him anyways so it isn't that strange. I feel if I spend more time with him I will be able to figure out what tonight was.

"No. Why?"

"I need help with finding things to draw I'm supposed to bring stuff to the Capitol. You go there so much I figure...

"I'd be happy to help you Annie." He says and walks back over here.

He smiles at me and runs his fingers over my hair, and ilooks me in the eyes. I feel I should say something but he takes my hand and kisses it.

"Goodnight Annie."

"Until tomorrow." I say.

He goes into his house and I head to mine.

* * *

I hear a knocking on my door and assume it is Finnick to help me with my drawings, I don't really need his help but, I wanted to see him again.

"Hi, Annie are you ready?" He asks me.

"Yes."

"Let's go then." He says and holds out his hand. I take it and he is leading me out of the village.

He takes me to the pond in front of Victors Village.

"A nice landscape." I smile.

"Ah yes, an Annie Cresta original." He mocks.

He nods and I start sketching.

"Why are you so good at this?" He asks me looking over my shoulder.

"Dunno, it's just one of those things. What was your talent for the Victory Tour anyways?"

"Weaving." He says

"I'm sure anyone from District 4 could have that as their talent." I smile.

"Well, since it was coming from the great Finnick Odair it was different." He teases.

He picks up a lavender water lily and gives it to me.

"Thank you, these are my favorite."

"I know, you have mentioned it before."

"And you remembered?" I say surprised.

"I remember small details that I find interesting."

"Interesting?" I smile.

"Yes." He chuckles softly.

The sun starts to go down and know I should be getting back home so my mother doesn't worry.

"I should get back." I tell him.

"Okay." He tells me. "It was nice to see you Annie." He leans in and I think he is going to kiss me but he just strokes my hair instead.

"It was nice seeing you Annie." He says again.

I feel myself getting angry. I finally thought we were on the same page. After the things I've over heard and the actions both of us have taken I thought this was finally it. Maybe everyone was wrong, maybe Finnick doesn't love me and we are all idiots.

"That's it?" I blurt out. I sound shocked and annoyed.

"What's it?" He asks confused.

"You ask me to the flower festival and we go and have a nice time, then I ask to see you tomorrow and you agree. We sit here at the pond and have a nice day and then you get up and pat my head like I'm a dog."

"I'm sorry?" He says confused.

"Come on Finnick you knew what you were doing, you knew what I was doing."

"Well… it wasn't official or anything." He says

"Wasn't official!" I practically shout at him.

"You didn't say anything official Annie I-

I interrupt him I don't care what excuse he was going to give me this time. I'm tired of waiting for him and he is going to hear this whether he wants to or not.

"But we both did things, said things that made it pretty obvious what was going on here. I mean I thought finally _finally_ we were on the same page!" I'm shouting at him by how frustrated I am with him.

"Annie just calm down." He says.

"No! I don't want to calm down! I thought everything was going fine but, now you're standing there looking at me like I'm... crazy and making me think it was all in my head."

"Annie I'm not looking at you like you're crazy."

"I mean when you walked me home last night there was a moment... well I thought there was a moment." I say.

It is silent for a few minutes Finnick and I are having a stare off. It doesn't look like he is going to say anything. I get up and start to walk back to my house but, after I take a few steps Finnick grabs my arm and I turn around.

"There was." Finnick says and I look at him confused.

"There was a moment." He says.

We look at each other and I lean in but he backs away.

"What are you doing?" He says.

"Just stand still." I say and kiss him and it is like electricity is running all over my body. He breaks the kiss and touches his lips and leans in.

"What are you doing?" I ask him and back away.

"Just stand still." He smiles and kisses me. This time it is with more passion. I let my fingers run through his hair and he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. I never want him to let go but he breaks the kiss. I rest my forehead against his and he puts his hands on my cheeks. I look into his famous green eyes and we are both are smiling like idiots.

"I love you." We both whisper in unison and kiss again.

I'm in love with Finnick Odair like most of the woman in the Capitol but, the difference is that he loves me back and that this love is real. It's not some shallow thought that I have just because he is pretty. I love the real Finnick the idiot from District 4.

**A/N: Yay! They finally kissed! I hope it was worth the wait! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"What's with you?" Lana asks.

"What?" I say with a smile.

"You ...that giddy look. You look very happy."

"Well sorry." I say.

She rolls her eyes. "What is it?" She asks

"Finnick and I kissed." I say.

"Finally, I thought that was never going happen. Jason was getting weary too he thought Finnick was either to stupid or too afraid."

"That's nice Lana." I say and roll my eyes.

"His words not mine. So, did he kiss you or did you kiss him?" She asks.

"Does that matter?"

"I want to know the story." She smiles.

"Well I kissed him but, then he kissed me."

"Was it nice?" She asks.

"It was." I say and can feel myself blushing.

"Good, I'm glad. You deserve to be happy especially with everything that has happened but, I never thought it would be the great Finnick Odair who would put that big smile on your face." She says.

"I know but, who knew how nice he was. I guess we should stop judging people before we meet them."

"Well, Annie with him it wasn't that big of an accusation, I mean he is even like that in District Four."

"That's because he thinks that is what people want."

She scoffs.

"Trust me Annie no one here wants that." She says

"I know."

"Well, why isn't he that way for you?"

"I told him not to besides I don't think he wants to be that narcissistic person when he is with me."

"Well, that's good."

"How are you though?"

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"You know with... Jason."

"Oh, that's good got nice plans tonight."

"Really."

"Really, it's very secretive though." She smiles."

"You have always liked that." I smile.

"Yes I have. Didn't we always say we wanted to date brothers when we were younger." She says

"Yes, so we could have a double wedding in our backyard and we would know they would get along."

"Exactly but now don't you think it is weird?"

"No, it's only weird if you make it weird." I smile.

"True." She says. "Well, I have to go." She stands up and pulls me up with her.

"Okay, well have fun doing whatever it is you're doing."

She rolls her eyes.

"I'm going to see my brother and his wife."

"Oh, well have fun with that."

"I'm sure I will." She smiles.

She heads into town to see her brother and I head back to Victors Village. I can see Finnick sitting on his porch outside, he seems to be thinking deeply about something. I head over to his house and sit next to him and he jumps. I don't think he noticed I was so close to him.

"Were you waiting for me?" I ask.

He rolls his eyes.

"You're not that important Cresta." He smiles and grabs my hand and laces my fingers with his. He seems far away, he seems distracted.

"Finnick, what's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing." He says and looks at me.

"Something is bothering you, what is it?" I ask concerned.

He shrugs.

"It's just this..." He says and motions towards are interlocked hands.

"What about it? Are you changing your mind already Finnick?" I say slightly annoyed.

"No." He laughs "It's just you could do better."

I start laughing.

"You think this is funny Annie?" He asks angry

"Why would you say that?" I ask still.

"Because I go to the Capitol to do things and it isn't-

I kiss him to get him to stop talking. His body relaxes and he puts his hands on my cheeks.

"That's why you're already good enough." I say.

"What?" He asks confused.

"You think you're not good enough and you worry about me."

"Well, yes I love you Annie and I never want to be the person who hurts you."

I smile.

"Finnick Odair, you could never hurt me." I say.

"Never say never." He grumbles.

"You're an idiot." I say.

"But Annie I-

I kiss him again and his body relaxes.

"You're the best person for me Finnick Odair and like you said I'm stuck with you for life."

"I did say that didn't I." He smiles and kisses me again.

"So don't ever _ever_ think that again. Do better than the great Finnick Odair that is ludicrous."

"Yes _the _Finnick Odair." He says and rolls his eyes.

"Well, I didn't fall in love with that Finnick the one who is still in love with himself."

"I don't like that Finnick either." He mumbles.

"Well, maybe you could start with not having a double life anymore." I say.

"It isn't that easy Annie."

"Well, why is it when you are with me?" I ask.

"Because I don't want to be that other person when I'm with you, and you make it so easy."

"Well, I'm glad."

He leans in and kisses me.

"I love you." He tells me.

"I'm glad. You have no idea how long I wanted to hear you say that." I say.

"I know but, I didn't think I should've told you."

"Well, maybe you should've." I tease.

"It doesn't matter now." He says and kisses me again.

'When's the next time you leave?" I ask.

"Sunday." He says.

"It will be okay." I say.

"I know that will be fine it's just I don't want to argue with him anymore." He says.

"You mean Michael."

"Michael, Devil whatever you want to call him." He says.

"Finnick I don't think he is as bad as the devil."

"You don't know him well enough, you've only seen the tip of the iceberg."

"What made him hate you so much."

"Well weren't you listening to him. I ruined his sisters life... I'm a _mistake._"

"Finnick, you're not a mistake."

"Okay." He says and rolls his eyes.

"Finnick, how many times has he told you this."

"I don't know for the majority of my life. You think you would get used it but..." He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter at least he is telling me the truth."

"Finnick Odair don't let your terrible uncle make you think these things. Would your parents ever say this to you?"

He sighs.

"No, my mother didn't like it when he said it before. He would only do it indirectly and never said it to my face but, as I got older he did. I actually stopped seeing him after I won the games. I finally saw him again when my parents died but, it had been years and I think that was the the only reason I did see him again. Then he appointed himself legal guardian." He rolls his eyes.

"That means Marci doesn't know him very well." I say surprised.

"No, she doesn't but to be far I don't think any of us really do. I don't think she has any prior memories of him. It isn't right but, what can you do." He shrugs.

"Why does he just think you fool around when you go to the Capitol especially when he knows."

"Like you said he is a terrible person. I'm tired of having the same run around with him though, I just wish he would stop."

"Why don't you just not see him?"

"Because Marci always comes here before I go to the Capitol and Michael drops her off just so he can yell at me." He shakes his head.

"Well, maybe this time he won't."

"Oh no." He says and motions his head towards the exit of Victors Village and sure enough there he is with Marci.

Marci runs over towards Finnick.

"Hi Finnick, Hi Annie" She says.

"Marci." He says.

"You're going tomorrow right." She whispers.

He nods.

"Are you leaving?" Marci asks me.

I shake my head.

"No."

She nods and looks unhappy.

"C'mon Marci let's go inside." Finnick tells her and then it is just myself and Michael outside.

He smiles at me.

"Hello Annie."

"Yeah whatever." I mumble.

"Something wrong?"

"Yes, you."

"What have I ever done to you?" He says confused.

"Nothing directly I just don't understand how you can be so cruel to members of your family."

"You mean my mother?"

"Well, fine let's start there."

"She wouldn't have been able to take care of them I was doing her favor."

"Do you want to know why I think you did it?"

"Pray tell Annie why do you think I did it."

"Because I think you wanted to be able to torment Finnick for the rest of his life."

"And what makes you say that." He says defensively.

"According to him he didn't see you for years and then when his parents die you just magically appear again. You make it seem like you and your sister were so close but, I don't think that is the case. I think she wanted you to stay away from him because you were so terrible."

"How was I terrible Annie by telling him the truth?"

"That's just what you think but, his parents clearly didn't think this or else they wouldn't have had to die for you to see him again." I say.

"Do you want me to say it Annie, that I don't like him, that I think he is a waste of space, or that I think he is a living breathing mistake. All are things I have said to him before you can take your pick which you prefer. Personally I wasn't that devastated when his name was drawn from that bowl I think it would've been better if he didn't come back. Then he could no longer be a burden to anyone ever again."

"Oh my god." I say in disbelief. "You are a terrible excuse for a human being, you don't deserve everything you have and just for the record that _mistake _in there is saving your life every time he goes to the Capitol. He isn't high on your list but, I get the feeling he just wouldn't let Snow kill you. Unfortunately I don't think I can see the same for you." I say and then the door clatters open.

"Annie come on, I want to talk to you." Marci says and grabs my hand.

"You can leave Uncle Michael, Finnick promises to take me back before dusk." She smiles.

"I..." He trails off.

"Is something wrong?" Marci asks him looking slightly alarmed.

"No, Marci it is nothing. I will see you later then." He says and leaves. He has a strange expression on his face.

Finnick comes outside and looks around.

"Where did he go?" He asks sounding relieved.

"I took care of it." I say.

He looks at me strangely.

"It doesn't matter Finnick let's just go inside." I tell him.

"What did you do?" He asks me sounding worried.

"Something he needed to hear."

"It won't last." He says.

"Well, then savor this moment." I say and he kisses me on the cheek.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome." I say and kiss him.

I have a feeling he is right but, sometimes you just have to savor the little things and the small victories because ultimately those are the things that get you through the day.

**A/N: Hello everyone I just wanted to let you know that I probably won't be posting chapters this weekend because I have been feeling sick recently but, don't worry after that it will be back to the normal schedule. As always thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Tomorrow is the last week for festivals for awhile because the reaping for the 71st Hunger Games is in three weeks. This is know as the daffodil days festival it is really a week long celebration to signify the end of a harvest or something. It is really more than one festival in one each day is a different event. I have never been to all of them I usually go to the opening and closing days. I go to see what the vendors are selling on opening day, I go to the craft corner to help weave some of the flower net for this year, I go to see the fishing contest, and to collect sea shells.

The second day are the boat shows which I don't have an interest for, the third day has to do with history of boats and fishing which I learned in school the smaller kids like this day though, the fourth day is more of competition days on the beach small games, again it is mostly for smaller children, the fifth day is a sub festival because it is the romantic one, the starry night festival. I have never been to this one. Lana has and this is her favorite one. It has to do with the atmosphere or something. The starry night festival isn't always on the same day because they want the one with the clearest sky. They make decorations so it always looks like there are shooting stars. It sounds nice but, you can look at the stars anytime. The sixth day is left over day, and the seventh and final day is the blow out where they do anything you could imagine.

I hear a knock on my door and expect to see Finnick but, it is Lana instead.

"Hey." I say.

"Expecting someone else?" She teases.

"Finnick is supposed to come back sometime this week." I say.

"Oh right he's in the Capitol." She says sadly.

"Yes."

"Too bad I finally thought you had a shot at going the starry night festival." She teases.

"I can look at the stars with Finnick anytime if I wanted to."

"It's not the same and you know it."

"No, I don't. I never got why that was a romantic festival because anyone can look at the stars."

"It's just hard to explain. I came here to see if you wanted to go to the festival or if...

"I'll be fine Lana." I say. Large groups of people and me have not been getting along and neither has sleep and myself. I just want to be with Finnick he somehow makes the nightmares go away.

"Stop daydreaming about Finnick." She says.

"I wasn't-

She shoots me a doubtful look.

"Okay maybe a little."

"Don't worry I'm sure he will be back in time to take you to that festival."

"I don't care about going to that festival."

"Okay." She says with disbelief in her voice.

"Lana let's just go into town. I want to see-

"Yeah, yeah. I know what you want let's go." I smile.

We go and do all the fun activities and leave when the sun starts to set.

* * *

"How do I look?" Lana asks.

"Fine." I say with a sigh.

"Just fine." She says annoyed.

"I have watched you try on dress after dress they all looked fine except that awful green one and the pink one that made you look... fat."

"But-

"Lana you do this every year you try on a bunch of dresses and go with the first one. I don't see why it matters this is your boyfriend not some random guy like it usually is."

"Do I sense judgment in that voice of yours Annie Cresta?" She says.

"No... maybe." I say.

"Mmh well that's fine. You don't think this has to do with jealousy?"

"No." I roll my eyes.

"Okay."

"I don't care about this starry night festival. You have gone every year nothing is different."

"Yes it is because you have someone who loves you and they can't take you because they are uh... indisposed at the moment."

I roll my eyes.

"Wear the yellow." I say and hold out the yellow dress. "It looks nice with your hair."

"Blonde hair yellow dress I love it!" She says.

"Okay good." I say.

"Alright you can go home now."

"I-

"I know you want to Annie you do around this every year."

"I guess."

She smiles.

"Tell me about it tomorrow."

"I always do." She smiles and I head out the door and back to my house. I think about how different Lana is compared to last year, she has settled down more. She is more confident in herself and doesn't need to casually date anymore because she finally found one good enough for a second look. Who knew it would be Jason. Maybe it is because he is so quite all the time. I need to get to know him better he is Finnick's brother and Lana's... boyfriend.

I get to my house and close the door and sigh. I go to the kitchen and see the note on the fridge.

_Annie needed to work one of the booths might not come back. If you need me you will know where to find me. - Love Mom. _

I sigh I didn't really want to be alone but, it's not like I know anyone else. I always liked having few friends who I would be close with rather than a bunch of friends who I don't know very well.

I go upstairs and sit on the outdoor deck. I can see all of the festivities going on, I make a bond fire and watch the day turn to night. I look up at the stars like many couples are doing. I still don't get it, why is this so romantic.

* * *

I hear a knock on my door and know it is Lana to tell me everything that happened last night at the starry night festival.

"I'm supposed to give you this." She says and hands me a piece of paper.

"Hello to you too."

She rolls her eyes.

"Jason gave it to me to give to you what does it say?" She asks.

I open the envelope and it has a flower petal in it and says. _In between the beach and the grass is where you saw me last. __  
_

"What the?" I turn in around and nothing more. I don't recognize the handwriting either. It's talking about the flower petal but, the last time I was there with this petal was the flower festival with Finnick.

"What does it say." Lana says eagerly.

She reads it.

"What is this some sort of scavenger hunt?"

"I guess." I say.

"Do you know where this is."

"Yes."

She follows me to the spot I sat with Finnick when we watched the day turn to night and there is another note that reads _Annie _on the outside.

I grab it and open it. _Whether it be the ocean or the creek, what do fish like to eat? __  
_

I roll my eyes. I know Finnick wrote this card.

Lana grabs it from my hand.

"The bait shop!" She exclaims.

"No duh." I say.

"This is fun but, who wrote these."

"I think it was Finnick." I say.

"He isn't back Annie."

"I know maybe he thought I would get bored or something."

We get to the bait shop.

"Miss Cresta. I'm supposed to tell you that a treasure is waiting for you somewhere in this shop." The owner says with glee.

I go over to the treasure chest display and lift it up and find the next clue.

"That wasn't even hard." Lana says.

"I didn't know there was a difficultly level." I say and roll my eyes and open the note.

_It's time to go it alone you may want to go home. _

"What no it was just getting good." Lana says with disappointment.

"I will fill you in tomorrow." I say.

"You might want to tell Finnick to come up with better rhymes. He is almost twenty and it sounds like something a child would write."

"I didn't know it was a crime." I say.

She sticks out her tongue and heads to her house and I head to Victors Village. I walk up my porch and on the door I see another envelope.

_You must be on a winning streak I hope you aren't finding this bleak because the treasure you seek is closer than you think. _

"That's not vague or anything." I pause. "Maybe inside."

I look all over but don't see another envelope.

I sigh and go back outside and open the envelope again. I notice in the top left corner there is an arrow and it is pointing straight. It is pointing towards the fountain. I go to the fountain and see something on the bottom. I fish it out and open it, there is an envelope and I'm surprised it's not water logged. It had to be placed here recently but how, Finnick isn't back yet. Jason gave Lana the letter to give to me. He probably did this as well.

_I have never been in love before, you're my first and you'll be my only. Go to the place where those three words were first said._

I smile Finnick is definitely the culprit of these notes

"No rhyme this time."

I head to the pond since this is the first place Finnick and I me said we loved one another but, I think we loved each other sooner than that.

I see an envelope siting on the end of the fishing doctor. I pick it up and notice there is something else in this envelope.

The envelope says _open me_. I do and a paper isn't in the envelope it's a locket. I guess this is my treasure but, on the locket there is a piece of paper that says _open me_. I do as instructed and a piece of paper falls into my lap. I unfold it and it reads _turn around_.

"What?" I say confused.

I stand up and turn around and see the real "treasure".

"Oh my god." I say and I practically run over to Finnick and he hugs me and twirls me around.

"When did you get back? How did you have time to do this?"

"I got back probably an hour ago. I had it all planned out with Jason before I left in case I didn't get to take you to that festival."

"Finnick I didn't...

"Annie you love town events don't lie to yourself." He says.

"That one doesn't matter though, in fact none of those things matter anymore as long as I can be be with you." I say and he kisses me.

"I love you Annie." He whispers in my ear and puts a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I love you Finnick but, you don't have to do all this because all I want is you."

"I know but I wanted to." He says and I kiss him then hug him for what seems like a long time. I don't care about anything else at this time. All I care about is being here in this moment with Finnick.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

I put out my hands and can't stop them from shaking.

"It's okay Annie." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

I can hear Aries making his opening remarks before he is going to introduce us and I keep feeling like I'm going to throw up.

"It's okay just stare at the horizon, don't look at the cameras. Just look at me, I will be right next to you."

"How am I going to do this? How am I going to mentor? How am I going I be someone I'm not."

"Don't worry Annie that won't happen."

"But how? You can't know that what about..." I don't want to even say Snow's deal out loud. I can already feel my hands starting to sweat and me drift from reality. I feel someone wrap their arms around me and I hug them back. I know it is Finnick.

"It's okay Annie." He says and smooths my hair and kisses my forehead. "And I can guarantee that, that won't happen." The way Finnick says this isn't a guess he does know.

"What did you do Finnick?" I ask concerned.

He looks at me and I can tell he doesn't want to tell me.

"I-

"Now let's give it up for our victors." Aries says and Finnick looks relieved. I don't know why, he isn't going to get out of the conversation that easily.

I walk out when Aries says my name. I sit down and pick a spot in the crowd and stare. I don't hear the names he calls, I don't even realize when it is over. Finnick taps my shoulder and takes me to the train.

I don't say anything and just walk in a zombie like state. I sit down robotically and I'm not paying attention to what Luna, Mags, and Finnick are talking about. It probably has to do with strategy for mentoring but, I can't think of that now. After a few minutes Finnick sits next to me and grabs my hand.

"It's okay Annie, we have forty five minutes before we leave the station and mentoring isn't as bad as it seems-

"You have to train two people and watch them die, how is that not bad Finnick?" I say surprised.

"There are worse things." He says gravely.

"What did you do Finnick?" I ask again.

"Don't worry about it Annie." He tells me and squeezes my hand.

"No, it involves me and Snow's deal, I can tell. Just tell me Finnick. I'm sure he is going to tell me when we get to the Capitol."

His facial expression changes I don't think he thought of that.

"Annie, let me explain first before you talk. Okay?"

"Okay."

"When I went to the Capitol last time I talked with Snow about you... about what was going to happen to you. He told me and I didn't like the answer so...

I gulp "What was the answer."

"Snow, has been watching you closely and he thought you would be alright to take on certain _clientele_."

I can feel the blood drain from my face it is as if I forgot how to speak so Finnick just continues on.

"I didn't want that to happen to you. You're too kind. You're too good. You're too pure." He says.

I have a feeling I know what Finnick is going to say next.

"So, I made a deal with him. I told him I would be more _accessible _then before. I will be going to the Capitol more Annie but-

"Finnick." I say.

"I thought you said not interruptions." He teases.

"How can you joke about this? How can you do this Finnick? Didn't you think I would feel guilty? You can't do this, I won't let you." I tell him.

"Unfortunately you don't get a say, once Snow makes a deal there is no going back. It's okay Annie-

"No, it's not."

I let go of his hand and back away from him slightly.

"Annie, please I'm doing what I know is right."

"That may be true Finnick but, this is my life and it is effecting you in a negative way."

"Annie." He looks at me gently "You're better than the other victors, you are and they all know it too."

"So?" I say annoyed.

"That's why this can't happen to you. I love you and I would rather die than see you in my situation. You're going to be fine."

"But what about you?" I say and I can feel tears forming in my eyes.

"Don't cry Annie. I will be fine as long as I have you."

A tear escapes my eye and he kisses my cheek. I hug him and let the tears drip onto his shirt.

"How can I make this up to you?" I ask.

"You don't need to do anything Annie being here, being in my life is enough." He gets me to look into his eyes. He doesn't look sad. He looks almost happy.

"Why do you look happy?" I ask him.

"Because I'm here with you." He kisses my forehead.

I smile.

"Aries will be here with the tributes soon. Remember the person I am on this train isn't the true me."

"I know." I say.

"Good."

"What am I supposed to do?"

He smiles "Just be you."

"What does that mean?"

"Nice, supportive, in our group you will be the one they will go to, to listen."

"Who are you?"

"The one they push. The mean coach." He rolls his eyes.

"The Capitol golden boy." I smirk.

"Him too."

"How do you keep all of them straight?"

"I know who I am Annie. I could be whoever or whatever Snow wants me to be but, he can never truly own me because he can never make me forget, he can never change the person I really am. As long as you know who you are. As long as you remember then he can never own you."

I smile and kiss him.

"None of that when the tributes get on the train." Luna says.

I want to say something but, Finnick interrupts.

"She's right Annie, I need to keep up the rouse."

"Okay." I say and kiss him one more time and let go of his hand.

He gets up and goes to the first car, I hope he isn't like he was when I first got on the train.

"Don't worry Annie we all have our roles." Luna says and takes me to the dining car.

"And what would those be?" I ask confused.

"Finnick is his alter ego self. Which I assume is saying enough however, he feels guilty doing this so he is nicer to them especially once we arrive to the Capitol. I am good at giving the strategical and fighting advice. Mags is the motherly role and you are the sweet and gentle girl. You will be there to listen. Finnick said you could just be yourself."

"Okay." I say.

I do and the tributes come on the train. I think the male tribute volunteered. I wasn't really paying attention and I didn't want to, they don't really seem interested in me anyways.

I go to my room to go to sleep but, I toss and turn and can't. The room is starting to feel very small I get up out of bed. I don't care about the rouse I want to be with Finnick.

I knock on his door and wait for him to answer but, he doesn't come. I knock again and nothing. I don't think Finnick would care if I just walk in so I do.

"Finnick?" I say. I can hear his shower is on. I look to the clock it is three in the morning. I'm about to leave but, I hear a loud crash come from the bathroom.

I knock on the bathroom door.

"Finnick are you alright?"

"Annie?" I hear him say confused he opens the door. His bathroom looks very messy and he looks lost. He is sitting in the shower with his pajamas on.

"Finnick what's wrong?" I say.

He doesn't say anything he looks afraid. I think he had a bad nightmare.

I sit next to him in the shower letting the water fall on me as well. I lace my fingers with his and lean against him.

He breathes in and out and relaxes.

"Annie." He says.

"I'm right here Finnick and I'm not going anywhere." I say and kiss him.

We sit here for awhile, I don't turn off the water and I don't ask him if that's what he wants. If he wanted it off he would've turned it off, it is calming him and making him feel better. He might have had a nightmare where he was on fire. It doesn't matter, I would walk through a snowstorm without a stitch of clothing for Finnick because I love him and I know he would do the same. He is doing the same by taking on more clients.

He shuts off the water and looks at me.

"I'm sorry." He says softly.

"Don't be." I whisper.

He hugs me.

"I'll be here for you Finnick, I'll always be here. After all if I'm _stuck _with you that means you're _stuck _with me." I smile.

"I guess I should've read the fine print." He smiles.

"Looks like it's too late now." I smile.

"I love you." He says.

I nod.

"Why did you come to see me? Are you alright?" He sounds worried.

"I'm like you, couldn't sleep. I know we are supposed to keep up the _rouse _but, I don't think I can in the nighttime. I don't think I will be able to sleep here without you." I say.

He runs his thumb across my cheek.

"You're always allowed to be here Annie. It doesn't matter the only people who will know are the tributes and if they become a victor they will know everything."

"Then why can't I be with you in the daytime?"

"Because then they will think we don't care." He says.

"Oh."

"Couldn't be further from the truth." He smiles.

I nod.

"We should go to sleep, we have to be up early to talk about the tributes." He says.

I nod.

I curl up on Finnick's bed and he holds me in his arms. I listen to his breathing and can already feel my eyes getting heavy. He kisses my forehead and I drift to sleep and I know if our roles were reversed I would be doing exactly what Finnick is for me. People do crazy things when they are in love, it may seem irrationally or illogical but, as long as you have that person who makes it worth it, those actions and sacrifices will be worth it.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"Alright now today will be the recaps so pay attention." Aries tells the tributes.

I still have no idea what to do. Finnick told me just to be myself but, when they ask me things someone has to jump in and save me from the answer. I must be the worst mentor in history.

"Yes, pay attention because this is very important. You also get to see how the rest of the world saw you. If you yourself thought you looked weak then you probably did and that is not desirable." Finnick says. I hate this version of Finnick and the worst part is I can tell he hates it too. I think all of us can tell he hates it. Only the tributes and Aries can't tell the difference.

I watch the tributes, the ones from one and two are the same as usual both volunteers and both have blood lust in their eyes. District three's female is around fifteen and the male is around seventeen, they both look a little on the skinnier side. Next is our District, Chase did volunteer and he looks like he will fit in well with the people from one and two. Maddy didn't volunteer and she is shaking like a leaf. I know Finnick is going to yell at her for being weak so before he gets the chance I want to say something.

"Maddy it will be alright." I say.

She rolls her eyes.

"No, it won't. At least Finnick tells me the truth, even though he is acting like an ignorant jerk." She says.

Finnick shakes his head because he knows I want to say sorry.

I didn't really pay attention until it gets to District Seven.

"At least you didn't do that." Finnick says when they show the female tribute getcalled.

"What's the name again?" Luna asks.

"Johanna Mason." Chase says in a tone that makes me uncomfortable. He wants to kill her and it won't be hard either.

I understand what Finnick meant as soon as that girl's name got call, she barely made it up to the stage and she was in hysterics the whole time. I know I cried when I got called but it was only a few tears this girl is full out sobbing. The thing I don't understand is that she has a decent amount of upper body strength. District Seven is the lumber District she probably knows how to use an axe. That is a useful skill an easy way to kill someone it's probably the same thing as giving Finnick a trident. I think she is just scared, I'm sure he knows how to wield an axe.

"We should forget her yes?" Maddy says.

"No." I say before I can stop the words coming out of my mouth.

"Here we go." I can hear Chase mutter.

"She looks like she could be strong she could just be in shock."

"Speaking from your reaping Annie." He sneers.

"I'm just saying." I mutter.

"No, she's right that's why I asked for her name. You can truly forget about her when they show her score. If it's low she will die in the bloodbath." Luna says.

The rest is business as usual and I feel bad because as the number gets higher the tributes get skinnier.

"Good we will be in the Capitol in an hour. Your mentors will tell you what to expect for the opening ceremonies." Aries says and then leaves the room probably to get all prim and proper for the Capitol.

"So what can we expect?" Maddy whispers.

"It is different but, you only need to worry about getting made up by your stylists. Then when it's time to be presented just smile and wave. It will only last a few seconds. The important part comes from when the scores are posted and the interviews." Mags tells them gently.

Chase looks annoyed and Maddy nods.

"Just project confidence." Finnick adds.

I smile at him. I can tell he is miserable. I think we are all though.

The train slows and I see all of the people I hate and their strange color skin.

We get ushered into the makeup center and wait for Aries to take them to the stylists.

I sigh.

"Does this feeling go away?" I ask.

"What feeling?" Finnick asks.

"Like some fat person is sitting on my chest and making it hard to breathe. I can't do this Finnick." I whisper.

Finnick smiles and brush my hair behind my ear. "Count to ten Cresta. Everything will be okay." He says. I want to say more but I hear a shrill voice call for him.

"There you are Finnick." She smiles.

She has long red hair and pale skin that looks to be surgically enhanced. She has eyes that match the hair and she has long nails that remind me of claws. She is wearing an outfit that reminds me of a school uniform.

I know this girl isn't a friend it's a client and I can hear alarm bells going off. I want to cry but, I keep my composure.

"Hello Rin." He says in the faking charming voice he uses with these women.

"Are you ready?" She giggles.

"Give me a minute please." He says.

"It will be alright after the parade it is just dinner time then bed. It will be alright, I will come to see you once I get back." He says.

I nod. I don't think I will be able to say anything to him.

"Don't cry Annie." He says. "It's not your fault." He strokes my hair and walks off to Rin.

"I'm all yours." He says. She laces her arm with his and they leave. I wonder where they are going. I have a feeling I know what they will be doing.

There's a loud bang noise and something spills all over. It looks like water and it goes up to my knees.

"No." I say to myself and try to run away but, I slip and fall down. That is the last thing I remember.

* * *

I wake up and am in my bedroom. The last thing I remember is slipping and falling on the water that was in the makeup center. I don't like a great deal of water, I don't think I will ever be able to go swimming again. I used to love going to the beach and swimming in the ocean but, now it just reminds me of the arena. Something else those games have taken from me.

I roll over. I don't know what time it is and I don't care either. After a few minutes I hear the door open and bolt up.

"It's okay Annie." Finnick says and sits next to me.

"What happened?" I ask.

"You fell down and hit your head."

I touch my head and feel a bump

"Don't worry you're fine it's just...

He trails off.

"Am I going to be okay." I ask worried.

"You're not hurt Annie." He smiles. "You just aren't allowed to leave the suite until the games start." He says.

"Why?"

"Snow doesn't want...

"I don't care what he wants." I mutter.

Finnick pushes my hair behind my ear and kisses my forehead.

"He doesn't want the citizens to see how affected you are from your games."

"Didn't you just tell you that he wanted to sell me for... stuff."

"He does, this deal isn't what it seems. You get sold and they can do whatever they want to, whether you want it or not." He says.

I gulp I know what he means and I feel worse.

"But... what did I do?" I ask again.

"I wasn't there but, from what I've been told you started screaming about water or something and tripped and fell on something. You were in some kind of strange trance. They couldn't get you out of it for a long time."

"I don't remember." I whisper.

"It doesn't matter you don't need to remember. All that you need to know is that you're alright and you're safe and that I love you." He tells me.

I hug him.

"That's all that matters." He whispers and kisses my forehead.

"That is all that matters." I whisper and kiss him.

I hug him tightly and he strokes my hair. I don't want him to leave but, I know he will have to soon. I'm not going to tell him this because I know he doesn't want to leave me and he will feel worse than he already does. I feel bad watching him leave because I won't know if the client he is going to see was one he had to see already or an extra one he has to see because he is protecting me.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

I tap my fingers against the table top. I'm not allowed to leave the room per President Snow's request and it gets boring when no one else is in the room. It can be very frightening as well. Apparently, when I fell down yesterday there was no water, I just thought there was. It makes me feel crazy and I think the other victors have these thoughts as well. I know I'm not crazy. At least I think I know.

I hear the elevator ding and pray it is Finnick. Him Luna and Mags are all doing official mentor business but I'm not allowed to leave the room until the games are over. But the person who comes into view isn't Finnick, it's his client from yesterday.

"Oh hello Annie." She giggles. I'm about to ask how she knows my name but because I'm a victor and the newest one to boot she would definitely remember me.

"Hello, Rin. Correct?" I say remembering her. Her skin seems very shiny today I'm assuming it is some type of makeup. She plops next to me and touches my hair.

"Does he talk about me then?" She asks excited.

"Does who talk about you?" I ask confused.

"Finnick, I mean... you know my name he must have mentioned me."

"He has." I say which isn't a lie. He said she wasn't as bad as other clients but, he has to see her one more time. Even though his reputation says he never sees the same girl twice that isn't true for Rin.

"Really?" She chirps "Maybe I have stolen his heart that is something no one else has achieved. Just imagine him on my arm or next to me forever. Isn't that a pretty picture Annie."

"Yes, it really is." I say with disgust. They really do only like him for his looks.

"Well... do you know where he is? I'm a bit early for our outing."

"He is doing something for the tributes."

She nods

"Oh right that. I wish he didn't have to then he could have more time to play." She smiles.

"Isn't that what we all want to... play." I say.

"So we should talk. You know Finnick better than any person in this room, just tell me Annie are the rumors true." She smiles and smooths my hair.

"Why all the women, yes I-

"No Annie not that and we all want to be with him because his selection pool is very high and know he only picks the best ones."

I nod. I'm sure she knows that is not entirely true because she is with him.

"Then what did you mean?" I ask confused.

"Annie c'mon you know what I mean. After all, word around the Capitol is you and Finnick had _fun_ on your Victory Tour. What I wouldn't have given to be with Finnick alone on a train for a month. Traveling and such it is almost a vacation."

I feel disgusted the reason I was on that train with him for a month was because I was in a place where I had to kill people. The people in the Capitol couldn't last a day in another District.

I know what she is implying and I don't like it.

"No Finnick and mines relationship is just professional." I say.

"Oh that's to bad. I wanted to know if everything people say about him in the bedroom is true." She smiles

I don't know how to respond so I just look at her strangely.

"You know Annie you're very fair." She says and she runs her fingers through my hair and places her hand on my inner thigh. She is starting to lean in I don't want her to kiss me. So I turn my cheek.

"Do you play hard to get Annie." She winks. I hear the elevator ding and hope that is Finnick to take her away from me.

"Rin I'm so sorry I kept you waiting." He says and is smiling.

"It's alright Finnick I was having some fun with Annie." She winks.

I shiver I want her to leave. I don't know how Finnick deals with these people. I guess it is because he knows it will keep Marci and Jason safe. My name is in the mix now too because he is taking on extra clients for me.

"Annie, the tributes will back in an hour. Luna and Mags can fill you in before they get back." Finnick says. I can tell he is trying not to laugh. He must think Rin trying to kiss me is funny.

"Thanks."

"You all done?" Rin asks him.

"Yes." He says

"Bye Annie it was fun." She says and kisses my cheek.

Finnick is laughing silently probably because of the uncomfortable look on my face. Why would you show so much affection to someone you just met.

_She does buy people to have sex with them. _I think.

"Let's go Miss. Rin." He says as hold out his hand and they head to the elevator.

Twenty minutes later I hear the elevator ding and see it is Mags and Luna. Luna heads straight to her room but Mags comes and sits with me.

"Hello Annie." She smiles.

"Hi Mags." I say. She sits next to me and strokes my hair.

"Are you alright?" She asks.

"Yes… I just want to go home." I say very calculated.

She smiles.

"I think we would all enjoy that but that is not the hand we were dealt."

"I know." I whisper.

"It will be over before you know it." She says.

We sit here in silence then I remember Finnick told me to ask them to fill me in on what is going on.

"Um... Finnick said I should ask what's going on with the tributes because I'm not... allowed to leave." I say.

"It's alright Annie, you're fine. Do you think you're fine?"

"Yes but-

"Then that is all that matters." She says.

"You tell Finnick the same thing don't you?"

She smiles.

"Yes. When he started doing this. It is hard to live a double life all the time Annie but, if he remembers who he truly is then everything will be fine."

"Well, what if he forgets?" I ask.

"He won't especially now." She says and looks at me.

"Why is that?"

"Because he has you." She says.

I smile.

"But, to answer your questions about the tributes nothing exciting has happened they are training right now. Luna, Finnick, and myself were just discussing about sponsors and things."

"How do you get sponsors?" I ask.

"More times than not they seek us about because we are considered a career District however, when we need to find some most of Finnick's clients want to help." She says and I can detect sadness in her voice.

"Oh..."

"But, sometimes people want nothing to do with our tributes usually when the score is low." She says.

"I see."

"Don't worry, I don't think that will happen this year at least not with Chase." She says.

"What about Maddy?" I ask.

"I'm sure she could do something." She says.

I nod.

I hear the elevator ding and can hear Aries talking.

"Splendid just splendid!" He says with joy.

When they come into view I can see Chase is rolling his eyes and Maddy looks bored.

"How did it go?" I ask.

"Just fine Annie." Aries tells me. Chase looks annoyed and I know it isn't at Aries.

"It went fine Annie." Maddy tells me.

"You two should wash up before dinner." Aries says Chase heads to his room but, Maddy hangs back.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about Maddy?" Mags asks her.

She looks down at her hands and picks her cuticles.

"I wanted to talk to Annie... alone." She practically whispers.

"Uh... sure we can go to your room." I say.

She looks up and smiles.

She takes me to her room and we sit on her bed.

"Maddy I don't know how helpful I can be for you." I tell her truthfully.

"I figured but, out of the other mentors you seem the most humane."

"What about Mags?"

"She's nice but, you're closer to my age."

"Oh..." I nod.

"Annie, I'm scared I know I'm going to die."

"Don't think that. I thought the same thing and here I am."

"Yes, but I think it was mostly luck that you won."

"I'm not going to argue with you but, I think you need some luck to win this game. It isn't all about skill."

"No, but you have a better shot at wining if you know what you're doing."

"Well, don't you?" I ask.

"Yes. I'm good at knife throwing but, I don't think that will impress _them_."

"The gamemakers? or the people from one and two?"

"The gamemakers."

"Don't worry you're from Four that already gives you a leg up." I smile.

She nods.

"Well at least I know I'm better than one person." She says.

"And who would that be?"

"The girl from seven, she just sat in the corner and cried all day. I felt sorry for her, I don't think it was shock Annie, she doesn't know how to do anything."

"She looks strong though."

"That doesn't mean she knows how to kill." Maddy points out.

"True, we should stop worrying about her though. Just focus on yourself and making friends for now. You should take a shower if you don't Aries will never let you hear the end of it." I smile.

She laughs.

I'm almost to the door when her voice stops me.

"Hey Annie?"

"Yes?"

"You're not what people say you are, you're gently and kind. You care about others."

I smile.

"Thank you."

I leave the room and head to mine at least Maddy likes me and finds me helpful and not a useless person. I just wish everyone else viewed me that way.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

It's dinner and I'm pushing the peas around my plate. I don't like being around Chase and I feel sick whenever he opens his mouth.

"So Luna, Mags, and Annie will go over tomorrow events." Aries says.

"Where's pretty boy?" Chase sneers.

"Helping you." Luna says.

"Yeah I'm sure that's true." He says sarcastically.

"Tomorrow is the individual evaluations, do you know what you might show the gamemakers?" Mags asks.

"Stuff." Chase sneers and gets up from the table and leaves.

"Do you have any idea Maddy?" Mags asks her.

"I don't know." She whispers.

"You said you were good at throwing knives right, just show them that." I suggest and smile. She smiles back.

"Won't every other person be showing them this?"

"It doesn't matter just do a good job, people are already betting on you. " Finnick says. While walking towards the table, I didn't even hear him come in.

"Is this true?" She looks to me for conformation but, I don't know. I'm sure Finnick would have the best guess though.

"If Finnick says it is I'm sure it is true." I tell her.

She looks Finnick up and down and looks at his wrinkled clothes and messy hair and her eyes are judging him. I must say I was doing the same thing last year however I saw through his facade quickly.

"Okay. I think I'm done for the night." She says and goes to her room.

Finnick comes and sits next to me and holds my hand.

"Is that true Finnick?" Luna asks him.

"Yes, mostly because of that Johanna girl. She is the talk among the Capitol they are all betting on her."

"Really, why?" I ask surprised.

"They are betting to see how long she will last. They are betting to the hour." He says with disgust.

"That's terrible." I say.

"That's the Capitol." Luna says and gets up and leaves.

"I think I'm going to go to bed." I say.

"I'll go with you." Finnick says.

"Goodnight." Mags tells us.

We head to my room.

"How was your day? Were you okay by yourself?" Finnick asks me concerned.

"I was fine. How was you're day, you don't look okay Finnick."

"What you mean this." He teases.

"Finnick I'm serious." I say.

He sighs.

"I'm fine Annie." I look at him doubtfully. "Really I am."

"You smell like cigarettes and look terrible-

"Yes, well Rin is a smoking client." He says and rolls his eyes.

"Is that like an option smoking or non-smoking." I tease.

He rolls his eyes and kisses my cheek.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too."

"I need to shower." He says.

"No one is stopping you." I say and motion towards the bathroom.

He gets off the bed and heads to the bathroom.

I hear the shower turn on and roll over. I know I shouldn't be wanting to sleep but the sound of the water is making my eyes heavy. I fight to stay awake so I can see Finnick more.

I roll over and hear the shower go off. I see Finnick come out his hair is messy and wet as if he just stepped off from the boat but, he just had a clean shower instead.

Finnick then falls back on the bed and I instinctively move closer to him. He puts his arm around my shoulder and I lace my fingers with his and lean next to him.

"Feel better?" I ask him.

He shrugs

"It was just a shower Annie ." He smiles

"Well I like it because you don't smell the cigarettes anymore." I say.

"I see." He says.

I sit here listening to him breathe in and out.

"What's it like?" I ask him.

"What's what like?" He asks confused.

"You know this whole deal thing, do they pay you by the hour or is it like a flat rate."

"Why, do you want to purchase me Annie?" He teases

"No. I'm just curious." I mumble.

"Well, it is usually a flat rate but, it depends how long they _rent _me." He says with disgust.

"I see, don't they know what they are doing is wrong."

Finnick turns and looks at me as if to study me.

"To the Capitol citizens everything and everyone is for sale. Anyone can be bought for the right price, that's how they see it anyways."

"That's not right shouldn't they know that."

"Annie, they like seeing people fight to the death for entertainment and they don't see anything wrong about it." Finnick says I can tell he is getting annoyed with all of these questions.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"It's fine. I don't really talk about this with anyone." He says.

"Well, you don't have to talk to me about it Finnick. I was just curious."

"But, I like talking to you. I feel like I could tell you anything." He says.

"And why is that?" I say with a smile.

"No idea but, if I start questioning it the whole system falls apart."

"System?" I ask confused.

"You know love life everything else in between."

"Oh, that system." I say.

"You sound disappointed Cresta what did you want me to say?"

"I don't know, I didn't think I sounded disappointed." I whisper.

"Maybe I'm reading into things."

"Are you disappointed Finnick?" I ask him. I'm almost afraid to hear his answer why else would he think I'm disappointed.

"I... no." He says.

"You don't sound sure." I say.

"I'm not disappointed. It's just... I wish somethings were different."

"Like what?"

He doesn't answer.

"Like what Finnick?"

"Not having killed someone. Not watching people die. Not having people buy me like I'm some... product." He shakes his head in disgust.

"We all have things to worry about some more than others." I say.

"I guess." He mumbles.

"You have me."I smile.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean there are worse things." He says.

"What?" I say.

"Wait that came out wrong. Annie, that's not what I meant."

"You're just putting up with me. There are worse things to do" I say. "I'm just convenient for you."

"Annie, no."

"Yes, I am, I'm such an idiot." I say and get up off the bed. I'm about to leave

"This is my room get out Finnick."

"But-

"Get out, just leave me alone."

"Annie-

"No. No Annie. No but. You know I'm tired of this Finnick. Even when I have you I don't actually have you."

"But, I'm not good being with new people. I just-

"Well, start learning, I can't tell you how to do everything Finnick. I can't keep waiting around and getting hurt and turning into some girl I hate."

"Girl you hate?" He asks confused.

"The one that pines and cries over a guy that doesn't even care about me."

"Annie, I do care about you." He says.

"Yeah but, there could be _worse _things than this." I say.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just meant this thing could be good _if_ things were different."

"Different?"

"Snow's deal... I just think maybe this isn't ideal." I say.

"So what?" I say.

"You're going to get hurt." He says and walks over towards me. "I don't want to be the one who hurts you."

"You're not going to hurt me Finnick. If anyone does the hurting around here it's going to be me." I say and tap his chest and he smiles. "I don't want something easy that would make it boring and won't make you appreciate it more.

"Annie-

"There's no one else I like more than you. There's no one else I have felt this secure with before. I want you and I don't want _good _or _good enough. _I want this, I want can't breathe, I can't live without this. I can't live without you and I don't know if that is what you feel but... this is enough for me Finnick. You're more than enough. You're everything to me." I say. I wait to hear is response, I'm strangely nervous.

"It just occurred to me that it might be too soon to stay all this stuff..." I say and look at the ground. I can hear Finnick trying to hold in laughter. He pulls up my chin so I can look at him. He kisses me.

"I love you." He says. "And I can't live without you, and I don't want to but-

"No buts Finnick." I hug him. "That's all that matters. You're all that matters."

I hug him and his body contours into mine perfectly.

"I love you." I say and hug him for a long time before I hear Finnick say.

"I love you too."

**A/N: Can't believe there are already 30 chapters :O. Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you are liking it!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

I wake up and notice I'm not on my soft plush bed that was in the Capitol but, I'm outside on the ground. I'm not in the Capitol either I don't know where I am. It looks mountainous. It looks like my arena.

I close my eyes.

_No that ended a year ago. You're back for mentoring. You won. _I think to myself but, before I know it I hear the Capitol anthem go off and it is showing the faces of the dead tributes and I recognize them. They were from my arena, they were in there with me but, they died.

"Cresta." I turn around and see Bruno.

"Good job getting that girl from seven, too bad about your District partner though."

"But... I... ran.. dead..."

"You okay?" He asks.

"What do you mean? I killed the girl from seven?" I ask with disbelief.

"Looks like Stevie was right you were in some murder trance. I mean look at all that blood on you, I wouldn't want to go up against you anytime soon that is." He smiles.

I look down and see the blood he mentioned and there is so much blood that my outfit is sticking to me like a second skin.

"This doesn't make sense though." I whisper.

"What?"

"Where's Finnick?" I ask him.

"Probably in the Capitol he sent us some nice parachutes if that is what you meant."

"But..." I start to feel dizzy.

_This isn't what happened. I ran away after he died. I sat and cried for the rest of the time and almost drowned. _I think to myself.

"I don't... I don't..."

"Cresta come on Stevie already doesn't like you, don't give her another excuse to kill you."

"But..."

Maybe it was just a dream. Maybe you were in the arena all along. Being with Finnick and winning the Hunger Games was just something I made myself believe so I wouldn't be as afraid to die.

"You're right let's go back to make camp." I say.

"Now you're talking." Bruno smiles.

We head back to camp and it is as if I never left the arena.

_Because you did never leave. _I think to myself.

The rest of the careers boast about the people they killed and praise me for killing the girl from seven so violently.

I sigh. I know I'm going to die but, that imagination felt so real. I can almost feel Finnick's lips still pressed against mine.

I offer to watch first mostly because I don't trust these people. The next day comes and we all kill more people. I don't go for anyone unless they ask me to because I don't want to kill people but, I don't want to seem like a weakling and now that I don't have Dan looking out for me it is just myself. It has always been anyways because only one can win.

It gets down to almost just us. I figure I should run away. I'm not strong enough to fight against them when the punches start rolling. I offer to take first watch and start to leave. Once I get far enough away I start to make my own camp until I hear someone step on a rock. I turn around but, not fast enough because Stevie has tackled me to the ground.

"Should've killed you sooner _Cresta _but, since Bruno had a little crush on you he kept insisting that we keep you alive until it is down to us. I knew you would try and run off. I've had my eye on you." She says with a knife to my neck. I try and push her face off of me but, it does no good she holds tighter onto my limbs.

"I don't want you to scream but, I still want to see the life drain from your eyes." She says and before I can say anything she wraps her hands around my neck. My lungs feel like they are fire because they are craving air. I push her face trying to get her to stop but it is no use, my face is turning hot and I feel like I'm drowning. My eyesight is starting to go. Then all I see is darkness.

* * *

I open my eyes and see a strange sense of light. I'm gasping for air because Stevie was trying to strangle me. I wonder what happened to her. I sit up and feel someone is next to me and they start to come near me.

"No, don't come near me. Please don't kill me." I shout. I move away from the person who I think is Stevie and fall off and hit my head but, not hard enough because I get up and run away. I find myself a cubby and stay there and hide rocking back and forth. After a few minutes I realize that I am in a closet, not in a mountain crack.

"But... they must have changed it." I whisper confused.

I hear footsteps coming this way and I put my hand over my mouth to cover my breathing.

"Annie?" The person says.

"Annie, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you." They say the voice sounds nice and comforting but, I know it isn't true. It's a trick they are going to kill you. I can feel hot tears run down my face. I don't know if it is because I'm afraid or annoyed by their trickery.

"Annie..." They say and slump next to the door. "I know you're in there, I'm not going to hurt you. Everything is alright, you're here with me Annie."

"With who?" I ask softly.

"Annie it's Finnick."

I shake my head.

"No, you're not here, you're not real. I'm not in the Capitol."

"Where do you think you are?" He asks me gently.

"In the arena."

"Annie no, you won last year. It was just a nightmare."

"No, it wasn't. You're lying, Stevie just tried to strangle me. You can't trick me." I tell him.

"Annie, that happened last year but, she drowned from the break of the dam."

I put my hands over my ears to drown him out everything he is saying is not true. You're in the arena still, you're not with Finnick and he has never loved you.

I can hear him trying to talk to me sill but, I grip my ears tighter and start humming to myself. I rock back and forth and can feel myself hit the wall. Finnick tries to open the door but, I have it blocked off.

I start crying harder and can feel the hot tears and snot running down my face. I want to go home.. I want them to leave me alone. I want to leave.

I feel something fall down my neck.

"What?" I say confused. I pick it up and see it is a necklace, it's a locket. It look vaguely familiar maybe I used it as my token.

"I wonder what's inside." I whisper.

I open it and a piece of paper falls out. It is crinkly around the corners. I open it carefully, I don't want to rip it. It reads _turn around._

"Turn around." I say confused. It takes me a minute before I realize what this is.

Turn around... The cheesy scavenger hunt Finnick did because he couldn't take me to the starry night festival. But did that really happen?

I move the barricade and hesitantly open the door. I see Finnick sitting next to it.

"Annie it's okay." He tells me I hold up my hand in a stop motion and he stops dead in his tracks.

"I got this from your scavenger hunt when you couldn't take me to the starry night festival right?" I say and hold up the locket.

"Yes."

"You love me?"

"With all my heart." He says with his classic smile.

"I didn't kill the girl from seven in the arena?" I ask.

"No, Bruno did that after you ran away."

I nod and know that everything he is telling me was true and that me in the arena was all false.

I rush over to hug him. I can start to feel the tears fall onto his shirt.

"It's okay. You're alright. You're safe here. You're safe with me." He says and kisses my forehead.

I don't say anything because I'm crying so hard. My legs start shaking and I almost fall down. Finnick picks me up and takes me back to the room. He holds me in his arms and I cry until I fall asleep.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

I wake up and my eyes are sore from crying so much. I see Finnick has his arms around me still. He looks at me and smiles. I wonder how long he was watching me sleep.

He kisses my forehead.

"Good morning Annie." He whispers in my ear.

"Morning." I whisper. I feel slightly embarrassed from what happened last night. I got confused about reality. I really thought that all of this was something I made up to make me feel better.

Finnick runs his thumb over my cheek.

"What's going on in that head of yours Annie." He whispers in my ear.

"I honestly have no idea." I say and sit up so I can get a better view of him.

"And why would you say that?" He smiles.

"Finnick come on look what happened last night." I say.

"What happened last night?" He smiles.

"Finnick come on. I thought this was fake, I thought you weren't real. I thought me being in the arena was happening but that wasn't true."

"It's okay Annie." He says nonchalantly like I was late for something.

"Finnick." I say slightly annoyed.

"Annie it's okay, you're alright."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Normal people aren't like this."

"Annie I'm going to let you in on a little secret being normal is very overrated." He says and his lips briefly touch mine.

"But, I want that." I say

"Well, Annie you do have that."

I roll my eyes.

"I'm serious." He says

"How am I 'normal'." I say

"You have people who care about you."

"How does that make me normal?"

"Because almost anyone can say that."

"I don't feel normal. Normal people can tell when something is a dream or not." I mutter.

He shrugs

"As I said being normal is overrated."

I don't think he is right I would do anything to be normal. How can someone love me when I am so… different.

"Why do you love me?" I ask abruptly.

"What?" He says confused

"I need to know why you love me." I say.

"It's not because you're normal that's for sure." He smiles. "You're smart and kind and have a natural ability to care for others. You never expect anything in return for something you do it, you just do it to help. You're dedicated to the people who you love and trust. You make me feel like I should be like that and no _normal_ person would be that helpful or caring. A _normal_ person wouldn't put as much effort as you do into things."

I smile and hug him tightly

"Hold on why do you love me?" He asks in a joking tone but, I can tell he truly wants to know. It isn't that strange when most people who _love _him do because they find him 'pretty'

"You're also a nice person more so than most. You're smart too, I like how you are around Jason and Marci. How you love your family. You can always spin something as positive or make a joke to easy the tension and most important you're there for me. You've always been here and I think you'll always be here." I say and leans in and kiss him.

He stops kissing me.

"Oh and you're not terrible to look at." I smile.

"I knew it, it was the pretty boy charm." He teases.

He leans in and kisses me again this time the kiss has more passion. I stop kissing him and just hold him again.

After ten minutes there is a knock on the door and it is Aries telling us to get the common room at once.

"He never does this." Finnick says.

"What do you think he wants?" I ask. I hope it isn't about last night. Aries saw me after I won and on the Victory Tour he should know I'm… abnormal.

"We won't know until we leave." Finnick says and gets off the bed.

I smile and laugh slightly.

"What?" He asks.

"You have an intense case of bedhead."

He rolls his eyes and messes with my hair.

"Now so do you." He kisses my forehead.

"Let's go see what Aries wants." He says

I put my hair up because I'm not going to let anyone see me like this.

"About done?" Finnick smiles.

"Hey I don't want Aries judging me."

"He's from the Capitol that is like his job" He smiles and holds our his hand which I happily take and we was out to the common room. Mags and Luna are both here and both are still in there jammies too. I don't think this happens very often.

"Good now that we are all here we need to talk about the situation."

"What situation?" Luna asks annoyed.

"The Maddy situation." He says

"What's the Maddy situation?" I ask

"No one like her." Aries says.

"I'm sure that's not true." I say.

"This is true Annie everything is backwards this year because they keep talking about that weakling."

"Do they think she will win or something?" Mags asks she sounds hopeful maybe she wants the poor girl I win.

"No like Finnick said they are betting intensely down to the minute of when she will die."

"It used to be an hour now to the minute that is... interesting." Finnick says.

"People are just throwing away money that easily." I whisper.

"They aren't throwing it away Annie, they are making an investment." Aries says.

"Well what do the mentors think of this Johanna?" I ask. I know they all visit with one another I'm not allowed to leave the room so it makes it hard for me to make friends.

"Most don't even know her name." Luna says. "Especially the mentors from One and Two." She says. I always wondered if she volunteered. She has the fighting skills hence the scar on her face but she doesn't seem very ruthless.

"Well at least that is something." Aries says relieved.

"What does this have to do with Maddy again?" I ask this is how the conversation started.

"She is just another face, she might as well be from District 12." He says.

"Don't you think this is premature Aries the scores haven't even been shown yet." Mags says.

"Well, I think we should be prepared, Finnick I'm assuming you're going to be leaving later like usual, so I think you should try and do some damage control."

"Okay but-

"Splendid!" He says before Finnick has answered. "The tributes will be awake soon maybe, you should all make yourselfs look _presentable_." He says and his eyes linger on Finnick for a minute because of the bed head. I laugh and try to hide it with a cough but, I think I only convinced Aries.

He gets up to leave.

"So what are we really going to do?"

"Wait for the scores and then worry about her. Aries may think he knows what's best but really he doesn't." Luna says and leaves.

"Do you two think his too?" I ask.

"We can't magically change their mind." Mags says

Finnick opens his month to say something.

"No matter what you do Finnick it won't change their mind, not really." She says gently.

He nods even though it looks like he wants to say more.

"I should get going anyways I have an early client today." He says and walks back to the bedrooms so it is just Mags and myself.

She smiles at me.

"Are you going to be alright by yourself Annie?" Mags asks me, that must mean she heard me last night. Which means everyone else did too.

I shouldn't be surprised, I was screaming and sobbing loudly.

"I will have to be, the rest of you have important things to be doing." I say while looking at my feet.

"Not necessarily. I could ways stay here with you Annie" She says and I look up at her.

"Don't the people in the Capitol have to see you."

She smiles

"People don't care about an old crow like me. It's all about the new victors and the glitz and glamour." She smiles.

"You could really stay with me."

"If that is what you want."

I smile.

"I would like that very much." I say.

"Good. I know the feeling of loneliness Annie, especially here, it is not a good feeling." She says

"Luna was your first wasn't she?"

She nods.

"I have seen many good people die here because of this." She says.

"Did she volunteer?" I ask.

"Yes, she is kinder than she used to be. The games and mentoring have softened her. That doesn't happen to the volunteer victors usually."

"So she is better than the others?"I ask.

"People react to things differently. None of us are the same. We all deal with the aftermath of our games in our own way." She smiles.

"I see." I say.

Finnick comes out ten minutes later.

"Time to leave." He says.

He walks over to me and kisses me.

"You'll be okay by yourself Annie." He says this but, it sounds like he is asking me.

"Don't worry she will has some company today." Mags says.

Finnick looks relieved when he hears this.

"Good, that's good." He says.

"I'll be backwater probably after the training sessions." He says and heads to the elevator. I feel sad watching him leave to do who knows what with strange people.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

I get very bored when no one is around so I usually just fall asleep if I can. I like the feeling that someone else is here with me though. Mags is easy to talk to, she has that warm personality. She reminds me of my mother.

I have fallen asleep on the couch in the common room Aries is probably going to yell at me because I'm supposed to be thinking of ways I can help the tributes. I don't know how else I could help them especially since I'm not allowed to leave the room. I'm awake now but, can't bring myself to open my eyes because I feel so comfortable.

I hear the elevator ding and can hear people walk over here. I can hear one of them hiccup.

"So this is where _he _is keeping her." I hear someone slur in a voice that sounds familiar.

"Yes." Finnick says. I can feel him brush my hair.

"How is she? People talk Finnick." He says. He sounds incapacitated I think it is one of the mentors, which means I met them on the Victory Tour.

"I know Haymitch but, she doesn't need to know that."

"She isn't stupid." He grumbles.

"How would you know?" He says annoyed.

He snorts.

"Just because she isn't all there doesn't mean she isn't smart."

"She's fine." Finnick says defensively.

"You really do love her then." Haymitch says.

"What does that matter?" Finnick asks.

"Because no one else would say that." Haymitch says.

"That's not true." Finnick says.

"If you didn't love her you wouldn't say that." Haymitch says.

"What do you know about love? I thought you weren't capable of that emotion."

Haymitch snorts again.

"Maybe." He says.

It is silent. I feel like I should open my eyes but, then I know they would stop talking about me.

"What do people say about her?" Finnick asks after awhile.

"Do you really want to know?" Haymitch asks. I get a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. What do these people think of me?

"That bad?" Finnick says.

"It's probably not as bad as you are thinking, although the crazy word is thrown around a lot."

"She isn't crazy." Finnick whispers.

"Beetee would love to talk with her for an hour to see how she is around new people."

"Well, he will not get the chance. Annie is not one of his experiments." Finnick says angrily.

"True but, he won't see it that way." Haymitch says.

I can feel Finnick stoke my hair.

"They also say she doesn't understand the difference between reality and fantasy, is that true?" Haymitch asks. Finnick's hand freezes on my head. I'm curious to hear what he is going to say about this.

"That's... that's...

"Looks like that part is true then." Haymitch says and I can detect sadness. I want to tell him I don't want his pity because he clearly thinks I'm already completely bonkers.

"She sometimes thinks that everything she knows is true even if it is false. When this happens she thinks everything everyone tells her is a lie because she believes that she and she alone knows the truth." Finnick says sadly.

_Do I really do this? _I think to myself.

"Dumb that down for me I have been drinking."

"When are you not." Finnick scoffs. "For example we are in the Capitol right now correct?" Finnick asks.

"Of course." Haymitch says.

"If she thought we were in District Four she would think that no matter how much you or I or anyone told her this was the Capitol. This is because she thinks she is true. Her mind thinks she is true even though everyone else knows she's not."

"So what, do you just play along with her fantasies ?" Haymitch pauses. "Is that why you tell her you love her because she thinks you do but, you really don't."

I have no idea if I do these things. I know I sometimes get confused but, I don't always think false things are true. To hear Haymitch say that Finnick does not love me breaks my heart. He would just be pretending to be in love with some poor crazy girl. I feel like crying just at the thought.

"Of course not, that would be a terrible thing to do." Finnick says offended.

"Well, you can't say it wasn't that crazy of an assumption." Haymitch mumbles.

"Don't you have somewhere you need to be?" Finnick says clearly trying to get rid of him.

Haymitch sighs.

"I think Snow keeping her in here is more of a disadvantage to her personally. Keeping her in here is confirming what people already think of her-

"Haymitch get out." Finnick says angrily.

"I was just saying."

"I don't care just leave." He says.

Haymitch sighs and I can hear him walk away. Finnick strokes my hair again.

"He's crazy for thinking I would do something so terrible to you." Finnick mumbles. "None of them matter either, because they don't know her, the real her. Just like most of them don't know me." Finnick says. He gets up and leaves and I can hear him talking with Mags, probably about me. I hear the elevator ding and hear Aries and the tributes come in.

"Annie wake up!" Aries shouts.

I open my eyes and sit up slowly.

"You shouldn't be sleeping. You're supposed to be trying to figure out ways to help them." He motions towards Maddy and Chase.

"I'm sorry I must've dozed off but don't worry I thought of many ideas in my dreams." I smile.

Aries sighs but Maddy is smiling.

"How did it go?" I ask them.

"It was fine. Do you know where Luna is?" Chase sneers

"How could she, when she has been sleeping." Aries says.

They both leave and it is just Maddy and myself.

"How did it go?" I ask her.

"Okay I think." She says

"What did you show them?" I ask.

"I thought I wasn't supposed to tell."

"Oh… I think you're allowed to with your mentors. I did last year." I smile.

"I just threw some knives and put up some traps." She says "Do you think that is enough?" She asks worriedly.

"It sounds like it was and that sounds like what I did. I got a good score." I smile.

"I hope so." She says.

"Well there is nothing that can be done now. You did it, just be happy about that."

She smiles.

"I should probably shower, I don't like this training stuff." She says

I nod and she gets up to take her shower.

I sit here by myself for a few minutes and then Finnick comes out here.

"Hi." He says.

"Hi." I say and rest my head on his shoulder and hold his hand.

I hear someone clear their throat. I look up and notice it is Luna and she is shaking her head. Finnick let's go of my hand and I look at him confused.

"We're supposed to act professional remember." He says

"Until everyone is asleep then you can do _whatever_." Luna says.

"Chase was looking for you." I tell her.

She nods and heads towards his room.

"Were you okay while I was gone?" He asks me.

I nod.

"I liked being with Mags but, if I'm honest I mostly slept on this couch."

"I know. I saw you here when I came up." He says.

I nod. I knew this already but, he fails to mention that Haymitch was with him.

"Finnick?"

"Mmh?" He says

"How often do you see the other mentors."

"Depends... certain ones every day. Why do you ask?"

I shrug.

"I'm just curious what you do when you aren't with clients."

"Mostly boring stuff. Interviews of our own to talk about our tributes. Looking for sponsors and yes seeing the other mentors." He smiles.

"Sounds…

"It's usually boring." He says

"Are these other mentors your friends?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"I think acquaintances would be better. I only see them once a year after all."

"That's true." I say.

"I wouldn't wish harm to any of them though."

"I know you're a good person." I say. I want to kiss him but I'm not supposed to.

A few hours later they show the scores and they both did well. Chase got a ten and Maddy got an eight which is a good score. It is the lowest in the career pack but she will still be able to get sponsors.

Aries stopped worrying about that Johanna girl once he saw the two flash underneath her name. I think that is the lowest in Hunger Games history. How can someone get such a low score.

After this Finnick and I go to bed. I lay down and Finnick is finally allowed to hold me again. I feel safe when I am in his arms. I feel like nothing has hurt me and nothing will ever hurt me again.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

The interviews are today and I'm still not allowed to leave. I will be watching it on the screen like every other citizen.

I head out to the common room and see Diana and Dean already to start their work on Maddy. I sit down on the couch and watch them get the supplies ready for her. I feel a tap on my shoulder and jump.

I see it is Finnick and he is almost laughing at me.

"Don't do that." I say.

"I'm sorry, truly I am." He says in a voice clearly not meaning it and I can tell he is trying not to laugh.

I roll my eyes.

"I don't think this is very _professional_ Mr. Odair." I tease.

"Oh right, my apologies Miss. Cresta."

"When are you leaving?" I ask him sadly. I know he will have a client soon.

"Trying to get rid of me already are we?" He teases.

"Finnick come on." I say.

"I only have one today and it is timed. It won't last longer than two hours." He smiles.

I nod not knowing what to say.

"Don't be sad this means I get to spend more time with you." He smiles.

I smile I don't want to ask how he can stay so positive because I think he himself doesn't know the answer.

"Don't you have to leave to do mentor business though?" I ask.

"Not really." He pauses "Tomorrow you have mentor business though."

"I thought I wasn't allowed to leave until the games were over." I say confused.

"No you leave when the games start to ensure you will be watching." He says disgusted.

"How will they know?" I ask confused.

"The hive." He says

"What's that?" I ask confused

"You'll see tomorrow. It's easier to see than explain."

"Is it bad?" I ask.

"I'll wait for you to decide." He says but, I think he knows my answer.

"But let's not worry about that now." He smiles.

"Okay." I smile and hug him not caring if this isn't _professional_ according to Luna's standards.

He rests his chin on my head and I pull him closer to me so he is as close as possible.

"I love you." I whisper into his chest.

He rubs my back.

"I love you but, I have to be going. Mentor stuff." He says before I can ask.

"Okay." I say and he kisses me cheek.

"Everyone else will be gone because of the makeup and stuff for Caesar's interviews. I will be back in an hour probably because a client will be coming to see me. Then everyone will come back shortly after I leave."

I nod.

"You'll be okay by yourself." He reassures me.

"I know." I say and kiss his lips soft and slow. He stops kissing me even though I wish he would never stop.

"Can't have anyone seeing us we have to act _professional_." he says holding in laughter.

I hug him once more tightly before he has to leave.

After he leaves we have a quick breakfast and like Finnick says everyone else follows suit and leaves.

I sit in the couch in the common room bored.

After thirty minutes I hear the elevator ding and wonder who it is. I don't think Finnick would be back this son.

"Oh Annie hello." She smiles Finnick's client who is early like the others. I get the feeling they come early so they can spend more time with him but, he is never here.

"Where is he?" She asks more demanding than the others.

"Doing mentor stuff." I say.

"And why aren't you?" She smiles.

"Someone has to stay behind." I smile awkwardly.

She sits next to me and is too close for comfort.

"Yes they do." She whispers in my ear and looks at me with fire in her eyes.

"I actually have something I need to be doing. I'm sure you will be fine by yourself." I tell her. I want to get away from her.

I get up but, she forcefully grabs my arm and pulls me back down.

"Where are you going?" She asks me.

"I have-

"If you want to leave Annie just say so. I can't make _you_ stay." She smiles.

I shiver I wonder if this is how they act around Finnick so forceful so demanding. I'm too busy thinking about this that I don't even notice when she gets close to me and starts to kiss me roughly. I can feel her tongue exploring my mouth and moving all the way to the back of throat, invading me.

I have only been kissed by two people and they were never this rough. Filled with passion yes but. always gentle and kind.

She stops kissing me and I back away from her gasping for air.

"It's too bad I can't buy you." She whispers "I have a feeling you would be lots of fun. You seem so innocent, I would love to change that." She smiles devilishly

"Stop leave me alone." I whimper with my chin trembling.

She smiles.

"I usually respect a ladies wish but, to see that no one else is here and Finnick is late-

"You're early." I say afraid.

"You say tomato I say tomato. Does it real matter, you should never keep a lady waiting." She smiles.

She runs her finger across my cheek and I look away.

"To think of all the things I would do to you." She says and places a hand on my inner thigh and kisses me again. I try to get her off of me but she is too forceful too strong. I can feel her hand moving up my thigh.

I hear the elevator ding but, she doesn't stop kissing me until someone takes her off me. I look up and see Finnick. Who else would it be.

"What are you doing?" He asks angry.

"Are you talking to me or her?" She says. She stokes my hair and I flinch.

"I'm talking to you, who else would it be? You have me not her and-

"That's only because I can't buy her! I got stuck with you!" She shouts.

"No one made you do this." Finnick spits back.

"You may have all the other Capitol girls fooled but, I only wanted her. Look at that perfect face, that perfect creamy skin. She is so much better than you. The only reason I bought you was to get to her." She says and strokes my hair. Her arm starts to move up my inner thigh and Finnick grabs her forcefully from the couch.

"You can't touch her! No one can!" Finnick shouts and the whole room is very quite, so quite that you could hear a pin drop.

I have never seen him so angry. It is completely justified but, it's strange.

The girl laughs a laugh that is very cold and causes goosebumps to form on my skin.

"I guess that is true." She looks back at me. Then to Finnick "Not even you." She smiles.

"Your time has started. Do you want to waste it sitting here talking or do _whatever_ you bought me for." He says angrily again

"Fine, you're coming back with me unless you want to take his place Annie." She smirks and says in an inviting.

"No she doesn't." Finnck says before I can answer.

"I believed I asked her." She smiles.

"That's not part of the deal." He snarls.

"Maybe, but if Snow saw how _satisfying_ she was with one client I think he might change his mind. Besides, I would love to be the first to take Annie."

I know what she is doing, she is manipulating me so I will do what she wants.

She starts to walk near me again but Finnick grabs her arm forcefully and tightly, so tight I think she might have bruises the next morning.

"You're wasting _your_ time."

She looks at his hand.

"Fine then let's go, oh and Annie you're just making it worse." She smiles. Finnick drags her to the elevator. I can hear her say something else but, I don't catch it.

I wonder what she is going to do to him. I wonder what she was going to do to me. I lie down on the couch and hold a pillow to my chest and start crying. Not because some stranger forcefully kissed me but, because I think this is what always happens when Finnick leaves to see people. That they are so forceful so demanding so rough. They don't care about him, they just see him as _their_ play thing to _own_ for a certain amount of time.

Used and abused for the rest of his life and this is a perfect example of something that was my fault because she wanted me. Not him.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Finnick makes it back to the room and he looks the same as he always does when he comes back from a client. He walks over to me and I can see he has a strange look in his eyes that isn't usually there.

"Are you okay Annie?" He asks me.

"I'm fine... what did she do to you?"

"Nothing that hasn't happened before, did she do anything to you?" Finnick asks. I can see fire in his eyes. I don't know why he is asking, it's not like he can do anything.

"She just kissed me." I look down at the ground.

"Is that all?" He asks. He still sounds furious. She did kiss me without my consent and not nicely either.

I nod.

"She wasn't nice." I say.

"I wouldn't expect _her _to be." He says.

"What does that mean?" I ask him.

"It doesn't matter." He says. "I should file a report." He mutters to myself.

"File a report?" I ask confused.

"There are a few rules Annie, not many. She broke one of them by touching you. Snow gave me his word that this wouldn't happen to you. She broke the rule so she will get the rightful... punishment."

"Don't get her killed." I say.

"Relax I don't want that. Snow wouldn't kill her. She'll probably get put on the list."

"The list?"

"People who are no longer able to purchase the products Snow is pushing."

"You mean victors?" I ask.

"He sells other things and other people." Finnick says.

"What else does he sell?" I ask.

"Does it matter?"

"Not really, I was just curious." I say.

"It's mostly people ,to always for sex sometimes just as slaves. It is also rare valuables, and various types of drugs, mostly illegal stuff. Ironic isn't it?" He smiles in disgust. "I know this client likes to buy drugs and people, putting her on the list will be punishment enough. " He says.

"Oh." I say and find my arms wrapping around him. I feel like crying because of how terrible all of this is.

"Come here." Finnick says. He takes my hand and takes me back to my room.

I sit down on the bed and he leans into me and wraps his arm around me.

"Are you okay?" He asks

"I'm fine." I say. Which is the truth, I don't care that, that girl kissed me. I just keep thinking about Finnick which causes a tear to fall down my cheek.

"Annie." He says comforting me and rubs my back. "Don't worry, you're safe here and no one will do anything like that again." He says.

"I don't care about that."

Finnick looks at me strangely.

"Then what's wrong?" He asks confused.

"You." I say.

He let's go of me thinking the wrong thing.

"No, not that." I say but, he doesn't put his arms back around me. "Is this how it always? Are they all that terrible?" I ask and start crying. He places his hands back on me and rubs my shoulder.

"No." He says

I look at him to see if he is telling the truth and I can tell he is.

He is looking at me probably wondering what else I will say but, I don't know what to say so he starts talking.

"She is part of a special group of clientele." He says.

"What does that mean?"

"Each client has different _desires _most of them are... normal but, Cynthia it typecasted in the group who likes things to be... different." He says carefully.

"Different what does that mean?" I ask. A part of me doesn't want to know the answer.

"Different." He says again.

"Is that all you can give me, different?" I ask.

"I don't want you to know." He says.

"Finnick-

"No." He says and I can tell this is the final word.

"Fine." I say angry.

What could she do that was so bad, he obviously isn't in a terrible amount of pain. The roughness of that kiss makes me think the rest would be like that. She said she could have fun with me because I was so innocent. It seemed like she got pleasure of seeing me scared. Her looking at Finnick's hand as he held tightly onto it made her smile. The way she left made me think she was going to torture him or something. It seemed like she wanted to torture me. Is that what her strange sexual desire is torturing people during or before sex. Why would she do that? Finnick doesn't look hurt, then again I can't see all of his body. Who knows what is underneath those clothes.

He looks at me.

"They like the pain. Inflicting it and receiving it. These clients usually want Enobaria."

"Why?" I ask.

"The teeth." He says nonchalantly.

"Oh." I say shocked. After she won she got her teeth filed into fangs because she won by ripping out the other tributes juggler. She is from District Two and volunteered. I'm not surprised about her getting the teeth. I can assume why they want her for that because those teeth could probably draw blood.

He doesn't need to explain any further. I don't really want him to.I hug him tighter and I think he knows I don't want or need to hear anymore. He kisses my forehead.

"I don't want you to leave." I whisper.

Finnick strokes my hair, my head is now on his lap. I know he has to leave but, I don't want to and I don't want to go watch the Hunger Games tomorrow. I don't want to watch people get murdered. I start crying at the thought.

"It's okay Annie." He whispers.

"I can't watch them. I can't watch that." I say.

"It will be alright, I will be right there. I won't have to leave you alone, not there." He says.

He leaves in a few hours because he has to go down for the interviews. I don't bother turning on the t.v I don't want to watch and for this I don't have to. That changes tomorrow though because I have to watch people fight to the death and see blood splatter. I close my eyes and see the blood splatter in my head. I go to the bathroom and get sick and stay there on the floor bawling my eyes out. I don't know if I passed out from anxiety or if I feel asleep all I do know is that when I wake up I am in my bed and Finnick is next to me. I feel safe.

* * *

"Let's go Annie." Finnick whispers in my ear and places a strand of hair behind my ear.

I nod.

The tributes left ten minutes ago and we have to head down to where we view the games. Finnick calls it the hive he says I will know why when I see it. We head to the elevator and Finnick grabs my hand like he did when he took me down to get sent into the arena. He presses the _GF _button which is the same floor where the training center is.

We don't say anything this is the first time I have been out of that room and all of the people are a little overwhelming or it could be because I don't want to be here.

Finnick stops in front of a door and then opens it and know we are in the hive. I understand why he calls it that now because it looks like a beehive. It is made from shiny metal that has a blue tint to it. It is wider on the bottom and gets smaller as the floors go up. I notice there are twelve floors I'm assuming one for each District but, they aren't all the same size. I wonder if it is better to be in a bigger section or a smaller one, I guess I'm about to find out.

Before we enter though a device pops up in front of the door. Finnick places his hand on it and it scans it, I think it injects something into him. It turns green and the doors open for him.

"What is it?" I ask afraid.

"It's scanning your DNA and then it will inject a drug into you so you can stay awake until our tributes are dead." He says.

I don't do anything maybe because I'm too afraid. Finnick touches my hand and places it on the scanner.

"Annie Cresta Victor of 70th Hunger Games District Four." A robotic voice says and then I feel a slight pinch and the door turns green and opens for me to walk through.

We walk through and we are on the first floor I see ones everywhere and some of the victors from One. They have lots of screens and they all have different camera angles for the arena. It looks like they also have a large list of things that they can purchase with their sponsor money.

I look up and see the structure of the hive. There is a giant beam in the middle and all twelve floors are being supported by it. If you would stand in the center I'm sure you would get a good view of all of them. I see an elevator off to the side and Finnick leads us that way. The doors open and I notice there are no buttons. I'm about to ask why but, then a device pops out and Finnick presses him thumb to it.

"District 4." A robotic voice says. One pops out in front of me and I do the same thing he did.

"District 4." The voice repeats.

The elevator gets shot up and in less than a minute it opens and we are on our floor. I can see fours everywhere and it is not as big as District One's floor but, it is still a decent size. We have four desks, I'm assuming one for each mentor. I didn't count to see how many the people from One had. We have less screens and less views of camera angles and it looks like our list for buying things is shorter too. Finnick walks off to one of the desks but, I walk to the rail near the opening of the structure.

I look up and can see the floors get smaller and smaller as I could already tell but, from what I can see they also have less equipment to use. It looks like the bigger the floor the bigger the advantage. I can see up to District Six and it is pretty small. I wonder what District Twelve looks like.

Finnick comes back over here and touches my hand.

"You need to be registered to a desk." He says.

"What?" I say confused.

"It's to monitor to see how much you do." He says.

"What if I don't do anything, will I get in trouble?" I ask nervously.

"No, you won't get in trouble but, you should at least mess with your screen. Don't worry it will be right next to mine." He tells me.

He takes my hand and walks me over to a desk. It is just a desk there is nothing special about it or on it.

"Sit down." Finnick tells me.

"Why?"

"Just do it Annie." He tells me gently.

I do and screens and a keyboard pop out. The screens look like they are made out of glass and the keyboard looks like it is a hologram. There are three screens. They are all a decent size they just have Four's on the screen circling around in the middle.

"What now?" I ask him.

"Just wait." He tells me.

In a minute the screen flashes to life and something is scanning me again. The screens then says my name, district, and year I won. The screens start to change and each one is different.

"That one is going to zone in on Maddy." He says and presses the screen it is a touch screen and does something when he touches it. I can see his name on the screen now too.

"That one will show Chase and that one will show money flow from the sponsors, there will always be a supply list on the left hand side. Anyone can buy anything at any time. As long as we have the money." He explains.

"That's why I got the REGRow from Luna."

He nods.

"She is smart, I didn't think of it." He says.

"That's pretty much it." He says.

"Wait, what are those screens for?"

I point to the seven screens on the wall.

"Those show all the views of the arena. When the games start there will be a hologram in the hole of the hive. It will be projecting what Panem is seeing. This way we will always see what the most _entertaining _thing is going on in the arena." He says.

I nod.

I hear the elevator open and see it is Mags and Luna back from bringing the tributes to their tubes. They get themselves situation at their own desk.

_Mentors lockdown will begin in 60 59 58..._

"What's lockdown?" I ask nervously.

"They are locking us in so we can't leave until our tributes are dead." Luna says.

_30, 29, 28... _

"That doesn't seem safe."

"Annie relax if there was an emergency they would let us out besides, they give us the necessities we need." Finnick says gently.

A red light starts to flash and I hear a loud cranking noise.

_10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Lockdown initiated the 71st Hunger Games will start in five minutes. _A voice says.

"So we just wait then?" I ask.

"Correct." Mags says.

I feel myself shaking a little.

Finnick walks over to me.

"Annie, don't worry it will be fine." He whispers in my ear.

"I don't feel fine."

"Don't worry you don't have to look at the screens." Finnick tells me.

"I'm locked in here 24/7 and you said I won't be able to sleep. I will have to look at them eventually Finnick." I say annoyed.

"You're right but, maybe try and avoid the blood bath and don't worry I'll be right next to you." He says and kisses my forehead.

I nod. I don't know what to say.

The hologram screen in the middle starts to show us the arena. This is what all of Panem is seeing, I notice Mags, Luna, and Finnick aren't looking at this projection but, the ones on the walls. I just look at the one in the middle. The arena is nothing special this year, it is mostly all woods but, that probably means the gamemakers will have lots of traps up their sleeves.

They start to countdown and I know I should stop looking at the screen because I don't want to see the blood flying everywhere but, just like I knew I should've looked away at my recaps I don't look away now and I soon regret it.

I see knives, swords, axes, arrows, and more weapons going lots of places. I see blood flying everywhere and people dying left and right. They zone in on the tribute from One wielding a mace and they shove it right into the face of another tribute. I'm reminded of Dan and his head flying off. I start to hear a screaming noise, thinking it is coming from the screens but, it's not. It's coming from me.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"It's okay Annie." Finnick soothes me. "You're safe here."

I know this but, I start crying anyways. I can hear blood splatter and screams of people getting murdered. I grasp onto Finnick as if my life depended on it and bury my face in his chest and cry loudly.

"It's alright Annie." He kisses my forehead and strokes my hair. "Shhh it's alright."

You can hear my screams and sobs because this place echoes. I wonder if that is so we can hear one another.

"Shut up!" I hear someone yell from below us. I have a feeling it was someone from One or Two. I don't think the people from Three care.

One of our screens start glowing green at the top, then the picture changes. I see it is Cashmere from One.

"Odair!" I hear her shout. Finnick glances over at her even though I have an iron grip on him.

"What do you want Cashmere?" He asks. He sounds angry.

"Keep her quiet or I will after this is over. We all know it was her. cra-

Mags presses a button and we can no longer hear what she is saying. She is still talking though and I catch her calling me something from below. I wonder if the other victors say this as well. I remember what Haymitch said to Finnick how people throw around the word crazy.

Cashmere fades away and I see the outline turn green again and I notice a two flashing.

"Just disable the video feed. I have a feeling this will happen again." Luna says.

Mags presses a button and it goes back to showing the arena.

"Do they all say that?" I whisper to Finnick.

Finnick takes my hand and we walk to the other side of the room further away from Mags and Luna. Probably so they can't hear us.

"Say what?" He asks clearly knowing what I meant. He probably heard her too.

"You know what Finnick, do they all say that instead of Annie Cresta they just say…" I don't want to say it.

"It doesn't matter what they call you, Annie these people don't matter. None of them matter." He tells me.

"They all say it then." I say with my chin trembling and a few tears roll down my face.

"No, mostly the people from One and Two and other victors who are just cynical. Not everyone is bad, just look at Luna." He says. I understand what he means she doesn't look very friendly and yet she has her moments. Mags said she volunteered but doing this softened her. I get the feeling that she might call me that though.

"Do you think that Finnick…do you think I'm crazy?" I ask

"Of course not." He says and kisses my cheek. Which still has tears on it.

"I want to believe you, especially after hearing your talk with Haymitch but-

"Talk with Haymitch?" He pauses. "You were awake." He says. He doesn't sound very surprised maybe he knew.

"Even he thinks I've lost it. I bet he calls me crazy Cresta too." I say.

"Haymitch doesn't call you that."

"I bet he thinks it. I bet they all do... even you Finnick."

"No, I don't." He says and hugs me. "I don't think that Annie. I never have and I never will. No matter what happens. I love you. That is something that will always be true." He says and kisses my forehead.

My chin is trembling and I start crying. I don't know if it is what Finnick is saying or the crazy Cresta nickname but, I do believe him.

"One thing is also true Annie." He says and I look up at him fresh tears on my face and on his shirt.

"I need you." He says. I push him closer to me and he rubs my back. I don't know how long he hugs me before I let go. He holds onto my hand and walks us to the desks. He presses some buttons on my screen and the video feeds shrink so I can barely see them.

He smiles.

"There, that's better." He says and places my hair behind my ear and kisses me.

"I guess." I say. I think of Maddy though. So kind and innocent. I feel like if I didn't help her I would be letting her down and I will feel guilty. I can't sit in the corner crying for the whole time. These games usually last a few weeks.

I tap the screen that is supposed to be showing Maddy and it goes back to the normal size. She is with the careers even though she doesn't trust them, just like me. I hope she knows that she should run away when her instincts tell her to. No one should get too comfortable in this _game_.

"What are you doing?" Finnick asks me.

"I like her. If I don't do anything I will feel worse if she… doesn't win." I say.

Finnick nods and kisses my cheek. He doesn't go to his desk. They are far apart from one anyone probably because certain tributes want to be trained individually.

The cannons start to go off and the wall projects the dead tributes just like in the arena except after the canons are finished a number stays on the wall.

"Interesting." Luna says.

"What?" Mags asks

"That girl from seven is still alive. I thought she would die in the blood bath, especially after that two." Luna says.

"She could've just ran away not bothering to get supplies." I say.

"Possibly." Luna says.

I notice on the wall it is projecting the number 15 that many people didn't die.

Luna sees my gaze.

"Number left."

"Oh." I say.

"Should we hunt or camp first?" One of the careers ask. They don't know which tributes are dead yet, expect the ones they killed. I suppose they could've killed all of them. I shiver at the thought.

"Camp, we should go hunting at night when people have their guard down." Chase says.

They start to divvy out the supplies and put them into three piles: food, medical supplies, and weapons.

They sit for a while and I hear a noise that sounds like cogs moving.

I look at Finnick but he isn't looking at me he is looking at the screen that all of Panem is seeing. I let go of his hand so he can walk over to the other screens. I know he wants to. He looks at me strangely.

"It's okay go ahead." I tell him and he kisses my forehead.

The room starts to be full of echoes of people talking about what they think this means. It is obviously something, maybe they are changing the outline of the arena. A room full of victors all trying to guess what it is from their experience is making this interesting. I wonder what everyones theory is.

I keep looking to the screen that all of Panem is seeing rather than all the camera angles. Which is what Luna, Mags, and Finnick seem to be more interested in. But this is important so I think they would show it on that screen. They are showing the boy from three. He is walking and he is deep in the forrest probably one of the safer places. He steps somewhere and then the cog noises stop.

"I guess it was nothing." He says.

I don't think that is true though.

I tune everything and everyone out except the screen of Panem.

"Why are they showing you." I whisper.

A tunnel is there at the wall that wasn't before. The boy doesn't notice this. I see a silver tube that is aimed at the arena. Not at him but, in general. It is going to release something. It does and a little silver ball falls out.

The kid hears this noise and walks toward it like a rational person would in a normal situation but this isn't a normal situation.

Finnick is standing behind me now and looking at what I am.

"What do you think it is?" He asks me.

"Nothing good."

"Doesn't that resemble a parachute?" I ask.

"It does, it's a trap." I hear Mags say.

I nod.

The kid is near it but, from a distance he probably can't see the blinking green light. He probably thinks it is a parachute. The light starts to blink rapidly and then suddenly it stops.

"That was anticlimactic." I say. Before anyone can respond there is a white hot light and everything around it is destroyed. They make sure to get a nice close up of the boy turning into a skeleton and then a pile of ash. You hear the cog sound again and the tube goes away.

"Interesting." I hear Luna say. You can hear the echoes of all the mentors again.

"What do you think it means?" Finnick asks.

"The gamemakers were probably just releasing something." Luna says.

"I don't think so. It doesn't usually makes that noise and the tributes could clearly hear it. It's part of the arena." I say.

"What do you think it is?" Luna asks.

I look at where the boy was, where the weapon went off and it was only restrained in that one area. I would think a weapon like that could take out a decent amount of the arena, possibly half with how small it is. So why is it only in a small circle that the boy was standing in? Are there traps like this all over the arena? Or was it just some random thing that happened. I don't know but, I'm sure it won't take long for me to figure out.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

It's day three and there are fourteen left. The only person who died after the blood bath was the boy who got incinerated by the trap from the gamemakers. Nothing strange has happened no cog noises since. Luna thinks it was just the gamemakers trying to create more entertainment but, I don't think that is the case because it happened on day one which is always action packed.

We haven't had to send anything to Maddy and Chase because they are dong just fine by themselves. They are just hunting in the forest... for people.

"You guys think we should go left or right?" Chase asks.

One of the careers stops and looks at the ground I think they are trying to track something.

"I see footprints that lead to the left, we should head that way better to catch prey." He says with a smile

They all look impressed by, his ability to track. It doesn't surprise me because they are trained to do this. They follow the footprints left and head towards a tribute.

Finnick is looking at the other screens and I can see one that is showing the tribute they are close to.

Finnick's hand finds mine easily, he must know what I'm thinking. I'm thinking about the tribute they are going to kill. They start to get closer to the tribute and my grip tightens. Finnick looks up at me.

"Why don't you go to the lounge." Finnick tells me.

Finnick was right about them giving us the necessities we need. There is a hidden room that has a lounge and the same devices they have in the suites you can order food with. However, they only have one screen where you can view the games. While you're in here you can't really help them. I asked Finnick if he knows what the other floors look like and he says he doesn't and no one is allowed to go on the floors that isn't there's. This is why they scan your thumbprint instead of have you press a button. Apparently if you try to get off at a different floor it won't let you. It creates an invisible barrier. He does say that probably most of the Districts don't have a lounge and probably just the device to order food and a bathroom. He also thinks District Twelve's floor is probably as big as our bathroom which has three stalls and two sinks. He says Haymitch doesn't care as long as he can order alcohol. I don't think it matters because the tributes from Twelve almost always die in the bloodbath.

"No, I'm fine." I tell him.

"Okay." He says and kisses my hand.

The boy tribute runs deeper into the forest and you can hear the cogs moving again.

"You think he is going to blow up?" I ask Finnick.

He shrugs.

"Who knows what the gamemakers have planned."

After a few minutes I hear an eerie noise that sounds like a high pitched humming almost like birds but, sounds more... demonic.

"What is that?" I ask.

"No idea." Finnick says.

"It sounds like something that will attack." Mags says.

The tribute in question looks afraid by the sound and start to move away but, the sound is everywhere and gets louder as they walk deeper into the forest.

The careers start to get closer to the tribute and the noise increases as each one steps into the area.

"What is this?" One of the female tributes practically shout because the noise is so loud.

"No, idea." Another says.

"I think we should leave." Maddy says.

"No, a tribute was this way we are very close." The one who can track says.

"This doesn't seem safe it is like a warning to leave." She says.

"Then go Maddy you're just dead weight anyways." Chase sneers. She looks afraid.

I look at another screen and see a bunch of bugs come from a portal of the side of the arena.

"Fine I'll go." Maddy says and runs in the opposite direction and the sound lessons a bit.

"It has to do with the people in the area." I say.

"What makes you say that?" Finnick asks.

"Because the sound of the bugs went down when Maddy left." I say.

"I don't-

I start to hear one of the tributes screaming they are surrounded by the bugs. They are starting to eat his flesh and the cannon goes off shortly. The other bugs are heading towards the careers. The bugs were so loud that they didn't hear the dead tributes screams.

The bugs reach the careers and start to savor their flesh, Chase and the tributes from Two get away with him and the tributes from one both die. Once they leave the area is back to normal again and you hear the cogs.

"What the hell was that?" Luna asks.

"As I said I think it has to do with the people in the area. The sounds of the bugs got louder when the careers entered and soften a bit when Maddy ran off."

"So what you think it's a motion detector or something?" Luna asks.

"I have no idea." I say.

"We will just have to wait and see." Finnick says.

"AHHHHHH." I hear a loud scream and turn my head to the screen that all of Panem is seeing.

I see a female tribute bashing another one against a tree violently." The tribute is starting to bleed heavily.

"How are you..." They trail off and she bangs her against a tree hard one more time and a branch goes through her neck. A cannon blows and I start to feel dizzy. I think from all of the blood.

When the tribute turns around I notice it is that girl who got a two for her training score.

"What the hell." Luna says shocked.

Johanna starts to go through the girls things. She had a backpack which is very generous; it has medical supplies, some dried food, and a small amount of water. She opens a pouch from the pack and has a devilish smile on her face.

"Now we're talking." She says and pulls out a pack of knives. "Why wouldn't you be carrying this sweet thing." She says and squeezes the dead triubtes cheeks.

"Damn, she was holding out big time." Finnick says.

"Time to go teach these bastards a lesson." Johanna smiles and runs off.

I can hear voices coming from above us and I think it the people from seven.

"Sounds like they didn't know either." Luna says looking up.

"I must say I'm impressed." Finnick says.

I'm starting to get dizzier and the room is spinning. I think I would faint if I was able to.

"Annie. What's wrong?" Finnick asks me concerned. He starts saying other things but, his voice is muffled and I can't understand what he is saying. I'm not really aware of my surrounding but, I can tell Finnick is taking me somewhere, once we reach the detestation he sits me down and strokes my hair. I don't do anything though, I think my body is frozen maybe, from fear but, I don't feel afraid.

After awhile the room stops spinning and I become more aware of my surroundings. Finnick took me to the lounge and I am sitting on the purple sofa that is facing the t.v set.

Finnick is holding my hand and making small circles with his thumb.

I turn my head very fast to look at him.

"Can you hear me?" Finnick asks gently.

I nod my head and hug him.

"How long have I been sitting here?" I whisper.

"A few hours." He says and kisses my forehead.

"But why?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"I don't know but, you're okay."

I notice that it is very quiet in here. I realize that Finnick put the games on mute.

"Couldn't you have turned them off?" I whisper

"I can't, they want us to watch." He says sadly. "But, your okay." He says stroking my hair and kissing my cheek.

"What has happened?"

"Nothing really." He says.

"No, deaths?"

"No." He says and kisses my cheek again.

"What about that girl?" I ask almost afraid. I don't know why I'm so afraid of her maybe it is because I felt sorry for her and to see her be a ruthless killer has messed with my mind.

"Don't worry about her, okay." He says and places a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Do you think she will win?" I whisper.

"She has he upper hand because they all think she is weak, why?" He asks.

"Just curious." I say.

"Do you not want her to win?" Finnick asks me. He doesn't have judgement in his voice or on his face but, I think he is judging me.

"I don't know. I'm not rooting for anyone because that is wrong."

He nods.

"It will be okay." He says. I lean into him and he puts my arm around me. I don't want to leave, I don't want to move from this sofa but, I know in a few minutes I will have to get up and leave the room to go and mentor.

"I love you." I whisper to Finnick.

He kisses my forehead.

"I love you too."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

There are eleven people left and the careers are tracking people to kill but so is the girl from Seven. She was definitely holding out on what she could do. Finnick was right she does have the upper hand.

I look to the screen Panem is seeing and they are showing someone running. When they hit a spot the cogs start again and mist comes from the ground.

"Poison?" Luna asks.

"Not necessarily." Mags says.

The careers are in the same section and none of the tributes don't seem to notice it.

"It could just be fog."

I get three pairs of eyes looking at me with doubt. I know they are right, nothing in the arena is normal. Nothing did happen to them but, the other tribute got mauled by the careers.

"Ten left." Luna says.

"Fourteen dead." I whisper. Finnick squeezes my hand. I think he is the only person who heard.

I see the Johanna girl chasing a tribute who looks twelve and terrified.

They keep running and then the cog sound starts again. Nothing seems to happen until you start to see the tributes reflection everywhere.

"Mirrors?" I ask.

"That's what it looks like." Luna says.

The twelve year old sprints away but Johanna has trouble figuring out the trap. She keeps running into the mirrors. She takes out her knives and starts breaking the mirrors to get out of the maze.

She can sill see the twelve year old as if taunting her.

"Where are you!" She shouts in anger.

The kid disappears and so does his reflection.

Johanna picks up her knives and the camera angle changes to the careers wondering around. They are where Johanna killed the girl with the tree, her pool of blood is still there. I find this strange because they usually clean that up when they take the body.

"Looks like someone had fun." Chase says.

"Yeah loads of it but where's the body?" The boy from Two asks. The girl from Two is still running towards them. She walks into the blood puddle and falls down in it like it is a lake. She tries to get up but something is pulling her down. You hear her scream and then she disappears. Then you can hear the cogs and the blood puddle disappears

"What the hell?" Finnick and Chase say at the same time

The boy from Two is looking up at the sky.

"One less to worry about." Chase says.

"She's not dead." The boy from Two says

I look to the wall where the number still reads ten.

"What?" Chase says confused.

"There was no cannon. She was probably transported somewhere."

"Where? How?" Chase asks confused.

"Beats the shit outta me. Let's just keep going." He says.

The camera angle changes and it shows the girl coming out of the ground and is almost in front of Johanna.

Johanna backs away probably wondering what the hell it is. The girl is covered head to toe in blood. Johanna stops and looks at the tribute puzzled.

"Doesn't matter what you are, just in chase." She says and shoves her knife into the tributes neck then a cannon goes off.

"Tribute then." She mutters

She takes her hands and starts to wipe away the blood to see what the girl had on her. She smiles when she uncovers the weapon that was drenched in blood.

"I'll take that." She smiles as she wipes off the blood of the axe.

"Well if we could bet I would bet all my money on her." I hear someone from a different floor say. I roll my eyes

"She's going to win." Luna says.

"Not necessarily Luna." Mags says.

"Why is that?" She asks slightly annoyed.

"Always account for variable change."

Luna rolls her eyes.

Johanna gets up after taking the girls stuff but, makes the mistake of steeping in her blood and falls somewhere as well.

"You think it's like that all over the arena now?" I ask

"Probably." Finnick says.

When Johanna appears she is near the boy who was trying to run away from her earlier.

He sees her and gets up but not quick enough because Johanna throws her axe at him and lands right in his forehead. She retrieves her axe but is careful not to step in his blood.

She runs away and then most of the tributes make camp and head to sleep.

Most of the tributes are asleep and are far away from one another. However, you hear the cog noise and they show a tribute that was in the same area as the deadly bugs. The bone chilling screams start and the tribute is dead within ten minutes.

"Nine left." Luna says and gets up from her desk and heads to the lounge. She usually does in the night time because there is almost no action. However, she stops once she hears Chase and the boy from Two talking.

"Why can't we sleep? It's been five hours." Chase snarls.

"Probably the gamemakers." Tribute from Two says.

"You think it was the fog?" I ask.

"That would make sense." Finnick says.

"It could be something similar they inject into us. However it probably won't work the same considering the conditions they are in." Luna says.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Annie please everything they give us has that drug in it so we are always awake. The food and the water both have it and the reason they lock us in here is so they can pump it in the air supply."

"Then what is the injection for?"

"To get the ball rolling if you would, and so we don't OD on the stuff." Luna smiles.

I shiver.

"It's okay Annie." Finnick says and glares at Luna who flashes a smile at him.

He smooths my hair and kisses my forehead.

"Okay." I whisper.

Finnick hugs me.

"It's okay." He says again.

I hear a door open and know Luna has left the room.

"Is that true Finnick?" I ask.

"They don't tell us but, it is a conspiracy theory that most of the victors have. There is no proof to back it up though."

I nod.

"I want to go home." I whisper

"I know, I know but, it's almost over there's only nine left."

"But then twenty-three people will be dead." I whisper into his chest.

Finnick hugs me tighter.

I think it is because he doesn't know what to say.

* * *

It's morning and Chase and the boy from Two didn't sleep a wink. Mags and myself think the fog was some sort of insomnia gas. If you don't sleep for awhile it can drive you insane.

A loud blaring noise goes off that sounds like a blow horn. I'm expecting an announcement but one doesn't come but, the sound of the cogs do.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39 **

All of the tributes bolt up at the sound of the blowhorn. You hear the cogs and a blaring light that cuts the arena into four perfect squares and there are more then one tribute in each section.

"You think this is for the finale?" I ask Finnick.

"There is only nine left it seems a bit premature but, who knows what the gamemakers are thinking." He smiles at me.

Nothing seems to effect them, they just go about their day as usual. There were no kills today and the tributes make camp and just like the previous days the boy from Two and Chase cannot sleep. It has been three days since they have had a full days rests, they are both very irritable. I think they will eventually kill one another. I think that was the plan behind the insomnia gas.

They walk around for a while and Chase starts screaming and talking about something that isn't there.

"He's starting to have micro naps." Luna says.

"What are those?" Finnick asks.

"It's when your body sleeps for a few minutes without you being aware of it." Mags explains.

"Then why isn't that happening to us?" I ask.

"Probably has to do with the drug they give us. They are very clever Annie. I mean they practically own us." Luna smiles but I can see the sadness in her eyes and I know she is true, they do own us.

I see Maddy, she hasn't been getting much Panem screen time but, I have seen her on the other screens. She mostly hides and runs away when people get to close. She is smart and she had a decent amount of supplies when she ran off because she didn't want to leave anything at the cornucopia just in case. She didn't trust them at all and she shouldn't have because they are bloodthirsty killers. I think she might have a chance at winning this, after all that is pretty much all I did. She usually travels in the night time when people are sleeping which is what she is doing now.

She is walking carefully but, then runs straight into something.

"What did she run into?" I ask. It's not like they know the answer but, I don't want her to die. I like Maddy.

"No, idea Annie." Mags smiles at me.

I notice that she is now on the screen Panem views. Something is going to happen and I have a feeling it has to do with the gamemakers splitting the arena into four parts.

Maddy gets up but runs into something again. She stands up and places her hand on it and it is like a glass wall. She bangs on it maybe to try and break it. The banging noise multiples by ten and I'm sure the whole arena heard where she is.

"They got them boxed in." Finnick says.

"Why four sections though?" Luna asks

"No idea." He says.

Maddy backs away and runs in the direction she just came in which was a bad idea because she runs right into Johanna.

"Hey Four." She smiles "Haven't seen you since the bloodbath where are you little _friends_." Johanna. All the pretenses I had for Maddy winning have gone away. I know Johanna is going to murder her and I don't want to watch her do it.

"They weren't my friends."

She smiles.

"Did you kill the ones from One then." Johanna says running her finger over the blade of her axe.

"If she lies Johanna might make an alliance with her." Luna says.

"Doubtful, she is in it to win it." A male voice says from below. It must be from Two because I'm sure the mentors from One are long gone.

Luna grabs the railing and looks down.

"Shut up that Johanna killed your female tribute anyways."

"She is about to kill yours too Luna." He shouts and I can almost hear the smile on his face.

I shiver.

"Yes." Maddy says but, it isn't very convincing.

"You're a terrible liar." Johanna says and swings her axe at her but Maddy dodges it.

"If she has any brains she will use the barrier against Johanna, she doesn't know it's there." Luna says.

"That is true." Finnick says.

"I'm really sorry about killing you and all but, there is only one winner." Johanna smiles and waves it around again but, Maddy dodges again. It looks like she is going in a circle maybe she is going to use the barrier against Johanna. She turns Johanna around and then charges her right into the wall and holds a knife to her neck.

They look at each other for a moment.

"Just get it over with." Johanna snarls. Maddy has her in a hold that Johanna won't be able to escape but, Maddy's hand is shaking.

"I can't do it." She whimpers and I can see a tear roll down her cheek. "I'm not a murderer." She says again.

"Good grief." Johanna says. Maddy's grasp must have loosened because Johanna tackles her and she is now on top of her.

"You may not be a murderer but, I am." Johanna says and stabs her and then her cannon blows instantly. She get off of Maddy and sits up.

"I'm sorry." She says looking at her. "You were never going to win because you were too good and the good ones don't win this _usually_." She says. I get the feeling that, that is a dig at me somehow. She does sound genuine though, maybe this Johanna girl isn't all bad. In the arena you can't listen to your conscious if you want to live.

On the main screen it is showing Chase and the boy from Two probably because they are the only tributes that are awake.

"Can't we stop walking?" Chase asks.

"Why?" the boy from Two grumbles.

"Because I'm tired." Chase sneers.

"Well, so am but, sitting isn't going to make us fall asleep."

"I'm sick of this." Chase says.

"Here it comes." Luna whispers. I know what she means. This is when they are going to kill one another because of the lack of sleep. It was only a matter of time and the micro naps probably weren't helping.

Chase throws a knife and the boy from Two goes down. Chase however, makes the mistake of stepping in his blood and he is being transported somewhere.

He rolls out of the blood and then starts to hear the screeching and knows where he is. He gets up to run but, runs into the invisible wall. He pounds on it making the loud noise but, it doesn't matter because in minutes the bugs reach him and he is dead.

_District 4 eliminated. _

I hear a robotic voice come from the ceiling and the elevator doors open.

"What happens now? Do we just go back to the suite?" I ask looking to Finnick and grasping his hand tightly.

"Not, exactly." Finnick says.

Finnick walks me to the elevator I try to walk into it but, get bounced out by a forcefield.

"Sorry, I forgot. You have to scan your hand to get whatever they injected into us out, then you can leave." Finnick says.

I put my hand on the scanner and I can feel something ripping out of my skin.

"Ouch." I say and look at my hand.

Finnick smiles at me and I'm allowed to enter the elevator. Finnick comes in, I hold his hand and rest my head on his shoulder.

"Why don't I feel tired?" I ask.

"You will in seventy two hours." Luna says. "I don't know why." She says before I can ask.

"What... so we have to watch for three more days?"

"Yes." Mags says.

Finnick squeezes my hand and I look up at him.

"Don't worry Annie, it's not that bad." Finnick says.

"Why can't we just stay in here?"

"They want us to socialize." Finnick rolls his eyes.

"You mean talk with the other victors?" I ask nervously.

"Don't worry Annie they aren't all bad and you can just avoid them and stay with me." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

I hear Marina stifle a scoff though. I think that means Finnick is lying to me to make me feel better. I am the new victor and according to Haymitch I have been the talk between the victors after all they call me crazy Cresta. I shiver, I don't want to see that Cashmere girl but, I get the sinking feeling she will be the first one I will see.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

The elevator stops and when the doors open I can hear talking and laughing. I am assuming these are the other victors.

We enter the room and we are enveloped in a big room, it is similar to the lounge they had on our floor. It has the same purple sofas and couches but, there are more of them. There is also a crystal chandler hanging from the ceiling and tables of food but they also have the ordering devices you can order food with. They also have screens everywhere showing the games. I can tell they muted this, probably so we can talk with each other.

I grasp Finnick's hand tightly.

"Are these all if them?" I whisper.

"Mostly." He says.

I nod. I feel like crying all of a sudden.

"It's alright Annie." Finnick whispers as if sensing this.

I want to tell him I want to go home even though it will do no good.

"Finnick-

I get cut off by the person I didn't want to see, Cashmere. Her hair is a waterfall of gold and she has very fair skin. She also has gleaming blue eyes. I will admit she is very pretty but the scowl on her face isn't doing her any favors.

"Nice to see you again Annie." She says and runs her fingers across my collar bone causing my body to stiffen.

I did see her on the Victory Tour _see_ being the key word. I didn't talk with her she jut kept looking at me. I did talk briefly with her brother. He seemed distant and quiet. I wouldn't say he was nice but, at least he kept a distance. I don't think Cashmere will be doing the same.

"I-I guess." I say.

"It's too bad I was looking forward to getting to talk to you while here but, you've been cooped up it's a shame really." She says to me but is looking at Finnick.

"S-sorry." I mutter.

She smiles.

"No apologies are necessary Annie. I was wondering why they have you all locked up in there."

"Cashmere" Finnick says in a warning tone.

"Relax Finnick we are just getting to know one another." She smiles.

An Avox comes over and hands Finnick something.

"I will be right back." Finnick says. He walks away and whispers in my ear 'don't listen to her'.

I smile awkwardly at her praying she will leave me alone.

"So-

"I really just wanted to know one thing Annie." She says.

"O-okay."

"Is it true what they say you know that you're _crazy_."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I mutter.

She looks at me for a minute smiles and then leaves.

I sigh in relief.

I just stand here probably with a deer in headlights look all over my face.

"Miss. Annie." I hear a man say.

I turn around expecting an authority figure yelling at me for not being so sociable but it's not. It's Beetee Latier. The person who invents virtually everything that is signficant in Panem. I think he was always brilliant but, him winning the Hunger Games gave him the spotlight. He won by electrocuting multiple tributes. He probably wasn't the obvious choice but, sometimes being smart pays off. He doesn't look as intimating as Cashmere does. He is older and he has a sort of mad scientist look because of his glasses.

"Hello..." I trail off not know what to call him.

"I was hoping I would get to speak with you." He says in a very formal voice and is looking at me like I am something to study. I remember what Haymitch said and I suddenly don't feel good.

"Really and why is that?" I ask nervous.

"Because you're the new victor and I haven't been able to speak with you."

"Oh." I say.

"Yes also what do you think about District 4?"

"What?" This catches me off guard why would he want to ask me about home.

"You know fishing it's all very water based."

"That's actually a preconceived notation of home because it is fishing. All the houses aren't just on a beach front and it isn't sunny all the time." I say.

"Well I was just wondering with the water and all."

"Water?" I ask.

"You did almost drown I would wonder what effect that would have on the psyche. I have a great imagination but, I don't see this very often-

He keeps talking but I stop listening to him. I don't care or want to know what he is saying about me. I try to find a place to stare but all I see is the screens of the video.

"Leave me alone!" I end up shouting and can feel the whole room looming this way.

"Just leave me alone." I whisper and walk away to a nook and lean against the wall. Everything seems to carry on like usual. I press my knees to my chest and start to cry. I can hear someone walking towards me. I don't want it to be anyone but Finnick.

"It's alright Annie." I hear Mags say to me.

I look up and can see her smiling at me.

"I want to go home." I whispers

"You will be soon." She says.

"I hate it here. I hate all of them." I say.

"Why would you say that?" She asks confused.

"Because of what happened here."

"I understand why you hate this place Annie I think most the victors hate this place. What I meant was why would you say you hate all of them."

"Because they all think I am crazy. They are just like Cashmere."

"Cashmere is in the pool who likes to be here. Don't listen to her."

"Well what about-

"Beetee doesn't see human life the same as most people because he spends most of his time with machines. He bases most of his basic life details on what will work the best and has the best viable choice. If he had to choose the people to save in this room it wouldn't be on a whim it would be because he is choosing the people he thinks are the most valuable-

"And how does one decipher which life is more valuable than they rest?" I ask disgusted.

"I don't know but it doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is when he sees a problem he wants to probe and obsess over it until it is fixed."

"So I'm the thing he wants to _fix_."

"I think that is his goal however, he is wasting his time because you don't need to be fixed Annie."

"Okay." I say and roll my eyes.

"Annie you are stronger than you think you are. You don't need to be fixed. You are the same person you always have been." She says.

"No, I'm not. Sometimes I can't tell if this is a terrible _fantasy_ or real life."

"Well you eventually can figure it out."

"Not without help." I mutter.

"There's nothing wrong with getting help Annie." She smiles.

"Getting help yes... relying on someone to always do it though isn't right."

"No it's not. We aren't meant to live in solitude we are meant to be with others." She says.

"That doesn't matter because it's like someone else has a road map to my head. I live in a different world sometimes and it's usually not a nice one. I don't want someone to have the escape map to my mind. I want to have my escape map." I say and can feel tears form in my eyes.

"It doesn't matter who holds that escape map Annie. As long as they are there for you."

"I don't like not being in control of myself." I whisper.

"I know it must not feel nice but, you aren't helpless Annie and it doesn't matter if someone else has your escape map. All that matters it that you have someone with the map. Someone who can break the barriers of your mind and bring you home."

"You mean Finnick."

"I mean whoever but, yes I would say Finnick has a copy of your escape map." She smiles.

I swallow hard.

"Do you know where he got _summoned_?" I ask.

"He gets summoned lots of places to do various things." She says sadly. I wonder if all the victors know or if it is just the ones in District 4.

"You think it has to do with a client." I whisper.

"I don't think so Annie he isn't supposed to see them when the games are going on." She says.

"_Supposed to_ being the key words." I say.

Mags smiles.

"We should get back out there, we are supposed to be socializing after all."

"But-"

She grabs my hand and pulls me up she is surprisingly strong for her age.

I sigh and we go back out to where everyone else is. I expect people to stare at me but, they don't. I sit on a couch that is isolated from the others. I hope Beetee doesn't come back so he can _evaluate_ me to see if I'm worth it.

I look at the events unfold and I realize not all the victors are here and it's not just the ones who are still mentoring. Luna said this drug wears off in seventy two hours who knows how long we will sleep. I do notice Haymitch is here and both of his tributes died in the bloodbath. He is drinking -shock- with a man who has one hand. I think he is from Eleven or Ten. I think his name was Chip or Chaff something along those lines. Near them are three victors who are clearly on something. They are all staring off into space.

"Annie." I hear a sweet voice say. I imagine this person to be petite and small and when I turn my head I am correct because when I turn around I see Bleu. Bleu is from District 5 and the only reason I remember this is because she is the sole victor there. I don't know who won before her but I imagine it must be lonely. Same goes to Haymitch I wonder if that is why he is a drunk.

"Bleu." I say.

"Oh good you remembered me." She squeaks.

"How could I forget." I say.

I don't just mean that because she is the sole victor of Five but, because of her appearance. She is in her mid twenties and has pale skin and green eyes but the reason I remember her is her hair. She has hair that is shoulder length that is very feathery and is all different lengths. The cut isn't just memorable but so is the color it is a snow white. I'm sure it is fake and don't know why she does it but it's not business. At least she didn't have her teeth turned to fangs like a female victor from Two.

"That's so nice. So are you having fun?" She asks. I can't tell if she is being sarcastic or serious.

"Not really I don't like all of this." I mumble.

"Neither do I. I think the only people who do are over there." She motions to the victors from One and Two. There is a decent amount of them because they usually win.

"I know." I say.

"Next time Cashmere talks with you ignore her."

"Her brother too?" I say.

Bleu laughs slightly.

"Gloss doesn't talk much. Some people say it is because he is traumatized by the Hunger Games but, I think he is just shy."

"Well he volunteered he deserves it." I mumble

"Oh Annie you don't know?" She says surprised.

"Know what?" I ask.

"Gloss didn't volunteer."

"What?"

"He went in after Cashmere and didn't volunteer. The strange thing about all of this isn't because he didn't volunteer it's because no one else did. District One always has a volunteer." She says in a hushed voice.

"That's strange." I say.

"Most of the victors think it was rigged especially because of the recaps."

"What happened at the recaps?" I ask.

"The live feed crapped out and on the recaps it was very staticy and hard to understand, just like when victors children get put into the arena." She smiles

"That's rigged?" I say not knowing why I sound surprised.

"Yes it's to send a message. It doesn't matter who you are you are never safe." She says

"That's terrible."

"Of course it is Annie but this whole situation is."

I look over at Cashmere and Gloss and wonder if what she is saying is true that it was set up so he would be in the arena.

"Does that mean they set it up or him to win?"

"Who Gloss?" She looks at me and nods. "I'd say odds against, they really like to do comparisons between the victor and the tribute. I think if they rigged it the citizens wouldn't be given the chance."

"I wonder how Cashmere feels about this." I mumble.

"I would say guiltily because the reason this happened is because she said no to the _deal_."

It looks like the other victors do know about it. I wonder if Marci and Jason aren't safe then.

"Don't worry Finnick's brother and sister are safe because he said yes after Snow killed his parents."

"Oh." I say even though I knew this already.

"Finnick takes his role very seriously. Which is why the rumors about you and him on the Victory Tour spread like wildfire."

"What rumors?" I ask.

"You know that you were fucking."

"Oh that's not-

"I know it's not true. Finnick doesn't give it away that easily despite what people think." It sounds like she is speaking from experience.

"Did you try to buy him?" I whisper disgusted.

"No, victors can't buy other victors. If they did all the victors probably would've bought him."

"I see." I say uncomfortable because. I'm starting to get the feeling that she had sex with Finnick.

"Yes and the rumors must be true about how good he is because he has been with lots of people."

"I guess." I say and I can feel my face turning red from being uncomfortable.

"I think I'll go over there." I say and get up to leave. I don't care who Finnick has been with but, I don't need to hear about it.

"If you don't want people to talk with you I would go over to the morphilings people avoid them because they are drugged out of their mind."

"Who are you talking about?"

"The victors from Six to escape their memories they take morphling instead of alcohol like our dear Haymitch." She smiles and I head to the food table to drink some water. It tastes very bitter though.

"It's because of the drugs." Someone whispers in my ear seductively. If I didn't know any better I would say it was Finnick but I can tell from the voice it's not.

I turn around and see Blake he is a victor from Nine. I remember him from his flirtatious attitude. He acts like Finnick when he is pretending but, Blake isn't he is really like that. I'm assuming he gets many Capitol girls as well.

Blake is probably in his late twenties or early thirties he won when he was sixteen. So it's been at least ten years since he has won. He has a strong build, dirty blonde hair, and brown eyes. He also has tanned skin which I'm assuming is from working in the fields because after he won he bought a farm. I think it was for the grain but it could've just been because he could. Considering how Blake acts I'm assuming the latter.

"Oh." I say.

"Luna and Mags not tell you that?" He says and pushes my hair back.

"N-no." I stutter.

"That's alright, they probably thought Finnick would do it but he had to run away for a bit."

"Yes."

"I could keep you company until he comes back." He says.

I smile because I don't know what else to say.

"That's what I thought. You know you really are something Anne despite what they all think of you, I know you're perfect. You're looks alone silence a room." He says and runs his hand over my cheek and I can feel myself blushing. I think it is because I'm uncomfortable. I did the same with Finnick when I thought he was an ass.

He smiles.

"You feel better don't you."

"What?" I ask confused. I hope he doesn't mean because he is near me.

"After talking with Beetee you seemed upset." He smiles.

"Well I'm fine now." I say slightly angry.

"Don't worry about that. Most people get flustered while talking to him. Mostly because they don't know what he is saying."

"Oh." I say.

"So tell me Annie what makes you tick?" He asks me and leans in like he will kiss me.

I step away a little and he doesn't fight me. He knows what he is doing and I think he is getting pleasure from it.

"I-I nothing, nothing at all." I say.

"Well that must not be true. You must be special to capture the heart of the _great_ Finnick Odair."

"I-I...

I end up backing away from him so much that some of the plates scatter to the floor.

"I think I'm making you uncomfortable. There are better prospects over there." He says and eyes Enobaria. "Gotta love those teeth."

I nod.

He leans in again and whispers in my ear.

"It was a pleasure Annie." He says and puts hair behind my ear and winks. Then he walks off towards Enobaria.

I sit at one of the tables and eat something and it all has a bad after taste. I'm assuming it is from the drugs like Blake said, he has no reason to lie.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and jump I have no idea who to expect but, when I turn around I see Finnick. He sits across from me.

"You okay?" He asks.

"These victors are…" I trail off not knowing how I finish.

He smiles

"That's true." He says.

"Did they tell you about the food?" He asks me.

"Blake did." I say.

He nods and I can see him smiling. He must know Blake just didn't come up and tell me.

"And did you like that?" He teases

"There are worse things. He reminds me of the alter ego Finnick." I say.

"Well he should. He is the person I modeled it after."

"Really." I say surprised.

"Everyone needs inspiration." He smirks.

"Does he know this?"

"Yes. He feels very flattered." Finnick rolls his eyes.

"I see." I say. "So where did you go?" I ask.

"Snow wanted to see me. It had to do with the punishment of Cynthia."

"Why?"

"He said it was a personal issue so he would let me decide."

"What did you do?" I ask nervously.

"She got put on the list. Snow seemed surprised that I didn't want it to be more... brutal. However, I didn't know that when they got put on the list they got branded." Finnick says and looks sad.

I get up and go sit next to him and hold his hand and I lean against his shoulder.

"Hey Finnick."

"Hey Annie." He smiles.

"What's your story with the other victors?" I ask.

"Stories?" He asks confused.

"I was talking with Bleu and she made it sound like-

"What?"

"You had some history."

He sighs.

"No although that has to stop her from trying. Why do you care?"

"I don't, I was just curious."

"Really because I thought you sounded a tad jealous."

"Jealous I'm not jealous of Bleu."

"Okay." He says in a jokey tone and kisses my cheek.

We sit in here for the rest of the time. I can feel myself getting drowsier and drowsier.

Finnick is about to take me upstairs so I can sleep but, before I do they announce that Johanna Mason is the victor of the Seventy first Hunger Games. She was the clear winner for awhile. I remember what Bleu said about Gloss, I wonder if they rigged the games. If they do I wonder what else they rig, I wonder if they prepick the victor. If that was the case I don't think I would've won. Unless they want to show even a weakling can be victorious. Finnick did say lots of the citizens gave me sponsors maybe, that has something to do with it, Capitol approval. If that is the case then the odds are never really in your favor.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

After the games are over we head back to the suite and will wait until Johanna is presentable. She got beaten up badly in the final fight so she probably has some recovery time.

I slept for three days and was surprised it wasn't longer because I was awake for a least two weeks. I didn't question it though. I felt rested and now all there is to do is relax.

Finnick hasn't had to go away which I am grateful for. I don't want to be away from him not in the Capitol, maybe not ever.

"Finnick?" I ask

"Yes?"

"What going to happen after Johanna is all better?"

"We go down to watch the recaps in the crowd with the rest of the citizens."

"Oh." I say and swallow hard.

"Don't worry it won't be Capitol citizens next to you it will be all the victors."

"Great maybe if I'm lucky I will be seated near Blake." I say sarcastically.

He smiles.

"Doubtful he likes siting next to Esmeralda or Talia, depending on the year."

"Which victors are those again?"

"Esmeralda is from District Eight she has ebony hair and skin. She usually wears golden hoop earrings. She is twenty five I think."

"I vaguely remember her. What about Talia?" I ask.

"She's the other victor from Nine. She has red hair, pale skin, and green eyes. She-

"Is she the one who started screaming at my Victory Tour celebration?" I ask nicely.

I remember on the Victory Tour a female victor was sitting next to me and kept picking at her cuticles until they started to bleed. A few minutes later they started to give my honor speech and she started screaming. She broke a few glasses which caused deep cuts in her hands and they started to bleed a lot. I'm sure she had glass stuck in them. She was also shouting that it was trying to kill her. Someone took her out of the room and was comforting her but, you could still hear her screaming in the other room.

I think it did happen in Nine. I know Blake and a female are the only victors from there.

Finnick nods.

"Talia has nervous breakdowns sometimes. It's usually every other year and only last for a few months. It's not always around the Hunger Games but, Blake will sit next to her when she has had one that year. Just in case anything would happen or if she asks him to sit next to her he will."

"Blake sit next to her." I scoff.

"Blake may act like a creep and come on very strong but he does care about other people Annie. After all he was the one who took her out of the room to comfort her and he is the one who goes to her house and takes care of her."

"Takes care of her?" I ask confused. I don't really know what a nervous breakdown is but, Finnick makes it sound like bad things happen. It sounds like it is temporary and lasts a short amount of time but, it is still probably terrible.

"When she has a nervous breakdown she becomes depressed and very anxious. She always thinks something is going to kill her. I think it is usually the beast that destroyed most of her arena and killed almost all of the tributes in five minutes. Blake makes sure she is eating and not terrified that someone or something is going to kill her. He also makes sure she doesn't just sit inside all day. He takes her to his farm and has her help plant and harvest things. He doesn't want her to stay in bed all day and become more depressed.

"Is that why he bought that farm for her?" I ask surprised.

Finnick scoffs.

"He did that because he could and to help the citizens of Nine so they wouldn't have to work as hard. He also wanted to get rid of some of his victor winnings. I think because he hates it like everyone else."

"He really does all of that? I mean Blake. The person you modeled alter ego Finnick after? The person who seems like he would hit anything that moved." I say trying not to sound too surprised

"Yes one and the same. He cares about lots of things, Talia being one of them. He cares about Talia… a lot. I would go as far to say he loved her but, in a platonic way." Finnick says.

"Oh."

"Most of the victors don't show everything. We all have a separate life from the one they present in the Capitol. And you figure out who the real person is eventually mostly because you become their friend." Finnick says.

I feel a little bad for judging Blake and probably the other victors, Finnick is right I don't really know them. After all I hated Finnick before I got to know him.

"Well then who is this Esmeralda then?" I ask.

"Oh she is his… friend. I think that is the best way to describe it."

"Did you have any friends?" I ask thinking of Bleu.

"Not really." He says

"But not no either." I say.

"Annie-"

"I don't care Finnick." I say truthfully and I don't care. I can't change the past, besides it's not like I knew him. I just know this Finnick and that is all that matters now."

"Really?" He asks and I can tell he doesn't believe me.

"Yes really although I am disappointed that you lied when I asked about Bleu." I say.

"I didn't want you to know."

"Well I figured it out by myself you shouldn't lie to me Finnick Odair that is more hurtful than anything especially when I find out the truth because believe me Finnick I _will_ find out the truth." I say

"I won't lie and there wasn't anyone else just her."

"You're not lying?"

"No."

"Okay because I will find out." I tease.

"I know you will." He says and kisses me.

* * *

Today is the day for the recaps because Johanna is now all patched up.

Aries, Luna, Mags, Finnick and, myself are all in the elevator heading to our seats. Aries doesn't sit with the mentors he sits with the stylists and we didn't hear the end of that. It was hard not to laugh at his rant because it was so frivolous.

I'm surprised that we don't have to wear anything ridiculous we got told we could wear whatever we wanted so I just put on some lounge clothes. I could tell Aries disapproved though but I don't care what he thinks.

We escorted to the seating area and I can hear the screams of many Capitol people. Finnick, Mags, and myself all walk to the back of the reserved seats but, Luna heads to the front and sits next to Cashmere and I can practically hear them cackling. Luna is usually nice when around me but I have no idea if that is her true self.

All the people from One and Two sit with one another plus Luna.

The people from Three and Six sit next to one another. I assume this is because everyone wants to avoid them

I can tell who is friends with whom by who they set next to. Haymitch sits next to the mentors from Eleven and Chaff and Haymitch are cracking jokes and laughing.

The people from Ten are chatting with the people from Eight. Bleu comes over and takes the seat next to Mags. Most of the seats are taken the only victors who aren't here are the ones from Nine and Seven but the one from Seven is backstage helping Johanna so that means just Blake and Talia aren't here. There are two empty seats next to me I'm assuming they will be sitting next to me.

"How long until it starts?" I ask Finnick.

"Probably thirty minutes they want us to be here early."

I look at all the Capitol citizens.

"How long have they been here?"

"Some camp out they want to get a good view of _their_ victor." Finnick says with disgust.

I lean my shoulder against him and a few minutes later I see Blake and Talia and know she was definitely the one who was screaming.

Talia is very pretty she has perfect creamy white skin and her eyes are like emeralds. Her hair seems to fall perfectly around her face. I wonder if she is part of Snow's deal.

She sits next to me and smiles.

"Hi Annie." She says. Her voice is soft but gentle. I don't remember her games but, I think she was in a similar situation as me.

I look at her hands and can tell she has been picking at her cuticles because I can see the dried blood around her middle finger.

"Hi Talia." I say.

"Yes hellooo Annie." Blake purrs.

"Stop that." Talia says and playfully pushes him.

"My apologies." He says.

Talia rolls her eyes

"Are you alright? The first time mentoring is always terrible. I didn't see you after we… lost because I don't like being in that room." she says

"I'm okay and I didn't like it either." I say.

She smiles.

"I don't think anyone does. I think the people from One and Two just fake it." She says.

"Maybe." I laugh awkwardly because I know that isn't true from Cashmere speaking with me.

"I don't know how I feel about this _Johanna_ she seems-

"Talia." Blake cuts her off.

"What?" She asks. She sounds confused.

"Your hands are bleeding." He says gently.

I look down and didn't notice she was picking her cuticles. I wonder if she didn't either and it is just something she does subconsciously when she is uncomfortable.

The middle finger that had dried blood is now bleeding like someone turned on a faucet and the others are just bleeding a little.

"Oh no." Talia whispers.

"It's okay Talia." He tells her gently.

"No." Talia says angrily and puts her hands in a fist getting blood all over her palms.

"It's okay it's just a little blood." He tells her.

"But they all saw." She whispers and it looks like she is going to cry.

I look away to pretend I didn't see. I think this has to do with the anxiety. If she is worried what people are always thinking about her it would probably upset her.

"No, no one saw Talia." Blake says gently. Although I'm pretty sure he knows I did. After all I was talking with her.

I can tell he is fiddling with something maybe a band aid.

I look around and notice the structure around me.

"What the heck is that?" I ask Finnick. I motion towards the balcony where there is a giant screen.

"That's the feed President Snow watches from." Finnick tells me.

"What he can't turn on the tv like any other citizen?" I ask annoyed.

"I think he gets to see other things."

I can hear Talia crying. Blake takes her and they leave the room. We have probably twenty minutes before anything happens. Hopefully he can calm her down in that amount of time.

I can see Mags face and I can see sorrow on it. The other victors must know then. She has a right to believe that they are all thinking she is crazy or damaged. I think about that all the time. Especially after hearing Cashmere call me crazy Cresta.

I shiver.

"You alright?" Finnick asks me.

I nod.

"Just want to get this over with." I say.

"Don't worry after this it's only a few more hours in the Capitol." Finnick says and I hold his hand and rest against his shoulder.

The interview is supposed to start in five minutes. I can see Caesar and the crew starting to fiddle with everything. Talia and Blake still aren't back I'm sure they will be told to come out soon. Although that's just when Caesar will start to talk and his opening remakes usually last ten minutes.

The lights on the stage are starting to light up and then I see Talia and Blake in the distance.

This time Blake is sitting next to me and I think Talia requested this because less people will see her. I can tell that is is uncomfortable though and her hands have been bandaged.

"Change of places so I can be closer to the beautiful Annie Cresta." Blake says and I can tell he is teasing me.

I roll my eyes.

"Find another girl to be with Blake Annie is mine." Finnick jokes and grabs my hand possessively.

"I never steal." He flashes a smile "But Annie when this thing is over you can see me." He says and can barely keep himself from laughing.

"Blake." I hear Talia say and his facial expression changes to something more serious and he turns to her.

I notice he is holding her hand and I don't think it is just to comfort her. I think it is so she won't be able to pick her cuticles.

She is whispering something to him and he is nodding. Finnick was right Blake does care about her. I don't know how much but he wouldn't be with some Capitol idiot if she needed him.

They start to count down and then the interview starts.

"Hello and welcome to the recaps of the 71st Hunger Games!" Caesar exclaims this year his hair is a neon green. It reminds me of snot.

He makes corny jokes and then he calls out for Johanna Mason the victor.

Johanna comes out and she isn't smiling her face has a look of disgust and annoyance. She isn't smiling she has a sneer on her face. Blake jerks next to me and I can see Talia is trying to get him to let go of her probably so she can pick her cuticles. I go back to looking at the Johanna because I Talia doesn't want the attention but, it's making it hard when she keeps squirming around.

Johanna sits down and doesn't bother to shake Caesar's hand she hates it and she is very disgusted and I don't blame her.

"Well, well Miss Mason I think we can all say we are very impressed that you are sitting up here with me. Especially after your poor training score."

"It was poor to me too Caesar I was aiming for a one but, I did still make history." She smiles.

"Yes you did and who knew you were so vicious like some of our most prized victors." Caesar says and motions towards the victors.

"Well they were my _inspiration_." She says with disgust.

"I'm sure they were, was this a plan from your mentors?"

"No if I told too many people I was afraid it wouldn't seem _authentic_." She smiles.

"Well I was very impressed and I think we all were as well." Caesar says and the whole crowd cheers.

"Now why don't we relive it all shall we?" He says and they start to project the recaps. I don't look and just make circles on Finnick's hand.

After probably two hours the recaps are over and we can leave. As soon as we get the okay to leave Talia gets up and runs out of the room.

"Talia wait." Blake says and chases after her.

Talia reminds me of myself broken and afraid. Finnick says she isn't always like this though then again I'm not always like that I just have my moments.

"We should go back upstairs." Finnick says.

We get up and head to the elevator. The victors from Six are in the elevator with us and they are totally checked out. I feel bad for them, then again I feel bad for almost all of us.

We get upstairs and I start to walk towards the kitchen.

"Now wasn't that marvelous!" Aries shouts.

"Yes it was something." Luna says but she doesn't sound excited. She sounds bored.

"You need to leave the suite in one hour because that is when your train will be ready. That means we have an hour to talk about those games. Don't you just love her! That final where she gauged out that tributes eyes. You know some people think that wasn't necessary-

I walk away I don't want to hear this and I'm starting to feel light headed.

Finnick walks over towards me.

"Don't listen to him Annie. It wasn't that bad" He tells me.

"I...

"Annie?" He asks concerned.

"I uh..." I start to feel scared for some reason. I put my hands on my forehead because I can feel them throbbing.

I'm starting to feel more scared until it turns into terror and eventually that is all I feel. My vision starts to go blurry and I start to sweat. I feel like crying but am so afraid I'm not able to.

"Annie, Annie." I can hear Finnick say. He starts to hug me but it makes the terror worse.

"Don't touch me!" I shout even though I meant to say it nice and calmly.

Finnick let's go of me very quickly.

I start to have a sharp pain in my chest and then my heart starts to beat so fast that I think I might be having a hear attack. I think I might be dying

"I going to die!" I shout.

"Annie you're fine, nothing is going to hurt you here." Finnick says gently.

"I... I..." I trail off because I start hyperventilating.

"Annie, Anne you're okay." Finnick says he sounds worried which makes me feel worse. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I feel like I'm drowning. I sit down and grip the fabric.

Finnick sits next to me and is careful not to touch me.

"Annie shhh it's okay. Try and listen to my breathing and match that."

Finnick breathes in and out. I try and breathe with him but it isn't working I'm still hyperventilating.

I put my hands on my face and grasp my hair.

"I'm going to die!" I shout again.

"Annie no you're not. You're safe here, you're safe with me."

"Please she is so over dramatic." I hear someone else say it sounds like Aries.

This makes it worse and I start to hyperventilate faster because he probably thinks I'm crazy.

I don't think I'm getting enough oxygen to my brain and I start to feel afraid of that.

_I'm going to die._ I think to myself

Finnick keeps talking to me but it doesn't matter. He can't help me, nothing or no one can. I'm trapped, I can't leave this state of terror. I can't leave this world and no matter what Finnick does that will always be true.

I start crying and I don't even realize it until I can hear Aries say 'She is crying when nothing is hurting her. What she is so terrified of?'

I start rocking back and forth and after what seems like an eternity my heart beat slows, my breathing is back to normal, and I don't feel as terrified. I'm still scared a little but, I know now it's not rational for me to be that terrified.

I am drenched in sweat and tears and I can see Finnick looking at me. He doesn't look at me like I'm crazy but he is looking at me worried. He doesn't say anything I think he wants me to talk first.

I want to say something but the words don't come all I can mange to say is.

"Water."

Finnick practically runs to the kitchen to get me water. I take it and notice my hands are still shaking because I'm getting drops of water on myself and the sofa.

I bring the glass to my lips and gulp it down I then set the glass on the table.

"Do you want more?" Finnick asks in a soothing tone.

"No. I'm fine." I say.

He smiles and lifts his arm but, then puts it down. I think he wanted to stroke my hair or rub my shoulder but he doesn't because I shouted at him not to touch me.

I feel like we have been here a whole day. The train was suppose to leave in an hour.

"We didn't miss the train did we?" I ask. My voice sounds raspy probably from me hyperventilating.

"Annie you've only been here for fifteen minutes."

"What?" I say with disbelief because that felt like a whole day possibly longer.

"Yes, see." He says and motions towards the clock. He is right its been only fifteen minutes.

"Oh I see."

"Are you alright now Annie?" He asks me gently but I can hear the worry and concern in his voice.

"I think so." I say.

"What happened?" He asks me.

"I don't know, I just felt very afraid. I kept thinking I was going to die it felt like I was dying. I thought I has having a heart attack. I was trapped in my own world but this time it was a world of panic and it wasn't going away. Nothing would help take the terror away." I pause "It was so scary Finnick." I say and hug him forcefully. He gasps by how fast I hug him but after a few seconds he places his arms around me.

He kisses my forehead.

"It's okay Annie, it's over now. You got through it and you're fine." He says and strokes my hair. "You're safe here, you're safe with me. You always will be." He says and I hold onto him tighter.

"I know." I whisper into his chest. "Because you have my escape map."

I do know I will always be safe with Finnick. I'm usually alright when I'm not with him but coming back here, coming to the Capitol made everything worse. I think it broke my brain.

"What do you mean?" He asks confused.

"It doesn't matter. You're just like a ray of sunshine on a stormy day."

"Okay Annie." She smiles and kisses my forehead.

"Love you." I whisper and he kisses me softly and everything feels okay again.


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a bit but, I am in the process of moving which is stressful and annoying. I have a new chapter now! Yay! lol. Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**Chapter 42**

I'm sitting on my porch looking at the stars. It's nice to see after being in the Capitol because you can't see the stars there. It's because of the city lights. In Victors Village you can see all the stars it is so beautiful. It looks like someone sprinkled sugar in the sky. I love it.

"Annie. Annie." My Mother says bringing me back to reality.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing." She says and sits next to me. "You've just been staring at the sky for hours."

"I was looking at the stars and thinking how insignificant all of us are."

"What do you mean Annie?"

"Look at all of it." She looks up at the sky.

"It is pretty." She says.

"But when we die what mark will we have left on the world? There is all of this and we are just small blips just living just being controlled really." I say.

"It's okay sweets." She kisses me. "We're okay and it doesn't matter as long as we have each other right now. It doesn't matter what are mark is all that matters is the people in our lives who we touch." She kisses my cheek.

"I guess."

She looks at me carefully.

"Are you alright Annie?"

"I'm fine." I lie.

"You can't lie to me Annie. What is it?"

"It's just... ever since going to the Capitol something is different." I say.

She looks at me and puts a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I know sweetie but it's okay it's going to be okay." She says and kisses my forehead.

"No it won't. I can't stop it. I can't stop the terror from coming in. I want it to go away. I want the flashbacks to go away. I want it to stop. I will make it stop it."

She wraps her arms around me and rests her chin on my head.

"It's okay Annie but, what do you mean you will stop it? How would you plan on doing that?"

"I don't know." I mutter.

She looks at me almost studying me.

"Annie-

"I won't do it." I say before she can ask.

"How do you know?"

"I can't leave the people I love behind. Killing myself would be selfish." I mutter and lean into her and start crying.

She holds me and smooths my hair for a few minutes until I stop crying.

"When Finnick's not here you don't seem to be... the same." She says very carefully

"I know." I say annoyed.

"I'm just making an observation." She smooths my hair and kisses my forehead." Sometimes I do wonder what you would be like if there was no Finnick."

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"I think you would be different, maybe worse. I would worry more when you were at the Capitol. The reason I don't as much is because I know Finnick will take care of you."

"Are you saying I can't function without him." I say angrily.

"I wouldn't have phrased it like that but-

I sigh.

"Do not take it the wrong way Annie."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You've always been more independent. Which is something I admire but, it's nice seeing you being dependent on someone besides me."

"What about Lana?"

"It's not the same Annie."

I look at her slightly angry.

"Annie do not give me that look."

"What look. I don't have a look on my face."

"Annie-

"I'm going to bed."

"Annie I didn't want to make you angry."

"Well you did."

"It isn't a weakness to need someone else Annie."

"Yes it is." I say.

The past few days I couldn't stop thinking about what my Mom said about me being dependent on Finnick. I can't need him for everything but, ever since she pointed it out I realized how much I do need him and it is more than it should be.

I talked about this with Lana and she hesitantly agreed with me. She doesn't like getting involved in others people relationship business.

* * *

Finnick is coming back from the Capitol today and I have something I need to tell him.

I'm waiting outside my house. I generally see Finnick for a few hours and then he spends the rest of the day with Marci and Jason. He wants to be alone with them after being apart for so long. It was two weeks this time which is the longest it has ever been and I'm pretty sure it has to do with him taking on more clients to protect me.

I see the train roll in off in the distance and about ten minutes later I see Finnick walking towards me.

"Hello." He says.

"Hi." I say not meeting his eyes I don't want to tell him this but I feel like I need to.

"Annie what's wrong?"

"Nothing I just need to talk to you." I say and motion to the swinging chair on my porch. He sits next to me and reaches for my hand but I pull it away.

"What's wrong Annie?" He asks gently and places his hand on my cheek. I take his hand and pull it away. He looks at me strangely.

"Did something happen when I was gone?"

"No."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No… I just...

"What is it Annie? You can tell me even if you think I don't want to hear it."

I breathe in them back out.

"I spend too much time with you!" I end up shouting.

Finnick looks at me strangely.

"I didn't realize that was a bad thing." He says confused.

"Well it is. For the last few days I have been keeping tabs when I would _need_ you or be with you."

"And?"

"It was too much. I need to spend less time with you. I need more Annie time."

He looks at me strangely again.

"Well when we were in the Capitol you seemed to need me."

"That's because I hate that place and I need you as much as possible but here when it is 'normal' I shouldn't need you so much." I say.

"So what?" He says.

"What do you mean?"

"So what if you need me that much. What does it matter-

"It matters to me Finnick."

"Okay. I guess you only need me when it's at your convenience " He says and gets up.

"That's not true and you don't have to leave right now." I say.

"Well I want to, give you you're Annie time." He says annoyed. I made him mad.

"You're taking this the wrong way Finnick. I still love you and that's why I need to see less of you."

He looks at me strangely.

"I think that statement is contradictory." He says.

I sigh.

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is Annie. You can't tell someone you love them and ask to spend less time with them. You didn't see or hear from me for two weeks and I come back and you say you want to see me less. How does that make sense? I just didn't see you for two weeks do, you need more alone time than that?"

"Finnick-

"And did you ever consider that I spend so much time with you is because I need you."

"I- I

"You're being selfish Annie."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are you didn't even think about how I felt about this."

"Finnick-

"I want some Finnick time." He says and walks back to his house.

I slump back down on the porch swing. I don't think I was being selfish but I didn't even think about him. I didn't think he spent so much time with me because he needed me. I start to feel guilty and confused. Did I really want to spend less time with him or was it just my need to be independent. Was I subconsciously doing this.

I sigh.

I feel like I just crushed Finnick's heart a little. I could tell by the look on his face he was hurt especially when he said he hadn't had any contact with me for two weeks. Me asking not to see him was probably like a stab in the gut. I'm starting to feel worse because he was gone for so long because of me.

I think he was right. I was being selfish. All I thought about was me.

I put my hands over my face.

"What did I just do to you Finnick Odair?" I mutter to myself.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

I walk to Lana's house frustrated at Finnick or myself the jury is still out on that one. I need to talk to someone about this and Lana is the person right now mostly because my Mom is working at our family shop. I could interrupt her but, that also means I have to go into town by myself. I shiver at the thought. Something else I can't do without Finnick by my side.

I sigh in frustration and walk right into Lana's house not bothering to knock. I know she is here by herself because her parents are at work.

"Who's there?" She asks while coming from her bedroom.

"It's Annie." I say even though she can see me.

She rolls her eyes.

"Why do you look so nice?"

"Jason was gonna come over and-

"Stop." I say because I have a feeling I know what she is going to say.

"No, to what you are thinking." She smiles.

"Oh... then why do you look like that?" I ask.

"Like what? It's shorts and a t-shirt."

"Maybe it's because the hair is down." I smile.

Her sandy blonde hair is down and wavy. Lana rarely wears her hair down unless she is doing or going somewhere important sans Hunger Games related things.

"Maybe." She says.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere really." She smiles. "So what do I own the honor of this visit?"

"I wanted to complain to you."

"Does this have to do with Finnick?"

"Why would you say that?"

"Because a few days before he came back you had that notebook keeping tabs on when you needed him or something."

"I did and I realized I needed him too much."

"You have a very strange thought process Annie."

"No I don't, when I was walking here I was reminded I can't even come into town without him."

"False you go into town with me all the time. You just need someone with you."

Ii sigh "It's different with Finnick."

"Well maybe you should talk to him about this."

"I did."

"What did he say?"

"He got angry and walked back to his house."

"What did you say?"

"I told him I spend too much time with him and that I wanted to see less of him and then-

"Dammit Annie."

"What?"

"You probably crushed that poor boys heart telling him that after he was in the Capitol doing terrible things. For the majority of the time I bet he was thinking I can't wait to get home so I can see Annie. Then he gets home and you tell him you need to see him less. Of course he's mad at you."

"Hey you're supposed to be on my side here."

"There are no sides Annie I'm just saying that is probably why he is mad at you."

"But-

"Take a minute and try to see the roles reversed. If you went to the Capitol and Finnick told you he wanted to cool things off as soon as you got back, how would you feel?" She looks at me with her knowing look and I do think about it.

If I came back and the first thing that happens would be hearing the person I love most say they want to see less of me, myy heart would be crushed a little too. But, I can't be with him too much. I don't know why but something in mind is saying stay away from him.

"You see what I mean?" She asks.

"Yes but-

"There should be no buts."

"Well there is. I understand why he is mad and probably feeling what he is feeling but, I still feel like I spend too much time with him."

"And why do you think that?"

"I don't know it's just this instinctive feeling."

"Well maybe you should tell your instincts that they have no idea what they are talking about."

"Its not that simple." I mutter.

"Maybe for you because you like being alone."

"That's not true."

"Annie yes you do and there's nothing wrong with that. You prefer to have friends that you are really close with opposed to a whole pool of friends you can choose from and you feel perfectly content if you would just stay home all day and read or something."

"What's wrong with that?"

"As I said nothing however it doesn't work that way with Finnick."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm pretty sure he needs you. I think that's why he spend so much time with you after you won. You needed someone but I think he liked having someone to talk to about all this messed up shit that was his age. And I don't know if you noticed this but Finnick doesn't have many friends. And by many I mean zero besides you and his brother and sister. Don't you find that curious?" She says.

"I never really thought about it like that. I thought he was jus feeling sorry for me or something." I mutter.

"I'm pretty sure the reason he didn't have any fiends was because he was paranoid someone would just hurt them."

"He is still is though." I mutter.

"Well, maybe he thinks being with you is worth the risk."

"Maybe." I mutter knowing she is probably right.

"Don't you see Annie, it was never just about you. It was about him too. It's always been Annie and Finnick. You're like that animal that can live without the other."

"That's a bad thing though Lana."

"No its not." She says

"Youre giving me relationship advice Miss one month." I smirk

"Hey I'm trying, at least I'm not just saying stop seeing him because that is what I would've said before."

"I don't know how to tell him I'm sorry with still feeling what I am."

"Are you sorry?" She asks.

"I'm sorry I upset him and that I probably should've told him in a different way but not about what I said because that is what I want and am feeling."

"I'm going to give you some advise it's not a weakness to need someone else to be there for you."

"You sound like my mother." I mutter.

"Well if two people say it, then it must be true right?" She smirks.

"I guess." I sigh.

She looks at the clock.

"Jason's going to be here soon you should go a talk with Finnick."

"Maybe I can ask Jason-

She gives me a look that says you're pathetic.

"Fine I'll go and talk to Finnick."

"Good I'll be waiting for the update."

"I'm sure you will." I say and walk out of her house.

I see Jason on the way out of Lana's house and he turns around awkwardly in the other direction.

"Jason!" I shout. "Jason!" I shout again.

He turns around.

"Annie, was that you?" He says awkwardly.

"Yes it was me now tell me why were you trying to avoid me?"

"Well, Finnick said that-

"What did he say?"

"That you know it was a time out or something he's not seeing you at the moment."

"He said what."

"He said uh... that you guys erm wanted some time apart or something."

"What?" I say again.

"Oh there must have been some confusion on what happened. I never know what to do in these awkward situations." He says and rubs the back of his neck.

He starts to walk off but I grab his arm..

"You're going to go back to your brother and tell him-

"I had plans with Lana and already which you knew about."

"But-

"I'm not your and Finnick's go between. He wanted me to tell you something but, I said no."

He starts to walk off.

"Hey, Hey not so fast Jason."

"What?" He says and it looks like he is trying not to laugh.

"What did he want you to tell me."

"Does it really matter?"

"It matters to me."

"It was about some locket or something."

My hand goes to my neck but, it isn't there.

"What about it?"

"I don't remember."

"Was he asking for it back?"

"I don't know maybe."

"Excuse me." I say and make my way back to Victors Village.

"It could've been something else." He shouts as I walk away.

I head to Finnick's house and bang on the door.

Finnick opens the door.

"Where's the fire Cresta?" He smiles. I roll my eyes.

If I didn't know any better I would say he isn't mad anymore but I can tell he is and I am too. I can almost hear the bell and the announcer say its time for round two.


	44. Chapter 44

** Chapter 44**

"I heard you wanted the locket you gave me back. I would give it back but, I don't have it on me."

"What are you talking about Annie?" He asks.

"You told Jason that-

"I was going to give it back to you Annie." He smiles. "You gave it to me to fix because the chain broke in the Capitol remember?"

I do remember. After I locked myself in the closet thinking I was still in the arena, I banged my head against the wall and it broke the clasp. That was how I knew I was in reality because the note inside that said _turn around_ from that scavenger hunt.

He looks at me with that smug look he has. I know he is right.

"I was going to tell him you could come by and get it." He smirks.

"Well he also said that we were on time out or something like that."

"Well, you did say you wanted to see less of me." He says.

"That's not what I meant Finnick."

"I know." He says.

"You're still mad."

"Maybe a little." He says. He is smiling but, I can tell he means it.

"I'm getting the feeling I'm sorry isn't going to cut it."

"Not really." He says.

"Finnick you don't understand-

"You're right I don't." He says.

"It's just... it's hard to explain."

"Well, try." He says.

"I don't know if I can."

Finnick rocks back on his heels.

"Can you try please." He looks at me and after a few minutes he cocks his head to the side.

"Annie?" He says.

"What? You're expecting me to come up with an answer on the fly. I don't have one Finnick. I don't know why I feel this way. I all I know is I do."

Finnick rolls his eyes and walks back to his house and I follow.

"You think you can leave the room and that will change the topic?" I ask him.

"Of course not I don't want to have it out with you outside everyone can see it then."

"Oh."

"I don't understand Annie when you were in the Capitol crying and having panic attacks-

"I'm sorry about that Finnick truly I am." I say annoyed.

"That's not what I'm I talking about, you kept saying you needed me and you never wanted me to leave. Was that a lie or did you only say that because you needed me at that moment in time?"

"That's not it Finnick."

"Then why does it feel like it is? Why do I feel like you're using me?"

I sigh

"Finnick please don't be so over dramatic."

"Over dramatic." He says and laughs from disbelief.

"Yes over dramatic." I glare at him. "I say one thing and then you freak out and think I'm using you like people in the Capitol and-

"Ugh my god Annie that is not what I meant."

"It sure sounded like it."

"Well it's not."

"Well me saying I need less time with you doesn't mean I don't love you any less."

"I never said that, is that what you were thinking?"

"No."

"Then why would you say it?"

"Because I thought that is what you were saying from my statement the other day."

"Well it's not okay. I just don't understand why you need more _Annie time,_ as you put it, when you haven't seen me for two weeks."

"I didn't mean it needed to happen right away, I just wanted to tell you what I was feeling and thinking which I thought I was allowed to do."

"You do but-

"And I don't think you have any room to judge in this scenario."

"What the hell does that mean?" He says angrily.

"You freezed me out right before the Victory Tour and afterwards you kept your distance and you kept trying to-

"That's different Annie." He says angry and defensively.

"No it's not this-

"Yes it is Annie. I was trying to protect you and you are doing this because you want to and-

"Protect me." I scoff. "From what? Your paranoid state of thinking that everyone you come close to is going to die."

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't want you to die."

I sigh.

"Snow wasn't going to kill me."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm a victor he can't kill me."

He looks at me strangely.

"Is that what you really think?"

"Why would I think something else?"

"I don't know I told you about the deal and the -

"You're not seriously suggesting that I thought I wouldn't die because of that deal. That I was one of the people you were protecting."

"That's what it sounds like."

"You are crazy."

"I'm crazy? _I'm _crazy that is a rich statement." He says in an unbelievable tone.

"Why?" I ask.

He scoffs.

"Really you to ask? You're in no position to judge if someone is crazy."

I look at me strangely.

"You think I'm crazy don't you." I say softly because I can't believe what he is insinuating.

"Annie-." He says and his face has realization of what he just said.

I can feel my eyes filling up with tears.

"Don't you!" I shout this time.

"No Annie I don't."

I scoff and turn around to leave but he grabs my wrist so I won't.

"What?" I say angrily.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"That was a pretty clean cut statement Finnick you think I'm crazy."

"No I don't it was just the heat of the moment. I'm sorry."

"Keep your apology I don't want it."

"Annie please don't leave."

"Why you're just going to hit below the belt again." I say and try to get him to let go of me.

"Annie."

"Let me go Finnick! I always thought you thought I was crazy! I can't believe you made me think otherwise." I say. The tears are starting to reach the overflowing point.

"Annie-

"Let me go I want to go home."

"Annie please don't go."

"Let me go!" I shout.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't going to cut it." I say and I can feel the hot tears dripping down my cheeks. "You made me cry sorry isn't going to cut it Finnick just let me go home."

Finnick lets go of my arm. I can see the pain on his face but I don't care. It's his fault, he made me cry.

"I'll see you later." He says.

"Whatever." I say and slam his front door and walk to my house. I slump against the my front door until I'm sitting on the floor. I push my knees to my chest and start sobbing. I don't know if it's because Finnick called me crazy or because I was fighting with him. I don't want to fight with Finnick. I don't want to fight with anyone at all.

**A/N: Two chapters in one day erm mah gawd lol I just really like writing this story arc but, poor Annie and Finnick ;(**


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

I'm upstairs in my room lying on my side and I can feel the tears rolling down my face and get all over my pillow. I stopped sobbing but, I can't stop the tears from coming out of my eyes. It's as if someone turned on a faucet and I can't turn it off.

I hear a knock on my front door. I hope it isn't Finnick I don't want to talk or see him yet. I peer out my bedroom window and can see it is him. He knows I'm in here and he probably won't leave until I open the door.

I sigh and head downstairs and open the door. I don't bother wiping the tears from my face.

I see Finnick's face and he looks guilty when he sees me. He knows why I'm crying and it's because of him.

"Annie I'm sorry."

"Finnick I don't want to talk to you yet please leave. I will come to you when I do."

He puts his hand on the door knowing I was about to close it.

"Annie please don't shut me out."

"I'm not. I just don't want to talk to you now. I want to be alone can you accept that?"

"I'm sorry I can't take back what I said." He moves his hand towards my face and wipes off some of the tears and I feel alright. I shake my head and back away a little. My body is telling me to let Finnick in and hug him so he can make me feel better but my head is saying that he hurt me and I should be alone for a few more hours.

"Annie I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean it was just I was frustrated-

"You know people say you only tell the real truth when you're either drunk or angry. You were angry Finnick."

"Well I don't know who these people are but that wasn't the case."

"Then why did you say it?"

"I was angry."

"No kidding but, when you said that you hurt me.

"Annie-

"You don't know what it's like Finnick I always think you think I'm … crazy. Everyone calls me that Finnick."

"No they don't."

"The majority of people do." I mumble.

"Well I'm not one of them. Your are many things Annie Cresta but, crazy is not one of them."

"Than what am I then? What am I to you?"

"Smart, kind, caring for others and never expect anything in return, selfless, stunning." He pauses "Breathtakingly beautiful." He smiles and places a strand of hair behind my ear and I smile.

He leans in to kiss me but I back away.

"I love you Finnick."

"Why do I get the feeling a but is approaching."

"Because I cried for hours after you said that. I'm still crying. It just can't be forgiven by a few nice compliments and a kiss."

"Annie I was just upset about the situation because I just can't wrap my head around what you said."

"I don't care there are some things you're not suppose to say and that was one of them."

"Then use one on me."

"What?"

"Say one of the things that you aren't supposed to say to me. Then we will be even."

"No we won't Finnick. It doesn't work like that."

"Well-

"Besides I wouldn't be able to say it."

He sighs.

"I can't take those words back Annie. You need to accept that and believe me when I say I don't think you're crazy."

"I- I…

"Annie." He says and before I can think of something to say he hugs me. I close my eyes and lean against his chest.

He kisses my forehead.

"Please don't tell me to leave." He says

I want to object but the words get stuck in my throat.

"I just got caught up in the moment and couldn't understand your thought process Annie."

And there it is. The words stuck in my throat seem to come out as easy as vomit. I let go of him.

"I'm sorry." I say and let go step away from him. "But that's the problem Finnick, you keep looking for an answer but I don't have one."

"I don't think that's true."

"You think I'm lying?"

"No." Finnick breathes in and out "I don't want to fight with you Annie, I'm just trying to understand."

"Well how can I give you the answer when I don't know it myself, that is what is upsetting me."

He looks at me.

"I just-

"What is it just?" I ask.

"I don't understand."

"I know but-

"I wasn't finished. I don't understand because I would never ask to spend less time with you."

"Well I'm not like you then."

"Are you afraid that you're going to lose yourself or something?"

"No I'm just... like I said I don't know."

"You have no idea." He says annoyed

"No if I did I would tell you, you know that."

He breathes out.

"I guess."

"Finnick."

"Let's put this argument on pause." Finnick says.

"What? This isn't really argument."

"Well whatever this is it seems like a good place to collect our thoughts."

"You mean for me to try and give you an answer."

"Maybe."

"Finnick please don't leave until this is figured out."

"I told Marci I see her soon and I can't be late for that."

"Fine I guess."

"I'll see you later Annie." He says and my kisses my forehead. I watch him leave.

I grab a pillow and place it over my face and fall back on the sofa. I sit here for who knows how long.

I sigh and hear the front door open.

"Annie are you here?" I hear my mother ask.

"Living room." I say.

She walks in and sees me lying on the couch with my left leg and arm leaning off the side.

"Something wrong sweets?"

"Nothing I'm fine."

"Clearly." She smiles and looks at the clock. "No, Finnick today?"

"No I don't need him." I mutter. She sits next to me and I sit up.

"Are you still fighting with him?"

"I tell him one thing and he blows it way out of proportion goes and calls me crazy."

"I don't think he called you crazy."

"He did but, he was angry."

"Well he didn't mean it then." She smooths my hair.

"Then why would he have said it."

"People say all kinds of things when they are upset."

"Usually those things are true."

"No they aren't."

"I guess."

She hugs me and I lean into her and she rubs my back

"Why doesn't he understand." I say.

My mother smiles.

"Do you understand him?"

"Yes."

"Then what does he say?"

"He thinks I shouldn't want to spent less time with him because I need him so why does he need that and he keeps asking for why I feel this way but I don't know and he doesn't seem to understand that-

"Annie woah slow down for a minute."

I sigh.

"I can't stand him sometimes Mom. He can freeze me out but the minute I want less time he things I'm crazy and I'm not crazy he's crazy. He's crazy. Why doesn't he see it my way. Why does he make me feel so angry but at the same time strangely happy and safe?"

"It's because you love him."

"Okay." I mutter. "If I loved him I don't think I would be fighting so much with him."

"Annie." She smiles.

"What?"

"Love isn't all rainbows and butterflies."

"It's supposed to be that's what all the stories from childhood taught me."

"Those are just make believe stories. It's no less true than having a magical fairy godmother."

"So what love? Is it just a stupid emotion that idiots feel."

"No it's about being your true self around someone else."

"I feel that but I also feel like ripping out all my hair right now."

"There is no such thing as a fairy tale romance Annie. There is no perfect romance with no fights or disagreements and if there is then it isn't very real. When you fight you're generally fighting for that person. When the fighting stops then you should worry because it might mean there's nothing you think is worth fighting for."

I don't know how to respond I feel like my whole childhood was a lie. I guess she is right there is no magical prince that is going to sweep me off my feet. No fairy god mother going to get rid of the monsters and make my life perfect picture. No nirvana that has no death and despair. No magic armor or words that can automatically save me. None of it is true and it never will be.

I do know that I will never stop fighting with that idiot because Finnick Odair is wroth fighting for.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

I'm sitting on the couch. It's been two days and I haven't seen Finnick and he isn't at his house. I think he is with his Uncle still which is probably not a good thing. I would seek him out but, I don't know where his Uncle lives.

I leave the house to go for a walk. I sit at the dock near Victors Village hoping I will see Finnick come back.

I lie down on the down on the dock and let the sun shine on me.

After awhile someone sits next to me. I open my eyes and see Finnick.

"Where have you been Finnick?" I say and sit up.

"Giving you Annie time." He says

"Are you trying to fight with me?" I ask him.

"Of course not."

I sigh.

"We keep having the same fight." I say.

"I really don't want to fight with you Annie. I just wanted to give you this." He says and pulls out the locket.

"Thank you." I say taking it in my hand.

"Your welcome. I have to be going but, make sure to open it I think I could've damaged the hinge."

I nod not really caring. He kisses my cheek

"Bye Annie."

"Bye Finnick. I say and he walks off.

"That's all I get after two days. My locket back and a kiss on the cheek." I mutter to myself and head back to my house. I sit around the house and help my mom make dinner and then I head upstairs to go to sleep.

My head hits the pillow but, I can't fall asleep. I toss and turn but it doesn't come. I pick the locket up from the bedside table and run it threw my fingers. I do this to keep my mind at ease so I won't have any delusions. I usually have delusions or panic attacks when I can't fall asleep. I look at the locket and notice it is shinier than before maybe, it is because the chain is new. I run my hand over the oval shape and admire the design it looks like the waves at low tide. It is simple but, that is why I like it but, something feels different about it some how.

I sigh when I would hold onto the locket I would always feel safe because it would remind me of Finnick. I feel safe but, something else as well. It just feels... different. I think it is because I've been fighting with him maybe that's why I can't sleep either.

I open the locket but, before I can close it something falls on my chest. I'm assuming it's the _turn around_ piece of paper but, it's not. This one is new. Then I remember Finnick wanted me to open it.

"Alright Finnick Odair what trick are you trying to pull this time." I say and turn on the bedside lamp and I unfold the paper which is a full piece of paper. It is folded probably a dozen times

_Annie, I figured I wouldn't be able to find the right words to say to your face so I wrote it down to make it easier. I want to say sorry first for everything. I should have just let you spend your few hours away from me without trying to question it or find a reason. I shouldn't have keep perusing it especially since I was hurting you. I know you want to spend time away from me but, I can't stay away from you. However, I still want to fulfill your wish so I will admire you from afar like a stalker. I might even hide in a bush but it doesn't matter as long as I am close with you._

I smile. "Where are you going with this Finnick."

_I know you think that you love me too much and that you spend too much time with me but, I don't care and I'm happy to be that person for you. If that is your only crutch in life I don't think it is a bad thing. Annie you are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. I need you even though I suspect you don't believe that. Annie, when I go to the Capitol I know I will be alright because I get to see your beautiful face again._

_You make me forget about bad things that have happened and I know I love you more than I should but, I don't care. I called you crazy which I am truly sorry for. I can't take that back. Besides I think the only crazy person here is me especially when I'm with you because when I'm with you I forget how to breathe or think or do anything really. All I know is that I'm with you and I don't want to leave. All I know is that I need you._

"Holy shit." I say and am surprised because I never talk like this.

I get out of bed and look at the clock it's three thirty in the morning but, I don't care. I go downstairs and out the door not bothering to change or put on shoes. I go to Finnick's house and try to open the door but, it's locked. Of course it would be it's three in the morning.

I sigh. Then I remember where his hiding key is. I find it and unlock the door and head upstairs to his bedroom.

It takes me less than a minute to realize that Marci and Jason are staying here this week. I try to be as quite as possible so I don't wake them. I open Finnick's door slowly and sit on one of the chairs and watch him sleep for a few minutes. He looks so peaceful which is nice to see because the past couple of days have been filled with mostly anger and guilt.

I make a slight move and then Finnick bolts awake quickly and grabs something from the nightstand.

"Finnick relax it's just me.

"Annie what are you doing here?"

"I just-

"Hang on how did you get into my house the door was locked."

"I found your hiding key."

"Breaking into my house Annie tsk tsk." He smiles and puts what he grabbed on the nightstand back. I get a better look at what it and notice it is a knife.

"You're not going to stab me are you?"

"What?" He asks and soon understands. "No that's just in case… the nightmares." He says. I nod and walk closer to him and sit on the bed.

"Okay Annie Cresta what are you doing in my house at." His eyes flicker to the clock. "3:30 in the morning?"

"I-

"This a booty call?" He teases.

"No." I roll my eyes "But you already knew that."

He smiles but then has a more composed look on his face.

"Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"Yes no. I got your note."

"Took you long enough to open it Miss. Cresta." He smiles.

"I didn't think there would be something like this inside."

He nods.

"It was subtle. So you come to break my heart?" He says.

"Of course not. I came for forgiveness."

"Annie I-

"Let me finish."

He nods.

"I think I know the answer now." I whisper.

"What?"

"To your question."

"I said you didn't need to give me one. Didn't you read the note?"

"I did you want to stalk me and hide in bushes to be near me and that is borderline obsession or addiction but, we can analyze that later."

He smiles

"It's just I didn't know before but reading that note I realized it."

"What is it then?"

"I can't live without you." I pause "And I'm afraid that if I'm with you too much I won't know how to be by myself anymore."

He hugs me and strokes my hair and kisses my forehead.

"You're never going to have that problem Annie because you're strong."

"But-

"If your only complaint in life at the moment is loving someone too much I think you'll be okay."

"But what if you die or something? What if you go to the Capitol and don't come back? What if-

"Annie there could be a million what ifs with a million different answers but for right now don't worry about any of it." He places hair behind my ear.  
"Just worry about the present, just worry about being here with me."

I hug him and it is silent for a few minutes.

"Okay." I say.

He leans in to kiss me and this time I let him.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too."

I hug him and don't feel like leaving. I lay down and Finnick keeps his arms around me and I fall asleep quickly.

* * *

I wake up and am confused by my surroundings. I'm not in my room. I look to my left and see Finnick and then I remember I came over here last night to apologize and didn't leave because I didn't want to.

I roll over and look at Finnick he looks so peaceful. I have seen him sleep before but, he has never looked this peaceful.

He looks years younger and innocent, like nothing has ever hurt him. I can still make out the worry lines on his face but he still looks at peace.

Wherever his mind has taken him isn't a bad place. It's somewhere that will not hurt him maybe it is because we aren't fighting anymore or maybe he is just having a nice peaceful sleep. More times than not that though that, isn't the case.

Finnick has nightmares a lot because of the terrible things that happened in the arena; being forced to kill multiple people at fourteen. He also has a recurring dream of his parent dying over and over again. When this happens I feel sorry for him but at the same time it's nice to see that I'm not the only person who has nightmares. I wonder what would happen if all the victors got together to have a slumber party. I wonder how many of us would wake up screaming. I'm thinking the majority. I wonder if the people from One and Two even have nightmares.

If I had Finnick with me it wouldn't be as bad because he makes me feel safe. He makes me feel warm. He makes me feel at peace. He makes me feel loved.

I stare at Finnick sleeping until he wakes up. Even though Finnick and I were fighting for the last few days I know that I'm lucky to have him.  
Fighting with Finnick will always be worth it because I know eventually I will make up with him because I love him and because I know he is worth fighting for.

"Good morning Annie." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Morning. I should probably go home. I don't want my Mom to worry."

He nods his head and kisses me.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"No really I do."

"Go back to sleep Finnick." I say. Finnick says he has never been drunk but, when he wakes up without enough sleep he seems it.

He nods.

"I'll see you later." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Okay." He says and I get up and leave.

I walk down the stairs carefully. I don't want to wake up Marci or Jason even though I had no problem barging in at 3:30 in the morning.

"Hello Annie." I jump at the sound of Jason's voice.

"Jason you're up early."

"Light sleeper." He smiles "Can I consider this your walk of shame."

"Excuse me?"

"Well you come here late at night and don't leave until early morning you try and sneak out." He raises his eyebrows.

I roll my eyes.

"No."

"I knew the answer already. This may be a Capitol house but the walls are thin. If you need help analyzing Finnick's obsession for you I think I may be able to help you there." He smiles.

"What makes you say that?"

"Annie please when I'm with him 85% of the time he's talking about you."

"So when he's with you and Marci-

"No just me. Marci talks to Finnick about normal things. She asks about you sometimes. She likes you Annie."

"I figured that one out myself." I pause "I'm probably going to ask you something I shouldn't."

"Bring it on Cresta." He smiles." If that's true I won't answer it."

Sure enough, Finnick and him are cut from the same cloth.

"What's the deal with your Uncle?"

"Michael? Why don't you just ask Finnick about this?"

I bob my head back and forth.

"I feel like he is bias."

"And I'm not?"

"Michael seems to have a personal vendetta against just him."

"You know the stuff about him and our Mom right?"

"Yes."

"All of it? Or just the watered down version?"

"All of it what do you mean?"

"If you have to ask you don't know the full story."

"Finnick just told me your parents weren't married. I heard your Uncle call him a mistake. He blames Finnick for your parents death and he thinks so little of his sister that he basically called her a whore."

"That's probably about-

"Oh and he locked your grandmother up so he could take care of you."

"Okay that's about 15% of the story."

"What's the rest then?"

He looks up the stairs.

"I'll talk to you about this later."

"But-

"Annie trust me Finnick hasn't heard the full story either." He says. I look at him confused.

"I'll come by your house later today alright?"

I nod and then leave. I wonder what he means by Finnick doesn't know the whole story either. It's his life shouldn't he know about it?


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

I hear a knock on my door and when I open it I see Jason.

"Come in." I motion.

He does.

"You can sit anywhere." I say and he heads to the living area. "Now what exactly did you mean Finnick doesn't know the whole story."

"Some of the memories are too traumatic so he doesn't remember."

"You mean like Marci and your parents."

"Sort of Marci is starting to figure out our parents are dead though."

"That's good."

"I think so too."

"But what happened to Finnick?"

"Let me just start from the beginning."

"Okay."

"Now Michael makes it seem that him and my Mother were best friends or something but that was further from the truth. They weren't close or anything and he always despised her. According to our Grandmother she thinks it is because she was more successful than he was. Anyways when he found out our mother got pregnant unmarried he lost his shit Annie, like really bad. Gran wouldn't tell us the full story but I think he might have beat of our Dad-

"That's terrible."

"You're going to be saying that more, believe me."

I swallow hard if this is just the beginning I don't think I want to know the rest.

"Anyways after that he stopped talking to her for awhile. I think Gran said it was around the time Finnick was born when he came back and said he was sorry but, he also said he couldn't believe that she did something so irresponsible.

"He thought that would be the right way to get back into your mother's life." I say baffled.

"Apparently."

"That didn't work did it?"

"Not really Gran said he came by almost every day and she got tired of fighting with him so she just let him come over. She never let him touch Finnick though or so I'm told but, remember that part Annie it's important."

I nod.

"Anyway after he weaseled his way back into her life he kept giving his opinion on things."

"What type of things?"

"Her life he didn't want her marry my father he said she shouldn't have any more kids."

"Why."

He shrugs.

"No idea."

"Well it didn't work." I smile.

"You're telling me." He smirks.

"Anyways after I was born she saw how nice he was to me so she let him be around more. Except it was appaerent that he didn't like Finnick still."

"Why?"

"Why he doesn't like Finnick I don't know. How I know his because he would never call Finnick by his name."

"Then what did he call him?" I have a feeling I know. I hope he just didn't call Finnick a mistake for his childhood life.

"Mostly mistake or bastard."

"Your mother just-

"He didn't do it when our parents were in the room. Of course being a young child you become curious and Finnick asked our parents what that word meant. They told him they weren't married but they didn't love him any less. I think they told off Michael because we didn't see him for a few months."

"You're Uncle is worse than I thought."

"Keep listening Annie."

"I can't imagine anything worse than that." I say.

"Well, I'm about to disappoint you." He says. "Michael came back every few weeks but our parents were on edge when he was there."

"Why didn't they send him away?"

"I don't know maybe they thought that was worse. He got better by the time Marci was born. I think he just got over all of it or so he made everyone believe. Really he was just waiting for the right time.

"What do you mean?"

I was around seven making Finnick nine."

"I can do that math and Marci was three."

"She was actually two because she didn't have her birthday yet." He smiles and I roll my eyes

"Anyways our parents had to go to some required event that I think was enforced by the Capitol. They didn't want to leave us alone because we weren't that old. Our grandparents were busy and most of their friends had to go to this event so they left us with Michael."

"What did he do to you?"

"Nothing… to me. Our parents had been gone for probably an hour and we had just finished dinner. Finnick and I would always help our parents clean up so Finnick and I went to the kitchen to help. Michael said we didn't really need help but because Finnick insisted he let him."

Jason pauses

"What? What did he do to Finnick?"

"I was told to leave the room and check on Marci, she was sleeping and only a toddler. I did and she was crying I think she needed her diaper changed or something. I went back downstairs to tell Michael this. When I walked down the stairs I could hear Finnick crying out in pain. I got closer to the kitchen and remember he was telling Finnick he was disgusting waste of space, mistake, and that he shouldn't be here."

"That's terrible."

"No this next part is remember I said he was yelping out in pain.-

"Please tell him your Uncle wasn't.

"He was hitting him Annie really hard to. His face was all red the next day it was all bruised too. My mind couldn't really comphred what was going on I just say him hitting Finnick repeadtly. I'll never forget the look on Finnick's face when I was in the door way. It was sheer terror except he had a shred of hope when I was seeing what was going on.

"Michael stopped hitting him when I came over. I ran over to Finnick to make sure he was alright. I remember shouting at Michael "Why are you doing this?" He said "Because he deserves it." Michael then picked up one of the butter knives from the sink and dragged it trough Finnick forearm so it started to bleed. Then he got up and left. Finnick was screaming and crying. The blood was getting everywhere and Marci was crying too. I had no idea what to do so I just sat there with Finnick. Mostly in shock I was only seven.

"Our parents didn't come home for two more hours. They took Finnick to the hospital because the cut was too deep and he needed stitches. I didn't go, my mother went with him and my father stayed with us. According to Gran if the cut would have been an inch to the left it would've ruptured a main artery and Finnick would've been dead within a minute. Finnick needed fourteen stitches on his arm.

"The next day Michael came to the house I don't know what for but, as soon as he was there Gran took is outside to play but really it was to make sure we didn't hear what they were saying. I couldn't really make anything but, I do remember my father yelling "You could've killed him." Then my mother said "Could've he almost did kill him." Michael respond "With so what I would be doing society a favor." They said some other things and then he stormed out. Gran made sure to hold onto Finnick tightly. After that happened my mother ran over to Finnick picked him up and started crying. She didn't let go of Finnick for probably a week. She kept looking at him like he was the best thing in the world and that she was lucky or something. I think it was because he was still alive.

Jason looks at me.

"Finnick doesn't remember this at all or any of the abuse that Michael gave to him which Michael soon picked up on after our parents died. He liked getting away with it too."

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"He already has enough bad memories to deal with, he doesn't need anymore."

I nod

"Anyways after that day we didn't see Michael until we found out our parents died. Michael came to Finnick's house in Victors Village. I don't know how he knew that Finnick said no to the deal or he just thought it was his fault, but he came trough the door called Finnick a bastard son like he did when he was younger and then he punched Finnick. He wasn't expecting it so he fell to the floor. Michael got the upper hand and kept hitting him until his face was all bloody. Michael had to be forcefully pulled off of him. I truly believe if it was just them in the house he would've beaten Finnick to death."

I clear my throat not knowing what to say.

"How exactly did he get your grandmother locked up?"

"I don't know the answer to that one."

"Why did he get custody then?"

"He was the only other family member that was alive. Finnick didn't know that Michael was appointed guardian because he was in the Capitol. He sill though Gran was taking care of us. When he came back he didn't see us in his house and thought we were killed or something. He asked Mags where we were and she told him what happened. Michael wouldn't let us see him, but of course we figured out a way so we could still see each other. Michael finally just gave in when Marci kept crying and saying she wanted to see Finnick and now we pretty much caught up to present day."

"That's why you stay there with Marci because you don't want to leave her alone with him."

"Exactly Finnick and I always make sure she isn't alone with him in case something happens to her."

"Marci is so innocent too."

He nods.

"I don't think he would hurt her, but still I wouldn't want to risk it knowing what he did to Finnick."

"If Finnick doesn't remember-

"He did beat him after he dies and still verbally abuses him. He used to try and not do it in front of Marci but he doesn't give a shit anymore."

All I can mutter is

"Holy shit."

"I didn't know you said things like that Annie."

"I don't unless it is something like this I mean fuck Jason."

"I know."

"I feel guilty."

He smiles.

"Why?"

"Before I knew Finnick I hated him because I thought he hated his family but holy shit."

He wraps his arm around me.

"Annie don't feel guilty you didn't know him and I'm pretty sure most of Panem thinks he doesn't care about anyone except himself."

I guess. I hear my front door open.

"Annie." She walks into the living room. "What the hell is this?" She ask smiling.

"Jason and I are having an affair you caught us." I smile and and Jason stands up and walks towards her.

She rolls her eyes and sits down.

"So what are we talking about?"

"Nothing really." I say.

"Are you helping her make up with Finnick?"

"No they made up all by themselves."

"Really." Lana smiles.

Jason leans in whispers something in here ear.

"Spent the night you say." She raises her eyebrows "Slept in the same bed you say." She smirks.

I roll my eyes.

"Are you too finished here?" She asks.

"I think so." I say.

"You want to leave?" She asks him.

"Didn't you come here to see Annie."

"Well, I was going to be here because she was fighting with Finnick but, because that got all starighted out I don't think she needs me. Do you?"

"Leave." I say and roll my eyes.

"Okay I'll see you later then and we can talk all about what happened last night."

"Nothing."

"Well, I still want to know." She smiles and her and Jason leave hand in hand.

I sigh and slump back in my chair. I can't believe Finnick's life. It is so tragic, I think it is better that he doesn't remember but, it isn't right that his Uncle is getting away from it.

I sit in my house for a while just thinking about everything Jason has told me, my mind still can't wrap around it. I think I just need to go see him. I'm not going to tell him but, I want to see him anyways.

I walk over to Finnick's house and knock on the door and Marci opens it.

"Annie!" She shouts with glee.

"Hi Marci." I say.

"Come in." She grabs my hand forcefully and drags me into the kitchen. "Finnick look who I found." She smiles.

"Annie was at the front door then." He says.

"No duh." She smiles. Finnick rolls his eyes.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I see cooking supplies everywhere.

"Making cupcakes." Marci said.

"She insisted." Finnick says and I can tell this wasn't his idea but, he would do it for Marci besides you get cupcakes.

"And you're just in time Annie." Marci smiles.

"Why is that?" I ask.

"It's time to decorate them."

"Actually they have to cook a few more minutes Marci, then cool and-

"Shh Finnick." She says.

And I have to stop myself from laughing.

"Yeah Finnick shh." I mock.

He cocks his head, squints, and smiles.

"We made all different kinds of frosting."

"They're actually just different colors Marci."

"Whatever." She says.

I look and see the colors. They have pink, purple, green, blue, white, brown, red, yellow, and orange.

"What's your favoirte color Marci?" I ask.

"I like blue but, also pink."

I nod.

"And yours Annie?"

"Light purple." I smile.

"What's Finnick's Marci?" I ask. I don't know but, I want to see what she will say.

"He says green but, not just any green." She looks at him and smiles.

"What type of green?" I ask her.

"The green that our mothers eyes were. They look like Finnick's but, are brighter."

I notice she is using past tense and not present tense. Jason did say she was starting to realize her parents were dead.

"I see."

"Let me show you." She says and leaves the room.

"She's using past tense." I say to Finnick.

"Well, I think she is finally accepting what happened." Finnick tells me and I just think of Michael beating on me as a kid.

"What's wrong?" He asks me.

"Nothing, why?"

"You were just giving me a strange look."

I shrug.

"Mind must have been drifting." I say and Marci comes back holding something.

"See."

She hands it to me and I realize it is a photo of Finnick's parents. His Grandmother was right Finnick looks just like his mother. Very beautiful, she has that bronze blonde hair that went to her collar bone and framed her face perfectly, and the tan skin that most of District Four possesses. I can see what Marci means by the eyes, they do look like Finnick's but are fuller and brighter maybe it is because they hold wisdom. Finnick's father looks just like Jason he's handsome and has the same brown hair and blue eyes. No wonder they both have such good genes both of their parents were just as beautiful. Marci looks like both of her parents.

"I see what you mean Marci." I say.

She nods.

"She was pretty. Do you think I will be as pretty as her Finnick?"

"Of course you will be Marci, you already are." He says and kisses her forehead. The timer dings and Finnick takes the cupcakes out.

"Time to decorate." Marci says again.

"Not quite they have to cool so the icing doesn't melt off."

She sighs.

"I have to go talk with Mags for a second, can you stay with her for a second?"

"Of course." I say.

"Marci I'll right back don't burn the house down." He says.

"Don't worry I won't." She smiles.

Marci picks up a cook book and we head to the living room. She reads it and starts marking all of the things she wants to make.

We both jump when the door opens. I expected Finnick but, it's not, it's Michael.

"Time to leave Marci." He say.

"I thought I was staying here another night Uncle Michael."

He pauses.

"Oh that's right." He says "Well it looks like he is taking care of you. Is he here?"

"No he had to leave for a minute to talk to Mags. He left me with Annie though."

"I see." He looks at me "Tell Finnick I came by."

"You can bet I will."

His Uncle starts to walk out but, I want to talk to him.

"Marci do you think you'll be alright alone for minute."

"Of course but, where are you going?"

"I want to talk to your Uncle for a second."

"Okay." She nods and goes back to reading the cook book.

I go outside and see him walking out of the village.

"Hey!"

He stops and turns around.

"Something wrong Annie?"

"You bet there's something wrong."

"Does it have to do with Marci?"

"No it has to do with you, you disgusting excuse of human."

"I don't know why you're so mad Annie."

"You sicken me how can you live yourself knowing what you did to someone you see almost every day."

"You mean Finnick, I didn't know you cared so much that I called him a mistake. Which he is, don't be fooled."

"That's not what I meant."

He studies me.

"I don't know what Jason told you, but he was young your memories get distorted-

"Not about that they don't. When you see your brother getting beaten that becomes burned into your brain."

"Annie-

"I don't care what you say how can you do that to a child or to a sixteen year old."

"I'm doing what needs to be done."

"And what is that to kill him."

"Well I was hoping the arena would take care of that, but it didn't. I can't get rid of him now because Marci loves him too much. Besides, I think that would upset our beloved president."

"You are just like him."

"Finnick, please-

"No President Snow.

"Annie-

"You hurt people when it is unnecessary and you control them. You're a puppet master. You're a despicable human being."

"As I said memories become distorted."

"I take it back you're worse than Snow because he knows and admits what he is doing is evil, but you try and deny it and blame everyone else."

He grabs my arm hard and my vision starts to go blurry. I close my eyes and when I open them everything is in technicolor and intense. I can feel something else on my arm and the grasp of Michael is now gone.

"So bright." I say and close my eyes and when I open them this time I'm nowhere it's just white and gray. There is also fog on the ground.  
I look down and see I am wearing gray also. I see a long tunnel and decide to follow it.

"Annie." An eerie whisper says. I move faster to try and get away from it. I see the end of the tunnel and run out but almost fall off a cliff. Something or someone has grabbed me but I don't see it.

I look around and see I am in a mountainous abyss and it is still a blah gray color.

"Annie." I hear voice a say again.

"Annnnnie." The voice says and this time it is a loud cry.

I keep hearing my name until it is a yell and sounds almost like a beast. I sit down and rock back and forth trying to get rid of the noise. I become less aware of my surroundings. Until I feel something drip on my hand. I open my eyes and look on my hand and see blood.

I look up and see it is raining. I put my hand out to feel the water but when I pull my hand back I see blood.

"It's blood!" I shout.

I get up to run but I feel something grip my arm that isn't there. I push whatever it is off. I start to run to get away from the blood and to escape whatever was grabbing me.

I'm running so quickly that I trip and fall over myself and fall into a pond. I don't like water since I left the arena but when I come up for a breath. I notice it is thick I look around and see it is blood.

I scream and get out of the water but too fast because I hit my head and then everything goes black.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

My body jerks and I open my eyes and realize I'm in my room. My hair is wet and I'm in my pajamas. I don't remember how I got here, all I remember is falling into a blood lake. But that couldn't have been real or could it?

I sit up but soon regret it because I am dizzy. I lay back down and try to backtrack my memories to see if that will help try to figure out what actually happened. I start to think but, my mind turns into a mess and I put my hands over my face hoping not to cry.

I hear my bedroom door crack open and take my hands off my face. The light streams in and then the door opens all the way and I can see it is my mom.

She walks over to the bed and sits down and stokes my hair. I sit up and leave against the headboard

"How do you feel Annie?" She asks.

"I don't know." I say truthfully.

"Annie it's alright." She kisses my forehead. "You're safe here."

"I know, I just don't know." I say and feel like I'm going to cry."

"Oh honey. It's alright."

"What happened to me?"

"You fell down and hit your head."

"I know but, before that the bloody rain, the mountainous abyss, that eerie noise saying my name."

"Annie that wasn't real." She says gently

I look out the window and see it is raining. The blood rain must have just been regular rain, but wherever my mind took made me think it was blood.

"So I didn't fall into a blood pond?"

"No, I was told it was the pond near the exit of Victors Village."

"What else were you told?"

"Not much just that you were seeing things that weren't there. Which is fine Annie." She reassures me even though I know it's not. "Someone could answer your questions though."

"Finnick wasn't there." I mutter. The only person who was there was his uncle who grabbed my arm forcefully and I'm pretty sure he was going to hit me.

"Yes he was Annie." She moves hair out of my face.

"Well he's not here-

"Oh no." She smiles and motions towards the chair on the far side of the room. I see Finnick sleeping. I look to the clock it's only four in the afternoon Finnick must've been watching me sleep last night. Which he has done on other occasions. I could tell when I went over to his house earlier that he was a little off.

"How long have I been out?"

"A couple if hours. He's been here the whole time."

"And he's sleeping." I say and roll my eyes.

"Well normally I would assume it was nightmares keeping him up at night, but this times I don't think it is the case." She smiles.

"What do you mean?"

"I think he had a pretty girl distracting him." She smiles.

"You knew I was gone."

"Oh yes Annie. You may think seven thirty in the morning is early but I leave at eight to open the shop."

"How did you know I was there?"

"I saw the note on your bedside table and figured that is where you were."

"I see." I say.

She looks at Finnick then back at me.

"You know Annie you're eighteen now and-

"Mom please don't continue that sentence or even that thought."

"I'm just saying-

"Mom no."

She sighs.

"I'm just saying you leave and spend all night at his house and-

"Why does everyone thing I did something with Finnick while I was over there?"

"Well it isn't that hard to assume."

"Why because it's Finnick Odair." I say.

"No because you're young and in love and at this point in your life you-

"Mom okay I get the gist I don't need to talk to you about this."

"Just let me say something."

I sigh

"You've already said something."

"Just please be safe because-

"Ugh mom."

"I meant for your heart. Finnick goes to the Capitol a lot and I don't want you to get your heart broken because-

"I'm not going to get my heart broken."

"Annie you may say that now but I just don't want you to get confused. I know you love him and always will but this is an… interesting situation. Please just think about it and take it into consideration."

"Alright." I mutter. I never thought my mother would be giving me the sex talk, let alone with the guy in the room. Finnick could be awake and just pretending to be sleeping. I can feel my face turning red just at the thought.

"Now I will never bring this up again, alright?" She says

"Fine by me." I say.

"Unless you want to-

"I don't think so." I say.

"Alright because-

"Mom no." I say.

She pushes a strand behind my ear.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Can you get me some water?" I ask mostly because I want her to leave the room.

I look over at Finnick to make sure he is still asleep. I'm ninety eight percent sure he is.

I pick up one of my pillows and throw it at him and he jumps awake. He has that terrified look in his eyes. _Good he was asleep._I think to myself.

He soon realizes where he is.

"Annie." he says and walks over towards me

"Finnick what exactly happened?" I asked.

"You were talking to Michael for some reason and he grabbed your arm hard. He didn't hurt you did he?"

"Not that I remember I just remember him grabbing my arm."

Finnick nods.

"Good. Why were you talking to him?"

"What happened to me?" I ask again avoiding the question. Finnick looks at me strangely, but moves on.

"After that I took his arm off of you and you said everything was very bright. You were blinking a lot and closed your eyes then you started running when I said your name to try and help you."

"You were the beast." I whisper.

"What?"

"You're voice sounded so evil... almost demotic."

Finnick puts his hand on my cheek.

"It wasn't real Annie."

"I know but it was so scary." I whisper.

He hugs me.

"It's okay Annie." He says and strokes my hair and I wince. My hand goes to my head and l can a feel a bump.

"That's probably from when you fell down and hit your head. It's okay you don't have a serious injury."

I nod. I don't know why he would know that, but I'm not going to ask.

"What happened after I ran away?"

"You sat down and rocked back and forth and started crying. When that was happening it started to rain. When it got on you screamed and said it was blood. You then got up and started to run out of Victors Village, you tripped over your feet and fell into the pound. Then you screamed it's blood and got out quickly and tripped on a rock. And can I just point out that, that is the second time you have fallen in that pond." He smiles.

But I don't smile back

"Too soon?"

"Little bit."

"Sorry." He smiles and gets off the bed.

"Hopefully this can make up for it." He smiles and pulls out some tupperware and opens it.

"Marci wanted to give you cupcakes to make you feel better." He says.

I smile and notice all of them have purple frosting.

"All purple." I say.

"It is your favorite color it isn't light but she said it should be good enough." He smiles.

"Anything would have been good enough."

"They taste really good too."

"Um isn't that conceded because you made them?"

"I was just the supervisor Marci did most of the work."

"Really?" I laugh slightly.

"Yes, why?"

"Because she didn't seem to know they had to cool first."

"I said _most_ of the work." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"I should be going Annie. I have to see Marci."

I nod.

"Tell her thanks for the cupcakes." I say and kiss him.

"Of course, I'll probably come by tomorrow." He says

"I hope so." He smiles and leaves

A few minutes later my mother comes back with my water and I gulp it down.

"You feel better Annie?"

"A little." I say. She nods.

"Cupcakes?" She says.

"His sister made them and wanted to give me some to make me feel better."

"That was nice and they are all purple. I'm assuming his isn't a coincidence?" She smiles

"No." I say.

I pick one up and take a bite Finnick was right it does taste good.

"If you can eat a cupcake Annie Cresta you can eat something more substancel." She says. She gives dinner and I eat it slowly. I then go to sleep and have a dreamless sleep. I'm hoping I never leave reality again, but I know that will not happen. My mind might wonder for the rest of my life.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49.**

Finnick is spending the day with Marci and Jason. They are going fishing or something. Finnick asked if I wanted to go, but I said no. Mostly because of the water but for something else as well.

After talking with Jason I figured I wanted to hear more so, I decided I would go and see Pearl -Finnick's Grandmother- apparently she tells Finnick she wants to see me all the time. Anyone can visit her she approves it and I'm sure she will let me. I want to ask her more about Michael and his involvement in the years with her grandchildren. I also what to ask her if I should tell Finnick what he doesn't remember.

I also just want to talk to her. She is very animated and was nice when I first met her.

I walk down to the nursing home where she is at and head to the front desk.

"Can we help you miss?" A nurse asks.

"I came to visit Pearl Hammond."

"You're not a family member are you?" The woman asks.

"Well no."

"That's what I thought Finnick and Jason come by everyday and their sweet thing of a sister comes by with one of them usually twice a week. That is all the visitors she usually has."

"Oh well I was told that if you asked her-

"Yes if she says yes, you can go and see her. Who should I say is asking sweetie?"

"Annie Cresta." I say.

She nods.

"Hold on just a second."

She leaves and I rock back on my heels.

I hear the door open and it is the nurse and Pearl. Pearl looks just as I remember her. Same shoulder length dress that is blonde but has more gray in it those and green eyes that I think everyone on Finnick's moms side has

"Oh Miss Annie it is you." She smiles. "I thought they were lying so I had to see it with my own eyes." She looks at the nurse who is holding onto her arm.

"Please I can walk over to there by myself, Kara let go of me."

I smile. She reminds me of Finnick in a way.

"You're alright if she visits with you Mrs. Hammond?" The nurse asks smiling. I get the feeling most of the people in here aren't like Pearl.

"Of course I am, this is the love of my grandsons life." She smiles "The hard part is going to get you to leave." She smiles.

"Alright." Pearl takes my hand

"Woah woah not so fast Mrs. Hammond, Annie needs to sign in first."

"Oh right that."

Pearl rolls her eyes.

I sign my name in.

"There's not a time limit is there?" I ask.

"Not for Mrs. Hammond." The nurse says.

"I know all the right people Annie." Pearl smiles.

"Now let me show you where I live." She smiles and takes me back to her room which is nothing to shout about it is just a small bedroom.

"It's not anything to shout at they like us to keep active and leave the room." She rolls her eyes again. I can tell she doesn't like this.

I nod.

"I'm the youngest broad in here." She says proudly. "But we know who to thank for that. The food is also terrible here Annie so I'm not going to offer you anything. I hope that is alright."

"That's fine."

"Good that's why when Finnick or Jason or Marci come by they give me good food. Marci and Jason came by the other day and gave me cupcakes."

"I got some too Marci made them."

"That's what she told me, but I didn't think it was true."

"Well Finnick said he supervised but I think it was more than that."

"That is what I figured." She smiles "And what is the pleasure of this visit? I have been trying to get Finnick to bring you here so I could see you're darling face again, but he always says you are busy."

"He's never asked me about this."

"That is what I thought maybe he thinks I will be embarrassing him." She smiles. "But that is what grandparents are for Annie." She says.

"I guess that is true."

"I've been told that Finnick finally got the courage to tell you he was in love with you since our last encounter."

"Well technically I said it first."

"Well that's not how he painted the picture. I'm starting to see why he didn't want you to come here because he lies." She smiles.

"Maybe." I smile.

She gets close to me and looks at me.

"You're so beautiful Annie, inside and out."

I blush.

"Thank you."

"Finnick should be so lucky to have an angel like you by his side."

"I think I'm the one who should be lucky to have him on my side."

"You're both lucky except the circumstances of you meeting, but that part doesn't matter." She smiles.

"That's true."

"I assume this isn't just a social visit, you have an agenda?"

"Well…"

"What is it?"

"It has to do with Michael."

"Oh him." She says disgusted.

"I'm sorry you don't have to talk about-

"I will answer your question I like telling people how awful he is sometimes. I always win the worst son contest in here." She smiles but I can tell she is disappointed in him.

"Jason told me some things about the past and Finnick…

"You referring to that knife incident?"

"Yes and the name calling."

"Oh well he still does that, but Finnick understands what it means now when he calls him a bastard. Felicity was so angry when Finnick asked her what that word meant. She didn't even have to ask where he heard it from, but she did anyways. His reply was 'Uncle Michael always calls me that what does it mean Mommy?' She was so disgusted with Michael. She always was, even as children. Thhat part in the brain that is supposed to tell you what is right and wrong is turned off in Michael's. Felicity always felt so angry at him for the way he treated Finnick, but she also felt guilty."

"Why would she feel guiltily?"

"Because Finnick didn't do anything wrong. He is an innocent child. She always wanted him to hurt her not Finnick I think that made it worse though because Michael knew she didn't like it. That should've been rather obvious going around calling your child a mistake or a bastard would of course make you angry but when he started hit Finnick things were different."

"Jason made it seem like that was the only time-

"Jason was too young to remember it happening before or he wasn't in the room."

"Why did his parents just let him."

"Oh they never let him do it. He waited for the right opportunities. They had to leave the room sometimes. That's when he did it, but that was only when it first started happening after it happened more than once they never let Finnick be alone while Michael was in the house.

"The thing I never understood was that we knew what he was doing when we heard Finnick screaming upstairs."

"Did he ever hit Jason or Marci?"

"No he treats them like they gold and treats Finnick likes yesterday's trash. After Marci was born he stopped trying to hit Finnick but I think he was just waiting for the right opportunity again, which was when he cut Finnick in the arm. Also killed him.

"He's always treated Marci and Jason better. It's always been that way. I don't think he would ever lay a hand on Jason or Marci. I don't think Michael cares about Jason at all. He would never hurt Marci though I think it is because she is so innocent."

"Michael still hurts Finnick though verbally though."

"Finnick knows he can't stop that however it does bother him." She shakes her head. "Michael has called him a mistake for his whole life. I think because of this he sometimes believes it. Michael knows this too which is why he still does it. I also think Finnick might envy Jason sometimes because they are so close in age. He treats Jason with respect and Michael just does awful things to Finnick. If his parents where still alive Annie." She pauses maybe trying to find the right words." It would not be like this. It isn't supposed to be like this. Felicity protected Finnick for most of his life. After that knife innocent he always tried to see him again but he never got close enough."

"Pearl."

"Yes Annie."

"Do you think… I mean he seemed to suggest that… he wanted to kill Finnick, do you think that is true?"

She pauses and doesn't answer for a while. I'm about to say you don't have to answer but she starts talking.

"Yes. I do. Jason doesn't know everything. There's a reason why Felicity never let Michail touch Finnick up until he was a toddler. There's a reason why he beat on him so much the main goal was to kill him. He wanted to fix the mistake and the only way he thought he could do that was…" She trails off. "I wish one of his parents didn't die. Then Michael wouldn't be able to hurt Finnick as much. I wonder if President Snow really knew what he was doing or if he just got lucky.

"I worry about Finnick so much Annie. He was depressed for probably a year after his parents died for many many reasons. They were dead and he couldn't really see Marci or Jason. Michael would lay into Finnick hard very very hard. I don't think he touched him but the things he said to him were just awful Annie. It was worse because Finnick was in such a fragile state. Which makes me believe he tried to kill himself because he stayed in the hospital for a three day hold. Which is required if someone tries to kill themselves, I think he was on suicide watch.

"I wasn't there so I don't know. He wouldn't tell me why he was in the hospital, I don't think he has told anyone ever. The only reason I know he was there was because one of the nurses told me. I wasn't allowed to leave yet because of these idiotic rules, but when he came to visit me after being in the hospital he seemed far away and not like himself. He was very quite and couldn't seem to focus. It was terrible.

"After being on suicide watch you're not supposed to be alone. He never was though because Mags ,his mentor, stayed with him after he came back from his first Capitol visit. She would take care of him make sure he was alright. She was doing the things I should have been doing. She visited me one day and is such a kind woman. I just wish I could be there for Finnick, especially then." I can tell Pearl's eyes are filling with tears and I don't blame her. Mags can take care of Finnick just fine and I know Pearl is grateful for that but, it must hurt knowing that someone else is doing the job that you were supposed to.

I nod.

"Do you think Finnick should know I mean, do you think I should tell him?"

She shakes her head.

"I don't think so. He will probably remember one day. but I don't want that day to be today. He has enough bad memories from the Hunger Games. I just want to let him think he had a fairly normal childhood, but if you to tell him I won't be able to stop you."

"I'm not going to tell him I just wanted to hear your opinion." I say.

"Good. If I'm honest with you Annie I'm surprised Finnick isn't more cynical or angry, but he's not, he's sweet and strangely optimistic. I think it might have to do with him not remembering the bad things Michael did to him. He thinks he had a nice easy childhood. I think it is really because both of his parents were that way. They raised their children right because not one of them is rotten to the core unlike Michael."

"I don't think that is your fault Pearl."

"I know Annie, I just wish I didn't have to call him my son." She smiles and the clock chimes.

"I think Finnick might be back from that fishing trip. Why don't you go and see him." She smiles.

"Okay."

"It was nice to see you Annie and you can come by any time Annie."

"Alright I will probably see you again then." I say and smile.

"I hope so." She smiles and I walk out the room. I sign out and walk home.

I see Finnick in town and walk towards him and hug him not saying anything.

Finnick's body stiffens and then he wraps his arms around me.

"Is everything alright?" He asks.

"Yes, I just wanted to hug you." I whisper.

"Okay." He says and rubs my back.

I do just want to hug him mostly after hearing about his past. I feel like I'm comforting him, but I don think I should tell him I know. If Finnick wants to tell me how depressed he was after his parents died he will. I'm not going to make him do anything. I love him too much and I think if I would presses him for information it would just hurt him.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too, more than you know."

He looks at me and I think I can see confusion in his eyes, but he doesn't question it. He kisses me and everything stops for a minute.

**A/N: Thank you for reading! I just wanted to say that the updates probably won't be daily anymore. I just got caught up while writing this arch it was just so interesting I felt like I couldn't stop until it was finished lol. This caused me to neglect my other stories though so it might be a few weeks before I update again. I need to show my other stories some love lol. As always thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**-Susan**


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: Oh. Mah. Gawd. Fifty chapters thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you are enjoying it!**

**Chapter 50**

Today is the day Johanna Mason will be here for her Victory Tour. I'm curious to know what she is actually like because she wasn't the weak girl everyone thought she was. At her recaps she seemed hard hitting and to the point. I'm actually nervous about meeting her.

We have to go to the Justice Building soon to get ready. I hear a knock on my door and open it to see Finnick and he is wearing stuff from the Capitol.

"I should put on my Capitol stuff then." I say.

"That's a very nice greeting Annie."

I roll my eyes.

"Yes though you have to wear Capitol attire probably something from your Victory Tour." He says.

After the Victory Tour you get to keep some of your outfits. The ones I got to keep I generally liked but seeing those dresses is also haunting. I'm just glad I didn't keep the one from the Capitol. The dresses I don't get, get put up for auction and that dress went for a lot.

"Where did you get those clothes?" I ask. He was fourteen when he went on his Victory Tour I doubt that is what they are from.

"They are… gifts." He smiles.

"I see." I say.

I take his hand and drag him to my bedroom and place him on the bed.

"I didn't know you were so forward Annie." He smiles

I roll my eyes.

"You're the only other person here so you get to tell me what dress looks best on me."

"Uh Annie I don't really know anything about-

"Finnick, you can tell if something looks bad or not."

"But I don't want to insult you."

"I won't get insulated. I didn't make the dress. Besides, I rather you tell me now than have the whole country see it."

He rolls his eyes

"Okay but don't take too long we are supposed to be there in an hour."

I roll my eyes

"I have four dresses it won't take an hour."

"Okay." He smirks.

I take the four dresses from my closet which are from District Four, Nine, Eleven, and Two.

I think you always get to keep your District outfit.

I start with that one. It is a muted teal color that has thin straps and is a little shorter in the front than the back. It is very flowey, I remember Yule said it was it represent the waves of the beach. I'm not going to wear the silver heels because they are very uncomfortable.

This dress bring out my blue eyes and the necklace Finnick gave me.

I step out and Finnick smiles.

"That one is very nice you don't need to try on the others." He smiles.

"Can you at least try to be interested in this." I say.

"Annie you look beautiful in that dress and I'm sure you will in all the others." He says and I sigh.

"I want to try all of them on. I'm a girl it's what I do."

He sighs and falls back on my bed.

"Wake me when it's over." He teases.

I bounce on the bed next to him.

"Finnick you could at least pretend doesn't Marci ever ask you these things."

He scoffs

"No."

"Well please try and do this there's only three more."

He rolls his eyes.

"You do know I will probably say you look beautiful in all of them right?"

"Well at least I get to hear you call me beautiful." I smile and kiss him and get up.

Next is the dress from Two which is a steal black that has cap sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. It sparkles when the light hits it.

I walk out and Finnick says.

"Not that one."

"Why what's wrong with it?"

"That was the dress from Two." He says.

"So?"

"Exactly you don't remember." He says

"What did I do?"

"Just don't wear that one." He says.

"Okay jeez." I say and go to the bathroom.

I try on the one from Nine this one was a nice green color that had tan heels to represent the wheat and grass. This one is long sleeves though and the Victory Tour was later this year so there's no snow on the ground.

I walk out and we both shake our head.

The last one is from Eleven and I liked this one the best. It has nice sandals and the pink dress with a floral background. It is a strapless sweetheart dress line and it goes to my knees. I did trip and fall down so there are bruises on my knees but I don't really care.

I walk out to show Finnick.

"So?" I ask.

"I can tell you like this one the most." He smiles.

"That's not the point Finnick. Do you think I look nice?"

"You look as beautiful as ever Annie." He smiles and I sit next to him and kiss him.

"So this is the one yes?" He asks and sounds too eager.

I roll my eyes

"Yes."

"Good let's go." He holds out his hand and I take it. We walk down to the Justice Building.

"Hey uh Finnick?" I ask.

"Hey uh Annie." He smiles.

"What are we going to be doing?"

"Meet Johanna, listen to her speech, then the dinner celebration." He says.

"Okay."

"It's not that bad."

"I know but Johanna seems… intense."

"Don't worry I'm sure she isn't that bad." He kisses my forehead and smiles.

We get to the train station and wait for the train to roll in. I start to see people exiting the train; the makeup crew, the stylist, the escort, the mentor, and then Johanna.

Johanna is dressed in a baby blue dress that has crystals on it. She is wearing silver heels and a sliver headband in her hair. She may look all innocent but her face tells a different story. It is full of disgust, annoyance, and boredom.

Johanna and her escort start walking over here.

"These are the victors from Four Johanna Mags, Luna,

"Finnick Odair. I know who you are." She looks at him but, her face isn't filled with disgust it's something else. Her face is holding a smile and her expression has soften.

Does she like Finnick? I think to myself.

"The other one is-

"Yeah yeah the crying girl." She says unamused. I'm not insulted because it is true I cried almost the whole time I was in the arena and it is better than crazy.

Her escort sighs and walks off.

She circles around Finnick like he is pray.

"It's true what they say you are very attractive and more so in person." She says.

"Thank you." He says unamused.

"Someone is arrogant." She smiles.

"What?" He says confused.

"I never said it as a complement Finnick." She says with a smile. "I said it as an observation you just took it as a complement, which means you are arrogant. That does sound like the obvious answer, but the way you replied makes me think you get that attention all the time. That would explain the deadpan voice." She smiles again. "However I also sense annoyance maybe there is something I am not aware of or it could be because you get that response all the time. I get the feeling though there is something people don't know about the great Finnick Odair." She smiles

Finnick's jaw drops.

"Finally one that is worthy of the title of victor." Luna says with a smile and walks off. Then Johanna turns to me.

"You're Annie right, that's your name."

"Yes." I say and she walks around me.

"Fascinating." She smiles.

"What?"

"Well I think everyone in the country can say that after your Hunger Games you have been peculiar to say the least. But the way your body language is, it says that you are very sane. I think you are consumed with guilt which is why you have crying spells all the time." She says

"I-

"Johanna it's almost speech time!" The escort says.

"I can't wait to get to know all of you better." She smiles and walks off.

"What the hell." I say.

"She's annoyingly perceptive isn't she." The mentor from Seven says.

"Well at least she isn't a ruthless killer." Finnick says.

"Or like Cashmere." I mumble.

"She isn't like that Annie. She doesn't like that she killed all those people. That's why she apologized when she killed your female tribute."

"I forgot about that." Finnick says.

"I didn't. Her doing that made me see her as human." I say.

I listen to her speech and it's the same garbage they gave to me. Then we head into the Justice Building for her celebration dinner. Johanna sits next to Finnick even though as the new victor she is supposed to sit at the head of the table. I think she does actually like Finnick because of this I have to sit across from Finnick though.

"So Finnick youngest victor ever. How did you pull that off?" She smiles.

He studies her.

"Should I answer or will you just dissect my response again." He smiles that fake smile he does with woman in the Capitol. I think Johanna is just annoying him like those woman do

"No I was just curious." She laughs and touches his arm playfully.

"Well, you pulled the wool over everyone's eyes which is also impressive. How did you pull that off?" He asks with a smile.

She laughs again it is too over the top and it is pretty obvious. I think she wants Finnick to know this as well, she wants Finnick to know that she is _interested_.

"You know everyone asks that Finnick and I don't usually tell them but, for you well." She looks at him and has a suggestive smile. "I could make an exception."

"Really?" He says in the voice he does with the Capitol woman. I don't know if he is doing this for Johanna's benefit or not but, it is causing me to have a tight feeling in my chest.

"Yes but I can't tell you here, maybe somewhere else that is more... _private_."

I slam my hands on the table and get up and walk away. I start muttering to myself. I lean against one of the pillars and look at the view. It's nice to feel the air on a night like this. The air smells of the sea and you can feel the salt stick to your skin.

"Why did I feel the need to walk away from her." I whisper to myself. "I don't have anything against her." I look back at the table and can see her leaning against Finnick now and playfully pushing him. I can feel my face getting hot and I want nothing more than to go over and tell her to get off of Finnick but, that would seem too possessive. Besides it's not like she knows I'm in love with Finnick. If she was I don't think she would be doing it in front of me or at least not as obvious.

I turn back around and look at the sky until I hear the escort telling Johanna it's time to say her goodbyes.

"Goodbye Annie it was nice to meet you. I will be sure to see more of you at the 72nd Hunger Games." She smiles.

"Same to you." I say trying not to sound angry.

After they have left Finnick comes up to me and his smiling.

"What?" I ask.

"You were jealous." He says.

"Pssh of you and Johanna no that was." He smiles and raises his eyebrows "Alright I was jealous." I mutter.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because I think that she might-

"No Annie I meant why her?" He asks.

"What?"

"You don't seem jealous when I leave to see Capitol girls."

"That's different." I say.

"How so?" He asks confused.

"Because those people are paying for you and Johanna was doing it because she could. I think she actually liked you Finnick and not just because you are good looking."

He rolls his eyes.

"So what?

"I don't know." I say almost embarrassed.

"For what it's worth Johanna is way too intense and analytical for my taste but that doesn't really matter because I already have the best girl at my side."

I smile.

"You think so Finnick."

"No. I know." He smiles and kisses me.

"Let's go home." He says. I nod.

We walk back to Victors Village with our hands intertwined. Finnick stops when we are outside my house.

"I guess this is goodnight." He smiles.

"Goodnight Finnick." I say and we kiss.

Finnick then leans in and whispers in my ear.

"Don't worry Annie you are and will always be the girl for me." He says. I smile and wrap my arms around him.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says and kisses me.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51 **

I hear a knocking on my door and assume it is Finnick, I open the door and find him.

"Hello Miss Cresta how are you today?" He asks in a silly tone.

"Fine why are you being so formal?" I ask.

"Do you know what today is?"

"Tuesday?" I ask confused.

"No kind lady today is the starry night festival." He says.

"Oh right."

"This is my formal invitation." He smiles.

"I see." I say. "I've never gone to that festival-

"I know, do you want to go?" He asks me.

"I don't know Finnick." I say and look at the ground.

"Annie you don't have to, I just know you like the town events."

"I know, but don't you remember what happened at the flower festival."

"Annie that was fine."

At the flower festival this year when the petals started falling I started screaming for some reason and saw myself in the arena. I feel like the whole town was watching me.

"No it wasn't and it was worse because that's my favorite one." I say.

He touches my chin so I will look at him.

"It's okay Annie besides I had a back up plan anyways." He smiles

"What are you going to do?" I ask.

"You'll see. I will come by your house at 6:00 dress to impress Miss. Cresta." He says

"Don't I get more details than that?" I ask.

"That would ruin the surprise Cresta." He leans in and kisses me. "Remember dress to impress." He says as he walks to his house.

I roll my eyes and close the door.

"What are you up to Finnick Odair?" I smile and head upstairs

* * *

It's 5:57 and Finnick is supposed to show up in five minutes. I have been thinking all day what this back up plan might be and nothing comes to mind.

Because he insisted that I should dress to impress I put on my lavender sun dress. It isn't really that special but, I don't wear dresses very often besides I doubt Finnick will take this very seriously. I wonder what he will be wearing.

I hear a knock on the door and head downstairs. I open the door andI see Finnick and he looks nicer than usual. It isn't a suit or anything but it isn't shorts and a t-shirt either.

"You look nice Annie." He smiles.

"Well you said dress to impress."

"Well you did impress me but to be honest you could've wore anything to impress me." He smiles

"I see." I smile. "For what it's worth you look nice too."

"Good I tried. Now let's go."

He grabs my hand and starts dragging me somewhere.

"Okay now close you're eyes." Finnick says. I know where we are, we are near the pond in Victors Village. It is far away from all the houses in Victors Village it is isolated and nice.

"Close them Annie." He says and I do but he places his hand over them just in case.

We take a couple steps and I tumble a little. Then I think of something.

"Finnick if your back up plan was to push me in the pond I will be very mad." I say.

"Don't worry Annie that's not it but, maybe we could do that later." He says.

I roll my eyes even though he can't see.

"Alright watch your step." He says and I take his hand.

He adjusts my body.

"Okay. I think we're ready you can open your eyes now." Ge says and takes his hand off my eyes.

"Oh my god. How did you pull this off in a few hours?" I ask..

"Like I said I was a back up plan. I had some of it worked out already." He smiles.

Finnick has set up a table that is over looking the pond and it has a tablecloth and dinner on it with flowers as a center piece but that isn't what surprised me, it's the decorations. He put twinkle lights strands all over. Some are bigger than the others and they all resemble stars in the sky just like at the festival.

He takes my hand and brings me to the table and pulls out my chair for me.

"Such a gentlemen." I tease.

"I try." He smiles and sits across from me.

"Almost sunset if I didn't know any better I would say you planned this."

"Well I try Miss Cresta."

"It looks like the festival." I say.

"That was the goal Annie." I smile.

"Who you knew were such a romantic." I smile.

"I'm not really." He says.

I motion around.

"Finnick come on this is-

"I did it because I knew it would make you happy. I know you wanted to go to town events but you didn't feel comfortable enough to do so. I figured I could bring it to you." He says and I smile.

"I love you." I say.

"The feeling is mutual." He says.

"Now what is this?" I ask him about the food. Which is covered.

"Fish-

"I would've never guessed." I say with a smiles.

He rolls his eyes.

"You didn't let me finish because it is summer time and because I have made this for you before and I know you like. I made you." He lifts off the top from my plate "Grilled tequila lime fish tacos."

I smile. Finnick did make this for me before and I did really really like them.

"There's also salsa and some chips too."

"Okay how did you find the time to decorate all of this and make me dinner?"

"The dinner isn't that hard to make if you recall, and like I said the back up plan was already in motion." He says.

I smile.

"I still can't believe you did all of this."

"I am full of all kind of surprises."

"I believe you know." He tells me this all the time but, I never had any proof. This is proof enough.

"You know this festival is special this year. because there is actually going to be a meteor shower."

"Really." I say.

He nods.

"It's a pretty cool, don't you think?." He asks.

I smile.

"I guess." I say.

After the dinner Finnick and I move to the "viewing station" Finnick set up which is really just a blanket on the grass. I lean against him and hold his hand and watch the stars with him and for a second all the bad things seem to go away.


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

Today is the reaping for the Seventy-Second Hunger Games. It seems like that years worth of time went by with the blink of an eye. I have to go back to the Capitol and train someone who is probably going to die. I think of Maddy and how innocent she was, I hope the tributes this year aren't like her. I think I would prefer volunteers because they know what they are getting into.

Aries steps out with his gleaming smile and teal hair. This year he is in very casual clothes just some skin tight jeans and a teal t-shirt which gives you a good view of chest his tattoo. I'm surprised he can be in something so casual, the designer must be very popular. I'm sure that outfit costs more than my old house though.

"District Four Happy Hunger Games!" He shouts with excitement. He shows the video that explains why this happens every year then he smiles and heads to the glass bowls with the names.

"Let's start with the ladies." He smiles devilishly

He picks both names a little too eagerly and I think it is because he wants to have volunteers this year. Lucky for him he gets his wish. I wonder if it will make mentoring different for me this year.

I sigh.

"Are you okay?" Finnick asks me.

"Fine." I say. I lace my fingers with his and we walk to the train. We get on the train and sit on one of the sofas. I rest my head against his shoulder and close my eyes.

"Is it going to be different this year because the tributes volunteered?" I ask

"A little, they won't need our help." He rubs my arm and I open my eyes. He is looking at me like he doesn't want to tell me something.

"What?" I ask.

"Annie they probably won't want to talk to you." He says. I don't have to ask why and he knows he doesn't have to tell me why.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Don't listen to what they say Annie it's not true."

"What's two more people." I smile sadly.

"Annie." He says and kisses me.

"Love you." I say.

The tributes get on the train and don't really bother talking to any of us. They get dinner and once we tell them the recaps will be tomorrow they head to their bedroom.

I go to my bedroom and a few minutes later I hear a knock on my door and know it is Finnick.

"Come in." I say.

He does and sits next to me on the bed. I lie down and he wraps his arms around me, that is one thing I like about going to the Capitol I get to fall asleep in Finnick's arms. I'm sure I could in District Four but, I've never really thought about it. I like sleeping in my own house and I like when my Mom can take care of me. I smile at the thought.

I feel Finnick kiss my forehead and I smile, he strokes my hair until I fall into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

The train ride to the Capitol seems to have gone by fast because we are already rolling into a train station. Watching the recaps was somewhat disturbing because the tributes kept arguing on who would get to kill which ones. They both want to take out the people from Two as soon as they are presented with the opportunity. I just felt uncomfortable and pressed my knees to my chest the whole time

"Alright let's go and meet your stylist!" Aries beams and heads to the makeup plaza.

He takes them down the hall where they go to be made up.

"Do I have to go upstairs?" I ask Finnick because I wasn't allowed to be down here last year.

"No, you get to stay for the opening ceremonies. I'm not sure about the interview with Caesar but, I'm sure I will find out soon." He smiles.

"You're leaving aren't you?" I ask.

"Only for a little bit. I will be back for the opening ceremonies." He looks off to the side. "You should get away from all the craziness and go to the lounge area." He says.

He walks me over to the lounge area which is pretty much an open area that has some sofas and lots of Avoxs. I see other victors over here and some Capitol people.

"Just stay here." He kisses my cheek and I look up at him sadly.

"Don't worry Annie you will be fine. I will be back before you know it." He smiles.

I hug him.

"Love you." I whisper into his chest.

"And I love you Annie." He kisses my forehead. "See you soon." He let's go of me and I watch him disappear into the crowd.

After a few minute I feel a tap on my shoulder I turn around but see nothing but, when I turn back around I see Blake standing in front of me smiling.

I roll my eyes.

"Hello Annie." He smiles. "You look nice."

"Thanks." I look him up as down. "What happened to you?" I ask referring to his hair. Last year it was a dirty blonde this is year it is a bleach blonde, it is so bright it almost hurts my eyes. It does bring out his brown eyes and makes his skin tone seem a little darker but he does look ridiculous.

"New year new color, come on Annie." He says like I should know this already

"Why, are you like Caesar?"

"I wouldn't say that, but technically you are correct." He drapes his arm around me. "You see Annie all Capitol woman have a certain… je ne sais quoi ." He smiles and brushes his hand across my cheek and I blush.

"You think you would be used to my touch by now." He says.

I push his chest and he backs off. He is surprisingly strong for his body type.

I can't tell if this is Blake's true personality or he is just doing this for his own amusement. I saw him last year comforting Talia and know that was real.

"You were blonde last year." I say.

"It was darker, I'm on the lighter side of the color wheel now. People like lighter and darker shades. Just like some people like thin, muscular, big, tall, short. It's a personal preference thing. Doing this ensures new people."

"What's your real hair color then?" I ask.

He walks closer to me and runs his fingers in my hair.

"Just like yours." He smiles and steps away. "I don't remember the last time it was that shade though. Next year it will probably be black because I don't do unnatural colors and I don't want to go white like Bleu."

"So you go light all the way to black."

"Correct."

"I'm sure you skipped a few shades then." I mutter he may have won more than ten years ago but he shouldn't be able to start the cycle all over again yet.

He shrugs

"I forgot you are an artist." He smirks.

I roll my eyes

"I could go ginger but Talia and I would look too similar then." He smiles.

"You never go to the same girl twice do you?"

He shakes his head.

"I do but it doesn't hurt to widen your circle of friends." He smirks.

"Aren't you worried being with all these woman?"

He rolls his eyes.

"I like your concern Annie." He smirks "But, I think I can handle myself."

"Whatever." I whisper. He looks around and I think of something.

"You don't have to try so hard to take Capitol women to your bed, you are a victor."

"You're probably right but this makes it more fun and more distracting."

_Distracting?_ I think to myself. Is this his way of coping with the Hunger Games. Acting like a fool and sleeping with all these women to fill the pain and agony the Hunger Games caused.

"You ever think one person is enough."

He shrugs.

"Not really I mean where is the fun in that? Where's the fun in you being with Finnick?"

"I-

"Always wondering if Snow is going to kill one of you doesn't sound like fun to me. These casual things are better because I know Snow won't go after them."He says but, he sounds sad.

"You had someone but he killed her, didn't he?"

"Not really." He says.

"But not no." I say.

He looks at me strangely.

"Don't analyze everything like the newest victor does."

"You talked to Johanna then."

"On the Victory Tour not here… yet."

I nod and look around.

"Annie." He taps my shoulder and I jump.

"You okay?" He asks me in his serious tone.

"Yes why?" I asks confused.

"You were staring off into space for a few minutes and were clenching your jaw as if to keep yourself from screaming."

"I'm fine."

"Okay because-

"Blake darling don't keep me waiting!"

"Just a second." He says.

"I could get rid of her and stay with you until Finnick comes back." He says seriously.

"That's okay." I say and once again I am confused by his personality

I smile and the girl comes closer to us.

"You confuse me Blake Shelard." I say and start to walk off. "Have fun with her." I say and head back to the Four station. I would rather be with Mags and Luna then alone even if it is will crazy people all around me.

"You confuse me as well Annie Cresta." He shouts and I turn around and see a woman with shoulder length fire like hair that has very choppy layers go over and hug him. He picks her up and places her in front of him and kisses her.

"Bleck." I say and run into someone.

I turn around and see Talia.

"That idiot." She whispers.

"Sorry Talia." I say.

She looks to me and smiles

"Don't worry about it."

She is different from last year I guess she hasn't had a nervous breakdown. I look at her hands and I don't even see bloody cuticles.

She doesn't seem to care that Blake is making out intensely with that girl and he is getting very handsy.

"Why doesn't he just take her upstairs." I mutter to myself.

"Annie we aren't allowed to leave floor." Talia says.

"I did last year."

"You were making a scene." She says sadly.

"Oh." I say.

"Oh Annie that reminds me, I know Finnick leaves a lot for certain _things_ and I wanted to tell you that you can come to my room when he is gone."

"Oh... I don't know if I'm allowed."

"You are, you just can't go downstairs." She smiles.

"Well, don't you have to go to the meetings and find sponsors?"

"I go to the meetings because they are _required_. I don't do anything with the sponsors though… mostly because Blake take cares of that by all of his friends." She smiles.

"Oh."

"We probably don't get as much money as you, but we do alright."

"I'm sure you do. I don't really know how all of that works."

She nods.

"So you'll come see me?" She asks with a smile. It's hard to say no to her she is so nice and seems very innocent.

"Probably." I say.

A woman who has green hair, eyes, and nails comes over. She is wearing silver makeup and has silver streaks in her hair.

"Talia the tributes are all done!" She exclaims. This must be District Nine's escort.

"Thank you Evergreen, I'll be sure to get Blake over here so we can look at them." She says

Evergreen walks off.

"They're done already?" I ask confused. The triubtes from Four are done after a few hours. We have only been here twenty minutes and the ones from Nine are done.

"The stylist gave up a few years ago and doesn't really care, which I don't understand. If you want to move up you have to put your best work out there." She smiles.

"I guess you are right." I say.

She picks up something next to her and throws it. It hits Blake on the back and he stops kissing the girl and looks this way.

"Tributes are ready put that on pause!" She shouts. He kisses the girl one more time and heads over here.

"I'm surprised you didn't miss, were you good at knife throwing?" I ask.

"No, I've been hitting Blake with objects for years." She smiles. "I would probably be decent with knives if I ever had to go back in _there_ but that won't happen."

I no and see Blake walking over here.

"How are the tributes looking?" Blake asks

"Haven't seen them yet but, Evergreen said they were done so, we should probably look at them." She mocks in a Capitol accent.

"Okay." He says

"Hello Annie." Blake says again. I think he wants to mess with me but Talia is looking at him as if to say no.

"Hello again." I smile.

He turns to Talia.

"Do you care if I don't come back after the ceremonies?"

"Where are you going to be?" She asks.

"I was thinking with Esmeralda." He says. I'm surprised he is talking with her about this.

"What about that idiot over there?" I ask.

"Oh she is kind of a set up for later." He smirks and I roll my eyes.

"That's fine, have fun I mean you only get to see her once a year. Sometimes not even that because I enable you."

"Talia you don't-

"Relax Blake I was kidding besides you know if I really need you I will call or ransack District Eights suite it is only one floor below us. After all that has worked before." She smiles.

"Okay. I'll be right there if you need me." He says."Annie." He smiles at me. "As always it's a pleasure."

He goes off and heads to the victors from District 8.

"Does that bother you?" I ask her.

"What?" She says confused.

"Blake going off with all those people."

"Not really. He can do whatever I just don't like when he brings them back to the suite." She says

"Oh." I say confused because that would bother me.

I see Finnick walking over here.

"Talia." He says.

"Hey." She says.

"That was fast." I say.

"Like I said it was just a quick thing but, after the ceremonies I have to see a client." He says and I nod and lace my fingers with his

"See you later Talia." I say and she nods.

Finnick and I head back to the Four station. In a few hours the tributes are ready and Yule has them dressed like sailors. I was dressed as a sailor too but, it is a different type of outfit. I wonder what took him so long, they don't look like they are wearing a lot of makeup and the hair doesn't seem complex.

We take them to the chariots and they get shown to the crowd and you can hear the screams and claps of the people out there. They soon come back after Snow makes the opening remarks and then everyone is headed towards the elevator. Finnick and I linger back probably because he wants to say goodbye to me.

"You have to leave." I say and it isn't a question.

He nods.

"Don't let the tributes get to you Annie. If you are afraid they will just go back to your room and order food in there."

I smile.

"I think I can handle myself without you for a few hours." I say.

"You're probably right." He says and kisses me and I hold onto him tightly for a few minutes.

"Love you." I whisper into his chest.

He let's go of me.

"Love you too and I will be back soon." He says and kisses me softly.

I sigh and watch him walk away.

I head to the elevator but before I get there I get tugged by the arm and am pinned down to the wall. It takes me awhile to see who has taken me. I realize it is the client Finnick got put on the list. It's Cynthia.


	53. Chapter 53

**Trigger warning this chapter contains themes of sexual abuse.**

**Chapter 53**

"Hello Annie." Cynthia smiles.

"What do you want?" I ask her afraid.

"Good you remember me." She smiles. "Well for starters I want to get Finnick back for putting me on this list." She rolls her eyes. "I can't get my drugs or my victors."

"What does that have to do with me?" I ask although I have a feeling I know the answer already.

"Finnick loves you more than anything or so I'm told. If I hurt you, I hurt him besides, I have always _wanted_ you Annie." She leans close and whispers "You're going to be a good little girl and come with me."

"I- I

"We can do this the easy way Annie."

She grasps my neck and kisses me not gentle at all. It feels strange because just a few seconds ago Finnick's soft lips were against mine and they were soft and delicate but hers are tough and invasive.

She stops kissing me.

"Or the hard way."

"Please don't hurt me." I whimper.

"I'm not going to hurt you persay." She smiles. "Now let's go. I'm on floor fifteen." She says and grabs me forcefully before I can object.

She heads to the elevator and presses the button, we don't get taken to a suite we're in a hallway that has many rooms. It looks like a hotel. She uses a key card to open the door to her room. The room isn't anything special it is a standard apartment except it has the Capitol flare.

She pushes me on the couch and sits next to me. She leans in and kisses me and it is just like I remembered, fast and hard. It hurts the back of my throat by how much she is forcing her tongue down it. She stops kissing me and smiles.

"Just as good as I remember it. You taste so _sweet_. It would be better if you reciprocated but that's okay."

I don't know what to say probably because I'm too afraid and wondering what she is going to do next. I feel like it will be something sexual.

"Do you want to see what Finnick did to me?" She asks playfully.

"I… what do you mean?"

"You get branded when you get put on that list Annie." She smiles and starts to take her shirt off and I look at the floor.

She picks up my chin and then slaps me.

"You're going to look at me Annie Cresta when I show you how Finnick Odair scarred me." She says in a threatening tone. I don't look up though because I don't want to see her.

She grabs my arm and I look up, she still has a bra on but I see the scar she was talking about. It's starts on her lower pelvis and goes across her hip and the rest disappears into her pants.

She grabs my hand and has me run my fingers over it. It feels rough and raised.

"Your dear Finnick caused this and that's not all." She pushes her hand off of me and starts to unbutton her pants.

I look away again.

"I like your innocence Annie, truly I do, but right now we aren't playing that game. I want you to see me." She smiles

"Game?" I say and look at her confused and can see her in her underwear. The rest of the scar leads to her private area and all the way down to her right foot.

"Because I sexually abused you'." She rolls her eyes. "But it doesn't matter now. What do you think of it Annie?"

"Well if you didn't break the rules maybe-

"Shhh." She says and presses her pointer finger on my lips. "Don't turn this around on me Annie, you could've come with me and none of this would've mattered, but that didn't happen." She smirks. "Tell me Annie do you like these scars?"

I swallow hard.

"Not really."

"Oh that's too bad." She smiles.

"Why is that?"

"Because I want you to have matching ones like me." She says gleefully. "So Finnick can always be reminded of what he did to me."

"No please don't." I say.

"Don't worry Annie. I will make sure you feel good first." She smiles. "I want to know something before we start."

"What would that be?" I ask barely getting the sentence out.

"You seem so innocent but you're with Finnick."

"What do you-

"I'm just curious if you have ever had fun time with him. After all you don't need to buy him because you _love_ each other." She says in a mocking tone.

"Why do you care?" I whisper

"Well just curious, we could talk about him. It doesn't sound like you've had fun time before but, believe me Annie almost everyone in the Capitol can share their stories between the sheets with the great Finnick Odair." She smiles.

"Well-

"You do know it wasn't always the _great_ Finnick Odiar."

I don't say anything mostly because I'm afraid.

"Yes. The nickname got coined after he started being with _many_ Capitol woman." She smiles "You picking up what I'm putting down." She moves hair off of my shoulder and sits next to me again.

"What are you going to do to me?" I whisper.

"What I would've done if I bought you."

"No I don't-

"I'm not asking Annie I'm telling." She smiles and strokes my hair.

She then grabs my arm forcefully and drags me to a chair.

"I'm in my underwear let's see you in yours."

"No." I say.

She comes around with a pocket knife.

"Do it. After all you want to feel good before you get burned right?"

"No just burn me and get it over with." I say.

"Well, I want you to feel good or at least for you to lose some of your innocence." She smirks. "Now take your clothes off." She says and kisses me forcefully again. She pushes me so I'm on the floor.

"Get up and make it good Annie." She smiles.

"No." I whimper.

"You are so pretty." She says but then I feel white hot pain on my face. I come to the realization that she hit me.

"I wouldn't want to scar you're perfect face, just do it Annie." She says with a devilish smile.

"No." I say shaking my head and I can feel my eyes stinging with tears.

She sighs

"I didn't want it to come to this." She says and pulls out the pocket knife. I expect pain but all I feel is my clothes falling to the floor.

I try and cover myself. I don't want her to see me in my underwear no has before. I feel violated.

"Don't worry Annie I'm not going to hurt you… _yet_." She smiles.

"What do you mean yet?" I whisper.

She isn't listening she is circling around me like pray.

"You are very pretty one of the better victors." She places her hands on my shoulders and runs them down my arms to my stomach. "You have such smooth skin. You remind me of that red head. She had soft creamy skin too. Although she didn't like to play." She whispers in my ear. I have a feeling she is talking about Talia. Looks like she is part of the deal too.

She runs her fingers from my stomach back up to my chin. I can feel my chin trembling.

"You're skin is so soft and warm. There's not a scratch on it. She moves the knife to neck. "Not even from when that girl almost strangled you to death." She smiles.

She puts the knife on my cheek to make sure I will look at her.

She gets close and brushes my hair off my shoulder and I flinch away.

"Stop fighting it Annie."

"I-

I feel pain and see blood dripping down. She cut me somewhere.

"Why are you doing this?" I say with a tear rolling down my cheek.

"Like I said to hurt Finnick but, I have always wanted you." She says and kisses me. She puts her hands on me and scratches my torso, neck, and chest. I can feel blood starting to drip down me.

"Much better." She smiles and kisses my neck where there was a large gash and it feels like she is sucking out my blood. She pushes me back down on the chair and sits on my lap and forces her tongue down my throat.

"I love the taste of your lips" she says and bites my bottom lip and smiles at me.

"Please stop." I say.

"You're right we should. Why don't I take you to the other room. I have all kinds of _fun_ things in there." She smiles.

"What kind of fun things?" I ask afraid.

"Some toys and various things. It might hurt at first but I promise to make you feel good." She smiles and stars dragging me to a room. I don't want to know what she has in there. I know she is going to sexually assault me but she made it sound like she was going to hurt me first. She bought Finnick and Talia, I wonder if this is what she did to them.

She gets up and starts to drag me from the chair but I fight her. She doesn't care she slaps my face hard at least three times and I can feel it burning. I want to touch it but she is holding my hands tightly.

"Stop fighting me Annie I don't want to punish you any more than I already planned." She smiles devilishly. She then pushes me to the ground. I fall to the ground hard and can feel my forehead bleeding like a faucet. "Let's go Annie." She grabs my ankle and starts dragging me to her _fun_ room.

"No stop." I say.

She stops and gets on top of me.

"Look what you did Annie." She says and strokes my hair.

She says and wraps her hands around my neck and kisses me. It is getting hard to breathe. She let's go and I gasp for air. I see spots it takes me a minute to realize her hands have started to wonder.

"No stop." I cry out but she doesn't do anything.

"Don't worry Annie the fun has just begun." She drags me up and doesn't put her arms around me but I'm too afraid to run.

"Good you're learning." She says

I start crying.

"Don't cry we haven't done anything worthy of your tears." She says and digs her nails into my thighs and I can see the blood.

"Now let's go." She smiles.

"No please stop."

"Shhhh." She says and presses her fingers to my lips again. "You want to stay here? Well as you wish Annie."

She starts kissing me and pushes me down. She laps the blood on the way down. She digs her nails into my inner thighs and then licks it. She spends a decent time on my inner thighs and she makes the scratches bleed by pressing harder.

"Please stop." I whimper although I know it is useless.

"Okay you really really want to see my _fun_ room don't you." She smiles.

I don't say anything all I can feel is the tears streaming down my face.

She grabs my arm and drags me to her 'fun' room and opens the door and I see all kind of strange things in here. I wouldn't call it a fun room I would call it a torture chamber. I don't want to know what some of those things do.

She pushes me to the ground and closes the door and locks it. She smiles.

"I always wished I could take you in here and now that I have you I don't know where to start." She smiles and says in a playful voice.

"Ooo I know why don't I get you warmed up first."

She pushes me on a table and starts to kiss me and trails her way down my stomach.

"Stop! Stop!" I yell out.

She hits me.

"Please don't make me restrain you Annie. You're so beautiful I don't want to do that's." She smooths my hair." I start crying.

"Shhh it's alright Annie. I will make it feel nice. After all this is over some of your innocence will be lost."

"No!" I shout.

She goes back to kissing me and spends a minute on my belly button and goes back to my thighs.

I wiggle around trying to get her to stop.

"I love it when you struggle." She says and I can feel her hands on my underwear. She tarts to slide them off when we a hear a bang.

"Dammit why did he have to be on time today." She mutters. She gets off me and smiles. "I have some business take care of. So to ensure you don't go anywhere we'll use these." She says and pulls out handcuffs, she grabs my right hand and cuffs me to the table.

She kisses me forcefully.

"Be right back my pet, make a sound and you will be making it worse." She smiles.

She leaves the door open probably seeing if I will cry out for help.

"I have what you need let's just get this over with Cynthia so I can leave." I hear someone say. The voice sounds familiar it is another victor. It's just one I haven't talked too much.

I look down at my body and start crying hard. I see all the cuts and know I will be bruised tomorrow.

"You don't sound very happy to see me? Cashmere annoying you today."

Cashmere? It take me awhile to comprehend who this must be. Gloss. That's why I didn't recognize the voice he barely talks. I wonder what he is doing here. I don't really care. I think Gloss will be the only person able to get me out of this mess. He never talks but, I don't think he will let me get taken advantage of. Even if he is from District One.

"No."

"Tributes good this year?"

"They're good every year." He says. His voice has no emotion it never does.

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing."

"You can leave if you want. I was actually in the middle of something." She smiles.

"Fine by me. I'll just come back later to give you the information you were seeking." He says

"Fine." She smiles.

I can hear him heading to the door and can feel the sense of freedom slipping away.

I whimper loudly.

"What was that?" He says

"Nothing I just have someone in my fun room."

"I recognized that sound though who's in there."

"No one you would know."

"I know that whimper."

_How can you know a whimper._ I think to myself. I have cried a lot in front of him and the other victors maybe that is why.

"Who do you think it is?"

"I don't know, but you not telling me is giving me a bad feeling."

"Well I can assure you it's nothing."

"Show me." He says.

"Fine. See nothing." I notice she has me handcuffed me so know one will be able to see me.

"Whatever." He says unamused and walks to the door.

Gloss doesn't leave though.

"Something wrong." She asks she sounds annoyed.

"Nothing."

I'm about to say something and she knows this so she hits my stomach hard with something and I yelp in pain.

I can feel his foot steps coming over here.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"Having some fun." She smiles.

"I know you're into that weird stuff but I know someone is in here and it sounds like you're hurting them."

"That's what we call foreplay." She smiles.

He looks at her.

"Alright don't have a cow." She says.

"Here." She says and shows me me to him.

"Holy shit what are you doing to her?" He asks and his voice is still in monotone.

"Having fun like I said."

"But that's Annie." He says and looks at me confused. Then he looks to Cynthia.

"So." She shrugs

"You can't buy her Cynthia or anyone for that matter. I don't care what you do to other people, but you can't do this to her she is Finnick's untouchable."

_Untouchable_ I think to myself. He makes it sound like Finnick owns me.

"Well that's true even Finnick hasn't been able to touch this perfect angel." She says and walks over to me and strokes my hair. She kisses my cheek causing me to flinch away.

Gloss looks at me and back at her. I can't read his face because his face never holds an expression. I am getting a bad feeling that he is going to leave me here and let her do whatever she wants to me.

She starts to run her hand down my torso and he walks over to her and grabs her hand.

"What does it matter what Finnick has or hasn't done? All that matters is _you_ can't touch her. What you have done to her could be punishable by death."

"Please." She rolls her eyes. "I won't die because Finnick gets to call the shots and we both know he won't let anyone die by his hands." She smiles and her hand keeps moving downwards. He must not be holding on the tightly.

I can feel her on my underwear again. I can also feel Gloss' grip tighten around her wrist.

"Stop." He says.

"Why do you care?" She asks.

He looks at me. I must say I am curious as well.

"Because it isn't right."

"Who cares."

"I do." He says and pushes her away from me. He tries to pull me up but I fall down because he didn't see the handcuffs.

"Give me the key." He says still in monotone. How does he do that.

"Nah." She smirks.

"Give it to me." He says and let's go of me.

"Find don't be so dramatic." She says "Here." She throws them and he catches them and unlocks my arm. He reaches for my hand but I flinch away.

"It's alright Annie. She won't hurt you now and I'm not going to hurt you." He says in his dead pan voice but I can tell he means it. He holds out his hand and I reach for it slowly.

He is strong but his hands are soft and gentle I would've assumed them to rough. We are almost out the door when he looks me up and down. I think his eyes hold pity.

"Gloss you're going to take her away." Cynthia says intrigued

"I'm not leaving her here with you, if I did I'm sure Finnick would let Snow kill you."

"I just find it interesting is all."

He sighs

"Why?"

"You taking her out of here like that people are going to think you did something."

"I'd rather have that then have her stay with you doing god knows what to her. And I couldn't live with myself knowing I could stop it." He says.

"But if Finnick hears about it-

"My former comment still stands. Besides I'm sure Annie wouldn't let him do anything stupid."

She smiles and then Gloss leaves takes me from her fun room and we head to the elevator. I hold his hand like a lost child.

He let's go of my hand while we are waiting.

"Finnick isn't there is he?" He asks referring to him being in the suite.

"No." I whisper.

"That's what I though most of the victors aren't." He pauses "You can come back with me." I can't tell what he is thinking because his voice has no emotion. Even when he was talking with Cynthia he didn't have an emotion. He helped me so he must have felt something.

"But-

"Unless you want to be alone."

"Not really." I say looking at the floor.

The elevator door opens and we get on. He doesn't say anything else like usual. A thought then occurs to me.

"Actually I don't want to go back with you."

"I'm not going to hurt you Annie if that is what you're-

"No it's her."

"You mean my sister." He answers quickly he must know I'm afraid of her or at the very least don't like her.

"Yes." I say and look at the floor.

"Don't worry she's not there." He says in a strange tone maybe it is because he is usually monotone. I think it is annoyance. Something tells me it isn't directed at me.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive my sister and the other victors are looking for sponsors which really means they are partying with them."

"Oh." I pause "And why aren't you?"

"Didn't feel like it. I'm not going to make you do anything Annie."

I look at him strangely he is nothing like his sister. He sees me looking at him but doesn't seem to care.

The elevator dings and we walk out. The floor is slightly smaller than ours but other than that it's pretty similar.

He takes me to the kitchen and has me sit on one of the stools. He touches my chin so I will look at him. His face is almost touching mine. His eyes are focused on my head wound. His brown eyes hold concentration and I think worry. He is so close I can smell him. He smells like cinnamon I think is the best way to describe it. It is a dry but sweet smell and a tad musky. I wonder if he uses something to make him smell sweet. One of the jobs in District One is a perfumer.

He may never show emotion but he has visible smile lines on his face. I wonder what he does in District One. It's strange to think victors have other lives than here in the Capitol.

I never noticed how strong he was but it is easier when he is up close like this, to see his build and his muscles. Although he is strong his fingers are gentle as he looks at my wounds.

He touches the back head and I wince. His finger tips hold blood.

"You fall and hit your head?" He asks.

"She pushed me down a few times and I tried to run away but she-

"You can stop explaining." He says. I think he knows talking about it is upsetting me.

"Why didn't I feel it?"

He shrugs.

"Probably the adrenaline like how you don't notice most of your wounds in the arena."

"I wasn't really bleeding." I mutter.

"You broke your leg if recall and you need that to swim which you did for hours." He says still looking at my head.

"It's not as bad as it feels." His hand also moves to the gash on my forehead. He touches it gently and I wince again.

"I don't think you have a concussion but it doesn't hurt to check we should-

"No." I say.

"Head injuries are serious Annie."

"No."

He sighs but doesn't say anything.

He walks to the kitchen and gets at cloth and comes back over and starts to clean the blood off my face. The cloth is warm but has soap so it stings a little.

He doesn't say anything and I feel awkward because he is still inches from my face. I don't think he cares because he doesn't usually talk. It just occurred to me that I am in my underwear in front of him. I try to cover myself and I think he notices.

"I probably should've gotten you clothes first." He says and looks at me. "But you have lots of cuts and I know you didn't see your face but it is covered with blood."

"Oh."

"I would offer you a shower but I don't think you should go into the rooms. Especially when they are shared."

"Shared?"

"There are too many victors. They have a dividing wall but it doesn't really matter." He says.

"Boo hoo you have too many victors and you have to share." I say with disgust.

I think I can see him smile but it's so subtle I can't be sure.

"You wish you could have a higher floor." I say with disgust.

"It all means the same to me but the other ones agree with that statement."

He continues wiping and after a few minutes he stops.

"Hold that there while I get a bandage." He says and heads to the rooms.

I get up and look at myself in the fridge. I have lots of blood dripping down me and I can see her fingerprints from the blood on my stomach.

"You can cry if you want too." His voice startles me.

"I don't feel like crying." I say truthfully maybe it is just because I'm with him. I know once I see Finnick I will probably cry or am alone. I think it is because I don't feel comfortable around him.

He nods and hands me some clothes. They are just the Capitol clothes that are in all the rooms.

"Thank you." I say but don't put them on I want to get rid the rest of the blood. I wish he would let me shower or at least take me to my floor.

He takes the cloth from my hand and puts a bandage there.

He looks at me.

"We should probably get rest of the blood off shouldn't we."

I nod.

"Here." He says and gives the cloth back. I start to wipe my torso. He probably gave it to me because he knows I don't want to be touched.

"She got you good." He says.

I don't answer. I'm starting to get the crying feeling but I don't want to cry in front of him.

"I guess." I say.

_Do not cry._ I think to myself

"You have some on your back do you care-

"Just get rid of it." I say

He does and when most it is gone I put on the clothes.

"You should hold that there." He says referring to my neck wound. "That you might need a doctor to look at."

"I don't-

"You're afraid it will get back to Finnick faster."

"Maybe." I whimper.

"Don't worry he won't hurt her."

"I know." I say annoyed.

He nods and then sits on the sofa. I guess he is done talking.

"What were you doing there?" I ask.

"Cynthia has me tell her things." He says and I walk closer to him.

"What kind of things."

"Classified things." He smiles "but after this little debacle I don't think I will be helping her anymore."

I nod

It's silent for a bit I don't think Gloss finds this awkward because he doesn't usually talk with people.

A thought occurs to me though. I have a feeling this will be the only chance I get to talk to him. I want to know if the rumors are true.

"Is it true what they all say?"

"You're going to have to be more specific Annie." He says

"That you didn't volunteer that it was set up."

He studies me.

"I always wonder how people find out about these things. I know I didn't tell them."

"How could you, you never talk."

He shrugs

"I only do when something is worth saying."

"You never show emotion either. Are you just dead inside? Is that what the Hunger Games did to you?"

He rolls his eyes. "I'm dead inside obviously or I would've let her do terrible things to you." He says sarcastically. I didn't even know he was aware of the concept of sarcasm. "I act differently in the Capitol then back home."

"Why?"

"When you show weakness it gives someone the chance to hurt you."

I look at him strangely.

"That what Cashmere does?"

"Cashmere does lots of things to lots of people." He says unamused.

"Why is she like that?"

"Because she is." I think there is more but he isn't going to tell me.

It's silent.

"Well so you didn't volunteer."

"Correct but you and the other victors already knew that."

He say and looks off unamused and we sit in silence again.

"So it's because Cashmere said no to that deal that's why-

Gloss cuts me off by laughing which catches me off guard why would this be funny.

"You victors always get the reason why wrong."

"So it's not because she said no to Snow's deal."

"Of course not Snow did it because he wanted to. Plain and simple."

"That's it?"

"Why does that surprise you so much Annie?" He asks

"I don't know he usually has a reason for these-

"He does, he did it for Capitol citizens."

"So he did rig it for you to win."

"Of course not. He can't do that."

I want to ask why but I don't think he would tell me.

It's silent again.

"Cashmere only cares about herself if I'm honest with you Annie I doubt she would've cared if I died in that arena." Gloss says abruptly. I wonder if he has ever said this to anyone before.

"That's terrible."

"That's Cashmere." He smiles with disgust. "The Capitol paints us as the perfect brother and sister but really we can't stand each other. We barely know anything about each other. I don't even know her favorite color."

"That's sad."

"Not really."

"Then why do you hang around with everyone from District One and Two?"

"Because that's what's expected of me."

I wonder what he means by that.

It's silent and he looks at me strangely.

"You're not going to start screaming are you?" He asks.

"No." I say angrily.

"Relax Annie I wasn't trying to upset you."

"Yeah right." I mutter.

"I was just concerned because I'm pretty sure Finnick is the only person can fix you."

"Mmh well I didn't know I was broken." I say angrily.

"Don't lie to yourself Annie you're broken."

I open my mouth to object.

"We all are."

I look at him strangely.

His eyes flicker to the clock.

"You should go they'll be back soon. Finnick might be back already from a client." He says.

I think he doesn't want to talk about this anymore. I wonder what he means by expected of me though.

"How did you know-

"When you spend a lot if time on the main floor you figure it out. You wouldn't know because…" He trails off probably not wanting to say you're not allowed.

"You're not like the rest." I say.

Gloss looks at me strangely.

"That's because I don't want to be."

I look at him for a few minutes.

"Thanks. I guess." I say.

He doesn't say anything just nods. I guess that isn't worth responding to. I get up and head to the elevator.

I get off the floor and see Finnick he looks worried.

"Annie what happened to your forehead and neck. Did someo-

He gets cut off by me hugging him tightly. I start to cry but it's silent. I think Finnick can feel the tears dripping on his shirt.

We get to my room and I start sobbing. I think I only kept it together with Gloss because I knew he couldn't help me like Finnick could.

"Annie how did you get those cuts?" He asks.

I don't answer I just hold him.

"Annie what's wrong?"

"I… don't" I hold onto him tighter and sob for what feels like a long time.

"Annie you're starting to scare me, Can you please tell me what's wrong?" He asks gently.

"It was her."

"Who?"

"Cynthia."

"Cynthia?" He says confused.

"She took me away… she threatened me… she…" I start crying.

"It's okay Annie you're safe here." He kisses my forehead and I grip him tighter.

"It's okay but why did she let you go?"

"I… Gloss… took me away before she could..."

"Why was he there?"

"I don't know but I'm glad he was there." I hold him.

"It's okay Annie." He says and rubs my back. "You're going to be okay now."

"I want to shower I can feel her all over me still."

He nods and kisses my forehead.

"I have to make a phone call." Finnick says.

After I wash myself I sit on the shower floor and cry. I must've been in here awhile because I hear someone knock on the door.

"Annie are you alright?" It's Finnick I can barely hear him over the shower.

"Annie it's almost dinner time. You don't have to eat with everyone but you should get something." He says but I don't move I think my muscles are frozen.

"Annie can you say something so I know you're in there."

"I-" Is all I manage to say and I start sobbing again.

I want Finnick to be next to me and holding me in his arms but I can't bring myself to move or talk.

I can hear the door open.

"Annie?" I hear him say. "Here." He gives me a towel through the shower curtain. I wrap it around myself but can't bring myself to get up.

I keep crying.

"Annie" He says again.

This time he opens the shower curtain.

He doesn't say anything he sits next to me and pulls me against his shoulder. I'm surprised he didn't turn off the water. I remember that night on the Victory Tour when I did the same thing. Finnick strokes my hair and rubs my shoulder. He occasionally makes shushing noises. I don't know how long I sit here until I reach to turn the water off.

I look at Finnick and hug him.

"You should get dressed." He whispers and kisses my forehead. I stand up and get out of the shower, Finnick leave to get me some clothes. I grab them and he leaves the room and I get dressed. I don't bother drying off because I don't care. I lie in bed and get under the covers and Finnick gets next to me and stokes my hair.

"You're okay Annie"

"Don't ever leave again." I say.

He doesn't say anything because he knows he can't keep that promise and he isn't going to lie and say otherwise.

He kisses my forehead and wraps his arms around me and I lean into his chest and soon find sleep.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

I wake up and my body feels sore I pull up my shirt and see the cuts. I also see the bruises on my arms from her pinning me down. I was hoping all of that was just a bad dream, but it wasn't it was real. It was very real.

I roll over and notice something. Then I bolt up.

"Finnick?" I say aloud.

Where would he go. He wouldn't want to leave me alone after what happened.

"Maybe he had to leave." I mutter

I look around and don't see a note or anything. I'm starting to get worried. Did something happen to him.

My hand goes to my neck to grasp the locket but it isn't there. I look at the night table. I only take it off when I shower but I was so upset yesterday I don't think I would've bothered.

It isn't on the bedside table or the one on the other side if the bed. I head to the bathroom and don't see it in there either.

"Did she take my locket." I whisper upset. I like that locket, it reminds me of Finnick when he isn't with me and makes me feel better.

I sink on the bathroom floor.

"Who does that to people?" I ask.

Not about the locked but abusing people and getting pleasure from it even when you hear them begging for mercy. I can feel my eyes filling with tears at memory.

I swallow hard.

"Do not cry she doesn't deserve any more of your tears." I say and drag myself back to bed.

I lie down and try not to cry. I hold a pillow to my chest and it is one Finnick was lying on because it smells like him, what I imagine sunlight would smell like.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out and feel relaxed

I hear the door creak open but don't open my eyes. I don't care about the tributes they volunteered so they know what to do and they clearly didn't want my help.

I feel someone sit next to me and my eyes flicker open. I see Finnick and sigh in relief.

"Annie you're awake." He says.

I sit up and hug him before I say anything.

"Where did you go?" I ask him because there is a strange scent on his clothes. It smells like roses.

He sighs.

"I had to do something that had to do with Cynthia."

"Oh?" I say and hold onto him tighter at the sound of her name.

"Yes I was hoping I didn't have to ask you this but Snow insisted."

I let go and look at him terrified.

"What does he want?" I ask and my heartbeat has accelerated.

"Annie shhhh it's okay he's not going to do anything to you. He just wants your input."

"On what?"

"What happens to Cynthia, this is her second offense on you and since it was more than last time he wants you to get a say."

"Is there a list of options or something?"

Finnick shakes his head.

"No, you tell him what you want and he will either grant it or deny it."

"What should I do?" I ask

"Whatever you want."

"I want to make sure she never does this to anyone again."

"Don't say that to Snow." Finnick says

"Why?"

"Because he will kill her you have to be very specific Annie, and I don't think you want anyone to die."

I nod.

"Do I have to do it right now?" I whisper.

"No just before the games start." He says

I nod and he kisses my cheek.

"Do you want anything Annie?"

"For you not to leave."

He smiles.

"Well today you're lucky because I don't have any clients."

"Why?"

"I just don't." He says even though I think he did something, maybe rearranged his schedule so he could be with me.

I nod and lay back down.

"Okay."

He hugs me but too tightly because I wince.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing." I say.

"How bad did she get you Annie?" He asks me worried.

"Not much." I say.

"Annie I know what she does to the people she brings back. I saw your legs in the shower and since you are wearing shorts I can see what she did to your thighs. Did she get you anywhere else? You can tell me."

"She does this to everyone?" I ask.

"Different variations of the same thing." He places hair behind my ear and smiles.

"Why?"

"Because she likes it."

"That's strange." I say.

"Trust me Annie there are stranger things than that." He says

I don't want to ask because I'm sure he knows.

"Is it really bad Annie?" He asks

"I think I should just show you." I mutter.

"Okay." He says.

I sigh and take my shirt off and show him. He is trying to hide his expression but I know him too well.

He comes over and runs his hands over the cuts and bruises.

"Watch those hands Mr. Odair." I tease as he touches the one on my chest.

He smiles

"My apologizes Miss. Cresta." He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. They are filled with guilt.

I hug him. I hadn't considered that Finnick would feel guilty for this.

"It's okay Finnick." I whisper.

He doesn't say anything just rubs my shoulders.

"This isn't your fault." I say again.

"Then why do I feel like it is?" He whispers so softly I barely hear him.

"Because you're a good person."

He puts his hands in my hair and places his head on my shoulder.

"I love you Annie."

"I know." I smile. He looks up and kisses me and holds me for awhile.

"This wouldn't have happened if-

"Finnick she was crazy, she said she wanted me since the start. If it wasn't for you I would be a part of that deal and she would've bought me. I would've had to do it. There would be no one to save me because then someone I love might die." I say and he strokes my hair.

"Are you happy Annie?" He asks me catching me off guard.

"Generally yes. Why?" I ask.

"Sometimes I think-

"Stop Finnick you make me happy and without you I'm a mess." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Do you wish your name never got called?" He asks.

"Of course why, do you not?"

"No I wish my name didn't get called but with you this is going to sound bad but-

"What?"

"If your name never got called I never would've met you. Is it wrong that sometimes I am glad your name got called." He says and I swallow hard.

He is right if my name never got called I never would have met him. I would still think he is an ego inflated ass and not the sweet gentle person I know now.

"Annie?" He asks his voice sounds afraid.

"It's not wrong to think that Finnick . If my name never got called though people wouldn't whisper and say I'm crazy."

"Annie Cresta you are not crazy." He says and kisses me.

"I love you Finnick Odair I'm glad I met you and found out the real you but,

"If you had to chose to get your name called out you would say no."

"Maybe, I don't know and it doesn't really matter because it happened. All I do know is I can't live without you. I'm in love with you now and that is all that matters." I say and smile.

"I love you too Annie." He whispers.

I hold him for a long time and never want to let go.

"I should say something to Gloss shouldn't I?" He asks.

I shrug

"I don't think it matters either way Finnick he's… odd."

"Well I wouldn't know." He says.

"Finnick you've known him for like-

"He never talks Annie and if I talk with him it is always a one word response. I don't even know his eye color."

"They're brown." I say remembering them looking at my head wounds.

Finnick nods.

"It's true what everyone says."

"About what?"

"He didn't volunteer."

"Interesting. I'm not very surprised because Cashmere-

"He hates her Finnick." I say.

"He hates his sister?"

"Or at least the way she acts. He said they aren't close. He isn't like her or the rest of the victors from One and Two. He still has humanity." I say.

He nods

"I still think I should say something."

"Finnick he knows, he's fine."

"I feel like I should thank him this could've been so much worse Annie."

"I know." I whisper.

"Well I feel like I should do something."

"You don't have to do anything he knows." I say again.

"I guess." He says and runs his fingers across my collar bone.

"Finnick?" I ask and he stops touching me and looks at me.

"Yes?"

"Do you remember if I was wearing the locket when I came back."

"I wasn't paying attention to that. Can you not find it?"

I nod.

"Do you think she took it?" He asks

"Maybe." I whisper.

"Don't worry Annie." He kisses my forehead. "I'm just glad you're alright."

"But it made me feel safe."

He shrugs.

"Well I'm here with you right now and it will be okay Annie."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

We hear the elevator ding.

"I thought you said you didn't have clients." I whisper.

"I don't, it's probably Aries." He says.

I put on my shirt and we go out to investigate. It isn't Aries it's Gloss and he is talking to an Avox.

"Oh you're here." He says in the deadpan voice and walks over here.

"You forgot this probably when cleaning the blood off of it." He says.

"That's where it was."

"It seemed important to you so I thought I would deliver it-

He gets cut off from me hugging him.

His body stiffens as if to reject me but I don't let go.

"Thanks." I whisper.

He touches my shoulders probably so I will let go and I do.

"I didn't realize it was that special or else I would've given it to you last night." He says.

"Doesn't matter. Thank you." I say again.

He nods and turns around to head to the elevator. Finnick walks over and says something to him probably thank you or something. Not like it matters I don't think Gloss cares about that. When I said thank you he just nodded he didn't even get a you're welcome.

I put on the locket and feel better.

Finnick walks back over here.

"She didn't take it." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

"I know." I whisper and hug him.

"Finnick." I whisper after a while.

"Yes?"

"Can we do this thing with Snow now." I whisper.

"Are you sure?" He asks me surprised.

"Might as well get it over with now. Then all of this will be behind me."

Finnick smiles and kisses my forehead.

"Okay, Snow said I could come with you at any time."

I nod.

He takes my hand and we go to the lobby and out to a car. Finnick seems to have done this many times. I figure out why quickly it is probably because he does this to be taken to clients.

He talks with the driver and then the car starts to take off.

"Have you thought of what to say to him?" Finnick asks.

"Can he just lock her up forever?"

"Possibly" He says but his tone of voice says no.

"What's wrong with that?"

"They are more fond of the death penalty and not life sentences."

"I don't want to kill her." I whisper.

"Maybe they will turn her into an Avox then."

"I don't want them to cut out her tongue either." I say.

"Annie they don't really have jails here, there is usually some form of punishment and then you have a record."

"I don't want to hurt her." I whisper.

"I know Annie but, no matter how you slice this she is going to get hurt."

"Can you just do the talking?" I whisper.

"Yes and no."

"What does that mean?" I ask confused and annoyed.

"Snow wants to hear from you. You're going to have to say something." He whispers.

"I would rather them let her go then have to see Snow again." I mumble.

He smiles and kisses me.

"It's okay Annie." He says. I grip his hand and lean into his shoulder until we are at the Presidential mansion. Last time I was here was for my Victory Tour. That seems like it was a lifetime ago, even though it was more than a year ago. I shiver at the memories.

Finnck leads the way. I get the feeling he comes here often by the way he is so familiar with everything.

We reach the front door and there is a guard at the door.

The man checks his clipboard.

"I don't have a reason why you are here Finnick. What is your reason for coming?" He asks

"Is Annie Cresta on that list?" He asks.

"Yes for legal obligations." He says.

"Well I'm her plus one." Finnick says.

"Very well. He's in his office I know you don't need an escort." He says and Finnick leads me down a hallway.

"How often do you come here?" I ask.

"I get my client list here so every time I go to the Capitol."

"Oh." I say.

He nods and we reach his office. Finnick knocks and we are greeted with the response of come.

We get into the room and it is just like I remembered from the Victory Tour.

"Of good Mr. Odair you brought Miss. Cresta please have a seat." He says. If I didn't know any better I would say he was being nice. But it isn't a request it is a demand.

We sit and Snow smiles that crooked smile he seems to love.

"It's lovely to see you again Miss. Cresta I do wish it was under better circumstances though." He smiles.

Again if I didn't know better I would think he was being genuine but I know better.

"I-I guess." I stutter.

"Good well I'm sure Finnick filled you in. Do you have a request or did you just want me to take care of it myself.

"I don't want you to hurt her or kill her." I say.

"So you want her to go free with no punishment."

"No, I just- what would you do if I left this up to you?" I ask him and he seems surprised by this.

"Well this is her second offense and she has been illegal obtaining drugs because she can't buy them anymore. I would say I would probably order the death penalty."

"But-

"People have been killed for a lot less Miss Cresta."

He didn't have to tell me that the Hunger Games are a prime example.

"I understand but I don't want to be the reason she is dead."

"She won't be. She broke the law and there are consequences to that."

"Just don't kill her." I say.

"That's your request not to he killed."

I nod. I don't think I can talk my way out of her not getting hurt.

"Yes."

"Very well. Is there anything else you desire Miss. Cresta?"

"What do you mean?"

"A sort of compensation to this unfortunate event."

"No thank you." I say I have a feeling it would come with lots of strings anyways.

"This was very civil." He smiles. "You are now free to leave." He says and I get up but Finnick doesn't.

"Don't kill her." Finnick says again.

"That is what I told Miss. Cresta." He smiles.

Finnick studies him and then gets up to leave. Finnick takes my hand and I lace my fingers with his.

We get back in the car and Finnick looks mad.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"I just get this feeling he is going to kill her anyways."

"He said he wasn't going to-

"But you asked him what he was going to do. I think he did this as more of a formality for you. I'm pretty sure he had arraignments to kill her already."

"I don't think so Finnick."

He looks at me and sighs with disapproval because I know he is right. Prescient Snow isn't the kind of man to take requests. In my head though she just got some kind of torture and wasn't killed. Even though she abused me no one deserves to die for something so small.


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

I'm sleeping and feel a strange tickling on my neck. I assume it is Finnick.

"Finnick stop." I say. He is still doing it though and I feel something on my arm.

"Finnick stop it." I say annoyed this time.

"Finnick." I open my eyes.

"Oh god." I say.

"Nope just me." Cynthia smiles and straddles me. I notice that feeling around my arms was her restraining me.

"No stop!" I shout.

"Shhh. You're a dirty girl Annie Cresta." She smiles.

"How did you get out?"

"What do you mean?"

"Snow he…

"Oh he did Annie." She smiles and kisses me.

"Stop." I say and she does.

"You're a dirty birdie Annie."

"Why?"

"Dreaming of me while in bed with another, is Finnick not giving you what you desire?" She whisper in my ear seductively.

"No. I don't want that." I'm probably one of the few people in the country who would say that but the irony of this is I can have him if I wanted to. I doubt Finnick cares about this stuff and if it was really that important he would bring it up which he probably never will considering he has to be sexually assaulted for a living.

"Yes you do Annie I know what you dream about."

"People trying to kill me, being in the arena, dying."

"Those are nightmares you dream of Finnick." She says and walks her fingers across my collar bone.

"I don't really-

"And you know what that fairy tale says, a dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. You want Finnick all of him."

"Stop." I say this is making me uncomfortable.

She kisses my neck and I squirm away from her.

"I bet you wouldn't struggle so much if it were him." She says and kisses my neck again but her lips feel different less rough and more gentle. She looks up and smiles.

"You see Annie-

She bites her lip and throws the covers off and I'm already in my underwear.

She kisses me on the lips but it isn't hard and rough it's soft and gentle it's familiar.

When she looks back up she looks like Finnick.

"Does this make you want me?" The body belongs to Finnick but the voice belongs to Cynthia making me confused.

"I wanna wake up!" I shout sobbing

"Shhh Annie I'm sure we'll get further this time because you feel more comfortable with me looking like him."

"Noo!" I am sweating and breathing heavily. I'm no longer restrained but I see movement next to me and notice it is Finnick but I hit him across he face.

"Ouch Annie what the hell?" Finnick asks and since it is his voice and not Cynthia's I know this is real.

"I… I…

He turns on the bedside lamp and his face has more understanding.

"It's okay Annie." He says and places his hand on my cheek which I lean into.

"You're okay Annie."

"I guess." I say.

"What's wrong?"

"I had this dream of Cynthia."

"Annie I'm sorry-

"It's not your fault." I say and he runs his fingers through my hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was really weird it was her but then…" I trail off.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing."

"Annie I can tell this is bothering you."

"She sorta used you against me I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"She said it would be easier for her if…

"If what?"

"If I saw someone who would make me feel more comfortable."

"Having sex dreams about me Annie tsk tsk." He smiles.

"That's not what this was Finnick." I say angrily.

"Too soon to joke." He smirks. I sigh and roll over.

"Annie I'm sorry." He says.

"Whatever. This is why I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would make some wise ass remark and make me feel uncomfortable."

"Annie I'm sorry. I'm sure she was doing awful things to you and joking about it isn't funny." He says he sounds sincere and worried.

I roll over and look at him. He has the puppy dog eyes that always make me want to say I'm sorry.

"Put the puppy dog eyes away Finnick."

He smirks and lies next to me.

"I'm sorry. Do you think this is because you saw Snow or just in general?"

"It could be both but I would never know." I say.

He nods and smiles.

"Do you feel okay?" He asks

I nod. He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Hey uh Finnick."

"Yes."

"Do you." I clear my throat. "Do you think about that." I whisper slightly embarrassed.

Finnick rolls his eyes.

"That stuff isn't important to me. I have to deal with it so much anyways. Besides, I don't just give it away and you Miss Cresta have not earned it yet."

"What?" I ask confused.

"I mean I gave you jewelry did nice romantic gestures and what do I get? If you want to get me Annie Cresta I am not cheap." He smirks.

"You gotta be wined and dined." I smile

"I want to feel like you think I'm worth it." He smirks

I sit up on my elbows.

"I know you're kidding and all but-

"Annie I wasn't kidding ,over exaggerating yes but not kidding."

"I want to believe you-

"Annie I hate to be the one to break the picture society has painted for you but sex is not always that great and doesn't really make a relationship stronger. Sometimes it can ruin one. I don't care about this because it isn't very important at least not to me. I have you and you're all I need."

"But Finnick-

"No, no but Finnick." He smiles and runs his fingers through my hair. "Besides the love I have for you is that once in a lifetime love stuff."

"You're getting real sappy up in here." I smirk.

"I'm serious Annie not everyone has a love like I have for you. I can't speak for you but I know how I feel and I know this isn't just a lack luster romance because I have never felt happier when I'm with you."

I smile.

"But Finnick."

"What did I just say about the but Finnicks." He smiles and puts his hand on my cheek and I lean into it.

"I was going to say when we ya know… you would be so much better at it than me."

He rolls his eyes

"It isn't a contest Annie besides you'd be the first person I would want to do that with." He says.

"What?" I say surprised.

"You heard me you Annie Cresta you are the only person that matters."

"Not even the first time?"

"The first time was a with a girl named Becky I don't even know her last name and do want to know why?"

"You don't remember?" I ask.

"No because I only got her first name because she didn't want me to know the last." He says.

"What?"

"Not all the clients give out their full name and I'm pretty sure some of them are fake not like it matters." He says

"Oh." I say and the room got very small.

"Yeah oh." He says

"Well what about Bleu?"

"One night stand didn't really count because I didn't really care. I was more depressed we don't have to get into that."

I nod.

"So I'd be like the first person you care about so like the first."

"Whatever it doesn't really matter but like I said you haven't earned it yet." He smiles and kisses me.

"Well I'm not in any big rush." I say and can feel my cheeks turning red.

He kisses them.

"Don't be so embarrassed Annie it's okay."

I nod.

"But when you think you want to I want to talk to you first."

"Finnick I think I know-

He rolls his eyes.

"I'm sure you do it's because I see all these other people."

"Finnick I don't think that will matter."

"Like I said I want to talk to you about it only when you feel like you want to. I don't think you want to right now."

"Not really." I pause. "You've thought about this a lot haven't you?" I ask.

"Yes because I care about you. I don't want this to break your heart or mess anything up. Besides like I said I don't want to be doing anything yet."

"You really mean that don't you."

"Why would I lie?"

"To make me feel better." I mumble.

"Sorry but this is one of those times where my needs are greater than yours." He smiles

"You really don't just give it away." I smile.

"No ma'am like I said you gotta earn it." He smiles.

I hug him and close my eyes and he rubs my back.

"Do you feel better?" He asks getting back to what started this whole conversation.

"Yes." I whisper.

"Then we should go back to sleep training day number two is tomorrow and I do have to see clients."

I nod.

"Love you."

"No I love you." He whispers and kisses me.

* * *

The tributes left a few hours ago and I am all alone because Luna and mags are looking for sponsors. Apparently when it is a career they get lots of bids so they have lots of people they have to meet with. I don't know how all of it works and I don't care to learn.

I sigh and twiddle my thumbs. Before I know what I'm doing I head to the elevator and press the Nine button.

I walk out on the floor and it is bigger than I expected, much bigger than ours. It has an actual kitchen and the table is twice as big, more seats in the seating area and an outdoor deck. I'm assuming the bedrooms are bigger too.

"Annie Cresta? I think you might have the wrong floor." Blake says confused.

"What did you just get back?" I ask because he looks disheveled I'm assuming because he spent the night with some lucky girl.

"No but I haven't gotten my self all pretty yet." He smirks "What are you doing here?" He doesn't sound annoyed just intrigued.

"Talia said I could come here if I wanted to talk to her? Is she here?" I ask.

"Oh right she did say that." He nods remembering.

"So is she here."

"Yes." He smiles and walks over to something and presses a button.

"Talia!" He shouts. "Taliaaa!" He shouts again.

I see her come from a hallway that I'm assuming is where the bedrooms are. Talia looks better than Blake. She is just wearing lounge wear and her hair is in a ponytail but at least it is brushed.

"Are you really that lazy Blake that you can't walk back to my room." She asks with a smile.

"Yup, Annie's here for you."

She walks over to us and gets closer.

"Hi Annie." She smiles.

"Hi." I smile.

"I have some sponsors that need to be talked with. So after I make myself look more :_resentable_" he rolls his eyes. His escort probably told him that he didn't look it because Aries has said that to me. "I will be leaving."

Talia nods

"Okay." She smiles and he leaves the room.

"I'm sorry Talia maybe I should've called or something." I say.

"I wasn't really doing anything Annie. I was in my room because I was making a phone call back home."

"You can do that?" I ask surprised.

"Why else would they put phones in our rooms?"

"I guess you're right."

"The line is probably bugged but still I have someone I like to check in with." She smiles.

"Boyfriend?" I ask.

She laughs.

"No, daughter."

"You have a daughter?" I ask surprised.

She nods.

"Almost eight,I thought everyone knew minus the knew one" She smiles

I look down at her hand and don't see a wedding ring so I'm not going to ask about the father.

"Do you like her, Johanna I mean."

"I don't really know her but she is very intense. It's something I'm not used to but I'm sure she is a nice person once you get I know her."

"She seems nice like you said just intense." I say.

She looks at me strangely.

"Then why does it sound like you don't like her."

"Because she was all over Finnick at the Victory Tour."

Talia smiles.

"So you're jealous."

"I was not anymore." I mutter.

"Well she did figure it out pretty fast that you and him were in love with one another." She smiles.

"I guess that is nice." I say.

Talia seems different than she was last year. More composed.

"Why are you staring Annie?" She asks.

"You seem less…

"Scattered." She says.

"Yes."

"I'm not always like that Annie it's just sometimes I have breakdowns where I don't see the point in doing anything. It only last a few months and it usually happens a few months before the Hunger Games." She shrugs. "There are worse things."

"Oh why does if happen?"

"No idea but I heard you have panic attacks and those just happen for no reason."

"I guess."

"It's all connected to the Hunger Games though." She smiles but her eyes hold sadness.

"I guess that's right." I mutter.

"I heard something at the required meeting today." She says

"What's that?"

"You ran into one of the worst clients." She says

"Oh right yes." I say.

"I don't like her either." She holds out her forearm and I see a scar.

"Did she do that do you?" I ask.

She nods.

"She really liked that burn torture." She shrugs.

"So you are a part of Snow's deal."

"I was." She says and sounds far away. I'm not going to ask because it sounds like it will bother her but she just told me she had a daughter so something clearly happened there.

She sits down on the couch.

"Talia."

"Yes?"

"Are you by yourself a lot too?"

She nods.

"Blake handles almost everything except when the tributes are here. I just go to the meetings that are required. When they are gone you're supposed to be thinking of ways to save the tributes but there's not really much you can do."

"I guess."

"People think the winner is in District Two this year."

"Both of my tributes were arguing over who gets to kill them."

"They probably know they are the ones to beat they are careers after all."

I nod.

We hear the elevator ding and I can hear a Capitol accent and other people talking.

"Looks like they're back." Talia says.

"They were only gone for an hour though."

"It was longer than that Annie you must not have realized it when you were on your floor. You were here only twenty minutes. If they are back yours have probably been back for some time because if the elevations."

"Oh right. I should go then." I say.

She nods.

"See you later Talia." I say and saunter off to the elevator.

I get back on our floor and Finnick looks worried when I walk in.

I walk over to him and smile.

"Where did you go?" He asks concerned.

"To see Talia she said I could talk to her when no one else was here."

He nods.

"Okay I thought-

"No one dragged me anywhere Finnick." I smile.

"Okay good. Next time leave a note please."

I smile.

"Okay."

I think Finnick is going to think something terrible is happening to me when he doesn't know where I am because of what Cynthia did but I can't blame him besides sometimes it is nice to have someone worry about you.

**A/N: Sorry if this has more errors than usual I uploaded it from my Iphone because I am at my grandmothers and she doesn't have wifi (or know what it is lol). Thank you for reading though!**


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

The tributes get back in a few hours and they don't talk about what they did to show the gamemakers. They talk about what they think the other tributes did. They laugh when they get to around District Nine because they say they probably just stand in the room.

I sigh.

We eat dinner and then Aries asks if there are any questions. They make a snide comments and then stomp to their rooms.

"They're charming aren't they." Aries says and I can't tell if he means it or not. He did want volunteers.

"We should all get some rest we need to help them with for the interview tomorrow." Aries says and leaves.

"Was he angry?" I ask.

"No he meant it." Luna says.

"Why?" I ask confused.

"He thinks they have a strong backbone Annie." Mags says.

"But they are mocking them." He says.

"He is from the Capitol and naive." Mags says.

I nod.

"Well I want to go to sleep." I say and get up.

"I'll be there soon I want to talk with Mags." Finnick says.

"Should I-

"No it's fine Annie." He says.

"Okay." I nod and head back to my room.

I lie on the bed and fall asleep quickly.

* * *

I wake up and still don't see Finnick. I get up and leave the room to make sure he is alright I was probably asleep for a few hours.

I head out to the common room. When I get there I have a strange feeling.

"Finnick?" I ask. I don't get a response.

I sigh and head to the kitchen.

"Might as well get a glass of water." I mumble. I get a glass and press my glass against the freezer to get water.

I take the glass and take a long sip and notice it tastes funny.

For the first time I look down at the glass and start screaming and throw the glass on the wall.

It didn't have water it had blood.

"What the hell!" I shout. I'm still surprised that Finnick still hasn't come to find me.

"Maybe he is in his room." I whisper and head to his room ad start to see a blood trial I get a bad feeling about this and it leads to Finnick's room.

I open the door not bothering to knock.

As soon as I knock on the door I step in a pool of blood.

"Finnick." I whisper.

I slip in the blood and then scream. I stand up and then find Finnick. He has been nailed to the wall and has many stab wounds. I walk closer to see if this is real. Before I get there his head rolls off and falls at my feet just like Dan's did in the arena.

I scream my head off and then bolt awake and start screaming and hyperventilating.

"Annie?" I hear Finnick say.

I keep screaming a bloodcurdling scream. Breathing is become difficult and my temples are throbbing. I feel the terror build up and it is as if I leave my body because I black out.

I start to come back around and Finnick is shaking me frantically. He is s being gentle but he is frightened.

"Annie, Annie. Are you hurt? Annie? Was it just a nightmare? Annie please say something. Annie. Annie?"

"Finnick." I whisper because that is all I can manage. I must have been screaming the whole time.

He hugs me.

"Are you alight?"

"What happened?"

"You tell me." He asks.

"I had this nightmare and I don't remember what I did after I woke up."

"Scared the hell out of me. You were screaming for ten minutes straight. I thought you were hurt because you sounded like you were screaming as if you were dying or something. You weren't responsive or anything. What was in that nightmare that made you so terrified? Was it Cynthia again."

I shake my head and cry.

"No it was you." I sob.

"What did I do to you?" He asks worried.

"Nothing you didn't do anything." I sob.

"Here why don't you calm down and then you can tell me." He says and hugs me. I'm shaking.

"It's okay Annie." He whispers and strokes my hair and rubs my back.

I close my eyes and listen to his breathing.

"You're okay, you're safe here." He says.

I nod.

"It was you, you were dead or murdered or something."

"What? Annie I'm fine it wasn't real."

"It felt real I slipped in a pool of your blood and when I stood up. You were nailed down to the wall. I got close and then...

"What?" He asks

"Your head fell off like when Dan-

"It's okay Annie. I'm fine, my head is head is attached and everything." He smiles and kisses my forehead.

"I love you Finnick and it was so scary. I don't want to see you brutally murdered and-" I start crying again.

"It's okay Annie." He rubs my back again. He pulls me down so I am lying on top of his chest. I'm still sobbing uncontrollably. Finnick runs his fingers through my hair and rubs my back. He keeps telling me everything is alright and it wasn't real.

I grip his shirt and twirl it in my hand. I focus on his breathing and nothing else. I start to calm down and stop playing with his shirt and wrap my arm around his torso.

My breathing is shallow but I'm not crying anymore.

He kisses my forehead.

"You're okay."

I whimper.

"Shhhh. It wasn't real Annie, I'm fine. It was just a terrible nightmare."

I look up and kiss him probably getting my tears on his face but I don't really care and I don't think he will comment on it.

"I love you." I blubber.

"I love you too." He kisses my forehead.

I move my hand and place it so it is near his shoulder.

"Do you want to go-

"If I do I'm afraid I'll see it again I can't see you like that again." I sniffle.

"Okay." He says and keeps stroking my hair. Despite my comment about not wanting to go back to sleep in a few hours I do and thankfully don't see anything.

* * *

I wake up and am still grasping Finnick tightly. I look up and he is still sleeping. I nestle back into his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

I feel his hand stroke my hair and then look up.

"Hi." He says.

"Hi." I whisper because I can't talk from the screaming.

I sit up and kiss him for a long time. Finnick breaks it and looks at the clock.

"I have to get ready for a client." He says sadly.

"Okay." I nod. His lips briefly touch mine.

He gets up and leaves the room probably to shower.

I lie back down and head to the bathroom.

I sigh and look a mess.

Hair is all tangled, pajamas are tear stained, my eyes are blood shot, and very puffy. It was obvious I was crying. I was doing it so much that my eyes hurt when I blink.

I wonder if everyone else could hear me screaming. Finnick says it was for ten minutes straight I'm sure they could.

Finnick comes back and he looks Capitol ready.

"You should head outside. If you don't Aries will just come and get you."

I nod and reach for his hand which he happily takes. After walking out I can tell that they all heard me screaming. I hope they don't bring it up.

"All right now today we will all help you prepare for your interviews!" Aries exclaims

"Actually I will be looking for sponsors Aries." Finnick smiles.

"Way to be a team player Finnick." He smiles and I roll my eyes.

"Yes I'm leaving now actually. Annie could you walk me out." He smiles.

I do and we get to the elevator. No one can see us over here so we don't have to worry about being _professional_.

"You'll be okay Annie. I will be gone for only a few hours okay?" He says and hugs me.

I pull him closer to me and breath deeply into him. He kisses my forehead.

"I love you Annie." He says.

"I love you too Finnick so so much." I whisper into his chest. He lets go of me and I let go of him.

I kiss him briefly and then he gets in the elevator and I leave when the doors close.

I walk to the kitchen and we eat breakfast.

"So do you-

"We don't want your help Annie." The boy sneers.

"Yeah just go back to your room and scream or something." The girl says

"Oh okay." I whisper. I'm not that disappointed.

Luna and the tributes head to the common room but Mags hangs back and goes to sit next to me.

"Are you alright Annie?"

"I guess."

She nods.

"It's okay Annie, don't listen to the tributes."

"I don't care about them."

"What is it then?" She asks gently.

"I... nightmares they're so scary." I say and can feel my eyes filling with tears.

She puts her hair behind my ear.

"It's alight Annie. We all have them."

"Finnick was… dead. There was blood everywhere. I-" I can feel my eyes about to explode with tears. Mags hugs me and strokes my hair.

"It's alright Annie. Finnick is fine and he isn't going anywhere for a long long time." She whispers in my ear.

"Snow could-

"He is too valuable to him."

I let go of her and look at her strangely.

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"Snow gets the most money from him. Instead of killing everyone he cares about he left his brother and sister alive."

"So?"

"He usually kills everyone if you say no. He wanted to make sure Finnick would finally say yes." Mags says sadly.

I swallow hard.

"Oh."

"He'll be fine and so will you."

"Okay."

"Why don't you try and go back asleep." She says.

I nod and head to my room.

I don't fall asleep though. I remember Talia saying I could use the phone in our rooms. I pick it up an dial my home.

It pick up on the second ring.

"Hello?" My mom answers confused probably because our phone has only rung three times in the house and they have all been by Lana. Lana knows I'm not home so she has a right to be confused.

"Mom." I say.

"Annie sweetie what's wrong?"

"I just didn't want to be alone." I say.

"Where's Finnick?"

"With a client." I say.

"Okay. Did something happen? Your voice sound very quite."

"I was screaming for a long time so my voice gave out."

"Oh Annie. You're okay you know that correct?"

"I don't know mom, I don't feel okay right now."

"What do you feel?"

"Sad, scared." I pause. "Lost."

"It will be okay Annie-

"I'm tired of people telling me that. It's not okay, it's not going to be okay. I'm… I'm so broken." I sob.

"Annie you'll be fine just close your eyes and count to ten."

"That's not going to help those stupid games took something that I will never get back. I can't explain what it is but… I know it's true."

"Annie it doesn't matter. I will always love you. I think Finnick will always love you too. It doesn't matter how broken you feel because I will always be there to help pick up your pieces and so will Finnick."

I swallow hard.

"Annie are you still there?"

"Yes, I love you mom."

"I love you too."

"I have to go."

"Okay. You can call me again if you need to."

"Okay." I say and hang up.

I hold a pillow to my chest until the door opens.

I sit up.

"Finncik."

"Hey where you okay."

I nod.

"Good." I think he can tell I'm lying.

I hug him

"Love you." I say.

He nods.

"The interviews will be soon so-

I grip his hand.

"I don't want you to-

"Lucky for you Snow is letting you decide if you want to go down and watch them."

"I want to go." I say a little I eagerly.

Finnick looks at me strangely.

"I want to be with you."

He nods and kisses my forehead.

We go out and then head downstairs to watch the interviews I don't though. I lean against Finnick's shoulder and hold his hand.

I can tell Finnick is watching them. He actually does mentor unlike myself.

After they are over we get to the elevator and Talia, Blake, and Esmeralda are in the elevator already. Their escorts must be taking their tributes back.

Blake and Esmeralda are close to one another and are playfully touching one another and looking at each other lustily. Talia looks bored as if she isn't phased by this at all.

"I liked your hair better last year." Esmeralda says running her fingers through Blake's hair.

I forgot how tall Esmeralda is. Then I look down and see she is wearing tall black heals She is wearing a white shirt and tight jeans. The white has a nice contrast with her chocolate skin. Her ebony hair is up in a high pony tail and it looks like her hair gets lighter as it goes down. I'm assuming that is fake as well. And of course she has in her signature hoop earrings.

"Well I will keep that in mind, but things in Nine can get very boring. Dying hair gets rid of some time." He runs his fingers across her face.

"Okay." She says and whispers something in his ear causing him to smile.

"Hey." Talia says.

Finnick and I both exchange hellos and then he presses the four button. I notice only the eight button is pressed maybe they are going to floor Eight. By the way Blake and Esmeralda are looking and touching each other I'm assuming they are going to the same floor but why would Talia want to go with them.

The elevator takes us quickly to floor Four and I feel awkward by Blake and Esmeralda, but Finnick and Talia don't seem phased maybe this happens all the time when Talia doesn't need Blake. Finnick did say they were _friends_.

The floor dings and we start to get off the elevator.

"Where are you going Finnick?" Esmeralda asks. I'm surprised she was aware that there were other people in here.

"This is my floor." He says confused.

"Yes but we have that meeting for-" Blake gets cut off by Talia elbowing him

"What?" He asks confused

She motions her head towards me.

"Oh right." He says and eyes Finnick and it looks like he wants to say sorry. "We just have a meeting on floor Eight for that thing." Blake says and Esmeralda rolls her eyes and I can hear her whisper "Subtle."

"What kind of meeting?" I ask.

"It's a mentors thing." Finnick says.

"Then shouldn't I be going." I say.

"You can't leave the room. You can't go to the meetings I mean."

The elevator door starts to close but Finnick blocks it with his arm.

"That's only to go downstairs, I have been going to floor Nine to see Talia when you aren't here."

"That's right." He says and eyes Talia. "Well... this is different." He says.

"Why can't I know?" I ask.

He doesn't answer me.

"Why can't I know?" I say this time angry.

"Why don't we let you talk this out in your suite and then you can come to floor Eight in ten minutes." Esmeralda suggests.

"Alright." He says.

We leave the elevator and after the doors close

I can hear Talia say. "Nice job Blake."

I hear Blake respond.

"Sorry I forgot he didn't want Annie to know anything."

"What is it?" I ask Finnick

"Annie it's something you can't know trust me it's better if you're in the dark."

"I want to know Finnick."

"I know but I'm not going to tell you."

"And how do you know I won't just go to floor Eight by myself."

Luna comes over here.

"Thought I heard talking I thought you were Aries." She says and starts to walk off.

"Luna wait." Finnick says.

"Yes." She says unamused.

"Make sure Annie doesn't leave the suite." Finnick says.

It looks like she wants to say no.

"Please." Finnick begs.

"Alright." She says "But don't get used to this Finnick." She says.

"It won't happen again Luna."

"Good." She says.

"You're getting me a babysitter?" I say shocked.

"You can't know it will hurt you in the future. It's better that you know nothing." Finnick says.

"Just leave Finnick." I say annoyed.

"I'll be back in a few hours probably."

"Whatever." I say.

He kisses my forehead and heads to the elevator.

"Love you." He says when he is in the elevator.

I sigh and walk back to the common room.

"And why aren't you going to that meeting?" I ask Luna.

"It doesn't spark my interest."

"So you know what they're talking about."

"Yes."

"How many people are up there?"

"I'd say a little over half of the victors."

"Why aren't you up there then?"

"As I said it doesn't spark my interests. I generally like how things are besides they could just make everything worse."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not going to tell you anything Annie, finnick would kill me. Besides I agree with what he is doing."

"But-

"Just know Finnck could be saving your life by doing this."

I sigh and storm to my room. I don't care what it is, Finnick should tell me. It is obviously important from what it sounds like. How can he not telling me something save my life? And why doesn't it spark Luna's interests? And what did she mean by make it worse? I wonder if Finnick tells me he is going to see a client when he is really going to speak with the other victors.

I put a pillow over my head in frustration.

"Why are you lying to me Finnick Odair." I whisper


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57.**

I hear the door open and wake up. I'm still hazy but I know that must be Finnick. I don't want to go ten rounds with him like I did last time we fought. I think if I just drop it, it will he fine.

"Annie?" He whispers. He waits for a response but I don't give him one.

"I hope you don't have nightmares tonight." He says. He is assuming I'm asleep.

"I just need to come up with something to tell you." He whispers. I start to hear him doing something before he lies down on the bed maybe getting into his pajamas.

"What can I say. I know you will have all kinds of questions." He pauses. "But I can't tell you."

"Why can't you tell me Finnick." He says mocking my voice.

"Because I'm trying to protect you." He says

"I'm tired of hearing that Finnick. Why can't you just tell me, do you think I can't handle it." He mocks me.

"No, it's because if I tell you, you will die or get hurt or tortured. Annie you will figure out why, probably one day soon but it will not be from my lips." He says

"You always say you're trying to protect me but, your just paranoid." He mocks

"I'm not paranoid Annie I know too much. I know more than you so trust me when I say I am protecting you." He says. "I have no idea what she will say next." I can tell he is looking at me.

Him coming up with a full blown conversation of what might happen would be funny or creepy if the things he were saying weren't spot on. I think that is the end of the discussion. I could think of a few more things to say to him. What he is saying is just giving me more questions.

Finnick lies on the bed but he is resting against the headboard. I can tell he is looking at me.

He sighs.

"I just love you so much" He says and kisses my forehead. "That's why I can't tell you."

He lies down this time and tries to fall asleep. I fall asleep but wake up in a few hours.

"Erhh mhhh no." Finnick mutters. I sit up and see he is asleep but talking. He usually does this when he has nightmares.

"No… no." He whispers. He starts to move around a lot and he is breathing heavy. He is at that point of no return in a nightmare.

I shake his shoulder.

"Finnick wake up."

He just keeps mutter things.

"Finnick wake up." I shake him again. "Finnick wake-

He does and grabs my hands and pins me down. He has that crazed look in his eyes that sometimes happens after a nightmare.

"Finnick relax it's just me. Annie."

He figures it out quickly and lets go of me. He sits up slowly.

"S-sorry Annie." He says shakily.

I turn on the bedside lamp.

"You're okay Finnick."

"I know." He says aggressively. He is sometimes angry after he has nightmares. I don't know why but I don't know why I wake up screaming and crying.

"Okay." I say and leave him alone.

"Annie." He says after a few minutes.

"Yes."

"Just checking." He says.

I nod.

"Are you-

"Yes." He says.

"Do you want to-

"No I'm fine Annie." He says annoyed.

I roll my eyes and roll over. I don't like dealing with him when he acts like this after he wakes up from a nightmare. He doesn't want me to ask questions even though I want to help him.

I don't want to go back to sleep because I know that would be terrible but my eyes are drowsy.

"Annie?" Finnick says this time in a nicer tone. I sit up.

"Yes Finnick."

"I'm sorry." He says.

"It's okay." I say and hug him. He cradles his head on my shoulder and grips my hair.

"I love you Annie so so much."

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" I ask.

"It was just arena stuff. People being murdered, killing… me killing."

"It's alright Finnick. It's okay." I say and rub his back.

"I know, just reliving past memories in your dreams is not…"

"I know." I say.

He hugs me for a long time.

"Annie about me leaving earlier-

"Just drop it."

"But Annie."

"Even if I ask you're not going to tells are you?" I ask although I know the answer from overhearing him talking to himself.

"Correct."

"Then we should just drop it even though I think you're overreacting."

"I'm not overreacting. You may think I am but I know I'm not."

I nod and close my eyes.

"Will you ever tell me?"

He sighs.

"You will probably find out, hopefully sooner rather than later but, when you do find out it won't be from my lips. I'm sure it will make more sense then."

"You're just confusing me more Finnick." I say.

He shrugs.

"I'm sorry." He says and leans in to kiss me I consider backing away but, decide not to and let him kiss me. Finnick and I both share an undesirable personality trait and that would be stubbornness. He isn't going to tell me and I'm not going to stop asking. I'm sure one of us will cave eventually. I have a feeling it is going to be me. Finnick makes it sound like he is going to take this to his grave.

"Let's just go to sleep, we have to mentor tomorrow. Unless you want to talk about that nightmare." I say gently.

He shakes his head.

"No thanks, not this time." He says.

"You've been saying that the past few times Finnick-

"I don't want to talk about it Annie." He says defensively.

"Okay." I say. I can't make him talk but, when he doesn't tell me it makes me worried.

* * *

I step out from the elevator and see that lovely building that is the hive. I make it through the first check through point and then head to the elevator that will take me up to floor four. Finnick had to take the tributes down this year so did Mags. Luna wasn't there when I woke up so I assumed she went to do some last minute mentor business.

I get on the elevator and the thumb reader pops out. I let it read my thumb and hear. _District Four Annie Cresta victor of 70th Hunger Games._

The elevator doors are about to close but, I see an arm and the doors open again. The arm belongs to Johanna Mason.

"Hello Annie." She smiles.

"Hi Johanna."

The thumb print reader scans her thumb.

"Don't you have someone to help you?" I ask.

"There's only one other and someone has to take the tributes down but, I can handle myself." She smiles and looks me up and down. "Haven't seen much of you where do they keep you hidden?" I can't tell if she is baiting me or not but, I will just play it cool.

"Here and there." I smile.

The elevator starts to take us up to my floor.

"Before you step off the elevator I just wanted to say sorry." Johanna says.

"Sorry? For what?" I ask confused.

"Me on the Victory Tour I could tell you didn't like that I was all over Finnick but, after coming here and talking with Finnick more-

"I can't accept your apology."

"But Annie-

"Because you didn't know anything but if you try now I might need to cut a bitch." I smile.

Johanna smiles a my me slyly I think I just gained some approval from her.

"You're not half bad Annie Cresta."

"Same goes to you Johanna Mason."

The does open and I step out

"Good luck." I say.

"I don't need your luck. I believe in making your own." She smiles and the doors close.

I head to the desks and register myself to one. I hear the doors open and turn to see Luna.

"Annie were you alright coming here?" She asks she sounds genuine. Luna is an alright person, I just don't understand why she hangs with the people from One and Two, then again why does Gloss hang around with them.

"Yes." I say.

"They should be up soon, did you get registered to a desk?"

I nod.

Within five minutes Mags and Finnick come through the doors.

Finnick heads over to me and gets registered to a desk.

"You okay?" He asks me.

"In this scenario yes I would say I'm okay." I smile and he kisses me.

"Good I'm glad." He says.

_Lockdown will start in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Lockdown for 72nd Hunger Games initiated._

The screens start to light up and give us a good look at the arena. This year it looks like a fish bowl literally. All the tributes are perched in a glass bowl that is full of water. You can clearly see some sea creatures in the water. Some of them are Capitol engineered and that are probably lethal.

"Do you think they can all swim?" I ask.

"Most of them probably can't." Luna says.

"You think that is fresh water?" I ask.

"What do you think?" Finnick whispers.

"That's what I thought." I say. If they gave them fresh water it would make it too easy.

There isn't a lot of land but, there is some, most of it has trees so you can have some coverage but, the arena is very, very small.

"Do they want it to end quickly or something?" I ask.

"There is probably more that meets the eye Annie." Mags says.

"Welcome to the 72nd Hunger Games and as always may the odds be ever in your favor." The gong sounds and the blood starts to fly.


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

The bloodbath starts and it is clear who is at the disadvantage here. The tributes from 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 11, and 12 can't swim. I am not surprised about 8, 9, 11 because they were mostly factories. Not given the the chance because they didn't have a drop of water to learn with. The people of District 12 had lots of land but, I didn't see any water. Even if there was they are so poor I doubt they would care about it. It wouldn't be a useful skill for them anyways.

I'm surprised the people from Two don't know how to swim though. It was mostly factories as well but you would think with them being so rich they would be able to learn somehow.

District One had a few ponds. I do remember on the Victory Tour they were bragging of they're indoor gyms. One probably has a swimming pool. District Four has the sea. District Five has lots of land, I don't remember seeing any water but considering they are as rich as us they probably found some way to learn. District Six is responsible for transportation and I do remember seeing a large pond off in the distance. I remember District Ten had big tubs of water that were probably five feet tall for the animals. I guess you can learn to swim from that.

They aren't all strong swimmers but it is better than staying on your circle standing there. You can't learn how to swim once you get here so I guess you are just out of luck just another disadvantage these games brings.

The sea monsters don't seem to be attacking but I have a feeling that will be saved for later. I'm sure all the tributes have noticed them, because the water is as clear as a mirror.

After the bloodbath is over the tributes from Twelve, Eleven, Nine, and Three are all dead. They didn't know how to swim so the careers targeted them first. I'm surprised the people from Seven and Eight got away. For this arena you need to know how to swim it is almost all water. It is as if the tributes are the fish in the bowl.

The careers are at the cornucopia that looks like it is just floating on water, it looks like they are standing on water.

"How are they doing that?" I ask confused.

"It's glass Annie." Finnick says gently.

"What?"

Finnick guides my head to the other screens and I can see what he means there are glass walkways that lead right to the cornucopia. They are high up enough so you can still swim under them. It meshes right with the water so you would only notice them if you were looking for them. The careers can probably see all of them now because they are on the cornucopia.

"Alright let's go for the weak swimmers first." The male tribute from One says.

"I think that would be the people from Seven and Eight."

"What about Ten?" Our female tribute asks.

"They were better than Seven and Eight." A girl replies.

"What about Five and Six?"

"Let's just focus on Seven and Eight then we can just kill as we please." The boy from Two smiles. Everyone thinks one of the tributes from Two will win this year and I can see why, I get shivers just watching him.

They do just that and then head back to camp. They admire the faces in the sky and share how they killed each of them. Some of them did drown but, it is still disturbing. After that they go to sleep the cameras shift to the tributes from Five. They are showing them making camp they both knew how to swim. The male better than the female. He went back and saved her so they could stick together. I don't know if it is because they knew each other or the male just didn't want to be alone.

"You think were good?" The girl asks.

"I don't know Emma, I think for now. We should just stay here for a few hours and keep moving."

"If we keep moving they can't catch us." She smiles. "Smart Jay." She says.

"Especially in this arena, they don't have much land which means there isn't much coverage. If they would stay in one place too long they would probably die pretty quick." Luna says.

"Do you think that bit of land has dangerous things in it?" I ask.

Luna shrugs.

"I wouldn't put it past them Annie." Mags says.

I nod.

No one dies during the night or for the next few days. This caused the gamemakers to make the small amount of land they had sink into the water. This caused most of the tributes on the land die. Both from Five are still alive and the girl from Ten and boy from Six and of course the careers.

As soon as they hit the water the tributes from Five go back to their circles so they have somewhere to sit and can take a break from swimming.

"We should stay down." Emma whispers.

"How are they doing that?" Jay whispers.

"What?"

"Standing around the cornucopia."

"It's just sand Jay." She whispers.

He nods but, doesn't look convinced. They take turns sitting on the circle the whole time Jay is looking around.

The next day seems like a blur the careers kill the boy from Ten and nothing exciting seems to be happening after that.

Jay and Emma from Five have just stayed in the water for the most part. They are far enough away and can hide between their circles but, I get a feeling since it is down to the nitty gritty they are going to start using those sea creatures.

Jay is sitting on his circle and picks something up and throws it.

He looks around strange.

"What's wrong?" Emma asks.

"I didn't hear a splash." He whispers.

"So?"

He looks around.

"What does it look like?"

"What?"

"The arena." He says.

"I don't know a bowl." She says.

He nods.

"Made of what looks to be glass and I think that is what they are standing on."

"But-

To prove his point reaches out and slides his hand against the smooth surface.

"No way." She says.

"Way." He says.

After they figure this out it starts to rain heavily and it is a severe thunderstorm I can see the lighting in the clouds.

"We should get out of the water in a case a lighting bolt hits the water. I don't want to die because of the weather." The Jay says.

"He wouldn't die from that anyways." I say.

"What makes you say that Annie?" Finnick asks confused.

"When lighting strikes the water it doesn't kill things. Think back to thunderstorms in District Four what happens when the lighting hits the ocean." I say.

"Nothing." He says.

"Exactly nothing."

"What?"

"If what there saying is correct then all the fish would be dead too but it's not."

"Why is that?" Finnick asks

I shrug.

"Don't know."

"I'm sure if you asked Beetee he would know. What with him winning with electrocution and all." Luna says.

Finnick nods.

"I will keep that in mind." He says.

I start to feel dizzy and head to the lounge area and Finnick follows me. I lie down on the couch and Finnick goes over and sits next to me.

"Are you okay?" He whispers and kisses my forehead.

"I'm tired but, can't fall asleep."

"I understand."

My eyes start filling with tears.

"I just want to go home, I just want to get the horribleness of this trip behind me." I sit up and hug Finnick and start crying.

He rubs my back and smooths my hair.

"It's okay Annie it's almost over with."

"I guess." I whisper. I hug Finnick so he as close to me as possible. I rest my head on his chest and notice his heartbeat is really fast.

"What's wrong?" He asks when I pull back.

"You're heart is beating really fast Finnick do you feel okay?"

He smirks.

"Annie relax it's just the drugs."

"Are you sure." I say worried.

"Yes." He kisses my cheek. "Don't worry about me Annie."

"Then what would I do in my free time." I sniffle.

"I guess that is true." He says and my lips quickly meet his. I hold him for a long, long time it might have been for a whole day. It's hard to tell when you can't fall asleep.


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59**

I head out to the main room and it seems that the final countdown has begun because as I predicted they are starting to use the sea monsters you have been able to see for the whole game. They were just floating at the bottom but, now it is obvious because they are starting to attack the fish that aren't Capitol made. The water is tinted red and the tributes are starting to look alarmed.

"We should go." Jay from five says. By that I think he means back on the glass platform him and Emma have been switching on and off. There isn't really anywhere else to go because the gamemakers destroyed all the land.

The cameras now cut to the careers.

"We should be safe here." The boy from One says.

"Yeah but-

Our female tribute gets cut off by the glass holding the cornucopia. It broke into a million pieces by one of the sea monsters which is huge. It looks part dragon, part snake, and part fish because of the big fins it has. The face of this mutt just looks like a killing machine and that is probably all it knows how to do because it enjoyed tearing our female tribute limb from limb.

The rest of the tributes fall into the water both tributes from One die almost instantly because they had cuts from the glass. This caused all the sea animals around them to viciously bite into them, there is barely any of them left

The only people who are now left is both from Two, our male tribute, and both from Five. The odds were always in the favor for the people from Two but, I think the tributes from Five could also win this. Bleu would finally have someone to help her out.

The glass on the tributes from Five where standing on breaks also and the girl dies instantly. Surprisingly Jay didn't get a scratch on him so the animals won't attack him but, I get the feeling he will be dragged into the water eventually.

The giant dragon like monster goes deep under the water maybe they are giving the tributes a break. The water is no longer crystal clear it is a pink red color.

"That was intense." The girl from Two says. Breathing heavily.

"Yes it was." The boy from Two says and pulls out his knife and stabs her with it and her cannon goes off. I'm not surprised there is barely anyone left. There is one glass piece left and it is starting to light up so all the tributes know where it is.

"Trap." I say.

"Well, it's either fight or die from the monsters." Luna says.

I look to the screens and the mutts are starting to surround the tributes. I'm trying to think which would be the worst of the two. If you go in the water it looks like the fish rip every part of you apart. I have a feeling that would be worse than getting stabbed.

Our male tribute, the boy from Two, and the boy from Five head to the last piece of glass. Once they all get there the tributes from Four and Two start to charge each other. The one from Five just hangs back which isn't stupid at least one will probably die before he tries to get the final blow. But, before they can attack each other a gain sea monster comes over it looks like dragon, a dinosaur, and a bird. It flies out of the water.

It is huge mostly white but has blue fins and a blue belly the wings on it has looks like giant hands. I have no idea who comes up with the idea to make these mutts but, they are very creative.

The monster flies over them and starts to fly straight over the glass causing them all to fall into the water. The boy from our District drowns the tribute from Two.

"We will probably win." Luna says.

"Why?"

"Annie please it all comes down to swimming."

"Not with that big... monster." I say.

She doesn't respond and we watch the screen.

Both tributes go back to the glass and are next to each other and are having a fist fight. They are both on top of each other, they are evenly matched, I think it could go either way. Until our tribute gets on top of him and starts beating him and wraps his hands around his neck.

"See." I say with disgust.

The monster is still there and starts to dive again. The tribute from Five sees this and uses our tribute as a shield while it goes to make the final death blow. The cannon goes off and the monster turns into dust.

_District Four eliminated._ The voice says and the elevator opens.

"Looks like Bleu will have some help now." Luna says.

"Yes." Mags says.

"One to help with the boys now." She smiles. I don't say anything I just hold Finnick's hand. I see the button Mags pressed and it is the 4 button.

"We still have to socialize." I say with disgust.

"Yes." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"I want to go home." I whisper. I don't think any of them heard me. We step off the elevator and I can hear it is full of excitement probably because they now know who the winner is or because the games are over.

I lead Finnick to where the least amount of people are. Mags comes with us and Luna goes off to see the people from One and Two. They both look a smidge angry probably because their tributes didn't win. Most of the Capitol is probably surprised because everyone was betting on Two.

I sigh and lean against Finnick who is talking with Mags but, I just close my eyes and try to zone everything out. I concertante on listening to my breathing and feel at peace for a bit. I hear a chair scoot out and open my eyes. I see Mags has gone and that was probably the noise.

"Annie." Finnick whispers in my ear.

I open my eyes and look at him.

"We have to do interviews because our tribute was in the final fight."

"Okay."

"No, you don't have to go."

"Oh." I say because he doesn't have to explain Snow doesn't want the world to see me.

"I'll be right back and then we can leave."

I nod and he stands up.

I look around and notice that the only other victors in here are a few from One. They probably got the others from Two already. I only recognize a some of them probably because I didn't meet all of them on my Victory Tour.

I sit down and pick at the table until I hear a chair slide out and I look up and see it is Cashmere.

"Hello Annie." She smiles.

"Hi." I whisper.

"The rest of the victors from Four are getting interviewed why aren't you?" She says in a taunting tone she knows why I'm not getting interviewed.

"Don't have to go." I whisper again.

"Must be fun not having to do what everyone else does because your...

I close my eyes waiting for the word crazy but it doesn't come. I open my eyes to see if she left but, she hasn't

"Insane." She says.

"Please leave." I whisper and a tear rolls down my cheek and I see a satisfied Cashmere.

I look around and see it is just Gloss, myself and, Cashmere left in the room. Gloss start to walk over here and sits down emotionless as always.

"Heard you borrowed some of my clothes, I kinda want those back." She smiles.

"Aren't they all the same."

"Yes but, that's not the point."

"What is?"

"They're _mine_."

I don't say anything Cashmere looks off in the distance.

"I think it's our turn Gloss, come." Cashmere says like a dog and leaves the room.

"Don't let her win Annie." He says

"What?"

"The game." He says

Before I can asks I see Cashmere standing next to him.

"Get your fucking ass up we have work to do Gloss."

She looks at me and sighs

"You want to fuck her?"

"No." He says disgusted.

"Then what are you doing here."

He sighs.

She stands up I think to leave but she turns around and bangs Gloss' down on the table and has him pined him down. I can hear his shoulder cracking probably about to be removed from it's socket.

I shouldn't be surprised she is a trained killer but who does that to their brother.

I'm sure he is stronger than her too so why-

"You're right." She smiles and let's go of Gloss' arm and pulls him up by his hair. He has blood on is face. "But Gloss is a pussy." She gets close to his face and whispers "He doesn't hit girls he just kills them." She then let's go of him

"Get up and clean that shit off your face we have an interview to do about how much we _love_ each other." She rolls her eyes.

She smiles and blows me a kiss.

"Annie."

Gloss then gets up and they both walk out of the room

"What a bitch." I whisper. I can understand why he doesn't like her. I didn't need to see that to know why though. I wonder why is it like that, I doubt it is from the games. I didn't think all careers were so... heartless.

I see Finnick come over here.

"Annie." He says. He waves his hand in front of my face.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Yeah just think of something."

He nods.

"We can go upstairs now."

I grab his hand and we head to the elevator.

"We get to go home soon." I whisper.

"Yes we do." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.


	60. Chapter 60

****A/N: sixty chapters ah mah gawd! Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you're enjoying!****

**Chapter 60**

Finnick and I have been home for a few weeks and I have been feeling better. I think I just needed to get the hell out of there.

Although I feel better something is wrong with Finnick. I can tell but he isn't telling me. It is making me worried. I can't get him to talk but ever since he went to floor eight that night in the Capitol he has been different. I don't think it is because he is hiding something from me. It is the thing he is hiding from me that is bothering him.

Finnick is in the Capitol now and I am at home relaxing.

"Annie dinner time." I hear my mom say and walk downstairs.

"Hello, hello Miss Annie." She smiles and puts dinner down on the table.

I push the food around my plate.

"Getting cold." My mom says and pulls me out of my trance.

"Sorry." I say and take a bite. "It good." I smile.

"I was hunting for a compliment Annie. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing I just...

"Annie what is it are you alright?"

"I'm fine it's just Finnick."

"Are you fighting again?"

I smile.

"No, no."

"What's wrong then?"

"Mom did you and Dad ever keep secrets from one another?" She strokes my hair.

"Secrets secrets are no fun secrets secrets hurt someone." She says.

"So that's a no then."

She shakes her head.

"That is just a statement."

"So-

"Annie I loved your father but he could be peculiar at times. He kept secrets. I found out what they where when he died. The things he didn't tell me Annie were for my own good. You shouldn't keep secrets from someone unless you know it will put someone in harms way."

"What secrets did dad not tell you about?" I ask.

"Had to do with Capitol stuff."

"Oh." I don't bother asking what because I get the feeling she won't tell me.

"He wasn't murdered was he?"

"No he died in that terrible storm a few days back. Why would you even suggest that Annie?"

"I know President Snow now and." I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

My mom hugs me.

"It's okay Annie." She kisses my cheek.

"You miss him?" I ask.

"Every single day." She says and moves a piece of hair across from my face. "Especially since you look just like him." She kisses my cheek.

"Okay." I whisper

"You should remember that whatever Finnick does it is to protect you. I'm sure you hae secrets you don't tell him."

"Not really." I whisper.

She smiles.

"In sure that's not true. It may not be a huge secret but I'm sure there is something. We all have secrets Annie the ones we keep and the ones that are kept from us." She says and kisses my forehead.

"I love you." I say and hug her tightly.

"I love you too Annie."

* * *

I see Finnick walk up to my porch and I open the door before he gets the chance to knock.

"Back from the Capitol." He smiles and opens his arms. Which I happily hug into.

"Yay!" I say and kiss him.

"How were you while I was away?"

"Okay." I say.

"Annie."

"What?"

"Something happened."

"I might have had a panic attack but I'm all better now."

"Annie are you sure."

"Yes, my mother can take care of me. You're not the only one who can do it you know." I smile.

He smiles

"I guess sometimes I forget."

"You have an ego." I smile.

"Maybe a little." He says and kisses me.

I pull back and look at him strangely.

"What?" He asks confused.

"Are you alright Finnick?" I ask.

"Why?"

"I don't know you seem different."

"I'm probably just tired." He says.

"Okay, I'll let you get some sleep then" I say but his hold on me tightens

"No I didn't see you for awhile I want to be with you."

* * *

"Finnick." I look at him strangely he has been off for the best few days.

"Mmmh"

"Is something bothering you?"

"Why would you say that?"

"I don't know the last few days you've seen withdrawn and quiet."

He shrugs.

"I guess, I'm sorry." He says.

"It's okay Finnick was the last Capitol visit… different."

He shrugs.

"I try and block most of it out so I don't really know. I guess it's just been one of those days." He says.

I nod and lean against his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me. I look and smile at him. He smiles back but it isn't reaching his eyes. His eyes are glazed over with something that I don't recognize.

"Finnick."

"Yes."

"If something was bothering you, you would tell me right."

"Of course Annie." He smiles and kisses my forehead but I get the feeling he is lying.

* * *

I'm going over to Finnick's house today. He wanted to take me somewhere or show me something. I'm sure I will find out soon. I'm sure he's going to do it with Finnick fashion probably going to be cheesy and somewhat ridiculous but I love it because it matches Finnick's personality. Although he has been acting strange all week. I'm starting to think I was just reading into it because I worry about

I go to Finnick's house and knock on the door. He doesn't answer so I just walk in.

"Finnick let's get going I'm curious to what you are going to show me." I shout but there's no answer.

"Finnick!" I shout again but still no answer. I think he is upstairs. I climb up the stairs and see Finnick looking at himself in the bathroom mirror.

"Finnick I know you love to look at yourself but don't you think this is a bit obsessive." I tease but he doesn't say anything.

"Finnick?" I say again. "Did you not hear me?" He doesn't do anything and I'm worried.

"Sorry I've just had this headache all day. It's just hard to deal with… I can't stop my thoughts."

"It's okay." I say and hug him he feels hot.

"Are you sure you're not sick Finnick you feel hot." I lean in closer and it looks like he has been crying.

"Maybe I don't-

"Do you want to lie down? I think that might help." I say

"No I'm fine." He says but he doesn't look it

"Finnick I think you're sick you should lie down and try to sleep it off."

"Annie-

"You should take some medicine and then go to sleep."

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"There's no meds left here." He says his voice sounds full of despair

"It's okay there's some at my house we can go there." I say.

"No Annie just let me stay here."

"But Finnick."

"Just let me stay here." He says again with more force in his voice.

I touch him again and hug him.

"You're burning up Finnick. Your hearts beating really fast too. I think you should go to the hospital."

"No I can't do that." He says firmly

"Why not?" He says and sways a little causing him to fall on the toilet.

"Do you feel like you're going to be sick?" I ask him.

"I don't know."

"Finnick this is making me feel uneasy just let me take you to the hospital."

He shakes his head

"No." He says firmly again.

"Finnick I-" I stop talking and notice a pill container on the sink. "Finnick I thought you said you were out of medicine."

"I am, it's empty."

"Empty." I say.

"Empty." He repeats.

The word echoes through the air as I slowly understand what he is telling me. It all fits. Why he doesn't want to go to the hospital. Why he was saying he couldn't get it to stop. Why he said he couldn't deal with it. Why he has been acting strange and pushing me away. It all makes sense.

"How many did you take."

"Annie-

"How many did you take." I say again almost with anger in my voice. I think it has more worry though.

Finnick puts his hands on his face.

"Finnick." I say. I'm starting to get worried. I hope what I'm thinking isn't true but, since he isn't telling makes me know I'm right.

He takes his hands off his face and looks at me and whispers all of them.


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61**

"What?" I ask.

"I took all of them. I just wanted it to stop." He says

"You need to go to the hospital." I say again.

"No." He says.

"Finnick if you don't go to the hospital you could die." I pick up the pill container it was aspirin depending on how much he took it could be a few days but it could be a few hours I don't know how long he has been standing here.

"That was kind of the point." He says.

"Finnick."

"What does it matter. Life death."

"We can argue about this on the way to the hospital let's go."

"No Annie I don't want to go." He slurs.

"I don't care!" I shout at him. He looks at me strangely."You're going with me."

"I don't feel good let's just stay here." He says he keeps talking like he is drunk which is worrying me.

"Finnick no. If you're at the hospital they can make you feel better." I say gently.

"I don't want to feel _better_ I just want it to stop." He says.

"What to stop?"

"I just want to die!" He shouts.

"Finnick."

"Just leave me alone! Just let me die! I want to die Annie please just let me do this. Annie I can't take it anymore." He shouts and is crying a little.

"Finnick stand up we need to go to the hospital." I say again even though I know it is useless.

"Weren't you listening to me Annie? I want to die. No hospital. No buts. Either leave or stay here until I die. I don't care but you're not taking me anywhere."

I get up and go to the phone and call emergency services because I don't think I will be able to take him there. I can't drag him either because he is heavier than I am.

I go back into the bathroom.

"Finnick Odair please let me take you to the hospital." I say.

"Why are you crying Annie?"

"Because if you don't go to the hospital with me you're going to die. I can't have you die Finnick please come with me. "

Finnick laughs like a drunk

"Haven't you been listening I want to die. I want to die." He says and starts crying

"Finnick." I sit next to him and hold him. "You're going to be fine."

"No please don't take me to the hospital. Please don't Annie. I. Want. To. Die."

"I can't Finnick. You can't die not yet."

"But I want to! God dammit Annie!"

I feel a tear roll down my cheek and close my eyes.

"I want to die that's why I did this. You talking to me isn't going to change anything. Not you're crying or begging. Just leave me alone. I want to die. Just let me die." Finnick sobs

I breathe in and out trying not to panic. I can feel more tears roll down my cheeks.

_Don't panic emergency services will be here soon._ I think.

The emergency services come and take him to the hospital they pumped his stomach and made him drink something that could absorb the drugs. Finnick isn't allowed to leave for seventy two hours in case he tries to hurt himself again. Then other precautions might have to take place.

I've been in the hospital for almost four hours. They told me what was wrong but he isn't allowed to see anyone. Apparently he is being _aggressive_.

A doctor starts walking towards me.

"You can see him now Miss. Cresta." He says and leads me to his room.

I walk in the room and hug him but he stiffens.

"Finnick." I say.

"Annie." He says coldly.

"Finnick I couldn't-

"Why didn't you just let me die."

"Finnick."

"Annie-

I hold his hand but he is pushing it away.

"You should've let me die."

"Couldn't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because you have too many people who care about you still Finnick."

He puts his hands on his face and I can tell he is crying.

I hug him.

"It's okay Finnick." I whisper. He hugs me tightly.

"What's wrong with me."

"Nothing." I kiss his cheek. "I love you Finnick so much. You're going to be okay now."

"I love you too Annie but sometimes that isn't enough."

"Finnick." I smooth his hair and he looks at me. His face is drained of color. I'm assuming that's from the stomach pumping. He has tears on his face and he is looking at me with a look of despair and annoyance. I can still see the love though. "It's going to be okay."

He closes his eyes and a few tears spill out.

"I don't feel good."

"Well, they pumped your stomach to get rid of the drugs which isn't a fun experience I'm assuming."

"That's not what I mean."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I don't know. I just don't feel good." He says and starts crying.

"Shhh." I say and stroke his hair. "I'm not going to be leaving you alone once you get out of here."

He hugs me and is crying harder.

"Annie." He keeps saying over and over again. When I try to answer he just repeats my name. I stroke his hair.

When he stops talking and crying. I smooth his hair I want to tell him something.

"Next time you feel like this please tell me or someone. I can't have you killing yourself. I remember you promising me you would never leave."

"I know but Annie."

He hugs me again.

"I still want to die." He whispers

"Finnick." I say and kiss his forehead.

I don't really know what to say.

"I should call your brother." I whisper for only myself to hear.

"No." He says firmly.

"But Finnick I think-

"Annie No." He says firmly and almost angry.

"Okay." I whisper.

"You're going to do it anyways aren't you." He says in a sob like tone.

"Finnick they're going to find out anyways and it's better to hear it from you."

"They don't need to know Annie it worked fine the last time and it will work fine this time."

"Last time?" I ask. I remember what Pearl told me she thought Finnick tried to kill himself before.

"Try and kill myself. That time was after my parents died, going to the Capitol, not being able to see Jason and Maric, just Michael, and my parents were dead.I didn't know how to deal with it." It looks like Pearl was right he did try to kill himself. It doesn't really matter not now. Thinking back to what she told me I should've noticed it.

"No one else knows about this Annie."

"Didn't someone need to stay with you."

"Well Mags knew but other than that."

"Is this why you don't want me to call Jason?"

"Yes I was thinking no one else could know this time either."

"Finnick you're in the hospital-

"I was last time."

"But you were being kept from them and I think you're going to be here a few days and aren't Marci-

"Annie." He says in a warning tone.

"Finnick take a step back and assess the situation."

"I don't care you don't know what you're talking about Annie just don't tell them anything."

"Finnick you're going to be in here for at least three days. You see them everyday they are going to be asking where you are."

"So make something up!" He shouts.

"Finnick I can't do that. The hospital might call them anyways."

"I don't care. I don't care." He says.

He stares at me for a while. I want to tell him something. I clear my throat because I'm afraid of what he might say.

"I know you're not telling me things Finnick and I'm okay with that. But, if it is causing you to want to kill yourself just don't do it anymore it isn't worth it."

"Yes it is and that's not why I wanted to kill myself." He mumbles.

I'm not going to ask him what the reason was because I don't think he even knows.

He puts his hand over his face.

"I don't feel good." He says again.

I don't want to say it's because you tried to kill yourself because I'm sure he is feeling that already.

I hold his hand and just look at him.

"It will be okay." I say and kiss his cheek.

He closes his eyes.

A doctor comes into the room and I pat his shoulder and he opens his eyes.

"Mr. Odair." The doctor says "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." He says. He sounds annoyed.

"That's not uncommon for these situations. It has to do with all the drugs and the stomach pumping. You might feel the same tomorrow. It should pass by the time you are discharged."

"Okay." He whispers

"Now according to your records. You had a drug overdose and stomach pumping a few years ago. Was it also intentional then as well?"

"Yes." He says.

"You were experiencing suicidal thoughts then as well?"

"Obviously." Finnick mutters.

"Did you ever seek out professional help after the first incident?"

"Professional help?" He asks confused.

"A therapist, a-

"No." He says he sounds irritated.

The doctor writes something down.

"Alright now, Mr. Odair there is a seventy two hour hold for patients who try to hurt or kill themselves."

"Okay." He says. Although he knew this already.

"However due to your history of self harm. You should be under observation and evaluated to see if further precautions need to be taken."

"What does that mean?" Finnick asks.

"Well if we feel you are still a harm to yourself after seventy two hours you may be in the hospital longer."

"You can't hold me against my will."

"Mr. Odair it is just for your best interest."

"But I need to go places."

"I'm sure it can wait."

"No it can't!" He shouts. "He doesn't know-

"Finnick he is just doing his job, calm down." I say. I'm assuming if he acts out he will stay here longer.

"But Annie they don't understand if I can't leave then... " he trails off. If they think he is paranoid it may earn him a one way ticket in here.

"I'm sure it will be fine. I know you are a victor but maybe you just need to take a break from things. Try to relax." The doctor says if only he knew that wasn't an option.

"Miss Cresta visiting hours end in twenty minutes." He says and leaves.

"Annie if they keep me in here Snow might start killing people."

I smooth Finnick's hair.

"Finnick just relax."

"Relax? Relax?" He says angrily."He should just kill me not anyone I care about."

"Finnick-

"I don't think he would kill me now because I want to die."

"Sweetie-

"I can't relax they make it seem like I'm going to be in here longer than three days and at the end of the week I'm supposed to go to the Capitol."

"I'm sure it will be okay." I say and kiss him.

"I want to die Annie and it won't be okay until then."

I hug him and try to hold the tears in. I don't know how to handle a situation like this. I don't want Finnick to hurt himself but it sounds like he really really wants to. He wants to die.

I leave the hospital and despite Finnick's requests I go to find his brother.

I bang on the door. I have never been here but I know this is the house. Finnick has pointed it out many times because this was the house he grew up in until he moved into the village.

The door opens.

"Oh Annie." Michael says. "I told Finnick you couldn't-

"Is Jason here?"

"What's it to you."

"I need to talk to him."

"Annie this is my time with them I don't care-

I see Jason in the kitchen and walk past Michael.

"Annie you're not by supposed to be here." Jason says his voice is full of worry.

"I don't care Finnick's…

"What? What's wrong with Finnick?"

"He is in the hospital." I say.

"What did he do?"

I lean in so Michael won't hear.

"He tried to kill himself."

I back away and look at Jason.

"He did what?"

"Annie Cresta please leave." Michael says.

"She's not going anywhere." Jason says.

"Jason-" Michael says in a warning tone.

"She's not going anywhere." Jason says again.

"How? When?" Jason looks back to me.

"Early this afternoon they wouldn't let me see him for awhile."

"We should go see him."

"Visiting hours are over Jason."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Physically yes, mentally I have no idea."

"Annie." Michael says.

"Shut up Michael." Jason says

"Do not raise your voice at me Jason. Whatever you're talking about I'm sure it can wait."

"No it can't Finnick is in the hospital this is more important then whatever you want to do."

"Finnick's in the hospital." I hear Marci say. She wasn't in the room before. I have a feeling Jason didn't want her to know this yet.

"Yes." I say.

"Why?" She asks.

"Yes Annie why?" Michael taunts.

"Is that why he has been acting so strange?" Marci asks. Looks like she noticed it too, I'm sure Jason did as well.

"Marci, Finnick hasn't been feeling well so he… he wanted to fix it. He didn't handle it the best way so he ended up in the hospital." Jason explains. It is technically true. Marci is fifteen he should just tell her the truth. It isn't my place though.

"He finally tried to off himself." Michael says smiling

"Finnick tried to kill himself." Marci says and it looks like she is holding in tears.

"Yes Marci that is what Jason is telling you it's not as poetic but he treats you like a small child. You're brother tried to kill himself... finally." Michael says.I'm disgusted because I can hear the glee in his voice

Marci starts crying and leaves the room. Jason goes after her.

Michael smiles.

"How did he do it?" Michael asks. He is too excited for this.

I don't answer.

"I always imagined it with lots of blood around him. Was there blood Annie?"

"What is wrong with you!" I shout.

He opens his mouth.

"I don't give a fuck if you don't like him but, you should never mock someone who almost died or tried to kill themselves! You are a-

He grabs my arm very tightly.

"You will not speak to me like that in my own house Annie especially since you aren't supposed to be here." His grip tightens and I wince.

"Does that hurt Annie." His grip tightens again.

"Get off of her." Jason shoves him and takes my hand and leads me somewhere.

"Where are we going?"I ask but he doesn't answer. He takes me up stairs and into the first room, I see Marci in the bed holding a pillow to her chest. The walls are a soft pink I can tell the color has faded over the years. She has a few dressers and a full length mirror. I can see her clothes neatly folded on the floor she must not have enough space in her drawers.

The room is as big as my bedroom in my old house but hers doesn't have a closet. I don't think this room was meant to be used as a bedroom not that it matters.

"Marci were getting out of here." Jason says.

Marci rolls over and nods.

"I don't think the front door is-

"Oh Annie." Marci sits up and smiles

"What?" I ask confused.

She goes and opens the window and steps outside.

"Marci." I say alarmed.

"Don't worry Annie how do you think we got out of the house to see Finnick before." Jason says.

"You climbed out your sisters window?"

He takes my hand and I see why. There is a small deck right outside the window.

"He doesn't know about this small porch."

"No. He isn't very observant. This room wasn't always a bedroom."

"Come on." Marci says and peers her head back in.

I head out and so does Jason. We grab the tree branch and then climb down the drain pipe. It is only two feet off the ground you could probably jump and still live but it doesn't really matter.

"Marci where are you going?" Jason asks as she walks off.

"Aren't we going to Finnick's house?"

"No Michael will look there and at Annie's."

"Lana?" I ask

"He would probably look there too."

I sigh.

"We can go to my house."

"Annie I just said."

"My old house."

We walk to my old house slowly Jason and Marci make occasional comments but, aren't asking what they really want to they are saving that when we get to my house.

"You're house is pretty close to Lana's." Jason says and we walk past her house.

"Why else do you think we are best friends." I smile. He smiles back.

I walk to the door but it is locked. I find the spare key and open the door and lock it behind me.

"Can guys just wait here for a minute." I pause. "This is the first time I've been here since I won." I say.

"Of course Annie." Jason says. Marc and Jason go to sit on the couch.

I see my hold house. The blue living room with a small couch and two lounge chairs. I remember sitting in front of the fireplace with my father and he would tell me adventures of his day and old sea tales.

I head to the kitchen that is tiled and a has a wavy trim. I see all the pots and pans and remember my mother teaching me how to cook in here.

I go to the stairs and see the red hallway and the stair mats with circle designs which I would always jump on and pretended the floor was lava.

I head to my room and close the door and slump against it.

I breathe in and out and can feel the tears stinging in my eyes as I look around. There is nothing very special about my room. It has a bed, dresser, drawers, and a bathroom off of it. The room doesn't even have my clothes here. I took almost everything when I left. It's the principal being here, is just a reminder of the life I could have had, the life I was supposed to have. Some of the tears spill onto my hands.

I stand up and sit on the bed and look at all the empty shelves. I lie down on the bed and press my knees to my chest. I want to stay up here forever but, can't because I know Marci and Jason are down there waiting to hear about their brother.

I go to the bathroom and splash water on my face and head downstairs and sit and sit on the chair across from them

"So Finnick." I say not knowing how to start.

"He going to be okay?" Marci asks.

"Un yes they pumped his stomach to get rid of all the drugs." I say.

"Overdose?" Jason asks.

"He was still conscious when they brought him in."

Jason nods.

"So he's going to be fine." Marci says

"Technically yes but he's not really himself he um..."

"He still wants to die doesn't he." Marci whispers and her eyes are flooding with tears.

"That's what he said but I'm sure be will be okay."

"There's a hold right?" Jason asks.

"Yes seventy two hours but they said it could be more."

"Can we see him?" Marci asks.

"Visiting hours are over right now. I'm sure you could tomorrow but um he didn't want you to tell me he was in the hospital. He seemed really angry but I knew I had to tell you."

"You did the right thing Annie." Jason says.

"I know."

"Do you know why?" Marci whispers

"No I don't, I'm not going to ask either."

"You shouldn't either Marci." Jason says looking at her firmly.

"Okay." She nods.

"Can I ask you two something?"

"Of course." Marci smiles.

"The last few weeks did you think Finnick was-

"Peculiar." Jason says

"So it wasn't just me." I say.

"When I asked him he would brush it off or get a little angry." Marci says.

"I noticed soon after you two came home from the games." Jason says

"I noticed it after he came back from this first Capitol visit after the games." I say.

"It's probably tied in together." Marci says.

"I guess." I say.

"We should try and figure out what it is so-

"Marci we should just be there for him and not look into anything." Jason says.

"We should see him tomorrow." Marci says and stands up.

"Where are you going Marci?" Jason asks

"Michael is already pissed that Annie came to the house. We shouldn't stay away to long." She says.

"You go ahead just give me a minute." He tells her and she leaves.

"He's going to be angry isn't he?" Jason asks.

"I honestly have no idea Jason." I feel my eyes fill with tears. "He seems so lost. He keeps saying he wants to die." I say and start to cry Jason hugs me.

"It's okay Annie, he's going to be okay." Jason say.

"You didn't see him Jason."

"Is he really that bad?"

"Yes." I say.

He sighs.

"Finnick's been through a lot worse than this Annie you can trust me on that on."

I smile.

"You can trust me when I say my brother will be okay, okay?"

"Okay." I say not fully believing him but hope he is right.


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62**

I head to the hospital to see Finnick I'm not exactly his biggest fan. He didn't like that I saved his life or that I told his brother and sister that he was here but he doesn't send me away.

I head to his room, I can hear someone talking to him. I get closer to the door.

"Finnick sweetheart I love you more than anything."

"I know gran."

"And you tell me everything Finnick, or at least I though."

"Gran-

"Sweetie I just wish you would've told me or someone what you were thinking."

"Gran-

"Finnick listen to me when I tell you this." It is silent.

"Look at me Finnick." She says firmly.

"Your life may be bad sometimes-

"Try all the time." He whispers.

"No it is not Finnick because your eyes are so full of life. Especially for the last few years with Annie in your life."

He scoffs.

"Life is a gift Finnick don't throw it away because you are having a hard time. I know you have a hard life"

"No kidding."

"But that is the life you were dealt. You only get one. Now you're life is harder than the average person but, that doesn't mean you should hurt yourself."

"Gran you don't understand-

"I may not know all the things you go through but my life isn't exactly all rainbows and butterflies. There will always be bad times in your life but there will be good also. Talking with people is better than keeping it all bottled up. Finnick people still need you. I know I do."

He doesn't say anything I feel like I should leave but, I knock on the door anyways.

"Come in." Pearl says.

"Look who it is a Miss. Annie Cresta." She smiles

"Hello Pearl." She walks over and hugs me. Finnick however is looking at the other side of the room.

"Finnick aren't you going to say hello to Annie?"

He turns towards me.

"Hi." He says annoyed.

"Manners Finnick this girl came all the way down here to see you." Pearl says.

"I said hi didn't I." He says.

"It's okay." I say and look at her.

"Yes it's fine. Annie over here is the reason I'm in here."

"Finnick that is not very fair to pin this on Annie." Pearl says.

"I'm not, it's true she called 911 and everything." He says unamused. If I didn't know any better I would be thinking he was thanking me.

"Why do you sound angry by that Finnick?" Pearl says.

"Because I want to-

"Stop do not finish that sentence Finnick or that thought. You're too important to be thinking that." She walks over and kisses his forehead.

"I have to leave now but you're in good hands." She smiles at me and hugs Finnick.

"I love you Finnick." She says

"I love you too Gran." He whispers

"Annie." She says and squeezes my shoulder.

She leaves the room and there is an awkward silence.

"How do you feel today?" I ask him.

"Fine I guess."

I nod and sit on the chair next to him. He usually warms up to me in five minutes until then we sit in an uncomfortable silence.

"Are you okay?" He asks me which catches me off guard.

"I guess." I say.

He looks at me.

"No you're not." He says.

"Finnick-

"Don't lie to me Cresta you're terrible at it." He says.

"You called me Cresta." I smile.

"That's your last name." He says confused.

"That's like your pet name for me." I whisper.

"I guess or would you prefer baby." He teases

"No I cringe at that word."

"I know." He says. "What's wrong though."

"Nothing."

"What did I say about the lying." He smiles.

I try to hold in my tears I know I won't be able to talk without crying.

"I just I don't know." I say and can feel a tear run down my cheek. "I hate that you're mad at me. Even though I think you know that-

Finnick walks over and hugs me. I lean into his body I forgot what this felt like. I start crying, sobbing really because of this. Finnick runs his fingers through my hair and just lets me cry. I grip him tightly. Once I have stopped crying I look up at him and he smiles.

"Do you feel better?" He whispers.

I swallow hard and rest my head on his shoulder.

"No." I say and listen to his breathing and heartbeat. The last time I heard his heart beating it was fast and irregular but now it is steady like a beating drum.

"I love you so much Finnick" I say hoarsely because of the crying.

"I love you too Annie."

"It doesn't seem like you do." I whisper.

"Annie Cresta is that what you think?" He says in his jokey tone but I can tell he sounds nervous.

"Well yes you seem to hate me because I didn't let you kill yourself. You can hate me all you want Finnick but-

"I don't hat you Annie." He whispers.

"Really because you have a strange way of showing that." I mutter.

"I don't hate you and I do love you more than all the words in all the languages can describe."

I smile.

"But Finnick-

I stop talking because Finnick kisses me. I stop though.

"I can't-

"What?"

"Not while I'm all crying and gross."

He smiles and kisses my forehead.

"I don't care." I lean into his chest and he wraps his arms around me.

"Well I do, aren't you mad at me anyways?" I sniffle.

"I don't think so it's just-

"You just told your grandmother that I was the reason you were in here like a smug bastard."

"Watch that language Cresta." I can hear the smile in his voice. "I know but I still feel like I want to die."

I look at him

"Please let me finish." He says. I nod.

"I think I have felt this for a long time and finally I popped liked a water balloon going everywhere. I couldn't handle it anymore so I decided to do something about it. As most people have pointed out it was not the right thing but that doesn't change how I feel." He swallows hard.

"What do you feel?" I ask him.

"I don't really know anymore." He whispers. "I have that wanting to die feeling but I don't think I would try something again."

I sigh.

"Finnick Odair." I whisper.

"Yes Annie Cresta?"

"Do you know how many people would be heartbroken if you died?"

"A fair few." He smirks "There would only be a handful of the mourners I would care about." He says and kisses my forehead.

I grip him tighter.

"I can't lose you Finnick." I whisper into his chest.

He kisses the top of my head.

"I'm sorry Annie."

"You don't have to apologize but please Finnick please talk to someone, anyone before resulting to this again."

"Okay."

"Promise?" I ask and hold out my pinky.

He smiles.

"Promise." He says and our pinkies interlock.

"You know you can cut off this pinky now." Finnick says with a smile.

"I think I've heard that somewhere before." I tease.

"You don't say." He smiles and kisses me.

* * *

Finnick's been in the hospital for four days They didn't let him out him yet because they know he has been saying he wants to die. I think after a few more days they will let him out.

He seems better he isn't angry at me anymore and seems more like himself. However I'm still worried about him. Finnick acts for a living so he could get that feeling again and not tell anyone. I have been wondering how long he has been feeling this before I started to notice he was acting differently. I almost want to cry at the thought.

I don't want Finnick to hurt himself or kill himself. It was so hard seeing him like that because he was begging for death. I almost wanted to say you're allowed to because it's what you want because it seems like it would be torture to keep you alive.

I'm walking back to my house from the hospital. If I could I would stay with him the whole day but I know Marci and Jason want alone time with him and I will give it to them

I walk up the steps and open the door. I head for the kitchen but before I get there I stop dead in my tracks and can feel all the blood draining from my face.

"Hello Miss. Cresta it's been awhile hasn't it?." I see a crooked smile form on the lips of our president.


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 63**

_What is he doing here? Does it have to do with Finnick? _I close my eyes _Don't panic Annie._

If this was about Finnick I'm sure he would just see him in the hospital. Unless he has an ulterior motive, maybe to hurt Finnick and he knows doing something to me would do just the trick. I feel my palms starting to sweat because I know this is probably the answer.

I want to say something but my voice has gone dry and all the words stick in my throat.

"Come sit next to Miss. Cresta he says and pulls out the chair next to him. I walk and sit in the chair and he pushes me back in.

"Miss. Cresta I was wondering if you could help me with something?"

"I can try." I whisper.

"Good." He smiles. "I was wondering the whereabouts of Mr. Odair. Do you know where he is?"

"He's um in the hospital." I say.

"Oh dear. What is he doing there?" He smiles I think he knows why he is there but I will play along.

"Drug overdose." I say.

"Was this an accident." He smiles. I could lie but I'm sure he knows that Finnick tried I kill himself.

"No it was on purpose." I whisper.

He smiles

"I see. Well he isn't the first victor who has tired that Miss Cresta. He did it before if I recall. He went right back to work though." He pauses. "Are you aware what Mr. Odair does when he is in the Capitol?"

"The same thing you asked of me on my Victory Tour." I say.

"That's correct. The process of this is very elaborate and would take too long to explain so I'm going to put it in layman's terms. People who want him pay for him. The money goes towards the government. Everyone is happy-

I open my mouth to object but soon shut it because I know Finnick isn't happy about that.

Snow smiles probably picking up on this

"Everyone is happy but, Mr. Odair did not see the people he was supposed to today or yesterday which means they are very unhappy. Do you know what unhappy people do for me Miss. Cresta?"

"You probably don't get their money." I say.

"Exactly I need that money Miss. Cresta." He smiles.

I look at him confused.

"You want some of my victor winnings or something?" I ask confused.

"Oh no that is not what I wanted, it would not be nearly enough anyways."

He looks off in the distance and I don't know what he wants.

"Finnick's sister is very darling isn't she?"

"Uhh y-yes." I say. I think he is implying he is going to kill her.

"I think so to and so does Finnick correct?"

"I-I you can't hurt her."

"Why do you say that?" He smiles.

"I know what you're implying and I know why Finnick does it... so you won't care anyone he loves."

"Good I'm glad he told you this, it makes this situation a lot easier." He smiles "I would go after you but, I can't because you're a victor even though I doubt most of the citizens would notice if you were gone. They don't see you when the games go on. for obvious reasons. Everyone did think you were stunning though. I'm sure if they were just reminded." He places a strand of hair behind my ear. "They would love to see you."

"No." I say firmly.

"It wasn't a question." He says

"I thought-

"That was only if Finnick would do _whatever_ I asked."

"But he's in the hospital he wanted to leave but they wouldn't let him."

"Well maybe he should have thought of that before he tried to commit suicide."

"But I-

"You will come to the Capitol with me until Finnick comes to _retrieve_ you."

"But-

"Annie the harder you fight me the worse it will be." He says firmly and I shiver.

"I-

He grabs my hand and takes me to the train station I don't even try to fight him mostly because I'm too afraid.

He puts me on the train.

"What are you going to to do me?" I ask shaking.

"You'll see. All in good time." He says and puts me in a bedroom and locks the door.

I head to the bed and my mind starts raising and I can't breathe. I'm so terrified that I black out because my body can't handle it.

* * *

The train goes right to President Snow's mansion. He takes me to his office where I see lots of papers on the desk.

"Sit." He says and motions towards the chair.

There is a strange thing about President Snow. He never sounds threatening but you know he could destroy everything you cared about by the look in his eyes.

He hands me a piece of paper which probably has fifty names on it. I think I know what these are but, I don't want to accept it.

"This is just for today?" I say. My voice is a mixture of disgust and surprise.

"No that was the past two days." He says writing something.

"Twenty five people a day." I say with a mix or rage and disgust. I didn't think he saw this many people when he came here. If this is only for two days that means he must have seen hundreds of people over the years. It also means that Capitol people must have buckets and buckets of money to waste. Especially since everyone I have talk to about this makes it mean like Finnick is very, very expensive.

"For this time yes, you are correct Miss. Cresta." He looks up and smiles

"All these woman in two days but-

"Oh Miss Cresta most of those clients are just meet and greets others are well." He smiles "A _home_ visit."

"I see." I mutter. "Why are you giving this to me?" I ask.

"Because you're going to be seeing them." He says nonchalantly not bothering to look at me.

"But they don't want me."

He sets down his pen and looks at me and smiles.

"Actually Miss. Cresta while you were on the train I called all of them and they agreed it would be fair. I moved around Finnick's schedule and-

"No." I say even though I know it isn't a choice.

"I'm not asking Miss. Cresta you don't want someone to get hurt do you?" He asks.

"I don't." I swallow hard and my mouth goes dry all of a sudden and I'm getting that drowning feeling. President Snow is saying something but I can't hear him. I start rocking back and forth and place my hands over my temples.

"Leave me alone." I whisper over and over again. I feel a pinch in my arm and everything going black.

I wake up and am in a room, a nice room.

I hear heels on a floor clicking and am paralyzed with fear. I see a strange Capitol woman. She comes over and hands me a tray of food.

"What is this? What are you going to do to me?" I ask but she doesn't answer maybe she can't or maybe she was ordered not to. I'm afraid to eat this but I am hungry.

I realize I am in a regular room probably still in Snow's mansion but there are all kinds of strange things in here. I'm starting to think he is going torture me.

* * *

I sit up on the bed and rock back and forth. Everyday nothing happens. I don't even see someone to give me food they just have the device to order food.

I'm getting nervous that no one is coming and I'm going to die here. I know Snow said I could leave once Finnick came to _retrieve_ me but, I'm losing hope.

I don't even know how long I've been here because there is no clock and the windows offer light but I can't see outside. It could have only been a few hours but I have a feeling it has been much longer.

I can't sleep because when I close my eyes I just end up worrying and either start shaking, crying, or screaming. The only time my mind shuts off is when I pass out from the fear. When that happens I wake up with a headache.

I press my knees to my chest and start crying.

I hear a noise and open my eyes.

"Don't cry Annie." I hear and back away.

I see someone I don't recognize. They are obviously from the Capitol what with their blue hair and sliver lips. I am so starved for human contact that I subconsciously move towards them but when I get there they vanish.

"No." I whisper and cry. I cry over a person I don't know and a person who probably isn't even real. I need to talk to someone so badly. I think I would settle for President Snow at this point.

I'm being deprived of natural human rights. I never realized how important simple small talk was. In this room I'm living in my mind because there is nothing else I can do.

I'm starting to question if there actually is an outside to this room or if it was all something my mind made up. I laugh at the thought.

My eyes close and I go to sleep.

I jolt awake screaming and crying and am covered in sweat. I press my hands to my forehead desperately craving someone to tell me it will be alright or someone to hug me.

I start crying harder when I realize that will not happen. I'm start to question everything. I then see blood splatter in front of me. People are just coming into the room and blowing up.

"No." I cry out over and over again.

I get up and head to the bathroom and turn on the shower and let the water pour on me. This is the only other form of contact I have had. I press my knees to my chest and cry.

My mind is starting to slip down the rabbit hole deeper every hour. I'm starting to lose my grip on reality and the feeling of being connected to the rest of the world. All I feel is alone I press my hands to my ears and start crying.

"No one is coming for you." I say and start sobbing.

"I just want to die." I whisper. "I need to end my thoughts. I want to die." I whisper again and again. I start laughing at the thought for some reason.

I'm losing my mind, what was left of it anyways.

* * *

I have no idea how long it has been and I don't really care anymore. The only thing I do now is lie in the bed. My muscles are stiff but I don't really care. I can sleep easily now it is the only thing I can do to escape my thoughts.

I sit up and start crying and put my hands in my hair.

I only want to get out of here to see people, anyone. I would prefer it to me my mom or Finnick but if I saw someone, anyone I think I would rejoice. More tears stream down my face and I start screaming.

"Please let me out of here!" I scream.

I do this all the time but no one ever comes. I'm sobbing and whimpering now.

I wish I knew how long I have been here.

My mind never turns off and when I am thinking it is just everything I have done wrong in my life or something I should've done differently.

I'm starting to feel myself deteriorating into nothingness. I am losing all control.

I bang my head against the wall and start laughing. I laugh sometimes for no good reason. I don't know why and don't care enough to figure out why.

I press my knees to my chest again and rock back and forth.

"Just kill me already!" I shout "Just do it I don't know how much longer I can take his!" I sob.

I lie back down and whimper.

"I just want to die. I just want to die." I sob until I fall asleep.

* * *

I'm scared because I feel like my brain is dying.

I start laughing for some reason that I can't explain.

"I want to die just kill me please!" I shout because I don't know how much longer I can take this.

"Please just let me out let me out or kill me! I don't care anymore!" I say and start laughing like a crazy person. I think I am now though I don't even care about it. I don't even care if Finnick is coming or not I just want this to end. I just want to die.

I see the door open and the light stream in.

"Annie, come." Snow says like I'm a dog.

I back away from him and not just because it is Snow but because I can feel myself shaking.

"I won't hurt you Miss Cresta someone has finally come to get you."

I bang my head on the side of the wall.

"Don't you want to leave Miss Cresta?"

I don't say anything I just start crying.

He sighs.

"Fine Finnick will just have to get you himself." He says and closes the door.

I lie back down on the bed and cry it's been almost an hour and no one has come. I'm thinking that Snow coming in here wasn't real.

I hear the door open and my body stiffens. I pretend to be asleep even though I know it is useless. Someone sits next to me and strokes my hair. It is gentle I know that feeling. I know who that touch belongs too. I can also smell the fresh sea air on him.

I open my eyes and hug him instantly.

"Finnick." I whisper because that is all I can do from all the screaming.

Finnick has a strange look in his eyes and dark circles underneath them. I wonder when the last time he slept was.

"Don't worry Annie. You're safe now. You get to go home."

Finnick is still talking but I don't care. I get lost in his warm body and his smell of the sea air. I close my eyes and feel safe. He keeps stroking my hair and I feel I could fall asleep.

"Annie. Annie. Annie." Finnick says frantically.

I start to get worried all of a sudden.

"Leave me alone!" I shout afraid.

"Annie it's Finnck, I'm here to take you home." He says gently.

"Stop!" I shout and he takes his hands off of me.

The door opens again and Finnick leaves.

After ten minutes the door opens and I back away from the person and lean against the wall.

"Annie it's Finnick, okay? I won't hurt you." He says and takes a few more steps.

"Just leave me here, just let me die!" I shout.

"Annie you're not going to die." He takes a a few more steps. "You're safe and I'm here to take you back home." He takes a few more steps.

I try and back away but I'm already against the wall.

"Stop please!" I whimper and Finnick stops talking and looks at me sadly.

Finnick looks near the door and I see a figure.

"What did you do to her?" Finnick asks.

"Nothing absolutely nothing." I can tell Snow is smiling.

"You can't keep someone locked up for longer than a day by themselves or else they will go insane! That causes severe psychological damage! She might-" Finnick shouts.

"Well it shouldn't have taken you two weeks to get here then." Snow says.

_Two weeks is that all it was?_ I think to myself it felt like a million lifetimes how could it have been only two weeks.

I put my hands on my face and start laughing like an escaped mental patient causing both of them to stop talking and look at me.

"She has been laughing at nothing for a few days. I myself was getting concerned, I thought I would have nothing left to give you but an insane shell of a body but I don't think she is completely gone. After all you loved her before you can still love her now." Snow says and I can hear him leaving.

Finnick takes a few more steps after what feels like ten minutes he kneels in front of me and slowly moves his hand to my cheek.

"Annie." He whispers. He runs his fingers through my hair and kisses my forehead.

"Finnick?" I whisper

"Yes it's me Annie." He says and keeps running his fingers through my hair.

"I'm afraid."

"Well we are going back home, we have a train waiting for us. It will be better then."

"No it won't." I feel the tears drip onto my hands.

"Why not?" He asks gently.

I don't respond.

"Annie." He says and I look up and can see the pain in his eyes.

It's silent for a long time. Finnick probably doesn't know what to say.

"Do you want to know where the real hell is hiding Finnick?" I ask with tears streaming down my face.

He doesn't respond maybe he doesn't know how.

"It's inside your head." I say and start sobbing.

"Annie." He whispers and hugs me tightly.

I don't care that Finnick is taking me back home. What happened here will probably never be reversed. Solitary confinement is considered one of the worse choices of torture because it drives people to insanity. I wasn't completely sane to begin with, but now even I can't deny that I'm crazy.

Finnick grabs my hand and takes me back to Snow's office.

"Good you were able to get her to leave it only took forty five minutes too." President Snow smiles.

I'm gripping Finnick's hand so hard I think I'm going to break it but don't care and he doesn't notice.

"Yes sir." Finnick says.

"I'm glad we could resolve this problem peacefully."

"Peacefully? Peacefully!" Finnick shouts.

"That's what I said." Snow smiles.

"You think this is peaceful look at her." Finnick says and motions towards me.

"I don't see a scratch on her. I didn't break my promise of not hurting her. I just put her in a room and left her alone." He smiles.

"That is hurting her. You can't leave someone alone that long it causes psychological damage. She was in there for two weeks she never might be able to return normally in society. You can't do this you-

"Mr. Odair please calm down." He says.

"No! You hurt her beyond repair."

"Are you saying you no longer care for her that you no longer love her because she is further gone than before?" Snow smiles and I look at Finnick I want to know his answer.

"Of course not."

"Then I don't see the problem."

"Well, when is the last time she was around someone or showered or-

"Mr. Odair as I said earlier you should've gotten here sooner and maybe she wouldn't be as far gone." Snow says.

"But they wouldn't let me leave I-

"Well maybe you should've thought of the repercussions of your actions Mr. Odair. I hope this lesson comes in mind next time you try to kill yourself and I know there will be a next time."

"What makes you say that?"

"You think you are the first victor to do this? You do it once you do it again and you're not going to stop until you're dead." He smiles

Finnick shakes his head.

"You're terrible."

"I've been called worse. To be honest this was not my ideal choice. I was going to have her see the clients you didn't, but she started having a fit so I put her away safely so you could come and get her." He smiles.

I start laughing for some reason again.

"Why is she laughing then or crying or-

"That is not my concern, she is still alive that was all you said I had to do. Besides her mental state was always a bit questionable how do you know she wasn't always like this?"

"Because I know Annie she wasn't like this."

"Miss. Cresta do you have anything to add."

"I want to go home." I say.

He smiles

"Well my dear a train is waiting for you."

"And I never want to come back." I say and the room seems to have gotten very quite and small.

"Miss Cresta I'm sorry I can't grant you that."

I start crying.

"Just let me. I deserve that much. Please don't make me come back here! Please! Please!" I shout and start crying.

"Annie." Finnick says and it isn't a comforting tone it's a warning tone as if to say stop this.

President Snow smiles crookedly.

"I can't do that you're a victor and people expect you to be there."

"But you can't do this! Finnick told me I was supposed to be safe and you can't do that I was sexually and psychically assaulted you locked me in here and-

"Mr. Odair I want to talk to you alone. Miss Cresta please wait outside." He says. His tone is calm but he looks angry.

"But-

"Annie go outside." Finnick says he sounds worried.

"Fin-" I can't even get his whole name out.

"Annie go outside." He says and this time I do. I sit on the bench, there is a guard but I press my ear to the door anyways.

"Mr. Odair the only reason that girl is still alive right now is because of you, but if you can't keep her in line I will not hesitate to kill her."

"Sir she is traumatized I'm sure-

"It's not just the talking back to me Mr. Odair that is understandable after all you do it all the time. It is because of how far gone she is. I have kept her hidden so people can't see but this is getting dangerous-

"But-

"Do not interrupt me Mr. Odair."

"Yes sir." He responds.

"As I was saying this is getting dangerous, victors are supposed to be seen as smiling and nice to paint the picture that you all love it. Even though most of you hate the title. The rest of the world cannot know this or else _problems_ will occur and we don't want that now do we?"

"No sir."

"That's what I thought." He says

"Sir if I may."

"Yes?" He asks.

"If you don't make her come here then-

"All victors must come here unless they are on their death bed it's a certain _requirement_ for winning."

"Just another way to show you own us."

"Exactly." I can tell he is smiling "If I don't let her go then they can all act like her and I think that Talia will think she can get away with it as well."

"I don't think-

"I killed her husband when she didn't do what I asked. Do you wish to know why Miss. Talia is still alive?"

"I don't really care aren't we talking about Annie-

"The only reason she is still alive is because of her darling daughter." Snow says

I don't think Snow is keeping Talia alive for a good reason he has a plan for Talia's daughter.

"What are you implying?" Finnick asks.

"She is almost twelve that makes her eligible and it has been a long time since a victors child has been in the arena."

"But Talia-

"She didn't follow orders, clients always complained that she wouldn't follow their requests. I did what I said I would from the beginning of this _contract_ you remember don't you Mr. Odair.

"Do as they say and no one will die."

"Correct she obviously forgot about that part which is why she is suffering, the ones from Six are all drug addicts but they can at least smile. If your Annie doesn't go then they will all think that. We can't have that." He says

I swallow hard and it is silent for a few minutes.

"Do you understand Mr. Odair." He says

"Yes but-

"If you're saying but then you don't understand." He says angrily.

"I do it's just-

"No there is no but or it's just it is a yes or no response do you understand?"

"Yes sir." He says.

"Very good is there anything else Mr. Odair?"

"No sir."

"Good expect a call from me later for an update on your Capitol schedule. I suggest you get going that is my personal train and I can't have you enabling it forever." He says

"Yes sir." Finnick says

"Oh and Mr. Odair you aren't the first victor to try and kill themselves and you won't be the last but if you wish to do it again may I make a suggestion."

Finnick doesn't response probably because he is in shock.

"Make a hangmans knot and hang yourself. You are one of the few who know how to make the knot and that has a 99% rate of working." He says

"Yes sir." Finnick whispers

"Alright you are free to leave." He says.

Finnick starts to walk and I look at my hands to make it look like I wasn't listening.

"Annie let's go home." He says and takes my hand. He sounds angry.

"Finnick I'm-

"Shh it's okay." He says.

We get on the train and sit on the sofa.

"It's okay Annie." He whispers.

"You're mad at me." I whisper.

"No I'm mad at him what you did was completely justified." He says and kisses my forehead. "Do you want anything, food, water, a shower?"

"I just want to be with you." I whisper.

He nods

"Okay"

I start shaking.

"Annie it's okay you're safe here."

I start to do a mixture of laughing and crying causing Finnick to give me a strange look but he keeps comforting me.

"It's okay Annie." Finnick says and kisses my forehead and strokes my hair. "When is the last time you slept Annie?"

"Not soundly for a long time." I whisper.

"Well you can tonight because I'm here. I'm sure it will make you feel better too."

"No I can't. I can't fall asleep." I whisper.

He pulls me closer to him and I lean into him and he strokes my hair. I fall asleep quickly.

I wake up with arms around me and scream.

The grasp loosens.

"Annie, Annie. Shhh it's alright. You're safe."

"Finnick?" I ask confused.

"Yes it's me Annie."

"No I'm still in the Capitol in that room!"

"No Annie you're not. I got you today you're safe here. You're safe with me." He says. "Annie I'm so sorry." He says.

I don't know if this is really Finnick but I'm going to ask anyways.

"Why are you sorry?" I ask.

"Because this is my fault. You were held in the Capitol because of me. I'm so sorry Annie. I can't imagine what Snow did to you but it's all my fault." I can feel tears drip onto me. "I'm sorry Annie. I'm sorry." Is all he is saying. I still don't know if this is the real Finnick but I don't want to leave him crying especially if it is the real one.

"I'm sorry Annie I'm so-

I kiss him and don't doubt for a minute that this is the real Finnick.

"Don't apologize so much Finnick." I whisper. "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault."

"Yes it was, if I never would've tried to kill myself-

"Shhh." I say. "Finnick." I say and look at him. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"But Annie-

"The only thing you're doing wrong is apologizing so much." I whisper.

He hugs me tightly.

"I love you so much." He says

"I know that's why you feel guilty. I love you too." I say.

He nods and holds me for awhile.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"Yes?"

"How long was I there?" I ask.

Finnick swallows hard but doesn't say anything.

"Finnick?" I ask I sound worried. I wonder how long it was. I couldn't count the days because the room was dark. Was it a whole month?

"Almost two weeks."

"Oh." I say.

"They wouldn't let me leave. It probably wasn't helping that I kept having anxiety attacks of what they were doing to you."

"Finnick." I say and hug him tightly. "I'm okay now."

"Why do you keep whispering then?"

"I was screaming." I mutter.

"Annie." He says.

"Shh. Don't you dare say sorry again Finnick Odair." He nods and I kiss his cheek. Then a thought occurs to me.

"Wait how did you know where I was?" I ask.

I don't remember Snow leaving a note and even if he did Finnick wouldn't hard gotten it because he was in the hospital.

"The flowers." He says.

"Flowers?" I ask.

"President Snow sent me roses while I was in there. It had a note, here."

He digs something out of his pocket and hands it to me.

_Hello Mr. Odair I heard about this tragic incident and wanted to say that I'm glad you're alright. However I'm sure you are aware that this incident caused you to not see clients. Actions like these can not go unnoticed. When you are **available** you might want to go to the Capitol to retrieve something."_

_President Cornelius Snow._

I swallow hard.

"How did you know it was me?" I ask.

"When no one knew where you were I figured he took you."

"Did someone tell my mom?"

"Lana did."

I nod and hug him for awhile.

"Finnick I want to say something before I forget."

"Okay." He says confused.

"I don't know what it's going to be like from now on." I shallow hard. "I'm already confused about everything. I just want you to know that I will always know and remember my love for you." I say.

"Annie I love you too but nothing is going to happen."

"Yes it is Finnick while I was in there it felt like I was turning into nothingness. I felt like I was deteriorating. I started hearing and seeing all these terrible things. I wanted to die just to end the terribleness of it. I know I'm not alright and there's nothing wrong with admitting it. I'm just afraid and if you want to be away from me because I'm-

"Annie stop."

"But-

"Nothing and I repeat nothing is going to keep me away from you. I would rather die than be away from you."

"But Finnick I think-

"Shhh." He says and strokes my hair. "I don't want you to finish that thought because it isn't true Annie. I love you I'm going to be with you forever or as long as you'll have me and don't think differently." He says and I can feel myself crying.

"You're okay Annie why don't you try to just sleep. It will make you feel better." He says and kisses my cheek. He keeps running his finger through my hair and I can feel my eyelids starting to get heavy.


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 64**

I'm sitting on my porch twirling a loose string on my pants. Then I start laughing all of a sudden.

_I close my eyes nothing is funny try to control yourself._ I think to myself.

I feel someone sit next to me and I stop laughing. I feel arms wrap around me and I see my mother.

I hug her back.

"Mom." I whisper.

"You're okay Annie." She says and kisses my cheek.

"I know." I say angrily. Whenever I see someone that is the greeting 'I get your okay Annie' or 'everything is going to be alright'. I know it is but you telling me it every single time makes me feel like they don't believe it, like they are trying to convince themselves.

* * *

I wake up in a cold sweat from the nightmare I just had. I'm gasping for air from the fear. I hear a strange noise and cover my ears and rock back and forth.

"Leave me alone." I whisper but the noise gets louder "Leave me alone!" I shout and hear my door open.

"Annie it's alright." My mother says and hugs me.

I start sobbing.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" I shout.

"It's okay Annie. It will all be okay soon." She hugs me and rubs my back.

I whimper and the strange noise goes away after awhile.

"It's okay Annie."

"I guess"

I swallow hard again and sit up.

"Where are you going?" She asks as I get out I bed.

"Bathroom" I whisper and she nods.

I head to the bathroom and splash water on my face. I look at myself. I see that my eyes are bloodshot from all the crying and lack of sleep. The dark circles are more noticeable than before and my eyes also have a strange look in them that wasn't there before.

"The look of a crazy person." I whisper.

I stopped denying that I was crazy because I know I am. It makes it a lot simpler when you can agree with what everyone is saying about you. Maybe I will join the other victors and start calling myself crazy Cresta too.

I hear a loud noise and put my hands over my ears and sit on the floor and rock back and forth and laugh little.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out.

"Keep it together Annie." I mutter and take my hands off my ears and wipe the tears from my face.

"You're okay." I say and close my eyes. Even though I can still feel the tears streaming out.

I don't like being alone for too long after the solitary confinement but I don't like being around others by the way they treat me. It's like I don't have a safe place anymore. It's not just the Capitol where everyone is talking about me or looking at me strangely it's everywhere.

I bang my head on the wall.

"Stop it." I mutter to myself. "It's okay." I whisper.

It's like my brain takes control of body sometimes and I don't like it.

I want it to be like before. Before The Hunger Games.

"Well that's not going to happen accept it and move on."

I get up and head back to bed. My mom hugs me quickly.

"Annie you know maybe you will feel better if-

"No." I say because I know what she is going to say. She is going to say if you see Finnick.

"But Annie he can help you more than you can. I'm not saying you have to stay the night with him but maybe just see him again like before."

I have been home for a month and stopped seeing Finnick because I couldn't take the guilt in his eyes because he keeps thinking this is his fault.

"No I don't know how to deal with that." I whisper.

"Annie you love him."

"I know but I can't deal with him. That look in his eyes." I can feel my eyes filling with tears.

"Annie." She strokes my hair. "I think it will help you."

"I know it will but I can't see him like that."

"Annie." She kisses my forehead. "When he comes here he-

"Mom, I don't want to know what he looks like." I say because I know I won't like the answer.

"Okay." She says and kisses my forehead and stays with me until I fall asleep.

* * *

I'm upstairs in my room trying to find serenity which I doubt will ever happen again. I hear a knock on the front door but don't care who is there.

I can hear someone walk upstairs. My mom opens the door and sits on the bed and strokes my hair.

"Annie, Finnick is here." She whispers.

"Tell him to go away."

"But Annie-

"Tell him to go away." I say again.

"He really wants to see you Annie. He doesn't look okay I think-

"Tell him to go away!" I shout. I'm sure it was loud enough for him to hear downstairs.

My mother looks at me sadly

"Okay." She says and kisses my forehead.

I hear her walk down the stairs and hear my mother saying something to Finnick. He is almost begging her to let him in but she reluctantly sends him away.

I want to see Finnick I do but I can't deal with the look in his eyes. It isn't pain or sorrow it's guilt. I remember what he said on the train '_It's my fault Annie because I tried to kill myself. You got taken because I couldn't leave the hospital. This is my fault._' No matter how much I told him it wasn't I couldn't get that look to go away.

He probably thinks I don't want to see him for that reason but it's because I can't deal with that look in his eyes. I don't want him to feel guilty forever. If he stops being around me I don't think he will. Even though him being away from me isn't very helpful. The nightmares are worse than ever and I see things everyday. I may wake up from a nightmare but they never go away. My whole life is a nightmare now. Finnick can make everything better but I can't see him like this.

* * *

A few hours later there is another knock my mother comes in and says it is Lana and I let her in.

She comes in and shakes my shoulder.

"Get your ass up I'm taking you out of this house."

I shake my head.

"I wasn't asking Annie." She smiles.

"You're just going to take me to him."

"You caught me but Annie he isn't alright he needs you."

"I can't see him." I whisper barely getting the words out because I want to see him more than anything but can't deal with that look.

"Why not?"

"Because of his eyes! His tone of voice! I think if it's best if he just forgets about me." I whisper

"Annie-

"Can you tell him-

She shakes her head

"No if you want to talk to him you should do it yourself."

"But Lana!"

"No! You're killing him Annie!" She shouts catching me off guard.

"What do you mean?"

"Doesn't eat, doesn't sleep, he thinks you don't want to see him anymore because of what Snow did to you. He is consumed by guilt. You didn't see him in the hospital either Annie the reason it took so long for him to be discharged was because he kept having anxiety attacks of what Snow was doing to you. If you don't want to see him anymore fine. You should tell him why though."

"But that is why, he is guilty and he had the look in his eyes as and he will the rest of his life because-

"So what?" Lana says.

"Well I don't want to be the one who is making him feel guilty for the rest of his life."

"It's better than what you are doing now Annie believe me."

"But-

"No Annie I'm usually on your side but this time you're wrong." She says

"Go away." I say.

"Fine I will." She says and storms out of my house my mom come in a few minutes later.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything." I whisper and start crying.

* * *

I hear a loud bang and wake up. I turn to the clock and see it is midnight. I sigh and hear my door open probably my mom.

"I'm okay." I roll over and don't see my mom but Finnick.

"Finnick what are you doing here?" I ask.

"I'm sorry Annie I had to see you."

"So you broke into my house?"

"You broke into mine." He smiles

I understand what Lana meant now. He has dark circles they are so dark it looks like it could be makeup. He looks skinner too it was probably only a month of me not seeing him but it looks like more. He still has the guilt in his eyes but he also looks a bit deranged.

"Finnick I don't want to see you."

"I'm not leaving Annie." He says.

"I don't want to see you." I say.

"Well I do and I'm not leaving without an answer." He says he sounds angry.

I don't respond.

"I love you Annie more than anything and I know it is just a privilege to be near you let alone have my heart broken by you but I need to know why. I think I deserve that Annie."

I swallow hard.

"Go away." I whisper

"Annie." He says frustrated.

"Go away." I say again.

He sighs

"No."

"Go away Finnick. I don't want to see you please just leave." I say.

"No." He says again.

"Get out of my house Finnick! I don't want to see you!" I end up shouting.

"I'm not going anywhere Annie." He says.

"Please Finnick just leave don't make this harder than it already is."

He laughs.

"Don't make it harder than it already is."

"Yes."

"You're the one making it hard Annie I just want an answer you just send me away that's not fair Annie. It's not fair!" Finnick shouts.

"Finnick I-

My door opens and I see my mother.

"Annie I heard yelling are you... Oh Finnick I'll just-

"Make him leave." I say.

"Annie I think-

"I don't care what you think just make him go away!" I shout and start to sob I get up off the bed and lock myself in the bathroom.

It's silent for awhile I haven't heard anything but, I know they are both sill there.

"Finnick I think you should go home." My mom says.

He doesn't say anything and it is silent again.

"Finnick she doesn't blame you and isn't mad at you." My mom says gently.

He doesn't say anything.

"I think she doesn't want to see you because she feels bad about everything. She feels sorry for you."

"For me?" He says confused.

"For making you feel guilty."

"But-

"I know." My mom says.

The both think I'm being irrational but they don't understand.

"Can I just get ten minutes with her."

It's silent for what seems like forever.

"I'm sorry Finnick I can't-

"I understand." He says and leaves my room.

I hear my mother sigh.

"She's starting to break that boy." My mom says with regret in her voice. She wants Finnick to talk to me the only reason she isn't is because I'm asking her not to and crying.

"Why can't you just stay away." I whisper and cry myself to sleep.


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 65**

I wake up and am on the bathroom floor. I leave it and head downstairs my mom doesn't say anything about Finnick coming over last night and just gives me breakfast.

"I have to leave today sweetie do you want to call Lana and-

"I can be by myself." I mutter.

"Okay because if you don't-

"I can be by myself." I say again.

"Okay." She hugs me and kisses my forehead.

"If you need something please call me or Lana." It sounds like she wants to add or Finnick but she doesn't.

I watch her leave the room and I sit on the couch and file my nails. I get out the nail polish and decide I should do that. I haven't painted my nails since I was a little kid. I decide to go with a nice blue color.

I'm almost done with the right hand when I hear something at the front porch.

I close my eyes.

"It's not real."

I open my eyes and go back to my nails after they are finished I get the silver to make swirl designs.

"Just like people in the Capitol." I mutter. "They would have to be six inches then." I smile.

Once I'm satisfied I have them dry and start to make lunch. I then get a book and start to read it.

I keep hearing a banging noise on my front porch but don't care enough to open it. Mostly because I'm afraid that I won't find anything.

My mom won't be coming home for the next few days so I know it will be okay.

I hear a knocking on my door early afternoon the next day.

I don't open it so she just storms in.

"Annie?" Lana asks.

"Hey Lana." I say and hug her.

"I have a question for you."

"Yes?"

"Why do you have a whole garden on your front porch?"

"What?" I ask confused.

"You didn't see it yet?" She says surprised.

"See what?"

She grabs my arm and pulls me outside and I see what she meant. Almost my whole front porch is covered with lilies. I only remember seeing one a few days ago and I thought the wind just blew it over here or something. I don't think that's true now though because there are probably hundreds.

"Aren't these your favorite?" Lana asks picking one up.

"I do like them yes." I say.

"I wish I had a florist dump this many flowers on my front porch."

"Yeah a florist." I mutter.

I know these flowers didn't just magically appear out of thin air and Lana does too.

* * *

I'm going to go for a walk to get out of the house. I haven't been able to walk around by myself for awhile. Mostly because I keep screaming or shouting or laughing.

I open my door and see more flowers.

"Jesus Christ." I whisper. I would go over to his house but that would just open a whole bunch of things I don't want to deal with.

I walk around Victors Village. I'm not ready to go into town, not just by myself, but at all.

I kick the stone walkway and realize this place has more houses than I realized.

"I doubt there would ever be this many victors." I mutter.

I am back at the entrance and see the dock I usually sit at and head over and take my seat.

I pick up a rock and skip it across the water. I watch it as it ripples across the smooth water.

"Six." I say counting how many times I got it to jump.

I look at the scenery, it is a beautiful day in District Four. I almost feel normal again. I look at the sky for awhile until I feel it brush against me.

I close my eyes and touch it with my fingertips. I yank the chain from my neck and hold it in front of me. The sun is gleaming off the locket.

"Get rid of it." I whisper and can feel my eyes filling with tears.

"I want to forget it. I want to forget him." I whisper and a tear rolls down my cheek.

"I should throw it in the pond." I whisper.

I open and close the locket as I try to make my decision on what I should do. I close the locket forcefully when I think I have made up my mind. I'm about to toss it in when I see a carefully folded paper on my leg.

I sigh.

"I should toss this too." I whisper.

I twirl the paper round and round.

"I should read it one more time." I whisper.

_Annie, I figured I wouldn't be able to find the right words to say to your face so I wrote it down to make it easier. I want to say sorry first for everything. I should have just let you spend your few hours away from me without trying to question it or find a reason. I shouldn't have keep perusing it especially since I was hurting you. I know you want to spend time away from me but, I can't stay away from you. However, I still want to fulfill your wish so I will admire you from afar like a stalker. I might even hide in a bush but it doesn't matter as long as I am close with you._

_I know you think that you love me too much and that you spend too much time with me but, I don't care and I'm happy to be that person for you. If that is your only crutch in life I don't think it is a bad thing. Annie you are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. I need you even though I suspect you don't believe that. Annie, when I go to the Capitol I know I will be alright because I get to see your beautiful face again._

_You make me forget about bad things that have happened and I know I love you more than I should but, I don't care. I called you crazy which I am truly sorry for. I can't take that back. Besides I think the only crazy person here is me especially when I'm with you because when I'm with you I forget how to breathe or think or do anything really. All I know is that I'm with you and I don't want to leave. All I know is that I need you._

I can feel the tears rolling down my face.

"I shouldn't have read it."

I put my hands over my face and cry.

"I'm breaking your heart and crushing your spirit Finnick Odair. The saddest part is I'm doing the same to myself."

I twirl the locket and put it in my shorts pocket.

"I don't want to get rid of you not yet." I whisper not sure if I'm referring to the locket or Finnick.

* * *

I head upstairs to go to sleep my head hits the pillow, I try to go to sleep but I keep thinking of what Finnick wrote in that note. It's like a shot in the heart even though he wrote it to end that argument it still hurts especially since he talked about how much he loved me.

I put the pillow on my face as the tears roll into the pillow.

I open my eyes and I can still feel the wetness on my face from the tears. I wipe them off and get up to go downstairs.

I turn the knob but it's locked. I twist it again but nothing.

"No, no." I whisper.

"Mom! Mom!" I shout banging on the door even though I know she isn't here.

I put my hands on my forehead and grip my hair. I start breathing rapidly and fall to the ground because my lets are shaking so badly.

I start to hyperventilate.

"Let me out of here!" I shout. "Please don't keep me locked in here!" I pull on my hair harder almost as if to pull it from my skull.

My breathing quickens again I'm surprised I haven't passed out.

"I can't be here forever I need to get out! I'm going to go crazy again! Unlock the door!" I shout and crawl over to it and try to open it.

I lean against the wall and sob.

"No, no." I whisper.

I start screaming loudly and bolt awake.

I go to the door and open it and run down the stairs and out the front door to make sure I'm not trapped in here.

I kneel down on the ground and put my hands over my ears and start screaming and crying hysterically. I'm breathing quickly and am soon hyperventilating.

"I liked it better when I saw myself in the arena." I sob out. My hands are shaking and I can't catch my breath. I start crying louder.

I feel something or someone next to me.

I scream out loudly.

Someone takes my hand but I fight them.

"Get off me." I sob.

"Annie relax." I hear the voice say. I still fight them.

It is starting to pour down rain.

The person is still grabbing my arm and is trying to pull me up.

I sob out and say something unintelligent.

They eventually just pick me up and take me somewhere. I still cry and harder from fear that I am being captured.

I have so many tears in my eyes it is blocking my vision.

I feel there hand across my face.

"Annie shhh it's okay." I hear him whisper and kiss my forehead.

"Finnick?" I sob.

"It's me. It's okay Annie." He says.

I try to talk to him but am crying too much.

"Annie just try to calm down first." He says.

He lights a fire and wraps a blanket around me. Then he sits next to me and wraps his arm around me.

I'm still crying uncontrollably.

I close my eyes and consecrate on my breathing to calm myself down. When I do I am covered in sweat and I can hear my heartbeat in my ears.

I grab a tissue from the box next to me and clean all the tears and snot from my face.

My chin is trembling and one more tear rolls down my cheek.

Finnick runs his thumb across my cheek and wipes it away.

"All better." He whispers and kisses my forehead.

"I… I."

"Annie just calm down you can talk to me then." He says gently and kiss my forehead.

I close my eyes and lean against his shoulder.

After probably thirty minutes I feel more composed.

"I'm afraid to be locked in a room. That's the saddest fear in the world." I whisper.

"Was that the nightmare being locket in a room?" Finnick asks.

I nod.

"It's okay Annie and you have every right to be afraid of that." He says his tone of voice is making me angry because I can hear the guilt

"Finnick stop talking like that." I whisper.

"Like what?" He asks.

"Finnick the reason I don't want to see you is because you feel so guilty."

"But Annie-

"Finnick please."

"But Annie-

"I can't deal with your guilt forever."

"Okay I will try to work on it but Annie-

"What?" I ask

"That wasn't the only reason was it."

"Finnick I just…

"You just what?" He asks.

"I thought if you saw me… now you wouldn't want to see me anymore."

"Why would that be?" He asks confused.

"Because Snow he broke my brain. I don't think I will be the same again Finnick I'm so-

I get cut off by Finnick kissing me.

"What are you doing?" I ask when he stops.

"Uh kissing you I thought it was rather obvious." He smiles

I roll my eyes. "I meant why?"

"Because I love you."

I sigh

"But Finnick-

"No none of that." He smiles. "I love you and will always love you, no matter what happens. Annie I'm surprised I have to tell you this because I recalled telling you that I was stuck with you for the rest of your life."

"But-

"And that you would cut off my pinky if I broke that promise."

"That was actually if you killed me but-

"Whatever." He says and kisses my forehead. "I'm never leaving Annie. Never."

I hug him tightly and cry.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't deserve you."

"Annie." He says

"I didn't talk to you for a month for my own selfish reasons, Finnick-

"Annie it doesn't matter it's alright now." He kisses my forehead. "Okay?"

"Okay." I whisper.

He holds me for awhile.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm grand." He kisses my forehead "Why though?" He asks

"Because the last time I saw you, you were just out of the hospital." I whisper.

"I'm fine Annie."

"But me not being there and Snow-

"Annie, I'm fine and I'm not going to be doing that again in the near future."

"What makes you so sure?" I ask

"Everyone coming to see me made me realize I still have things to live for."

"You just got over like." I snap my fingers "that."

"Well not completely but you get the gist."

I lean against his chest.

"I love you." I whisper "And I'm sorry."

"I love you too." He kisses my forehead. "And you're forgiven." He whispers.

"Why so many?" I ask after awhile.

"What?" He asks confused.

"The flowers Finnick, I know you were the culprit, why so many?" I ask.

"One for every time I thought about you."

"There were like hundreds of flowers Finnick."

"I know." He says and places a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm crazy about you Cresta." He smiles.

"I love you Finnick." I whisper into his chest and close my eyes. I breathe in and out slowly and eventually fall asleep in Finnick's arms.

**A/N: Hi all! Thank you for reading! I just wanted to say that the reason I have been able to update so fast is because I had some of this stuff already written so it probably won't be like four chapters a day. Also I just realized I have over 100 reviews! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Also shout out to X The mad girl back home X because you review on almost ever chapter you're awesome! So is everyone else! I'm glad you are liking the story! Until chapter 66! **

**-Susan**


	66. Chapter 66

**A/N: A nice fluffy chapter!**

**Chapter 66**

I'm somewhat asleep in the living room I had a terrible nightmare last night and I didn't want to go back upstairs, and no one made me. My mom had to leave to go to work but Finnick and Lana are here.

"What did he do to her?" Lana asks referring to Snow.

I didn't tell Lana what Snow did when I was in the Capitol and I didn't really tell my mom either but she either figured it out or Finnick told her.

Finnick doesn't say anything.

"Snow I mean." She clarifies

"I knew what you meant." He says probably as nice as possible but he still sounds angry.

Lana doesn't respond probably because she doesn't want to upset him.

"Put her in solitary confinement."

"That doesn't sound so bad are you sure-

"Not that bad Lana, you aren't supposed to stay in solitary confinement longer than a day, two at the most. If it's longer." He pauses. "You start to go mad and will have a difficult time transiting back into society if you can at all because you haven't been with anyone for so long."

"It was only two weeks Finn-

"Only two weeks of being trapped in a room with nothing but your thoughts. Only two weeks of wondering what some evil man is going to do to you. Only two weeks of not knowing how long you've been held captive. Two weeks alone by yourself." I can tell he is looking at Lana, probably that stone cold look he has sometimes. "It didn't help that she had before nightmares either. Solitary confinement is one of the worse choices of torture. Most people wouldn't say that because you can't see the effects right away because there are no physical wounds. It's all psychological Lana." He says.

"Oh." She whispers "Could that cause illusions?"

"Possibly, you didn't see her when I got her she didn't want to leave, she was begging for death because she said it would be easier than being locked in a room."

I move a little bit.

"We shouldn't be talking so loud I don't want to wake her up." Lana whispers

"We could go to a different room." Finnick says.

They do and I open my eyes.

I sigh and sit up. I don't bother looking for them because I don't want to talk to anyone.

I start to twirl a loose strand on one of the pillows over and over again.

I close my eyes and when I open them it doesn't look good. I hear this very loud noise that sounds like screaming.

I twirl the strand again with so much force that I rip it out of the pillow. I put my hands over my ears. .

"Shut up shut up shut up shut up." I say while rocking back and forth.

I can hear them come into the room

I feel someone sit next to me. I lean into them not knowing if it is Lana or Finnick neither of them would care.

They wrap their arm around me and rub my shoulder.

"Don't worry Annie you're safe here." I hear Finnick say but it just helping.

* * *

After I started seeing Finnick again I haven't really left him alone. He stays at my house more than he does his own. Even when Jason and Marci stay there he usually stays at my house to keep the nightmares away. I tell him I don't need him but when he comes over first thing the next day and sees me with messy hair, tear stained pajamas, and blood shot eyes it exactly make a very convincing argument. Besides, I know my mom tells him what happened when I'm not in the room. They both know I know this too so I don't know why we keep up the charade.

I'm upstairs lying in bed. Finnick is next to me asleep but I'm not. I have my knees pushed to my chest and am gripping a pillow tightly trying to hold in tears.

Finnick stays here almost every night and I feel sorry for him because he hasn't slept soundly since. I know he has nightmares every now and then but not every night. When I was staying away from him before it was usually three times a night so he is helping but, I want him to get a goods night rest so me screaming into a pillow every now and then won't kill me.

I sniffle and can feel him shuffle in the bed. I close my eyes in case he is awake. After a few minutes I roll over and see he was just shifting positions.

I breathe in and out. I get off of the bed and open the bedroom door. After that nightmare I have kept a habit of keeping the door open but Finnick is used to closing doors so sometimes it stays closed.

I walk back to bed and see Finnick sitting up.

"What are you doing Annie?" He almost slurs. Finnick is like a drunk when he wakes up without notice or hasn't gotten enough sleep. I sometimes have to try not to laugh. It is even funnier because he has never had a drop of alcohol of the fear he might turn into Haymitch.

"Opening the door." I say and walk slowly into the bed. The covers are nice and inviting I can still feel my body warmth on them.

"Oh no I forgot. I'm so sorry Annie." He says.

"It's okay Finnick." I smile.

"I'm so sorry Annie." He says again.

"Finnick." I say smiling.

He blinks a couple times and smiles.

"Yes my love?" He smiles

"I think you should go back to sleep."

"But Annie you need me." He protests and not very well either.

"Not right now the only thing I need is for you to go to bed."

He looks at me and kisses the tip of my nose.

"Oh Annie." He smiles. "So cute like a button." He says and brushes his pointer finger on the tip of my nose.

I laugh.

"Finnick we should go back to sleep."

"Annie."

I smile and lay back down hoping he will do the same but he doesn't.

"Is something bothering you Finnick?"

"No." He says and lies back down and kisses my cheek.

"Okay." I say and lean against his chest

"I love you so much Annie." He whispers.

"I love you too."

* * *

Finnick just left and will be back later today. I head downstairs to wait until he comes back.

My mom sits next to me as I'm at sitting on the sofa reading. She pats my shoulder and I look up.

"Annie I want to talk to you." My mom says.

"What did I do?" I ask.

She smiles.

"Nothing sweets I just thought that you've been with Finnick a lot."

"Mom I know but-

"It's fine Annie I just know he has been staying here and-

"You mean him staying over."

She nods.

"I can-

"Annie this is your house."

"Yes." I say confused.

"You can do whatever you want in it."

"Okay." I say confused.

"But I was thinking maybe I should go to our old house."

"Mom you don't have to leave just because Finnick is here all the time."

"Annie you're twenty years old you can live by yourself. I feel like it's time-

"But mom-

"If you don't want me to leave I won't but I can't live with you forever Annie. Besides someone is very capable of taking care of you."

"But mom-

"I can tell you want me to stay but if you change your mind I can-

"I was going to say I'll always need you that will never change."

She smooths my hair and kisses my forehead.

"I know Annie, so is this your way of telling me you want to be by yourself."

"Maybe." I say.

She nods.

"If you want me to come back I will as soon as you say the word." She says and kisses my forehead.

"Okay." I say and hug her. "I love you mom."

"I love you too Annie."

"So you think Finnick will stay with me?" I ask.

"Annie he does most of the time anyways."

"But it's different if he says no will you stay here."

"Annie I can stay here now and he isn't going to say no."

"How can you know?" I ask.

"Because he loves you but if by some stroke as fate he says no I will stay here."

I nod.

* * *

Finnick comes trough the door and sits next to me and kisses me.

"That's a nice greeting." I say and he smiles.

"I thought so." He kisses me again.

"So Finnick I wanted to ask or tell you something."

"Okay." He says.

"I was talking to my mom earlier and-

"What is she okay?"

I smile.

"She's okay and I'm okay but Finnick she pointed out that you stay here a lot."

"She thinks it's too much doesn't she?"

"No, no Finnick. She likes that you are here so much but she might have suggested that she could go and you could stay… longer.

He smiles.

"Annie Cresta are you asking me to live with you."

I shrug.

"Maybe." I whisper.

"What took you so long to ask." He smiles.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Annie come on."

"Come on what?" I ask.

"You didn't know this was inevitable, I mean I have been staying here all the time."

"That doesn't mean I would ask you to stay here Finnick."

He smiles.

"Yes it does."

"I can't tell if you are very confident or very arrogant." I tease.

"Annie come on you should know that answer by now." He looks at me and smiles.

"I know, confident." I say.

"Actually I was going with arrogant but we can go with confident." He teases.

"Finnick." I shove his shoulder.

He smiles.

"I love you Annie ."

"I love you too Finnick." He says and kisses me.


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter 67**

"You have too much stuff." I say as Finnick places his things around.

"Annie no I don't, you do." He says and picks up a decorative bowl in the living in groom. "Like what is this?"

"It was in the house when I moved in."

"So you wouldn't be heartbroken if we got rid of it."

"But it looks nice."

"Annie."

I smile

"I was just kidding you can get rid of any Capitol stuff."

"How will I know if it is Capitol stuff?"

I pick up the bowl and show him the bottom.

"Oh, is this on everything from the Capitol?" He asks.

"Yes the Capitol ceil is on almost everything here."

I get a plate from the kitchen and show him.

"You didn't being your own dishware?" Finnick asks surprised

"No, my mom would go to the old house a lot. Besides, it seemed silly to bring it when they supplied one. Are you telling me you brought your own dishware?"

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"I moved into the village when I was fourteen. I wasn't having a good… transition so my parents brought almost everything to the house to help."

"That's nice." I smile.

"Yeah I guess it didn't work but, it was nice. It is nice to have that stuff around now anyways."

"Wait, then what did you do with all the Capitol dishes?"

"They were in the house I grew up in. Still are."

"So Michael has them now."

He nods.

"Well at least he gets all the crap you never wanted."

"Yeah there is that. Sooo, we can get rid of all this Capitol crap and bring my kitchen stuff here?"

"Yeah sure." I say

He smiles and spins the plate

"Don't throw it on the floor Finnick." I say picking up on what he is thinking.

"C'mon Annie it would be fun."

"Sharp objects on the floor no, if you want to break it, break it outside."

He smiles.

"You always this strict? Because I think I can't handle that." He teases

"Finnick shut-

"Might be a deal breaker Annie. I mean if I can't drop anything else."

I roll my eyes.

"Shut up." I smile

"Nah." He smiles and kisses my cheek.

He puts the plate down.

"What will you use for dishes at your house then?"

"These." He picks up the plate again

"So we're going to move two whole kitchen sets."

"That is correct." He smiles.

"Your house is like twenty yards from mine do you really need to bring everything?"

"Yes because if I don't that means that I am still a visitor but, if you let me bring all my crap here it means that I live here." he says.

I smile.

"I guess you're right." I say.

* * *

Over the next few days we move Finnick's stuff. I'm not fond of moving it is more annoying than I thought it would be, especially since his house isn't that far away. I would hate to lug all my stuff from my old house here. I would probably just give up.

I'm sitting at the table and Finnick sits next to me.

"Finnick."

"Yes?" He says.

"I like that you're around so much now."

"Well Annie I'm quite fond of being here with you as well."

"Good." I lean in and kiss him.

"Finnick you know you've been here for a few weeks and I'm really glad of that but ever since you moved in-

"Yes?" He asks confused.

"Don't you just think that it's sort of gone now." I say smiling.

"Gone?" He says trying to not laugh.

"Yes I just…when you come near me and that kiss it's like-

"Torture." He smiles

"Yes." I smile

"I'm glad you said something Annie because I was getting repulsed by you as well, there's just nothing left to the imagination anymore."

"All the love is gone."

"Knowing too much can be a bad thing." He smiles.

We both laugh.

"Seriously though I like that you're here." I say and lean into him.

"I like that I'm here too." He says and kisses me.

I stand up to get a glass of water. I sip it. I hear the door open but Finnick doesn't seem to notice. I see Snow walking into the foyer. My body stiffens he starts to get closer. He isn't saying anything which is making me nervous.

I start to breathe quickly and sway a little. Finnick hurries to me and grabs my waste.

"Annie, Annie? What's wrong?"

"Didn't you seem him?"

"See who?" He asks.

"Snow he was right there on the couch Finnick." I say pointing a shaky finger at the couch.

"No he wasn't Annie." He says gently.

"Are you sure because Finnick it seemed real, he was just staring at me with those eyes." I'm starting to breathe quickly on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Annie shhh." I hear Finnick say. "You're okay, it wasn't real." He looks me in the eyes. "It wasn't real." He says again.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out.

"It wasn't real." I repeat.

"Correct it wasn't real." He says gently.

I hug him.

"It's okay Annie."

"I know."

"Well that is all that matters."

I hug for awhile and don't say anything.

"Finnick?"

"Yes."

"Do I ruin everything?"

"What?" He asks confused.

"I feel like I ruin everything or at least bring the mood down."

"Annie Cresta you could never bring the mood down because when I look at you it is as beautiful as a sunset."

"But I cry-

"Everyone cries, even me." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Not as much as I do. All of the tears I have cried could probably make a lake."

"It doesn't matter Annie. Every tear drop is a waterfall. Besides you can cry as much as you want because like after a terrible rain storm there's a beautiful rainbow. You're that rainbow Annie." He whispers and smooths my hair.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Okay." He says and kisses me.

* * *

I am lying in bed with Finnick next to me. he is still asleep but I woke up because I feel like I might throw up. I roll over and put my hands over my face. My temples are throbbing.

It feels like my tongue is shrinking to the back of my throat.

I get up and hurry to the bathroom and kneel in front of the toilet and throw up. I kneel back and lean against the shower.

I look at my hair and am glad I don't see any in there. I hear the door open and can feel the vomit rising up again.

I go back to the toilet and heave into it but, this time my hair is being held back and my back is being rubbed.

I kneel back and wipe my chin.

"Annie are you okay?" I hear Finnick ask.

"Do I look okay Finnick? How did you know I was getting sick anyways?"

"I heard you."

"You have very good ears then, especially since you were sleeping." I eye him strangely.

"When you got up to use the bathroom I woke up." He smiles and puts the back of his hand to my forehead. It feels so cool against my skin. Almost like ice.

"I think you have a fever." Finnick says. "Do you feel okay?"

"Not really."

"Do you think you will get sick again." He asks gently.

"Maybe."

"Okay." He says. He starts to run his fingers through my hair.

"Finnick I really don't think my hair is the biggest concern."

"You should put it up in case you vomit again. I don't have long hair but I would assume that would be a concern." I can hear the sass in his voice.

"Whatever." I say.

"It won't take long Annie." He says. I can tell he is smiling.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"You being sick of course not."

"I meant doing my hair."

"You should wear it up more anyways." He says. He always tells me this he finally got his way I just had to get sick for him to do it.

He braids my hair within a minute. I'm sure anyone from District Four could do that. You learn how to make all kinds of knots in school.

"Is it too tight?" He asks.

"No it's fine."

"You should take some medicine." He opens the bathroom cabinet and gets me medicine and also some water. He kisses my forehead. "I'll be right back Annie just get back in bed." He says and leaves the room.

I take the pills and brush my teeth to get the throw up taste out of it.

I go back to the bed and flop down. Not caring it is on Finnick's side. It is closer to the bathroom anyways.

Finnick comes back with a water bottle and a barf bowl.

He kneels in front of me.

"Do you want anything else?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"No just tired." I say.

"Go back to sleep then." He says and kisses my forehead and gets back in bed.

I wake up in a few hours extremely hot and throw the covers off of me causing Finnick to jump up.

I don't bother giving him an explanation because I have that throw up feeling. I go back to the bathroom and vomit. I can feel Finnick rubbing my back.

"It's okay Annie." He says.

I can feel the sweat on my forehead.

"I'll get you some water. Okay?" He says. I nod but don't really care. I get up and wobble back to bed.

I lie down. I am covered in sweat but my teeth are clattering.

"Are you cold?" Finnick asks.

I nod.

"I think you have the flu." He says and heads to the dresser that holds the blankets and puts one on me.

"That better?" He asks.

"Yes." I say even though I shiver.

"Are you sure you don't want another blanket?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"No, I'm okay." I say.

"Okay but I'm just going to put one at the end of the bed in case."

"Finnick-

"You don't have to use it, it's in case you change your mind or something." He smirks.

"Okay."

I say and roll over again and fall asleep. I wake up in an hour and have sweated through the blanket. I don't have time to think about that because I heave into the barf blow and the lamp flickers on.

"Oh Annie." Finnick says. "Are you okay?"

"Define okay." I say.

He smiles.

"Here why don't I-" he reaches for the barf bowl.

"Finnick no I can take care of it."

"Annie you should just stay in bed."

"But you'll see the vomit." I practically whisper.

He rolls his eyes.

"The toilet, the bowl what's the difference? Besides, you should get a new one in case you feel the need to vomit again. All over the bed or floor would not be ideal and more clean up."

"Okay." I say and he takes the bowl and goes to the bathroom. He then goes downstairs probably to get a new clean one.

He comes back and I am almost asleep. Finnick places the bowl on the night stand. He kisses my forehead and then turns off the light.

I wake up again and grab the covers because I'm freezing this time. I did it too vigorously because the light goes on and Finnick moves towards me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper

"What are you sorry for?" Finnick asks.

"I keep waking you up from-

"Honey, it's okay you're sick."

"Well I don't want to get you sick you should go to another bedroom."

"Annie I'll be okay besides, if you get me sick you'll get to take care of me."

"But won't that just start the cycle again?" I say.

"I guess, you should just go back to bed Annie. Hopefully you'll feel better in the morning. Okay?"

"Okay." I say and roll over. Finnick pulls the blankets up and I go to sleep.

* * *

I get up and still feel disgusting. I look over and don't see Finnick. I sigh and head to the bathroom and take some medication.

I sit down and rest my hands on my head. I hear the stairs creek and see Finnick.

"Have you been awake long?" He asks me.

I shake my head.

"Probably ten minutes." I croak out.

"You feel any better?"

"Not really almost vomited when I went to the bathroom."

He comes next to me.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

He nods.

"Do you want anything? Crackers, water, ginger ale, a blanket?"

"Ginger ale please."

He gets it and I sip it slowly.

"Thank you." I say.

"You're welcome."

"I mean for taking care of me."

"Annie it's my pleasure." He says and kisses my forehead. "Did you take more medicine because-

"I did Finnick. I can do some things by myself." I smile

"I'm sure you can. Do you want to sleep more?"

"I guess I don't really want to do anything else."

"Okay, just holler if you need something."

"Okay." I say and lie back down.

After a few hours I feel a little better and stand up and go to the bathroom.

I grab the bowl and head downstairs.

Finnick comes towards me.

"Annie what's wrong? Did you get sick again? Have a nightmare? Are you-

"Relax Finnick I wanted a change of scenery."

"Okay."

I lie on the couch.

"Do you want anything Annie?"

"Something to eat."

"I'll get you some crackers." He says. I nod.

I see a notebook on the table and grab it. It has a number of Districts and some victors as well. I notice for District Four Luna's name isn't listed. There are also some names that I recognize. Most of them are important people from the Capitol, usually involving the Hunger Games.

I flip the page but Finnick grabs it before I get the chance to look at it.

"Hey." I say.

"Here." He gives me crackers and ginger ale.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." He says and kisses my forehead.

"But Finnick those names those-

"Just focus on getting better it's really nothing Annie."

"Okay." I say

"You should eat those if you can keep it down I'll make you soup or scrambled eggs. I'll be right back." He says.

He gets up and leaves probably to stash the notebook at his house with all the other mystery items I find.

I hear the phone ring and get up.

"Hello." I say.

"Who's this?" The female voice says.

"Annie Cresta are you looking for someone else?"

"Oh... Annie that's right this is your house Finnick just stays there."

"Who is this?"

"Johanna."

"Jo- why do you want to talk to Finnick?" I ask and can hear the jealously in my voice. I really should work on that because I don't own Finnick and Johanna seems like a nice person, despite being very intense.

"I just wanted to talk to him about… uh is he there?"

"He stepped out for a bit to-

I start to get the throw up feeling and head to the sink and throw up.

"Hello?" She says

"I'm here." I say.

"You getting sick from talking to me?" I can hear the smile in her voice.

"No I've got the flu."

"Oh hope you feel better let Finnick know-

I hear the door open.

"He just walked trough the door Johanna."

"Okay." She says

"Here." I say and put it against his chest and head upstairs.

I lie back down in bed and feel like the room is spinning. I don't know if it's because I'm sick or because he is on the phone with Johanna.

Finnick comes upstairs in twenty minutes. He sits on the bed and rubs my back.

"You okay?" He asks

"What did she want?" I ask.

"Nothing." He says

"God dammit Finnick."

"What?"

"It wasn't nothing."

"You're still jealous aren't you?"

"That's not why I'm angry Finnick."

"Then what is it?"

I sigh.

"Secrets secrets are no fun secrets secrets hurt someone." I say.

Finnick rolls his eyes.

"You can bitch and moan all you want but I'm never going to tell you." He says I can tell he is trying not to laugh.

"Finnick." I say.

"Annie I'm serious."

I sigh.

"I'm too sick to deal with this." I say.

"Okay." He says.

"I just want to go to sleep." I say.

"Okay." He kisses my forehead and places a blanket over me and I fall asleep.

I wake up and the rest of the day is filled with vomiting and sleeping.

The last time I was this sick was when I was fifteen. I remember because it was awfully hot out. There is nothing worse than being sick when it is ninety degrees outside. Especially since you feel hotter than you already are. It's not so bad in this house because it has fancy air conditioning, but my old home just had windows that opened.

I would vomit almost every other hour my mother was more worried that would get dehydrated from all the barfing. I remember sitting in the living room and feeling miserable. My mother made it a little better by giving me ice packs. I remember she took some of the ice cream from the shop and gave it to me which was a rare thing because ice cream is a big seller in the summer time. I almost never had it growing up.

Now however things are different because I live by myself technically anyways. I still have someone who can take care of me. Someone I love around. It's nice that feeling and I hope it never goes away.

I'm in a medicine induced coma. Having weird dreams and hallucinations all day.

"Double life is catching up to me. If that I think it is a triple life now."

Finnick comes towards me. He looks strange this is probably something from all the meds. What would he mean by a triple life anyways.

"People have me stretched in so many directions." He sits next to me and I can almost feel his touch. This is a very real hallucination. "Not you Annie you don't want me to be someone else or order me to do something. And how do I repay you? By keeping things from you."

He runs his fingers through my hair.

"I will never tell you. I just wish you would stop asking because every time you do it is getting harder and harder." He kisses my forehead.

I open my eyes and sit up and catch Finnick leaving the room.

"That was real." I whisper.

* * *

I wake up not because I'm going to be sick but because Finnick is shouting something. I sit up and am not surprised to see he is asleep.

"Finnick." I shake his shoulder and croak out.

"Wake up. Wake up." I say. I'm not really up to shaking him very hard. I still am sick.

"Finnick." I say again and he sits up quickly.

"Oh Annie are you okay?"

"Are you okay?"

"What why?"

"You were screaming, you were you having a nightmare."

"Yes but that's not uncommon."

"No it's not but-

"But what?"

"It seems that you are having them more often."

"Annie I don't-

"I'm not complaining I have no room too but that isn't like you." I say.

"I know I just have a lot on my mind." He says.

"I wish you would talk to me about it. I'm assuming it is part of your super secret."

"Some yeah."

"Well… can you at least tell me what your nightmares have been about because I think that might help you Finnick."

"It's the same old stuff really. I am probably just having more nightmares because of stress."

I lay down because I get a dizzy spell.

"You okay Annie?"

"I just want to get better."

"You will probably soon."

* * *

I wake up and am half leaning off the bed. I lift my head up and can feel drool on my face.

"Yuck." I say as I wipe it off.

I roll over and head to the bathroom. I wash my face and look at the mirror and see someone wrote on it with marker.

"What the hell." I say.

_Had to step out for a minute. I hope you don't see this but if you do awaken to find me gone don't worry Annie, I will be right back. You have no idea how hard it is to leave you when you're asleep because you are so vulnerable but I hope you're okay. I love you Annie please don't worry about me just try and go back to sleep._

"Finnick." I whisper

"Yes?"

I jump and scream a bit because he startled me.

Finnick runs over and places his hands on my waist because I'm about to fall over.

"Are you okay Annie?" He asks.

"You scared me." I whisper and wrap my arms around him.

"I'm sorry Annie." He whispers and rubs my back.

I swallow hard and trace circles on his back.

"It's fine." I say and look at him. "I think it was because I expected you to be gone." I say and motion towards the mirror.

"Oh well I did just get back." He says.

"How the hell is that going to get off the mirror?" I ask.

He takes his hand and rubs it across the note and the words smear.

"How did you do that?" I ask.

"Magic." He replies and kisses my forehead.

"Do you feel any better?" He asks.

"Better than yesterday." I reply.

"Excellent." He says

"I still just want to lie in bed."

"You're allowed. Do you need me to carry you?" He teases.

I roll my eyes.

"I am perfectly cable of walking Mr. Odair."

"Okay Miss. Cresta." He smiles and let's go of me and I was back in bed.

I look at Finnick as he sits next to me.

"You know that note made it sound like you didn't know when you were going to come back."

"Sorry if it left that impression." He smiles.

"Finnick."

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"You're the person who is sick and you're asking if I'm okay?" He asks

"I just… I don't know you've seemed sad or something recently. I hope-

"It's not because of you Annie. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Okay." I say.

"You're not buying that are you?"

"I do buy that you have a lot of your mind you're an important fellow you like to think about important things." I smile "I just wish you could talk to me about it. You're double life."

Finnick smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes "Don't worry I'm fine."

"You sure because last time you were like this you tried to kill yourself."

He puts his hand on my shoulder and kisses my cheek.

"Is that why you're so afraid?" He asks.

"Maybe." I say.

He hugs me.

"Annie I'm not going to kill myself." He kisses the top of my head. "Okay?"

"Positive?"

"Yes and if I was thinking that I would be talking to you, actually I would probably be talking to lots of people."

He hugs me but I push him away.

"Please don't hug me." I say.

"Annie-

"I'm not mad it's making me want to throw up." I say.

"Someone replused by my touch I thought that day would never come." He teases.

I roll my eyes.

"You're so silly." I say.

"I guess." He says.

"I'd kiss you but, then I would get you sick." I say he smiles.

"You will just have to wait then."

"Okay." I say.

"You should try and go to sleep."

"Okay." I say. I roll over and close my eyes.

**A/N: Hello all I hope you enjoyed this update! I was listening to the Coldplay album Mylo Xyloto hence the line every tear drop is a waterfall. No way in hell am I deep enough to come up with that lol. Thanks for reading! Also I don't think I will update for a few days to focus on my other stories I have just been showing this one too much love! **


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter 68**

I'm sitting in the living room holding a pillow to my chest because I have that uncomfortable feeling. Sometime I just feel uncomfortable for some reason I don't know why but nothing I try can stop.

I twirl my hair over and over again trying to help myself but it isn't helping.

Finnick sits next to me and I start rocking back and forth.

"Are you alright?" Finnick asks.

I don't answer him I feel too uncomfortable.

"Love?" He asks and kisses my forehead.

I try to answer, but I end up doing this strange sob like laugh making myself look crazy.

"You alright?" He asks me again.

"I don't-" I don't finish the sentence and just end of laughing.

I close my eyes.

_Nothing is funny Annie. _I think to myself.

I start to feel uncomfortable because I don't really do this in front of Finnick not since the ride home from the Capitol when I was being held captive. I have cried and had panic attacks and illusions but not a laughing spell. When this happens I feel crazy because I'm laughing at nothing. I breathe in and out but still laugh not as crazed sounding as before but still it isn't normal.

"Why are you laughing?" Finnick asks me.

"I don't know." I say.

"Okay that's okay." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

That wasn't the answer I was expecting. I thought he would say that's unusual or that's not right or are you okay not that's okay. It's not okay because that's not how it works. You shouldn't laugh at nothing.

"Finnick I'm laughing like an escaped mental patient and you're saying that's okay."

"Yup." He says.

"That's not okay Finnick." I get rid of the pillow and press my knees to my chest.

"Yes it is." He says gently.

I bury my face in my knees and start crying because he is not reacting the way he should be.

"Annie shhhh it's okay you can do whatever you want."

I look up at him and he wipes the tears from my eyes.

"This isn't what you're supposed to be saying Finnick or how you're supposed to be reacting." I whisper

"What do you mean?

"Finnick." I clear my throat from the mucus build up. "I know what they all say about me Finnick. I know what they all say."

"Annie no one says anything about you." He says confused.

"That's a lie." I whisper.

"Annie I don't know what you're talking about."

I let go of my legs.

"I don't think you should've moved in with me."

"What?" Finnick asks he sound confused but a little hurt.

"You're going to see it. You're going to see it. You're going to see it." I say as tears start to drip down my face.

"What am I going to see?" Finnick asks gently.

I don't look at him.

"Annie" He says gently.

I don't answer and press my knees to my chest again and put my head on my knees.

"Love, what's wrong." He says gently.

I don't respond.

"Annie don't make me pull out the big guns." He says.

I have a feeling I know what he means and I hope it isn't because he knows how much that annoys me.

"No not that." I whisper.

"Then tell me what's wrong?"

I shake my head.

"You're going to make me say it aren't you."

I don't respond.

"Okay but I warned you." He says and rubs my back. "Last chance." He says I don't say anything.

"_Baby_ what's wrong?"

"Stop it." I whisper.

"_Babe_ you should tell me.

"Finnick."

"_Baby _come on talk to me."

My head snaps up.

"Finnick stop my ears are burning that word is like nails on a chalkboard for me. It's too cutesy and annoying."

Finnick is laughing.

"Finnick." I say with an edge to my voice.

"I'm sorry Annie but you made me do it." He kisses my forehead. "What's wrong?" He asks.

I put my head back on my knees.

"Don't make me say it again." I can hear the smile in his voice.

I look up.

"Finnick you have been with me all the time now and you're going to see it. You didn't see everything before because you weren't here 24/7 but now…" I trail off

"What do you mean and what am I going I see?" He says stroking my hair.

I sniffle and wipe the snot from my nose.

"Annie?" He says gently.

"You're going to see that you're just in love with some poor mad girl."

"What?"

"Finnick I know I'm crazy."

"No you're not." He kisses my cheek.

"Why do you keep saying that?!" I yell at him.

"Because it's the truth." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Finnick I know it, they know it everyone knows it. Why can't you just face reality that I'm not quite right in the head."

He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Finnick-

"Annie stop saying that, it's not true and it will never be true."

"But Finnick-

"But Annie-

I sigh.

"Do you want to get rid of me?" He asks

I swallow hard. He knows the answer already but he wants to hear me say it.

"No I don't want to get rid of you but, you're… it's just… I'm going to shatter the illusion that you have cooked up in your mind about me."

"I love you Annie and I don't have any illusion built up about you. I'm in love with you Annie."

"Okay." I say and place my head back to my knees

"Annie I do love you and I don't know how to phrase this correctly so I'm sorry if I am offending you."

I lift my head up.

"Are you going to kick me while I'm down." I sob.

He smiles

"No, no, no. I'm not that cruel love." He kisses my forehead.

"Annie I wasn't in love with you before the Hunger Games. Or right after. Or at that festival where I brought you the pie-

"How is this supposed to make me feel better?" I ask and wipe tears away.

"Keep listening."

"Hang on you tried to kiss me in that time frame."

"Well you were being all cute and pretty and I felt like I wanted to kiss you but I wasn't in love with you." He says and I roll my eyes.

"I wasn't really in love with you at the start of the Victory Tour but by the end of that tour I realized I loved you. I think it was because I was spending every day with you and I told you things and you were there for me. You've always been there." He kisses my forehead. "Don't you see it Annie."

"See what that I loved you first?." I mutter

He smiles.

"No, no it's that I loved you despite that everything that happened to you. I never saw you as some damaged good. I just fell in love with the sweet, nice, kind, cute, funny, adorable Annie Cresta. I fell in a deep love with you. Some may call it _mad_ that I love someone so much. You see Annie you can never get rid of me or convince me that you're crazy or any other adjective you want to use because I've never seen you like that and never will see you like that. You're just Annie Cresta the girl I love."

"I…

"I understand that sometimes you need my help and that's okay."

"I need you more than an average person. I'm like a parasite." I whisper.

"Annie." He says and stokes my hair. "Can you look at me." He says gently. I lift up my head slowly and he smiles and brushes his hand across my cheek. "You're not a parasite you can still be by yourself. Besides I need you too."

"I need you more than you need me."

"You don't know that Annie." He says.

"But Finnick I look at other people and… and… and" I start crying and lean my head against my knees again.

"Shhhh." He rubs my back "Shhhh it's okay." I look up and he wipes the tears away and kisses my cheek.

I swallow hard

"I see other people and they don't need someone as much as I need you. I'm… there's something wrong with me and you for just letting me enable all your time."

"Annie it doesn't matter. Those other people are not you and me. Okay?"

"But-

"And you aren't enabling me. I leave the house and leave you by yourself. You can take of yourself. You may need me but are not a parasite."

"You don't leave that much." I whisper.

"I leave everyday Annie to go see Jason and Marci. Sometimes you come with me yes, but it doesn't matter because they like you. Annie you're also fine when I go to the Capitol."

"You haven't gone since the incident." I whisper.

"I know but you will be okay though." He kisses me. "You're fine Annie." He smiles and place a strand of hair behind my ear. "You're perfect."

He looks at me and kisses my cheek.

"I don't think so Finnick." I say shaking my head.

"Well I do."

" I still think of myself that way. I think that I'm crazy" I whisper.

"Well I don't think I can help you there." He kisses my forehead. "But just do or think whatever makes you feel at ease. Just know that I don't think that."

I hug him.

"I love you." I say and rest my head on his shoulder.

"I love you too." He kisses me. "Baby."

"Way to ruin the moment." I mutter.

He leans in and kisses me.

"The moment wasn't totally lost." He smiles.

**A/N: Sorry if this chapter is sort of fillery. I wanted to add more to it but, didn't really know where to take it... so I thought this would be okay. Thanks for reading!**


	69. Chapter 69

**Chapter 69**

I wake up to a shaking on my shoulder. I bolt up and scream not knowing what to expect. It is still dark outside and I look to the clock and see it is 5:30 in the morning.

I turn and see Finnick isn't in bed.

"Finnick!" I shout.

"Annie relax it's me." I turn back around confused and see him standing and he is already dressed for the day.

"What?" I mumble confused.

"Annie it's me." Finnick says again.

I hug him.

"I'm sorry maybe I should've been more gentle waking you." He says and kisses my cheek. "But I just had to wake you before I left." He whispers.

"Where are you going at five in the morning." I say still groggy. I wipe my eyes to try and get a clear view.

"Annie remember what we talked about last night, I said I was going I the Capitol early tomorrow."

My grasp around him tightens.

I do remember this, I probably didn't remember this morning because he woke me up so early.

We talked for hours about this because I was so afraid of him leaving. Not because I will be away from him, but that conversation I overheard in Snow's office right before we left the Capitol. He threatened me and Finnick in a few sentences.

Which I thought was out of character for him because he only threatens people when he can gain something. That's why he brought me to the Capitol. So Finnick would get me and would see all his clients and then some. But hearing him say if Finnick stepped out of line again he would kill me was strange because because when he came here to take me, he threatened Marci because he said he couldn't kill me because I was a victor.

I told Finnick I was listening in but he already figured I was. He just didn't want to bring it up because he thought it would upset me, which it would've. Neither of us wanted to talk about it. Especially since Snow told Finnick if he felt like killing himself he should hang himself.

I shiver at the memory.

"Annie it's going to be okay." He whispers.

I want to believe him but, I'm afraid. I can feel tears build up in my eyes. I'm trying to hold in the tears because I know he will feel worse about leaving.

"I will only be gone two weeks and you'll be fine."

I look up and he smiles.

"Okay?" He says.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out.

"Finnick do you think I'll be okay?" I whisper into his chest.

"I know you will be Annie." He kisses my forehead. "But, you know if you feel lonely you can see Lana or your mother right?" He asks.

"I know." I whisper and despite my will power of trying not to a cry a few tears sneak out.

He wipes them away.

"Why are you crying?" He asks.

"I'm afraid." I whisper.

"It will be okay Annie."

"But Snow-

"He's not going to hurt you or me."

"But Finnick I heard him and-

"It's okay Annie."

He hugs me and I let a few tears escape without my consent.

"It will be okay." He whispers and I hug him tightly and rest my head on his chest.

Finnick has never had to be like this before going to the Capitol. It's because Snow broke my brain. I remember when I didn't want to spend all my time with Finnick because of fear I wouldn't be able to be by myself. Now that fear is somewhat true. I can live without him but it is harder than it was before. Especially since I have nightmares almost every night and when he isn't with me it is more than once a night.

"I love you." I whisper not knowing what else to say.

He pulls my chin up.

"I love you too." He kisses me.

I hold him and start crying. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it anymore.

"Oh Annie." He says with pain in his voice. "Sweetie it's okay it will be okay." He says

"I don't know why I'm crying." I whisper.

"It's okay you can cry if you want to." He says but his eyes are on the clock.

"You should go." I whisper.

"Okay." He says and wipes my tears away and kisses my cheek. "I love you Annie and it won't be that long." He kisses my forehead.

"Okay." I say.

"Now go back to sleep it's pretty early." He says

"Okay." He says and starts to walk out of the room.

"Finnick." I say and he turns around.

"Yes."

"I love you."

"love you too." He smiles then leaves.

I rest my head back on the pillow and trace circles on the sheets over and over again until my eyes shut again.

* * *

Finnick has been gone two days and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable around the house. It seems too quite I have visited Lana and my mom but it doesn't help when I go home because I'm all alone.

I sit down and start to make breakfast but I keep hearing a loud banging noise.

I close my eyes.

_It's not real Annie. _I think to myself.

I keep hearing it again and again. I'm starting to fidget with everything I touch too try and distract myself but it isn't working. Nothing is working I can still hear the loud banging which has now been accompanied by a dripping water sound.

Drip drip drip drip bang bang bang bang drip bang drip bang bang bang bang drip.

"It's not real. It's not real." I whisper over and over again. I sit at the kitchen table and press my head down and put my hands over my ears.

"Please leave me alone." I whisper.

Bang drip drip drip.

I start rocking back and forth. This is the first Capitol visit he has been on since Snow took me to the Capitol and I'm not handling it as well as I thought I would. I know I said I wouldn't need him ,but I just wish he was here now.

I'm starting to breathe faster

_No you can do this Annie you can be by yourself. You can be by yourself you can be by yourself. _I think again.

Bang. Drip.

"You can be by yourself." I whisper.

I start to breathe faster. I close my eyes and breathe in a nod out to try and calm down.

"It's okay. It's okay." I keep saying and start humming.

Once my breathing has gone back to normal I sit here with my head resting on the cool surface of the table.

I eventually move to the sofa and close my eyes. I hear the door open but don't bother opening them because it's either my mom or Lana or something my mind has cooked up.

They come and sit next to me and I get a strange feeling in my stomach maybe it is the smell on them. It smells like dried blood but also sweet like roses.

_Roses. _I thnk and my head snaps up and I turn my head

My head starts spinning and my temples are throbbing. My mouth has gone dry and I'm shaking. I want to get up and run but it's like every muscle in my body is frozen.

I open my mouth but nothing comes out.

"Miss. Cresta it is a pleasure to see you again." President Snow says


	70. Chapter 70

**A/N: 70 chapters OH MY GOD! Also as a side note do you guys see the first teaser trailer for mockingjay? If not here is the link: watch?v=7dCB2U9lX48 **

**I can't wait! Snow is evil! Poor Peeta! **

* * *

**Chapter 70**

"What are you doing here? Leave me alone!" I shout at him.

"Miss Cresta please calm down I'm here by request of Finnick."

"I don't belive you get out get out!" I yell.

"Miss Cresta you should come back with me Finnick is worried about you."

"No I'm not going anywhere with you!"

He smiles and touches me and I scream.

"Leave me alone! Leave me alone!" I shout and start sobbing.

He tries to pull me up, but I let go of him. I run and lock myself in the closet. I start rocking back and forth.

"I told Finnick I wouldn't leave without you."

"No. No. Finnick would've called or something. I'm not going with you!" I shout even though Finnick has never called me before I know if Snow was coming to take me away he would get to me somehow.

I start crying harder.

"I don't think I will have to wait long either. After being locked up by yourself I'm sure you don't like it." He says smugly but he is right.

I start to hyperventilate and scream.

I hear something outside the door and hear Jason's voice.

He opens the door and president Snow is now gone.

"Annie come on. You're okay let's go for a walk."

"Okay." I mumble.

We start walking and I figure out where he is taking me. I turn around but he grabs my hand.

"Why are you taking me to the train station Jason?"

"Because you need to go to the Capitol."

"No stop! No! No! Jason!"

I get placed in the train and then scream. Then I notice I'm not in a train I'm on the couch in the living room. I must've fallen asleep. I can feel myself sweating and I start crying at the terrible nightmare.

I must've fallen asleep after I closed my eyes I haven't slept through the night since he left I was probably tired.

Before I can stop myself I head to the phone and dial the number.

"Hello? she says

I don't say anything I just start crying.

"Annie sweetie what's wrong?" My mom asks.

"I… I …I-

"Do you want me to come there?"

"Y-yes please."

"Okay."

"Mom."

"Yes?"

"I don't want you to leave." I whisper.

"Okay sweets I will be there very soon." She says and hangs up the phone and I start sobbing again.

I hear the door knock I know it's not her. I start shaking because I think it might be Snow.

I open the door slam it shut.

"Annie?" I hear Jason say confused.

"Go away you're just going to take me to the Capitol. You're just going to take me there!" I scream.

"Annie I just have something from Finnick-

"That's what you say but as soon as I open the door you're going to drag me to the Capitol." I yell.

"No Annie I just have a phone number so you can call him. He meant to give it to you before he left."

"I don't believe you!" I shout.

"Annie I'm trying to help, I know you want to see Finnick and if you have this you can call him. He might not always answer but he picks up when he isn't busy mid afternoon is your best chance to get a hold of him. Annie please."

"No! No! Just leave me alone!" I say and slump against the door and lock it. "It's a trick you're lying." I whimper

"Annie whatever you saw or dreamed wasn't real."

"Yes it was I could feel you holding me back! I could feel Snow's breath on me! Just leave me alone!" I shout.

"Annie please just let me give you this."

"No! Go away! Stop trying to trick me!" I shout and walk away from the door and start sobbing. I hear the door unlock and my mom comes over to me.

"Annie shhhhh. It's okay you're okay."

I wrap my arms around her and cry and cry. I stop crying because I don't have anymore tears but I keep whimpering.

"You're okay Annie."

"But mom I saw President Snow and Jason was trying to drag me to the Capitol." I say and make a sob like sound. "It was real. It was real."

"Sweetie no it wasn't." She says gently.

"I don't believe you." I sob.

"Annie."

"I know it was real!" I shout.

The phone rings and I start crying at the noise.

"It's going to be him! Please don't answer it!" I shout.

She does anyways.

"Hello." She says. The other person of the line is talking fast.

"I see I'll try and get her to talk with you." She puts the phone to her chest. "Annie, Finnick is on the phone for you."

I shake my head.

"No mom it's a trick."

"Sweetie no it's not he was going to give his number to you before he left but he forgot because he isn't usually allowed to call people from back home."

"That's what Jason said!"

She puts the phone back to her ear.

"I don't think I'll be able to get her to talk with you Finnick. She's very upset." She says.

I can hear whoever is on the line say something and then the beeping.

"Annie, he wanted me to tell you that everything will be alright and that he loved you."

"Mom that wasn't real it was all a trick."

"Annie sweetie, I know it may seem real from the nightmare but it wasn't."

"It was though, it was." It is silent for a long time until I say. "Or I thought it was." I put my hands over my face and cry again because I can't really tell. I swallow hard.

"Can I have the phone." I whisper.

She hands it to me and I press the redial button.

It rings twice and I hear.

"Finnick Odair." He sounds so professional I wonder who else calls him on this phone.

"Finnick." I whisper and sniffle.

"Annie." He says and his voice is much softer.

"I'm so scared. Finnick everyone is trying to take me to the Capitol they want to torture me again Finnick." I sob.

"Annie no it was a terrible nightmare none of it was really. It's okay. You're okay." He says gently.

I sniffle again.

"Annie close your eyes." He says.

"What?"

"Close your eyes." He says again.

I do.

"They closed?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Okay picture yourself somewhere nice it can be anywhere and with anyone."

I do.

"Do you have it?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Where are you?"

"With you outside somewhere looking at a sunset."

"Okay how do you feel now?" He asks.

"Happy." I whisper.

"Okay good hold onto that feeling Annie and whenever you feel upset just think of that."

"Finnick." I say.

"Yes?"

"I want you to come home." I say even though I know I shouldn't.

"Annie-

"I know you can't. I shouldn't have even said that because-

"Annie, it's okay you can say whatever you like." He pauses. "But, you might not always like the response you get back."

"I know." I say.

"Are you-

I cut him off.

"I know I said I didn't need you Finnick but I don't think that is true." I sob.

"Annie you can be by yourself you're strong and can do this and don't worry I will be back soon. Just remember that."

"Okay." I whisper.

"Annie I'm sorry but I have to go." He says his voice is a mixture of saddness and disgust. I don't have to ask why because I can tell.

"Okay."

"I will try and call you later. Okay?"

I make a sob like sound.

"Annie?"

"I love you so much." I say.

"I love you too and it will be fine."

The phone line goes dead and I slump against the floor.

My mother comes over and takes the phone from my hand and places it back on the reciver.

"It's okay Annie." She says.

I smile a fake smile.

"I guess." I say even though my brain is screaming 'No it's not! You're crazy! You can't be alone! You need him! You need Finnick Odair to live!' I smile and hold in the tears that I want to let out.


	71. Chapter 71

**Chapter 71**

I wake up on the floor in a cold sweat I have no idea why I'm on the floor. I must've rolled off the bed. My eyes sting from crying so much. It hasn't been as bad from that day I saw Snow. I am better but don't do so well alone. I don't even want to be in same room as Jason.

I get off the floor and lie back down on bed.

"He's coming home in two days." I whisper. "A lot can happen in two days." I whisper.

I close my eyes and press a pillow to my chest. My eyes start to get heavy and I fall into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I wake up to someone running their fingers through my hair. I don't open my eyes mostly because I don't want to see who the touch belongs to or because there might be nothing to see. They kiss my forehead and leave the room.

In a few hours I wake up, take a shower, and head downstairs. When I do I don't bother talking to him I just hug him.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Annie." He says and kisses my forehead. He was the person in my room earlier.

I hug him for a long time and pull back but look confused.

"What happened to your face Finnick." I ask because he has a cut on it.

"Nothing." He says and kisses my cheek.

I rest my head back in his chest.

"Okay." I say not caring. I lean into him and listen to his heartbeat.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes Annie?"

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." He says and kisses my forehead.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"For what?"

I shrug.

"I don't know, but I fell like I should say it."

He nods.

"Here, why don't you sit down and I can make you breakfast."

"I can do that Finnick." I say.

"I know you can, but I _want_ to make it for you."

I smile.

"Okay." I say.

Finnick makes me my favorite breakfast. Banana cinnamon pancakes. Finnick detests bananas and the smell. He always complains when I eat them but, he isn't going to this time.

He places them in front of me and smiles.

"Thank you." I say.

"You're welcome." He says.

I take a bite and smile.

"I messed up didn't I?" He says

"What? No." I say and take another bite

"On a completely different note was this one the first pancake?" I ask motioning towards one that I haven't really eaten because it didn't cook all the way through.

"I have no idea." He says confused

"Why?" He asks.

"Well the middle isn't done but, the others are fine hence asking if it is the first one."

"Why does that matter?"

"Well the griddle probably wasn't as hot, hence the uneven cooking."

"Look at you chef Cresta." He smiles

"That's basic knowledge, just like you should poke holes in a potato before cooking it so it won't explode."

"They never blew up in my house." He smiles.

"Well maybe you didn't have it at the right setting or someone came in and saved you so you wouldn't have potato splatter all over the oven." I smile.

He rolls his eyes.

"Just eat your pancakes." He says and kisses my cheek.

I smile and finish my breakfast. I do the dishes and then Finnick takes my hand and is leading me towards the living room.

"I want to talk to you." He says.

"Oh okay?" I say.

"Why don't we sit on the sofa." He says I look at him strangely. He has that look in his eyes that says I'm not going to like this.

We sit down and I lean into him.

"Annie I need to tell you something." He says. He sounds very serious

"You're not breaking up with me are you?" I tease.

He smiles.

"I would never toss away a girl like you." He kisses me.

"Okay so what is it?" I ask

"Annie I love you so much." He says.

"Okay."

"The Hunger Games are coming up." He says.

"I know like in four weeks."

"Yes four weeks exactly." He says sadly.

"Finnick I know it's coming up soon, but we still have almost a month before-

"Annie when you were taken by Snow you were there for a long time because of me."

"Finnick we have been over this-

"It's not that. While I was away I missed seeing a lot of clients and while I did make up most of them some were busy doing other things, so they were very… unhappy."

"What does that mean Finnick?" I ask my voice full of worry.

"Well to sort of make it up to them I have to see them for longer than I usually would along with the other people I see."

"Okay, what does this have to so with the Hunger Games though?"

"I have to leave for the Capitol next week." He says.

"Okay." I say and lean into him but he pulls me back.

"What?" I ask.

"I have to stay until the games start. I won't see you for almost a month." He says

I can feel the blood drain from my face.

"And I don't think I will be able to call you this time." He whispers. "I'm so sorry Annie." He says.

I hug him.

"Don't be Finnick. I'll be okay."

"Annie I know you say that now, but this time was only for a few weeks and I was calling you and you kept saying you weren't alright."

"Well I will just have to be, it's not like I can go with you." I say.

"No you can't." He says and kisses me.

I hold him for a long time as my mind processes what he is telling me.

* * *

"You're leaving tomorrow?" I ask nervously.

"Yes, but you'll be okay." He says and hugs me tightly.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Annie do you believe that?" He asks.

I don't say anything and pick at my nails.

"Annie." He says gently.

"Yes I'm just scared to be away from you. Snow he... he might hurt you or me or..." I twirl my hair.

"Annie." He says and pulls my chin up.

"Yes." I whisper.

"Nothing is going to happen to me or you okay."

"How can you be so sure?" I ask.

"Because I know."

I open my mouth.

"Annie just trust me. I know that you feel uncertainty when I leave and I do too, but I know it will be okay. I know I will come home to see your beautiful face again." He says

"Okay." I say and hug him for a long time.

"I love you Annie." He says.

"I'll never get tired of hearing that." I whisper into his chest.

Finnick smiles and puts his hand on my chin and I look up at him.

"I love you." You says and kisses my cheek. "I love you." He says and kisses my other cheek. "I love you." He says and kisses my forehead. "I love you." He kisses my jawline. "I love you." He kisses my neck. "I love you." He says and finally kisses my lips. It starts off so soft. His lips are so delicate against mine, they are as fragile as rose petals. The kiss becomes filled will more passion the longer it is.

I run my hands over his back and up into his hair. Finnick holds my waist and pushes me as close to him as possible.

The kiss is filled with passion, but it isn't rough it is nice and slow. I don't know how long we kissed, but when we do stop both of us are breathing heavily.

"Don't stop." I tell him out of breath

"Annie." He says.

I briefly touch my lips to his and look into his green eyes that hold passion.

"Don't stop." I whisper again.

Finnick kisses my lips again and then looks into my eyes and gets close and whispers in my ear.

"I love you."

"I'm still not tired of it yet." I smile.

* * *

Finnick wraps his arm around me and runs his fingers up and down my spine. I reach for his hand and intertwine his fingers with mine. Finnick brings them to his lips and then puts them on his chest.

I can feel Finnick's heartbeat slow down until it is back to normal. Finnick kisses my forehead a few times.

"I love you." I whisper into his chest. He runs his fingers through my hair.

"I love you too Annie more than words can describe." I look up and kiss his lips softly and lean back into his chest.

My eyes start to get heavy by listening to his heartbeat. They soon close and I fall asleep.

* * *

I feel movement and open my eyes. I look up at Finnick and can tell he was trying to get out of bed. He doesn't though and holds my hands instead.

He runs his thumb across my cheek and kisses my forehead.

"Love you." He whispers.

My head is resting against his chest and I can hear his heartbeat. It is steady like a beating drum.

He moves our interlocked hands back and forth and kisses my forehead a few times.

"I love you." I whisper.

He kisses the top of my head.

"I wish it could always be like this." I whisper.

"That would be nice." He says and his lips briefly touch mine.

We don't say anything just listen to each other's breathing and heartbeats, enjoying the closeness of each other.

"Annie." He says after ten minutes.

"Yes." I say.

"I have to get up."

"Why?" I ask.

"I have to go to the Capitol remember."

My hands clasp around his tighter for a second. I almost forgot. After what happened last night everything was in a happy bubble, but now the bubble has been popped.

"It's okay." He whispers and kisses the top of my head.

"Can't you just stay here for a few more minutes." I whisper.

"I already did. When I woke you up I was supposed to be getting ready." He says sadly.

I sit up and hug him.

"You'll be okay Annie." He whispers.

"I know." I say. I do believe myself. This time I'm not taking the risk of being alone. My mom is coming over later today to stay with me while he is gone for almost a whole month.

Finnick gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom and I hear the shower turn on.

I stand up and head to the closet and get dressed. I hear the shower shut off in five minutes.

"Who can shower that fast." I mutter to myself.

I feel arms around my waist and I panic wondering who this might be.

"Annie it's just me." Finnick whispers in my ear.

I lean back against his stomach.

"You shouldn't sneak up on me Finnick."

"I know I'm sorry." He says and kisses my neck.

I turn around and hug him. He rests his chin on my head.

"I don't want to leave." He whispers so softly that if I wasn't this close I wouldn't have heard him. I want to say then don't, but I know that isn't an option.

"It's okay Finnick it's not forever just for a little while." I whisper into his chest.

Finnick's body stiffens when I say this.

I pull back to look at him.

"You are coming back aren't you?

"Yes I'm coming back. Why would you ask something like that?"

"Your body stiffened like-

"I just don't want to leave."

"Okay." I say and lean back into his chest.

He pulls back and looks at me and kisses me. When I open my eyes he is looking at me with a strange emotion on his face.

"What?" I ask confused.

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

"Finnick?" I ask concerned.

"I just… I just...

He pulls me back into his chest so quickly I'm confused as where to put my hands.

"I just… I love you so… so much." He wraps his arms tightly around me.

"I love you too." I say and hold him for a minute. He kisses me again and pulls back and I smile.

"Your kisses should be illegal for what they do to me." I whisper.

He smiles.

"Then your whole being should be illegal Annie Cresta for how beautiful you are."

I smile

"I have to go. If I don't I will miss my train and I don't know what would-

"It's okay Finnick. I will be alright without you." I say and kiss him. Although I don't think he believes this I barely do.

"Okay." He kisses me. "I'll see you as soon as you step on Capitol soil."

"I will hold you to that." I smile. "I love you Finnick and promise to be careful."

"I love you too and I always am careful Annie." He says and kisses me.

He heads towards the door and looks back before he leaves. I get up and look at the window and watch as he heads to the train station. There goes Finnick Odair the person I love most in this world.

I lay back down on the bed and close my eyes hoping that when I wake up he will be here. If only that would happen.


	72. Chapter 72

**Chapter 72**

I'm sitting outside on the porch and I can feel my muscles stiffening from the cold. It's still spring time but, it chilly out today.

"Hi Annie." I hear Jason say.

I smile.

"Do you care if I-

"You can sit down." I say.

"Good I promised Finnick I would check on you, but it is kind of hard when you try and fend me off." He smiles.

"I'm sorry Jason it's-

"It's fine Annie you never tried to kill me."

"Finnick has tried to kill you?"

"Well technically yes it was right after he got out of the arena he was… really messed up Annie. It didn't really help that I was like twelve."

"I see." I say.

"Here." He says and hands me a mug.

"What's this?"

"Hot apple cider in case I needed to convince you."

"Thanks." I say and take a sip. The heat radiates through my body.

I look around and watch the leaves fall.

I see Marci walk into the village and she isn't alone. She is with a boy who is a bit taller than her. He has brown hair and tan skin.

"Hey Jason."

"Yeah?"

"Who's that with Marci?" I ask

He looks in the direction I am

"That's Bryson."

They are standing close to each other and Marci playfully pushes his shoulder.

"That her boyfriend?"

Jason scoffs.

"Bryson is just her friend Annie."

"But look at that playful push and how she is looking at him and-

"It's just her friend." He says again.

I roll my eyes.

"I think they like each other though. I mean look at them Jason."

"You're reading into things Annie besides she's not that old anyways." Jason says.

"She's sixteen Jason."

"Too young." Jason says.

I roll my eyes.

"Pretty sure youdated a girl in that time or at least kisses a girl."

"I still say he doesn't like her." He says and I can tell he is smiling. I'm pretty sure he knows this.

"Boys are stupid." I whisper.

Marci says goodbye to Bryson and walks over here.

"Hi Marci." I say.

"Hi Annie." She smiles. "We have places to be Jason, unless you need him Annie." She smiles.

"No you can go." I say.

"Great!" She says.

"Bye Annie I'll be back." Jason says.

"Bye." I say and finish the cider.

* * *

I hear a knocking on the door in a few hours and I don't know who it would be. I open the door expecting the worse, but when I open it I see Marci.

"Hi Annie." She smiles.

"Hi Marci."

"Annie I need your help."

"What with?" I ask.

"Annie I have two brothers and while I love them sometimes they can be-

"Dumber than a sack of rocks."

She laughs

"Yes, I don't have a sister and I kinda need advice from a girl and since I know you pretty well I thought-

"It has to do with that Bryson right?"

She blushes.

"Yes."

"Get in here then."

She smiles and heads to the living room.

"Does it have to do with how to tell him you like him."

She shakes her head.

"No he asked me out on a date."

"That's great." I say.

"Yeah, but what am I supposed to do or wear? And is he going to kiss me. How should I deal with that-

"Marci slow down for a second okay." I smile I remember how nervous and excited I was for my first date. I don't have a sister to talk to this about but I had Lana who is as close as a sister. I also had my mom. Mari doesn't have her mom I'm sure she has friends. I should feel honored that she came to me.

She breathes in and out.

"Okay. I'm just... I'm afraid he doesn't like me."

"Marci he likes you or else he wouldn't have asked you out. The hard part is over."

"But what am I going to wear and-

"Well do you know what you're doing?" I ask.

"Not really."

"Okay so it's probably nothing over the top, you should keep it simple." I smile.

"So is this okay?" She asks she is wearing cut off jeans and a sweater that outlines her body. I remember when Marci was thirteen It's nice to see her growing up.

"Is the date today?"

She shakes her head.

"Tomorrow."

"Well then I think new clothes would the best." I smile.

"Oh right." She smiles.

"We should look at your clothes I could help you pick."

Marci looks at me awkwardly.

"What's wrong?"

"Almost all of my clothes are at Michael's and I can't exactly bring them all here."

She doesn't have to say I'm not allowed there because I know that already. I'm sure she doesn't have lots of clothes at Finnick's or at least clothes she wants to wear on a date.

"You can look at my clothes."

"Really?" She asks.

I nod.

We walk up towards my bedroom and head to the closet. I notice she is looking around a lot.

"See something that catches your eye?" I ask

"No I'm just looking to see where my brother lives now."

"Isn't it the same?" I ask.

She smiles.

"Basically but, it smells better." She smiles.

I laugh.

"Let's go to the closet." I say.

Marci looks at most of my clothes and picks out my pink sun dress. It is simple and I don't wear it very often, mostly because I don't like dresses much. The dresses I have were reserved for the reaping of the Hunger Games. I'm glad she liked this one and not the purple one because Finnick would know that is my dress. Because I wore it when he did his starry night festival for me.

She takes my clothes and helps me put the other clothes away.

"Okay we have the outfit down." She smiles

"Is there something else?" I ask.

"How am I supposed to act?" She says.

"Just be yourself." I say.

"But Annie-

"Marci as I said he likes you already so don't change into the person you thinks he wants, just be Marci Odair."

"Okay." She says and we walk downstairs.

"Hey Annie?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he is going to kiss me?"

"I don't know. Just let that happen on it's own." I say.

"But what am I supposed to do?" She asks.

"What do you mean."

"With my mouth and-

"Just let that happen by itself." I say.

"But I've never kissed anyone before and I don't want to mess up."

"Don't think about it too much Marci just go with it." I say.

"Okay."

Marci is about to leave but turns around and hugs me.

"Thanks." She whispers.

"It's no problem Marci."

"I know but, I didn't really know who else to talk to. None of my friends could be of help and I don't have a sister or… mom and like you said Finnick and Jason are as dumb as a sack of rocks." She smiles

"It's no problem Marci and if you ever need to talk about anything else you can just talk to me."

"Thank you." She says.

"I want full details though." I tease

She nods.

"Okay but don't tell Finnick and Jason about this."

I nod.

"Okay."

I smile and watch her walk back to her house.

I feel for Marci because she lost her mother at such a young age. I wonder if she remembers much about her. My dad died the same time and the memories are there, but they are blurry.

I'm just glad she felt comfortable to come to me.


	73. Chapter 73

**Chapter 73**

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tock.

I hear the clock in the living go on and on.

Tick tock.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out.

"Annie? Annie?" I hear my mom say worried.

I look at the clock and notice it has been a few hours.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You have been sitting here for awhile. I was getting worried."she says.

"I'm okay." I whisper.

"Okay." She kisses my forehead. "Dinner will be ready in an hour." She squeezes me and kisses my forehead then goes to the kitchen.

I sit at the kitchen table and push the lobster ravioli around my plate.

"Do you not like this Annie?"

"What?"

"Are you alright sweetie?"

"I'm fine." I say.

"Dinner okay?" She asks as I take a roll.

"Yeah I can't make it as good as you."

She smiles.

"You cook a lot then?"

"Some but not all it depends."

"You like living on your own?"

"When someone else is with me yes. All by myself not so much." I say and can feel my eyes fill with tears.

My mom ignores this and moves on.

"I know Finnick's sister stopped by today. Is she alright?"

"Yeah she just wanted to get some boy advice from me."

"Someone sparked her interest?"

"Yes she has a date with him tomorrow. She borrowed one of my dresses."

"That's lovely."

"Yeah I guess." I push the food around. I say unamused.

"Annie are you sure you're alright?" She asks concerned.

I swallow hard.

"No."

I place my hands over my face.

"Mom I feel like there is something inside my brain."

"What do you mean sweetie."

"Something inside pulling the strings controlling me. Making me see. Making hear things. Making me laugh when noting is funny." I put the silverware down and place my hands on my head.

"Annie there is nothing inside controlling you."

"Then why do I act the way I do screaming, crying, seeing things, and laughing for no rational reason. Also not being able to finish sentences."

"It's okay honey that's-

"It's not fair!" I shout.

"What?" She asks confused.

"There are other victors and they aren't messed up like me. They all call me crazy Cresta too. They all think I'm crazy mom!"

"Annie not everyone reacts the same way to things and I'm sure they don't all think you're crazy."

"The majority do mom." I whisper and cry. "Finnick is the only one who doesn't and he is blinded by love." I place my head on the table and the sound of the clock gets louder.

Tick tock tick tick tock.

"Turn it off." I mutter.

"What?" She either didn't hear me or didn't understand.

I stand up and look for the off switch.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

I push the clock to the ground causing it to break into a thousand pieces.

"Annie what did you do that?"

"It was too loud!" I shout.

"Okay."

I kneel on the floor and start crying.

"It's okay Annie." She says and sits next to me.

"I bet you didn't picture this." I whisper after awhile.

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"Having to stay with your twenty year old daughter because she can't stay by herself. A twenty year old daughter who is afraid to go to sleep. I just am supposed to be able to not need you like this anymore. I'm supposed to be living my life and not be afraid to go into town. I shouldn't need my mom to help take care of me. I should just be me."

"Annie sweetie you live by yourself. You like to take walks by yourself. You like to go stay with Lana."

"But mom-

"And there is no supposed to be Annie there is only this. And Annie." She touches my cheek so I look up and her. "It doesn't matter how old you get or what happens to you because I will always be there for you if you need me because that is what a mom does."

"But mom-

She hugs me and strokes my hair.

"Shhh Annie." She kisses my cheek. "It's okay." She says and I start crying.

"I want to go to bed." I whisper after a while.

She kisses my forehead.

"Okay." She says.

I lie down in bed and press a pillow to my chest. I close my eyes and drift to sleep.

Tick tock tick tock. Is all I hear in my dreams.

* * *

I get out of bed and head downstairs and see Finnick standing at the end of the stairs.

"Finnick?" I say confused.

I walk downstairs but, Finnick is holding his hands up in a stop like motion. I understand why there is a clear walk dividing us.

_It's a dream Annie._ I think to myself.

I can't hear what Finnick is saying, but it doesn't really matter. I see the door open and see Snow.

_It's just a dream Annie._ I think again.

I keep telling Finnick to turn around but he doesn't.

Snow gets close and slits his throat and the blood splatters all over of the transparent wall. Snow smiles and walks way. I bang on the glass but it is no use.

Finnick is holding his neck trying I keep the blood in. He then kneels and falls to the ground and dies. I know it is a dream, but I still panic. Then water starts to stream down and it starts to rise until I am completely submerged.

I bolt away screaming and touch myself it make sure I'm not wet. I'm not and I get up and head downstairs. I start walking around the house and everything that touches my hand gets destroyed.

I start screaming and pulling at my hair and eventually run into a wall and slump down and cry.

My mom comes over and talks to me but I don't respond. She leaves me alone and starts to mess I made.

I'm just sitting against the wall rocking back and forth and shivering.

After what feels like a few hours I stand up and my mom comes towards me.

"Annie are you okay?" She asks.

"I feel better than before." I whisper.

"What happened?" She asked.

I swallow hard.

"It was a dream Finnick was murdered and I drowned. Mom what if Finnick isn't okay."

"Sweetie it was a bad dream." She says and puts hair behind my ear. "You're okay so that means Finnick must be too."

"I want to hear his voice to make sure."

"Annie you can't he can't call you and you can't call him, the number is disconnected remember."

I hug her and start crying.

"It's okay Annie."

I close my eyes trying not to tell her but I do anyways.

"No it is not!" I shout.

"Annie-

"My life has almost come to a completely halt because some boy isn't here to take care of me. I was never like this before. I shouldn't need him to be able to live a day to day life. Yet I do. I need him and it looks like I don't do so well without him. Mom I want to be normal again."

"What are you talking about Annie you are normal."

"I want it to be like before my name got called and where everyone didn't call me crazy Cresta. Where I could walk around and do as I please. Where I could sleep soundly through the night. Where I could be alone. I just want it to be normal with Finnick and have a nice normal life."

"Annie but if you never would've went in you wouldn't have met Finnick."

"At this point I don't really care."

"But Annie-

"Would you give up your sanity for someone you loved."

"I... " She trails off probably not knowing what to say.

"That's what I thought no one in there right mind would give up their sanity for love." I sniffle and start to walk out of the house.

"Annie it's three is the morning." My mom says.

"I don't care." I say and leave the house, she doesn't follow me. I walk and don't stop for a long long time. When I do stop I sit down. I'm on the beach. Which means I have walked a few miles because the beach is farther away from the village. Probably because victors don't need to work on it. I don't remember the last time I was actually at the beach.

I pick up the grains of sand and let it run through my fingers. I also kick off my sandals and feel the sand in between my toes.

"Screw it." I say and lie down in the sand. I know I will probably have sand in my hair for a week but at this point I don't care. I stare at the sky and look at the stars. I pick up the sand and let it slide through my fingers. I do this for hours until I fall asleep.

**A/N: Hello everyone! I just wanted to say that I probably won't post for a couple weeks because I have family coming in and my birthday is also coming up! 21 yay! Anyways thank you for reading! I hope you are liking the story!**


	74. Chapter 74

**A/N: I managed to squeeze out one more chapter! Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 74**

I wake up to the sound of the sea waves and realize I am still on the beach. Not that many people are here yet the sun is just starting to rise. I walk home and the walk is almost an hour because I walked so far.

I walk through the door and feel arms around me instantly.

"Annie I was so worried." My mom says.

"I'm sorry I just needed to be alone."

"I know but you were gone for a long time and you left so early in the morning."

"I'm sorry I'm going to take a shower to try and get rid of this sand."

"Okay." She says.

I take a shower and then walk downstairs and she tells me she has to leave for a few hours.

"Are you sure you will alright because-

"I can be by myself or a few hours. If I start to feel uncomfortable I will call Lana."

"Okay." She hugs me.

"I love you Annie."

"I love you too."

She leaves and after an hour I get out the nail polish again to distract myself. I think it is mostly because it is somewhat calming.

"Maybe I should start drawing." I whisper.

I hear a knock of the front door when I have finished my left hand.

I open the door and see Marci.

"Hi Annie, I have your dress." She says holding it out. "I washed it and everything." She smiles

"Thanks can you put it down I have wet paint." I lift up my hand.

She smiles and places it on the bench in the foyer.

"The last time I painted my nails I was a kid."

"Marci you still are a kid. You're only sixteen." I say.

"I guess with everything that happened in my life I don't feel it. Finnick going into the Hunger Games and my parents dying." She shrugs "For the longest time I thought my parents were still alive. I'm glad I got over that though." She smiles.

"Yeah." I say. "You know Marci if you want too I could paint your nails and you can tell me how it went with Bryson."

She smiles.

"Okay."

"So how was it?" I ask as she picks out an evergreen color.

"It was wonderful, but he didn't kiss me. Does that mean he doesn't like me Annie?"

"No he might not have felt comfortable kissing you."

"Well he did ask to see me again. So..."

"See if he didn't like you he wouldn't have asked to see you again."

"I guess. He liked the dress said I looked beautiful." She blushes.

"Im glad I could help you." I say.

"Thanks." She says. It's silent as Marci is concentrating on her nails. She is trying to make elaborate swirls so when she puts her fingers together it will look connected.

"Hey Annie."

"Yes."

"Did you like Finnick right away?"

I scoff.

"I'm going to take that as a no." She smiles.

"Well I'm sure you have heard of the allegations of what he does in the Capitol ." I don't think she heard about it when she was younger but, I'm sure she has by now.

She nods.

"Finnick told me before he left this time what he really does when he goes there. Disgusting. I mean Snow."

"I know." I say.

"You're still in love with him though even though he is like _with_ all those other people."

"Yes he doesn't love them."

She smiles.

"Well you love him so much now, but you didn't like him at first."

"No because I saw the fake him the one he has to be, but when we were in the Capitol and I was training for the Hunger Games I could tell something about him was strange."

She rolls her eyes.

"It's Finnick, of course it was strange."

I laugh.

"I meant the things he did, they didn't add up."

"Oh." She says.

"But when I "won"" I use air quotes. "I could tell he wasn't that person. A few weeks after we came back he told me what he really did in the Capitol and then it all made sense."

"That when you realized you liked him?" She asks.

"No." I shake my head.

"Then when Annie? " She says.

"I'm getting there." I say and she rolls her eyes and starts painting her toes.

"It was when he came back from a Capitol visit and I was afraid that Snow would make me do want Finnick does. He was going to see you and Jason and right before he left I felt like kissing him and I realized I liked him."

"But you didn't kiss."

"No, but after that Finnick stopped talking to me I realized that I more than liked him because my feelings weren't going away even though he wasn't really-

"Nice." Marci smiles.

"Yeah let's go with that." I smile. "He said he didn't love me until the end of the Victory Tour, but I had to tell him because he was afraid Snow would hurt me or something." I say.

She smiles.

"Finnck says that he kissed you and then you said I love you after."

"Your grandma said that too but, I totally kissed him first."

"Whatever. It doesn't really matter because you are all in love now." She says and is finished. She looks at me like she wants to tell me something.

"What?" I ask.

"You ever think about marrying him?" She asks.

"What?" I ask surprised.

"You know getting married. Legally being bond together. Professing your love in front of all your friends and family. All that good stuff." She smiles.

"I don't know Marci, I've never thought about it besides-

"Well when you get married I want to be there."

"Marci I don't think that will happen because Snow-

"Please, it will happen one day." She says.

"Marci-

"Annie, hate to break this to you but, Finnick's good looks will not last."

I smirk.

"You don't say." I say sarcastically.

"Yup which is a good thing you like his personality for some reason." She smiles. "But, back to the main point as he gets older the looks will fade then when no one wants his old ugliness Snow will free him and then you can marry him."

I laugh.

"You're such a nice sister."

"I try." She smiles. "That deal sucks." She whispers.

"I know." I say.

"I'm so mad at Uncle Michael." She says.

"Why?" I mean there are plenty of reasons."

"He thinks Finnick killed out parents and thinks he goes to the Capitol for selfish reasons, but he knows why he really goes here Annie." She says.

"I know."

She sighs.

"He shouldn't think those things then. I also don't like that he ruined the house for Finnick."

"What do you mean?"

"That house you saw was my parents house, now Michael keeps it. He is just terrible Annie."

"I have seen it first hand Marci." I say.

She nods.

"So how are you?" She says not really meeting my gaze.

"I'm okay." I say.

"That's nice." She say and looks at me. "I miss him." She whispers.

"I do too." I say.

"I think it makes it worse because I know what he is doing there now."

"Don't think about that part too much."

"But Annie he is doing this for us."

"I know, but we can't do anything about that."

"I guess." She whispers

"Marci it's fine."

"Do you think that is why he tried to kill himself?" She whispers.

"I have no idea Marci. He said he felt like a rubber band that had finally snapped."

"He said that to me too. I'm worried about him though Annie."

"So am I." I say.

"He loves you Annie."

"I know." I say confused.

"I don't think you know how much though. He never shuts up about you." She smiles. "And he seems so happy now."

"What do you mean now?"

"Well after our parents died he was really depressed and not so happy. He would try, but we all knew it was somewhat fake. But, now it's like the sun is always shining on him. He really really liked that you asked him to live you."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah." She smiles.

The clock chimes.

"I have to be with Michael now." She rolls her eyes. "Maybe I'll see you again?"

"Okay." I say.

"Bye Annie." She says.

"Bye Marci." She says and walks out the door.


	75. Chapter 75

**A/N: I'm back!**

**Chapter 75**

I hear a knock on the door and answer it right away.

"Lana." I smile.

"Annie." She says and starts to look around.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"I haven't been here since Finnick moved in."

"I see, well it isn't that different."

"Finnick's knick knacks are around here. He actually lives here now." She says surprised

"He has for a while." I say confused.

"I know but, I haven't seen it." She smiles.

She walks towards the kitchen.

"Ah I love these." She says and holds out the dishware.

"Yeah apparently it was his grandmothers."

"Ah yes Pearl the woman who loves you."

"No, it's the other one, his dad's mom."

"The one you haven't met yet."

I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, well Finnick doesn't really talk to her much."

"Why?"

"She lives in the country part of the District."

The country part of the District is where people live to find different kinds of fish. They are wanted more in the Capitol. No one wants to live there because there isn't as many people or life really. There are rumors that the people who get sent to work there are the people who broke the law. Anyone can live there but, most people wouldn't chose to live there.

"Why does she live there, I doubt she needs to work out there."

"After her son died she wanted to get away from it all."

"I'm pretty sure they have phones out there."

I roll my eyes.

"They still talk occasionally, maybe once a month. I think the main reason has to do with that whole guardian thing."

"They had to give it to Michael didn't they?"

"Not exactly, she didn't get asked."

"What?"

"They appointed Pearl and when she 'couldn't' do it they just stuck with that side of the family."

"So she doesn't talk with him at all?" She asks.

"No she talks with him just not as much as he does with Pearl. She was at the hospital when he tried to kill himself they just aren't as close. Which isn't unusual, are you close to your grandparents?"

"Not really and yours are dead so..." She pauses "If you knew she was at the hospital why didn't you meet her?"

"I saw her in passing and I asked who it was. He said it was his Grandma or 'Nana'."

"The cute nicknames he has for them." She smiles

I roll my eyes.

"I called mine Mima and Pop Pop."

"Well I just stick with Grandma and Grandpa."

"Well la de da."

"She look like him?" She asks.

"Looks more like Jason or Marci. Finnick looks just like his mother." She nods.

"Wouldn't she want to be there because their parents just died?"

"They're not the only ones who lost them, she lost her son."

"I want to meet her." She says with a smile.

"Well, you could talk to Jason. Have you even met Pearl?"

"Yup, she's lovely."

"I feel so old talking about this."

"Finnick's got it easy only your mom."

I shrug.

"She loves Finnick."

"Your mom loves almost everyone."

"Well then." I smile.

"I want to see the rest of the house."

We walk to the bedroom.

"Man, Finnick has a lot of clothes."

"Why wouldn't he? You have lots of clothes."

"I dunno. I think it is because it looks like he wears the same thing everyday."

"No he doesn't."

"Uh yeah he does. Shorts and a tee shirt and they are all like the same color; gray, black, green, blue. That's it, he really should expand on that."

"Hey, he has different winter clothes."

"Well yeah but they all look the same just not to you." She smiles and lies down on the bed. "Should I lie here because this is where the magic happens." She teases.

"They're clean sheets." I say.

She sits up.

"That's not the answer I was expecting."

"Sorry."

"You would usually say something about how no magic happens in this bed." She looks at me "Annie Cresta have you done something with Finnick Odair."

"Maybe." I whisper.

"Annie look at you got your own house and a boyfriend who you do fun things with. I should get my own house."

"Why so you can fool around with Jason?"

"No. I'm not going to do that anytime soon." She smiles. "You want to go into town or something?"

"I don't know." I say and look at the ground.

"We don't have to, but I think some fresh air will do you good. At least let's walk around the village."

"Okay." I say and we walk around the village. "We can go into town just not the busy part." I say.

"Okay we can get ice cream."

"Okay." I say.

We get to the ice cream stand.

"Hello ladies what can I get for you/"

Lana and I both look at each other.

"You got sea salt ice cream still?" I ask.

"Yes ma'am do you want a pint or a cone?"

"Pint." Lana and I say at the same time.

We sit on the bench and eat it out if the carton. I take a bite and the taste of salt and sweetness hits my tongue and feels nice.

"I don't remember the last time we did this." She says.

"I do, it was right before they closed and we watched the sunset. It was right before the Hunger Games. My games."

"Ah yes, that is when I was seeing Matt."

"I like how you use time frames by the guy you were seeing at the time."

"Well I did like to see lots of people, but now I'm in love."

"Woah woah woah back up."

"What?"

"You just said the four letter 'L' word Lana I didn't know you loved Jason."

"Well I do and he knows"

"Awwe."

"Don't make this a cute thing."

"Okay." I say and smile. "Jason and Lana sitting in a tree doing somethin they shouldn't be." I say and she shoves my shoulder.

"I said no cute stuff"

"Well, I could've done the whole first come love then comes marriage ordeal."

She rolls her eyes

We eat the ice cream and head back to my house and take the leftovers with us.

We get back to the village and see Jason and Marci outside Finnick's house.

I wave and we head inside.

"So whatcha doing tomorrow?" I ask Lana.

"Jason's birthday, gonna do something for that."

"I see." I say.

"Why? Did you want to see me again tomorrow?" She asks. She sounds worried.

"No, just curious."

"Okay, it probably won't be an all day thing so-

"Lana chill, I was genuinely curious." I say truthfully.

"Okay, so what do you got going on tomorrow?" She asks.

"Nothing really, probably chores and head to Finnick's house to retrieve some things."

"What?"

"Well, we got rid of some of my crap and it is at Finnick's house for storage along with the other crap he doesn't need often."

She nods

"Well doing house work and going over to Finnick's house sounds like a blast." She says sarcastically.

"I have to be doing something or else I will be wracking my brain worrying about Finnick." I say.

"I know." She stands up and kisses my forehead then hugs me. "I should go, I don't want to walk home in the dark." She says.

"Okay. I'll see you later."

"You certainly will." She says and I roll my eyes.

"Bye Mrs. Cresta." She says as walking outside. My mom must've just came back.

"Hello Annie." She says and hugs me.

"Hi mom."

"How was your day?"

"Fine, Lana came over and we went into town to get some ice cream and... mom why are you looking at me like that?" I say because she has a surprised look in her eyes.

"You haven't been to town in a while I'm just surprised." She smiles. "A good surprised." She says.

"I was too." I smile.

We eat dinner and go to sleep. Thankfully tonight I only woke up screaming once instead of the usual four times.

* * *

I walk around the house and start cleaning just like I told Lana I would.

I start to do the laundry and sigh. Laundry is not exactly my favorite chore it is my turn, and it's not like Finnick is around to do it.

"Finnick will be doing this for a whole month" I mutter because we switch off on what to do. Unless someone is feeling generous. It is mostly to keep order for keeping things clean which I like and Finnick never really objected.

I put a new load in and take the old stuff out. I place them in the basket and head upstairs.

I sit on the floor and start folding. I start to put it away. I head to the closet and start placing things in drawers and on hangers.

I open the drawer that holds Finnick's t shirts which is almost empty. He must have taken some to the Capitol. I thought he could only wear Capitol clothes there. It doesn't matter to me though.

I'm about to dump the shirts in, but I see a piece of paper on the bottom. I pick it up and under it is a key.

I pick it up and twirl it in my hand.

"I wonder what you unlock." I whisper.


	76. Chapter 76

**Chapter 76**

I wake up rather late today because I couldn't shut my brain off, I kept wondering what that key goes to. I was also curious as to why it was hidden under a blank piece of paper. Maybe it was meant to be a distraction. I don't think hiding this in a clothing drawer is the smartest idea. Then again Finnick is terrible at hiding things so I know he did this. He hides things in the stereotypical places as a prime example under a bunch of clothes. If he really wanted this to be cliché he should have hid it in the sock drawer.

I get up out of bed and see the laundry is still everywhere. After I found that key I looked around the rest of the room to see if I could find anything else. It isn't right and I know I shouldn't be trying to figure out his secret because he isn't going to tell me even if he was on his death bed. Whatever he is hiding from me will be taken to his grave. The only people who will know, will be the ones involved. A part of me wishes I knew what this secret was but, another part doesn't because he and other people say he is protecting me; even though I don't need protection.

I sigh.

"Why can't everything just stay magically clean?" I mutter on my way to the shower which is irregularly long. It is probably because I'm still tired even though it is noon, or it could be because I have nothing better to do than sit around all day wondering if Finnick is alright or if I will be alright. I'm actually excited for this years Hunger Games because once it all starts I will be able to see Finnick.

I think if Snow could, he would put all of us in rooms for solitary confinement and take us out when he needed us like dolls. I think the only reason he doesn't do that is because it would drive us all into insanity. Also more people would slowly figure out how controlling this government is or how much we all hate it.

I dry off, get dressed, and head to Finnick's house. Today I need a new distraction and don't feel like cleaning. When Finnick moved in I got rid of some stuff that I didn't use very often. It was my suggestion because he had more space over there and almost all of his stuff is here now.

I didn't put many things over there just some junk that I couldn't bring myself to get rid of even though I know I should. The only thing that I care about that is over there is my art supplies. I haven't really touched them since my Victory Tour. I did a little but, as time moved on and on I stopped because it just reminded me of the Victory Tour or the Capitol because I had to make something for them. Drawing didn't seem as fun anymore even though Finnick thought it would be a good idea, especially after Snow took me because drawing is supposed to be one of those universal things that helps people relax but, when it has other things tied into it, it isn't exactly relaxing.

I put the key in the lock and step inside. The last time I was here was when we were moving all his stuff. The house seems different now and not exactly in a good way. Finnick spent so little time here after I came home from Snow's mansion. I know he didn't care because he doesn't really like this house he never did. His parents physically dragged him here and he kept leaving every night because he couldn't get 'it' to stop. Finnick doesn't tell me how he was right after his games. At first I thought it was because it was so long ago and he blocked it out. But really it is because he doesn't want to remember, which is understandable, but it makes me see that he didn't always have it together. He does more than I do... he almost seems normal. Almost everyone that Finnick knows tells me he changed since I came along. I think they are over exaggerating though.

I wish I knew him before actually if I'm wishing for things I wish he knew me before. He would see the normal person I was. I don't think I would even recognize that person anymore. I always wonder if Finnick would've liked me before or if he just likes me now because I'm damaged and I _need_ him. I think even if Finnick disliked me he would still be there because he is too good of a person to watch someone he can help suffer.

I snap back to reality and see that the house is still being used by Marci and Jason. They must be able to leave when Finnick isn't even here. They could leave when he was but, I'm pretty sure they would be paying for it later at least Jason would.

I head to the upstairs closet where we put all my art supplies. I turn the knob but it doesn't budge.

"Maybe it's stuck." It gets stuck when it is very hot but it isn't hot today. It is a brisk spring day. I try to open it again and again. I then realize it is not stuck or jammed. It's locked.

I head downstairs and look at the places where Finnick keeps the keys. You are given multiple keys when you move in. I don't know why someone would be stupid enough to steal from a victor. I'm sure the victors wouldn't do as much damage as the peacekeepers would.

I get to the kitchen and take the small green bowl that holds the keys. I sit down and start to look at the keys each one carefully labeled. I pick up the circle holding all of them together.

"Front door" I say and place it down. "Back door." I say and place it back down. "Basement." place it back down "Porch door." put it back down. "Side door." put it back down. "Key to Michael's." put it back down "Key to our house." I say and smile because he changed the label from Annie's house to our house.

"That's all of them." I whisper.

Maybe I could ask Marci or Jason if they know the deal with that closet.

I start to head to the door and see it is raining buckets outside.

"Of course it's raining." I say. I walk to the foyer closet and start to say a poem my dad did when it was raining to calm me down.

_April showers bring May flowers, _  
_That is what they say. _  
_But if all the showers turned to flowers, _  
_We'd have quite a colourful day! _

_There'd be bluebells and cockleshells, _  
_Tulips red and green, _  
_Daffodils and Chinese squill, _  
_The brightest you've ever seen. _

_You'd see tiger lilies and water lilies, _  
_Carnations pink and blue, _  
_Forget-me-not and small sundrop _  
_Glistening with the dew. _

_We'd have fireweed and milkweed _  
_And many more different flowers. _  
_Mexican star and shooting star, _  
_Falling in the showers. _

_And if all the showers turned to flowers _  
_On that rainy April day, _  
_Would all the flowers turn to showers _  
_In the sunny month of May?_

"Where are you?" I say to myself because I can't find the umbrella. I turn on the light and find it almost immediately. I probably should've done that first.

"There you are." I say with a smile. I'm about to close the door but, see more stuff in the closet. I pick up one of the boxes on the top shelf and look at it strangely.

"What are you doing here?" I ask myself as I'm holding my paint supplies.

I leave the foyer and go to the stairs to check to make sure I didn't imagine them to be in the upstairs closet.

I get to the stair case and see it. The hot purple streak on the cool dark wood. The box got dropped when we were taking it upstairs and the paints went on the stairs and the wall. We cleaned up most of it but, some of it stuck. It doesn't matter Finnick hates this place. I think he would set it on fire if he knew he wouldn't get in trouble.

But since the paint mark is on the stairs that means that these boxes have been moved. Which must mean that Finnick or someone put something in that closet, something they don't want anyone to know about. Maybe not just anyone, maybe just me.

I walk back downstairs, grab the umbrella, and head to my house. I don't take the supplies because it is raining too hard and they could easily get ruined. I get home and am very wet. Even though I had an umbrella it wasn't helpful. The winds are strong and we will probably be issued a weather alert later tonight.

I get inside and head upstairs to take a shower because I'm shivering. I get dressed and put on my comfy clothes which is an oversized hoodie and cut off pajama pants. The hoodie isn't mine though, it's Finnick's.

I walk downstairs and start to clean. I can't draw so I will do the only other thing I can do to distract myself, even though I hate cleaning. My mom is home and would probably do this but, I need something to do and it is my house she shouldn't do the cleaning.

I'm vacuuming and everything is being drowned out by the loud annoying sound. The vacuum turns off suddenly and I look at it confused.

"Annie." My mom says and I turn around. "I was going to make some lunch do you want some?" She asks.

"I'm okay." I say.

"Annie you haven't eaten anything all day." She says. I didn't even realize this. I guess the waking up late and going over to Finnick's must have distracted me but, still I'm not very hungry.

"Oh... well I'm not really hungry."

She walks over and wraps her around me and starts leading me to the kitchen.

"I think you can mange to eat something." She says and heads to the kitchen. She gives me an assortment of fruit and a glass of milk. I don't object and I watch her make a sandwich for herself.

"Mom?" I ask.

Before she can answer we hear the siren and the voice that shortly follows _District 4 weather conditions are severe you must stay inside until further notice. If you try to leave there will be consequences._

During winter people don't worry as much when this happens but, when it is a storm like this in the middle of the work day people do worry more. The waves and everything is much, much worse and it is easier to worry when someone you care about is on a fishing boat right now.

Compared to other Districts we don't have it hard but, this is one of those times where it doesn't matter where you live because we all have bad weather that can destroy everything in a little amount of time. That is something President Snow will never be able to control.

There is usually one warning in winter but, multiple ones in the spring. The spring time ones are worse and as soon as the restrictions are over people go down to the boating dock to see if the person they love is alright. It takes a few days for all of them to come back. They give it a week before they declare the people who's ship didn't return dead.

That's what happened to my father. My mom and I both knew when he didn't come back the second day he wasn't coming home. A small part of me hoped he would though. I hoped that for a long time, I finally realized that, that wasn't going to happen.

There are usually multiple people who die in the spring time because of the weather. If we weren't ordered by the Capitol when to work and come back those deaths could probably have been avoided because you can tell when a bad storm is about to hit. But, we can't do that because we are owned by someone else. Someone who pulls the strings.

"Yes." She says after the announcement is over.

"Do you remember where the keys are from when I moved in?" I ask.

"They should be on the key tree." She says.

"Oh right that."

She smiles.

"Did you get rid of that when Finnick moved in?"

"No it's still there." I say and walk towards the foyer table. I get all the keys from the key tree and sit back down next to my mom.

"Why do you want the keys Annie?"

"I went to Finnick's house to get my art supplies and the closet we put them in was locked. I figure if I find a key that locks my closet I will know what to look for in Finnick's house."

"Okay but Annie-

"Yes?"

"The closets, they don't lock."

"Well one in Finnick's house does." I say.

She shrugs.

"Maybe because his house is older." She says I can tell she doesn't believe this.

"I guess." I say and eat the last slice of peach.

I go through the keys and find the same ones that were in his except I have a key to my mom's house and not Michael's.

I sigh.

"You find anything?" My mom asks.

"No." I say disappointed.

"Well, you can probably ask him when he comes home."

"I can but, he won't tell me."

"What makes you say that Annie?" She asks.

"Remember when I said Finnick was keeping secrets from me."

She nods.

"I think this is tied into it so he won't tell me."

"Well, if you think that is the case then you shouldn't be snooping around."

"But mom-

"But Annie." She says and I roll my eyes. "He doesn't want you to know for a good reason."

"Well, I'm a curious person I think we all are. It is just human nature."

"Still does it feel right to do this?" She asks me and I can tell she knows the answer already.

I sigh.

"Not really." I say.

"But, not no." She says.

"Mom, if I don't try it, it will just bother me more than it already is." I say.

She sighs.

"Alright. I just don't want you to get hurt Annie."

"I'm not going to get hurt." I say

She studies me.

"Okay." She says and kisses my forehead. She wants to say more but, won't because she knows it is no use.

I get up and start cleaning again. I clean until I go to bed.

"Night." I tell my mom as I head upstairs.

"Goodnight Annie." She responds.

I head into my room and stumble over the laundry basket.

"I should really put those away." I say and get ready for bed. I turn off the light and lay in bed my eyelids start to get heavy and right as I'm about to fall asleep I bolt up making a connection. I turn on the bedside lamp and pick up the key I found in Finnick's t-shirt drawer.

"So that's what you unlock." I say twirling it around in my hands. "A closet in Finnick's house." I place the key back down and try to go asleep. I know I'm right about this. I doubt Finnick has many things that he is hiding under a lock and key.

I will investigate as soon as the weather alert has been lifted and maybe I will be able to find out what he has been hiding from me.

**A/N: Thank you for reading! I just wanted to mention that the poem in this chapter is by Karen Chappell and it is called April showers. My dad would say this to me when I was little when it was a terrible thunderstorm I know almost all the words still ahhh childhood lol. Just wanted to give credit to the person who wrote it. Again thank you for reading! **


	77. Chapter 77

**Chapter 77**

The weather alert ended after two days. I didn't like this storm. The loud thunder and high winds made me very uncomfortable and I was crying harder than usual. I cry all the time but this was different. I just needed someone to hold me. My mom did and stayed with me pretty much 24/7. I usually wouldn't like that but, I did this time.

I'm glad it's over, but now the roof is leaking and it needs to be repaired and because it is technically owned by the Capitol no one in District 4 will touch it. Which means a Capitol repair person has to come and fix it.

I'm about to leave the house to go to Finnick's, but my mom stops me.

"Annie I think you have to be here when the repair person shows up."

"I'm just going to Finnick's for a few minutes to get my art supplies." I say.

"I can do that Annie." She says and starts to walk towards the door.

"No just stay here." I say.

"Okay." She says. She wants to object but, doesn't. I think she knows it has to do with that locked closet. I have been debating if I should just leave it or open it to see what he is hiding. I'm too curious not to look but, I know if he finds out I opened the closet will be very, very angry at me. That fact alone should stop me but, it isn't.

"I'll be right back. Besides they said Mags' and Luna's house needs to be fixed as well."

"Okay, just don't be away too long Annie." She says.

"I'll he right back." I say again.

She nods and I leave. There are tree branches everywhere and almost everything outside has been destroyed, even my porch swing.

I head over to Finnick's house and put the key in the door but, notice it is unlocked. I assume Marci and Jason are here. They stay here when Finnick isn't to get away from Michael.

I walk through the door and see Marci but her face falls a little.

"I can come back later I-

"No, I just thought you would he someone else."

"You expecting someone?" I ask confused.

"Yeah Nana she is coming later to celebrate Jason's birthday. She will be staying here for a week. I thought it would be okay because-

"This was never my house Marci I only came here to… get my art supplies." I say which isn't a lie I do want to get those and since their grandmother will be staying here it would make sense to get them now.

"Okay." She smiles.

"Where's Jason?" I ask.

"Getting Nana. I was worried because of the storm but, she called a little while ago." She pauses. "She wouldn't mind meeting you Annie. Finnick talks to her about you too."

"How often does he talk to her?" I ask.

She shrugs

"Probably once a month but I do it almost everyday." She smiles.

"Really?" I ask surprised because she doesn't see Pearl every day like Finnick and Jason do.

"Yup, I like Nana. I like Gran too Annie. I just like talking to Nana more."

"I see."

"You're probably wondering why I have it the other way around."

"It's not my business." I say.

She smiles.

"I love Gran but, I don't know... she sometimes acts weird around me. I think it has to do with the whole Michael thing."

"What about him?" I ask confused.

"How Jason and Finnick both knew him before our parents died, when he was nice. Our parents dying just messed him up. I think she feels guilty because I will always view her son as a monster."

Marci was probably too young to remember all the things Michael did to Finnick. Jason said Finnick was eight or nine so Marci would've been a toddler. Jason probably didn't tell her because he knew she would tell Finnick. I'm sure Pearl is doing the same thing, but Jason probably has an easier time hiding this information.

"I doubt that is it Marci."

She shrugs

"It doesn't matter I still see Gran more than once a week and I'm okay with that."

"Do they like each other?" I ask.

"Yeah why would you ask?" She asks.

"Just curious." I say. I don't know how much Marci knows but considering Michael goes around calling Finnick a mistake I'm sure she knows most of the story. In a situation like that you would expect their to be bitterness.

I wonder if Finnick ever worries about that happening with a client. I'm sure Snow would _take care of it_ if such an incident would occur. I remember Snow telling me this deal was very complex. I wonder if this is one of the layers to it.

Apparently before the sale can be completed the client has to do all these things. Most of them medical related. I wonder what they do to them. I think I could figure out most of it on my own. They have probably perfected it over the years by things that have happened, infections being spread. I wonder if these clients are actually putting themselves in harms way just to say they slept with a victor. If that is the case they are stupider than I ever thought.

I will never know the answers to these questions because I'm not asking Finnick. He doesn't like talking about it. It is only discussed when he brings it up. He does the same to me. I have so many things that bother me that he has stopped asking why I'm upset and just comforts me. He knows if it was truly bothering me I would tell him.

"Well I better get my things." I say and open the foyer closet to get all my art supplies.

"Okay Annie. It was nice to see you." She says and I take my things and walk back to my house.

The Hunger Games start in two weeks. Marci said their grandmother would be there for a week. That means I still have a window to find out what is in that closet.

* * *

I walk downstairs and am drawing something. It's not anything very interesting. I'm just trying to keep my mind at ease.

I hear the phone ring and ring and ring. I don't bother getting it because I have no one who would call me. After it stops it just starts ringing again. My mom comes downstairs and answers the phone. She has a strange expression on her face.

"I'm sorry but he isn't in." She says and eyes me. "Yes she is here." My mom motions for me to stand next to her. "I'm handing the phone to her now."

"Who is it?" I whisper.

"I don't know. Someone important from the Capitol." She says and hands me the phone.

"H-hello?" I say shakily.

"Miss. Cresta stay on the line while I connect you to President Snow."

"Wait what?" I ask but I hear music.

"What is it?" My moms asks but, before I can answer the music stops and I hear a voice.

"Miss. Cresta good I have a problem in my midst." I hear the bone chilling voice of Snow.

"What kind of problem?" I ask.

"Finnick is… missing I guess is the best way to describe it."

"What are you talking about?" I say. My voice is a mix of rage and worry. He should know where Finnick is, especially since he owns him.

"He went out to see someone and he never came back. I was wondering when he made contact with you." Snow says.

"I haven't heard from Finnick since he left. If I would've heard from him by now I wouldn't be crying everyday." I say.

"Well Miss Cresta I want to believe you, but I think you might be lying."

"I'm not lying! I don't know where he is! If you own him shouldn't you be keeping better tabs on him! Shouldn't you be making sure he is alright! If you-

"She doesn't know where he is." I hear Snow say to someone else.

"Hello?" I say angrily. I can feel tears build up in my eyes.

"So sorry Miss. Cresta for bothering you. I will let you get back to your day-

"Hang on." I say.

"Yes." He says smugly I can tell he is smiling.

"You can't just call me and tell me you have no idea where Finnick is and then say goodbye."

"Well you don't know so I don't know why we should keep talking-

"When you find him I want to know."

"I can grant you that request Miss. Cresta."

"I want to hear his voice to make sure." I say.

"Fine you will get less than a minute with him. Alright." He says and it isn't a question.

"Alright."

"Good, now I have to find him Miss. Cresta." Then the phone line goes dead.

"What's wrong?" My mom asks.

"They don't know where Finnick is." I whisper.

"Do you think he tried to leave?" She asks.

"No, Finnick isn't that stupid." I say.

"Do you think..." She trails off.

"What?" I ask.

"Do you think he tried to hurt himself?" She asks.

She asks the thing I was thinking but, didn't want to verbalize. I don't think he would but, I didn't think he would last time either.

"I don't think so Mom." I say.

She nods and I hug her.

"I'm sure he's alright Annie." She whispers.

"Okay." I say.

The whole day I wait by the phone, but it doesn't ring. I figure Snow either lied to me or they didn't find him. I hope that isn't the answer I hope Snow just didn't keep his word. I hope they found Finnick.

I head up to bed and figure he isn't going to call. I go to sleep but, I start to hear a faint ringing. I'm trying to drown it out and just sleep but, then I realize it might be Finnick calling. I look at the clock and see it is four in the morning.

"Hello?" I say into the phone still hazy.

"Annie." I hear Finnick say and it is like I have been awake all day. Finnick's voice sounds tired and strained. I can tell he is hurt. I hear lots of commotion in the background too.

"Are you alright, you sound hurt Finnick?"

"I'm fine Annie, I'm going to be seeing you two weeks. I'm okay." He says.

"But Finnick why didn't they know where you were?"

"A misunderstanding between a client. Snow already took care of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Snow he-

"What happened to you Finnick?" I ask not really caring about what Snow did to the person.

"It would take too long to explain and they said I didn't have much time with you."

"Okay." I whisper.

"Annie, I love you and I'm alright. Please don't cry." He says gently. He probably knows I'm about to break down.

"I love you too." I say as a tear rolls down my cheek.

I hear an announcement in the background and know where Finnick is.

"Finnick why are you in the hospital?" I ask worried.

"I love you Annie." He says again.

"That didn't answer my question." I say.

"Don't worry about me I'm fine. I'll be seeing you in two weeks." He says gently. I wish I could hug him right now. I can tell by his voice he needs one.

"I love you too Finnick." I whisper and then the phone line goes dead. I wish I could've had a few more minutes with him. I don't think Finnick tried to hurt himself from what he told me which is good.

I place the phone back and lay down. I press a pillow to my chest and cry.

I don't know what the hell is going on in the Capitol, but I do know one thing. Finnick got hurt. I could tell by his voice. I wonder if they do background checks on the clients or if it's just take the money and ask questions later. I would think they would do it with Finnick because the way Snow talks about how valuable he is they wouldn't let him in harms way. In case he was killed or his face got mauled or something. That's all Capitol people care about. Appearances.


	78. Chapter 78

**Chapter 78**

I run my fingers through my hair. I didn't sleep at all last night because I was so worried about Finnick. I'm smart enough to know not to press that redial button. A part of me doesn't care what's in that closet anymore. I just want to know about Finnick.

I can feel my eyes fill up with tears just thinking about him, lying in a hospital bed with a bunch of IVs in his arm.

I hear a knock on my door and it slowly opens. My mom walks in when she sees I'm awake.

"Annie are you okay?" She asks.

"I'm fine." I lie.

"Your throat hurt?" She asks because I was screaming so much last night. I was thinking about all the awful things that could have happened to Finnick.

"I'm okay." I say.

"Good." She goes over and hugs me. "Don't worry Annie he's fine." She whispers.

"I don't know-

"If he wasn't okay he wouldn't have called sweets."

"But, why was he in the hospital?"

"I don't know Annie." She says and kisses my forehead. "He's okay now and that is all that matters." She wraps her arm around me and starts rocking me back and forth.

"What if he dies there mom." I whisper.

"He isn't going to die there Annie." She says and kisses my forehead.

"You don't know that." I whisper.

"He is going to be okay." She says and wipes the tears away.

* * *

I get up and sigh. It's been a week and I know Finnick's grandma is gone. I thought about meeting her, but then I found out that Finnick got hurt and I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I wondered if I should have told anyone else but, didn't because I don't really have anything to tell. I didn't want to worry anyone else.

Even though Finnick is hurt I am still going to venture into that closet. I feel more morally wrong about doing this now but, I don't have that much else to do.

The leaky roof was fixed and the Capitol person was nice and normal. I cleaned that room even though I have never used it before. After that I had nothing more to clean and I wouldn't feel comfortable cleaning Finnick's house.

I walk slowly over to his house. I see the groundskeepers cleaning everything up. I smile at them and they return the smile.

I unlock the door and head up the stairs to the closet. I have the key in my hand and am right in front if the door. It might not even open this which means I have something else to wonder about. I put the key in the lock and twist it. I hear it unlock and slowly open the door.

I turn on the light and am not very excited. I don't know what I was expecting maybe someone trapped in here, a bunch of computer screen, maybe a secret portal to the Capitol. But all I see is a stack of files... a lot of files.

"I guess it was just junk." I mutter. "Then why would it be locked?" I ask myself.

I pick one up and open it. It is in Finnick's handwriting but other peoples as well. I get a good look at the papers and it is mostly gibberish. I do' t understand most of it.

I pick up another one and it makes more sense because they are connected.

"Are these all talking about the same thing?" I whisper.

I pick up three or four files and head back home. I head to the study which I have never really used. I lie them down on the desk and open them.

I sigh.

"This is going to take awhile." I say because each file probably has fifty plus pages. "This is good though. I need something to do distract me from Finnick being in a hospital.

I get up and go to my room to retrieve my reading glasses. If I read for a long time I start to get headaches because of my vision. It only happens when I read. I think it is all in my head but, when I wear the glasses I don't get headaches.

When I wear them Finnick says I look smart but he knows otherwise and I smile.

"Finnick." I whisper as I head back to the study.

I sit on the chair and open the first file. It is a report from three months ago. It's from all the Capitol visits but, it says other stuff he did and things he gained.

I read the others and they are pretty similar. I notice patterns of people he talked with. The thing I found most interesting was the last page in all of these is a page titled _Secrets_.

Some of them aren't very interesting until this months file. I have a full report from a woman who Finnick has mention more than once and it is a story of how Snow became President.

"He killed lots of people." I whisper.

I shouldn't be surprised, but it says he even killed friends to make sure he would stay in power. Of course he didn't out right stab them he stuck do what he was good at. He stuck with accidents or at least that was the excuse. He actually poisoned the people around him.

"Wouldn't they expect him at least once." I mutter.

_Drank the poison himself to clear his name. That is why he smells like roses Finnick, to hide the smell of the soars he has in his mouth from the poison_.

I see written in a puffy penmanship. It isn't Finnick's I wonder who it belongs to.

I see a name written in all of files. In all the reports, contacted list and follow ups. The name is everywhere.

"Who the hell is Plutarch Heavensbee?"

* * *

"Welcome District Four to the reaping for the 73rd Annual Hunger Games." Aries shouts into the microphone.

I read most of the files in that closet but stopped because I didn't really understand most of it and because I started to feel really, really bad. Especially since Finnick is hurt. I try and push that from my mind. I don't want to be on a train to the Capitol alone. I know I won't be able to handle this well.

I'm just going to try and stay in my room for as long as I can bear it. I could just stay on the opposite side of the train as everyone else, it is a big train. I know Aries will be bothering me and so will the tributes so it doesn't really mater where I hid.

I sigh.

_You can get through this. You will be seeing Finnick within forty eight hours... hopefully. _I think to myself.

I place my hands on my face. Even trying to comfort myself isn't working because Finnick still might be hurt.

"He's alright." I whisper.

"Annie." I hear and feel a pat on my shoulder.

I look up and see Mags sitting next to me, smiling.

"Are you alright?" She asks

"I'm fine." I say.

"Don't worry Annie, it won't be so bad." She says and smiles.

I wonder if she knows about Finnick then a thought occurs to me that hasn't before.

I wonder how many people Snow called to try and find Finnick. I wonder how many people he called before me.

* * *

The train finally rolls into the station and Aries escorts us to the makeup plaza.

I stand at the Four station and am looking around trying to see if I can find Finnick.

I feel someone squeeze my hips and jump.

"Annie relax." I hear Finnick say.

"Finnick you jerk." I say and turn around. Finnick would look okay if he wasn't so pale he looks a little skinner too.

I don't ask any questions I just hug him. He takes my hand and walks us over to a more isolated section.

"Why are you so pale?" I ask.

"Lost some blood." He says.

"What?"

"It was a lot." He says and holds my hand and brings them to his lips. "They said it was close to a liter or maybe half of one the point is-

"Finnick, you only have like 6 liters in your body and you called me not long ago you should be in a hospital still." I say.

"Annie I'm fine." He kisses my cheek. "I feel tired and a little woozy but, over all I'm okay. They did have to cancel the rest of clients as of two days ago because I-

"I don't care about that Finnick. What happened to you.."

"Annie I will probably be paying for that later." He mutters.

"Finnick hey." I say and pull his head up so he is looking at me "I don't care about that right now. I just want to know why you were in the hospital."

"I'll tell you in the room." He says and I nod. "So how were you?" He asks.

"I've been better." I hug him. I missed him so much. The last time we were apart for this long was when he was trying to avoid me. I grip him tighter and he rubs my back.

"I love you Annie." He says

I don't say anything and just keep hugging him.

I feel him touch my shoulders and I look up confused.

"We have to go upstairs now." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

We get to the floor and walk to my room and Aries yells at us but we don't stop.

"Okay Finnick what happened?" I ask.

He kisses me instead of giving me an answer. Normally I would be annoyed by this but, I haven't seen him for so long.

He stops kissing me and pulls me to his chest.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too."

"So what happened?" I ask again.

"I went to see a client and they didn't really like me."

"Then why would they buy you?" I ask.

"Well apparently for my games they bet almost very thing they had on a different tribute, they became stone cold broke and had to pawn almost everything-

"How did they buy you then, aren't you like really expensive?"

"Yes I am… I don't know how they bought me but, they did. The usual stuff happened went to the client house have an awkward conversation and then get to business." He pauses.

"Then what happened?" I ask.

"They took me to a fun room."

"You mean the kind Cynthia had?"

"Pretty similar anyways they did the same thing brought me there restrained me and-

"You didn't find that odd?"

He scoffs

"Annie that is a sexual desire that people have. It happens more often than you think."

"Oh." I say.

"Then they got a knife which I wasn't totally worried about some of them like to draw blood." He pauses. "But, the look in his eyes told me something bad was going to happen. Then he stabbed me and I started bleeding profusely. I started to feel woozy and remember a commotion going on before I passes out. When I woke up I was in the hospital. I was there for probably a day. They signed me out even though the doctor wanted me to stay for a week. They had me see a client and I passed out and the client was unsatisfied because of this. I will be paying for that later as well."

"Why didn't they just let you stay in the hospital?" I ask.

"Because I had to do my _job_." He says.

"Why would this person wait almost ten years to kill you?" I ask.

"Maybe they were saving up so they could do this." He shrugs. "It doesn't really matter." He says.

I hug him.

"I love you Finnick... so much." I whisper. "And I'm glad you're alright."

He take a sharp breath and is wincing.

"What?" I ask.

"The stitches haven't exactly healed yet. Doctors said the person who stabbed me knew what they were doing because they missed all main arteries. They wanted me to bleed out slowly."

I hug him.

"How bad is it?" I whisper.

He let's go of me and takes off his shirt. He has multiple stab wounds on his chest and abdomen.

"Finnick." I whisper and place my hands over them. The stitches feel rough and it isn't a couple stitches each wound has more than five.

I hug him and run my hands over his back. His skin is soft and smooth and he feels so warm in my arms.

"I'm okay Annie."

"You don't look okay." I whisper.

"It's just a few scrapes."

"That's not a few scrapes Finnick. You were in the hospital, you almost bled to death." I say.

He runs his fingers through my hair and kisses me.

"Annie it doesn't matter I'm okay now." He says and sits down and puts me on his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean my head against his chest. I'm leaning right against his heart because I can hear it beating strongly.

I start crying and the tears fall down my face and onto Finnick's bare chest.

"Why are you crying?" He asks and kisses my forehead.

"I'm afraid for you."

"Annie don't worry about me, I'm fine and this won't be happening again. Snow is stepping up the security level... big time."

"Okay." I whisper.

"The only thing you need to worry about right now is getting through this Capitol visit." He kisses the top of my head and I look up at him.

"I love you Finnick." I say.

"I love you too." He says. I sit here for awhile while and he runs his finger up and down my spine.

"I love you." I say again.

"I love you too Annie." He whispers and kisses me. "Stand up." He says.

"Okay." I say a little confused.

"You're just so heavy." He teases.

"Finnick." I say and stand up.

"Annie." He says mocking my voice. I roll my eyes and walk away pretending to be mad.

He puts his shirt back on and comes up behind me and places his hands around my waist. He leans his head in the crook of my neck and I practically melt in his arms. We sway back and forth and don't say anything for awhile.

Finnick kisses the top of my head.

"How were you when I was away?" He asks.

"Okay. There was a big storm." I say

"Really." He says. I don't know if he is referring to me being alright or the storm.

"Yeah the weather alert was called and a Capitol person needed to come to fix the roof."

His grip tightens around my waist when I say this.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Did he go to all the houses?"

"Yes. Why?" I say confused.

"I just don't want strange people going into the house. Where did they go?"

"They stayed in the back bedroom and the bathroom that was connected to it."

The tight grip Finnick had has relaxed.

"Do you know if they took anything?" He asks.

"I don't think so... why are you so worried about this?" I ask confused.

"I just don't like strange people going into our house."

"It's okay Finnick. They didn't do anything but fix a leaky roof."

"Why didn't someone from town do this?" He asks.

"It's Capitol owned Finnick." I say and he nods knowing that anyone in there right mind wouldn't touch those houses.

"Anything important get ruined?"

"No, that room is basically used for storage anyways. The front porch swing is broken though."

"I can fix that." He says and kisses my neck.

"Good because I like sitting out there."

He turns me around.

"I know that's why I'm going to fix it." He smiles.

"You're an idiot." I say.

"Oh Annie don't be silly. I'm not an idiot."

I roll my eyes.

"I'm your idiot."

"There is no one else like you Finnick Odair."

"I could say the same about you Annie Cresta."

"I'm not special." I mutter.

"Yes you are." He smiles.

I smile.

"What?" He asks.

"I just wanted to hear you say it." I say.

"You're evil Annie." He says and smiles.

"Well I try." I say and hug him again. I don't want to leave this room or be away from Finnick again but I know I will have to. I close my eyes and let the comfort of his touch consume me. I want this hug to last forever.

Euphoria


	79. Chapter 79

**CHAPTER 79**

"Finnick! Annie! Please come out here!" Aries says he sounds upset.

"I don't want to talk I him." I whisper.

I hear him bang on the door.

"Finnick! Annie!" He says again.

"We have to." Finnick whispers and kisses my cheek.

We open the door and instead of going outside Aries comes in here.

"Aren't you going to take us to the common room to speak with the tributes?" I ask confused.

"They retired for the evening." Aries says.

"Okay so...

"You didn't speak with them at all. You just ran off to be _alone_." Aries says. He sounds angry and his implications are making me uncomfortable.

"So sorry Aries. Annie was just worried about me because she hasn't seem in a long while." Finnick says.

"Nor have I, and you don't see me taking you to my room."

I stifle a laugh and this time Aires knows this

"It isn't funny Annie what if the tributes don't feel prepared for tomorrow." He says angrily.

"They volunteered." I say.

"They did?" Finnick asks looking at me.

"Yes." I say.

"The fact that you don't know this Finnick is insulting. You aren't taking this seriously." He says.

"Well, I was in the hospital when they showed the recaps so…" Finnick says.

"It's in the papers and everything Finnick. You didn't need to watch them." He sighs. "I don't care what you do in District Four or after the tributes go to sleep but, you have to at least sit out there with them and try to give the best advice you possibly can." His eyes linger at me for a second.

"But Aries I'm not-

He interrupts me. "I know you're not totally with it Annie, that was obvious from your Victory Tour but, you can at least sit there and look pretty."

I swallow hard.

"I was going to say I'm not good at this." I say.

"Oh." Aries says awkwardly. "Well, that's also true I guess."

"It won't happen again." Finnick says.

"It better not." He says and leaves.

"Annie?" Finnick says but I don't answer. "Annie don't worry what Aries said he is so out of touch with reality it doesn't matter."

I close my eyes.

"Annie it's okay." He says and and runs his fingers through my hair.

I hug him.

"It's-

I cut him off.

"It's going to be different this time isn't it Finnick?" I whisper.

"I… what do you mean?" He asks confused.

"I'm going to be different. I don't think I will be able to deal with all of this Finnick. I-

"Annie shhh. It's going to be okay. Besides because of everything that happened I don't have to see clients. I don't have to be away from you." He says and kisses my cheek which now have tears on them."It's okay Annie." He says again.

"Don't you have to leave to go to the mentor reports or whatever they're called?"

He smiles.

"Yes, but that is only for a few hours and you will be okay."

"You think so?"

"No, I know Annie."

I rest my head in his chest.

"Here" He says and grabs my hand and lies me on the bed. He wraps his arms around me and pushes me against his chest.

"But Finnick." I say after awhile.

"Yes?" He says and kisses my forehead.

"What's going to happen when they have the lockdown in the hive. I can't stay in a locked room that long Finnick." I whisper.

"Annie don't worry about that now besides, I will be right next to you."

"It won't matter." I say softly. He either didn't hear me or doesn't know how to respond.

"We should go to sleep. If we wake up early we can get back on Aries good side." Finnick says.

"Okay." I say and reach for the light switch.

I lean against Finnick until I fall asleep. Even as I'm sleeping Finnick has his arms securely wrapped around me.

* * *

Finnick and I wake up early and are sitting in the common room. We are here before anyone else, even Aries. Finnick wants us to get back on Aries good side which I don't understand. I don't care if Aries likes us or not but, Finnick wanted to and I'm sure he knows what is best. He has known him for almost ten years.

I stand up and head to the kitchen and I as the Avoxs start setting the table for breakfast and preparing it. A normal table would probably take five minutes to set but, with all of the decor and silverware it takes them a good twenty minutes. Most of the silverware they give us I don't use. Aries is always displeased with this because I use the same fork or spoon for every dish. I don't know the difference between them and it doesn't really matter because they all work the same. I seem to offend him every time I use a salad fork instead of main course fork.

I am holding Finnick's hand and look up and smile at him. I get a smile in return.

"Are you alright?" I ask him because he said he couldn't fall asleep because he felt dizzy. He should go see a doctor to make sure he is alright but, he said he is fine. I won't be able to convince because he is stubborn, just like me.

It didn't really matter if he fell asleep or not because I woke up screaming three times. Which is more than usual when I am with Finnick. It could be because I'm in the Capitol or it could that I haven't seen him so long that it doesn't matter if he is here or not.

"I'm fine Annie." He says and kisses me.

"Okay." I say.

I keep thinking of everything that is going happen this time. Finnick says he isn't going to leave unless he is looking for sponsors or going to the mentors report meetings. I don't know what goes on during those and don't really care enough to ask. I'm sure it is nothing too exciting it has the word report in it, so maybe you just say what you have been doing for your tributes.

I don't really care about the tributes or anything else. I'm just worried about what's going to happen when the games start. I have to be locked in that hive 24/7. I won't even be able to pass out from fear. I will just think I will be locked in there forever with no end in sight and I will become crazier than I already am.

People never really talk about things that have messed you up because you are afraid that all of the feelings will come back. I don't want to be here, see Snow or be locked in a room ever again.

I start to pick at the table just thinking about the upcoming horribleness that is going to happen. Finnick grabs my hand and I look up at him.

"This table is probably more expensive than our houses, can't have you ruining it." He smiles.

"I'm just... scared Finnick."

"It's okay Annie. I'm not going to be leaving you alone for long and I-

"I can't deal with all of this Finnick, I can't deal with all of them. I can't." I say and let go of his hands so I can wrap them around my knees. I press my legs to my chest. I close my eyes and start rocking back and forth.

"It's okay Annie. You can get through this you have before. It is the same as it has been for the past three years. You'll be fine-

"It's not the same Finnick and you know that." I mutter.

"Annie it's fine, you're fine." He whispers and kisses the top of my head. This causes me to start crying and I don't know why.

Maybe it is because he hasn't been able to comfort me in awhile for so long or maybe it's because I'm afraid.

"Annie it's okay." He says again.

"No it's not Finnick and you know it"

"Annie you're going to be fine I will make sure of it."

I say something that he doesn't make out.

"What was that?" He asks.

"They're all-

"Annie don't worry about anyone else just worry about yourself."

"But Finnck-

"Annie no, most of these people don't matter and you only see them once a year. They don't matter, all that matters is you." He takes my hands off of my knees and pulls my head up and wipes the tears away. "All better."

"If only it was that easy." I whisper.

"It is Annie."

"Finn-

"There's nothing wrong with you Annie." He says already knowing what I'm going to say. He kisses my cheek.

"Easy for you to say you didn't see me the past few weeks." I mumble.

He smiles.

"This isn't funny Finnick. Do you know how much I was crying or screaming while you were gone. The nightmares were so vivid too and you were getting killed in most of them. I couldn't even call you to make sure you were alright. I didn't really know what to believe." I restrain myself from shouting because everyone else is sleeping.

"I know it's not funny." He says and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm just glad I get to be with you again." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Why? So you can be around someone who cries all the time."

"You don't cry all the time Annie."

"I do most of the time."

"We've been over this Annie it's okay to cry and it's better to let it out than keep it in. I think I know what I'm talking about."

I hug him and swallow hard.

"When Snow called me and told me he couldn't found you I thought...

"It's okay Annie I didn't do anything to myself and I'm not going to." He kisses the top of my head.

I look at him and sigh.

"What?" he asks smiling.

"You could have any girl and yet you chose the one who cries all the time and sees things that aren't there."

"Annie I could probably have any girl I wanted." He smiles

I scoff and let go of him.

"Let me finish before you get all angry." He smiles.

I roll my eyes and sigh.

"I didn't want any girl Annie. I wanted you. It did take some time to realize this but, that doesn't really matter now does it?" He say sand kisses the tip of my nose. "Besides Annie I'm sure you could've had your pick of suitors.

I scoff.

"Maybe before but, when I turned all crazy-

"You're not crazy." He says.

"You're the only person who thinks that." I say.

"I'm sure that's not true."

"Finnick-

"Did I say sure? I meant to say I _know_ that's not true."

"No it's not." I whisper.

He kisses my lips softly.

"Yes it is and because the _great _Finnick Odair is saying it, it must be true." He smiles.

"That title doesn't do anything for you with me." I respond.

"Aw man." He says.

I roll my eyes and lean into his chest.

"Seriously though, I don't know how I'm going to deal with this." I say.

"You'll be fine Annie."

"The volunteering tributes, the Capitol people, seeing Snow's face, being awake for 24/7, watching people getting murdered, and... being locked in a room. Which is my greatest fear now. Saying that out loud makes me feel stupid." I say.

"You're not stupid Annie." He says gently.

"Easy for you to say. Are you even afraid of anything?" I ask.

"Oh Annie you know the answer to that already."

I sigh.

"Being afraid of fire is a common fear and so is spiders."

"I'm not afraid of spiders." He says.

"Then why do I always have to get rid of them?"

"Because I don't want to hurt them."

"I don't kill them Finnick I put them back outside."

"Well, they're icky."

"That's the best adjective you could come up with, icky?" I laugh. "What are you four?"

He sighs.

"The point is Annie-

"Who got rid of the spiders before you lived with me?"

"I um... they sort of just went away or I let them have the room."

I laugh.

"It's not funny Annie." He says.

"Maybe if you had killer spiders in your arena yes but, no they are like so small."

"Like I said they are icky."

"Big strong Finnick Odair can't kill a spider news at eleven."

He rolls his eyes.

"The sad part of that comment is people would actually eat that up."

"I know." I say.

"As I was trying to say Annie is that everyone is afraid of something and as you so kindly demonstrated it might seem funny or irrational to others but it isn't to you. You can be afraid of locked doors and water and whatever else. It's okay Annie, besides Haymitch's fear is that the world will run out of alcohol."

"That's a mean thing to say Finnick."

"He has said this himself more than once."

"Oh but, that one is rational since he is an alcoholic."

"I guess but it doesn't matter."

"Well I will start crying eventually and that room echoes."

"Like I said don't worry about it now and if you get really bad you can to the lounge area, then the only other person who will hear it is me." He smiles.

"Finnick-

"I get you all to myself." He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Have I mentioned I loved you today?"

"I don't think so." He says.

"Does that count or do you want me to say it."

"I'll say that counts." He kisses me and picks up one of the olives next to him. Why we are having olives with brekfast I have no idea. "Olive you too." he says and eats one.

"Puns really." I smile

"Come on Annie puns are the best."

"They're so chessy." I smile.

"Yes but they are also so punny. Huh huh. Punny you get it?"

I sigh

"Yes I get it Finnick."

"Then why aren't you laughing?" He teases.

"It's not that funny."

"Wait I got more."

I roll my eyes.

"Why does it rain cats and dogs but it can't reindeer. Buh dum ching."

"Oh god." I say.

"Wait, wait I got more. What are hangers good at doing?"

"Uhhh."

"Hanging around. Ha Ha.

"Good god Finnick. It's a good thing you're good looking because you would make a terrible comedian."

"Everyone loves puns." I say.

"Looks like breakfast is ready." I say.

"Yeah too bad there aren't any eggs." He says.

"Why?"

"Because they crack me up. Ha ha ha."

"Eating my pancake now and ignoring you."

"Crack me up you get it?"

"Grabbing sugar cubes for my tea and ignoring you."

"Because the shells they crack-

"Finnick I understand the joke."

"Okay good." He says. "Still not funny?" He asks

"Gee you think?" I say.

"Everybody's a critic." He says. I shake my head and roll my eyes.

"You know you love it Annie." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Maybe." I smile.

Aries comes out.

"Good you two are awake. I see you took my advice." Aries says with a smile

"You really opened up our eyes Aries." Finnick says.

"Good I'm glad." He says.

We eat breakfast and I feel a little better. I'm still afraid of what will happen but right now I just want to eat breakfast and think about how glad I am I can be with Finnick again dumb jokes and all.


	80. Chapter 80

**Chapter 80**

After breakfast the tributes leave. I don't make eye contact with them because I don't want them to get to me. Especially, since Finnick just made me feel okay.

Finnick and I are still sitting at the kitchen table and holding hands.

"You gotta go to one of those mentor reports?" I ask.

"Later in the afternoon around two."

I nod and get up and sit pretzel style on the couch and Finnick sits next to me.

I put my hands out palms up. He is about to hold my hands but I move my hands and slap the front of his.

"I win." I smile.

"I wasn't aware we were playing the slapping game so that is cheating Annie." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"You're just mad because I always win."

"Here I'll let you be the slapper." I say and he puts his hands palm up and I hover above his.

"So how were you really when I was away?" He asks as I move my hands away from his slap attempt.

"I was… it was…" I move my hands. "I'm still alive." I say as he tries to hit my hands.

"I know you probably had nightmares, but I wanted to know if you-" He slaps my hand and we switch positions so I am now trying to hit his hands. "Saw anything or did anything?" He asks.

"I did lots of cleaning." I say and hit his hands on the first try and we switch positions again.

"You knew what I meant Annie." I avoid his slap and sigh.

"I know it's just…" I pull my hands away and hug him. He pulls me in and kisses my jawline. "I felt uncomfortable almost all the time. I would mostly hear things or see things. I had one disturbing nightmare and when it was over all I wanted to do was call you."

"What was it about?" I ask.

"You were… murdered by Snow in front of me and then I was locked in a room and drown. It happened right in our house Finnick I couldn't tell if..." I sigh and lean into him. "I'm just glad you're okay." I whisper and kiss him. "Then snow called me and..." I say and can feel myself about to cry.

"It's okay Annie I'm fine." He says and rubs my back.

"Were you okay while in the Capitol I mean besides getting stabbed and everything."

He smiles.

"I was mostly worried about you."

"Well looks like we have something in common." I say and kiss him and hold onto him.

"Yup." He smiles and kisses me. "When we get home Annie I'm going to do something special for you."

"You already are, you're going to fix the porch swing." I smile

He rolls his eyes.

"I meant do something nice."

"Like what?" I ask.

"I can't tell you Annie it will ruin the surprise."

"Finnick if you wanted it to be a surprise you don't go 'hey Annie I think I'm gonna do something special for you when we get home' we could've just gone home and you could've surprised me, like what you did for the starry night festival."

He rolls his eyes.

"Don't worry Annie you won't see it coming because I'm like a ninja. When you never expect it bamb there I will be giving you flowers or bamb your favorite dinner or bang stargazing or bamb I'll take you on a nice nighttime boat ride." He kisses my cheek. "You won't see it coming but as soon as it happens you're gonna be like woah Finnick is the best." He smiles

I look at him strangely.

"You're such a dork." I say.

He rolls his eyes.

"I just do what I like."

"It's in a good way like adorkable."

"What?" He says.

"You know an adorable dork aka adorkable."

"Making up words now I see tsk tsk." He says.

"That is a complement Finnick." I kiss his cheek. "I think if all your admirers knew how dorky you were I don't think they would take a second look at you."

"Oh Annie that's not true I'm still very attractive." He says.

"If they saw you first thing in the morning." I smile.

"Oh Annie I'm still good looking."

"I meant the attitude. 'Don't talk to me for at least two hours after I have gotten up' you're _such_ a drama queen." I say and he laughs.

"Well Annie people aren't supposed to be as annoyingly chipper as you are in the morning."

I roll my eyes and lean against him.

"I love you and I like you." I say and kiss him.

"I love you and I like you too." He whispers me and pulls me closer to him.

"Oh Finnick." I say.

"Oh Finnick what?"

"I just… I'm glad I'm near you again. You're nice, cheesy, sarcastic, strange humor, and I just love you. I know I have probably said that at least a hundred times by now, but I just missed you so so much."

"I missed you too Annie. I love your Annieness smart, cute, observant, funny, also sarcastic." He kisses me. "And everything I ever need. I love you too Annie."

"So much?" I ask.

"You don't even know how much Annie." He kisses me.

"I think I can imagine." I say and kiss him.

The clock chimes and Finnick has to go to his mentors report meeting.

"I'll be right back." He says.

"Okay." I say and kiss him and I watch him leave.

I grab a pillow and press it to my chest.

"Finnick's back." I whisper. Even though I saw him yesterday I think it is because I get to spend so much time with him now. I almost forgot how dorky he was.

"I love him so much." I say and hug the pillow tighter.

Finnick comes back in an hour. He said he could leave so soon because he got there almost first. He said he just wanted to get to see me sooner.

The tributes come back in a few hours too and they talk about their training session. They don't seem too thrilled about talking about it which surprises me because the volunteers usually love boasting about this stuff. I wonder if they actually wanted to be here or their family made them. I have never really considered that. I would never make my child volunteer in the Hunger Games but, I wouldn't let them volunteer either. Usually the volunteers are ruthless and killers because that is all they have known their lives. They see themselves as a vessel to be used in the Hunger Games and the only way their life can mean something is if they win.

**A/N: Yay! Chapter 80! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I love y'all!**


	81. Chapter 81

**Chapter 81.**

I'm lying in bed and watching Finnick sleep. He looks okay, I'm still worried about him because he complains about being dizzy a lot. I watch his chest slowly rise and fall back down again.

I roll over and am about to go to sleep, but I hear Finnick mutter something.

"Annie" He whispers.

I turn around and expect him to be awake but, he's still sleeping soundly.

"Annie…can… peach… Capitol… you."

"What the hell are you dreaming about." I smile.

"Love… her." He says.

I roll over and try to block out his sleep muttering but, I sigh. I can't fall asleep.

I roll over and look at Finnick again. I move my hand and gently trace the lines on his face. I start to pull my hand away but Finnick's eyes bolt open and he grabs my wrists hard and twists it as of to break it.

"Ahh Finnick that hurts." I say.

He soon realizes where he is and let's go of me.

"Are you okay?" He asks me as I rub my wrist. It hurts but it isn't broken like he was trying to do. I don't really care. Waking Finnick up unexpectedly is also a bit questionable. It I do it screaming he is usually fine but if it's just to wake him so he can do something he can react a badly. Alarm clocks for him are not good because the beeping noise just reminds him of the arena. He has broken a fair few.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"You shouldn't be apologizing, you didn't do it on purpose." I say and hug him. I ruffle his hair and rub his back. "Shhh it's okay Finnick." I say because I can tell he is still upset.

"I know." He says quietly to himself over and over for at least a minute.

He let's go of me and smiles.

"All better." I smile because he says this to me usually after I have calmed done even though I hate it.

"You're right saying that is almost like taunting."

I smile.

"You finally see it my way." I tease.

"I love you so I will try and find something else to say."

"Maybe just stick to it's alright." I smile.

"It's alright. It's alright. It's _alll_ right." He says using all different tones. "I like it." He smiles and I roll my eyes.

He lies down and places his hands on his face.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Dizzy."

"You really should see a doctor."

"Annie I'm fine."

I roll my eyes.

"I'll be right back." I say.

"It's alright!" I hear him mock as I leave the room. While I shake my head and laugh.

I get him a glass of water even though I doubt he needs one. I do worry that he is dizzy so much I hope he didn't hurt his head or something.

"Here you go." He says

"Thanks cookie."

"You're welcome milk." I look at him strangely.

"I like that." He says and takes a sip.

"Why do you want some cutesy thing so much?"

"Because it's fun."

I roll my eyes.

"Like peaches." He says.

"I can call you creme." He rolls his eyes. "Is that what you were dreaming about, food pet names you could call me?" I ask.

"Why?" He asks confused.

"You were muttering and I heard my name and peaches."

"You were eating peach ice cream." He says

"Okay…"

"It was that blood peach stuff, the really good expensive stuff you can only get here."

"You can get that at home." I say.

"No you can't, at home that is from peaches not blood peaches. Besides, District Four rarely has peaches. Peaches."

I roll my eyes.

"Well I'm sure we could order some of that now if you want."

"No thanks gumdrop."

"How many other food ones do you have?"

"Sugar, buttercup, cutie pie, honey, love muffin, sweet pea."

"Finnick I don't like pet names we have been over this."

He laughs

"I know that's why they're so much fun."

I playfully hit his chest.

"You jerk."

"I know right." He sits up and kisses my cheek. He is leaning against the headboard still probably because he is still dizzy. "What can I call you love?"

"You can get away with love." I say.

"Yes." He says almost sarcastically.

"Shouldn't we have gone over the rules for this like awhile ago."

"There's no fun in that though princess."

I roll my eyes.

"NO."

"Is that one almost as bad as baby?"

"Possibly." I say.

"Okay what can I call you then?"

"Annie."

He rolls his eyes.

"I told you, you can get away with Cresta and love."

"That's it?"

"Yes, Finicky."

"That doesn't work it's a word."

"I know it's a word and it's perfect for you because that is what you are."

He rolls his eyes.

"I'm not finicky."

"Whatever."

"So that's it love, Cresta, and Annie."

"Yes." I pause. "But you could probably get away with anything when you're upset except you know." I pause. "Baby." I whisper.

"Well, then I could be upset all time time."

I roll my eyes.

"Don't abuse it."

"Okay, love" He kisses me.

I roll my eyes and lie back down and he does too. I intertwine my fingerswith his and lie on his chest.

"You ready for tomorrow?" He asks.

"They're just showing the scores Finnick."

"I know, but everyday it gets closer to the main event."

"Didn't you say that I shouldn't think of it until the day."

"I know you Annie, and I know you have been."

I sigh and look at him.

"I only think about when you're asleep."

"Why?"

"Because I don't have you to distract me or make me feel better. You're just… it's just…

"Okay... It's okay Annie and if you're only worried when I'm asleep I think you'll be fine."

"Finnick, you don't understand. How would you feel if you were trapped in a room of fire."

"I think I would burn to death."

"Well I don't know of a good example because I don't remember your Huger Games and I don't break the unspoken law to ask about it."

"It's okay Annie." He says and kisses the top of my head and it's silent for awhile.

"Forest." He says.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Do you ever wonder why I don't go on the walking path surrounded by trees in Victors Village?" He says.

I shrug.

"You don't like nature."

"That's what it was a forest. The fire part came later when they burned all the trees down to… drag us together and… the point is if I was dropped in a forest it wouldn't end well. Probably like you in a locked room or a lake."

"Oh."

"People don't like being reminded of what happened to them so we avoid it but… you can't. It's going to be okay Annie."

"I know it will be for the most part."

He's kisses my forehead.

"Let's just go back to sleep." He says

"Okay." I say and roll over.

* * *

I'm at the kitchen table pushing around the remains of my omelet.

"Remember make District Four proud." I hear Aries say as he takes them down to the training center. Luna and Mags leave as well and I'm wondering where they are going. They don't usually leave this much.

Finnick smiles and goes to take a shower. I head to the common room and lie on the couch and count the ceiling tiles.

Finnick walks and he sways a little and practically falls on the couch. He places his hands on his temples.

"Finnick I really think you should see a doctor."

"Annie I'm fine."

"You have dizzy spells a lot and you have trouble sleeping."

"I can never really sleep."

"Finnick, I think you should just have a doctor look at you. They didn't want you to leave the hospital so soon, maybe something happened."

"I think I'm okay."

"Well I want to know." I say.

He sighs.

"Okay." He says. I call the doctor to come to the room and they look at Finnick. They ask a bunch of questions that I'm surprised Finnick knows the answers too.

I hear the elevator ding for the doctor leavening and I walk over to Finnick.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine Annie. They said this sometimes happens after blood transfusions."

"What's that?" I ask.

"It's when they put blood in your body after you lose a lot. It's very common." He says and I nod. "Anyways it is just a bad reaction. He's going to come back to get me pills. He also said I should do a follow up once I get back home."

"Okay. See don't you feel better?" I ask.

"He said it was smart to get looked at before any other reactions started happening…"

"So I was right."

"Yes you were right."

I smile and hug him.

"I love you."

He brushes hair from my face.

"I know that's why you worry so much." He says.

"That's my job Finnick to worry."

"Well it's my job to worry about you too and love you." He kisses me.

The doctor comes back and gives Finnick his pills which he is supposed to take three times a day. He said he shouldn't take them while the games are going on because of the drugs they give us to stay awake.

The tributes come back in a few hours and we eat dinner in almost silence. Aries makes comments here and there which is more awkward than anything else.

After dinner we head to the couch and wait for the scores to start.

It gets to District Four and the female scores an eight which I'm surprised by. That is the same score I got, but careers never get below a nine. The male tribute gets a ten.

The girl is looking at the floor and leaves around District Six.

They finish and then everyone leaves.

"If she volunteered why doesn't it she seem like she did."

"She didn't volunteer Annie."

"Yes she did." I say surprised.

"I meant it wasn't her idea someone made her do it."

"She could've just not done it."

He shrugs.

"Maybe if she didn't her fate would be worse."

"Oh." I say.

"Yeah." He says.

"We should go to sleep. Interviews are tomorrow and you have to go downstairs into all the chaos."

"Okay." I nod and take his hand and we walk back to the room.

I lie down in bed and fall asleep quickly.

I jolt and my eyes bolt open. I turn to lie on my stomach and cry softly.

I then feel Finnick's gentle touch as he strokes my hair.

"What's wrong Annie?" He whispers.

"I'm afraid."

"Why?" He asks and kisses the back of my head.

"Because I had a bad dream. I don't remember what it was about but I'm so scared."

"Shh shh. It's okay Annie."

I turn on my side and look at him. He smiles and wipes tears from my face.

"It's alright." He says and smiles.

"It's alll right." I whisper and mock one of his ridiculous tones he did the other day.

He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"I love you _cookie_" He says like last night. I roll my eyes but don't care enough to call him out on it.

"I love you milk." I whisper just like last night too. I move and lean on his chest and he places his arms around me. Finnick strokes my hair until both of us are asleep.

**A/N: I feel like the past few chapters have been fillery. But, because Annie and Finnick hadn't been together for awhile I wanted there to be cutesy moments so I'm sorry if I am disappointing anyone. The games will probably start next chapter so that is something. As always thanks for reading!**


	82. Chapter 82

**Chapter 82**

I wake up late today. I can hear commotion outside of the room I sigh and get up to go to the bathroom. I take a shower and walk out to the common room with lounge clothes and wet hair.

"About time you came out to mentor." Diana sneers.

"Manners, she was probably thinking about how to help them." Dean says.

"Well if it's for fashion she isn't helping." Diana says looking me up and down.

Dean shakes his head.

They are making up the female tribute right now, which makes sense because the girls take far longer than the guys.

I sit on the couch and Finnick comes over with a bundle of grapes. I reach for some but he pulls back.

"These are for me Annie." He smiles.

I roll my eyes

"Didn't you ever learn that five letter word?" I say.

"What? Mine?" He teases.

"That's four letters." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"I know." He smiles

"Well I meant share."

"Ohhh right that word." He smiles. "Well since I'm soooo nice I guess I can share." He smiles and hands me some. Which I gladly take.

"Thank you." I say.

"You're welcome." He says and leans close and whispers in my ear. "I'd kiss you right now but that would be _unprofessional_." He says.

I roll my eyes and throw a grape at him.

"I'm sharing with you so you can eat them not throw them Cresta."

"Okay." I say. "How long have they been working?" I ask and motion to Diana and Dean.

"Couple hours. Aries is with the other tribute trying to work on manners." He smirks.

I nod.

"You sleep okay?" He asks and eats a grape.

"I did, I mean I slept in." I say eyeing him. I'm surprised he didn't wake me up.

"Yeah, I thought I would let you sleep in, I couldn't wake you. You looked so cute and innocent."

"Saying I look cute sleeping sounds like something a stalker would say." I say.

"I thought we already decided I had an unhealthy obsession of you." He teases and I roll my eyes. "I guess I'm a stalker Annie Cresta." He says and squeezes my hips causing me to laugh.

"Finnick stop." He says and keeps doing it. "Finnick stop." I giggle out and he does this time. "No way that was professional." I say and shove his shoulder.

He rolls his eyes.

"It was fun." He says and is looking at me strangely.

"What?"

"You should braid your hair, then when it dries it will be all wavy."

"What are you a hair stylist?" I ask.

He laughs and rolls his eyes.

"No, but that is common knowledge. Besides, I like when you have wavy hair." He says.

"I know." I say and he smiles. I braid my hair not just because Finnick asked, but because I know Aries will complain if he sees me with wet hair.

"You look nice." Finnick says.

I smile.

"Thanks."

"Are you blushing Annie?" Finnick asks in a tone of surprise but, I can tell he isn't serious.

"Maybe." I say.

"After all these years I still have that effect on you."

"Well I'm not tired of you yet. It's just nice to get a complement." I say and he smiles.

Aries comes out of the room and the tribute soon follows.

"Oh good Annie you're awake." Aries smiles. He doesn't sound annoyed, he must be in a good mood today.

I watch Diana and Dean fuss over the tributes and then Yule comes out. He gives the girl an evening gown and the boy a tailor made jacket and pants.

"Alright it's almost time to head down! Get ready everyone!" Aries cries with glee.

I unbraid my hair and now it is wavy. It looks like I just spent the day at the beach but, I just braided it. Finnick smiles and runs his finger through it.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers in my ear and I smile.

"Thank you." I say. I would kiss him but, everyone else is out here and we are supposed to be _professional. A_lthough the way we have been acting on the couch it isn't exactly professional either.

I stand up and we head to the elevator and are taken to the ground floor. The scatter of people is everywhere as they get ready to have the tributes interviewed. I look around and see the other victors around also. I didn't really see any of them at the makeup plaza because I was too busy being with Finnick. I'm not close enough to most of them but, I can see the people from One and Two pointing at the tributes and whispering to each other. The victors from Three are looking around isolated from anyone else. Bleu is drinking something and Jay -the newest victor- is standing around taking everything in. The victors from Six look checked out. I see Johanna looking like she wants to kill multiple people. I don't see the victors from Eight, they are probably standing somewhere else. I see Blake -with brown hair like he told me he would have- and Talia. Talia is clasping and unclasping her hands and I can see blood run down from her fingertips. She must not be okay this year. Blake whispers something in her ear and they walk away. He is probably going to put a band aid on her fingers. I don't see the people from ten or eleven either. I see Haymitch standing alone drinking from a flask and the escort from Twelve trying to take it from him but, he just rolls his eyes.

The interviews start and I'm not really paying attention. I usually don't because like when I was a tribute I don't want to remember the faces or names of any of these people. It will make it worse than it already is. I reach for Finnick's hand and he grabs onto mine quickly.

I look around the room and it seems like almost everyone is paying attention. Almost. I notice Talia didn't even come back. I wonder if she went back upstairs... I wonder if that is allowed. I'm sure Blake would know, he cares about her too much to just throw her upstairs. Blake notices that I'm looking at him, he winks and blows me a kiss and I roll my eyes. I want to do something back but, he is already looking back at the screens.

The interviews end and we head upstairs. Aries tells the tributes how wonderful they were and then he says they should go to sleep so they can be all rested up for the _big _day.

I head to the bedroom and fall back on the bed. Finnick wanted to talk to Mags and Luna about sponsor stuff. I feel like I should be out there too but, I don't really know anything about it. I'm not a very good mentor.

Finnick comes in the room within twenty minutes.

"Annie." He says.

"Hi." I whisper.

"What's wrong?" He asks and sits next to me.

"I'm a terrible mentor." I whisper.

"Annie, no you're not."

"Yes I am Finnick I don't even pay attention during the recaps or interviews and I don't look for sponsors. I'm not good at this." I say.

"Well, you aren't allowed to look for sponsors." He says and quickly moves on so we don't start another discussion. "And that doesn't really have anything to do with mentoring. Besides, there is more than one person who can give advice and you can give good advice or at least be there for them on an emotional level. I just get to yell at them and tell them they are being weak." He says and pushes my hair behind my ear and kisses me. "I've waited all day to do that." He smiles.

"I love you." I whisper and kiss him.

Finnick goes to lie next to me and I lay on his chest.

"I'm not looking forward to tomorrow." I whisper.

"I think the majority of us aren't." He says and strokes my hair. "Just try to go to sleep and it will be alright."

I nod. Even though I don't think that is true.

* * *

"Annie." Finnick says gently while shaking my shoulder.

"What?" I mutter into the pillow

"You gotta get up, we have to leave soon."

"Ugghh." I say and put a pillow over my head.

"It's okay Annie." He rubs my back.

I sit up.

"Don't I have to take a tribute down this year?" I ask. There is a rotation schedule on who takes the tributes down to the tubes. I think it is my turn and I don't think that will help anything.

"Mags volunteered to do it for you." He says and kisses my forehead, but we do have to get to the hive soon.

"Okay." I whisper.

I get dressed and then head to the common room to a waiting Finnick.

He smiles when I come out and I smile back and take his hand. We get on the elevator and he rubs his forehead with his free hand.

"You okay?" I ask him.

"What?" He asks confused.

"I asked if you were okay Finnick." I say gently.

"Oh yeah, just dizzy."

"You didn't take that stuff did you? You're not supposed to-

"I haven't really been taking it anyway. I was going to wait until all of this is over in case there is a deadly effect." He says.

"Okay." I say but, look at him worried.

"I'm fine Annie." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"I hope so." I whisper. He just kisses the top of my head again.

We get out of the elevator and get settled into the hive. I sit down at one of the desks and Finnick kneels in front of me.

"It's okay Annie." He says.

"Okay." I say and put my hands together. Finnick rolls up a chair and sits next to me.

"I don't want this!" I hear someone say above us. It was a female voice if I had to guess I would say it was Talia.

I look at Finnick and mines interlocked fingers until I hear the elevator ding. You can hear the cranking noise and the siren that is counting down for the lockdown. It stops and we are now locked in.

"See you're okay." Finnick says and pulls my chin up so I will look at him. He kisses my cheek.

I nod but, I know I'm okay now but in a hour or two I won't be.

The screens light up to show the arena. This year is a tropical rain forest. I wouldn't call it a paradise because everything looks facke, the leaves look waxy making me think it has some poison on it. The sky is an ugly puce color, they have nice plants but they are bright and full of color suggesting poison. I can also see strange birds in the tree line already which are probably lethal.

The cornucopia is placed in the center as always but it is resting on bight blue grass. I wonder if it is also poisonous. I would think they would give the tributes a break on the grass.

"The 73rd Hunger Games will begin in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." The gong sounds and the blood starts to fly. I don't look at the screen I just grip Finnick's hand.

Things start to calm down and we are down to fourteen tributes. I breathe a sigh of relief that the bloodbath is over because there probably won't be a killing for a few hours.

I sit down and Finnick sits across from me and pushes hair behind my ear.

"See you're okay." He says and kisses my cheek.

I swallow hard.

"For now." I say because now that the bloodbath is over there really isn't anything to distract my brain.

Finnick kisses my cheek again.

"You're going to be fine but, if you start to feel something we can go to the lounge Annie. Okay?" He whispers in my ear.

I nod. If I go to the lounge then everyone won't hear me crying just whoever is there with me and possibly Luna and Mags, but I'm pretty sure they won't care.

I don't say anything I just lean on Finnick's shoulder for most of the time. He makes circles with his thumb on my hand. I can tell he is watching the screens. He let's go of my hand and I look at him confused.

"Give me a minute." He says and kisses my forehead.

I nod. He goes to his screen and starts to fiddle with it. I'm assuming he is going to spend a sponsor gift.

I close my eyes and swallow hard and start rocking back and forth a little.

"You're okay Annie." I whisper to myself more than once. I turn my chair and put my elbows on the desk and place my hands over my face.

"It's okay Annie, you're not locked in here forever." I put my head in the crook my arm and push my hands up into my hair.

"You're not locked in here forever." I say again and am staring to rock back and forth faster.

I feel someone rub my back and scream. I can hear echo in the building.

"It's okay Annie." Finnick whispers. He takes my hand and opens the door to the lounge. I sit on the couch and Finnick sits next to me. I lean against him and start to cry hard. I can feel my shoulders shaking.

"I need to get out of here Finnick."

"Annie you're fine." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Finnick no-

"Annie you're going to be out of here in a few weeks and-

"That's all it takes Finnick." I sob.

"Annie it's different this time because I'm next to you. I'm not going to leave, you're not going to be alone." He says and pulls my head up. "Okay?" He says and wipes my tears away.

I hug him tightly and stay in that position for awhile. I turn to the screen to see if I can tell how long it's been. I can tell it is a different day and on the tributes left list it says there are ten. So four were killed.

I know it was probably longer than a day because both Luna and Mags came to get food. I wasn't crying then but, I was and still am gripping onto Finnick like a lost child, almost as if I let go he would vanish.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"Yes?" He whispers in my ear and kisses my cheek.

"Are we allowed to stay in here this much?"

"It doesn't matter Annie, we are still watching and that is all that matters" He ruins his fingers through my hair. "Do you want to go back out there?"

"I don't want to but, I feel like I should." I say.

"Okay." He says and kisses my forehead. "I love you." He says. I move away from him, but am still holding onto his hand not wanting to let go of him.

Finnick leans back against the couch and places his free hand on his temples. He closes he eyes and breathes in and out slowly.

"Are you okay Finnick?" I ask.

"Yeah." He says and opens his eyes. "I have that tired feeling."

"Okay." I say. You usually don't get that tired feeling until a week in and I didn't think it has been that long. I let go of his hand and walk over to get him a water bottle.

"Thank you." He says as I give it to him.

"No problem." I say and kiss him.

He takes a few sips and stands up.

"Do you still want to go out there?" He asks.

"I feel like I should."

He nods and kisses me.

"Love you." He says.

"I love you too." I say.

He takes the water bottle and I take his hand and we head back out to the control room.

Finnick and I head to the desks. Finnick's grip on my hand loosens a lot, but he is still holding on. I look at him strangely.

"Finnick?" I ask but he isn't all there. I touch his shoulder and he looks confused. "Finnick? Are you okay?"

"I… I'm... Uhh." He places his hands on his temples.

"Sit down." I say but he doesn't do anything. I look at him and he looks totally checked out.

"Finnick?" I ask again worried.

He let's out a strange groaning noise and then falls to the floor hitting his head. He is now lying unconscious.


	83. Chapter 83

**Chapter 83**

"Finnick." I shake him frantically. "Finnick." I say again. I practically shout it. Both Mags and Luna come over here. "He's unconscious." I say worried.

"He's still breathing." Mags says reassuringly

"He has to get out of here. He hasn't been feeling well all trip because he got..." I trail off not knowing if I'm allowed to tell them.

"We know." Luna says and I nod.

"You think we'll be able to get him out of here?" I ask

"Well he is passed out and probably Snow's favorite victor. This does give him reasonable cause." Mags says but, she is looking at Luna.

"Yes, but if that happens it will be the 68th hunger games all over again, which caused lots of chaos." Luna says.

"What happened then?""

"Bradley -who was a victor from ten, he died last year from a hear attack he was probably around fifty- had a heart attack, it had to do with the drugs." Mags says.

"His vitals are fine. He feels really hot though." Luna says examining Finnick.

"Why will this cause chaos?" I ask confused.

"They have to shut down the whole hive in case this happens to anyone else." Mags says.

"Then how do we send sponsor gifts and watch?" I ask.

"They take us to a room with one computer that we all fight over, and we only get the feed Panem sees." Luna says.

"Oh." I say.

"Yeah, the gamemakers intervened a lot that year to finish it early." Luna says.

I touch him.

"Don't touch him he hit his head pretty hard he could have a head injury." Luna says.

"Why is she so good at this medical stuff?" I ask Mags.

"Both of her parents are doctors and she learnt about it to distract herself." Mags explains.

"Annie, has Finnick had any problems like this before?" Luna asks.

"No... or at least not at home."

"Has he been acting strange this visit?"

"He kept getting dizzy. I had a doctor look at him and he gave him some medicine, but told him not to take it twenty four hours before the games started."

"And did he?" Luna asks.

"He didn't really take them, he said he wouldn't until it was over in case there was an interference of something."

She nods.

"Do you know if it was vertigo or like a headache."

"He just said he felt dizzy, he didn't say the room was spinning."

She nods and stands up.

"What do you think?" Mags asks.

"I don't think he is in danger of dying, but because Annie said he has been feeling dizzy the whole time and a doctor thought that prescribing drugs was necessary something might be wrong. Could be a bad reaction to the blood transfusion. Although, it would be unlikely for it to come so late, but it isn't unheard of."

"That's what the doctor said why he was prescribing pills."

Luna nods.

"I think we should wait a few minutes to see if he wakes up." Luna says. "He could've just passed out."

"I thought that wasn't supposed to happen because of the drugs." I say confused.

"It depends on the situation." Luna pauses. "Passing out from fear is different." She says avoiding my gaze slightly. She knew this is why I was asking though.

Mags takes care of the tributes while Luna and I watch Finnick. She lets me hold his hand at least.

She keeps watching him carefully, I don't know what she is looking for but at least she didn't get up after saying we should wait a few minutes. I think she cares about Finnick or at the very least doesn't want him to die.

"His breathing is staring to become shallow he needs to go to the hospital." Luna says. "Call it in." She says looking at Mags. Mags nods and presses a button on the wall. It causes a screen to light up and someone who looks official shows up on the screen. Mags talking to them probably telling what is wrong. I'm still worried they won't let Finnick leave because we aren't supposed to, to ensure we are watching.

"You think he's gonna die?" I ask Luna.

"I don't think so, but he does need to see a doctor." Luna says.

Red lights start to flash on our floor.

"District Four." The robotic voice says more than once.

Our elevator opens and they come to take Finnick away.

"Annie no, you can't go with him." Luna says as I'm about to walk off.

"Why not?" I ask

"It's not allowed." She says gently.

"Why?" I sob out.

"Because you have to watch." Mags says and strokes my hair.

"I don't want him to die!" I shout and can hear the echo.

"He's not going to die Annie." Mags says gently.

"Come on we are the first to leave." Luna says.

Mags encircles her arm around mine and we head down the elevator. It takes us deeper all the way past District One. When it stops I walk out and am in a small room that has a projection of the Hunger Games and a small computer.

"Are we all going to fit in here?" I ask

"Probably not." Luna says.

"Who's still alive?" Mags asks.

"1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9. most of those are only one tribute too." Luna says. I have no idea who is left because I have been hiding in the lounge with Finnick.

"The mentors will still come, probably not all of them." Mags says.

The elevator opens and I expect it to be Cashmere or Gloss but it is Bleu and Jay.

"They're going up in case they are infected." Luna says.

"Finnick didn't get infected." I say annoyed.

"We know Annie." Mags says gently.

Next is just Johanna. After that it is Esmeralda ,then Talia, then Enobaria, then Cashmere, and Gloss. Most of the people only have one victor here and it is still a tight fit. I wonder if they told them to send only one victor.

"Where's the rest?" I ask Mags.

"The room is too small, they are probably watching somewhere else, they just can't mentor."

"Oh." I say uncomfortable.

"Don't worry Annie I'm sure he's fine." She says.

I notice Cashmere is looking at me.

"It was Finnick who caused this not Annie." She shouts while looking at me with that smug smile.

I look at the ground awkwardly.

"Don't worry about her Annie." Mags says gently.

I sigh.

District One and Two have already claimed the computer. Luna is up there too and it's not because she wants to be, it's because she wants to help our tributes and she knows they will let her stand there.

Talia comes over here.

"He'll be okay Annie." She says. She sounds very far away. I look down and notice the dried blood around her fingers.I wonder why Blake had her come here instead of him. It seems like less people would be wherever he is. I'm sure he knows what he is doing though, maybe that is why there are more people.

"Thanks." I say. She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. Her eyes are glazed over with something I'm not familiar with.

"I think this years winner is from One." Jay says looking at them. He is practically shouting. I remember on his Victory Tour that is how he was too. I wonder how he could stay so quiet in the arena.

Talia doesn't like this comment because she starts to pick at her nails. I grab her hand so she will stop and she looks at me strangely.

"You're okay Talia." I tell her.

"No. No." She says and tries to shove me off of her.

"Talia stop." Esmeralda says while coming over here. "Come here." She says and grabs her hand. Talia let's go of me and follows Esmeralda to a more isolated area.

I wonder if that is why Blake let Talia come down here, because he saw that Esmeralda was coming down here. I think they are all friends, I know Blake is with Esmeralda anyways. They all won close together and are around the same age. They all won probably at least ten years ago so that gives them time to develop a relationship.

Victors start to come over and ask what happen. They all look at me but Mags always answers. All there really is to say is that Finnick passed out. Some of them seem disappointed by this answer which annoys me.

I'm getting uncomfortable so I find a chair in the corner and sit in it. I put my head on the table and try not to cry. I hear a chair screech out across from me. I look up to see who it is.

"Sucks doesn't it." Johanna says with a smile.

"I-I guess." I whisper

"So do anything fun recently?"

"Not really." I whisper.

She nods.

"Me neither. After I won I bought a really fancy axe so I can go out to the woods and chop tress down instead of the peacekeepers." She smiles. "Have to get rid of my anger somehow. I'm sure you do something."

"I draw." I whisper.

"Oh yeah that was your talent." She pauses "So you really drew those? It wasn't bullshit."

"Yes I really drew them." I say.

"That's nice. So that's what you do to get is of rage draw?" She says trying to keep herself from laughing.

"I'm not angry I'm just… confused."

I can tell she is trying not to laugh when I say this because it is an understatement. I know she is trying to be nice.

"Hmmm well Finnick _protects_ you so you don't know what it's like to have your family, friends, and anyone else murdered."

"But I-

"If Finnick wasn't as good looking Snow wouldn't have left people he cared about alive."

"You said no." I say understanding why she sounds bitter. I always got the feeling she didn't like me though maybe this is why.

"Of course I did. No one gets to ride me that easily." She smiles. "I didn't think he would actually do it. I guess the joke is on me. Like I said you're lucky _you_ have Finnick."

That's the second time she has said this.

"Do you not like me because I have Finnick?" I ask.

She raises her eyebrows to this.

"I don't like you Annie, but I don't not like you either. You're sort of just... blah to me. It has nothing to do with Finnick we are friends. I'm just jealous that Finnick can take care of you." She stands up. "I would love him to take bullets for me." She says and walks away.

She doesn't like me. I wonder if it's just because Finnick does things to protect me, or because she's jealous Finnick loves me.

* * *

It is torture to not know what is happening with Finnick. I just sit at a table and Mags brings me something to eat. She usually sits next to me and reassures me that Finnick is fine. Although she tells me this I can tell she is also worried.

Our tributes lasted two more days and then we got sent back to our room. We didn't have to socialize because everything is already messed up.

The elevators open to our suite and I pray Finnick is here. I get off and don't see him.

I sigh.

"I'm gonna shower." I tell them. They nod and I head to my room.

I turn the shower on and just stay there for probably ten minutes.

"Finnick." I whisper. I just got to see Finnick after a month and now Finnick is all broken… again

I lean against the shower wall and slide down it until I'm sitting on the floor.

I want to go home and I want to go home with Finnick.

**A/N: Hello everyone! I just wanted to say that for Johanna I personally always thought she didn't like Annie that much because she had Finnick. I always felt Johanna had a crush on him, but she wouldn't do anything because he has Annie and she knows he loves her. However, she seems to show that she doesn't like Annie and I think that is why. I love Johanna she is a bad ass bitch, but this is just my opinion please don't hate me! You can think whatever you want but this is what I think and it is my story so... Sorry if I upset anyone! ****As always thanks for reading!**

**-Susan.**


	84. Chapter 84

**Chapter 84**

It's almost time to go and I haven't seen Finnick yet. I'm starting to think I will be leaving without him. I'm starting to think something terrible happened.

I sit in the common room as I wait for Aries to tell us the train is here. I hear the elevator ding and expect Aries, but I see Finnick and he doesn't look okay.

I walk over to him and he hugs me.

"Are you okay?" I ask him

"Yeah just… tired." He says.

"Here, we can sit down." I say and lead him to the couch. I brush his hair out of his face. He looks like he is more focused, but he is pale and looks scared.

"What did they say was wrong?" I ask.

"Bad reaction… I'm so tired Annie." He says.

"Are you supposed to be? Did they say it was okay to leave?" I ask worried.

"Yes to both, they said I should take it easy for the next couple of days." He hugs me. "Annie I was so scared." He whispers.

"It's okay Finnick." I say and smooth his hair.

"I woke up in the hospital and didn't know how I got there." He breathes in and out. "For the second time."

"Shhh." I rub his back and wipe the tears from his face.

"At least someone wasn't waiting to hear I wouldn't die so I could leave to do _unpleasant_ things."

"You're okay Finnick." I kiss his forehead. "You're alright and when we get home I'm going to take care of you."

He holds me tighter and is practically shaking.

"Shhhh." I rub his back and hear the elevator ding.

"I bet that's Aries. We can get on the train and then you can go to sleep, okay?"

He let's go of me and nods. I wipe away the tears from his face and smile.

"It's alright." I say and smile.

"No, it's allll right." He says with a smile. I smile too because he isn't totally scared or sad to make jokes. I guess he is a little better.

I take his hand and we get on the elevator and head to the train. Once we get on the train we head to a bedroom.

"Are you hungry or anything?" I ask him.

"I'm just tired." He says.

"Are you supposed to be?" I ask again.

He nods.

"They gave me all this stuff... I have to pick some stuff up at home too."

"Okay." I say and he lies down and kicks his shoes off. I lie down next to him.

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask.

He grabs my hand so quickly I barely see him do it.

"No, no. I need someone I know with me when I wake up."

I kiss him.

"I'm not going anywhere Finnick." I say.

"Okay." He says and it sounds like he wants to cry.

"Finnick" I say and scoot closer to him. He pulls me into his chest and starts crying.

"I just want everything to be okay." He says

"It will be okay."

He nods and kisses the top of my head. He holds me close and falls asleep within ten minutes.

I look up at him and smile.

"You're gonna be okay." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

I lay on Finnick's chest for a few hours feeling it rise and fall, but eventually I get hungry. I don't want to eat in here because I might wake him up and he needs sleep. However, I don't want him to wake up and find me gone. I look up at him. He seems dead to the world, I don't think he will be waking up anytime soon.

I roll off of him carefully. He grabs a pillow and pushes it to his chest to have something that replaces me. I don't think he is awake so I'm not going to say anything. I will be eat quickly though because I don't want him to wake up and find me gone.

I head to the dining car and expect to see either Mags or Luna but don't. They could be in the main car or in there bedrooms.

I sit at the table and ask a train attendant for lunch not caring what they give me. They give me a sandwich, apple chips, and an orange.

"Can I get you anything else Miss?" A train attendant asks.

"Do you ice cream?" I ask.

"Yes, what would you like?"

I smile and ask for that blood peach stuff Finnick dreamed I was having. It is really good. The Capitol may be terrible but they know good food.

I hear a door open and see Mags come into the room. She smiles and sits across from me and get some lunch too.

"Hello Annie." She says.

"Hi." I say.

"How are you?" She asks although I think she is more curious about how Finnick is. I like Mags but, Finnick sees her everyday and she did take care of him after he tried to kill himself the first time. I think she was there before that happened though.

"I'm fine, I think Finnick is too." I say so she doesn't have to ask because I don't think she would've.

She nods and takes a sip of her milk. I can tell she feels better by this news. I doubt Luna would care that much about Finnick. She would be glad to hear he was alright and was probably somewhat concerned, but I don't think she worried about him like myself or Mags did.

"That's good, did he say what was wrong?" She asks.

"Not really… he said he was scared and was crying." I say. I don't think Finnick would care besides Mags isn't going to say anything.

"Well waking up in a Capitol hospital alone is probably a little nerve wracking especially if you don't know why you are there. Also those hospitals are very strange." She says.

I'm not going to ask why she knows that. I have a feeling I won't like the answer.

"He said he was mostly tired… I don't know what they did to him, but he doesn't look okay."

"They wouldn't have released him this time unless he was ready. They shouldn't have let him leave last time." She says. She sounds angry. I'm angry by that fact too, they let Finnick go against the doctors wishes just so he could sleep with people and get money for Snow. After you almost bleed to death I don't think you are supposed to be doing that anyways... I guess Snow doesn't care. I would think he would since Finnick probably brings in the most money.

"Why would Snow do that? I know Finnick probably brings in the most money, but it isn't helpful if he is dead."

Mags looks at me strangely.

"It isn't about the money Annie." She says.

I'm about to ask what that means when the door opens and Luna comes in.

"What are we talking about?" She smiles.

"Nothing." I say and stand up. "I'm going to go back to Finnick." I say and they both nod.

I walk back to the room and I sit in a chair this time and watch him. He is now sleeping on his side with the pillow pushed to his chest.

I eventually lie back in bed when it starts to get dark. I don't know if I should be worried that he is sleeping so much, but I have no idea what they did or told him at the hospital.

As I try to fall asleep I try to make sense of Mags' comment about how this deal is not just about the money.

I sigh and roll over and find sleep easily.

* * *

I feel a shaking on my shoulder.

"Annie." Finnick says.

"What's wrong?" I ask and rub my eyes.

"I-

"Do you need something Finnick?" I ask sitting up. He looks better than he did before, maybe he just needed to sleep. I look at the clock and see it is six in the morning. It is a reasonable hour I guess. Finnick did sleep all day.

"I don't know." He says.

"Do you know where you are?" I ask him because he looks confused.

"On the train going home." He whispers.

"Yes." I say and kiss him. "Do you need something?"

He sighs.

"Finnick talk to me." I say gently. "Do you need something?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He says he sounds upset by this almost embarrassed.

"It's okay Finnick." I say.

He hugs

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright." He whispers again and it sounds like he wants to cry.

"Finnick I'm fine." I kiss his cheek. "Did you have a nightmare?" I ask gently.

"No." He whispers. "I just wanted to-

"Make sure I was okay." I finish.

He nods.

"I was watching you sleep for a bit." He swallows hard.

"You thought I was having a nightmare?" I ask.

"Maybe I just had this feeling."

"What kind of feeling?" I ask gently.

He closes his eyes.

I run my fingers through his hair.

"It's okay sweetie. You don't have to tell me."

"No I want to."

"Okay." I say.

He waits a few minutes.

"I had a feeling that something was wrong and you needed me. Pretty stupid. isn't it Annie."

"No, no Finnick it's not stupid." I say.

"It seems like it is Annie I shouldn't-

"Shhhh. You're okay." I whisper and rub his back. He holds me and rubs my back "And I'm fine Finnick." I kiss his forehead. He holds me tighter and strokes my hair.

"So you don't need me." He whispers. He sounds hurt by this.

"Of course I need you Finnick, just not in the way you're thinking right now." I say.

He nods.

"Okay." He says softly. I pull back and look at him. He looks scared and sad.

"What's wrong Finnick?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong sweetie?"

He shrugs

"I don't know. I just… I just...

I kiss his cheek.

"I think you're just overwhelmed with everything that happened."

"Okay." He whispers.

He has been saying this as a response for almost everything I wonder if he actually thinks this.

"What are you thinking right now Finnick?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"I want to go home." He practically sobs.

"We are on the way home right now."

He starts crying.

"Shhh it's okay Finnick. We are going to be home soon. I will take care of you and you can see Marci and Jason. Everything is going to be okay, but we have to ride on the train for one more day." I say.

He hugs me tightly. Finnick is so delicate right now he is almost like a child.

"It's going to go by really quick though." I say and kiss his forehead.

"Okay." He says.

"Okay." I say and kiss him.

"I love you Annie."

"I love you too Finnick." I kiss him again. "Do you want anything? You said you are supposed to relax can I do something for you?" I stroke his hair.

"I- I."

"What do you want Finnick?" I ask gently.

"Something to eat." He says.

"Okay. That's something that can easily happen." I say causing him to smile.

I get up but he grabs my hand.

"Can we stay here." He whispers.

"Oh.… yes." I say forgetting that we have portable food devices in here. "Can you eat anything you want?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"Just easy things like soup or pasta or toast or eggs. Bland food."

I nod.

"Okay." I kiss his forehead and get the food device I wave my hand over it and the holographic menu pops

"Do you want me to order for you?" I ask gently.

"I can do it." He says and sniffles.

I rub his back.

"Okay." I say.

He orders a glass of milk and toast.

"Thought I would try something small." He says

"Will you get sick?" I ask.

"Get nauseous, might get sick."

"What happened Finnick?" I ask because he hasn't really told me

He shrugs.

"They told me with lots of medical terms, I wasn't really listening. They just gave me written instructions of what I'm supposed to do to get better."

I nod.

He takes a sip of milk.

"Said if I didn't leave the hospital so soon before this wouldn't have happened." He says and crumbles some of his toast from anger and starts muttering something.

I take the toast from his hand and he looks at me strangely.

"You're making a mess Finnick." I say.

"Oh sorry." He says.

"It's okay." I say and kiss him but, he puts his hands over his face and breathes in and out. "Why didn't they just let me stay there Annie?"

"I don't know Finnick." I kiss his forehead."But, the important thing is that you're okay." I say. I touch his hands and he removes them from his face. I smile but he doesn't. I smooth his hair and kiss his cheek.

"You're okay Finnick." I say. He closes his eyes and a few tears fall out. I wipe them away. "Finnick." I say and he opens his eyes and sniffles. "Did they tell you something bad?"

"No." He shakes his head. "I'm not dying or anything." He smiles.

"Okay." I say and kiss his cheek.

It's silent for awhile.

"Annie." He says softly.

"Yes." I say.

"I want to go home." He says again. He looks so sad and lost right now. I wish we could press a button to make us go home now. I don't like seeing him like this.

"Well, we're on the way right now, we will be home in a few days."

"Okay." He says.

"When we get home I'm going to take care of you Finnick if you tell me what I'm supposed to be doing." I tell him again.

I don't know if he forgot we had this discussion or he just wants reassurance that we are on the way home.

"I have instructions." He sits up.

"Don't get it now Finnick it can wait." I say and rub his back.

"Okay." He says and holds me.

"Do you feel any better?" I ask.

He sniffles.

"I don't feel as tired anymore and that helps a lot." He looks at me and smiles.

"That's good." I say.

"I have these bruises on my hands from the IVs though."

I nod.

"Those will get better." I say. His attention span is almost like a child's. He also seems so fragile right now.

He nods.

"Okay." He says.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Do you think you're okay?" I ask because I get the feeling he doesn't think he is.

"I feel a little better and the doctors said I will be okay after a couple of weeks. If I still feel dizzy after that they said I should go to a hospital."

"You didn't answer my question Finnick, do you think you're okay?" I ask. He looks down probably hoping I wouldn't notice this. He starts to twirl the sheets.

"Finnick." I say gently.

"I don't know." He says still not looking at me. "I don't feel okay Annie." He whispers.

"Where does it hurt?" I ask.

He looks up at me.

"No, not like that." He pauses. "I just have this feeling that something bad is going to happen."

"Hey, hey, hey." I say and put my hands on his cheeks and he looks up at me. "Nothing bad is going to happen to you Finnick."

He hugs me and lies down.

"Do you feel dizzy?" I ask.

"I have a strange feeling but, I'm not dizzy. It's probably from the bump on my head. When I lie on it, it hurts."

"Try not to then." I say and kiss his cheek.

He nods.

"Okay." He says.

I kiss his forehead and he swallows hard.

"Annie."

"Yes?"

He hugs me tightly.

"I don't want this to happen again." He whispers

"You don't want what to happen again?" I ask.

He looks down again.

"Finnick." I say gently and rub his back.

"I'm scared someone else is going to try and kill me." He whispers.

I don't know what to say. I stroke his hair and he looks at me.

"Didn't you say Snow was stepping up security?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean anything Annie."

"I'm sure you'll be fine."

He breathes in and out.

"Okay."

I look up and kiss him.

He has me lay down on his chest and runs his fingers through my hair over and over again. I think it is calming him down.

It's silent for awhile and he has stopped stroking my hair so I think he has gone to sleep , but then I hear

"Do you want to know what I was thinking about?" He asks.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You know they say your life is supposed to flash before your eyes right before you die."

I look up at him confused.

"Yes."

"When I was there bleeding and loosing my grip of reality more and more. There was only one thing on my mind." He pauses again.

"What was that?" I ask him.

"The last thing I thought about before it went all dark and everything stopped making sense. The last thing that entered my mind possibly my last thought ever, do you want to know what it was Annie?" I open my mouth to answer but, he does it for me. "You."

"Finn-

"You were all that mattered Annie. I was just thinking about you. How I would never see you again. I kept thinking that I would never see you smile or laugh or hold you in my arms again. Then I thought if I had one wish it would be to see you one last time so I could hold you and tell you I love you." He sits up and pulls me up too. His eyes are holding something I'm not familiar with. "I love you so much Annie. I didn't want to leave you." He hugs me and starts crying. "I love you so much." He says.

I rub his back and I can feel his tears fall into my hair.

"I love you too Finnick." I whisper into his chest.

"Okay." He says and I pull away so I can look at him. I let go of him and wipe the tears away. "I just wanted to tell you that." He says.

"Okay, I'm glad you did." I say and kiss him.

He nods and looks down at me.

"What's the matter?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"I'm just glad you're here Annie."

I kiss him.

"I'm glad I'm here too Finnick." I say.

"Good." He pauses. "I'm tired." He says.

"Let's go to sleep then." I say gently.

"Okay." He says and kisses me.

We lie back down and he pulls me close to his chest and wraps his arms around my waist. Finnick falls back to sleep quickly.

Finnick is in such a delicate and emotional state right now. I wonder what was wrong with him. I don't really care I'm just glad he is okay. I'm glad we're going back home.

**A/N: Hello all and thank you for reading! I'm not gonna lie I actually teared up while writing this especially at the end poor Finnick :(. **

**As always t****hank you for reading! I hope you are enjoying!**


	85. Chapter 85

**Chapter 85**

I wake up and look up at Finnick still asleep. He's gripping me so tightly that if I tried to get up, I would wake him, which I don't want. He woke up a few times in the night, I think it was from nightmares, but he wouldn't tell me.

I lean back into his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

_Thumb. Thumb. Thumb._

I run my fingers down his chest and I can feel his stitches through his shit. I also feel something else on his lower abdomen. I lift up his shirt carefully and see it is just one of the stickers they use to hook you up to machines. He should have a few more on his upper chest then. I wonder why he didn't take them off. Maybe he forgot they were there, you kind of forget they are there after awhile. Besides that's not his biggest concern right now. I also noticed he has some bruises that weren't there before. I think that could've been from the fall. He hit the side of the desk hard before landing on his back.

I put his shirt down and squeeze him tighter and breathe out.

"I'm glad you're okay." I whisper. I try to think about everything that has happened to Finnick within the course of a few weeks. No wonder he is so overwhelmed and upset. I feel sorry for him. He had to go and sleep with people for a whole month and then almost died. I close my eyes.

Finnick takes his hands off of me and I sit up to see if he is awake. He isn't but, he is shivering. I get up and grab a blanket.

"I love you." I say and kiss his forehead.

* * *

Finnick wakes up around noon and he is still an emotional mess. I like when he is happy but, when he is sad and crying it breaks my heart.

Finnick is taking a shower. I just lie in bed. I don't want to leave him alone. Ok sure he could be left alone but, I'm worried about him. We are going to be home in a few hours though.

Finnick comes out and sits on the bed. He is just wearing shorts he didn't bother putting on a shirt which makes me see all of the cuts he has. He took off the stickers though. I can see some of the stitches have started to dissolve, but it isn't going to help because it scarred.

"Finnick." I say gently.

"Yes." He sniffles confirming my suspicion that he was crying in the shower.

I smile.

"We're gonna be home soon." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Good." He says and smiles.

"I'm happy about that too." I say.

"When we get home we have to go to the pharmacy to pick up things I need."

I nod.

"Okay." I say.

He nods and gets up to get something.

He pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to me.

"Here." He says. It is the paper that says what he is supposed to do to take care of himself which isn't that much, it's just medication times and a food schedule when he is able to eat certain things. It also has the prescriptions for the medication, which is a lot.

From what I can gather from the paper and medication it is that he got a concussion, had breathing problems, and was overheating while he was in the hospital. He also had night terrors and paranoia which doesn't surprise me. They prescribed Xanax for that which I'm not going to get filled because he doesn't need it. He was just paranoid because he was in the hospital alone. If he gets really bad I will get it filled, but he seems fine now.

"I'm not going to get you the paranoia medicine, you don't need it." I tell him.

"I thought so too." He whispers

"Okay." I say and kiss him and hold him tightly.

"The paper says what was wrong with me when I was in the hospital." He whispers.

"I saw."

"How do you feel about it?"

"I wish I was in the hospital with you. I think I could've helped you... emotionally I mean."

He rubs my back.

"I was there for a few weeks." He says.

"I know." I whisper. He was there because even though the games ended soon after our tribute died the victor was badly injured and had to stay in the recovery station for awhile.

"I passed out because I was so hot they made me take ice baths."

"It's okay you're fine now." I say.

"The whole fear passing out thing I did too. I just wanted someone... anyone with me."

"It's okay Finnick because you're okay and I'm here."

"Yeah I guess." I kiss him and hug him.

"I love you Finnick."

"I love you too." He says and kisses me.

The train starts to slow and pulls into the station. Finnck and I stop off at home and Finnick sits on the couch.

"Do you want me to go by myself and you stay here while I pick up your medicine?" I ask and smooth his hair.

"I don't want to leave."

"Okay."

"But I don't want to be alone."

"Well you're supposed to start taking your medicine in an hour so I have to go Finnick."

He sighs.

"I don't want to go." He says.

"I could probably get someone to stay with you while I'm gone." I say and kiss his forehead. The doctors office is only a ten minute walk. I will probably be gone thirty minutes at the most.

He swallows hard and hugs me.

"Okay." He whispers.

I kiss his cheek and get Jason to come and stay with him. I called Jason when Finnick was in the hospital. I never did call him back because Finnick came back minutes before we left and after that Finnick needed someone else too much.

I walk back to the living room and sit next to Finnick.

"Jason is going to be here in a few minutes." I whispers and kiss his cheek. "Okay?"

He sniffles.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"Okay."

I hug him.

"I'm only going to be gone a few minutes." I say and stroke his hair.

"Okay." He says and hugs me until there's a knock on the door I go to get it and see Jason.

"Annie." He smiles.

"Hi."

"Where is he?" He asks. Neither Jason or Marci knew he almost bled to death while in the Capitol. I left that detail out and just told them he passed out.

"In the living room. He is probably going to fall asleep soon." I say.

"Okay." He nods "Is he okay?" Jason asks.

"I think so." I say.

"Do you know what was wrong with him?"

"Not really." I say which isn't a lie.

He nods.

"Okay." He says

"But, he seems a little sensitive to everything so be careful with that."

He nods.

"Finnick has always been that way." He smiles.

"Not like this I don't think." I say and we walk into the living room.

"Finnick." I say and smooth his hair.

"Annie." He says.

"I'm going to leave now, but Jason is here to watch you." I kiss him. "Okay?" I ask.

"Okay." He says. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll be back soon."

"Okay." He says again. I kiss his forehead and leave. I walk to the doctors office. It isn't that far away and it isn't the hospital. I walk through the door to the doctors office.

"How can I help you?" Someone says.

"I have some prescriptions to be picked up."

"Okay let me just get that for you." The person smiles and comes back quickly with a bag.

"Here you go. Can I get you anything else?"

"I need to schedule an appointment."

"What is this for?"

"A follow up appointment." I say.

"Okay the name should be in the system then." She types on the computer. "Is this for you?"

"No, Finnick Odair." She nods.

"Okay he got a referral from a doctor in the Capitol. You should come in sometime this week. Do you have a day you would prefer?"

"Thursday." I say. That gives Finnick a few days to get used to everything. He is supposed to go get looked at to make sure he is still okay.

"Okay anything else?" She asks.

"No." I say

She nods and I pay for his medication which is surprisingly expensive. I am a victor so it doesn't make a dent in the money I have, but the average person probably couldn't afford all this stuff.

I walk home and I was gone probably twenty minutes. I see Jason sitting on one of the chairs looking at Finnick on the couch.

"Hey." Jason says.

"Was he okay?"

He nods.

"He fell asleep shortly after you left. He kept saying he was scared though."

I sigh and think maybe I should've gotten the Xanax filled.

"Okay." I say.

"You need any help?" He asks.

"I'm okay." I say.

"Okay. You can call me if you need anything." He says.

I nod and he leaves.

I go over to Finnick and shake his shoulder gently. He needs to wake up to take some medicine.

"Annie?" He whispers confused.

"Here I got your medicine you need to take some."

He blinks heavy a few times.

"Finnick." I say again because he is about to fall back asleep.

"What?" He asks confused.

"Take this and then you can go back to sleep." I say and hand him a glass of water and three pills.

"Okay." He says and takes it all in one gulp.

I kiss his forehead.

"Annie." He whispers.

"Yes?" I say.

"Thanks for taking care of me."

I smile.

"You took care of me when I was all barfy." I say.

He smiles.

"Oh yeah."

"Do you want to stay here or go upstairs?" I ask.

"Stay upstairs I'm too comfortable to move." He smiles

"Okay." I kiss his forehead. He closes his eyes but, I want to tell him something.

"Finnick you can go to sleep but, I have to wake you up in three hours so you can take something else and eat something." I say and smooth his hair

"Okay." He says.

I kiss him and then put a blanket over him. He falls asleep relativity quickly.

I set a timer on the microwave so I know when to wake him. I wonder if he is supposed to be sleeping this much. On the papers it did say to expect drowsiness for a couple days I hope this falls in that category.

I sit at the island in the kitchen and tap my fingers against the table top. I watch him sleep, I don't have anything else to do. Usually when Finnick and I come back from the Capitol we just chill out and do things that remind us that we are in District Four. I can't do that this time. I could draw but, I don't feel like drawing anything, my mind is too distracted on other things.

I sigh.

I briefly look out the window and my eyes catch the broken porch swing and I close my eyes and sigh.

I don't think ninja Finnick is going to be doing anything special for me soon.

I open my eyes and look at him and I can feel a single tear roll down my cheek.


	86. Chapter 86

**Chapter 86**

We've been home a few weeks and Finnick has seemed to calmed down some. At the doctor appointment they said he was doing fine which made me feel better and he doesn't sleep all day anymore.

"Finnick!" I shout.

He comes downstairs still in his pajamas even though it is three in the afternoon and I know he wasn't sleeping.

"Hey lazy bones." I say.

He rolls his eyes.

"I'm sick." He does a fake cough. "Remember." He says smiling.

I roll my eyes.

"Well you're supposed to take this like in five minutes." I say holding up his pill container.

"I know." He smiles.

"Finnick you keep saying that but, I don't believe you."

"You could just wait and see." He smiles. "Besides, I don't think I will die if it's not down to the minute."

I roll my eyes.

"I don't want to test that theory." I say.

He takes them and then opens one of the cabinets and pulls out the taffy jar.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Getting some taffy to eat."

I take the jar from his hands.

"You can't eat that stuff Finnick."

"I can."

I sigh.

"Let me rephrase, you shouldn't be eating that stuff not for a couple more weeks anyways."

"I feel better."

"Well I'm following the doctors orders."

"Those are more of... suggestions." He says reacting for the jar.

I roll my eyes.

"No Finnick. Besides, this is the vanilla peanut butter kind. It has nuts and peanut butter. It's hard to digest."

"Hey, there are some blueberry ones in there."

"We have blueberry ones but, we were waiting to open those per your request."

"Well, you shouldn't have more than one open at a time."

"But, I don't like these peanut butter ones."

"I don't like the banana ones. I mean regular bananas are bad enough but artificial banana flavor." He sticks out his tongue. "Is worse."

"It's chocolate banana."

He rolls his eyes.

"Whatever." He says and then puts on the innocent Finnick charm. "But, eating taffy while sick reminds me of a simpler time."

"I don't care you aren't eating it."

"If I was at a hospital they wouldn't be this strict." He teases.

"Yeah because you could flirt with the nurses." I say.

He sighs.

"If I kissed you would it distract you enough?"

I scoff.

"That medication making you delusional?"

He smiles.

"Just one piece."

"No Finnick. I can make you something on the recommend list."

"I want something sweet." He wines.

"Finnick, you're twenty two not two stop wining." I say.

"But I'm sick." He fake coughs again and smiles. I smile and ruffle his hair

"I'll make you some ice cream." I say.

"Woah woah I can have that but, not taffy."

"It's not really ice cream." I open the freezer and get out my stash of frozen fruit.

I get out the blender and make him some.

"Why are you putting banana in that?" He says.

"It's for the texture you won't be able to taste it." I say.

He groans.

"Please be more over dramatic." I say sarcastically.

"I always strive for the best." He smiles and sits at the table.

I finish it. I scoop some and put it in a bowl and hand it to him.

"This doesn't look like ice cream it looks like soft serve."

"What is the difference?" I ask.

"The texture and everything."

"Okay, well just try it and if you don't like it I can make you something else." I say gently.

He reluctantly puts it in his mouth.

"Raspberry?" He says

I nod.

"There's some mango too." I say and eat some.

"It's pretty good." He says.

"Good."

"I can taste a hit of banana though."

"Finnick, I'm eating the same thing you are and I can't taste it."

"That's because you like it."

"True I guess." I say and sit next to him.

He finishes it.

"Did that satisfy your sweet craving?" I ask.

"Yes it was good." He stands up and kisses the top of my head. "Thank you."

"I can take care of that." I say trying to grab his dishes."

"Annie, I know I'm joking about being sick but, I'm fine."

I roll my eyes.

"I want to take care of you." I say. He sets his dish down and walks over and wraps his arms around my waist and I put my hands around his neck.

"I don't need you to take care of me Annie, I'm fine."

"I know, but it feels better if I'm looking after you." I say. He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Okay but, do you think you could loosen the leash a little?" He asks.

I lean into his chest.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you."

He smooths my hair and I look up.

"I'm going to be okay." He kisses me. "But, if it makes you feel better I will follow the Annie Cresta rules."

I smile.

"Yay." I say and let go of him.

He sips down and then looks at me strangely while I do the dishes.

"What?" I ask.

"Did you just Finnick Odair me?" He asks.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Act all cute and stuff so I will melt for you."

I smile.

"Why makes you say that?"

"You shouldn't use your charm to manipulate me Annie Cresta."

"It's not my fault if it works on you." I smile "But, seriously Finnick I am worried about you."

"I know." He says.

I finish the dishes and stand behind him and rub his shoulders.

"You gonna get dressed today?"

He looks around.

"Survey says no." He smiles and I place my arms around his neck and rest them on his chest.

"You gonna do anything today?"

"Survey says-

"You're supposed to be going on walks."

"Annie." He says

"What did we just talk about?" I say gently and let go of him. He grabs my arm and pulls me to his lap.

"Finnick." I say worried.

"Annie you can sit on my lap and nothing bad is going to happen."

"Okay." I whisper.

He kisses my forehead.

"Annie, I know you're worried about me and you should be but, when I say I'm okay I mean it."

"I know Finnick but, I like to follow the rules and if someone tells me to do something to make sure you're alright I'm going to do it."

He smiles.

"I guess we differ a little there." He kisses me. "But, because I love you so so much-

"Don't patronize me Finnick." I smile.

"I'm being genuine. I'm going to do anything that will make you happy Annie, even if I think it is silly, because I care about you. I don't want you to worry more than you already are." He says. I kiss him and then hug him.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says.

I stand up.

"Let's go for a walk then."

"I'd have to get dressed." He complains

"We're staying in Victors Village Finnick. I don't think anyone cares what you are wearing."

"I'm in my pajamas."

"You're wearing flannel pants and a t-shirt I think that is okay." I say. "You could get dressed if you're so worried about your attire."

"I'd have to go all the way upstairs." He jokes.

"Such a drama queen." I tease.

He puts up his hand.

"Don't you dare fake cough." I say.

He snaps his fingers.

"You know me to well Cresta."

"Yup." I say and nod my head

"Now let's go I want to go while it is light out and you have to be home in two hours to take your medicine."

"When we get back can you make me that good soup thingy." He says.

"Yes, I can." I say and kiss him.

We leave the house and start to walk on the walking path in Victors Village. We are holding hands, it isn't supposed to be a fast walk just something to do to get out of the house .

"Finnick." I say after awhile.

"Yes my love?" He says.

"Thank you for doing this. I know it might annoy you but-

"Don't stress over it Annie, I would do anything for my girl." He smiles.

I smile.

He stops walking abruptly.

"Finnick are you okay?" I ask.

He turns around.

"Bamb! Flower." He says and hands me those wild lilies I like that are all around victors village.

I smile.

"Thank you." I say and take it

"Bet, you didn't see that coming." He says and smiles.

"No I didn't." I say and kiss him. Finnick pulls away and then picks me up by my hips and moves me a few inches.

"Finnick." I say laughing.

"Annie." He mocks my voice.

I grab his hand and we walk the rest of the way around Victors Village holding hands not really worrying about anything.


	87. Chapter 87

**Chapter 87**

I'm downstairs reading. Finnick is still asleep upstairs, it is noon I would be worried if he didn't stay up most of the night coughing. It was real this time, he is either getting a cold or something else is going on but, I'm sure he is okay. He also had a few nightmares which is normal. He has than more often than before but I don't care. The difference between Finnick and I is that he usually doesn't scream himself awake he just wakes up. So if he wants to talk about it or get a hug he will have to wake me up. I'm starting to wonder if he has always had this many nightmares but, he never bothered to wake me. I on the other hand have barely had any nightmares. I think it is because I'm too worried about him even though he is fine. He has one more doctors appointment and if they say he is okay then he is allow to go back to normal but, he has to take his medication until it is gone to be sure. I'm sure Finnick is fine now and doesn't need all those restrictions but I'm not going to tell him that because I want to make sure.

I hear something upstairs and assume Finnick is awake

"Annie!" I hear Finnick shout from upstairs. It sounds more like a sob. "Annie! Annie! Annie!" He says again.

I hurry up there. He doesn't sound okay.

"What's wrong Finnick?" I ask going into our bedroom. I see Finnick lying in bed and he looks afraid

I sit next to him.

"What's wrong?" I ask and smooth his hair. He hugs me and cradles his head into my chest. "What's wrong?" I ask again.

"I- I…

"Finnick talk to me." I say gently.

"I had this nightmare and I'm glad you're okay."

"What kind of nightmare."

He shivers

"One I don't want to remember." He whispers.

He pulls away and I let go of him. He is studying my face for some reason it is like he is looking for something.

He hugs me again and I rub his back.

"You wanna go back to sleep? I can stay with you until you are." I whisper.

"No I don't want to see that again."

"See what?" I ask even though I know I shouldn't press on what happened in the nightmare but this time I am.

He closes his eyes.

"It's okay you don't have to tell me." I say and wipe the tears away and kiss his cheek

He nods and looks at me and places a stray hair behind my ear.

"Why are you wearing your glasses?" He asks.

"I was reading something."

"Oh yeah I forgot you knew how to do that." He says and kisses me.

I roll my eyes.

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really, I just woke up."

"Do you want me to leave you be for a bit. I know you don't like being around people once you've-

"Please stay with me." He whispers.

"Okay." I say and kiss him.

He lies back down and I go with him. I hold his hand and he smiles.

"After you eat something it will be walk time though."

His grasp on my hand tightens and I look at him.

He has closed his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask. "Are you tired?"

"Can we just stay inside today Annie." He says sheepishly.

"I-

"We can walk up the stairs or something just please don't make me go outside." He practically begs. I would think he was trying to get out of walking, he has done this before but, he looks terrified this time.

"Okay." I say and hug him.

He breathes a sigh of relief.

"I think it is supposed to rain soon anyways." I say which isn't a lie.

"Okay." He says looking at me. "You gonna be okay then?" He asks because I don't like rain storms, not because of the Hunger Games I just don't like them. It could be because my dad died in a storm but, I was afraid of them before that. I'm fine if it is just spitting I just don't like the thunder.

"Of course I have you." I say and he sits up.

"Yes you do." He says and kisses me. He wraps his arms around me and moves his hands to my hair.

"Do you feel okay today?" I whisper.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"You spent half the night coughing Finnick"

"Oh yeah." He pulls back. "I don't know what that was, maybe it's karma from all the fake coughing." He smiles.

I smile.

"Maybe all that sarcasm has pissed off the karma gods."

"Karma gods?" He asks.

I nod.

"Someone has to toll it out." I say.

"Well if it is karma, I must have done something in a past life to piss them off."

I shrug.

"Don't think about this too hard when I was only teasing." I say and kiss his forehead.

"I wonder if all this Snow stuff is karma because I killed people."

"Finnick that guy has nothing to do with karma. Besides, Snow only does something when there is something to be gained.

"What do you mean?"

"He's pragmatic Finnick."

"What do you mean?" He asks again.

"He just doesn't randomly go around killing people because he can. He does it for a reason."

"What about the Hunger Games?"

"He does it keep the peace." I roll my eyes. "He does it to make sure he can still control us."

"Well what about when he took you to the Capitol and locked you in that room for two weeks."

I look down and twirl the sheets from the memory.

"I'm sorry Annie." Finnick says gently.

"It's okay." I breathe in and out. "And he did that because he knew you would come and do whatever he wanted so you could see me."

"Are you defending Snow Annie?"

I almost laugh at the allegation.

"No he is a terrible person who shouldn't be doing the things he is but, it could be worse Finnick." I pause. "When you were in the hospital Johanna told me something."

"What?" He says worried. I wonder if that tone of voice has something to do with that Plutarch Heavensbee guy.

"She said she said no to this deal and everyone she ever cared about died. Snow killed all of them because he knew he couldn't control her. It isn't right but he didn't just kill all of them because he had some mad power trip. It isn't right but it makes sense."

"Why did Snow kill my parents then?"

"You said no first… Johanna said you were too valuable to loose so he left Marci and Jason alive as…

"Pawns."

"Something like that." I whisper.

He shakes his head and hugs me.

"It doesn't matter that man is still evil . He has so much blood on his hands Annie."

"I know, I think people would rejoice if he fell over and died."

"Annie don't say that." He says worried.

"Why? It's not like anyone can hear us Finnick."

"I-I'm just worried." He says carefully. I'm not going to ask mostly because I don't care.

I kiss his forehead.

"Big brother always watching?" I ask.

"Something like that." He smiles but he still sounds off.

"We can go downstairs now." He says. We walk downstairs and go to the kitchen.

"Holy hell what is all that stuff on the counter?" Finnick asks.

"It's called food."

He rolls his eyes.

"I meant why is there so much?"

"I was gonna make something."

He picks at the ingredients.

"Were you gonna make pie?" He says excited.

"I was later."

"Annie if you make pie and let me eat it I will love you forever."

"You're already going to love me forever." I smile. "Besides, it's not for you, it's for my mom." I say.

"You're giving you're mom a whole pie?" He asks

"I was going to use the mini pie pan."

"Oh. Why are making her a pie?"

"For her birthday, it's tomorrow."

"You're gonna leave then?"

"Why do you sound so happy about that."

"I um look it started to rain." He says.

"You do know I can see out the window from where I'm standing. So I know it's not raining."

He sighs.

"Even if I did leave Finnick which I'm not I would make sure to lock the cabinets to make sure you wouldn't get into them."

"Annie." He whines.

"What did we say about the whining?"

"That I'm not two I'm twenty two."

"Yes."

"But, Annie you don't understand what it's like not to eat something when it's right there." He whines again.

"Twenty two Finnick twenty two."

He sighs.

"I don't care if I'm being unreasonable for my age. I want it."

"Why can't you be a child so I could put it on a high shelf so you couldn't reach it."

He smirks.

"That didn't work when I was a kid so it won't work now."

"Well you are tall."

"No I stood on a chair or I got Jason to get on his hands and knees and stand on his back."

"That's so demeaning."

"We were kids you didn't do anything like that?"

I roll my eyes

"I was an only child. Besides I'm an angel I always followed the rules."

He laughs.

"I'm sure I could ask your mother for the truth. How was Annie Cresta as a child."

I roll my eyes.

"I'm sure she would say the same thing I did." I smile.

"You're bias and your memory is probably distorted." He smiles and I jump on the counter.

"Annie Cresta the hypocrite!" Finnick says.

"What?" I say confused.

"You're sitting on the counter."

"So." I smile.

"You said I'm not allowed to because it's unsanitary."

"Yeah I said _your_ not allowed to sit here."

He smiles and comes towards me with a mischievous grin.

"Finnick." I say.

He comes and stands in front if me and places hair behind my ear.

"Yes?" He says with a smiles and pinches my waist causes a laugh to escape my lips.

"Finnick no." I say but it doesn't matter he keeps don't it until I'm having a laughing fit.

"Punishment fits the crime." He says and takes me off the counter. "You're almost twenty one Annie you should know better than to sit on counters." He smiles.

"Ha ha." I say and roll my eyes.

"Don't roll you're eyes at me Annie Cresta." He smiles and then kisses me. "You are almost twenty one though."

"I know." I smile "I know when my birthday is."

"Oh you're so smart." He says sarcastically.

"I know."

"Do you want to do anything?"

"I want you to be here." I say and hug him.

"Well I won't be dead if that is what you mean." He teases and I look up at him. "I'm not going to make you a promise that I don't know if I can keep but, I can promise you I will do something special."

"Okay." I say with a smile

"Good." He says and I start to walk to the living room but he turns around quickly causing me to jump.

"Bamb! And you're not going to see what I do for your birthday."

"I know Finnick I was here last year."

"Oh was that you?" He smiles.

"Yes that pretty girl with brown hair and blue eyes was me."

"Oh yeah." He says with a smile.

I continue to walk to the living room when Finnick walks to the kitchen to get something to eat.

"I'm going to be watching you." I say and sit down.

"I know… unfortunately." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"You know I'm doing this because I love you."

"Yes I know my love." He smiles.

"Good." I say and watch him eat.

"Did you just eat a sugar cube Finnick?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"I want candy and this dissolves." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"Last time you did that you spat it out because and I quote 'it's too sweet'."

He nods.

"I know, but I'm getting desperate."

"Well next week you can eat all the candy you want and pass out in a sugar coma."

"Good."

"You're lucky you're not a diabetic."

"I know." He smiles and sits down and eats.

"I'm gonna do something tomorrow." He says abruptly.

"Congratulations " I say and he rolls his eyes.

"I mean I'm tired of sitting around all day." He stands up to take his medicine causing me to smile. "Told you I could do it myself." He says.

"I always believed you."

"Don't BS a BSer Annie."

"You're a BSer?"

"More than you are." He smiles.

"True." I admit. "So what are you going to do tomorrow?"

He shrugs.

"Don't know."

"Can I make a suggestion?"

"You may." He smiles.

"Start getting dressed." I say.

He rolls his eyes.

"Such a chore."

"Finnick you shower and then put on a different pair of pajamas. Explain that logic to me."

"It's easier."

"Finnick your pajamas are literally right next to your everyday clothes."

"It's more comfortable."

"You could wear knit shorts and it will pretty much be the same thing. Do you see me dressing to the nines?"

"No, but you're Annie and it doesn't matter what you wear because you will always look beautiful."

I smile.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

"I just think since you keep saying you're fine you can get dressed and stop acting like some lazy shut in."

He smiles.

"I'm not a shut in, and would you like to know why?"

"Sure."

"Because I got a pretty girl like you."

I roll my eyes.

"Well since getting dressed isn't on the agenda what is?"

"I don't know but, I'm sure I'll figure something out. Do you need me to do anything?"

"Not really." I say.

"Wait, I said I would do something for you when I came home what was it?" He asks.

"You wanted to fix the porch swing but-

"Okay that will be my goal for tomorrow."

"Finnick I don't know isn't that straining?" I say worried.

"I'm supposed to be back to normal routines."

"When is the last time you fixed something, like ever?"

He thinks about this.

"I don't know but, don't fret my dear I won't die or anything."

"Finnick when you tried to change the lightbulb you didn't turn off the light first."

"I didn't die did I?" He asks smiling and I roll my eyes

"Okay." I say.

He walks over to sit next to me. "You look smarter with your glasses on." He says.

"I can't tell if that is an insult or not." I say.

"It was meant as a compliment." He smiles.

"Okay." I smile. "Lean." I say and he moves his arm so I can lean into his chest.

"I love you Finnick." I whisper.

"I love you too Annie Cresta." He says and rubs my back and it starts to down pour.

I sigh and wrap my arms around him.

"Annie." He says.

"What? Is something wrong?" I ask.

"Why do you always think something is wrong if I say your name?" He asks.

"Because I worry about you Finnick."

He smiles and kisses me.

"I was going to ask if you were okay?" He asks.

There is a loud clap of thunder and I make a whining sound and quiver.

"That's why." He whispers in my ear and kisses me.

I close my eyes and he strokes my hair.

"Last time there was a storm you weren't here." I whisper.

"I know you told me." He kisses my cheek. "I'm here this time though, and I'm not going to let go of you until you tell me too."

"Okay." I whisper.

He pulls me closer to him and there is another louder clap of thunder and I put my hands over my ears.

"You're okay Annie." He whispers and strokes my hair. I take my hands off my ears and he holds one of my hands while rubbing my back with the other. "I love you Annie and you're gonna be okay." He says.

"Okay." I whisper. I sit up after a while. I can hear the strong wind outside and the thunder.

"You okay.?" Finnick asks.

"Yeah I just wanted to get some hot chocolate." Which I usually drink when it is raining I don't know why but, it is soothing me. Even when it is eighty degrees out like it is today.

"I can get that for you." He smiles and kisses my forehead.

We both stand up and he makes us some and hands me a mug.

"Here." He whispers.

I take a sip.

"Thank you." I say and sit at the table. "The roles reversed so quickly." I say and smile at him.

"What?"

"Now you're taking care of me."

"I didn't know there was a competition but, if there was you would be winning." He sits next to me and strokes my hair.

"Okay." I say and smile.

It thunders again and I flinch. The winds pick up too and then the power goes out.

"Last time this happened I didn't live in Victors Village." Finnick says looking around. "I think we have some- Annie are you okay?" He asks.

"Annie." He shakes my shoulder gently and then wipes a tear away from my cheek.

"What?" I ask.

"You looked terrified and all the blood drained from your face. You let out a tear also." He strokes my hair. "You're shaking." Finnck says.

I hug him.

"I don't like storms." I whisper.

"I know." He says and kisses my forehead.

I close my eyes and feel safe.

"I'm sure the power will come back on soon."

"Okay." I whisper.

"You know some people would say this would make a nice ambiance." He smiles and I pull back.

"Sitting in the dark?" I ask.

"Oh yes."

I roll my eyes.

"You're a strange person." I say.

"I'm just saying is all." He says and kisses my cheek.

I smile.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He looks around "I think we should bring some light in here. You have candles right?"

"No, why would I have candles?"

"You're a girl, don't girls like candles?" He asks.

"Not this one. The smells makes me dizzy."

"They have nonscented candles."

"Okay candle expert where are yours?"

"I don't have any."

I roll my eyes.

"I would suggest a fire but it is rather hot." I say.

"Darkness it is then." He says.

I lean back into his chest. I feel safer. I always feel safer when I'm in Finnick's arms especially when we're alone because I know nothing else will hurt me.


	88. Chapter 88

**Chapter 88.**

I wake up to a loud banging sound. I turn and see Finnick isn't in bed I also see it is ten in the morning, I usually don't sleep this late.

_BANG BANG BANG_

I close my eyes.

"Please be real." I whisper.

I do I the usual routine get up, shower, get dressed, brush teeth. Then head downstairs

_BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG._

It is louder.

I roll my eyes when I see the cause.

I open the window.

"Mister, are you trying to wake up the whole village?" I ask Finnick as he is outside trying to fix the porch swing.

"Sorry did I wake you?"

"A little." I look at the mess he is making.

"Hey, Finnick?"

"Yes." He says.

"Why are you using a hammer?"

"Because-

"Only the chain was broken. I thought a screw driver would be-

"Are you doing the fixing? Just have faith Annie." He smiles.

"I'll tell you what Finnick, I will have faith if you can tell me the difference between a phillips head and flat head screwdriver."

"Trick question." He says.

"No it's not. A flat head screwdriver is flat while the phillips head is like all screwy."

"Very nice descriptions." He say sarcastically.

"Did better than you." I smile "And I don't know much about tools but, I know the difference between that."

He sighs.

"I can fix this Annie." He says determined.

I smile

"Call me when I need to take you to the hospital for hurting yourself."

"You're terrible Annie Cresta."

"I think I'm okay." I say and smile. I hear him drop something and lean back out the window.

"Seriously Finnick, don't hurt yourself from pride."

"I won't hurt myself from pride... maybe stupidity." He smiles.

"Well at least you're honest."

"Yes I am." He smiles and kisses me.

I sigh and close the window and head back inside. I would be perfectly content watching Finnick making a fool of himself but, I know he wouldn't like that.

* * *

It's been a few hours until I hear.

"Annie get out here!" Finnick shouts. It sounds like excitement.

I get up and race out the door expecting to see Finnick bleeding or a screwdriver in his arm but, I see that he fixed it.

"Da da dum I fixed it." He says.

"Sit in it first." I say weary.

He rolls his eyes and sits down.

"See it supports the weight and everything." He says proudly.

"Can it hold two people like it did before?" I ask.

"Yes I said I fixed it didn't I." He smiles.

"Yeah but, you're a not so handy handyman."

"Just sit down." He smiles

I hesitantly sit down.

"See." He says.

"Yes I see." I say.

"Say it." He says.

"Say what?" I ask.

"That I fixed it and you were wrong."

"I guess you did a nice job. I'm still a little leery though."

"Annie Marie Cresta!" He says smiling he almost never uses my middle name.

"Finnick... what is your middle name?"

"Don't have one

"That's so pretentious."

"I didn't name myself." He says baffled.

"I've never met another Finnick before… that like a family name?"

"I don't think so it's just a name."

"Maybe it's a mash up of your parents name, what was your dad's name again?

"James." He says

"No that doesn't work there's no k or n or i."

"There's an 'i' in there Annie."

"No there's not."

"F el **i **c **i **t y. There are two i's in my mothers name. There is also a c in there too." He says smugly

"Still no k or n."

"I didn't name myself, maybe they thought it sounded good with Odair."

"But it's an interesting name, it didn't just come out of no where."

"I don't know but, if you really want to know you can perform a séance and ask them." He says smiling.

I roll my eyes.

"Or I could take the more logical approach and ask your grandma."

"That's too easy Annie, you have to work for it because they never got to give their approval." He smiles.

"Well then... we better get some candles and a ouija board, maybe some sage too that's used for contacting the dead right?"

He rolls his eyes.

"Don't go summoning things that always ends badly or have you never read like any scary stories?"

"No, those don't appeal to me." I smile.

"Well you almost never summon the person you want to and if you do they try to kill you. It causes a whole mess that we can avoid because I know the answer already."

"No you don't you just said-

He rolls his eyes.

"Get off the name thing Annie. I meant that they would've liked you."

"What make you say that?"

"You got the whole Annie charm and your nice and smarter than I am which my mother really wanted."

"That's an insult to you I think." I smile.

"No, she just didn't want me to love one of the ditzy girls because they all tried to get with me because I'm sooo good looking."

"You aren't that good looking. You are good looking but, I wouldn't bow down at your feet."

"And that is also why they would like you. You can cook also which my dad would've liked."

"You can cook."

"I couldn't then, I learned after they died."

"I see." I say.

"You also got that witty sense of humor and are good at sarcasm. You could have good banter which my parents liked a lot."

"You like banter and witty comments too."

"I know." He smiles. "Think you're dad would've like me?"

"No." I say without hesitation.

"So quick to answer." He says.

"Finnick, I was his only daughter. Besides, with all the whispers of your reputation and you're good looking suave attitude, wouldn't have gone over well, plus the sarcasm."

"Your father didn't like sarcasm?"

"Nope he called it smartassism. I'm just saying you would have to work pretty hard and grease a lot of palms to earn his approval."

"You're mom was so easy though." He says.

"That's because she trusts my judgement and she has seen you take care of me." I look at him and kiss him. "The only thing that matters is that I would have loved you no matter what." I say.

"Good, wouldn't have to sneak around climbing out the window and all that." He smiles.

"There would be no climbing out of windows Finnick."

"Oh right because you're a lady."

"That and because you don't do that when you live in your parents house."

"I said nothing on that subject Annie you have _such_ a dirty mind."

"It was heavily implied Finnick, especially after the 'you are a lady' comment."

He smiles.

"Okay." He says smugly.

I shove him.

"Shut up." I say.

"No thanks." He smiles smugly and kisses me.

I lean into his chest and watch the fountain in the center of Victors Village.

We sit here for awhile just enjoying the scenery.

"Thanks for fixing it Finnick." I whisper.

"No problem." He kisses my forehead.

"Like I said I'm still leery."

"Well at least you are sitting on it."

"That's because you're here."

"I see."

"Not just because you're here but, because you would catch me if I fell."

"Yes I would." He says and kisses me.

"I love you." I say. He strokes my hair.

"I love you too Annie. I love you too."

I look up at him and smile. We sit here for a while rocking on the porch swing not really doing anything or talking, just sitting here enjoying each other's closeness and the miracle of Finnick fixing the porch swing.

**A/N: Hello all! I made Annie's middle name one almost everyone has well, where I live anyways because I thought it might be plausible. Anyways, I know this chapter is kind of non plot important but, I'm really liking writing cutesy stuff right now. I mean Finnick did almost die... twice and then he was gone for like ten chapters so I think I just missed them being together so I am milking it. As always thank you for reading!**


	89. Chapter 89

**Chapter 89**

"Ugghh Annie." I hear faintly in my sleep.

"Annie." I hear again. "Annie please wake up." I hear in almost a beg like sob and it is followed with a gentle shaking. "Annie." I hear one more time. I open my yes and finally realize Finnick is trying to wake me up.

"Finnick what's wrong?" I ask with a yawn.

"Ugghh." He groans.

"What is wrong Finnick? Talk to me." I say gently.

"I don't feel good." He groans.

He got the all clear a few weeks ago. He ate all the sugar and candy he wanted in one day, and then said he had enough for awhile. Finnick isn't really a sweet tooth, but I guess being around all of it was taunting.

I look at him worried.

"What's wrong? How do you feel?" I ask.

He has that throw up look on his face.

"Finnick go to the bathroom." I say. Even if he doesn't get sick I don't want him to make a mess out here not just because it would be gross but, because Finnick would feel terrible.

He goes to bathroom and I follow him and he sits on the toilet.

"Do you feel like you're gonna get sick?" I ask him.

"A little." He says and puts his hands on his face."I didn't do anything if that is what you are wondering." He whispers.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"That I tried to-

I hug him and rub his back. I kiss his cheek.

"Finnick I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking you were going to throw up."

"Okay." He says

"But, I can't help you unless you tell me what you are feeling."

"I feel nauseous, I can hear my hearbeat in my ears,and my stomach really hurts Annie."

He doesn't feel hot so I don't think he has a fever.

"My head hurts." He says and puts his hands on his temples.

"Like you feel dizzy?" I ask worried.

"No like when you have a cold. It's all blocked up."

"Maybe you just have the flu Finnick."

"It doesn't feel like that Annie." He whispers.

"What do you want me to do?" I ask him. I'm not a doctor, I don't know what is wrong with him. I don't think it is anything major though.

He doesn't say anything he gets up off the toilet and throws up in it.

I rub his back.

"Do you feel better?" I ask him.

"No. My stomach really hurts Annie."

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" I ask him and stroke his hair.

"I… no if we go there they will just say I have the flu and we will waste all that time and money."

I stroke his hair.

"We have enough money Finnick, between the two of us I think we could buy most of the town."

"Just let me stay here."

"I think you're fine Finnick." I say and kiss his forehead. "I'm not a doctor though."

"I think I'm okay too." He says.

I nod.

"I'm gonna get you some water."

"Okay." He whimpers.

I head downstairs and get him a water bottle. I hear the toilet flush again.

I sigh.

"Can't Finnick catch a break." I whisper.

I head upstairs and get Finnick back in bed and he falls asleep quickly.

* * *

Finnick stayed in the bathroom almost all night throwing up. I was more worried that he was going to get dehydrated from losing all that fluid. I don't know what was wrong with him but he feels better now. I think it was a twelve hour thing.

He doesn't feel 100% yet but, I think he is going to be okay by tomorrow.

"Finnick." I say walking upstairs. I see he is sleeping, he did stay up all night throwing up.

I sit on the bed and run my fingers through his hair.

"I love you." I whisper and kiss his forehead.

I go downstairs and hear the laundry machine beep. Even though I told Finnick he had to do it for awhile he has been sick and I didn't want him to do anything even though he offered more than once. I shove the clothes in the dryer and start to fold the clothes that were in there.

"Annie." I hear a whisper behind me.

I turn around and see Finnick. He looks tired, confused and somehow shorter. I think it is because he is sick and not energetic Finnick.

"What's up?" I ask walking over towards him. He hugs me.

"I thought you left, I was worried." He says.

It's not a stupid thought the laundry room is at the back of the house. If you didn't know it was there you wouldn't know it existed. Even though this is the case it is a big room.

My mom always had to go into town to a laundromat to do the laundry. I think she liked having a personal one here while she lived with me. It doesn't really matter because I give some of my money to her, mostly because I won't be able to use all of it.

"I'm still here I wouldn't leave you." I tell him and kiss his cheek.

"I know I thought…" He trails off and I'm not going to ask what he was thinking.

"Do you want me to get you anything? Maybe make you something to eat?"

He nods.

"Okay." I say

I walk him to the kitchen.

"Do you want to go upstairs? You can tell me what you want and I can bring it to you."

"No I want to stay down here." He says. He sits at the kitchen table but, he lies his head down on it and cradles it in his arm.

"Finnick, I think you should go back upstairs." I say gently and walk behind him and rub his shoulders.

"No I want to stay here, I want to stay here." He whispers.

"Finnick-

"I want to stay here Annie!" He sits up and shouts.

"Okay." I say and back off.

He puts his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry." He says.

"It's okay."

"I just want to be better."

I rub his back.

"I think you're pretty okay, just give it a day or two." I say and kiss his cheek.

"I feel like I haven't in a while."

"Finnick you are okay."

"Okay." He whispers. I kiss his forehead.

"Okay." I say. "Now what do you want to eat?"

"Scrambled eggs please."

"Okay." I say. He lies his head back down on the table causing me to sigh. He should go back upstairs. I'm not going to tell him again. I don't think he is going to be sick again. I think he is just tired from all the vomiting and lack of sleep. I think he just wants to stay down here to prove he is actually alright like before. This time he actually isn't okay and should stay in bed. He is too proud to accept that or he is just tired of having something wrong with him.

I finish the scramble eggs and set them down on the table.

I stroke his hair.

"Finnick, your eggs are ready."

He sits up and I hand him the fork.

"Thank you." He says and eats slowly.

"You're welcome." I say and kiss his forehead.

I sit next to him.

It's silent while I watch him eat and rub his back.

He stops eating.

"Are you gonna get sick?" I ask worried.

"Daisies ." He says.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Outside." He says and I follow his gaze to the outside porch.

"Yes, they are usually there in the summer the groundskeepers plant them. Did you not have those?" I ask.

"No." He says. He takes a few bites of his eggs and then says. "I had roses. Pink." He says. "I hated them. I couldn't ask them to get rid of them because they regrow every year."

"Well you live here now, so you don't have to see them."

"I do live here now." He smiles.

He pushes his plate out of the way and puts his elbows on the table and his hands on his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask rubbing his back.

"Nothing really." He whispers.

"Okay." I say. The phone starts to ring.

I get up to answer it but, Finnick grabs my wrist.

"Don't answer it Annie." He says. He sounds afraid.

"Finnick my mom said she would call me today. It could be her."

He sighs.

"Finnick, I'm sure it's fine. If it is anyone else I will just hang up."

He shakes his head.

"They will keep calling." He whispers.

"Well, I will take the phone off the hook." I say with a smile.

He let's go of me and I get up to answer the phone.

"Hello?" I say. Finnick is looking at me worried. I wonder who he thinks might be on the other line.

"Annie?"

"Hi mom." I say and Finnick breathes in relief.

"How are you?" She asks.

"I'm alright" I say.

"Annie." She says again and then I turn to Finnick.

"You called my mom." I mouth and he nods. I sigh from anger. Finnick calls my mom sometimes after I become very upset or have an 'episode' as doctors would say. Which was a few days ago. I ended up locking myself in a closet because I thought Finnick was going to kill me. I don't understand why he stays with me. I have never tried to kill him but, I always wonder that if that will happen. I don't really know how to kill people so I doubt I wonder hurt him.

"I'm fine mom. Finnick took care of me which you already knew." I say annoyed.

"Annie, he knows I worry about you. I love you and so does he."

"I know." I mutter. "I just don't like when you guys go behind my back and talk about me."

"They are all good things Annie, I promise."

"Well that I can believe." I say smiling.

"I know sweets. I wanted to call you to ask if you wanted your pie pan back. I'm free today." She says. I know this isn't the reason, she wants to see me in person to make sure I'm okay.

"I don't know mom Finnick is sick and throwing up and stuff."

"Annie she can come here." Finnick says.

"Oh that's too bad. Finnick has seemed to have gotten a stroke of bad luck. Is he okay?"

"I think so, he just spent all night getting sick but, he is better now."

"Okay."

"Annie tell her she can come here." Finnick says again he is going to be angry if I say she can't.

"Mom, Finnick is _insisting_ that you come here." I say with my eyes closed and obvious disapproval in my voice.

"You don't want that though."

"Why would you say that?" I ask.

"He's in the room with you." She says already knowing the answer.

"Maybe." I say.

"There's no way on me not coming then." She says and I can tell she is smiling.

"So it would seem." I say.

"Call me when he falls asleep then." She says.

"Why would you-

"You said he was sick and spent all night getting sick. He will fall asleep again."

"Okay." I say.

"I love you Annie." She says.

"I love you too." I say and the phone line goes dead.

"What'd did she say?" Finnick asks with a smile.

"She said she would come by later."

"Okay." He says.

"Finnick, why don't you tell me when you call her?"

"Because I know you will get upset."

"I get more upset when you don't tell me and I find out."

He sighs.

"I guess that would be true. I know she worries about you."

"So do I, she is my mom." I smile.

"Okay." He says.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Who did you think was going to call?" I ask.

He swallows hard.

"Maybe someone from the Capitol… Snow, to give me my new client schedule." He says.

I stroke his hair and he hugs me.

"Don't worry about that now Finnick." I kiss his forehead.

"But it is inevitable I-

"It's going to drive you crazy worrying about it, just enjoy your time here."

"Enjoying being with you." He whispers.

"Maybe." I say smiling.

He takes a deep breath and let's go of me.

"I don't think I will be able to finish this." He says and motions towards the eggs.

"That's okay."

"I think I want to go upstairs." He whispers.

"Okay I'll help you."

"Okay." He says and I'm surprised he doesn't object.

I walk him upstairs and then tuck him back in bed.

I sit next to him until he falls asleep. Then I go downstairs and call my mom.

She comes over within twenty minutes and doesn't bother with a greeting she just hugs me.

She strokes my hair.

"I love you Annie."

"I love you too mom." I say.

She lets go of me and puts her hands on my face and hugs me again.

"Mom, I'm okay." I say.

"I know." She whispers and she lets go of me and we head to the kitchen. She hands me the pie tin and I put it away.

She sits at the table and I sit across from her.

"So Finnick is okay now?" She asks.

"I think so he hasn't been sick-

"I meant emotionally." She says. She had to stay with Finnick right after he was home because Marci and Jason were with Michael and he wouldn't let them see Finnick.

"Yes, he seems to be back to normal."

"Good, I'm glad both of you are alright."

"Me too." I say.

"Do you know when he has to go back to the Capitol it's been awhile." She says.

"I think they gave him some time to get better."

"How would they know when he is better?"

"Ask the doctor probably. I have a feeling it will be soon." I say.

She touches my arm and smiles.

"I can stay with you again Annie." She says.

"I know. I don't really want to think about this now." I whisper.

"Okay." She says.

We talk for awhile until we both hear Finnick saying my name.

"Do you need help with anything?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"No I got this." I say.

She smiles and kisses my forehead.

"I love you sweets." She says and leaves. I head upstairs to check on Finnick.

"Who was downstairs Annie?" He asks frightened.

"It was just my mom." I say and stroke his hair.

"Okay." He says.

"Did you want something?" I ask.

"Just wanted to see you. I don't know if it's because I'm sick or something but, the nightmares are so terrible Annie." He hugs me. "Terrible things happen to you and... I just want you to stay with me." He says and hugs me.

"I'm with you now." I say.

"You won't be when I go back to the Capitol." He whispers.

"Finnick Odair. You will be fine. You're the strongest person I knows and I don't mean physically." I whisper and kiss his check. "You'll be fine. Besides, just focus on being here."

"Okay." He says.

He lies back down and takes me with him and pulls me into him.

"I love you so much Annie." He whispers.

"I love you too Finnick I love you too."

I would kiss him but I don't want to get sick.

* * *

"Hey pretty lady." Finnick says running his hand over my shoulder blades and sitting next to me.

I smile.

"Hey handsome stud." I say and he rolls his eyes. "You feeling better?" I ask and lean into his chest.

"Well I won't be doing cartwheels but, yes I feel better than yesterday." He smiles

"That's good I'm glad." I look up and smile. "You've been sick so long." I whisper.

"Well by your definition I was for awhile but-

"Finnick." I say in a warning tone.

"Yes dear." He says sarcastically.

I close my eyes.

"Hey Annie." He says.

"Yes?" I say.

"I'm gonna do something for you tomorrow."

"What?" I ask.

"I don't know." He says and smiles mischievously.

"Finnick I think you should still take it easy no big Finnick gestures allowed."

"And what is a _big _Finnick gesture so I know I'm not breaking the rules." He smiles.

"Nothing outlandish and seemingly impossible to complete in twenty four hours and nothing too intense just-

"You're not making this fun Annie." He teases.

"Well I'm sorry about that." I smile.

"Compromise?" He says.

"Possibly."

"Let me do something that causes almost no work at all."

"That doesn't really help your case but, you're going to do it anyways."

"True." He smiles. "But just wait and see because." He squeezes my hips causing me to jump. "Bamb you're not gonna see it coming."

"Okay." I whisper.


	90. Chapter 90

**Chapter 90**

I wake up and don't see Finnick. I roll over and grab a pillow and grip it to my chest and close my eyes. The warmth feels almost like a blanket.

Last night wasn't a good night, I woke up screaming three times.

I move my hands into my head just reminding myself of it. I hear a loud banging noise and jump.

I head downstairs.

"Finnick?" I ask.

I don't see him so I wonder outside.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"You looking for me?" Finnick smiles coming from the side of the house.

I hug him.

"Are you okay?" He whispers and kisses the top of my head.

"I heard a noise." I whisper.

"Oh, I was hoping you didn't hear that." Finnick says awkwardly. I know that tone of voice, he did something he shouldn't have.

"What did you break?" I ask.

"Nothing really the water heater-

"What did I say about the big Finnick gestures." I accuse.

"Don't worry it's nothing outlandish and it can easily be done in 24 hours." He smiles.

"Well what about the water heater?"

"It just might be a little sketchy but other than that it's fine."

"I don't want cold showers." I say.

"I'm sure I can fix it."

"Finnick, I'm not letting you fix anything that complex."

He sighs.

"Fine, I'll get someone else to do it."

"Good." I pause. "I'm not going to like this am I?" I say weary.

"I don't know." He smiles.

"Let's just go." I say.

He leads me away from the house.

"Oh god, you really messed up didn't you." I say but, he doesn't answer me he just keeps walking.

He is walking me towards the private dock at Victors Village.

"You taking me out to sea?" I ask.

"Maybe." He smiles "I do own a boat. Did you know that it is supposed to be a clear night tonight? Perfect to view the stars." He says with that coy smile

I know Finnick has a boat and I have been on it a few times. It's nothing too flashy it's just a sail boat. He bought it shortly after his parents died to get away from Michael. He wouldn't go too far so he could still see Jason and Marci when he wasn't suicidal.

I can tell he likes going on it though, I think it reminds him of before the Hunger Games.

"No, I didn't Mr. Weatherman. How did you?"

"I watch the weather reports"

"You actually use our tv?" I ask surprised.

"Only to watch the weather I mean we only get like five channels." He says. We do and most of them are the required channels we have to watch if there is a government announcement.

"You're taking me on your boat aren't you? To look at the sky?"

"You're so smart Annie."

"But, I just got up." I say.

"This can be an all day thing Annie." He smiles

I sigh.

"Unless you want to go home." He says and stops leading me. "I didn't think of the water Annie I-

I sigh he's afraid I don't want to go because we will be surrounded by water. I don't have problems with water unless I am swimming but, that was not the problem

"Finnick I just got up, if you didn't notice. I'm still in my pajamas, hair unkept, teeth unbrushed, I haven't showered, or-

"I guess I didn't realize because you're so beautiful to me Annie."

I look at him with a dumbfound expression.

"Don't give me that look Annie Cresta. I'm sure you think I look nice in the morning too."

"No I don't." I say quickly.

"So quick to answer." He smiles.

"Well the attitude alone-

"We are just talking about how I look."

I roll my eyes.

"Well, your hair looks like you've been electrified. How the hell does that happen anyways, even if you toss and turn."

"Cursing Cresta really?" He smiles " And I don't know how my hair gets messy." He smiles. "So we all good for this? You'll be okay with the water and everything?" He asks me.

"You're not going to throw me in are you?"

"Not today I'll save that for tomorrow." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"Don't push me in and I will be okay."

"Okay." He says.

"I'm going home to get ready for my day." I smiling. "And if anyone gets pushed in the water it will be me pushing you." I say.

"Well if you're strong enough I will let you."

"Awesome." I smile. "I'm going to get ready." I say again and turn around

"Annie." He says more seriously and I turn around.

"Yes?" I ask.

"If you want to shower you'll have to go to my house." He says.

"What did you do to the water heater?"

"I um… that's surprise number two."

"You broke the pluming this is starting to seem like a big Finnick gesture." I say.

"No, it's not besides I will call people when you are in the shower to fix my mess." He says.

"What did you break?"

"Maybe one of the pipes and crack the window." He clears his throat. "But beside that." He smiles.

"When you did these things before we lived together you broke things didn't you?"

"Don't shatter the illusion Annie."

I sigh.

"You're such a spaz." I say.

"I don't think that's the right word." He says.

"Then pray tell what is?" I ask somewhat sarcastic.

"Awesome, amazing, lovea-

"Finnick, breaking everyday things is not awesome or amazing."

"You'll be changing your mind later tonight." He says smiling.

"Well as long as it is fixed soon, I'm sure it will be fine." I pause. "Is it worth it?" I ask smiling.

"Isn't it always?" He smiles.

"Is this what you do with all your money, waste it all on me?"

"I'm not wasting anything Annie. Besides, I don't think I could ever spend all of it. Even with giving Marci and Jason."

"Well..."

"Hey Annie speaking of my sister-

"Yes?"

"Do you know the deal with her and that _Bryson_." He says in a protective tone. The same tone he uses when we are in the Capitol and people are talking about me.

I smile.

"Why?" I ask.

"Is that her boyfriend? I didn't want her to have a boyfriend."

"You sound like Jason. Why are older brothers so protective?"

"Because she needs it."

I roll he eyes.

"I don't think it is her boyfriend." I say truthfully.

"There sounds like a but at that sentence."

"Why don't you ask your sister."

"She didn't like the accusation."

"How did you ask her?" I ask.

"Why does that matter."

I sigh.

"She was right you both are as dumb as a sack of rocks."

He sighs.

"I'm sure she can handle herself Finnick, besides unless this Bryson is like a psychopath I think you're okay."

He smiles.

"Okay." He says and kisses me.

I walk back to his house and take the shower and wonder what he was doing that would break the water heater.

I go downstairs and see him sitting there smugly.

"Miss Cresta."

"Are you telling me to dress to impress again?" I ask

"No your shorts and shirt thing is fine."

"Shirt thing?" I ask.

"It looks like two shirts." He says touching my shirt.

"That's because it is."

I say and separate the two straps.

"See." I say.

"I do like the pink and yellow contrast though, very summery." He smiles.

"Since when are you a fashion expert?" I tease.

"Well I'm good at everything." He teases and flips his hair.

I roll my eyes.

"You all good or do you want to do anything else?" He asks.

"I want to eat something." I say.

"Okay." He says and leads me to the kitchen.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"Yes." He says.

I look him up and down and hug him. I lean my head in his chest.

"Is something wrong Annie?" He asks and pushes hair behind my ear.

"No." I sigh and look up at him. "I just love you."

"I love you too Annie." He kisses me.

I eat something and then we head back to the dock and we get on his boat. It isn't like I remembered, he decorated it for this Finnick gesture and he has those firefly lights I like.

"Okay caption let's go." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"I forgot you don't know how to do any of this." He smiles.

"Sorry I'm a boat novice."

"Well it doesn't matter just sit right there and look pretty on the patio."

"Is this really a patio if it is outside?"

"Don't ruin it Cresta I made it all nice for you." He smiles. I roll my eyes and take a seat and watch him work the sails and spin the wheel. I look at the horizon and see that the ocean goes on and on I wonder if it ever stops.

I see Finnick come up here. He pulls me up and sits down and places me on his lap.

"If you wanted me to sit on your lap you could've just said something."

"But his was more fun." He says.

I wrap my arms around his neck and lean my head on his chest.

"Finnick we are floating still did you put an anchor down or something?"

He rolls his eyes.

"I know what to do Annie, I knew hows to do this when I was a child, that's why I was good with that trident."

"I always thought those were used for ruling the sea not doing… whatever the hell fishermen use them for." I say smiling.

"Ruling the seas?" He asks hiding a laugh.

"You know like in the lost city with mermaids. The strongest rulers had tridents to protect the city from evil."

"Are you making his up?" He asks laughing.

"No, it's like children stories you didn't hear any of those?"

"No." He smiles.

"Well you could be Finnick Odiar ruler of the seven seas with his trident and his sidekick Annie Cresta with the brains." I smile.

He is smiling.

"What?"

"And you call me a dork." He says and kisses my forehead.

I roll my eyes.

"Slightly." I say and look up and kiss him.

"So those firefly lights turn on?" I ask looking at them.

"When it gets dark yes."

"Okay." I say.

"They're purple too."

"Really." I say in awe.

"It's your favorite color."

"I feel like I should start doing Annie gestures I mean." I motion around.

"Annie this wasn't very hard. The lights were left over from that starry night thing and I didn't buy the boat for you."

"Okay then the water heater?"

"That Annie is a surprise for when we get home." He says and kisses me.

"You're gonna blow up the house." I say.

"If I would do anything I think I would flood it." He says and strokes my hair. "I'm not going to though." He whispers and kisses my cheek. He probably is worried that I would become afraid by this statement. I do have recurring nightmares of that.

"Well if you really mess up the house we can move into yours." I say.

"Well there is that." He says.

I look at him.

"I love you."

"I love you too Annie."

I lift my head up and look at the horizon.

"You think we could run away on this thing?"

"Annie no." He says and puts his finger on my cheek so I will look at him. "Besides where would we run?" He asks.

"I was just saying. I didn't really mean it Finnick." I look at him. "Have you thought about that before?"

"A little bit, I mean there is nowhere really to run because people will always find us."

I smile.

"Well I still like it out here, it seems like time almost stands sill… almost." I say.

"Yeah." He says. "I like it too."

The sun starts to go down in a few hours and the firefly lights have started to glow and Finnick was right, they are purple.

He set a table so it is outlying the sunset as we eat.

"So Finnick."

"Yes Annie?" He smiles

"Where do you get these ideas?"

He smirks.

"They are standard clichés Annie, don't give me that much credit." He smiles "But, there is a reason why they are clichés, it's because they work."

"Work?" I smile.

"Make the girl feel happy."

"I don't make any big gestures for you." I say feeling slightly guilty.

"Don't worry Annie, just being around me is the greatest thing you could do."

"That's all you need to do too."

"I know but, I like doing this it's fun and we get to leave the house."

"We can leave the house whenever Finnick." I say even as those words leave my lips I don't buy it. I can't go into town anymore.

"I know but this is different and fresh." He smiles.

It starts to get dark and the firefly light are on full blast.

The sky and water are so clear that they look the same from the reflection.

I look around.

"It's like we're in the sky." I smile.

"Yeah it is." Finnick says and kisses me and I lean down towards the sky gazing blanket until I am lying on my back.

I open my eyes and see the sky but, can also see the stars bouncing off the ocean. It's like I'm in some mythical land where no one was ever been before.

Finnick kisses me again and I close my eyes and let it consume me.

* * *

I wake up to the hot sun on my warm flesh. Finnick and I stayed out all night.

I sit up and don't see Finnick next to me. I see why he is being a creep and watching me sleep. I look around and see he sailed us back to the private port in Victors Village.

I wonder how long he has been watching me.

I walk over to him.

"Good morning." I say smiling.

"And a good morning to you Annie." He smiles back.

"How long were you watching me?" I ask.

"No idea I don't have a watch out here. It didn't feel like very long but, I could look at you all day and it still wouldn't feel long." He smiles.

I sigh and kiss him.

"You wanna go home?" He asks.

I nod.

"I feel tired still." I say.

"It's probably pretty early still." He says.

He helps me off the boat.

I hold his hand and we go home. I walk through the door and look at the clock and see it reads 7:00 I am never awake this early unless I have to be.

I'm about to go upstairs but then I remember something.

"Didn't you have a surprise number two?" I ask Finnick.

"I do but, it is a better night time thing. I will show you later." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Okay." I say and go upstairs and lie in bed and snuggle into the covers. I have no idea if Finnick is coming up here and I don't really care because I feel so comfortable.

If though what Finnick did was simplistic I will never forget how the water reflected the sky like that. Besides, like he said they are clichés and that is why they work.

* * *

I wake up in a few hours and see Finnick next to me, I didn't even realize he was there. I must have fallen asleep pretty quickly then

I look at the clock and see it is ten in the morning now a more reasonable hour to start the day to.

I sigh and head downstairs. I go to the kitchen and notice there is a piece of paper near the phone. I pick it up and realize what it is within seconds. Finnick has to leave, Finnick has to go back to the Capitol. I wonder when he got the phone call, it wasn't here before we left yesterday or was it? I didn't really pay attention I ate breakfast at Finnick's house. Maybe it was when I was asleep.

I could pick up phone and hit the redial button but I don't want to do that.

I hear the stairs creek as I look at the this.

Finnick wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head in the crook in my neck.

"When did you get the phone call?" I ask

"Soon after we got back. Someone called yesterday, you could tell because the phone was blinking green." He says.

"So you're leaving…

"Tomorrow." He says. Even though I knew this from the piece of paper.

"What time?"

"Early." He whispers.

"How early?" I ask.

"The train leaves at seven so probably around six thirty I'll leave the house."

I lean back against his chest.

"Don't worry Annie it's only for a few days." He says and kisses the top of my head.

I swallow hard.

"Finnick."

"Yes Annie?" He says.

"I love you." I say.

He spins me around and kisses me gently.

"I love you too." He says.

"So what's this special surprise?"

"Like I said later." He smiles

"Why did you do two things?"

"They just happened to coincide with each other."

"Okay." I pause. "So when is later?"

"Anxious aren't we." He smiles. "It needs to get dark." He says.

"Is the water heater fixed?" I ask.

"Yup." He says.

"The window?" I ask.

"No, just don't go in the creepy back hallway and it won't matter."

"I don't go back there, that's why it's named the creepy back hallway." I say.

"I know." He smiles.

He sits at one of the bar stools for the island and I walk to the kitchen.

"Do you want me to make you anything?" I ask.

He shakes his head and puts his hand up.

"Nah, not very hungry."

"I'm surprised you are speaking with me when you just got up."

"Mmh I've been up for a bit. After that phone call I wanted to be close to you."

"You're eyes were closed."

"I might have dozed off but I was awake for a few hours."

"So you were watching me sleep _again_."

"Yup." He smiles.

"What is so fascinating about me sleeping that you can watch for hours?" I ask.

"You look so peaceful." He says and smiles "I like that."

I smile.

"Besides, don't act like you've never watched me sleep before." He smiles.

"Not for hours like some stalker."

"Annie, we have been through this I have an unhealthy obsession with you."

"I don't know why you brag about that, it is a common thing among stalkers."

"Well, I don't care because I love you and I'm not afraid to say that."

I smile and sit next to him.

"I love you too." I say.

* * *

It starts to get dark out and I'm tired of waiting to see what this surprise is.

"Okay Finnick it's dark what is it?" I ask.

"Just give me a minute."

He says and flips a switch.

"Okay, close your eyes." He says.

"Okay." I say and do but, he covers them with his hand still.

"Why are you taking me to the backyard?"

"You'll see." He says and I can hear the smile in his voice.

He moves me somewhere outside and then starts to fiddle with things.

"Okay, you can open your eyes." He says and removes his hands.

"How do you pull these things off in twenty four hours?" I ask.

"This was actually in motion ever since I moved in."

"Really?" I ask.

"I got help from the groundskeepers and everything and ever season it will be a new everything, lights, flowers, all of it."

"Seems like a lot of work."

"Not really." He says and I sit at one of the new benches placed over a flower chain.

I look at all the lights and flowers and the small fountain now sitting in the backyard. It looks like an enchanted forest. I told Finnick once that I always wanted some fancy over the top garden. With flowers everywhere and a fountain in it so I could sit all day and be engulfed by nature.

"How much did this cost?" I ask as he sits next to me.

"Not that much." He smiles.

"Finnick there is a small fountain in our backyard."

"You said you wanted a fountain and lots of flowers of all different kinds."

"I know I like the fairy lights it's a nice touch."

"I thought you would since you love them."

"Since you moved in you've been working on this?" I ask.

"Yup, it took awhile to get the structure right and all the flowers I knew you liked and to make sure the smells didn't over power one another."

"You talked to Didi the florist didn't you?" I ask.

"Of course." He smiles.

"Now the lights and fountain aren't automatic there's a switch inside. Which I had an electrician hook up because I didn't want to get shocked." He smiles "Also if you want to shower you should turn the fountain off because the water pressure with be bad."

I smile and kiss him.

"I really need to do something for you." I say.

"Like I said-

"When you come home I'm gonna do something for you."

"And I won't see it coming?"

"Nope." I say.

He kisses me.

"I love you Annie."

"I love you too." I say and kiss him.

* * *

"Annie." I hear a faint whisper.

I feel the soft touch of Finnick's fingers running through my hair.

I open my eyes slowly and sit up.

"Time to leave?" I whisper.

He sits next to me and pushes hair behind my ear.

"Time to leave." He says and kisses my forehead.

I sigh and hug him.

He rubs my back.

"Don't worry Annie it's only for three days this time."

I can feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"I love you." I whisper into his chest.

"I love you too Annie." He says and smooths my hair.

I pull back and he wipes the tears away.

"I don't want to be away from you. "

"Annie." He whispers again.

"I know it's a really bad thing to say but-

He kisses me.

"You can say whatever you want Annie. It's okay besides, I don't want to be away from you either. But here we are."

"Here we are." I say.

He kisses me.

"I love." He says.

"I love you more."

"Not possible." He says causing me to smile and so does.

He gets up to leave.

"Be careful." I say softly.

He turns around and comes back to me.

"Don't worry Annie I always am." He says and kisses me.

"Okay." I say

Finnick gets up to leave. "Now when I get home Annie I expect to see your grand Annie Cresta gesture because let me tell you I have very high expectations." He says and places hair behind my ear and kisses my cheek.

"Okay." I say with a smile and watch him leave. I grab a pillow and press it to my chest and lean back into bed.

I start to get that feeling whenever he leaves. Loneliness. I never really felt it before but, now I feel it whenever he is away. Whenever he is in the Capitol.

It doesn't matter who is with me because it never goes away no matter who is around me it is still there eating away at me. It never goes away unless Finnick is there. Which I'm not sure is a good thing.

**A/N: Hello all! Ninety chapters can you believe it?! Thank you so much for reading! I also wanted to say that I probably won't be updating as often for a bit because I'm a little busy at the moment but, I will update once a week at the very least. Also I wanted to say that the end where Annie is talking about being lonely I got the idea from the song Delicate by Fauntella Crow. The song is so beautifully haunting and it came up on shuffle while writing this chapter and it made me think of Annie. Anyways thank you again for reading!**


	91. Chapter 91

**Chapter 91**

_Drip Drip Drip. _I hear as I wake up and sigh. I'm assuming it has to do with Finnick breaking one of the pipes. Finnick said it was fixed but he could've lied or thought it was fixed. Finnick is not very useful with these kinds of things.

_Drip Drip Drip. _I hear again and head downstairs. My mom is coming over later today to make sure I'm okay. I don't think she needs to stay with me this time because it is only three but, I do want her to come over.

_Drip Drip Drip. _I hear but, don't see where it is coming from, but that doesn't mean it isn't there.

I sigh and figure to just look for it later.

After breakfast I sit down on the couch.

_Drip Drip Drip_

"Where are you coming from?" I whisper.

When my mom gets here she can help me look. If she doesn't hear it though it is all in my head.

I sigh hoping that is not the case. I start reading something and then feel something wet on my hand.

"Did I find you." I whisper hoping this is where the dripping noise is coming from.

I wipe the water on my shorts and go back to reading, but it keeps dripping even after I have moved.

I look up and see a somewhat puddle on the ceiling.

"A leak, good lord Finnick." I mutter and get water on my forehead. I can feel it drip slowly down my face. I wipe it off but, when I pull my hand away it isn't water.

I look down on my shorts and see not water spots but a stain. A blood stain.

It starts to drip more it's almost raining.

_Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip. _I hear as the drops of blood hit the floor.

_Drip. Drip._

I get up but the puddle has gotten bigger.

_Drip. Drip._

No matter how much I wipe away the blood it keeps coming back.

I go to the kitchen I'm not being rained on, but I can see it still pouring blood in the living room, getting all over the couch.

_It's not real._ I close my eyes as think to myself.

I start to wipe the blood away, but it keeps coming back.

"Get off! Get off!" I start screaming.

I can feel tears start to run from my eyes. I see my reflection in the toaster and see I'm crying blood.

"It's not real!" I shot causing more blood to spill from my eyes.

_Drip Drip Drip._

I just run from the house not bothering to do anything. I end up laying in the middle of victors village on the cold stone streets.

I just lay here. I look up at the sky. It is a gray gloomily day.

I swallow hard and can feel a tear leak from my eye and hit the stone pavement.

"Please don't rain." I whisper.

"Annie?" I hear a voice say from far away and they kneel next to me.

"Annie why are you all wet?" I hear my mom ask.

"Because it's raining blood inside." I whisper. As I say this I know I must sound crazy.

She looks at me strangely.

"Let's go back inside I think it is going to start raining out here." She says and gets me to sit up. She wraps her arm around me and rubs my shoulder.

"You're okay Annie." She whispers and kisses my forehead. "Let's get you up." She says and after a few minutes I stand up and walk back to my house.

My mom comes in the living room.

"Annie I think you just have a leak, what is above the living room?" She asks.

"One of the bedrooms." I whisper.

"It could be coming from the bathroom. I'll call someone to fix it, okay?" She says and I nod.

She comes over to the kitchen and retrieves the bucket I use for cleaning. She places it where the leak is.

She comes back over and hugs me.

"I think you should get into some dry clothes Annie, you're shivering." She whispers and kisses my forehead.

I snuggle into her chest and close my eyes. I breathe in and out.

"Can you stay here if it rains." I whisper.

"Of course Annie." She says and kisses my forehead.

I head upstairs and put on pajamas and lie down on the bed pressing a pillow to my chest.

I get up and head downstairs. I see my mom cleaning the living room.

"You don't has to do that mom." I say.

"It's okay Annie. I what to take care of my little girl." She smiles. "I called someone and they won't be able to come over until tomorrow. Do you want me to stay until they fix it."

I nod.

"Okay." She says and walks to the kitchen but, stops when she sees the backyard. "Annie you have the most beautiful garden in your backyard. When did that get there?"

"Finnick did it. He said he was working on it ever since he moved in." I smile. "He hooked up a fountain, so I think that is why there is a leak."

"I see, well it will get nice and fixed." She smiles. "Finnick really is one of a kind." She says.

"I know, I want to do something for him… but, I don't know what."

"Whatever you do will be fine. It doesn't have to be big. Just have it come from the heart Annie."

I nod and hug her.

"Okay." I whisper.

She makes dinner and then stays the night in case it rains. She didn't need to go home because she leaves things here for such occasions.

* * *

It didn't rain last night which I am thankful for.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. I'm munching on my cereal when I hear a knock on my door and jump. It isn't a knock and more of a pound.

I'm assuming it is the person supposed to fix the leak.

I'm alone right now because my mom stepped out to go shopping and I don't want to go into town. I don't want to deal with people in town.

The person is knocking vigorously on my door. I wouldn't think someone I am paying would be doing it so loud. It is almost frightening.

I head to the door despite the feeling in my chest that says to leave it closed. I open the door and they storm in not bothering to ask.

"Alright where is that bastard?" Michael says.

"He's-

"Don't try and protect him Annie."

"He's-

"That _mistake_ has a lot of nerve to take my money away. Now where is he Annie."

I remember Finnick saying he was going to move around some of his money and I know he gives some to Michael. I think it was more for Jason and Marci.

"That was Finnick's money, he didn't steal from you." I say trying to say calmly, when truth be told I'm terrified. Michael has grabbed me forcefully before and I've heard all he's done. I'm all by myself and can't defend myself.

"Listen, I don't know what the _mistake _has been telling you but it isn't true."

I close my eyes and breathe in and out.

"Please get out of my house." I try to say with force but it is too shaky.

He smirks.

"Just tell me where that bastard is and I will leave you alone. I know I'm making you _uncomfortable_." He says almost threatening me. He hasn't referred to Finnick by name once it has been mistake or bastard and that makes me feel sad. I have been told Michael did this to Finnick, but I didn't think he never called Finnick by his name. He did when Marci was around although I'm sure she knows he does it by now.

I wonder why he thinks Marci is the best out of all of them. He doesn't care for Jason and he despises Finnick, but he feels something for Marci. Maybe it's because she is a girl. I would say it is because she looks like his sister but she doesn't. She has light brown hair and fair skin. The only thing she really shares with her mother are those green eyes. Jason looks like their dad but Finnick is the one who looks like his mom, just like her. I wonder if that is a another reason why Michael hates him. The person he thinks should be dead looks exactly like his sister.

"Finnick is currently in the Capitol." I say.

"When is he coming back?" He demands.

"Three days." I say. Which isn't true but,I want to tell Finnick about this first.

"What time?"

"I don't know." I say.

"Fine, but you make sure to tell that _mistake_ that I will be coming back. I know he wastes all of his money on you Annie. I would say you are trying to drain him dry but you have as much money as he does. I guess he got what he deserved though. A _mistake_ like that doesn't deserve a jem. Which is why he settled for someone _crazy_."

"Get out of my house!" I end up shouting surprising not only him, but me too.

"Fine, but you let that bastard know." He says and leaves my house.

I lean against a wall until I'm sitting on the floor with my knees pressed to my chest and start sobbing.

I hear the door open and jump.

"Annie what's wrong?" My mom says dropping the groceries on the floor no longer caring about them.

She sits next to me and strokes my hair.

"Shhhh." She says as I lean into her. I'm debating if I should tell her that Michael came over and yelled at me or just don't say anything. I cry all the time so it wouldn't really matter if I didn't say anything.

I stop crying and just keep leaning on her shoulder. She keeps her arms safely placed around me as if to protect me, if something or someone attacked me right now.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out.

I look up at her and she wipes the tears away.

"You're okay Annie." She says and kisses my forehead.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too Annie. Do you want to stand up?" She asks. I nod and sit at the kitchen table.

"Are you alright?" She asks and smooths my hair.

"I will be." I whisper.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

_Yes_. I think to myself.

"No." I say instead.

I have told her about Michael well that day I yelled at Michael after I found out he abused Finnick as a child I kind of had to. The reason I fell into the lake was because he was holding onto me tightly.

I wonder if he would ever lay his hands on me. He has forcefully grabbed my arm more than once which makes bruises the next morning. If he ever did Finnick or Jason would do something about it, because they would both be furious.

I sit here for a few minutes and then help her bring in the groceries.

She sits across from me and watches me eat my cereal as she puts the groceries away. She comes here so often that she knows where everything goes.

"Do you think I can shower?" I ask her.

"I think you should wait a bit Annie, until it is fixed."She smiles.

"Okay." I say. I sit at the table wondering what Michael is going to do to Finnick when he gets back. My mouth goes dry just thinking about it.


	92. Chapter 92

**Chapter 92**

I hear the phone start to ring.

My stomach starts forming knots because the last time the phone rang and Finnick wasn't here I got told he was hurt.

I close my eyes and pick up the phone.

"Hello."

"Annie?" I hear on the other line and open my eyes. It is a male voice that sounds familiar. It doesn't belong to Snow it belongs to someone else.

"Who's this?" I say.

"I wanted to let you know..." He pauses. "Oh right is Finnick there?"

"Blake." I say confused.

"Yes?" He purrs.

"Why are you calling me?" I ask stifling a laugh from his seductive nature.

"Technically I wanted to talk to Finnick."

"Well he is in the Capitol"

"Oh that's right." He says "I'll call later then."

"Hold up, don't you want to leave a message or anything?" I ask.

"I… listening Annie you're a nice girl and cute-

"Cut to the chase Blake." I say annoyed.

"Listen Annie I can't leave you a message."

"Why the hell not?" I ask confused.

"A) I don't like doing that because I'm afraid it will never get passed along." He says and I can hear the smug smile. I smile as well. I like Blake even though he can be creepy at times. When it comes down to it though I know he is a good person.

"I'm very loyal Blake." I say.

"I know and B) this information is just for Finnick's ears not yours."

"What the hell does that mean?" I ask.

"Listen Annie..." He pauses for a few minutes.

"Hello?" I ask thinking he has hung up.

"I just can't tell you." He says firmly. "There are some things you can't know, not everyone could know everything I mean where would the fun be in that?" He says

"Well when people keep saying that to you there is really no fun in it."

"Annie come on. I know just a smidge more than you."

I know now it has to do with that dumb secret. I'm pretty sure he figured out I knew that already. He knows I'm not stupid but, I wonder why he just knows a little bit more than me.

"I doubt that is true."

"Listen Annie I got hit in the head hard when I was in the arena. I developed short term memory loss. Which is why they don't tell me much because I forget things and might end up telling people." He says he sounds sincere

"Like on the elevator."

"Yes." He says

"Well I'm sorry."

"You didn't wack me in the back of the head with a bat."

"What's your story Blake?"

"Now Annie you're not supplied to ask that it's the unspoken victor law." He says. I can tell he isn't hurt by the question but, that isn't what I meant.

"No, not your games your life...I mean why do you act like a creepy ass sometimes and then other times a nice guy."

"I don't think I'm creepy." He says and I can hear the smile "But I do know what you mean." He pauses. "Let's just say I like to play a character sometimes to make life more… fun."

"Character?"

"Oh yes the handsome victor from District Nine who likes to bed women is the perfect part." He says sarcastically

"Because you can get any girl you want?" I ask

"No... because it makes life livable. Like why Gloss doesn't talk or Johanna acts all mean when in reality she just wants someone to hug her. We do it to survive Annie, almost like a defense mechanism. However, there are obvious moments where the true person we are shines through."

"I see." I kind of knew this already. "Why is that your defense mechanism?"

"Why do people do the things we do?"

"Gloss says he only answers when it is important. Johanna is angry because Snow killed everyone she loved. What about you?" I say I don't except him to answer.

"What would you do right now if Finnick died?" He asks abruptly.

"What?"

"Like he fell down and he was just dead."

"I don't know scream and cry."

"Okay what would you do probably a month later?"

"I don't know be depressed?"

"Meaning you would sit around all day not doing anything."

"I guess. Where are you going with this?" I ask.

"They say when someone dies the way you deal with it shows the true person you are." He says.

I remember a few years ago I was talking with Blake.I asked him if he ever thought one person would be enough. He said there was no fun in that because you would always be threatened and worried about Snow killing them.

"He kill her?" I ask.

"Annie Cresta so quick to assume that is what happened." He says I can tell he is smiling but he sounds sad.

"It was heavily implied." I mutter.

"Well ever since then I've become the creepy guy as you so kindly put it. Trying to keep me distracted like I said I already have a bad attention span but sometimes I just think of one thing and I don't like that Annie."

"I see." I say sadly.

"It's not like she was the love of my life Annie. It's not like you and Finnick... she was just someone I knew since I was little. Someone you expect to always be there but, then she just... disappeared." He says.

"How does your deal with Snow work then?"

"Let's just say it is complex because sometimes I want. I just have a number I'm supposed to meet think of it like a quota."

"Oh." I say.

"I don't really want to talk about this." He says.

"I see." I mutter.

"Annie... there's things you can't know. Secrets that aren't meant to be heard and not just you I mean everyone."

_Secrets_ I think to myself. Like in those files. I remember the name Plutarch Heavensbee. I wonder if Blake knows him. I wonder if Blake could tell me more.

"Blake do you know someone named-

"Listen I would love to talk to you more but, I promised Talia I would see her." He says nervously.

"Uhh okay." I say confused.

"Okay." He says still sounding nervous.

"Tell her I said hi." I say.

"Will do." He says.

"Do you want me to tell Finnick you called."

The line is silent.

"Blake?" I ask. Thinking he hung up.

"Yes, tell him I called." Blake says still sounding nervous.

"Okay." I say.

"It was a pleasure Annie."

"Bye Blake." I say.

The line is silent but then I hear a noise.

"Blake?" I ask. The noise goes away and then I just hear the receiver.

"Strange." I whisper.

"I wonder why he got so freaked out when I asked if he knew someone." I whisper.

I do believe that he doesn't know much more than me. He does let things slip a lot. He has just told me personal things that he forgot he wasn't supposed to mention.I remember him talking with Jay because he was the new victor. He was talking to him I don't know what he was saying but Esmeralda literally dragged him away and it wasn't because she 'wanted' him. She was disappointed with him and was scolding him.

I wonder if Blake just knows the big picture and not the small details. After all you can't tell someone things if you are afraid they will spill the beans. It makes them a liability and Blake is definitely a liability.

* * *

I'm lying down on one of the benches outside in the garden and I'm letting the sun hit my skin. I can hear the water trickle from the fountain.

The leak finally got fixed and I can sit in the living room in peace again. I haven't heard from Michael and I don't know if that is a good thing or not. Only time will tell. I have a feeling it doesn't matter because I know whatever that man does will be bad.

Ever since that phone call from Blake I have wondered if I should look at those files again. Doing it makes me feel slimy though and I know it is a bad idea because Finnick will probably find out and that is one argument I will not be able to win. I should just bow down at his feet and do whatever he wishes if he ever finds out.

I sigh out of boredom.

I know what I should be doing. I should be trying to figure out my grand Annie gesture. Finnick does come home late tomorrow. I will probably be asleep by the time he comes home. Which means I have a day and a half.

I close my eyes.

Think of something cheesy… something easy… something Finnick will like.

I sit up realizing what I should do. I just hope I can get it done in time.


	93. Chapter 93

**Chapter 93**

"Okay, how's this?" I ask Lana.

"What is it with you and Finnick trying to one up each other?" Lana asks.

"I'm not trying to one up him, I've never really done anything for him." I say.

"Well, if this is the first thing he will be impressed. I am I mean who comes up with an idea like this out of the blue."

"It wasn't that hard."

She rolls her eyes.

"Your just lucky Jason wasn't doing anything so he could help you."

"Hey, I didn't need his help that much."

Lana scoffs.

"Okay fine but, it looks good right?"

"Yes it does look good. I wish I had enough money to make these big gestures."

"It wasn't that expensive Lana. The hard part was doing the construction. Which Finnick isn't that great either so I'm sure if I just tried he would've liked it."

"Please, you could give him a bottle of your own air and he would think that was good enough." She smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"I think we should try this out, you know to make sure it works." Lana smiles.

"I was going to ask you to do a test run with me."

"Okay good, so do I get purple or green?" She smiles.

"The purple is mine, green is Finnick's because it is his favorite color."

"You really did put a lot of time thinking about this."

"Knowing someones favorite color is not that hard."

"True, true but you did think to put in the small details."

"Whatever let's just go." I say.

"As you wish Annie." Lana says smiling.

* * *

I hear footsteps in my bedroom and am afraid of who it might be.

"Don't worry Annie it's just me." I hear Finnick say. I wonder if he knew I was awake or if he was just saying it in case.

I sit up and smile Finnick doesn't look all broken, he looks the same he does when he comes back.

"So-

"It was fine Annie." Finnick says his tone has a fair amount of annoyance in it.

"What's wrong Finnick?" I ask.

"Nothing." He says.

I know that's a lie but, I'm not going to ask him again not when he is in a mood like this.

"Okay." I say.

Finnick lies down and closes his eyes and breathes in and out deeply.

"Finnick?"

"Annie." He says and opens his eyes and looks at me and smiles. "I'm disappointed in you."

"What, why?" I ask confused.

"Where's the gesture." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"I have it all set up for tomorrow and it's going to rock your world." I smile.

"Okay Annie Cresta but, you better know my standards are very high." He smiles and kisses me but, I can tell something is bothering him. I wish he would tell me.

"Finnick."

"Yesss." He smiles.

"Are you sure you're alright." I say.

"I- I don't really want to talk about this now Annie. I will tomorrow I promise."

"Okay." I say.

He hugs me and kisses the top of my head.

"I love you though... so much." He whispers.

"I love you too Finnick." I whisper. He lets go of me and then we head to sleep. Finnick goes to sleep first and I watch him, he looks peaceful but, I wonder what is bothering him so much.

* * *

"Annie." Finnick says shaking me frantically. I'm confused because he is doing it with lots of force and not gently like usual.

He pushes me up and hugs me. I lean into him and almost fall asleep I am still tired.

"Annie." He says softly and runs his fingers through my hair.

"What's wrong Finnick?" I mumble barely getting the words out.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Of course I am." I whisper into his chest.

"Good. That's good." He says.

"Why would you think something was-

"I just-

"Nightmare?" I ask.

"Something like that." He says and my head droops down some. I want to find out what is bothering him but if he doesn't let go I will fall right back to sleep.

"Finnick do you want to talk about this?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything then a thought occurs to me, maybe he can't talk about it because it has to do with the dreaded secret.

"Can you talk about this?" I ask.

"I can... when I was in the Capitol Snow was just and I'm just" He sighs. "I just glad you're alright." He says and lays me back down on the bed still holding onto me.

I lean against him and can feel myself falling asleep but I should ask him.

"What did Snow do?"

"Nothing." He says.

"What?" I ask again.

"He did nothing Annie."

"Finnick I'm almost asleep so-

"He didn't do anything Annie." He doesn't elaborate probably hoping I will connect the dots but I'm too hazy to do that now.

He sighs.

"Snow didn't do anything which means what he is going to do as punishment hasn't happened yet. He wants me to think I will get away with it so when he strikes things will be worse and blow up into a million pieces."

"That what happened with your parents?" I yawn.

"Yes." He whispers

"I don't think Snow is going to hurt anyone Finnick."

He doesn't say anything.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"He said he really just needs one person." He says softly.

"He isn't going to kill anyone Finnick." I say again and actually have my eyes open. Finnick looks terrified. He just had a nightmare I can tell.

"Finnick it was just a bad dream Snow isn't going to-

"Annie." He says and grips me tightly.

"It was just a nightmare Finnick."

"No it wasn't." He says. He sounds so sure. I wonder if this is what I sound like.

"Sweetie, it was just a dream it's fine. We are all going to be okay, okay?" I say.

"But Annie you don't know what Snow said before I left."

"Finnick this time it wasn't your fault a client tried to murder you-

"But I had to cancel those-

"You shouldn't have been released from the hospital as soon as you were. Finnick you're fine. I'm fine. Everyone else you love is fine." I say and kiss his cheek.

"You can't say that Annie you don't know."

I look at the clock it is two in the morning.I would suggest calling Jason or Marci but it is late and I don't think Michael will like that especially since he wants to _talk_ with Finnick.

"I need to call them Annie." Finnick says.

"Finnick no it's late you can call them tomorrow."

"Annie I'm calling them." He says again.

"Okay." I say and hand him the phone. I won't be able to talk him out of it and I think this is the best thing to do for him but, I don't know how Michael will react.

Finnick dials the phone and pulls me close to him. The phone rings a few times. I am about to say he should hang up when I hear a voice.

"Are you alright?" He asks. I can tell he is talking to Marci from the voice on the other end. She is asking questions and giving her the same answers I got.

"It's okay Finnick." I hear her say.

"Okay." He says. He wants to talk to Jason but Marci talked him out of it. He hangs up the phone and places it on the nightstand.

"See everyone is fine Finnick." I say.

"I still don't know Annie." He says and pulls me closer.

I rub his back and kiss his cheek.

"It's okay Finnick." I say.

"I love you so much." He whispers

"I know, I love you too." I say and kiss him. "And nothing is going to happen." I whisper in his ear.

He nods. He falls asleep with an iron grip still around me. His muscles are stuck in that position so I can't really escape his grasp. I don't care being so close to him, I just wish he wasn't holding on so tightly.

I've never seen Finnick so terrified about something before. He was acting like me when I wake up from a bad dream and think it is real. I didn't hear him screaming and I'm a light sleeper but, you don't need to scream yourself to have a nightmare. Still this is making a small part of me believe that he didn't have a nightmare what he was saying was real.

I doubt Snow would do something that wasn't Finnick's fault but what he said to Finnick was true. All he needs is one person and Finnick will still do this deal and Snow can't kill me.

I swallow hard and look up at him. He doesn't look peaceful like a person should when they're asleep. He looks afraid.

I lean into him more and rub his back.

I close my eyes

"He was just dreaming." I whisper but, a part of me doesn't believe that a part of me does think that Snow was threatening him. I just don't think Snow would kill anyone because he's not gaining anything he already has Finnick as long as I'm alive. I wouldn't put it past Snow though, he always wants to show people that he is in control.

* * *

Finnick wakes me up from letting go of me because he was holding on so tightly.

"Sorry Annie." He whispers.

"It's okay." I say and kiss him.

He smiles.

"It's so nice to see you." He says and kisses my cheek.

"It's nice to see you too." I say.

He looks around.

"Okay, where is it." He smiles.

"You're like a kid on christmas." I say.

"Annie come on."

"Let's just eat breakfast first." I say.

"Fine." He says disappointed.

"Finnick I promise it will be worth the wait." I say.

"Okay." He mutters and we eat breakfast and then get completely ready for the day.

"Okay, you had your breakfast, got dressed and primped can you please show me your grand Annie gesture now."

"You really are excited for this aren't you."

"Pssh yeah."

"Okay, your expectations seem very high but, keep in mind I only had a day and a half to complete this."

"It's okay Annie. So where is it?"

"We have to go outside." I say.

"Oooo fancy." He says.

"Just come on." I say and take his hand and lead him towards my Annie gesture.

"Aren't you going to cover my eyes or something?" Finnick teases while I'm dragging him.

"Hey, this is my gesture so I get to do whatever I want."

"Fair enough." Finnick says.

"Okay, here we are." I say and motion towards it.

"Oh my god. Is this how you feel when I do my Finnick gestures."

"Depends what are you feeling?" I ask.

"Shock, awe, and great satisfaction."

"Well, then yes."

"How did you make this in a day and a half though."

"It wasn't that hard, Jason did help... a lot."

"Well, I figured that one out by myself. No way you could've constructed a whole mini golf course by yourself."

"Hey, I could've there just probably wouldn't be a pin wheel, or you know all the fish cut outs above the holes because they are made from wood but, I did personally paint all of them and also I got these too." I say and hand him the a putter and a golf ball. "Purple for me and green for you because-

"Favorite colors I got it Annie." He smiles.

"Soooo." I say.

"Sooo what?" He smiles.

"Did I do okay?"

"Annie Cresta of course you did okay better than okay magnificent, wonderful, marvelous. Now, let's play so I can beat you."

I roll my eyes.

"No chance Odair."

"Yes chance Cresta." He smiles.

* * *

Finnick and I stayed outside playing mini golf until it got dark out and the lights started to turn on. Finnick was right it was almost impossible to beat him. I'm still convinced that he cheated but, I didn't want to call him out because the gesture was all for him and I could tell it made him feel better after that nightmare or whatever happened last night.

Finnick and I are sitting in the living room not really doing anything.

"Oh Finnick I'm supposed to tell you a few things that happened when you were gone." I say.

"Okay." He says nervously.

"Well, Blake called and said he wanted you to call back when you got the chance."

"Okay." Finnick says unamused he probably knows what it is about.

"Okay and um Michael came over demanding to speak with you. He thinks you're coming home late tomorrow." I say.

"What did he want?" Finnick asks worried.

"Said something about money." I say.

"Oh right that." He says. Finnick turns towards me. "He didn't do anything to you Annie did he?" Finnick asks me seriously.

"No, just yelled."

"Okay." Finnick says and kisses me.

"You going to see him tomorrow then?" I ask worried.

"Might as well get it out of the way. I'm simply just cutting him off because Jason and Marci both have enough money in their bank accounts to take care of themselves and they are both responsible enough to use it correctly. Although Jason has been using his for a few years." He says and smiles.

"You're such a good brother." I say.

"Annie, there is no way I can spend all my money."

"I know." I say. I clear my throat. "Do you think Michael is going to... hurt you or anything." I whisper.

"No, besides I can take care of him." He closes his eyes. "After all-

"You don't have to say it Finnick." I say knowing where he is going with that comment. He was going to say 'After all I did kill eight people.'

"Good." He whispers and kisses me. "I love you Annie." He says.

"I love you too." I say and lean into him and don't think of anything for once my mind is blank and I don't have a problem with that.


	94. Chapter 94

**A/N: Hello all! It's been a bit but I'm back! I don't usually 'pimp' out my stories but, I have a new story that is a collection of one shots about Finnick and Annie. It's called Tales from the Sea. The only reason I'm bringing this up is because when I make a new story I become obsessed with it i.e. post more than one chapter a day instead of doing it for all of my stories. It's a problem guys that I'm trying to work on lol. Anyways here is the new chapter!**

**Chapter 94**

I hear a knock on my door and open it confused. Finnick isn't here because he went to talk to Michael about the whole money issue but, that was hours ago and I am getting worried about him. I just hope the person behind the door isn't Michael.

I open the door and see Jason and sigh in relief that it is not Michael but, then I notice he has blood on his shirt.

"Hey-

"Annie you need to come with me." He says.

"Where are we going?" I ask confused.

"The hospital." He says.

"Oh." I say and can feel the blood drain from my face.

**_24 HOURS EARLIER._**

**_7:00 PM_**

"I still can't believe you built me a golf course." Finnick says as we make dinner. It is rather late tonight because of the mini golfing and then sitting on the couch cuddling.

I get out a knife and smash the garlic causing Finnick to jump.

"Geez Annie why so hard?" He asks smiling.

"That's how you peel garlic Finnick." I smile back.

I put it in the pan and let it golden before I put the rest of the ingredients in for the pasta sauce.

Finnick gets the water boiling to start cooking the pasta.

"We are cooking up in herrrrr." Finnick smiles and I roll my eyes

"At least we both know how to." I say.

"True." He says getting close to the stove but I put my hand out so he will stop so I can flambé the sauce.

"Trying to catch the house on fire?" He smiles.

"Yup." I smile.

Finnick and I eat dinner and it taste pretty good for a quick fix even though we don't get finished until 8:00.

**_8:00 PM_**

"Finnick what are you doing?" I ask confused.

"Dishes?" He says confused.

"I know but why by hand? We have a dishwasher."

"How long have we lived together, and you're just now noticing that I wash them before they go in the dishwasher." He smiles.

"Why though?" I ask laughing.

"Because I don't trust machines." He smiles and flicks water on me and I stick out my tongue. I load the already clean dishes into the dishwasher.

**_9:00 PM_**

I head upstairs to get ready for bed. I'm not tired but I want to just get in my pajamas and lie down.

I lie in bed with the lights off and press a pillow to my chest. Ten minutes later Finnick comes in and turns on the light and I sigh by the brightness.

"Annie?" He asks confused. He must not have realized I went up here or at least that I was lying down in the dark.

"Who else would it be." I smile.

"Sorry I didn't think you were sleeping." He says.

"I wasn't. I just wanted to lie down."

He nods.

"Okay." Finnick says.

"What are you doing up here if you're not going to sleep?" I ask him.

"I wanted to see you." He smiles.

"Well here I am."

"Yes there you are." He says and sits next to me.

He eventually gets in his pajamas and lies next to me. He holds me in his arms. My hands are wrapped around his back and his are resting on my lower waist.

I love when Finnick is holding me. I really like it when I fall asleep in his arms because it makes me feel safe.

Finnick starts to run his fingers through my hair and keeps kissing my forehead. It is almost as if he is coaxing me to sleep.

I look up at him and he smiles. I kiss him.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too Annie." He says. I lean back into him and he continues to play with my hair. I can feel myself drift in and out of reality all the while feeling safe in his arms.

**_9:30 AM._**

I wake up and see Finnick sleeping peacefully next to me still. I sit up and kiss his forehead.

"I love you." I whisper and then get out of bed to shower.

I don't shower in our bedroom when Finnick is still sleeping. I'm too afraid I will wake him up. We have four bathrooms in this house so I better make use of them. I just wish Finnick would exchange the same gesture.

I turn on the water and take a deep breath before entering. I almost hate showering now because of almost drowning in the Hunger Games. Finnick says my showers are always ten minutes long. I have never clocked it but I would guess they would be that short.

I head back to our bedroom and see a still sleeping Finnick I go to the walk in closet and drop my towel on the ground and get dressed.

After I am satisfied with my outfit I hang my towel in the bathroom and pass a still sleeping Finnick. I wish I could sleep this late.

I kiss his cheek once more and then head down to make breakfast.

**_11:00 AM._**

I hear the stairs creek and turn to see a still sleepy Finnick walking down the stairs.

"Morning sleepy head." I say. He is still in his pajamas and has an intense case of bed head. He always does, he doesn't move in his sleep either I always wonder how it gets so messy.

He yawns and nods.

I know he has probably been up for at least thirty minutes because I would've gotten a death glare otherwise. It's just best to leave Finnick alone in the morning. You should let him come to you.

He starts banging on something and I say the same thing I do every morning.

"It's not plugged in." I say not even looking at him because every morning he forgets that the coffee maker is not plugged in. Mostly because I unplug it after he uses it, but you would think after a few years of living together he would've picked up on it by now.

He takes the coffee pot out and turns on the faucet and then makes his coffee.

He starts to open the fridge, cabinets, and drawers debating on what he should eat. I love watching Finnick in the morning because it is like watching animals in the zoo it's very entertaining.

He finally settles on something that needs to be prepared. I look over and see at least a dozen things on the counter. I head over to see what he is making.

I sit on the bar stool and inspect the ingredients they are various and seem like they shouldn't go together.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"Mmmh." He groans causing me to smile.

"What are you making?"

"Breakfast." He smiles and I roll my eyes.

"Okay smart ass what dish are you making?"

He smiles.

"It's like an omelet."

"You put cinnamon in an omelet?" I look at him confused.

"Not a lot, it adds a slight burst of flavor."

"Whatever you say chef." I smile and he rolls his eyes.

His coffee is finished before the 'omelet' so he starts drinking it.

Once Finnick is finished he puts it on a plate and slides it to the place next to me. He pours himself more coffee.

I look at the dish and I can't tell if it is an omelet or pastry.

I pick up the fork, curious and take a bite. It is an explosion of flavors but not in a good way. The aftertaste burns my mouth.

I set the fork down and Finnick looks at me.

_Busted _is all I can think.

"Are enjoying that Annie?" He smiles and sits next to me. He must have known I wouldn't like this.

"No, god." I say and take his mug from his hand and drink some of his coffee. I have only had coffee once. I didn't really like it but I didn't put anything in it but, I can tell Finnick added sugar and a lot.

He takes the mug from my hand and takes a sip.

"You're in a sharing mood this morning." He smiles.

"How many sugars did you put in that? And what is that horrid after taste?"

"More sugars than you would like to know and it's probably the chili powder." He smiles and takes another bite.

"The things you put in your stomach." I say shaking my head.

"Well I didn't make this for you." He smiles and takes another bite.

"I guess." I say and watch him eat.

"Annie." He says.

"Yes?" I ask.

"I'm going to be seeing Michael later today."

"Okay?" I say confused because it sounds like he wants to say more.

"I don't know how long this 'conversation' will last so don't worry if I'm gone for a few hours."

"Okay." I whisper.

He encircles his arm around me.

"Don't worry Annie I'll be fine." He smiles.

"Okay." I say shakily.

He kisses my forehead. He finishes his breakfast and then cleans up the mess he made. He prewahes his dishes which I still laugh at and then goes upstairs to shower.

**_1:00 PM_**

"Okay Annie." Finnick says now completely awake and dressed.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm gonna leave now." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Okay." I say.

He smiles and I hug him.

"Be careful." I whisper knowing what that man is capable of. I don't know what he will do to Finnick. I'm going to be worrying about him the whole time he is gone.

"Don't worry I always am." He smiles and kisses me.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He smiles and then kisses the tip of my nose and walks out the door.

**_3:00 PM._**

I have been pacing around the backyard garden for what seems like forever and it's only been two hours but I expected him to be back by now.

**_5:00 PM_**

I am so worried about Finnick that I feel like I'm going to throw up. I have a lump in my throat that isn't going away.

"Nothing is wrong Annie he's… he's fine." I whisper but don't believe myself

**_6:00 PM._**

"Something is obviously wrong." I whisper. "If he isn't home by nine I will go looking for him or at least call Marci or Jason."

**_7:00 PM_**

I hear a knock on my door and open it confused. Finnick isn't here because he went to talk to Michael about the whole money issue but, that was hours ago and I am getting worried about him. I just hope the person behind the door isn't Michael.

I open the door and see Jason and sigh in relief that it is not Michael but, then I notice he has blood on his shirt.

"Hey-

"Annie you need to come with me." He says.

"Where are we going?" I ask confused.

"The hospital." He says.

"Oh." I say and can feel the blood drain from my face.


	95. Chapter 95

**Chapter 95**

"Is he hurt real bad?" I ask Jason.

He shakes his head.

"No, he just has a deep gash on his forehead and a concussion. They think it might be serious so they want him to stay the night. He kept asking for you." He turns to me and smiles.

"Oh." I slightly relieved. "Do you know what happened?" I ask.

"Not really. I saw Finnick walking presumably back here but, he was bleeding and it was obvious that he needed stitches. Then he got sick probably from the concussion. He couldn't really string a sentence together either, too disoriented. Now we are all caught up." He says. "But I think you and I could make our best guess as to what happens to Finnick."

I nod.

"Why doesn't he just kill him?" I whisper.

He looks at me surprised.

"Finnick-

"Not him, Snow."

Jason actually laughs out loud by my comment.

"Jason." I say annoyed.

"You were being serious?" He asks surprised.

"As a heart attack." I say.

"Snow likes tormenting victors, why would he get rid of the person who can do that to him in District Four."

"Well yes but Michael messes up the 'goods'"

"Annie, it's just a few stitches besides people still want him with all those scars on his chest. The twisted morals of those people is astounding."

"Oh." I say already knowing this.

We get to the ER and Jason leads me to where Finnick's little section is. It can't be classifies as a room because the only thing separating people are curtains.

"Annie." Finnick whispers.

"Yes, it's me." I say and sit next to him.

He leans on my shoulder and sighs in relief.

I kiss his forehead and he grabs my hand.

"Finnick." Jason says. Finnick looks at his brother almost as if he forgot he was there.

"Yes?" He asks.

"I'm going to leave you with Annie and get Marci."

He nods.

"Okay." He says and gets something from his pocket and tosses it at Jason. I notice they are keys, maybe to his house.

"Expect Marci to be here tomorrow if you haven't left." Jason says with a smile.

"Did you really have to tell me that?" Finnick smiles.

He shakes his head.

"No, but I thought I would bring it up." He smiles "Bye Finnick, bye Annie." He says and then leaves.

"What happened to you?" I ask.

"My memory is a little hazy." He says.

"Well what's the last thing you remember?" I ask him gently.

"Talking to Michael, throwing things, waking up outside and running into Jason." I nod and run my fingers through his hair.

"Okay." I say.

"He's going to keep coming back Annie." Finnick whispers and I know he doesn't mean Jason.

I don't know what to say because that's probably true.

"Have you considered just keep giving-

"Then he wins Annie."

"Well you can't keep going to the hospital. Pick your battles." I kiss his forehead.

He sighs.

"I wish he would disappear. I want him to go away and never return."

I kiss him.

"Well I don't think that will be happening anytime soon." I say and kiss him.

* * *

Finnick stayed in the hospital over night and then they finally decided he was okay to leave.

Finnick is outside thinking. He wants to be alone. He wants to figure out what to do about Michael.

He doesn't want him to 'win' but he knows if he doesn't it will be worse. I think he just doesn't want to give in because he is too stubborn but he can't keep getting hurt.

The television turns on causing me to jump.

"Finnick!" I shout.

Finnick rushes inside.

"What's-

"The tv turned on."

The Capitol seal is on the screen and then it changes to the District Four seal.

Finnick stands behind the couch.

"What do you think this is?" I ask.

"I don't know." Finnick says.

_This is a required message coming from the Capitol. It has been an offical message singed off by President Snow._ An announcer voice says.

"What is this?" I ask.

Finnick comes and sits next to me.

"No idea." He says confused.

Constantine, our head peacekeepers, flashes on the screen

_"District Four it has come to the attention to the Capitol that you have not made your fishing quota for the last few months. Due to this you will have to suffer the **consequences**. House searches and punishments are already being doled out. Also due to the consequences of these actions wages will be cut until we make up for all the fish we own the Capitol. Remember we are here to serve the Capitol to make sure everything continues to run smoothly."_

The screen fades to the Capitol seal and then it turns off.

"They can't do this can they?" I ask.

"I believe it's already done." Finnick says in a strange tone.

"What are they going to do? What is this 'punishment'?" I ask worried.

"I don't know Annie, but I think it's best that you don't find out."

"What about you?"

"Annie-

"No I want to know."

"I think they're going to hurt people." He says.

"No." I whisper.

"We can't do anything about it." He says sadly.

"That part about how we are here to serve the Capitol."

"I know." Finnick says.

"He made it sound like we are slaves."

"Aren't we though." Finnick says looking at me.

This fact has been staring at me my whole life but, I never wanted to accept it.

I close my eyes.

"Don't worry Annie it's fine." He says and kisses my cheek

"Aren't you worried?" I whisper.

"Yes but, I can't do anything."

I hug him.

"It's going to be fine I'm sure this is more of a scare tactic." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Okay." I say.

Finnick gets up to walk away.

"Finnick?"

"Yes?" He asks and turns back around.

"Isn't Michael a fishermen?"

"Technically but, he hasn't done anything in years because he has _my_ money."

"He'll get in trouble then."

Finnick shrugs.

"Like I said Annie this is probably a scare tact. I'm sure Michael can take care of himself." Finnick says.

"I wasn't worried about him. I was worried about your Marci and Jason they're there right now."

"Nothing is going to happen to them or anyone Annie. It is a scare tactic besides Snow said Marci and Jason won't get hurt as long as I keep clients _satisfied_:." He smiles.

"Okay." I say knowing he is lying. Not about Marci and Jason being safe but, about this being a scare tactic. They wouldn't make this big of a deal just to make people run and hide.

* * *

I don't really know if anything happened after the announcement because I don't go into town. I know Finnick did and he said everything was fine but I don't think he would've told you the truth.

Finnick and I are in the living room when we hear the phone ring.

"I'll get it." I say because Finnick is busy with something. I don't think he even heard me. The call is probably for him because he has called quite a few people after that announcement. If I was stupid I would think it was a coincidence but, I know it's not. I know they are connected.

"Hello?" I say.

"Annie, it's Marci."

"Hi-

"Listen, you know how they said in the announcement that they will be doling out punishments to the fishermen."

"Yes?" I say confused.

"Well-

"Marci, Finnick is here if you want to talk to-

"Well because they thought _he_ is so lazy that he should get the true punishment."

I know the he she is talking about is Michael. She has a strange tone in her voice. I can't decipher it.

"Marci, I think Finn-

"Annie… he's dead." She says calmly.

"What?" I ask slightly confused.

"Michael they killed him." She says with no remorse in her voice. She doesn't sound happy but, she definitely isn't sad.

"Oh." I say and feel something strange. Something I probably shouldn't. I feel relieved


	96. Chapter 96

**Chapter 96**

"You should talk to Finnick." I tell Marci.

"I know." Marci says.

"I'll get him for you."

"Finnick." I say but he doesn't look up he is still too busy doing something. "Finnick." I say again. "Finnick!" I shout this time.

I sigh and pick up a pan and bang it on the counter. He jumps up and looks at me.

"Something wrong?" He asks worried

I roll my eyes.

"Marci's on the phone and wants to talk to you."

"Okay." He says and takes it from me.

"You didn't have to bang a pot to get my attention." He smiles.

"I all but shouted your name… twice." I smile.

"Okay." He says playfully and then puts the phone to his ear. "Hi Marci." He says. "Okay." He says.

She hasn't told him yet because that wouldn't be his reaction.

"Okay." He says. Still not knowing.

Marci is talking and Finnick's facial expression starts to change. It's clear she told him now.

"Oh. You're okay though right?"

Finnick keeps nodding.

"Okay, love you." He says and then hangs up the phone. He heads back to the living room not saying anything.

"Finnick?" I say walking back over to him.

"Yes." He smiles.

I look at him confused.

"What did your sister say to you?" I ask already knowing.

"You know making sure I was okay. Asking about the announcement thing. Telling me Michael died. Also that, that Bryson guy is her boyfriend." He smiles.

I look at him strangely because he says this so casually.

"Finnick I didn't like Michael either-

"Annie I'm fine." He says.

"Okay." I say. It's not normal not to react at all when you hear someone is dead. Yes Michael was a terrible person. But when Marci told me I was at least surprised. Finnick is just taking this nonchalantly.

"If you want to talk about this-

"Annie there's nothing to talk about he's dead and we can just move forward."

"Okay." I say.

* * *

After Michael died almost everything he did that was terrible got fixed. Finnick could sign Pearl out of the hospital because he is the oldest and has the most control. Besides all the workers there knew she didn't need to be there. Finnick can see Pearl for as long as he wants now and she is a frequent visitor.

Finnick can see Marci and Jason anytime he wants. He was getting more power to do that but, there is no worry that Michael will send him away.

Finnick is allowed back in the house he grew up in. He really wasn't allowed to be there unless he was seeing Marci or Jason but he couldn't go inside. I wonder what that would feel like. The last place of your old life and you couldn't see it again.

The thing I find most important is that no one can call Finnick a mistake, yell at him, threaten him, or even hurt him on a daily basis anymore.

While these are good things I still feel a little bad. I mean someone did die. He was murdered. He wasn't very good at doing his job but he shouldn't have been killed for it.

Jason, Marci, and Pearl have at least all reacted. I think relief is washing over all of them. Expect maybe Pearl when I first saw her she looked sad. It was her son and she said he wasn't always terrible. I think even if your child does something bad you will always love them even if you know it is wrong.

Why else would my mother still love me even though I killed two people in the Hunger Games. It is different but still.

Finnick hasn't reacted at all he just goes about his day and when things about Michael are brought up he just nods. I know he can deal with this in his own way but, I don't think it is healthy to not react at all.

There was no funeral because he was murdered and they took his body somewhere.

The worse part about this is I know Michael wasn't the only person who died. The others were probably all better than Michael but none of them shoulv have died. That is an abuse of power.

Even though District Four is better off than others people still have to take tessare. I'm assuming if you don't have much it would be harder to meet your quota.

The people who take it aren't like District Twelve. They have a house that doesn't look like it will fall down. The houses are small but it is better than nothing. They just don't have enough money to pay for everything. They just need some assistance. There is nothing wrong with that but since the price could be death I guess it could be. I wonder how much they really need it because it's probably more than enough compared to Eleven and Twelve.

* * *

"Hey." I say and sit next to Finnick on the couch.

"Hi." He says in a strange tone.

"You okay?" I ask.

He closes his eyes and breathes in and out.

"Finnick do you feel okay?" I ask.

"Why do I feel like this Annie?" He whispers.

"Feel like what?" I ask.

"Sad." He whispers.

"Sad about what?" I ask.

"For that man. That terrible person who was abusive and destroyed everything in his path. Why do I feel sad that he is gone." He says

Finally his reaction. It has been two weeks. I though he would never react. I wonder if he didn't show his reaction sooner because he feels sorry for Michael. Especially since Michael treated Finnick the worst.

"Finnick I don't know why you're sad that he's dead." I say gently.

"No one else is, not even his mother." He says.

"Finnick you know that's not true ." I say.

"Well… yes. But, look at Jason and Marci they are just moving on. I think he treated me the worst." He pauses."No, I _know_ he treated me the worst and I feel upset that he is gone. How messed up is that?" He says.

I hug him and rub his back.

"It's because you're a good person." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

"So are-

"Finnick just worry about you."

"I can't do that Annie." He says angrily.

I then remember what Blake said when he asked what I would do if Finnick just fell down and died.

"When someone dies the way you deal with it shows the true person you are." I say.

"So Jason and Marci are terrible people Annie?" He says angrily.

"Of course not. They just aren't like you." I kiss his cheek. "I think you are more… sensitive than them." I say.

This isn't just because Michael died he always has been. Jason has made that clear and from Finnick's actions I can tell he is as well.

He scoffs.

"It's not a bad thing Finnick." I say assuming what he is thinking.

"I just wish I didn't feel this way."

"Well, I'm sorry but you can't change that."

"I wish I could." He whispers.

I hold him for awhile. He stokes my hair probably trying to distract himself.

"Finnick." I say.

"Yes?" He says and pulls back

"How many other people do you think they killed?" I ask.

Finnick shrugs

"Probably a fair few but, they can't kill everyone because then nothing will get done."

I nod.

"Why are they doing this?" I whisper

"Like I said, it's because they can."

I sigh and lean back into his chest.

"You know, if they want to make sure the jobs are getting done they shouldn't be killing off fishermen." I say.

"Well, no but they can always find more recruits."

I sigh.

"You mean take kids from school." I say.

"Probably."

I sigh.

"Don't worry Annie it will he okay." He says and kisses my forehead.

He hugs me for a long time before I say.

"Will it?"

"I don't know but it will have to be." He says and kisses me.

_It will have to be_. I think.

I've known Finnick too long to know what that answer really means. He dressed it all up to make it sound positive but it's not. He knows I'm talking about everyone in District Four and not just us. Which is why I know his true answer.

He is saying no, it won't be.


	97. Chapter 97

**Chapter 97**

It looks what I imagine the color gray would be like it. It's impossible to describe what a color looks like but looking out at what the square is now I know this is grey.

I went into town today because I wanted to see what it was like. I knew if I went by myself I could see everything I wanted to. I know Finnick would try to keep it hidden but that would be an incredible feat because just walking into town you can see it.

The sadness of the fishermen. Who would usually be happy because they love to fish. Now it doesn't have happiness. It could have something to do with the dozens of peacekeepers watching them.

The look of children in the schoolyard are fearful. Instead of laughing and playful.

Most of the shops windows are closed indicating that it's closed for business but you can see lights on inside. They don't want everyone to else like usual or they just don't want to see the peacekeepers.

There are a decent amount of peacekeepers in the square. We have always had them but, they usually didn't do anything. Mostly because we didn't need it. People liked doing what they did for their day to say life. There was no obvious threat looming in the air like there is today, like there is now.

I sigh.

Grey that's what you are. That's what District Four is grey. Poor helpless grey.

I look up and see a new watchtower. It isn't very high but you could see the whole square from up there. I see Constantine, our head peacekeeper, standing up there looking at all of us like prey.

Constantine is probably in his late forties. He doesn't threatened anyone unless they have broken a big law but, he always has had that type of face. The type of face when you look at it you know if you make him angry it might be the last thing you do.

His body type isn't threatening because he is tall and lean. He looks like a stick. However I'm sure he could take down the strongest of men.

I keep walking but then trip and run into someone.

"I'm sorry."

"Victor Annie." I hear someone say in a removed cold tone. I know it is one of the peacekeepers because only officials and Capitol citizens call me 'victor Annie'

I look up and see I was correct.

"I'm sorry." I say again.

"It's perfectly fine." He says. "Sir Constantine wishes to speak with you."

"What, why?" I ask nervous.

"He has with all the other victors already. He was waiting for you to come to town."

_Great. Looks like I shouldv'e just gone with Finnick or someone._ I think to myself

"I will take you there now."

"Actually-

Before I can say or try to get someone to come with me he grabs my arm and starts to take me to the watchtower.

"Can you loosen your grip, I won't run away." I say. I know I will have bruises from where his fingers are digging into my skin.

He does. I know if it was Finnick he wouldn't maybe even Luna. I wonder why Finnick didn't tell me about this.

The way he is holding me and taking me to someone makes me feel like a prisoner.

He takes me up the stairs to the watch tower and stops in front of a door once we reach the top. He knocks on the door and it opens automatically.

My throat goes dry as I am twenty feet from Constantine. I try not to look at him instead I'm looking out at the whole District. I notice there are other watch towers in the outlaying parts of the Districts. I wonder what it is like there. There are less people I don't know if that is good or bad.

I feel a shaking and jump because Constantine is right in front of my face. I can see the dead look in his eyes, they are so dark I would say they were black. As black as coal. It's like he has no soul.

"You can leave us Demetrios." He says. The peacekeeper takes his arm off of me. He does some salute and then leaves.

I swallow hard.

"Hello Annie Cresta I have been wanting to see you for a few days." He smiles slyly.

"Well here I am." I say. I'm trying not to sound shaky but I do.

"Don't worry Miss. Cresta, this is just a nice chat." He says. It doesn't calm me. If he wanted to comfort me he would say 'I'm not going to hurt you'. Maybe he is going to hurt me.

"Here why don't you sit." He says. It's not a suggestion it's a demand.

I do and he stands in front of me and smiles. I feel a chill run down my spine.

"Tell me Annie what do you make of all this?" He motions around to District Four.

"I… it's home." I say confused.

"Yes I guess you're right." He smiles. "Do these improvements spark your interests?"

"Improvements?" I ask confused.

"Yes the watchtower-

"Oh yes, it's nice to have more… protection." I say. My hands are gripping the bottom of my seat. I don't know if this is some sort of test or not. If it is I have a feeling I'm failing.

"Good. Myself and President Snow feel the same way." He smiles and so do I weakly. "Annie." He say firmly and my throat tightens. It's so tight I surprised I can still talk.

"Yes?"

"You seem acquainted with Finnick, is this true?"

"Acquainted." I laugh and realize I probably shouldn't have. Doesn't he know I live with him. Doesn't he know I love him. If he is so buddy buddy with Snow he should know then I'm more than 'acquainted' with Finnick.

He smiles but doesn't say anything.

"Now Annie you have been mentoring for three years I'm sure you've made some friends in that amount of time."

"I… I not really." I whisper telling the truth. The people I see there every year I would say I'm acquainted with.

"Well according to our records you talked for an hour on the phone with the victor of the 59th Hunger Games."

I don't know who that is but the only other victor I have talked to on the phone is Blake. Well and Johanna but that wasn't for an hour.

"How do you know who I was talking to?"

"Government officials can look at anything. What were you talking about with Blake Shelard for an hour

I don't know what to say because he wanted to talk to Finnick. I ended up talking with him longer because I wanted to know more about him. I don't know if I should say he wanted to talk with Finnick because I don't want to get him or Finnick in trouble.

I don't want to say he called me to comfort me when Finnick was in the Capitol because I don't know if everyone is supposed to know about that. I don't want to lie to Constantine because he frightens me. I don't think he can hurt me. I don't _think_ he can but Snow isn't here to stop him.

"I… I he was calling me while Finnick was out of town and he wanted to make sure I was okay." I say.

"I see." He says not satisfied.

"Constantine sir?" I ask.

"Yes." He smiles just like Snow does.

"What are all these questions for?" I ask because this doesn't seem like two people talking anymore. It seems like an interrogation.

"I'm just checking up on some things. Your answers differ from the others which makes me believe you aren't like them."

"Gee thanks." I mutter.

"Not in the ways you are thinking Annie." He smiles. "I would like to point out though that some crimes no matter who you are can result in death."

"I'm not breaking the law."

"I know _you_ aren't." He smiles. Which means he is implying someone else is, maybe the other victors. "If the evidence is coming from your house your fate will be the same." He says

I swallow hard.

"Evidence?" I ask confused.

He smiles.

"I'll let you go home now, maybe you can get answers there." He smiles and opens the door. It takes me a minute for me to stand up and leave the room.

I all but run home and when I open the door I see Finnick in the kitchen. I don't bother with a hello I just start asking.

"What are you doing Finnick?" I ask him.

"I was making-

"I had to speak with Constantine today." I say. I can see the color drain from his face.

"Why you were in town?" He asks. I can tell he is angry but he shouldn't be.

"Don't turn this around on me Finnick. He implied you were doing something illegal. Something that could get you or both of us killed."

"Annie-

"How does he know who we're calling anyways?"

"Well Annie-

"Why was he so interested that I talked to Blake when you were gone."

"Annie-

"Is that all you can say is my name." I almost shout.

"Yes."

I sigh.

"Listen Annie I'm sorry you had to speak with Constantine alone. I just assumed you would never go to town again or at least not with me."

"I don't need to take you everywhere I go Finnick." I say angrily.

"Listen Annie he talked with all of us I'm sure it's-

"Just another scare tactic?" I say angrily. "I was in town today Finnick and Michael was murdered they aren't scaring anyone they're killing people."

"Okay Annie I'm sorry-

"You can't stay here anymore."

Finnick's expression is filled with lots of emotions.

"Why not?" He asks sadly.

"You can't do anything illegal here Finnick because then they can kill anyone else who has ever been here."

He sighs.

"You're letting him win." He says.

"Who-

"It doesn't matter _who_ Annie you're so afraid of getting killed that you would rather have me leave and never return. It's-

"It's a setup isn't it." I whisper.

"Yes." He says.

"So you're not doing anything illegal?" I ask.

Its silent for a long time before I hear Finnick say "No, I'm not doing anything illegal."

The pause wasn't very convincing but, I do think Constantine and maybe Snow wanted Finnick and myself not to be around each other as much. I just wonder why, why would that matter.

**A/N: Hello all! Thank you for reading! I just wanted to say that I have a sort of spin off from this story called _Losing Her_ it was a request. It'sin Finnick's POV and takes places when Annie came home form solitary confinement and didn't want to see Finnick. You get to see his side and what he was doing. I know I said like last chapter I don't pimp out my stories but, since this one is related I felt that it was justified. Thanks again for reading!**

**-Susan**


	98. Chapter 98

**Chapter 98**

I'm sitting across the kitchen table watching Finnick eat his cereal.

I'm still angry at him. I don't know why, I knew he wasn't telling me things but it never crossed my mind that it was something illegal.

I remember what he said though _you're so afraid of getting killed that you would rather have me leave and never return._

I love Finnick and probably couldn't live without him but, I don't want him to do anything illegal, not in my house anyways. I'm not afraid because they will go after me, I'm afraid they will go after my mom and Lana.

I don't want him to go anywhere. I want him to stay right here with me but, I can tell something isn't right anymore. After that conversation everything was just awkward. Neither of us probably wanted to say anything because of the comment Finnick said _you're letting him win_ I'm still curious to the 'he' Finnick had in mind but, it doesn't matter. I just don't understand why someone would want me to see less of Finnick. Maybe they want me to go totally off the deep end.

"What's wrong?" Finnick asks.

His voice is still hoarse from sleep. I don't think he slept much anyways and it wasn't nightmares keeping him up it was something else. Probably because I said he couldn't live here anymore. I know that is probably bothering him. I don't want him to leave, I just said it because I was frustrated.

"Not much." I say.

"Annie." He says frustrated.

Having this conversation with Finnick in morning is probably the worst idea, he has almost no patience and gets annoyed easily. He complains that his toast takes too long to toast.

"What?"

He sighs.

"Finnick lets just talk about this later."

"No." He says firmly.

"Fine you go then." I say.

He smiles.

"What you said the other day wasn't okay."

"Finnick I'm sorry but I was angry or scared maybe both."

"So you thought to fix that was to get rid of me." I can see the fire in his eyes. Today's gonna be a long day.

"I don't want to fight with you Finnick." I whisper.

"I'm not fighting with you." He says.

I sigh.

"Annie-

"Finnick like I said I was scared. Okay, I felt like I was getting threatened by Constantine and he kept implying all these things-

"You didn't think to ask me? You just thought you would throw me away like trash."

"I wasn't saying I would never see you again, I just said you shouldn't stay here anymore. Which-

"What's the difference Annie?"

"There is a difference Finnick but it doesn't matter-

"Doesn't matter!"

"Finnick you're not listening to me stop interrupting and-

"No." He says and stands up,

I grab his wrist.

"Don't start pacing around the room Finnick." I say knowing this is where it is headed.

"Fine." He says and turns so he is facing me. "Now let's talk about how it doesn't matter." He says smugly.

"I was saying it doesn't matter because I wouldn't kick you out. Besides this is your house too." I smile but he doesn't.

I sigh.

"What now?" I say.

"Well what if I did leave."

"Please don't be so over dramatic Finnick."

"I wasn't." He says.

I don't know how to respond. I close my eyes.

"If you want to leave then leave." I say with my eyes still closed. "But just know Finnick that this isn't just about you." I open my eyes. He still looks angry but perplexed as well.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"The reason I said that is because Constantine-

"You should've asked me, not just tell me to leave."

"Well I did ask and it took you ten minutes to say 'no'." I say.

He looks at me as if he is staring into my soul.

"What?" I ask.

"Annie you know I can't tell you everything."

"I know but you shouldn't go breaking the law Finnick you're too important-

"Are you really doing something wrong if it is for the right reasons?" Finnick says.

"What?"

"Are you really doing something wrong if it's for the right reasons!" He shouts this time.

"I-I don't know Finnick I just don't want you doing anything here because I don't want anyone to get killed."

He scoffs.

"What?"

"Because wherever I go people die. I'm the angel of death."

"You're being over dramatic again." I say annoyed.

"You were thinking it."

"Finnick stop saying you know what I am thinking, you know I hate that."

"Well you were." He mumbles.

"Finn-

"Okay maybe you weren't but, your facial expression said it all."

"Well maybe you feel like you're the angel of death but I don't."

"Annie I am. The people in the arena, my parents, Michael, and others. They all died because they knew me. Maybe I should just leave to make sure you're not next."

"Finnick stop saying you're going to leave."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like it!" I shout.

"Well you are the one who brought it up!"

"But I didn't mean it!" I shout back.

"You still said it." He mumbles.

"And you called me crazy once and didn't mean it. People say things they don't mean all the time."

"This is true but maybe you were right."

"You aren't leaving Finnick."

He doesn't say anything.

"I won't let you. I don't care if I have to chain you to the door." I hug him. "You aren't going anywhere." I whisper into his chest. His muscles are all stiff and he isn't going to be letting up anytime soon but if he wants to leave he will have to physically remove himself from me. If he did leave I couldn't stay here anymore there's too much of Finnick here. It would be too painful to look at everyday.

"You're not going anywhere." I say again. He is still just standing there hands at his sides and his face is probably in a scowl but I don't care because I'm not letting Finnick go.


	99. Chapter 99

**Chapter 99**

I'm walking home from my Mom's house because after that discussion with Constantine I don't really want her in the house anymore. I know Finnick is doing something and I know it has to do with that secret.

He isn't mad at me anymore, I think he just got scared that I was going to shut him out or run away. I would never do that though, because I love him too much.

I'm in the main square when I hear a siren go off outside, the same siren they use to signal a lockdown because of the weather but no voice follows.

Peacekeepers start to roam the streets.

It's probably singling something for them, but then I hear a scream and a gunshot that follows, then it seems like that chaos is erupting everywhere.

I don't want to turn around to see it. I don't want to see the people who have been shot or killed. The screams are just haunting. I just want to get out of here.

I start walking quickly but my arm gets pulled hard. I feel like my shoulder almost dislocated.

I turn to see who it is and it is a peacekeeper.

"No! No! Let go of me!" I shout and fight them. "No!" I scream but, they keep dragging me. I soon realize I am being taken to the watch tower that Constantine is in.

He opens the door and then pushes me on the ground.

"Delivery." I hear my captor say and can tell they are smiling.

I lift my head and see Constantine and Demetrius are both here.

"Good job for giving me the crown jewel." Constantine says and then peacekeeper leaves.

I back away towards the wall and almost get up but I hear a clicking noise.

"Don't leave Annie Cresta." Constantine says pointing a gun at me.

"What do you want?" I sob.

"You."

"What?" I ask confused.

"I wanted see you again." He smiles.

"To talk?" I say knowing this is not the right answer.

"No Annie, your talking time is almost up." He says and walks towards me I try and leave but he grabs me by the hair and drags me to where he wants me to be.

"I'm so sick of your weakness Annie Cresta." He smiles evilly. He turns to Demetrius. "Get rid of her." He says and I whimper because I don't think he means to take me out of the room.

"Sir we can't kill her, Snow-

"He's not here, besides Finnick has a brother and sister." Constantine gets close to me and runs a knife over my cheek and I whimper. "Annie Cresta I have wanted to get rid of you since you won. You are a pathetic excuse for a victor and quite possibly a human as a whole." He cuts my cheek. "Snow has said it himself and we both agree that the only reason you are still alive is because of Finnick. You don't act the way a victor should and hiding you is so much work. I can't get rid of Finnick because he is too valuable and the way a victor should be." He grabs my hair and brings me to my knees in front of Demetrius. "I give the orders here Demetrius not Snow. Kill her." He says and steps away.

Demetrius points a gun to me and I whimper.

"Please don't kill me." I say even though I know it is useless, just like when you are in the arena, they are going to do it anyways.

Constantine turns away and then I am confused by what happens next. I see blood coming from Constantine running from his face he definitely has a broken nose. I am forcefully dragged up and being taken down the watch tower.

"Let go of me!" I shout.

"Keep quiet." He says and keeps dragging me down the stairs. "Where is he?" He asks.

"Who?" I ask.

"Finnick."

"I'm not taking you to-

"Finnick is Snow's trump card if you mess with him you're dead. Snow likes to be the one to play with Finnick."

"So?" I ask.

"If you're with him you won't get hurt."

He opens the door and we are now back outside he starts dragging me more forcefully.

"That hurts."

"It's meant to. Constantine has an order to kill you right now because of all the other chaos, he thinks he can get away with it."

"Why-

"Where is he?" He interrupts me.

"I don't know. He just told me he was going to leave the house."

"I thought he would give you more updates." He mutters.

"I'm not handicapped." I say angrily.

He opens an unoccupied building and shoves me down in it.

"We can stay here until it dies down." He says.

It's silent for awhile

"Aren't you going to die?" I whisper.

"We all die one day. Besides, if I killed you Snow would kill all the top peacekeepers here, including me. So don't feel all flattered." He says.

"Okay." I mutter.

I can hear the screaming, gunshot, and blood splatter. Just like the arena.

I put my hands over my ears and cry.

"Why is this happening." I say to myself.

"You really don't know." He says surprised.

"Know what?" I almost shout.

"That District Four is starting to collapse." He says.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You don't do things on time you don't follow the rules-

"But who makes the rules." I say angrily.

"I'm not from here Annie my loyalty is still to the Capitol and Snow." He says coldly. "Your District is falling into disarray for not following the rules so you need to be punished."

"And you think killing is the way to do this." I almost shout.

"It gets rid of the problem and there are enough people here to not raise suspicion."

"What do you mean suspicion, we don't know anything about the other Districts."

He smiles.

"For a victor you aren't very smart."

I scoff.

"Most of them have it figured it out." He says.

"Well I don't care." I say and hear a lot of gun shots and screams. "I wanna go home." I whisper.

"You can't, not yet." He says.

I start crying again.

"Stop that." He says.

"Are you holding me hostage." I say.

"If you want to leave, leave but they will take you back to Constantine and they will kill you."

It's silent again. The only thing that is heard through the room is screams, gunfire, and pleas for help.

"What did you mean most of the other victors have it figured out?" I ask.

"They understand the system."

"What system?" I ask.

"Fear." He says.

"What?" I ask.

"All those people out there are running and screaming as innocent people are being killed,why do you think that is?"

"I don't know." I mumble.

"Clearly people in District Four can defend themselves and yet they don't, why is this?"

"Afraid of being murdered."

"Correct they are _afraid_."

"That's human nature though."

"Fear is what keeps the system in balance because if there is no fear people start doing _things_."

"What kind of things?" I ask.

"Things that can break the system. We will always win though Annie because you… _citizens_ will always be afraid and fear is the deadliest weapon of all."

I don't like this man even though I should be grateful for saving my life I want nothing more than to hit him.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I think you can go now. I can't get you all the way to Victors Village but I can get you close." He says avoiding the question. He pulls me up.

We keep walking and I feel a tug on my shoulder and am taken from Demetrius grasp. I figure it is another peacekeeper going to kill him for disobeying Constantine.

"Get off her." I hear Finnick say in his threatening voice.

"Finnick wait." I say and he turn towards me.

"What?" He asks confused.

"He was helping me."

"Is this true." He says and looks to Demetrius.

"Why would I lie? Now that you are with her I can leave. Finnick." He says

"What?" He snarls.

"Keep a better eye on her, don't let her back into town, and when you go to the Capitol tell Snow Constantine went after her." He says and walks away.

I can tell Finnick wants to go after him, probably to punch him. Honestly I want him to but, I want his comfort more.

"Finnick." I whimper.

"Let's go home." He says and takes my hand and leads me to the house. He sits me down on the couch and gets a cloth to clean the cut on my face that I forgot was there.

He puts it on and I wince.

"What happened?" He asks.

"I was coming home from my Mom's house and then a siren went off and all hell broke loose and then I was being taken to see Constantine and he wanted me dead because he thought I was disgracing the name of a victor."

"Okay and why did that peacekeeper-

"He said Snow would kill all the higher ups if he did that and he is a higher up." I say.

Finnick nods.

I wrap my arms around him.

"You're okay Annie." He says and strokes my hair.

"They are gonna kill more people they were just killing people for being outside. Do you think that is what the siren is for, to signal when to kill people."

"I hope not." Finnick says.

I look up at him and he kisses me.

"We are going to be okay." He says.

"No one should live like this Finnick." I say.

"I know." He says and kisses my cheek.

"How are we supposed to live like this Finnick?" I whisper.

I look up at him and he kisses me.

"I don't know." He says and hugs me.

I'm glad he isn't lying but I don't like the truth.


	100. Chapter 100

**A/N: AHHHHHHH! 100 Chapters! Thank you so much to all of you dedicated readers! Also thank you to anyone who has followed, favorited, or reviewed I really appreciate that and getting one of those notifications on my e-mail always makes my day a little brighter! Thanks for reading and here is to the next 100! (which might actually be plausible) **

**Chapter 100**

"Happy Hunger Games!" Aries shouts.

Sirens still go off sometimes multiple times a day. I just hope it isn't to kill people but deep down I know that is what is happening.

I look out at the crowd of children and they look scared, more so than usual. I also notice that more peacekeepers are here than usual. Who knew just not filling a quota could make everything so crazy. I wonder if there are other elements I don't know about.

I don't know what the rest of the citizens look like because our District is so big that only citizens eligible to be reaped are allowed in the square.

Aries introduces us and then shows the explanation video of why this happens every year.

"Wasn't that marvelous!" He shouts in his teal sequin top and black sequin pants.

I sigh. No one ever answers back but I know he wants someone to.

I don't really pay attention to the name drawing I never do because I know I will meet them shortly. I do know that the female tribute volunteered.

"Let's go Annie." Finnick says.

Once we are out of sight from the cameras Finnick laces his fingers with mine and takes us to the main car where we sit on the plush pink sofa.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes." He says.

"I'm afraid to leave."

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"Don't worry Annie it won't be bad we will be home-

"No, not that. It's because I'm afraid of the things that will he happening here."

"Don't stress over it Annie." He says.

I nod. I close my eyes and lean against his shoulder.

I hear the train door open and let go of his hand and move away from him.

"Love ya." Finnick smiles.

I can't say it back because I hear Aries.

"Here we are lovelies!" He exclaims. "These will be your wonderful mentors." He says and then skips from the room.

The female tribute looks excited for this but the male doesn't. You can clearly see he was crying and I think he is only fifteen, the odds are exactly in his favor.

"Okay Rachel and Seth the recaps will be in an hour do you have any questions until then?" Luna asks.

"No." Rachel snarls and sits down.

Seth just looks at her awkwardly and looks off in the distance.

"Okay." Luna says and sits down.

Aries comes back out after awhile, I assume the recaps are going to start soon.

In ten minutes the recaps do start. Rachel leaves after One and Two I'm assuming she just wanted to see her 'friends.'

"Can I leave too?" Seth whispers around District Six.

"You should stay Seth this will be worth while-

"Yes you can leave." Mags says cutting off Aries.

He does and then we are alone I put my legs on top of Finnick's lap and lay back on the couch.

"You tired Annie?" He asks.

"Little bit." I say.

"You can go to sleep." He says.

"No I'm okay." I say because after the recaps we all talk about the tribute and who we think will be the greatest threat. I actually do talk about this other than my other mentor duties. I have to do something.

We get to District Eleven and I keep going in and out of sleep.

Finnick rubs my leg and I sit up.

"I think you should go to sleep Annie." He says again.

"There's only one more Finnick." I say.

Aries scoffs.

"Nothing exciting ever happens here Annie." He says.

I sigh

I take my legs off of him and sit up to lean on his shoulder.

"I will after this." I say.

"Promise." Finnick says and kisses the top of my head.

"Cross my heart." I say.

"Okay." He says and kisses me.

"Primrose Everdeen!" You hear from District's 12s escorts bleached lips.

"Not a twelve year old." I whisper. I say this every time this happens because they never win and I don't think they ever will. Finnick won at fourteen but lots of people argue that it helped that he was good looking. Even Finnick thinks this played an element into him winning. It did help him get sponsor money.

"Come up here darling." Their escort says.

The girl starts walking woodenly to the stage but you can hear a yelping noise from the crowd and you see who it belongs to because they walk right on out.

It's a girl from the sixteen section.

"Prim! Prim!" The girl shouts.

"What the hell." Luna says.

The peacekeepers restrain the skinny girl with the brown hair. She probably can't get past them but she is fighting them off and keeps shouting 'Prim' the twelve year old is almost at the stage when you hear the girl yell.

"I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!"

"This has never happened before." Mags says.

They get to the stage and their escort looks confused as what to do because they've never had a volunteer in District Twelve.

In our District, all the volunteers and the selected tribute perform in a dual. Usually when the selected tribute doesn't want to go they don't try, especially when there are multiple volunteers. I always wonder how it is in One and Two because they must have dozens of volunteers, maybe they have a different system.

They eventually just let the girl who volunteered step on stage the twelve year old doesn't like this. She keeps shouting 'No' until someone takes her from the stage. It isn't a peacekeeper, I'm assuming it is someone she knows.

"Our first ever volunteer." The escort says excited. She drags the girl to the microphone. "Tell me darling what's your name?"

"Katniss Everdeen." She says with no emotion.

"Sister is the safe bet." Luna says.

"Well I would bet my pearls that, that was your sister?"

"Yes it was." She says still with no emotion, she is looking at the sky.

"Trying to steal all the glory." She smiles.

Katniss doesn't answer because Haymitch starts to make a drunken scene and vomits and falls of the stage.

"Oh Haymitch." Mags says with disapproval.

"Now onto the boys." Their escort shouts.

She calls a boy also from the sixteen section. He has blond hair and looks better fed than Katniss does. I'm assuming he has a better home life.

The t.v turns off and they all start talking but I don't this time.

They are all talking about this Katniss girl. I just hear muffling around me though.

If I had a sister would I have volunteered for her?

No I wouldn't have. I'm not strong enough to do something like that. This Katniss girl must be strong. The statical chance of her winning is low and I'm sure she knows it. She probably knows she is going to die but she wanted to keep her sister safe.

It has probably been five minutes before Finnick shakes my shoulder gently. He is talking but, it still sounds muffled. He starts shaking a little harder and then I can hear him clearly.

"Annie, Annie." He says worried.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You were making a strange groaning noise, are you okay?" He asks.

"I think so." I say confused.

"You should keep your promise and go to sleep." He says and kisses my forehead.

"I- she's going to be all they are talking about." I say.

"Annie." Finnick says not wanting me to talk and just go to sleep.

"They are probably loving this, it will take attention from the people who want it. Higher on the kill list." I say.

"Annie don't worry about her worry about _our _tributes." Aries says.

I nod not caring.

"Go to sleep Annie." Finnick says gently and runs his fingers through my hair.

I put my hands on my temples from an intense dizziness that just appeared.

"Annie?" Finnick says. "Are you okay?" He asks worried.

"I'm fine." I say but don't really mean it because I'm so dizzy I feel like going to get sick. "I'm just gonna go to sleep." I say and he nods. I stand up and stumble over. I fall down on my back and hit something hard. Then I just see black.


	101. Chapter 101

**A/N: A bit of a longer chapter hope that's okay.**

**Chapter 101**

I wake up feeling hungover. The lights hurt my eyes and are blinding me. I look down and see that my hands and my left forearm have been bandaged. I look down and notice I am in my same clothes so I must not have been captured. My clothes are sticking to me like a second skin. I must have been sweating a great deal.

I take in my surroundings and don't see myself in a bedroom or the main train car.

I'm in a room that looks like a nurses office. I move my hand to my forehead and notice I have an IV inserted in it.

"Finnick!" I yell. "Finnick!" I yell again.

I hear a door open and see Finnick.

"Good you're awake." Finnick says relieved and sits next to me.

"Where am I?" I ask worried.

"Still on the train." He says.

"Oh." I say.

"Do you feel okay?" He asks.

"I feel hungover." I say.

"That's bad right?" Finnick asks. I forgot he has never had a drink.

"Yes. Head pounding, mouth dry, and the feeling of bees in my head." I say.

"Oh." He says and smiles. "I can make that better." He says.

"Finnick?" I ask confused by his strange tone.

He leans in and kisses me but not like he usually does it's rough. I break the kiss.

"Finnick what are you doing?" I ask.

"Kissing you." He says and does again. I don't like this.

"Finnick stop." I say.

He doesn't and starts to become more aggressive.

"What's wrong with you? Stop!" I shout as his hands continue elsewhere.

"Annie come on it will be fun."

"No, not here. Not right now I feel sick too."

He holds me down and kisses me again.

"Finnick. Stop." I say again but he doesn't and his hands find my zipper.

"No Stop! Finnick Stop!" I say. I try to sit but he has me pressed securely down.

Next thing I know he is undoing his own zipper.

"Stop." I whimper.

I gasp loudly and sit up. I put my hand on my chest. I can feel the cold sweat on my body and my clothes are sticking to me. I notice that there are light bright light in reality and I'm on a hospital bed that is titled in a 90 degrees position.

"That must have been a crazy dream." I hear someone say.

I see a women standing behind a lot of computer screens. She looks to be around twenty five. She is petite but strong. She has shoulder length choppy black hair and tan skin. She looks normal.

"Sorry you victors call them nightmares." She smiles. "I'm Nina. Your caretaker, healer, apothecary doctor, whatever you call it in your district."

"Doctor." I say.

"Great that's what we call it here too." She smiles. "You fell down on the train and hit your head. Well, they told me you broke the glass coffee table that's how you got all those cuts.

I look down and notice them for the first time. I have bandages all over my arms.

"It's like that on your legs too. Must have been one coffee table." She smiles.

If I'm not on the train there is only one other place I must be.

"I'm in the Capitol." I say.

"Yes." She confirms.

I feel a wire on my head and then another and another. I tug one off but she comes over and reattaches it.

"The tests aren't finished yet and because you're a victor I have to make sure you don't die." She smiles. I like her she is doesn't seem mean.

"What do you mean tests?" I ask confused.

"I'm a neurologist." She looks at me seeing if I know what this means. "I study the nervous system i.e the brain."

"Okay." I say confused.

"You fell down on the train because you started having a fit. You were shaking uncontrollably and everything. That's why you have so many cuts. I don't know if it would've been better if it wasn't glass." She says.

"Okay." I say confused and lots of other things.

"I'm trying to figure out why, if that is possible. It's hard to study the brain because a everyone's work differently." She says and I nod. "Now I asked the other mentors this and I'm sure they were telling the truth. Especially Finnick he was very… how should I put this... spirited with his answers." She says and I smile. I'm sure he was. I'm surprised he isn't here.

"Where is he?" I ask.

"With the tributes getting ready for the opening ceremonies."

"That means I was out for almost a whole day." I say because it takes at least a day to get here.

"Well the sedatives they gave you to stop from screaming probably played a part in that."

"I don't remember." I whisper.

"That's not uncommon."

"I want to see Finnick." I say.

She smiles.

"You will soon. After the opening ceremonies and the tributes are put to bed he said he would break down the door if necessary to see you." She pauses. "Not exactly nicely either." She smiles. I'm sure it wasn't if Finnick knew I was in trouble he would do pretty much anything to see me even if it meant death.

"Oh." I say.

"Yes I just need to ask you some questions and then I want to ask you about that dream you had about Finnick."

"You could see that?" I whisper.

"I've been monitoring your brain waves. With all these fancy Capitol toys I can see your dreams usually as clear as you see me. You have some crazy dreams." She pauses. "Most of them seem terrifying." She whispers. "But I really just need you to answer a few questions first."

"Okay."

"Now since you're a victor even if you were doing anything illegal you won't get into trouble."

"Okay." I say.

"These first few ones are easy." She says.

"Okay." I say nervously.

"Is there any chance you might be pregnant?"

"What why?" I ask.

"If you're pregnant sometimes if can cause disorders that effect the mother now is there any chance that this might be true."

"I-I no." I whisper.

"That doesn't sound too sure. I can just order a pregnancy test."

"No, I'm good." I say embarrassed.

"Have you ever had sexual intercourse?" She asks.

"I-I maybe." I say feeling embarrassed. I don't know why everyone does this I'm sure she is has before.

"We will just order one in case." She smiles and presses some buttons.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Have you had a change in sexual partners recently?" She asks.

"No there's only the one." I whisper.

She nods.

"And when is the last time you've had sexual intercourse?"

"Why do you need to know that?" I ask angry.

"In case something got passed along we could contact your partner and see if they have or had the same symptoms you have."

"Well I didn't cheat."

"Well do you think there is a possibility they could've."

_How do I say this correctly._ I think to myself.

"It's soft of an open type of relationship." I say I just can't say he is a sex slave. I would probably sound crazy on top of everything else.

"Well we should contact them so they will stop in case this is being passed along. Write down the name and phone number and I can call them." She says.

"I can't." I say.

"Why not?" She asks confused.

"Because-

"In your dream Finnick Odair was coming onto you forcefully has that happened before. It didn't have to be him."

"No I was never sexually abused. I just can't tell you because it's complicated."

She sighs.

"Listen Annie I'm pretty sure this just happened from stress and you are fine but because you are a victor they want to make sure. I won't get in trouble because patients lie all the time but I want to make sure so no one else gets hurt."

"I just…. I don't think I'm allowed to tell you because if people find out… bad things might happen." I say. This probably doesn't help the sexual abuse theory she has in her head but people aren't supposed to know I'm with Finnick at all because they will get angry that I get to be with him so often.

"It's him isn't it?" She asks.

"Who?"

"Finnick."

"I-

"That's why he was so defensive of you and was begging to see you, that's why you asked for him as soon as you woke up.

"I- don't know what you're talking about."

" Love is such a tricky thing. But Finnick can't see any of his… any of those-

She doesn't know how to put it.

"How do you know?"

"I know things." She smiles. "But Finnick should get looked at he can't get a reputation for that."

"I don't think-

"Snow is probably going to order it soon anyways they do checks quite frequently. Besides he has to punish the people who pass them along."

"You mean kill?" I ask.

"I have no idea what he does to them." She says but, something in my gut tells me she is lying.

"Okay." I say.

"Now there are a few more questions and then I'm going to put you under a sleep simulation so I can focus more on your brain waves."

"If you think this is just stress induced-

"I have to make sure because you're a victor."

"Right that." I mumble.

"Have you taken any drugs within the last seventy two hours?"

"No."

"Not any, including alcohol?"

I shake my head.

"I'm not a big drinker and I wouldn't know where to get illegal drugs."

She smiles and writes something down.

Then something occurs to me.

"Can you tell if I'm lying?" I ask.

"No, technology is not that advanced."

"You probably think I'm lying now." I mutter.

"You're answer was too genuine, I think you were just curious. I'm sure you don't have all these things back home."

"I don't spend that much time in the hospital."

She nods.

"Has anything like this ever happened before?" She asks.

"No." I say.

She writes something down but then stops.

"You're from District Four."

"Yes why?"

She purses her lips.

"Just a question. I'll start your simulation."

"What? What's wrong with District Four?" I ask confused.

"Just nothing." She says, I sigh there is obviously something.

She turns to get me something. "Drink this." She says and gives me a bright pink syrup. "Take this and when you wake up you will be able to leave." She smiles.

"Oh... Okay?" I say confused.

I take the drink and it tastes artificial and has a lasting bad after taste I soon become drowsy and then go out fully.

* * *

I don't know how long it has been before I open my eyes. I do and am still disoriented. The lights have all been gone and I think she has left but then I hear voices.

"I don't think this was just caused by stress. There's something else at play." Nina says.

"From her dreams?" I hear Finnick ask.

"No. There are whispers that District Four has been come corrupt ." She says.

Great, just like Demetrius maybe I shouldn't have trusted her kind nature.

"I know and it is." Finnick says.

Now I'm confused why would Finnick say that.

"So, it's true not only poorer District are having problems."

"I don't think it's like that, 12 is poor but the peacekeepers don't really care just like how they didn't in Four unless it was something big. Now they just kill innocents because they can. They say it's because we don't meet the fishing quota but why would the kill more people than just the fishermen."

"I was hoping this one wasn't true." Nina says she sounds sad. "There are rumors and one of them is that they are starting to make citizens sick from certain foods. Like _he_ does because they can't keep shooting people they need to make it look like it was natural."

"So you think Annie ate some of that food."

"Yes but, they shouldn't be giving that to you because they don't know but, you two are victors it should be obvious. Unless it didn't come from your house." Nina says.

"She goes to her Mother's frequently, but I don't think that's it."

"You should tell her Mom the truth-

"I already have… most of it but I didn't know about the food."

Does my own Mother know about the grand secret and not me. I want to get up and yell at him but I know if I do I will fall down because my limbs are still asleep.

"I don't think that is the reason either. Constantine, our head peacekeeper, wants her dead." Finnick says.

"Is he stupid, he will get killed." Nina.

"The rumor is his son was in the games and he didn't make it back but that's not why he is angry. It's because he is fond of these games and he is disgusted that Annie holds the title because she is _unworthy_."

I wonder if that is true.

"By the time we get back he should be dead but who knows how many of the others he told this to." Finnick says.

"If they're smart they won't touch her. You're the only one who can do that." She says. I think she is teasing him. Finnick knows Nina but I don't know how or why and I don't understand this corrupt business. Why are they killing us and why do they have to make it look 'natural'

"This is true." He says.

"She should be awake within ten minutes." She says.

"What were they like?" He asks.

"What?"

"Dreams."

"Terrifying. The thing about the sleep simulation is you can't wake up even when your body wants you to. Her brain waves were going off the charts." She pauses. "Do you wish you could get inside her head?" She asks.

"I just wish I could calm her down faster after she wakes from a nightmare, if I know what she's dreaming about it might help."

"Well that's the beauty about life, if you could read someones mind all the time some of the fun in life would be lost."

"I guess." Finnick says.

They don't say anything for a few minutes.

"She's surprisingly innocent though." Nina says.

Why do people keep saying this about me.

"That's not how I would put it." Finnick says.

"Well whatever you might think."

It's silent again.

"I feel like I should tell you this even though I'm not supposed give patient information out."

"What is it? Is she dying?"

"Why do you always assume the worse? I was just going to say that the dream she had right before she woke was about you."

"What about me?" Finnick says he sounds pleased about this.

"Finnick it wasn't a nice dream." She pauses. "You were sexually assaulting her."

"What?" Finnick says shocked.

"Now that could mean lots of things and just because she saw your face doesn't mean anything. She could just be afraid of that in general when we see people in our dreams usually the face belongs to someone we have seen before. It could just have been someone on the street but, more cases than not it is someone you know. It could also he that, that is what happens to you so the roles where reversed. Or it could just be the obvious."

"What's that?" He asks confused.

"That's she's afraid when you have relations with her because something will happen. Something like this."

"She isn't afraid. She knows I won't hurt her."

"She just might not tell you, like I said she's innocent, she might feel embarrassed."

"No." Finnick says.

"Like I said it could be different things."

"I will just ask her then."

"You can't do that. You're not supposed to know what she was dreaming about."

"I can bring it up in causal conversation."

"You're not that subtle." She say. She is right he isn't subtle at all.

"I can be if I try." He says.

I'm not scared when I have sex with Finnick or at least I don't think so I. I usually feel safe. I'm banking on the it's what happens to him because I've never had a dream like that before. It could've just been because I was here.

"Fine just don't get me in trouble." She says. "We should talk later after the mentors report."

"I can't." He says.

"Client?"

"I should stay with her."

"Finnick-

"I can't leave her alone, not right now."

"I understand, but before you leave I need to see you. I don't have enough money to throw away just to tell you a few sentences."

I wonder why she just can't tell him now and the theory about him going places and not telling me is basically confirmed.

"Relax, I said I would." Finnick says.

"Okay because I don't usually stay in Capitol City I just do when the games go on."

"I know it's so you can talk with everyone."

I make an involuntary moan like whimper.

"She's awake." Nina says and turns on a dim light and walks over towards me.

"Annie, do you know where you are?" She asks gently.

"In the Capitol being treated." I say and am surprised by my voice because I sound drunk and yet my mind is clear.

"Don't worry the meds mess with your mouth and vocal cords you should be back to normal by tomorrow."

"Do I look okay."

She nods.

"Like I said it was probably stress." She says. "Someone is here to take you to your suite." She says Finnick walks over here.

"Finnick." I say. I sit up but then lie back down because my body feels like jelly.

"Give it thirty minutes and you should be able to walk upstairs. Sometimes it may take an hour and you will probably feel tired so you should just go to sleep once you get to your suite." She says and starts to take off the wires from my head.

"Okay." I whisper.

"I'll just give you some time alone." She says and leaves the room.

Finnick leans down and kisses me.

"You're okay." He says.

"Okay." I say.

"How far away are we from our suite?" I ask.

"A couple blocks. I've got a car." He smiles.

"I figured."

I put my hands to my forehead.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up." I say.

"I'm sure you're fine." He says and kisses my forehead. I see the trash can is next to me. I pick it up and get sick.

"Mmmh." I say and lie back down.

"Nina." Finnick says worried.

"Don't worry this happens frequently with the sleep simulation. I probably should've mentioned it."

"How many times will I get sick?" I ask.

"Maybe only once, it could be a few more times though."

"Great." I mutter.

"Other than that you should be okay. If you don't feel better tomorrow you should call someone." She says and goes over to her clipboard. "You need to sign this saying you were in good health when you left. It helps so I won't get blamed if anything else happens."

I take the clipboard but am too dizzy to read it and I don't want to sign it without reading, because we are in the Capitol.

"Can you read this too me?" I ask Finnick.

"Yes." He says. It is basically what she said but with bigger terms and saying I can't sue and blah blah blah.

I am able to sign my name at the very least.

I hand it back to her and then hold Finnick's hand and he kisses my forehead.

"You're okay." He says.

"I know." I say. "I'm tired." I whisper.

"Okay. Do you think you can stand up so you can go to sleep?" He asks gently.

Before I can answer I grab the trash can and vomit again.

"I wanna go home." I whimper.

"Do you think you can stand up so I can take you there?" He asks.

"No, I want to go home, home."

"We can't go home not yet." He says and strokes my hair. "Do you think you can stand up?" He asks again.

I nod.

I still am wobbly so I'm gripping Finnick tightly as we get to the suite and before I know it we are in the bedroom and I am lying on a pillow with my eyes getting heavy.

Finnick lays next to me and runs his fingers through my hair

"Annie?" He asks.

"Mmmmh?" I say.

He kisses my forehead.

"Just go to sleep."

I nod.

"Okay." I whisper and do fall asleep. I was so tired I didn't even ask him about the tributes or opening ceremonies but I'm sure it when off without a hitch.

* * *

I wake up with droll on my chin. I sit up and wipe it off.

"That's attractive." I whisper and stand up. I feel better I look down and see all the bandages I didn't really look at them yesterday. Some are just covered with bandaids but others have the scary gauze.

I sigh.

"This is gonna hurt when I shower." I whisper and it does. The soap stings my legs and arms. I don't even try to shave my legs because I know that won't go well.

I get out of the shower and look at my face. The cut from where Constantine cut me finally healed but now I have more. Why is there a glass coffee table anyways? I wonder if I have to pay for it. It was probably not glass but crystal.

I dry off and get dressed and flop back down in bed and look at the ceiling. I feel something on my shoulders and stand up. I turn around and it was just Finnick. I forgot he was here. I don't know why he always sleeps in the same bed as me.

"You're awake." He says with his groggy morning voice.

"You're observant." I say and he smiles.

"You feel okay?"

"Yup." I say and smile. "Hungry though." I say.

"You could order something if you want. I think breakfast will be in a few hours."

I nod.

"I was thinking about doing that anyways." I say and get scrambled eggs it should be easy to eat in case I get sick again.

Finnick watches me while I eat.

"Can you not do that." I smile.

"Sorry." He says.

"Anything exciting happen last night?" I ask.

"Kind of Twelve seemed to make an impact this year."

"They're hogging everything this year." I smile.

"Rachel and the others from One and Two didn't seem to like it. So you were right that girl is higher on the kill list."

"How can coal miner outfits be the talk of the town?" I ask.

"New designer, they dressed them so they looked like flaming coals."

"Sounds cool." I say.

"They call her the girl on fire."

"Who?" I ask.

"The girl who volunteered from there."

"Oh. We are probably gonna have to work a bit harder." He says.

"You mean you, Luna, and Mags." I mutter.

"Annie don't worry about it. I will have to leave after the mentors report it might go a few hours this time."

"Yeah mentors report." I whisper.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asks confused.

"Nothing." I say and lean in and kiss him but he soon pulls away. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Annie, do you… I mean are you… never mind." He says.

"Okay weirdo." I smile and kiss him again but he is clenching is mouth. "What's wrong Finnick?" I ask.

"I just don't what to kiss you right now."

"Okay weirdo well when you feel like it you can." I smile and stand up.

"That doesn't bother you." He asks confused.

"Nope, I did like that sparkling personality first." I say all over dramatic.

"Okay because if you didn't want to kiss me Annie or anything else it would be the same way."

"I know." I say. This is his way of being subtle. I can't accuse him though because then he will know I was listening to whatever he was talking about with Nina.

"Annie I love you and don't want to-

"Where is this coming from Finnick?" I ask. Although I already know the answer.

"I was just thinking is all that maybe I took advantage or something."

"Says the guy who said _I_ had to earn it." I say and he smiles.

"I did say that didn't I?"

"More than once I may add so if anyone one was taking advantage over here it would be me doing it to you." I say.

"I love you Annie." He says and kisses my cheek.

"I love you too." I say.

We head outside shortly to eat with everyone else I mostly get fruit because of the eggs I had earlier.

Rachel complains the whole time about how she looked stupid. I'm sure Yule wouldn't like to hear that but he isn't here right now.

Seth doesn't say anything. They get told the basic training rules get in with One and Two and show off your skills.

"Okay, I gotta go." Finnick says after everyone else has left.

"Okay." I say and he kisses me.

Everyone else is gone, even Aries he wanted to talk to his friends about the opening ceremonies.

I lie back on the couch. I eventually reach for the t.v remote to watch the recap of the opening ceremonies. Now I understand the girl on fire comment because she and her district partner look like they are on fire. The crowd is loving them actually chanting her name. I wonder if they even know the boys name I know I don't.

I sit up when I hear the elevator ding. I expect Aries but am hoping for Finnick.

"What happened to you?" I ask.

"Don't worry about it." Blake says.

Blake clearly took a beating you can tell from his face it has cuts and is bruised. I also notice he didn't change his hair color because it is still the light brown. I don't think that is very important though.

"I want to talk to you about something."

"Did this happen because you talked to me on the phone?" I ask guilty.

"It doesn't matter Annie. I want to talk to you but, you have to swear that you didn't hear about anything from me or hear anything at all."

"What are you going to tell me?" I ask confused.

"I'm going to talk to you about District Nine." He says.

"Okay." I say that's not really confidential.

"I just think it's time you know a little something, but you can't let Finnick know."

"Why?"

"Because he wouldn't like it."

"Then don't tell me." I say.

"I don't feel morally right hiding this from you besides, this information won't get you killed."

"Why would I get killed?"

"That I can't tell you." He says.


	102. Chapter 102

**Chapter 102**

"You can't even tell me why I could get killed?" I ask confused.

"Correct, if I tell you why you could get killed, you could get killed."

"You're wrinkling my brain." I say.

He smiles.

"Don't think about it so much."

"Okay but shouldn't you be at your mentors report."

"That lasted like ten minutes Annie. What's there to talk about, how stupid out tributes looked?"

"Well Finnick has been gone for over an hour." I mumble.

"Well it could work different for you guys."

"Or he could be lying." I say.

"Maybe it's just a client."

"He tells me when he sees those."

"Well I don't know what to tell you." He says and looks me up and down. "What happened to you?" He asks.

"I fell down and broke a glass table on the train and then started seizing violently all over the shards of glass." I say.

"You win." He says.

"Win what?"

"How you got your injury award." He smiles. "Are you okay though?"

"Told me to my face it was stress."

"What do mean to your face?" He asks confused.

"I head Finnick and the neurologist saying stuff about District Four."

"Like it being corrupt?" He turns to me.

"Yes." I say confused.

"Annie remember how I told you some secrets aren't meant to be heard."

"Yes." I say.

"Well that is true but, Annie there is more in common with District Four, District Five, and District Nine. While you and Five have a great deal money there are still problems there."

"Five has more money than we do they are pretty much equal to One and Two if you remember from the Victory Tour."

"That was over ten years Annie and we haven't had a winner since Talia. Things can change in that amount of time."

"Well, even though it was mostly factories you could see the difference and _luxuries_ they had." I look at him. "How old are you?"

"Now Annie you aren't supposed I ask questions like that." he smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"Well Constantine said you were the victor of the 59th Hunger Games. I could make a guess but you're at least thirty."

"Who's Constantine?" He asks confused.

"That's our head peacekeeper but he probably won't be when we get home."

"Why?"

"He sort of tried to kill me."

Blake actually laughs at this.

"It's not funny." I say angrily.

"I know but how can someone be so stupid. I mean first of all you're a victor and second your Finnick's un-

"Please don't say untouchable." I whisper.

"Why?"

"Because it makes it sounds like Finnick owns me, he doesn't own me."

"I know, but what else are we supposed to say."

"Does everyone call me that?" I say because he said 'we.'

"Define everyone." He smiles.

I groan.

"Well I guess it is better than crazy." I mutter.

He doesn't comment on this.

"Twenty nine for the rest of the week." He smiles.

"Huh?" I ask confused.

"That's how old I am."

I do the math.

"So fifteen."

"No, sixteen I said for the rest of the week."

"You should've been-

"The reapings are never on the same day. Just the same month."

I didn't realize this until he brought it up.

"Now that probably means depending on your birthday you could get away with it once."

"The mercy year. That's what Talia and I call it." He says.

"A flaw in the system." I say surprised.

"There are many flaws in the system." He pauses. "Four probably doesn't it see it because you are better off than Nine. However it doesn't matter how many riches you have between our districts right now because the same thing is going down."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"They can't keep killing in Nine it's not like Four Annie they're aren't as many casualties that can be made.

"Casualties?"

He nods.

"I didn't realize we were in a war." I say

"Every day is Annie." He says.

I think about this and it is true. Especially now.

"You should know don't you remember- he stops talking. "That's right you don't know." He says. That must be the short term memory thing. I have a feeling if I talk to him long enough he will let something slip especially since no one is here to tell him to shut up. I could take advantage of this but I won't because that wouldn't be nice.

"So what's the deal about Five, Four, and Nine all being connected?"

"Right that. They have all been comprised or corrupt if you will. To be fair District Nine has for awhile. The death siren and everything."

"So that does signal when to kill people." I whisper.

"Oh you haven't figured that out yet." He says. He sounds sorry.

"I thought but I didn't want to believe it."

"Well it does mean killings. It happens almost once a month at home. You eventually figure out when to stay inside besides, they can't kill that many because the population at home isn't very large unlike Five and yourself."

"Then what do we all have in common."

"The unnecessary killings, the sudden increase of peacekeepers. The accusations of not filling the quota."

"District Five is responsible for power though." I confused.

"Yes but didn't you..." He pauses. "I talked with Bleu and Jay." Which is clearly a lie Bleu hates Blake and because she is the only other victor she probably got Jay to hate him too. I don't know why they dislike each other so much. It's not just the District because she likes Talia.

"Doesn't she hate you?" I say.

He realizes his lie he isn't very good. He needs a buffer here, but because he isn't supposed to be telling me this he can't have one.

"It doesn't matter how Annie, it just is. There is a storm brewing in the Districts mostly yours and Five right now."

"What does that mean?"

"I looked into the files of imports and exports just in Nine and our citizens are sending more than enough grain. This is just an excuse so they can kill people. I'm sure it is similar in Four with the fish."

"Well why would they do that?"

"Maybe people in Four and Five have been getting a little too comfortable or maybe they know about-" He stops himself again. He really could slip up. "They might know stuff."

I'm not going to ask what kind of stuff because I know the answer will be I can't tell you.

"Well then why isn't this happening in One and Two?"

"Because they are the Capitol's lap dog."

"But-

"Four has loyalty to the Capitol not as much Annie. I think… I think Annie they want to bring down District Four and Five."

"You mean kill everyone." I say nervously.

"No, make you, you know not as wealthy."

"Why would they do that?"

"You're taking too much, maybe the economy in the Capitol isn't too great."

"Blake they all have money I don't think the economy is in any danger."

"Well something is wrong for them to try and bring down two strong Districts." He pauses. "What exactly did you over hear?"

"That District Four was corrupt and that they are going to start poisoning citizens instead of shooting so it could look more _authentic_. That's why she thought I started seizing."

"You're having strange dreams too aren't you?"

"I always have strange dreams." I whisper.

"Annie you knew what I meant."

"There was this one dream but that doesn't mean anything."

"What was the dream about?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"That bad."

"It's embarrassing." I say and can feel my cheeks get hot.

He smiles

"Okay you don't have to tell me but just answer me this."

"Okay."

"Was Finnick in it?"

"Maybe." I whisper.

"They're not trying to kill you." He says.

"Why would you say that?"

"You said they were giving out tainted food Annie and that the symptoms were the same but, they aren't trying to kill you. It starts with strange dreams, then you seize, then you get sick, then you die. But they aren't doing that with you."

"This happens in Nine then."

"Yes."

"Well the first two things happened." I mutter.

"Yes but because you had a dream about Finnick they aren't trying to kill you they're trying to get you away from him."

"Finnick said Constantine was trying to do that."

"See now I don't know what your dream was about but did it make you uncomfortable and have you question your relationship."

"Maybe."

"They did this awhile ago to Talia's husband. Shortly before Snow killed him."

"That's right she was married. She's has a kid too right."

"Yes."

I remember what Snow said that night in when I was being taken home after solitary confinement. He said he was only keep Talia's daughter alive so she could play in the games.

"Blake I don't know if I should tell you this but I overheard Snow say-

"That he was waiting for her twelfth birthday so she could go into the Hunger Games, yeah I know. I figured that out all by myself. So did Talia but she doesn't like thinking about it." He pauses. "Especially now." He whispers.

"What's wrong with her?" I ask.

"She kind of had a serious breakdown it hasn't been this bad since her husband died. She hasn't really said anything in a few months and just sits around all day clenching and unclenching her hands." He says sadly.

"Well what about her daughter."

"Don't worry Annie my sister is taking care of that and Talia still sees her but she doesn't really talk."

"When will it wear off?"

He shrugs.

"Don't know, I'm just hoping soon." He stands up. "I shouldn't be away too long she'll know the meeting didn't last this long."

"You've been gone for an hour."

"No like I said ten minutes. It goes in District order and only One Two and Four meet with the head gamemaker the rest see interns." He smiles.

"I see." I say

"Yup." He says and starts to head for the elevator.

"Wait."

"Yes?" He purrs causing me to roll my eyesight

"Why did you feel morally wrong from not saying this."

"Oh that's right I forgot the main part. They're going to go after your family Annie." He says so casually.

"What why?"

"You're not under Snow's deal and Finnick only has you on the protection list. They are trying to break you Annie I don't know why though." He says. "But I'm sure you can ask Plutarch when we see him later."

I look at him, there it is the slip. That name was all over Finnick's report files.

He soon realizes what he has done it and puts he hand on his forehead.

"Who is he?" I ask.

"I was doing so well too." He whispers probably not for me to hear

"Who is he Blake? I saw that name all over Finnick's report files."

Blake looks shocked at this.

"He showed you those."

I shake my head.

"I sort of found them."

"Annie you can't look at that stuff they have reasonable cause to kill you now. What did they say?"

"I didn't understand most of it, it was just a list of secrets Finnick had found out."

"Annie don't look at those." He says firmly.

"Well people keep hiding things from me. Do you know how frustrating that is?"

"Annie, you can't do that. I like you and don't want you to get killed. Just stop looking for answers." He says.

I sigh.

"Fine but who is he?"

"Who?"

"Plutarch Heavensbee?" I ask.

"No one, and don't ask around either that will bring unwanted attention to yourself."

I groan.

"I'm serious." He says firmly.

I sigh.

"Fine." I say.

"Good." He

"I have one more thing." I say.

"Okay." He says nervously.

"How did you get hurt?"

He smiles.

"I was giving money to people who needed it without the right permits. That's a thing in Nine Annie, although I don't usually get hurt because of the whole _victor_ thing."

"Okay." I say confused.

"Like I said I better check on Talia besides, I'm assuming Finnick will be back soon."

"Okay."

"I will see you later, probably at the interviews."

"Probably." I whisper.

He gets up and leaves. I wish he would've made a bigger slip so I could know who this Plutarch is. Blake sounded like Finnick does when I try to find things out. Angry and worried. Worried that I might have found something out something that could kill me.

I hear the elevator ding and see Finnick and he walks over here. He sits down and kisses me.

"You do anything exciting?" He teases.

"No, it was pretty boring." I say and smile. He does too, but it doesn't meet his eyes. He knows I'm lying.


	103. Chapter 103

**Chapter 103**

I bolt awake and can feel the sweat roll down my forehead. I put my hands on my cheeks and can feel the tears I was crying. The same ones I was shedding in my nightmare.

I sniffle and have a shutter throughout my body.

I close my eyes and keep seeing it. It isn't helpful that it was in this room. I get up out of bed and head to the bathroom and splash water on my face.

"It wasn't real." I say to myself in the mirror. I look down and can feel my chin trembling. "It felt real." I whisper.

This was just one of those dreams Blake was talking about. The dreams that are trying to get me to leave Finnick. I still don't understand why. Will they think if I leave, Finnick would stop caring because I know that won't happen.

I'm starting to become uncomfortable though. I almost don't want to sleep next to me.

I lie back in bed and try to go back to sleep but don't want to see or feel that again.

I'm starting to hyperventilate from all the thoughts. I make small whimpering noise when I exhale.

"Annie?" I hear Finnick says groggily.

He turns on the bedside lamp and is about to hug me.

"Don't touch me!" I shout.

Finnick backs off and looks at me confused.

"Annie focus on your breathing." He says gently.

It isn't helping and I start crying. I can tell I'm not getting enough oxygen. I'm going to pass out soon if I don't calm down.

"Annie, Annie. It's gonna be okay." I hear Finnick says. "Just breathe in, and then out slowly." Finnick says and then does it.

It takes me a few minutes to actually accomplish this and then probably at least thirty to calm myself down.

"See you're okay." Finnick says and smiles.

I sit up and lean against the headboard.

Finnick doesn't move probably because I shouted for him not to touch me and I still don't want him to.

"You okay?" He asks.

"I think so." I whisper and rub some of the tears from my face.

"Okay." He says. "Is it because of the games?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"No." I say and can feel another round of crying about to start.

"You had a nightmare?"

"Yes." I whisper.

"Were you in the arena?" He asks.

"No."

"In a locked room?"

"No."

"Snow?"

"No."

"What was it Annie." He says gently.

"I can't tell you." I sob.

"Annie you can tell me anything."

I turn on my side away from Finnick and start tracing circles on the sheets.

"Annie, you can tell me anything." He says again with more kindness than before.

"Ever since I woke up from the train I've had this one dream… about you." I say and can feel the tears drip onto the pillow.

"What's this dream about Annie?" He asks gently.

"You and me." I sniffle.

"Okay." He says.

"It starts off nice but then it's not." I mutter.

"What happens in these dreams?" Finnick asks although I'm sure he can muster a guess especially since Nina told him.

"I don't want to tell you." I whisper.

"Annie, if you tell me you might feel better." He says.

"No it won't." I whisper.

"Why not?" He asks.

"You'll think I'm stupid." I say at a high pitch tone that I don't think he understood.

"It's okay Annie." He says confirming that he didn't know what I said because if he did he would say I wasn't stupid.

"No it's not." I whisper.

"Yes it is." He says. I can tell he is smiling. "You don't have to tell me Annie but you should just try to go back to sleep." He says.

I start crying again.

"Annie did I say something wrong?" He asks.

"It's about you. You and I are happy in the dream but then it gets not happy fast and then… you…" I sniffle. "You try to… you do things you shouldn't be." I whisper. "You make me feel uncomfortable… you…" I start crying again.

"Annie you don't have to say anymore." Finnick says gently and surprisingly calm.

I turn towards him with tears still in my eyes.

He smiles.

"Hi." He says and smiles.

"What… why are you looking at me like that?" I say.

"Like what?" He asks confused.

"That you're happy and that you love me."

"I do love you Annie." He says.

"Why? I'm... those dreams and I-

"Annie those dreams aren't real. I'm never going to hurt you in any way shape or form."

I start crying.

"It's okay Annie. I love you so much, and I'm sorry you're having these dreams but, that is all they are I'm not going to hurt you. Especially like that."

I start crying again.

"Can you hug me." I sob.

He does and I lean into him. He strokes my hair and rubs my back.

"You're okay." He says.

He doesn't do anything else not even kiss my forehead because I told him I didn't want him to touch me.

I push him closer to me and whimper.

"It's okay Annie. You're fine."

I'm whimpering like a dying animal.

"Shhhh." Finnick says.

I start crying again.

"Annie it's okay." He says but I don't say anything because I'm crying too hard.

"Mmmmmh." I whimper.

"Love you." He whispers.

Suddenly I feel okay. I guess I just needed to hear that again.

"Love you." I whisper and close my eyes.

* * *

I wake up and head to the common room. I didn't have another nightmare after I woke up which I am grateful for. When I walk out there I see only Aries is awake.

"Hello, hello Annie how are we this morning?"

"Alright I guess."

"You do realize my room is right next to yours." He says. I am confused by his statement why would he be telling me this.

"No I didn't."

"Well, I would appreciate it if you would try and not scream so much I know you have nightmares but-

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

He looks taken back by this.

"Oh… okay."

"Why do you sound so surprised by this?" I ask confused.

"Well I was expecting you to put up a fight or something."

"I'm sorry." I say.

He looks at me strangely.

"Something is wrong with you, and I demand to know why." He says.

"You _demand_." I scoff.

"Well something is wrong."

"I guess but I'm not going to talk to you about this."

He sighs and turns on tv. Why are all Capitol citizen so nosy.

_"Now here is a showing of one my favorite Hunger Games the 63rd."_ Caesar Flickermen says with his blue hair I think this is the year Cashmere won.

_60, 59, 58…_

"Turn this off." I say.

"I love this one Annie, Cashmere was such a smart girl."

"Turn it off!" I shout and the bloodbath starts and the screams and blood fly.

I pick up the nearest object and throw it at the tv. I hear a break I didn't think it was something solid. I didn't meant to break the tv

"Annie you cracked the screen." Aries says angrily.

"I didn't mean to." I whisper.

"Well that is another thing that is added to your bill I just hope you have enough money." He mutters and then gets up and is saying things to himself. The screen is broken but I can still hear it.

"Shut up!" I shout at the screen and turn it off.

I hear someone come out here.

"Annie?" I hear Finnick say.

He sits next to me.

"Aries turned on the tv to a watch a Hunger Games and it's- the screaming and blood." I start crying and Finnick sits next to me but doesn't do anything, probably because of the nightmare last night.

So I just lean on him and he wraps his armsaround me.

"It's okay Annie it's over." He says.

"No it's not. I have to watch something like that in three days." I whimper.

"It's okay Annie, don't think about it now."

"Avoiding it won't solve anything Finnick!" I shout.

"I know… but it will help." He says.

I look up at him and know he is correct, living in a fantasy land where it won't happen is easier than to accept the inevitable. it's not like I'm going in there. If I did go in there I would probably just kill myself. I couldn't deal with that, I know I couldn't. I would step off the platform and be blown to bits.

"Annie." Finnick says worried.

"What?"

"You were shaking and you looked terrified."

"I just thought what would happen if I ever went in there again."

"Don't worry Annie that will never happen. There's a reason why there is no all star games it's because the Capitol loves their victors."

"I don't think they love me." I whisper.

"You have many admirers Annie." He says.

I'm sure he would know, I remember Cynthia and sigh from her.

I look up at him.

"I'm going to kiss you." I say.

"Okay." He smiles.

I do but not for long and I have him let go of me so I can lay back on the couch. I put my legs on his lap.

I'm waiting to see if anything happens but nothing does. I sit back up and lean on him and he slowly wraps his arm around me.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says.

* * *

Tonight is the night of the scores and I still have creepy dreams about Finnick assaulting me. I want to ask Blake to see if he knows how long this will last.

Finnick sits next to me on he couch in front if the tv. We got a new one because of the one I broke, this one is bigger and fancier.

"Can I hold your hand?" Finnick asks.

"Finnick you don't have to ask to hold my hand." I say, but kissing is probably an always for the foreseeable future maybe hugging as well.

"Okay." He says and laces his fingers with mine and I lean against him.

The tv screens soon turn on and Caesar pops up giving the cheesy introduction speech.

Then he starts going though the list. All of the careers get Nines or Tens. I'm surprised that Seth pulled a nine. I'm also surprised Rachel is staying for all of them. I think she wants to see which ones she will kill first. My mouth goes dry at the thought. Thresh from Eleven is right up there with the careers.

"Now, last but certainly not least is Katniss Everdeen but we know her as he girl on fire. She has received the score of… an eleven! The highest of the bunch!" He says impressed.

Rachel crushes whatever was in her hand.

"She dies first." She shouts and then storms off. Seth leaves shortly after. I don't think I have heard say twenty words. I feel sorry for this kid.

"I'm gonna go to bed." Finnick says after a few hours.

"Okay. I think I'll stay out here." I say.

He nods and stands up.

"Wait." I say.

"Yes?" He asks confused.

"Goodnight kiss." I say and he smiles and does.

"Goodnight Annie." He says.

"Goodnight Finnick." I say and watch him leave. I wait at least twenty minutes until I head to the elevator. I need to ask Blake about these dreams now because I hate them. I want them to go away.

I hit the nine button and am there in a flash.

I open the door and walk to the common room and see Talia, the male tribute and a green women who I'm assuming is their escort. I don't see Blake and am hoping he isn't with one of his friends'.

I walk in and Talia smiles at me but doesn't anything.

"Annie Cresta." The escort says with a mix of shock and disgust.

"Hello." I say.

"What's she doing here?" The male tribute asks and I can tell he was crying.

"I wanted to talk to Blake is he here?" I ask but no one answers.

"Talia." I say and she turns my way. She walks over here and takes my wrist and starts dragging me to the elevator. I expect her to hit the four button but she presses the eight button instead.

"Talia am I allowed to hear what they are talking about."

She nods. I wonder if I could get her to say one word. Blake said she didn't talk much.

Her eyes are bloodshot but she doesn't seem tired. It's probably from crying. She is skinny but I don't spend enough time with her to know if this is how she usually is. She isn't starving.

The doors open and I don't know what to expect. It is much more luxurious than mine, more crystals, and lots of chandeliers are everywhere plus there is a loft and a patio to go outside. Not to mention the full kitchen while we just have a fridge and microwave. It is still fancy but, it's nothing like this.

"Wow." I whisper.

I don't know what to expect, maybe see Blake making out with Esmeralda or him not even here but, once when go all the in I see he is sitting on the couch with Esmeralda, a lavender women, and the female tribute.

"Blake." I hear Esmeralda say and she points our way.

He turns and is somehow in front of us before I can blink my eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asks Talia.

"Annie." She whispers and let's go of my wrist. She is about to leave but, before she can Blake whispers something to her and she smiles and leaves.

"What's wrong?" He asks me.

"I was just wondering if you knew how long those dreams would last." I whisper.

"Until the stuff is out of your system it depends on how much you've been exposed."

"Well can you give me an estimation?" I ask.

"When this happened to Talia it was around four months."

"I can't take four months of this dream. I don't like being around Finnick that much now."

He looks at me strangely.

"Annie just tell yourself it's not real."

"I do but that doesn't work Blake it's like I can feel what is going on the dream."

"Then it's either really strong or they've been slipping you this stuff for awhile. Which means your dreams will last longer than four months."

"I don't think I will want to live with him or at least have him stay in a different bedroom."

"That's what it is then."

It's not that hard to figure out what I am dreaming about.

"This is stuff brings out your greatest fear that you think might happen. Talia's dreams were that Neil was beating her probably because that happened with her parents. They were both pretty abusive to each other. Yours is from what I can gather is that Finnick is sexually assaulting you"

"But I never thought that before."

"It's in your subconscious, it was there before."

"Did Talia kick him out?" I whisper.

"I don't know. I got closer to her after he died. Although it's sometimes therapeutic to talk about your nightmares beside, I knew what is was though and told her. She felt more at ease by this."

"How long ago was this?"

"Awhile." He says and I nod.

"I don't like this." I say.

"That's the point, like I said they you to get away from Finnick. I think it's to kill you."

"Even if I did get away from Finnick I would still be on his protect list."

"I know but they must not think that."

I look over to the living room and see them all staring at us.

"I think I should go." I whisper.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow for the interviews." He pauses. "Don't let them win Annie."

"I won't." I say.

He nods and I head to the elevator.

I get back to my suite and head back to the bedroom corridors. I stand in the hallway debating if I should go and sleep in my bedroom or go and sleep in Finnick's so I can be alone.

I stand in the middle not knowing what to do because I feel like this will be drawing a line in the sand.

**A/N: Hello everyone thanks for reading! Just thought I should mention I got a new job (yay me! one I actually like too.) So my posting might just be limited to the weekend and possibly on Wednesday because I don't work on those days. I might be able to post on other days but it will probably be later at night (well from where I am from anyways). Thanks again for reading!**


	104. Chapter 104

**Chapter 104.**

I roll off the bed and fall to the floor.

"Ouch." I mutter and stand up and take a shower.

I dry off and get dressed and then put my hair up. I lie back down and move my hand to Finnick's face and trace the contours of his face.

I eventually decided to go back to my room. I know Finnick won't hurt me but these dreams are messing with me.

I trace my finger gently around his lips. I'm surprised I'm not waking him up. I remove my hand and then watch him sleep. I never understood why Finnick loved watching me sleep so much but I think I can now. If he feels what I am when I'm looking at him.

I watch him sleep until Aries pounds on our door saying it's time to wake up to 'help' the tributes. In reality Finnick and I will just be watching them get ready.

Finnick gets ready rather quickly but, before we head out to leave he sits on the foot of the bed. I walk over and sit next to him.

"Are you okay Finnick?" I ask.

"Yeah." He says but he sounds far away.

"Are you sure?" I ask because he doesn't sound it.

"Sorry it's just… Annie I love you."

"I love you too Finnick." I say confused.

"And if you were feeling uncomfortable you would tell me."

"I have been, haven't I?"

"Maybe I should just leave you alone." He whispers.

"No, because that's what they want."

"They?" Finnick asks confused.

"You know you said Constantine said he wanted me to push you away."

"Right but Annie I don't like seeing you cry-

"You see me cry all the time anyways." I smile.

"Not like this Annie you keep thinking that I'm going to-

"I'm not always thinking that Finnick."

"It's in the back of your mind though."

"Maybe, but do you really think leaving will help that feeling go away?"

"No, but maybe it will help the dreams go away." He says.

"I don't think so." I wonder if he knows the information Blake does and if he does I wonder why he hasn't put it together or told me.

"Annie." Finnick says worried.

"What?"

"Did you not hear what I said?" He asks gently.

"No sorry my mind was elsewhere."

He smiles.

"Okay." He says.

"Well what was it?" I ask.

"It wasn't important."

"Okay." I say and lean into him he wraps his arms around me tightly, securely, like he is protecting me from something.

Aries knocks on the door again.

"Finnick! Annie! Get out here NOW!" He shouts.

I lift my head from Finnick's shoulder and smile.

"We should go." I say.

"Yeah don't want to get yelled at again." Finnick says sarcastically.

I lean in and kiss him and then rest my head on his chest.

"I love Finnick."

"I love you too." He says and then stands up.

We watch them. Diana sneers at me the whole time she meets my gaze.

I hold onto Finnick's hand and never want him to let go even though I feel uncertain when he is kissing me.

"Alright time to leave!" Aries shouts.

We walk down to watch the interviews.

They start off the same way every year. My heart sinks when I see the twelve year old girl from Eleven. She looks like she could be seven. My hand clasps around Finnick's tighter.

"You okay?" He whispers in my ear.

"That poor girl." I whisper.

"I know." Finnick says and instinctively kisses my forehead. Which I don't mind. "Sorry." Finnick whispers.

"Forehead kisses are okay just like hand holding you don't have to ask." I say and look at him and kiss him briefly.

Then they start with District Twelve.

"Let's give it up from the girl on fire!" Caesar Flickermen shouts when he gets to Katniss.

They start with the opening jargon and Katniss is nervous.

"Let's go back to the moment they called your sisters name at the reaping and you volunteered. Can you tell us about her?" Caesar asks.

I think the reason he is asking this is because he knows the citizens will love it. Caesar actually helps the tributes or at least tries to spin a postive story.

"Her name's Prim. She's just twelve and I love her more than anything." Katniss says.

"What did she say to you? After the reaping?"

"She asked me to try really hard to win."

"And what did you say?" Caesar asks intrigued.

"I swore I would." Katniss says with an edge to her voice.

"I bet you did. Give it up for Katniss Everdeen of District Twelve." Caesar says.

They switch to the boy who's name is Peeta.

Peeta's interview is filled with lots of banter. Until Caesar asks if he has a girl waiting for him back home.

"Why do they always ask this?" I ask Finnick because when tributes are around this age they ask it there is someone special back home. Well they did ask a variation of this to me, they asked if I loved Finnick Odair. Which they still do some of the tributes blush and others say no. Most of them blush more than anything.

"He didn't get a very high training score, knowing more about persons life will help get sponsors." Finnick says.

"I guess." I say.

Peeta shakes his head.

"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on what's her name?" Caesar asks.

I shake my head with disapproval, especially if he doesn't have anyone back home.

Peeta sighs dramatically.

"Well, there is this one girl. I've had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I'm pretty sure she didn't know I was alive till the reaping." He says he sounds sad.

"She have another fellow?

"I don't know but a lot of boys like her."

Caesar smiles.

"So here's what you do. You win, you go home. She can't turn you down then can she?"

"I don't think it's going to work out. Winning won't help in my case." Peeta says.

"Girl must be hard to get." I say.

"Maybe." Finnick says.

"Why ever not?" Caesar asks.

Peeta's face starts to turn a bright pink and starts to talk nervously.

"Because … because…she came here with me." He says and I gasp with the rest of the Capitol citizens.

"Poor Peeta." I whisper.

"Um Annie." Finnick says.

"What?" I ask.

"I don't think it's real." Finnick says.

"Of course it is. He seemed embarrassed and everything."

"He could be a good actor. I think I would know. Besides, this will be the talk of the town do you hear those cheers?" He says. He is true this will be all anyone will talk about but that doesn't change anything.

"Finnick trust me he does love this girl."

"I don't think she loves him."

"I didn't say anything about Katniss. I just said I know _he_ loves her." I say and he smiles.


	105. Chapter 105

**Chapter 105**

We head to the elevators to go back upstairs the room seems to be buzzing because of Peeta's declaration of love.

Finnick and I end up sharing an elevator. I don't realize who with until we are in there and it is Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss.

I smile and then look at the ground uncomfortable

Haymitch and Finnick exchange words. I notice Katniss is glaring at Peeta.

I nudge Finnick in the elbow and he looks at me.

"What's wrong?" He whispers in my ear.

I nod my head towards them.

"See." I say.

"Alright you win." He whispers.

I notice Katniss is also giving Finnick a look of disapproval. I understand why but it is making me angry.

Our floor dings and Finnick says goodbye to Haymitch.

Finnick grabs my hand and spins me around until I'm in his arms again.

I start laughing.

"I love you." I smile.

"I love you too." He says.

I lean in and kiss him. I think that is how it will have to be from now on because I feel awkward when he has to ask me and it has only been a few days.

Finnick's hands find my waist and he pushes me closer to him.

I hear the elevator ding and we both back away as fast as magnets do.

"Because she's here with me." I hear Rachel mock Peeta. "They are being such." I hear a crash. "Whores!" She shouts.

I make a scoff like laugh sound because they are close to us.

Finnick's lips twitch trying to hid the smile.

"Well it doesn't matter you have many admirers and just because they are good at working a crowd.-" Aries says

"Fire girl got the highest score I want her blood on my hands." Rachel snarls.

Seth just walks back to the bedroom corridors probably uncomfortable. Mags follows him.

"Well I take it you don't have questions." Luna says.

"No, I'll be counting the minutes until fire girl has burnt out." Rachel snarls and walks back to her room so do Luna and Aries. It is just Finnick and myself now.

We sit on the couch and Finnick smiles.

"That was some chortle Annie." He smiles.

"I guess I'm not good at hiding my laughter." I smile.

"Well I like that about you." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"Thanks." I smile and can feel myself blush.

"I also like when I make you blush." He says and kisses my cheek.

I clear my throat.

"I know. I like that too."

He runs his fingers through my hair.

"I like when you do that." I smile.

"Really?" He says.

I nod.

"Makes me feel relaxed."

He leans in to kiss me, but I need to meet his lips. Despite this he is the one controlling the kiss. His hands are still running though my hair.

I stop kissing him.

"I like that, makes my stomach flutter with butterflies." I say a little out if breath.

"Good I'm glad." He smiles and kisses my cheek.

I smile and kiss him again this time he lets me control the kiss. It's a lot softer and slower but I do like when Finnick kisses me. It isn't rough but more fast paced and arguably more passionate.

I fall back on the couch still kissing him. I let him rest on top of me.

"Stop." I say when his hands start to wonder.

He does and sits up.

"I'm sorry Annie." He says.

"It's okay." I kiss his cheek. "Besides I think that is my line." I smile and so does and shakes his head.

"I don't think it matters." He says and brushes my hair off my shoulder. "I love you." He smiles.

"I love you too." I say and kiss him briefly.

I lean against his shoulder and intertwine my fingers with his.

"Annie." Finnick says after awhile.

"Yes." I say.

"I'm going to go to sleep." He says and let's go of my hand.

"Okay. Do you want me to go with you?" I ask.

"No. You can stay here if you wish."

"I think I will then." I smile he kisses my cheek and heads to the bedroom corridors.

I lay back on the couch and look at the ceiling tiles. I'm wondering if I will ever let Finnick do anything to me again.

I sigh. I know he doesn't care about that. I could just hold his hand or just sit next to him. Finnick deserves more though.

I don't know how long I stay out here before I hear footsteps. I expect Finnick so I'm not surprised when I hear his voice.

"Annie." I hear a soft whisper.

I turn around and see Finnick. He's been asleep probably a few hours and his hair is already messy. I smile but it soon fades because Finnick looks so small. He looks sad.

"Come here." I say and he does.

He sits next to me and holds my hand.

I get a good look at him. His messy hair is damp and his eyes are puffy. He was crying. I knew this already from his body language and voice. It's strange because just a few short hours ago he was laughing and smiling.

"Finnick." I say gently and he turns to me. "You okay?"

He shakes his head.

"No." He says. His voice is thick and I can see the tears build up in his eyes. He hugs me and starts crying.

"Shhhhh. It's okay Finnick."

He is blubbering something but I don't understand him.

I pull him closer to me and he rests his head against my chest. His tears are falling onto me. Finnick hasn't been this upset in a while. Finnick isn't too proud to cry. He says if he would keep it all bottled up he would explode. I don't really care.

"It's okay." I say and kiss his cheek. I keep rubbing his back. He keeps shaking from the intensity of his tears. Asking rational questions now wouldn't be smart so I just keep reassuring him everything is fine.

When he finally stops crying I get him to look up and his face is wet and he still looks sad. He doesn't look terrified like he usually does when he has a nightmare. He just looks sad.

I kiss his cheek and can taste the saltiness from his tears.

He hugs me tightly it feels like the wind has been knocked out of me.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I ask. I hate being called by pet names but I know Finnick likes it so I only do it when he's very upset.

"Not out here." He whispers.

I look to the corner and see the Avoxs. If they could talk this would be all over the Capitol. Then again lots of things would.

"Okay." I say and kiss his cheek again.

We head to the bedroom corridors but we don't head to my room we head to his.

"Finnick?" I say confused.

"We aren't going in there." He says.

"Okay." I say confused.

We get in his bedroom and lay on the unused bed.

"What's wrong." I ask again.

He doesn't say anything he just hugs me again and his hands grip my hair. I'm starting to get worried Finnick has never acted like this before.

"Finnick what's wrong?" I ask again trying to hide my worry.

"Annie." He sobs.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry." He says.

"Why?" I ask confused.

"I didn't mean to."

"Didn't mean to what? Finnick you didn't hurt me."

"I know." He whispers.

"Then why are you sorry?"

"I-I it was right there Annie practically taunting me."

"What? Finnick if you want me to help you, you need to tell me what's wrong." I say as gentle as possible.

"I didn't mean to. I don't know why I even got it. I didn't mean to I mean I stopped before but I didn't mean to Annie." He sobs.

"You stopped?" I ask confused.

"Annie." He whimpers.

I sit up and start to walk towards my bedroom.

"Annie no stay here."

"That's my room Finnick why don't you want me to go in there?" I ask.

His grasp around my wrist just tightens.

"Finnick you're really starting to worry me." I say.

He closes his eyes and breathes in and out.

"I just... I don't know." He says.

"Finnick."

"I don't know it just happened... almost"

"What just happened."

"I started to have those thoughts Annie."

"What kind of thoughts?" I ask but then think of something. "Finnick I know you're probably not going to hurt me-

"No not that-" He says and mumbles something else.

"Finnick." I say gently and he mumbles something again.

"Annie. I don't want to tell you."

"Then how can I help you."

"You can't." He says and I nod.

"I just want to help you sweetie." I say and stroke his hair.

"I think I want to go to sleep"

I hold back a groan because I want him to tell me but, I can't make him talk and I don't want to.

"Okay." I say.

I lay down and Finnick leans on my shoulder. I keep running my fingers through his hair until I can hear soft snores.

I get up slowly trying not to wake him and head back to my bedroom.

I open the door and don't know what to expect. I see the pillows and covers on the floor but that isn't very shocking. I do notice that the sheets have been tied strangely.

I shrug it probably just had to do with the nightmare.

I head to the bathroom mostly because if I use the one in the other room it will wake Finnick. Also because I have stuff I'm supposed to put on my cuts. They are almost all healed. I don't know what they put in Capitol drugs but they are fast acting.

I open the bathroom door and slip on something before I can turn the light on.

"Ouch." I say rubbing my lower back as I stand up. I expect to see water but I see this purple liquid. There's also glass on the floor.

"What in the world." I whisper.

He threw it against the wall because I can see a stain on it.

I see a similar bottle on the table top. I pick it up and then notice what the label says.

I drop the bottle and leave before it shatters to the floor.

I run to our room and Finnick sentence makes sense now. '_I started to have those thoughts Annie_'

I want nothing more than to wake Finnick but he should get his rest.

I watch Finnick breathe in and out for the whole night wanting to make sure.

The words on the label ring in my head.

_Purple Serum_

_Medical liquid that should only be administered by doctors._

_The effects of this serum is immediate. It will take effect in less than a minute. The purpose of this drug is used for helping patients when they want to die instead of suffer a painful death. This drug is used for evoking death._

I started to have those thoughts Annie

Finnick is starting to have suicidal thoughts again. If he would've taken this he would've been dead in minutes. I could've found him in the bathroom floor.

I shiver at the thought.

I wonder how he got that stuff. Then again maybe one of his clients is a doctor but they wouldn't give him something that could kill people or would they?

This is at least the third time he has tried to do this. I wonder how many times he has thought of doing this. I don't like thinking about this. I can't imagine what I would've done if I found him dead on the floor.

I shiver at the thought.

I look down at him and kiss his forehead.

"I thought you said you would talk to me." I whisper.


	106. Chapter 106

**Chapter 106**

Finnick squints his eyes and then wakes up.

"Annie?" He says alarmed.

"What?" I ask tired from watching him all night. The worst part about this is I will be up until these games last which will be awhile.

"You don't look okay. Did you have trouble sleeping.?"

"No because I was watching you."

"Now who's the creep." He smiles and leans in to kiss me but I touch his shoulders stopping him.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask." He says.

"Huh?" I ask confused.

"To kiss you."

"I don't care about that. Finnick last night after you fell asleep I went back to my room."

"You're supposed to sleep before the games start at least an hour. I think we have enough time so you can get a few hours." Finnick says trying to change the subject.

"I found something in the bathroom." I continue on.

"Annie-

"Finnick. I worry about you just like I'm sure you do with me."

"Annie-

"Finding that stuff all over the bathroom terrified me Finnick." I hug him.

"Annie I didn't do it. I was being stupid and-

"Did you almost do it?" I whisper.

Finnick avoids my gaze.

"Finnick, I won't get mad. I promise. I just want to get all the details."

It's silent for a long time

"Finn-

"Yes I had it to my lips and everything."

I swallow hard.

"Why didn't you talk to me about this." I whisper.

"Because… because I felt like you would… I don't know. I just... don't want anyone to know this stuff because then you will think in crazy."

"Finnick, I don't think I have the jurisdiction to call anyone crazy. Besides, it doesn't make you crazy. Finnick you promised-

"I know but it didn't seem like it mattered."

"Are you depressed or something because we can get you help Finnick maybe some medication-

"I'm not depressed Annie it's just sometimes I just… want everything to end."

I hug him.

"Well it's not going to." I say and kiss his cheek.

He rubs my back and pushes me closer to him.

"Finnick." I say after awhile.

"Yes?" He says.

"Why didn't you do it." I say before I can stop myself. "You don't have to answer I-

"You." He whispers.

"Me?" I say confused.

"Right before I was about to chug it and probably collapse on the floor and well you know. I just thought of the last happy thing that happened to me so I could think of something happen when..." He shakes his head. "Anyways it had to do with you. Just you. Last night when we were talking about how Peeta loved Katniss and when I was kissing you." He shakes his head maybe at the memory.

I smile.

"I like kidding around with you Annie." He says.

"I like that too." I say. "But Finnick you have to talk to people because you're good at hiding it. I mean you were laughing and smiling last night. How long have you been thinking this?"

"It's not a 24/7 type deal Annie it's just." He shrugs "I don't know but when Constantine went after you." He shivers.

"Finnick you know he just wants me dead."

"I know but still and the district fell apart and it was like what's the point nothing is getting done we are going to be like this forever."

His statement is confusing me but I'm not going to ask.

"But in that time frame you seemed really happy."

"I know."

"Were you?" I ask not wanting to hear the answer because I feel stupid for not seeing it. I'm supposed to know him like the back of my hand. I would feel stupid knowing that I could've helped him before he almost brought poison to his lips.

"For the most part but, sometimes though… I just pretended to make you happy."

"Finnick you try so hard to make sure everyone else is okay. You forget about you. You need to make sure you're okay. You should be your number one priority."

"I'm not… you are."

"Well I guess I feel the same way about you, but Finnick you're good at acting and hiding it and I want to… I need to help you. I need to make sure nothing happens to you."

"I know it's just." He pauses and looks off into the distance.

"Finnick." I say gently.

"It's hard Annie being that vulnerable about something like this."

I'm surprised by this statement because that's my job in the relationship. Finnick doesn't seem to have any problems sharing what he is thinking even when he should shut up. Yes sometimes I do need to press him for information but it doesn't take that long.

"Finnick I'm not going to hurt you." I say gently.

"I don't know-

"Finnick you're scaring me." I pause. "I don't want to leave you alone now."

He doesn't say anything and holds me close to him.

I can feel a few tears fall into my hair.

"I don't think I should be alone." He whispers.

"Okay." I say. "You never will be then."

My eyelids are starting to get heavy.

"Annie you really should sleep."

"I can't leave you alone." I mumble.

"No the drugs they give us will mess with your mind you need to sleep."

"I-

"Aries is in the main room by now, maybe Mags too-

"You should tell her Finnick."

"Annie-

"If you don't I will." I say. She will make sure Finnick is alright and probably won't let him out of her sight.

"Okay." He says and kisses my forehead.

"And when we get home-

"Yes I will tell Marci and Jason."

"Good." I smile.

I look to the clock the tributes leave in three hours.

My eyes close and I feel a hard shaking on my shoulder and bolt up. It felt like it was a few minutes but it was a few hours.

"I'm awake. I'm awake." I say.

"Okay." Finnick says and takes my hand.

"Did you tell her?" I ask as we walk to the elevator.

He nods.

"She said some of the same stuff you did but-

"It's fine." I say and he nods.

We head to the hive and are alone. Mags and Luna must be taking down the tributes.

I sign into my desk and then sit next to Finnick. He can't hurt himself in here and the only place we can talk is the lounge because things echo in here.

I go over and kiss Finnick and smile.

"Hey." I say and move my hand to his cheek.

"Yes?" He asks.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Finnick I need you to know something okay?"

"Okay." He nods.

"I love you."

"I know-

"Shut up and let me finish." I say and he smiles. He likes it when I'm so direct which rarely happens because I'm so nice or as everyone says innocent.

"I love you and I'm going to make sure you're okay. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm here to stay. I'm going to be at your side even when you don't want me to be but-

"But?" Finnick smiles.

"You gotta let me in there." I say and point to his forehead.

"I like being guarded and I don't like talking about this."

"You're not very guarded Finnick you tell me almost everything, some things you should probably not share like…with anyone." I smile.

"I'm sorry Annie but that was a really funny moment I mean it looked like-

"Finnick don't finish that sentence… again."

"Sorry." He smiles.

"So what do you mean by guarded?"

He sighs.

"I meant about this. This isn't something you just say. I wouldn't know how to tell you or in the right way."

"I don't think there is a right way or time Finnick. I think you just have to say it. 'Annie lately I've been having troubles in my life and I'm thinking about ending it. Annie I'm thinking about killing myself.'" I impersonate him.

"You make it seem so easy."

"Well it isn't the same thing because I'm not having those thoughts." I say. I have thought about killing myself before. Right after I won and right after I came home from solitary confinement. I never did anything though.

I cup my hand around his cheek and he leans into it. "Maybe you just don't want to say it out loud because that makes everything seem so real."

"Maybe." He whispers,

"I love you Finnick. I really do."

"I love you too." He says and I kiss him but once again he takes the lead. It is softer this time. Finnick is a good kisser well…I've only kissed one other person but you can tell. However thinking of the reason for being a good kisser makes my head spin and not in a good way.

The elevator doors open and I break the kiss and hug him as we get locked into the hive.

I look towards the projection of the games. This year it is woods with a field in the back.

"Probably lots of traps." Finnick says.

I nod.

_The 74th Hunger Games will start in 60 59 58… 3, 2, 1_

The gong sounds and I notice the boy from twelve just runs away not bothering to get supplies. I think I would've done that if I didn't have the careers.

I see Seth being tackled to the groud and look away because I don't want to see him die.

Finnick rubs my back trying to comfort me but it doesn't matter the haunting screams in my nightmare are being heard right now.

I sit back down on the chair and put my hands over my ears and rock back and forth.

"Won't you come dance with me." I hear and snap my head up and see… me.


	107. Chapter 107

**A/N: To the guest who asked it was chapter 71 it was just heavily implied. I think there is another chapter where it is heavily implied as well. It is just how you read into it. It would still be terrifying though being in a vulnerable situation like that.**

**Thanks for reading everyone!**

**Chapter 107**

When I was a girl my father would always say this to me when I would cry.

I would go over and dance well, more sway with him or stand on his feet.

"Won't you come dance with me Annie." he would say.

I don't know what it was but it would always make me feel better. Maybe it was because he would hold me in his arms.

I go over to myself.

"What is this?" I ask confused.

"This is your mind." She says and twirls me around.

I look around.

"My mind is a barren place?" I see because I see lots of dead things and dried cracked ground.

"It used to be lovely but then the terrible awful happened."

"Terrible awful?" I ask confused.

I look at myself and I look more innocent. There is no craziness.

"Oh." I say softly.

"We could be full again Annie but you have to let me in."

I scoff.

"I'm fine with how I am. Besides, I'm broken beyond repair."

"Thinking that is what is making you crazy."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is but Finnick makes you feel better." She smiles.

"Finnick." We both say in awe.

"Yes but, you're afraid of him."

I scoff.

"We're afraid for him." She smiles.

"Well yes because I love him."

"We love him." She smiles.

I let go of her and sit in the dirt.

"Can I ask you some questions?" She asks.

"Go ahead but I might not answer." I say. It's strange to be talking to myself. Talking to the person I used to be. This whole thing is very trippy.

"Well that's up to you." She smiles.

"Fine." I say.

"It's been awhile since coming home from Snow's mansion how do you feel?"

"Pass." I say not waiting to answer that.

"I think you're doing alright don't you?"

"Pass." I say. I don't want to talk about this even if it is with myself.

She sighs.

"I think I will answer that one for you. You're doing alright, but you don't believe that. Am I right?"

"Pass." I say.

"Do you think pushing me away Annie is going to help you, because it won't. You're hoping that if you push people away enough they will start caring but they won't."

I don't say anything.

"If you push them away, don't you realize you will just be alone again?"

"Pass." I say and can feel the tears build up in my eyes. I don't push that many people away I did when I first came back from Snows mansion, but that was awhile ago. The feeling to shut everyone out is still there though. I don't think it will ever go away.

"If you push people away they will no longer care about your suffering."

I don't say anything again. I can't believe I'm hearing myself say these things.

"But Annie you've been so good about keeping the hell in your head under control but if you go back to your old ways. Go back to pushing people away it won't matter because the hell will just start growing stronger. Do you think you could live without Finnick?."

"Pass." I whisper because I know the answer and I don't like it. I don't like being so dependent of him but at the same time I do. I just hope I never find out what it's like without him.

"If he wasn't there the hell in your head would consume you. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Pass." I whisper knowing the answer is yes. I just don't want to talk about these things to anyone. Not even me.

"That's a lot of passes." She whispers. "Why won't you answer me?"

"Pass." I whisper.

"Why not?" She sobs. I walk towards and she mirrors my moves. I notice on her part of the mirror it is a beautiful forest. I turn around and still see I'm in the barren land. "You need me Annie. You need to admit that you are sane again. However I need you too, to keep the balance. You need to let me in. You need to start thinking you're alright." She says. I put my finger on the mirror curious but it shatters into a million pieces.

"Someone has to pick us up." I hear in the shadows.

I walk past the shards of glass and am in the beautiful forest but something isn't right. It's too beautiful. It's too perfect.

I sit in the grass surrounded by purple wildflowers and lay down and stare at the clear blue sky. It's so blue it hurts my eyes.

I get up and go to the pond which is so crystal clear I see my reflection.

"It's too nice on this side Annie." I hear my reflection say..

The sun is so bright it is blinding me my eyes are burning so I close them. It helps a little.

"You can fix it if we come together again." She smiles.

I sigh.

"Stop with that already." I mumble.

She walks out of the water

"Won't you come dance with me?" She asks again. I sigh but starts to waltz with her anyways. We are now in some ballroom but, still wearing normal clothes.

"How do you feel about Finnic? And the struggle is going through?"

"Sad and scared because I don't want him to hurt himself." I say and she spins me around.

"ReallY?" She smiles.

"Yes, why?"

"Because I feel if that is what he wants, we should let him."

"What? No he has so much to live for still."

"But you're thinking what I am."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are because you're me." The thought is at the back of my mind but, it is faint. I don't think I would ever tell him that because I don't want him to die. I don't want him to end his life.

I sigh.

"How do I get rid of you?" I ask.

"Accept that you aren't as broken as you think you are, maybe see what Finnick does."

I scoff.

"I guess you're not ready." She says and spins me again and I fall in the pond.

"Annie." I hear.

I look around and see I'm back in the hive and Finnick is looking at me worried.

"Annie?" He asks again.

"Finnick." I say.

"You're okay." He says.

"Are you asking or telling?" I smile.

"Both." He smiles. "Are you okay though Annie?" He asks.

"I think so." I say unsure. How can I admit to myself that I'm not crazy when clearly I am. I wish I could see inside Finnick's head because he sees it. I think he is the only one who does.

"How long was I gone?" I ask.

"Couple minutes." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Okay." I say.

"Nothing really excited happened game wise. Seth is dead."

I nod.

"Rachel with the careers?"

"Of course." Finnick smiles and kisses my forehead again.

"Okay." I say and hold his hand and lean into him.

After awhile I'm surprised by what happens.

"Look who it is lover boy." Clove says sharping a knife.

"You don't want to kill me." Peeta says.

"Why the hell not." Rachel sneers

"Because I'm the best shot you have at finding her. I can find her for you. I can lead you to the girl of fire." Peeta says. He is trying everything because he ran into them. I wonder if he can actually find Katniss.

"Looks like he didn't love her as much as you thought." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"He values his life more than hers that doesn't mean he doesn't love her."

"I wouldn't do that to you." Finnick says and looks at me. "I would die for you Annie."

"Such the dramatic." I smile and kiss him.

"I'm serious Annie." He says and cups my face in his hands.

"I know." I say and kiss him.

"Can you really lead us to her?" Cato says getting in Peeta's face.

Peeta nods.

"I found some of her snares back there. She's good at climbing trees she is probably somewhere near by."

"Okay." Cato says not bothering to consult with the others. I think out of all of the careers he wants her dead most.

They come close to finding Katniss when they kill a poor girl who was lighting a fire. Katniss is in an adjacent tree and she looks furious when she sees Peeta with the careers.

"He could be doing this to lead them away from Katniss." I say.

Finnick nods.

"If that's the case they will figure it out pretty fast." Finnick says.

"Maybe but maybe it will he enough time for Peeta to run away." I say.

It would be smart. He could just keep guard for the night and run away when they are all asleep. He would have to be careful not to wake them. but I think he is smart enough to do so.

Finnick brushes hair off my shoulder and I look at him.

"You okay?" I ask.

He nods.

"I just love you so much." He says and hugs me.

I lean on his shoulder and listen to his breathing. I wonder where this dramatic confession is coming from but I don't care.

"I love you too."


	108. Chapter 108

**Chapter 108.**

I don't really watch the games. I'm too busy watching Finnick. All I really know is that the careers are killing people and that Peeta is still with them. He's doing a good job at keeping them at bay from Katniss, but the tributes from One are starting to catch on.

"I'm gonna get some water." I say to Finnick and he nods.

I head to the lounge area and grab a water bottle. I sit back on the couch and close my eyes. I can feel a thumping in my ears I just want to go to sleep.

I hear the door open and don't bother to open my eyes.

"Annie." I hear Finnick say.

"Yes?"

"You okay?"

"I just." I don't want to say it because I'm afraid I will offend him. "I just wanted to be alone for a few minutes."

"Okay." Finnick says he doesn't sound upset. I open my eyes and he doesn't look it either. He smiles. "I love you." He says and walks over towards me. He kisses my cheek. "I will see you soon."

"I love you too Finnick."

I say and he leaves the room.

I sigh and lie down on the couch pressing a pillow to my chest.

_I want to go home. _I think to myself.

Maybe if I click my heels together and think it hard enough I will end up there.

I sigh.

Finnick is my little of home. Whenever I'm with him I have that same feeling. I feel relaxed.

I head back out to the common area with my water bottle and sit down on Finnick's lap, not bothering to gasps at the suddenness of it but soon doesn't care. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean on his chest.

"You okay?" He whispers.

I nod.

"Okay." He says and kisses the top of my head.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply. I know if I was at home I would fall asleep but I can't.

"AHHHHHHH!" I hear a blood curdling scream and then a cannon.

My grasp around Finnick tightens.

"You're okay." He whispers and strokes my hair. My breathing is uneven and I feel like crying but can't for some reason. Finnick keeps stroking my hair until I feel better. Well, as good as I can feel while being locked in a room and forced to watch kids fight to the death.

I open my eyes and see they are showing Katniss lying in the mud.

"Is she dying." I whisper.

Finnick follows my gaze.

"Maybe. She is probably dehydrated." He kisses my forehead.

"Too bad I liked her."

"Me too." Finnick says.

However Katniss finds water that is a little down the way. I feel happy for her. I want her or the twelve year old to win. I know that won't be likely though. The odds aren't really in their favor.

Day turns to night and most of the tributes are sleep. Suddenly a wall of smoke appears around Katniss and the careers.

"Fire." I whisper.

They all wake up and start to run in the opposite direction. Fireballs are thrown at them.

"Are they bringing them together?" I ask.

"Probably." He says and rubs my back.

"The smoke could kill them alone."

Finnick nods.

A fire ball comes at Katniss and it hits her leg. She doesn't scream though maybe so people won't find her. The careers are close.

Katniss rushes to climb a tree which I'm surprised by because she is badly burned.

"There she is!" Cato shouts.

I close my eyes not wanting to see them kill her. I focus on Finnick's breathing and nothing else.

I hear them encouraging Cato to kill her. I try to lean closer into Finnick but I can't because I'm as close as physically possible.

"It's okay Annie." Finnick whisper and kisses my hair line.

"Okay." I whisper.

I feel like crying again but, then I hear Katniss.

"How's everything with you?"" She taunts them and I open my eyes from confusion. She is looking down at them pleased.

"What is she doing?" I whisper.

"Annie it's gravity." Finnick says.

"Huh?" I say still confused.

"She's lighter than they are. They probably won't be able to reach her."

"You think." I whisper.

Finnick nods.

"Okay." I say and lean my head back onto his chest."

"Well enough." Cato says with a smile. "Yourself?"

"A bit warm for my taste. The airs better up here why don't you come up?"

"Stupid girl!" I hear echo throughout the hive. It sounds like Haymitch and he has every right to be angry. I guess he didn't think the same thing Finnick did.

"I think I will." Cato says with a smiles.

"Take this." Glimmer says. She hands him the bow and arrows and Katniss looks furious.

"You think that is her weapon of choice?" I whisper.

"With the look on her face I would say yes."

I nod.

Katniss is glaring at Peeta but he is looking away. Probably on purpose.

"No, I'll do better with my sword." Cato grins devilishly.

Cato tries again and again but doesn't make it up. He tries to shoot her with the arrows but misses. He probably couldn't hit the side of a barn in broad daylight.

They start to argue on what to do.

"Just let her stay up there." Peeta practically shouts. They look at him confused. I think Cato is debating to kill him right now. "It's not like she's going anywhere. We can get her in the morning."

"Someone start a fire." Cato growls.

They draw sticks to see who gets to keep watch and Rachel draws the short stick.

They lie down and I see Glimmer snuggle up to Cato. She must have a crush or something. Either that or they had private time when they were alone. Although tributes aren't supposed to talk with one another the careers don't really have to follow those rules.

I'm about to lean back into Finnick's chest when the screen shifts to that twelve year old girl who is an adjacent tree. Katniss looks happy to see her but also confused because she is pointing at something. They show what appears to be wasps nest. Enough stings from those and you could die.

I close my eyes and lean back into Finnick who runs his fingers up and down my spine.

Katniss might live another day. She just has to use that weapon correctly.

**A/N: The chapters might be slow for this arch because I want to check with the book to make sure I'm getting it right! I had the same problem when writing this arc in my other story. Okay thanks for reading y'all are the best!**


	109. Chapter 109

**Chapter 109**

"Annie can you stand up?" I hear Finnick say.

I look up at him confused.

"My legs are starting to go numb." He says.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I say.

"It's okay. It's not because you're you know-

"Finnick I wasn't thinking that I have probably been sitting on your lap for hours."

"Okay." He says.

I roll a chair over so I can sit next to him.

The screen starts to fade out and they show Caesar Flickermen instead.

"That nest does not hold ordinary bees. They hold trackerjackers. For those of you who don't know trackerjackers are engineered from the Capitol and if stung they produce powerful hallucinations and if exposed enough death." He says and the screen fades back to the live feed.

Katniss is looking up at the tree twirling a knife in her hand. It looks like she is thinking hard about this. She climbs up to nest.

"Be careful." I whisper. I don't want her to get stung or fall.

She starts to saw when the anthem plays. They won't be able to hear her then but, she probably won't be able to cut all the way through it is a very thick and wide branch. She stops when the anthem stops playing. She heads back to her little space. I notice she has been given a gift from Haymitch. She opens it and it looks like medication, probably for her burns.

"Hey Annie." I hear Finnick say.

"Yes?" I say.

"You okay?" He asks.

I nod.

"You okay sweetie?" I ask.

He rubs his hands together in that motion where I know he isn't. I grab his hand and take him to the lounge. We sit on the couch and I brush hair out of his face.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I don't know." He says softly.

"Finnick you're lying." I say gently.

"I don't know Annie. I have this hole in my heart. It's like a black hole that is sucking all the good things in it. I want it to stop Annie." He whispers.

"I can help you with that Finnick." I say and kiss his lips. "I love you and I will help fill the hole in your heart. I will make you feel better because you deserve that Finnick. You deserve someone to take care of you. Okay?" I say.

He nods.

"Okay." He whispers.

"I love you." I say.

He hugs me.

"I love you too."

I rub his back.

"Shhh. You're okay." I whisper over and over again.

He eventually leans his head in the crook of my neck.

"You're okay." I say one more time

We hug for a long time. We only stop because of the chorus of screams coming from the tv screen.

I let go of him and look at the screen. Katniss has dropped the nest and it has split open on the ground like an easter egg.

I can tell Katniss got stung because her limbs are twitching.

The careers and Peeta are running frantically.

"To lake! To the lake!" Someone shouts.

Peeta, Marvel, Cato, and Clove get away but Glimmer and Rachel have a swirl of trackerjackers around them.

Rachel manages to get away but I doubt she will get to the water. I doubt she will live much longer.

Glimmer falls to the ground screaming and starts to shake uncontrollably. I wonder if this is how I looked on the train.

Once Glimmer is out Katniss climbs down the tree and heads to her little pool of water.

The careers and Peeta start to head back. Maybe for their supplies or maybe to see if Glimmer or Rachel are alive. I'm assuming the former.

Katniss has a strange realization on her face and gets out of the water and stumbles. I think she is moving as fast as she can but, where is she going? It looks like she is going back to the tree.

"Where do you think she is going?" I ask Finnick.

I look at him. He isn't looking at the screen.

"You're okay." I say.

"I want to go home." He whispers.

"We will be soon. Besides I don't think Rachel will be alive much longer. We will be able to leave the hive and won't have to watch as much. Okay?" I say and he just nods. He reaches for my hand which I take.

I hear a cannon and assume it is Glimmer because we aren't being told to leave.

Katniss is looking at her strangely. She let's out a groaning noise and takes the bow and arrows.

I hear another cannon.

"District 4 eliminated." I hear a robotic voice. The lights start to flash.

"Let's go." I say and hold Finnick's hand as we walk to the elevator. It starts to take us down probably so we can socialize with the victors that also have dead tributes.

Finnick keeps drawing small circles on my hand with his thumb.

I look at the screen in the elevator.

"She's still there!" I hear Cato shout.

Katniss puts her arrow up but she is wobbly and sets points it down. She's too disoriented.

Peeta gets to the clearing first weapon raised but he lowers it when he sees it is Katniss.

"What are you doing here!" Peeta says frantically. "Are you mad!"

The elevator doors open and we head to the area that resembles a cafeteria. Finnick and I sit at a table. I look at the screens the sound is off so I can't tell what Peeta is saying to Katniss but, it looks like he is trying to shoo her away. Katniss looks confused. Peeta pushes her away. They show Cato coming into the clearing and Katniss finally takes the hint and leaves. Cato is shouting at Peeta and then slashes his leg. It's deep and he is bleeding fast he is going to die.

"Annie." I hear Finnick whisper. I turn to him and smile.

"Yes."

"Can we… can we go somewhere else? Away from." He motions towards the screens.

"Okay." I nod.

We stand up and head to the more isolated area where the screens are more obstructed. We don't really bother with the other victors.

"How long do we have to stay?" I ask because I notice not all the victors are here.

"Usually until the drugs wear off." He says.

"How long will that be?" I ask

"Couple of hours a day. I don't know." He says and puts his hands over his face.

"Finnick what's wrong?" I ask.

"I dunno." He whispers.

I look at him. He has that dead look in his eyes. They're glazed over. I've only seen this look in his eyes one other time. When he was in the hospital right after he tried to kill himself. Sad, scared, confused.

"Finnick it's okay. You're okay. I'm here with you right now. I will always be here."

He looks at me.

"Okay?" I say.

"Okay." He whispers. He leans his head on my shoulder and closes his eyes. He keeps squeezing and unsqueezing my hand.

I look back at the screens to see what is going on. I don't know why I'm so invested this year. I think it's because I want someone to win. I think it is because she volunteered. I have respect for her. I know I'm not that brave.

I look over at Finnick and see his face is all scrunched up. I smooth his hair and kiss his cheek.

"I love you." I whisper and his face muscles relax.

I turn back to the screen and see Katniss pass out.


	110. Chapter 110

**A/N: wowzeers a hundred and ten chapters thank to everyone who has stuck with this story. I really do love every reader and wish I could give you all a hug.**

**Also did anyone else see the new mockingjay trailer? It looked so good. Can't it be November 21st already?**

**Chapter 110**

Finnick and I have been in the 'socializing room' for a few hours. I haven't really been watching the screen. I'm too worried about Finnick.

I've caught some glimpses and Katniss and the twelve year old have teamed up. I just hope they don't stay together for long. I don't want them to kill each other.

My body is starting to feel tired which means the drugs are wearing off. We should be able to go up to the suite. Unless they want us to fall asleep here.

"Finnick." I whisper in his ear and kiss his cheek.

He opens his eyes and looks at me. He still has that glassy look in his eyes.

"Yes?" He says.

"I think we can go upstairs now." I say.

"Probably." He says.

We head to the elevator. When we reach our suite we head straight to bed.

My eyes are starting to get drowsy. Finnick's too.

"I love you." I hear Finnick mumble before his eyes close and he finds sleep. I close my eyes too and also find sleep.

* * *

I open my eyes and see it has only been a few hours but I know I won't be able to fall back asleep.

Instead, I reach for the remote and can't belief what I am about to do. I am going to watch the Hunger Games... willingly. I'm too invested in this Katniss girl.

I put it on mute so I don't wake Finnick. Although with the effects of the drugs I think it would be impossible to wake someone.

I turn on the captions so I can at least hear what they are saying. They are showing Katniss and Rue. The last thing I saw was them teaming up.

They are talking about what happened when Katniss was out.

"The careers got everything down by the lake. They're strong too." Rue says.

"We're strong too. Just in a different way." Katniss says.

"You are. You can shoot. What can I do?" Rue asks.

"You can feed yourself. Can they?" Katniss asks.

_No._ I think to myself. Careers rely too much on the supplies the gamemakers give them. When they aren't given any they usually die and a different District wins.

"They don't need to. They have all those, supplies." Rue says.

"Say they didn't. Say the supplies were gone. How long would they last? I mean it's the Hunger Games right?" Katniss asks.

"But Katniss they're not hungry." Rue says.

"No they're not. That's the problem." Katniss pauses. "I think we're going to have to fix that Rue." Katniss says.

I wonder what kind of plan they will make to get rid of the supplies. They can't just take it from them. There are too many supplies. There are too many careers also.

I lay back down next to Finnick and stroke his hair.

"I love you." I whisper.

I look to the screen and most of the tributes are sleeping so I decide to watch Finnick instead. He breathes in then out. I love watching his chest rise and fall. I have no idea why... it's a strange thing to love.

"Why is the tv on Annie?" I hear Finnick croak out in a few hours.

"I… I wanted to see that Katniss girl. I want her to win." I mutter.

Finnick rolls over so he can see my face.

"You shouldn't get your hopes up too much Annie." His says. His voice is still thick from sleep.

"I know but I can hope right?"

Finnick smiles.

"Yes."

"Besides I can close my eyes when… you know."

Finnick nods.

"I do know."

"Finnick?" I say.

"Yes."

"Are you… okay."

"How can such an easy question have such a complex answer." He smiles.

"Finnick." I say.

"What does okay even mean?" He asks.

"Please don't get all philosophical on me Finnick."

"Sorry. Can we just avoid that question for awhile."

"Okay." I say confused.

"Just know... I love you Annie." He strokes my face. "Always have. Always will." He leans in and kisses me.

"Always." I say.

"Always." He says back and kisses me.

I watch the games and see that Katniss and Rue have come up with a plan. They want to draw the careers away from the supplies by lighting fires. That's the easy part though. They still don't know how to get rid of the supplies.

Neither of them know that a tribute dug up the bombs and reactivated them. If Katniss could somehow figure that out she could blow them up. However that would be very noticeable. She would also have to figure it out.

I kiss Finnick's cheek.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says and smiles.

I swallow hard.

"I think I need a glass of water." I say.

"Okay." He says and runs his fingers through my hair.

"Do you want something Finnick?" I ask him.

"Nah. The bitter taste." He says.

"Oh right." I say almost forgetting the side effects of the drugs wearing off. "I'll be right back."

"Such the dramatic Annie. You're just going to the kitchen." He teases.

I roll my eyes and stand up. I leave the room.

I hear the elevator ding and assume it is Luna. It could be Mags but it is rather late. I get a bad feeling in my stomach though something doesn't feel right.

I feel a tug on my arm and my glass shatters to the floor. I'm being dragged somewhere. It's dark so I can't see. I don't ask either because I'm afraid.

We stop in a room that is still dark.

After a few minutes I hear footsteps on cold hard ground.

"Miss. Cresta." I hear President Snow say.

I almost want to shout 'What now'

"President Snow." I say dryly.

"I want something from you Miss. Cresta."

"What?" I ask worried that my fate is finally like Finnick's.

"Not what you are thinking." He says.

"Then what do you want?" I whisper.

"I want you to leave Finnick alone. He is getting confused. You must leave him alone."

"No. I can't. I won't. Especially since…"

"He tried to kill himself _again_ I know everything Annie." He smiles causing a shiver to run up my spine. "I think you have something to do with that."

I scoff.

"Well you're crazy if you think I will leave Finnick alone. Especially now. I need him and he needs me."

"Love is such a delicate thing isn't it?" He smiles.

"What?" I ask confused and angry.

"It's the greatest thing you can find. The greatest thing you can treasure. However, love comes at a cost Miss. Cresta. Would you like to know what it is?"

I don't answer.

"It's the easiest thing to use against you."

"You can't kill me." I shout. "And you need Finnick for your spoils. Your bluff isn't going to work." I say angrily.

President Snow smiles.

"I never said anything about you." He says and screens light up. They show Jason, Marci, Pearl, Lana, and my mom.

"If you don't do what I say... they will die Miss. Cresta. We don't want that do we."

It feels like the wind has been knocked out of me. I can't leave Finnick alone when he is suicidal but I can't have all these people die. I'm not stupid enough to believe this is a bluff.

"I hate you!" I shout but he has already left.

"I hate you." I whimper this time. I sink to my knees and I'm taken back to the suite.


	111. Chapter 111

**Chapter 111**

I don't know how to tell Finnick about what Snow just told me. I don't want to. I don't think Snow meant I has to leave him alone right away. I think he meant when we got home.

It doesn't matter what he meant because I can't leave Finnick alone. I never want to... but Finnick is in a delicate state once again. I don't mind. I like taking care of Finnick. It does make me worry more so than usual though.

I don't want anyone to get hurt but if I leave Finnick alone I will be hurting him. I remember how he looked when I stopped talking to him after being brought home from solitary confinement. He didn't look okay. It is the same type of situation. However I don't want my family to get hurt either.

Is this one of those choices I have to choose who I love more? I can't do that. I don't want to know the answer. I don't know how I will figure out this answer.

The way Snow talked made it seem like Snow wants Finnick to die. But that doesn't make any sense. Not just because he uses Finnick to earn money. But because he told Finnick the next time he felt suicidal, he should make a hangmans knot to kill himself.

I wonder…

* * *

I head back to the room.

"Finnick." I smile. He is sitting up on the bed and smiling.

"That was a long time for a glass of water."

"Well I needed the purest of water for my lips." I smile and get back in bed.

"Of course you do Annie Cresta." He smiles. I can tell he doesn't believe me but he probably doesn't care.

Finnick wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Hmmm." He says. He sounds tired. The drugs are probably not all out of his system. They aren't from mine either then but... I don't feel tired.

I start talking because I want to see if what I'm thinking is true. That Snow wants Finnick dead for some strange reason.

"I was just wondering where you got it." I whisper barely getting the words out.

"Got what?" He asks through a yawn.

"The death serum."

He sighs.

"Why?" He says and I can tell he is angry.

"I'm just… I'm just curious."

"Some last minute client gave it to me…as a gift."

"You don't think that is strange?"

He shrugs.

"I've been given lots of things."

"But why would they give you something that could kill."

He shrugs.

"Maybe they thought I wanted to kill someone."

I look at him strangely.

"Annie, why are you looking at me like that?" He says.

"I just… I need to… I need to tell you something."

"Okay." Finnick says more alert than before.

"I… I got told that I should stay away from you."

He snorts.

"Annie you can be funny at times."

"Finnick I'm not kidding. When I got my water Snow he… he told me to stay away from you or else people are gonna die."

"Annie it was just a nightmare." He says and smooths my hair.

"No it wasn't." I say angrily

"Annie he can't do that because then he won't own me anymore."

"What about Marci and Jason?"

"They're not you." He says softly. He knows who he loves more. I'm at the top of the list. Behind his sister. Behind his brother. Behind the people he grew up with. He loves me the most. My throat goes dry at thought.

"Don't get me wrong Annie I love them but… I love you a little more."

"Oh." I pause. "Say you had to save one of us. Only one. Who would you choose?"

He pauses maybe he is actually considering this.

"If I had to choose?"

I nod.

"I'd choose me."

"Finnick then we would all be dead. Including you." I say confused.

"Well... I don't want to see a world without you, Jason, or Marci but, I don't want all of you dead either." He pauses. "I don't know who it would be but, I think it would be you or Marci."

"Why not Jason?" I ask confused.

"He's older. He got to live a little longer."

"I'm the same age as him Finnick."

"I meant if it was between him and Marci. I know he would chose her. too So he wouldn't be offended or anything. I don't want you to go spreading this around."

"Why would I tell someone this?" I ask confused.

"I don't know." He says.

"Do you think I go around sharing all your secrets Finnick Odair?" I smile.

"No, because I don't tell you my secrets." He smiles.

I know he is kidding but it is the truth. There is so much Finnick is hiding from me. I know he will never tell me though. He will only tell me when the secret is already out. I wonder what it could be.

"I know." I smile and kiss him. I like this feeling of his lips against mine. I almost never want him to stop... almost. I break the kiss and lean back on his chest. He moves his hand to my hair. He starts maing motion where I know he is worried.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"You wouldn't leave me alone if Snow asked you that, would you?"

I open my mouth to talk but he continues on.

"I mean... I know it was a nightmare but, you wouldn't leave me alone right? Because I need you Annie. I always do... but, it's different now. You wouldn't leave if I needed you right? I mean I don't think you're that mean Annie. I know you kind of did it before but, this is different. You know I love you and don't care what happens to you or whatever. I just... Annie." He says. I wonder if this is what's like inside his head. This does just sound like lots of thoughts spilling out together.

I don't know what to say because I don't know the answer. I know it wasn't a nightmare either. I do have to figure out what I'm going to do.

"I mean Annie... I know my answer. I just told you what I would do if I had to choose. You know too though right? I mean...

"Finnick I don't know. I've never thought about it... and I don't want to. I don't want to give up someone I love for another."

"But, if you had to... between your mom, me, and Lana. Who would it be?"

"I don't know." I say and can feel tears form in my eyes. "I don't want anyone to die. I don't think I would be able to choose."

"Annie you asked me the same question and I knew right away." He says angrily.

"I know." I whisper and a few tears fall from my eyes. "I don't know how to go about this because I can't live without any of you. I would also feel guilty for not being able to save everyone."

"You can never save anyone Annie." He says frustrated.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Well... good thing it was only a nightmare then." He kisses my temple. "I can't live without you Annie. That's why I choose you. Can you live without me?" He whispers.

_No _I think to myself. I don't say it out loud though. I don't think Finnick was expecting an answer.

I look back to the television and see Katniss has come up with a plan to get the careers away from the supplies.

Katniss knew what to do if someone she loved was about to be sent off to their death. She saved them even though she knew she would probably die. I couldn't do that. Just like I couldn't choose between the people I love. I know I will have to though. I can't have anyone die. I **can't** have anyone die.


	112. Chapter 112

**Chapter 112**

Katniss' plan to get the careers away from their supplies is smart. Although I can tell she doesn't know how to get rid of the supplies.

Her and Rue decided to make fires to lure the careers away from the supplies. They have at least four fires. I'm thinking they both know the careers will figure out this is some sort of trap or distraction. None the less it is still a good plan.

Katniss leaves and Rue heads back to the first fire spot.

It takes Katniss an hour and a half before she reaches the campsite. She reaches it and sees the careers are badly injured from the trackerjacker venom. She is also looking confused about the set up of their supplies.

The tribute from Three figured out how to active the mines again. He proved himself to the careers by reactivating them to protect their supplies. I doubt he will be able to stay with them for long though.

Rue lights the first fire and it doesn't take the careers long to notice. An argument breaks out on what to do. They eventually decide they should find where the smoke is coming from. Before they leave Cato makes it clear that he gets to kill Katniss.

I shiver at the thought. I am watching this freely but still… I don't want to see anyone die and I don't want to listen to that kind of talk.

"You okay Annie?" I hear Finnick whisper.

I nod.

"Maybe we should turn this off." He motions towards the TV. "I think it will make everything better."

"I know it will." I whisper. Finnick got over the conversation of me not knowing who I would save if I had to choose pretty quickly. Or at least stopped talking about it. If we get in a fight, that is something he will keep in his back pocket. Finnick isn't that cynical though.

"Okay maybe." I whisper. "But I want to check every hour at least."

Finnick nods and turns off the tv.

He runs his fingers through my hair.

"I love you." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

"I love you too."

"I can't wait till we get home Annie." He whispers and strokes my hair.

"Me too." I say. I will be glad to get home but I still don't know what to tell Finnick.

"Yeah. I can play mini golf with you from that Annie gesture." He kisses my forehead.

"Yup. We can sit in the enchanted garden from the Finnick gesture." I say.

"I can see Marci and Jason."

"I can be with my mom."

"I can be away from the Capitol."

"_We_ can be away from the Capitol."

"Yes." He says. "You can make me feel better. Make me 'better'."

I smile.

"You're perfect Finnick. You're just a little lost right now."

He swallows hard and nods.

"I will always take care of you." I say barely getting the words out because I don't know if that will be true when we get home.

Finnick and I just hold onto one another. We end up falling asleep. My hopes of Katniss wining slowly disappearing.

* * *

I awaken and turn the tv on. Still on mute with the captions on. I see Katniss walking around. She seems pleased when she hears something.

The caption reads. _Music melody._ I wonder what that means. I want to know so I reach for the remote and turn it up only to five. I can hear birds singing a four note tune. Katniss is following it. I also notice that Rue has been singing this.

Rue trips and falls into a netting trap. I know how to make that trap. Probably anyone in District Four could make that trap in their sleep. I'm pretty sure before Rachel died she set those up. Seth couldn't do it because he died in the blood bath.

Rue starts to scream because she is trapped. She is probably assuming someone is close by. Someone is close by. She shouldn't be screaming though because it will just make it easier for you to find. I don't really have room to say anything there though. I screamed and cried for probably an hour after... it happened.

"Katniss! Katniss!" She screams.

Katniss gets into the clearing and finds Rue. I see in another camera angle the boy from One with a spear. He is close too. I hope Katniss gets there first.

"Annie. Annie. Annie." Finnick says frantically. "Annie why are you crying? Tell me what's wrong love."

I just point to the tv Finnick reaches for the remote and turns it off.

"You shouldn't be watching this Annie. We don't have to, and look what it's doing to you." He places hair behind my ear. Let's just do what we usually do and just spend time with each other."

I sniffle and am about to say something.

"I know you like this Katniss girl. I do too. But, it isn't worth watching people murdering each other. We can find out what happens to her at the recaps. Okay?" He asks. I know it isn't a question. He is telling me. I don't mind. He is right. I can just find out what happens to her during the recaps. I will probably just find out how she dies.

* * *

"Finnick, Annie! Get out here at once!" I hear Aries shout.

"It must be over." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"Probably."

I grab Finnick's hand and we head out to the main room.

"It was just marvelous wasn't it?" Aries says smiling.

"What was?" I ask confused.

"The end of the games you saw it didn't you? Please tell me you didn't just turn it off because you were crying." Aries says angrily.

"Actually Aries we were quite tired from the drugs they gave us. So if you don't mind I suggest you to lay off." Finnick says protectively.

"Alright... well that doesn't change the fact that you missed Hunger Games history!" He shouts with glee.

"What do you mean?" Finnick asks.

"Oh it was marvelous. They both would've died but instead they both won. They are truly in love. The greatest love story. Far better than whatever is going on between you."Aries smiles.

Finnick doesn't like this comment because I can feel him moving towards Aries. He wouldn't do anything but, still that doesn't change the fact that he is angry.

"Who are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"Why the victors Annie." He says baffled.

"You mean victor Aries." Finnick says still angry.

"No, no VICTORS!" Aries exclaims.

"You on something Aries? The would never allow two victors." Finnick says annoyed. He is right. There is only supposed to be one. Only one can live those are the laws.

"No." He sighs and shakes his head. "I don't want to ruin anything. You'll see when the recaps are on. Trust me it will be worth the wait." He smiles and starts to walk off.

"Aries wait." I say. Finnick looks at me strangely.

"Yes?" Aries asks happily.

"Who won? I mean what District." I ask.

"12. It was Katniss and Peeta." He squeals like child and then walks off.

"She won." I whisper but Finnick is looking off in the distance.

"Finnick." I say and rub his back.

"What?" He asks confused.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah… just thinking about something."

"About what?" I ask.

"About how this will effect the curve." He says. He is still thinking about something because his voice is holding no emotion.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"There's never been two winners before."

"Yeah…"

He looks me dead in the eyes.

"There's never been two winners before." He says again. I get a chill down my spine this time. He is right but, I still don't understand what he means effect the curve. I don't think anything will happen. I mean I don't know why two of them won. I'm sure this was the intention for this years games, because no one would beat the system. Or could they? Could they?

**A/N: Don't worry they will see the final fight, the berries, the cave, the feast. I feel like I'm forgetting something… if I figure it out they will see that too. They will see it all at the recaps. Thanks for reading!**


	113. Chapter 113

**Chapter 113**

I feel a rough shaking on my shoulder. It kind of hurts.

"Annie please wake up." I hear Finnick whimper.

I bolt up at the sound of his voice.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I sit up.

"I needed you." He whispers. "I needed you." He says again.

I hug him and rub his back.

"I'm right here Finnick." I whisper into his chest.

He swallows hard.

"That's good."

"Did you have a nightmare?" I ask.

I think he nods.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"I… I… I just had this dream." He swallows hard.

"You don't have to tell me." I say gently.

"No I need to. It will probably help."

"Okay." I say and pull my face from his chest so I can look at him. He was crying. I wonder how long he was awake before he woke me up. I have figured out that he usually sits by himself for awhile before he wakes me up.

It's silent for a long time.

"Okay Annie it went something like this-"

He tells me his gruesome nightmare that ultimately ended with me dying in his arms and then he tried to kill himself but he woke up before that happened.

There's an old wives' tale that if you die in your own dream you will soon die in real life. I don't know if this is true but I usually wake up in my dreams before I can die. I don't think there is any definitive proof that you will die but it is something scary to think about.

"Finnick it's okay. You're okay." I say and wrap my arms tightly around him.

"Annie?" He whispers after awhile.

"Yes?" I say.

"Can… can… I…" he clears throat.

"What?" I ask.

"Can I kiss you…" he pauses. "Please." He whispers.

I smile. This whole asking to kiss me thing is still annoying but he is trying to make me feel comfortable. I think it is more awkward than anything.

"Yes. You can kiss me." He does it was really only a peck. I think that is all he wanted. He just wanted some comfort.

"I love you Finnick. I'm not dead. You're safe and nothing bad is going to happen to us. Okay?"

He swallows hard and a long time passes before I hear "Okay."

* * *

"Time to leave! Time for you to see how they won!" Aries shouts with joy.

Mags didn't watch but Luna did. I'm sure if we asked she would tell us but I figured we could just see for ourselves.

I think they were pretty hurt because it took a while after the games ended before the final interview.

"You alright Annie?" Finnick whispers as we head down to the elevator.

I squeeze his hand and smile.

He kisses my cheek.

"Okay." He says.

The elevator stops and we head to the main room. I can hear the screams of excitement already.

"Where do you want to sit?" Finnick asks surprising me. He usually just leads me somewhere and it is usually in the back.

I shrug.

"Wherever is fine." I say. He nods and leads us to a place that is closer than we usually are, but it gives us a good view of the recap screens. Which is good because we will actually be paying attention this year.

He leans and whispers.

"This okay?" He asks

I nod.

"Okay good." He smiles.

I look around and notice we are here earlier than normal.

I hear a loud banging noise and see it is Haymitch running into a door. I wonder why he is out here. He should be backstage with Peeta and Katniss.

I lean my head on Finnick's shoulder.

"You okay?" I ask him.

He nods.

"Good." I say,

Everyone files in. I see Talia and she has a dead look in her eyes. She sits down in the first chair she is near and twirls her hair. Blake sits next to her shortly after. He is talking but I don't think she is listening. She just keeps twirling her hair.

The lights start to dim and Caesar starts with the cheesy opening statements.

He then starts to interview them. They are asking how Katniss felt when she saved Peeta. How Peeta felt when they kissed in the cave. It sounds like they love one another, maybe they do.

"Let's see it all again, the love story of the newest victors."

Before this starts I know they edited it to make it look a certain way so I won't get the same feeling as I would've if I watched it live. Something about this final interview makes me think it is going to have some romantic love story.

The last thing I saw was Rue dying. So I don't really pay attention until then. They don't show Katniss crying or anything. Which I'm sure she did. They cut it out. They didn't want anyone to see that.

I shake my head. I hate that they don't show how the tributes are actually humane.

They must've cut a decent amount of stuff out because tributes are dead but haven't showed how they died. I hear a gong coming from the screen and then a voice.

"There's been a rule change in the games! Under the new rule both tributes from the same district will be declared winner if they are the last two alive."

"That's how they won." I whisper. I turn to Finnick. "See nothing special happened Finnick." I whisper.

"Do you really believe that Annie?" He says back.

I nod.

"You can't beat these games Finnick."

I turn back to the screen but then I hear Finnick.

"You're right no one has beaten these games."

I nod but then he adds in a very serious voice. The voice that always makes me shiver. The voice, I'm assuming, he uses on people he does not like. He has used this voice with Cynthia.

"Yet."

I want to argue with him but don't bother. He will see I'm right when these recaps are over.

Although what if Finnick is right… what if they did somehow beat these games. Truly beat them.

I feel as if someone has shoved my mouth with cotton. I get the feeling nothing good is going to come of this. I get the feeling that this will have consequences. I shiver thinking President Snow blowing up all of District 12 like 13 just because they beat him.

Now that would cause a ripple effect. But this might too. In a good way.


	114. Chapter 114

**Chapter 114**

After the announcement they show Katniss walking around trying to find Peeta. It's edited to make it look like she found him in minutes but, I'm sure that was not the case. It could've been days before she found him.

From what I'm seeing from the footage Peeta was probably the one who needed the medical attention. He has a deep gash on his leg. His leg has bled a lot and it is infected. He is dying. I look at him on the stage. He looks normal right now. Which I'm glad. My eyes linger over his once hurt leg. It has been replaced. He lost his leg from these 'games.'

_At least he is alive._ I think to myself.

Katniss starts taking care of Peeta and multiple awws burst in certain moments. I must say I am captivated by this as well but, for different reason but still. After Katniss seems satisfied with the wound they start to head to a cave. Again what must have been hours has been edited into minutes. I wonder why they just don't show it all again. I'm sure people would love that. Besides, they do show reruns all the time.

"What's wrong?" I ask because I can feel Finnick's body stiffen next to me.

"This is wrong." He whispers.

I look at him strangely.

"Finnick-

"I mean what she is doing." He motions towards the stage.

I look back at the stage.

"Katniss?" I ask confused.

He nods.

"Why?"

"That poor kid on stage thinks he actually loves her. That's mean."

"Finnick she was doing it to stay alive. I'm sure you would charm the pants off someone to do the same."

Finnick looks at me with a smirk.

"What?" I ask confused.

"I already do." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"It's a figure of speech Finnick."

"Still it isn't that far from the truth." He mutters.

"Finnick-

"I know. It's alright Annie." He smiles and leans in to whisper. "I would kiss you but, I can't here."

I smile.

"You will be able to soon."

"Are you sure Annie because you don't-

"Finnick you can kiss me all you want." I say.

Another aww erupts from the crowd and I turn back to the screen. Finnick starts to draw circles on my hand. He is trying to distract himself. He always does this when he is thinking about something hard. What does he find so fascinating about this, besides two winners it is the normal Hunger Games.

They are still showing Katniss taking care of Peeta. I will admit they do have very amusing banter.

"Katniss." Peeta whispers.

Katniss gets closer to him and moves the hair from his eyes.

"Thanks for finding me." Peeta smiles.

"You would have found me if you could." Katniss says.

"If I don't make it back-

"Don't talk like that." Katniss says.

"I know but in case I don't-

"No Peeta I don't even want to discuss it." Katniss says.

"But I-"

Peeta gets cut off by Katniss kissing and more awes erupt and my face turns into a smile. Even though it is fake I, like most girls, love that romance stuff.

They make the announcement of the feast.

"No." Peeta says immediately. "You can't risk your life for me."

"Who said I was going?" Katniss says.

"You're such a bad lair, Katniss. Never gamble cards. You'll lose your last coin."

"Well you can't stop me!" Katniss shouts in anger.

"I can follow you, not all the way but if I shout your name someone will find me and kill me. Be dead for sure." Peeta says.

"You won't get a hundred feet from here on that leg." Katniss says.

"I can drag myself."

"So I'm just supposed to sit here and wait for you to die!"

"I promise I won't die if you promise not to go." He says.

"Then do what I say." She says.

"Agreed." He says.

"Wait here." She says. I don't know where she is going.

Katniss leaves the cave and finds sleep medicine that Haymitch gave her.

After Peeta is out Katniss starts to leave to head to the feast. She gets to the destination and sees the four backpacks which are all different sizes.

Katniss goes in and gets to her pack but she is soon hit with a knife and slammed to the ground by the girl from two. I think her name was Clove.

"Where's your little boyfriend, District Twelve, still hanging on?" Clove taunts.

"He's out there right now hunting." Katniss lies.

"Liar." Clove says and rams her arm into Katniss' windpipe. "He's gotta be nearly dead, Cato knows where he cut him. You've probably got him in some tree while you try to keep him alive. What's in the pack, the medicine for lover boy? Too bad he will never get it." She smiles

Clove opens her jacket and starts to pick through her knives. She settles for a small one.

"I promised Cato if he let me have you, I'd give the audience a good show." She smiles and starts to cut Katniss' cheek. If I was watching live I would think this would be the end for Katniss but she somehow managed to get out of this.

"Forget it 12. We're going to kill you. Just like we did your pathetic little ally what was her name? The one who hopped around in the trees? Rue? Well first Rue, then you, then nature will take it's course with lover boy."

Right as Clove is about to cut Katniss the male from Eleven pulls Clove off Katniss violently. I wonder why

"What did you do to that little girl? You kill her?" He shouts. It's probably Rue's District partner. I wonder if they knew one another.

"No! No! It wasn't me!" Which I don't think is true.

"You said her name. I heard you. You kill her?" He shouts.

Katniss is still lying on the ground I think from shock.

"Did you cut her up like you were going to cut up this girl here?" He yells.

"No! No!" Clove screams when Thresh pick up a large rock.

Thresh brings the rock down on her head. The cannon doesn't go off but she will die soon. Thresh turns to Katniss and she looks scared. Thresh doesn't attack her he starts talking to her instead.

"What did she mean? About Rue being your ally?" Thresh barks.

Katniss looks confused as to why he is doing this. I am too.

"We teamed up. Blew up the supplies. I tried to save her, I did. But he got there first. District One."

"You kill him?" He demands.

"Yes I killed him and buried her in flowers and I sang her to sleep."

"To sleep?" Thresh says.

"To death. I sang until she died. Your district they sent me bread." A few tears roll down her face. "Just do it fast, okay Thresh." She requests.

He looks at her strangely and lowers the rock and sighs.

"Just this one time, I let you go. For that little girl. You and me we're even then. No more owed. You understand?"

She nods. She makes it to the cave and injects Peeta with the medicine. She then passes out.

When she wakes up Peeta is furious but is easily won over after a few kisses.

Katniss tells him everything.

"Didn't want to owe you anything?" Peeta says puzzled.

"Yes. I don't expect you to understand it. You've always had enough. But if you lived in the Seam, I wouldn't have to explain." She says. I guess they have class systems in District 12 that explains why Peeta looks better fed than Katniss.

"Don't try I'm obviously to dim to get it." Peeta says sarcastically. He has gotten much better since the medication.

"It's like the bread. How can I never seem to get over owing you for that?" She says.

_Bread?_ I think confused.

"What from when we were kids? I think we can let that too. I mean you just brought me back from the dead." He smiles but Katniss shakes her head.

"You didn't know me. We had never spoken. Besides, it's the first gift that's always the hardest to pay back. I wouldn't even have been here to do it if you hadn't helped me then." I'm assuming she would've starved to death considering it was food. "Why did you anyways?" She asks curious.

"Why? you know why." Peeta says but Katniss shakes her head. "Haymitch said you would take a lot of convincing." I'm confused by what Peeta means but, I don't need to know.

"Peeta you said at the interview you had a crush on me forever. When did forever start?" Katniss asks.

"The first day of school I think. We were five. You had a red plaid dress and your hair, it was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed you out."

"Why?" She asks confused.

"He said 'see that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother but she ran off with a coal miner.'"

"You're making this up!" Katniss shouts.

"No." Peeta shakes his head. "True story. I said 'a coal miner? Why did she want to marry a coal miner if she could've had you.'" Peeta looks at Katniss. "He said 'because when he sings even the birds stop to listen.'"

"That's true. They do. I mean they did." Katniss says smiling. I'm guessing that means her father is dead.

"So that day at the music assembly the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She had you stand on a stool and had you sing for us." Peeta looks at her and smiles. "And I swear every bird outside the windows fell silent."

"Oh please." Katniss rolls her eyes.

"No it happened and right when your song ended. I knew just like your mom I was a goner." Peeta pauses. "Then for the next eleven years I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you."

"Without success." Katniss smiles.

Peeta nods.

"So in a way my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck."

My hand tightens around Finnick. My name being drawn is also a piece of luck too because if my name was never drawn I never would've met Finnick. The real him. My mouth goes dry wondering what Finnick would be like without me.

I lean my head on his shoulder.

"You okay?" He whispers.

I nod.

"I just love you."

"I love you too." Finnick whispers.

"You have an excellent memory." Katniss smiles.

"I remember everything about you." Peeta smiles and places a strand of hair behind her ear. "You weren't the one paying attention."

"I am now." She smiles.

"I don't have much competition here." Peeta says with a smile.

"You don't have much competition anywhere." She says and she leans in to kiss Peeta.

You can here lots of awwwws.

Theyn they show the fighting of Thresh and Cato. I guess they had to show it but, I don't like it. I close my eyes and Finnick pulls himself closer to him.

"It's okay Annie." He whispers and rubs my back.

I start humming to myself and focus on Finnick's hand on my back. I open my eyes and see Peeta and Katniss standing over a dead body.

I want to scream but don't I just move my head to Finnick's chest. I like this better because I can hear his breathing, hear his heart beating. After a few minutes I lift my head.

"Are you okay?" Finnick asks.

"Yes."

I look at the screen and apparently some berries killed the red headed girl.

"You recognized them?" Peeta asks already knowing the answer.

She nods.

"We call them nightlock."

"Even the name sounds deadly. I'm sorry Katniss I thought they were the same ones you had gathered."

She shrugs

"It just means we're one step closer to home."

"I'll get rid of the rest." He says and starts to collect them.

"Wait!" Katniss shouts and Peeta looks at her confused."Maybe Cato likes berries too." She smiles and so does Peeta.

They cut to the final fight and I rest my head back into Finnick's chest.

"It's okay." He whispers over and over again. I start drawing circles on his shirt.

"Go on! Shoot, and we both go down and you win. Go on. I'm dead anyways. I always was, right? I couldn't tell that until now. How's that, is that what they want?" I can still do this... I can still do this. One more kill. It's the only thing I know how to do, bringing pride to my district. Not that it matters."

This must be the other tribute. I'm surprised they let this make the recaps because they broke his brain. They made him see what we all do.

I don't look up to see how he dies. When the cannon blows I lift my head from Finnick's chest and smile knowing this is over now. They just need to be announced as victors. But they aren't instead an announcement is made.

"Greetings to the final tributes of the 74th Hunger Games. The early revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor."

Katniss doesn't waste a second to aim her arrow at Peeta. He doesn't look surprised by this. Katniss lowers the bow.

"No. Do it." Peeta says surprising me.

"I can't. I won't." Katniss says.

"Do it. Before they send those mutts back or something. I don't want to die like Cato." Peeta says. I guess that is how the other tribute died.

"Then you shoot me! You shoot me and go home and live with it!" Katniss shouts.

"You know I can't." He says but Katniss doesn't do anything. Peeta sighs. "Fine I'll go first anyway." He says and removes his bandages.

"No you can't kill yourself." Katniss says.

"Katniss, it's what I want." Peeta says.

"You're not leaving me here alone." Katniss says.

"Listen, we both know they have to have a victor. It can only be one of us. Please take it. For me." Peeta begs.

Katniss has a strange look on her face as Peeta says this. It looks like she is thinking really hard about something.

Katniss' hands go to the belt and pull out those berries that were meant for Cato.

_Did she… did she manipulate the system so they could both win?_ I think surprised.

Peeta grabs her hands before she can do it.

"I won't let you." He says.

"Trust me." She says and pours berries into their hands.

"On three?" Peeta asks.

"On three." She repeats.

"Ladies and gentlemen I am pleased to present the _victors_ of the 74th Hunger Games Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!"

They cut something out. I bet it didn't happen as smoothly as that. It was too off the cuff.

Caesar starts with the closing lines but I don't listen because I can feel Finnick's breath against my ear.

"I told you Annie." He says. It isn't like he usually does in a self entitled way. It's a sad way. He didn't want this to be true.

"You sure did." I whisper.


	115. Chapter 115

**Chapter 115**

We get home in a few days. Neither of us wanted to discuss that there are two victors. Finnick is still too busy thinking. He has that blank stare on his face which worries me.

I still told him about Snow and how he told me he was going to hurt everyone I loved. Finnick just brushed it off again. With everything Blake told me though it would be very easy to kill them. Finnick suggested something that I'm not exactly sure if it will work. He said if it would put my mind at ease they can stay in our house. It would make me feel better but, that also means Snow could just burn down our house or something.

I can't leave Finnick and I can't lose the ones I love... so I guess this is the best choice.

I'm heading into town to discuss it. My mom will say yes, but I don't know about Lana. She has a family and will probably want to stay with them. I don't think I will tell her. I will just see her everyday and make multiple phone calls. I'll be like a crazy ex-girlfriend.

"Finnick." I say gently and run my fingers through his hair.

"Yes?" He asks in that deadpan voice that makes me worry.

"Finnick." I say and he turns to me.

"I'm okay Annie. I'm just tired."

I nod.

"Okay." I say and kiss his forehead. "I was thinking of seeing my mom and Lana. Would you mind if I left to see them? Jason would take my place."

Finnick closed his eyes and nods.

"Sure." He says.

"Finnick you can say no if you want to. I understand."

He opens his eyes and smiles.

"I can't enable you forever. This will make you feel better." He kisses my cheek. "Besides, you do want to ask them to stay here."

I nod.

"Then you should go." He smiles.

Jason comes over within ten minutes and then I leave to head into town. There is a strange aura in the air. I wonder if it was like this all the time. I just didn't go into town.

I get to Lana's house and knock on the door. She opens it quickly.

"Annie." She smiles.

"Lana." I say and hug her.

"I missed you too." She says and I roll my eyes.

"I have to talk to you." I say and she drags me into her house. I want to tell her about Snow but, something else as well. I want to talk to her about those dreams. The ones with Finnick.

"Okay go." She says as we sit on the comfy maroon couch.

"When I was in the Capitol I kept having these dreams… nightmares really."

"You have had nightmares before."

I nod.

"These were different it wasn't being in the arena, drowning, locked in a room. It was…" I sigh and look at my hands.

"What is it Annie?" She asks gently.

I sigh.

"I have this dream with Finnick-

"If this gets dirty feel free to keep it yourself." She teases.

"That's the problem." I whisper.

"What?" She asks confused.

"I kind of have dreams where he is you know… sexually assaulting me."

"Oh." She says shocked.

"And I can't get them to go away."

"Does he know this?" She asks.

I nod.

"Okay so what… I don't know." She says frustrated and confused.

"It's so awkward Lana. He asks if it's okay to hold my hand."

"That is awkward."

"He also apologizes when he kisses me."

"Well he is being considerate. I mean Finnick knows this feeling."

"I guess. I don't think hand holding will lead to anything."

"Well he could grab them and you know... hold you down."

"Gee thanks." I mutter.

"Sorry."

"It's fine. I just… this is messing with my head. I mean it's fine when I kiss him but when his hands move to my waist." I shiver.

"Even if you're just standing."

I nod.

"Sorry I'm not good at advice like this."

"Because you've had it so easy." I tease.

She looks at the ground awkwardly.

"What's wrong?"

She looks up at me and raises her eyebrows.

"Lana after all your suitors? You-

"You're making me sound sluttly. Which I'm not. I've been kissed a lot but never this." She says calmly.

"I know you're not sluttly Lana."

"I know." She smiles.

"Really?"

She nods.

"Well.. my nickname in the Capitol is either crazy Cresta or innocent Annie. I'm not sure which I like more."

"Well you aren't crazy Annie, so I guess innocent wins." She smiles.

"How do I get him to stop asking to kiss me?"

"Tell him."

"I have but he still asks and has the puppy dog eyes when he realizes he didn't ask." I sigh. "This isn't even the worst thing though."

"I know Jason told me."

I nod.

"I was going to talk you about that too."

"I don't think I will be of much help." She says.

"Well, I just wanted to talk with someone."

She smiles.

"How does it make you feel?"

"Terrified."

Lana smiles sadly.

"You remember when we were little and we said we would always worry about our guys."

I nod but it's different now.

"Yeah, back then I was just worrying if I would be asked to go to the winter wonderland festival." I pause. "Now I'm worried that I'm going to die from Snow. Now I'm worried that my boyfriend will kill himself."

"Boyfriend." Lana scoffs.

"Well that's what he is."

"No. No Finnick is more like your husband."

I roll my eyes.

"We aren't married. Besides it's just a word."

"Yeah… but boyfriend sounds so casual."

I shrug.

"It's not like I can ever marry him."

"Annie-"

Before she can finish I hear the door open and see her parents come home.

"Hello Annie." Her father says. Who is tall and muscular. He doesn't look like Lana. He has dark hair and pale skin. She gets the sandy blond hair from her mom. Who is also sun kissed but she has blue eyes that are so light they look white.

"Hi." I say and look at them. "What's going on?" I ask because they look worried.

Lana looks at me and shrugs.

"You should go home to your mom Annie.." Lana's mother says gently and smiles.

Something isn't right.

I nod and then run out of their house. Mine -my mom's- is only four down.

"Mom! Mom!" I yell.

She comes rushing downstairs.

"Annie sweetie are you okay?" She asks and smooths my hair.

"I was with Lana and her parents made if seem like something bad is going to happen."

"It's okay sweetie." She kisses my forehead.

"That's not an answer." I say.

"Annie before you came home things stared to happen."

"What do you mean?"

"We should just stay inside until it is over."

"Until what is over?"

"People aren't as afraid anymore Annie." She says and leads me towards the sofa. We sit and I lean into her.

"So?" I ask confused.

"There are many deadly weapons in this world but fear is the deadliest of them all." She kisses my forehead. "Why did you never climb the tree in the back yard?"

"I'm afraid I'll fall and break my neck."

"You don't do it because you're afraid something bad might happen."

"Yeah so?"

"You can easily use that to control people."

"Mom-"

The phone rings and I jump. She kisses my forehead and goes to answer it. She's trying to stop the person talking on the phone. She can't get a full word in.

"Annie." She ends up shouting. I'm assuming the phone is for me. I'm assuming it is Finnick.

I go over to her and pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I say.

"Annie." I hear.

"What's wrong?" I ask him. Finnick sounds very upset. He's crying I can tell.

"Annie come home." I hear Finnick sob.

"Finnick what's wrong?" I ask worried.

"Come home. Come home."

"Finnick?" I say and then I don't hear anything. "Finnick? Hello?" I ask worried. I don't want him to hurt himself. Although myself, Jason, Marci, and Pearl are making sure that doesn't happen.

I hear a muffling sound and then another voice. Jason's.

"Annie?" He says.

"Yes?"

"Don't come back, not yet."

I hear Finnick's sobs of disapproval.

"What do you mean not yet?"

"Stay with you mom." He says firmly.

"But-

"Jason no she needs to be with me!" Finnick says in a sob like scream.

I hang up the phone and take it off the hook. I don't want to hear Finnick like that. It's not like how he is when he has a nightmare it's filled with so much pain. He's begging. That's how I imagine someone would sob if learning someone they loved died.

I see the phone blinking green indicating another call. I can imagine Finnick and Jason in our house. I shiver. I close my eyes and hit the button.

"Annie why did you hang up?" Finnick says angry.

"Finnick you're okay and everything is fine."

"But Annie-

The lights flicker then phone line goes dead. I hear sirens and something else. It sounds like screams maybe gunshots.

I hear the haunting words.

DISTRICT FOUR YOU ARE ON LOCKDOWN.


	116. Chapter 116

**Chapter 116**

Lockdown. I think.

"Annie sit next to me. You should stay away from the windows." My mom says gently.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Sit next to me." She says again.

I sigh and do.

"What's going on? Why are we on lockdown?"

"Annie I know you aren't that dense to not know anything."

"Are you suggesting that because there were two victors that people are starting to…" I trail off not knowing how to finish.

"Well there have never been two before and-

"You sound like Finnick." I mutter.

"It is a true statement." She says.

"It's the way you say it though. It's like you… you think something is going to happen."

"You aren't that naive Annie. She beat the games. People are thinking Katniss did this on purpose."

"She didn't-

"I know but, look at it from a different perspective. She volunteered. She got high training scores. She showed that she was capable of winning. Some might think this was her plan all along."

"Are you saying Katniss is some sort of vigilante? Taking consequences into her own hands because the rulers are corrupt. "

"No." She says and kisses my cheek. "I'm just saying. Even here Annie… people don't like it. People don't like feeling owned."

"They should talk to the victors then. They would know the true feeling of owned."

"Maybe." She says.

It's silent for awhile well… we aren't speaking. I can still hear a strange muffling sound outside.

"What's going on out there mom?" I whisper.

"Rebelling." She says casually.

"Why?" I whisper.

"There are more citizens here than peacekeepers Annie. Theoretically we could-

"I don't want to talk about this." I whisper. Theoretically if enough people got involved we probably could kill or at least capture all the peacekeepers. That won't solve anything though. They will just send more. I'm sure people are watching us here. People are always watching.

"Okay." She says.

I close my eyes and lean on her shoulder.

"Mom." I say.

"Yes?" She asks.

"When do you think this will be over with?" I ask.

"I don't know sweetie." She says and kisses the top of my head.

I can feel a tear drip down my cheek.

"I'm sure everything will be okay." She says.

"No it won't." I want to say but don't. "I hope he's alright." I whisper barely audible.

I know lots of people are probably dying right now. For a good cause to break free a little. I don't think that will happen though. I want it to though. I don't like feeling owned.

However I just want to know that Finnick is alright.

I'm a selfish person.

* * *

"Finnick!" I shout as I walk through the door.

"Annie I'm sure he's fine." I hear my mom say. She didn't want me to walk back alone. I didn't want to walk back alone. We were shut down for almost two weeks.

I wonder if people had enough food in their house. I'm sure no one would starve to death but you could go hungry. With all the stuff they are coating the food with maybe it will be a good thing.

Walking back to my house was… different. More peacekeepers, blood stains on some of the buildings, cries of agony, and the debris lying around it all made my stomach clench.

I don't want my mom going back home. She has stuff here because she stays with me whenever Finnick goes away. She is staying with me or at least in Finnick's house.

"Finnick! Finnick! Open the door. She's going to be back soon." I hear Jason shout as soon as I walk through the door. I also hear a banging noise.

I rush upstairs and hear it is coming from my bedroom.

"Finnick!" I hear again. Jason sounds worried. "Finnick open the door." He says again. "Or just say something." He says.

"Jason where's Finnick?"

"In the bathroom he locked himself in there twenty minutes ago."

I knock on the door with less force.

"Finnick. It's me open the door. Everything is alright. I'm alright." I say gently.

I wait a few minutes and then bang on the door.

"Finnick open up. Finnick you're making me worry."

I hear the door unlock and open it up.

I look around the bathroom and am confused.

"Annie." He says and hugs me tightly.

"Finnick what were you doing in here." I ask because there are words written all over the floor and mirror. It looks like a serial killers lair.

"Had to write it down."

"Are you okay?" I whisper.

He nods.

"Finnick." I say firmly.

"I didn't do anything." He whispers.

"Okay." I say.

He sniffles.

"Annie are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm fine nothing bad happened to me." I say.

He nods.

"What was it like?" He whispers.

"Huh?" I say confused.

"Out there, what did it look like?"

"How it does after a bloodbath except with peacekeepers."

"Oh." He says.

"Yeah." I say and kiss him. Finnick smiles and that puts my mind at ease a little bit.

"I should go make sure Marci and Gran are alright." Jason says.

"Okay." Finnick says and lets go of me.

"Jason wait." I say and follow him downstairs.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Was he okay?"

He nods.

"More or less. The longer this went on… the more emotional he got. He seemed relatively alight. He didn't try to hurt himself and I don't think he would've."

"Okay." I say.

"I really should go." He says worried. I would be worried to if I didn't know if my sister or grandmother were alright.

"Yeah." I say. He smile then leaves.

"Mom." I say who is still downstairs.

"Yes sweets?" She smiles.

"I don't want you to go back. I want you to stay here… I need you to stay here."

"Whatever you want Annie." She smiles. She walks over towards me and give me a hug. "Everything is going to be fine." She whispers and kisses my cheek.

I nod not really agreeing. I let go and head back upstairs to Finnick.

"Hey." He smiles.

"Hi." I say and sit next to him on the bed.

"You look tired." I say and he does. To be fair I am as well. Sleeping was different and not just because Finnick wasn't there. However he looks like he hasn't slept at all.

"I am. I couldn't sleep. I needed you." He whispers.

"I'm here now." I kiss his forehead. "You should try and sleep."

He nods and lies down. He holds me tightly. Within ten minutes he is asleep.

I doze on and off I wasn't that tired. I wasn't as tired as Finnick.

Finnick eventually wakes up. I tell him my mom is now staying with us. He doesn't have any problems with that.

"I love you." I smile.

"I love you too." He says and runs his fingers through my hair.

"I'm gonna go downstairs do you want to stay here?" I ask.

He nods.

"Still in that wake up mode." He says.

"I know."

"I know you know." He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"You're so silly." I say.

"I know." He says. I lean in and kiss him.

I head downstairs. I'm not down there for a minute when I hear a knocking on the door. My throat gets tight I wonder who would be knocking on my door.

I open it fearful, however I don't see anything. I notice a piece of paper taped to the back door.

I read it and am confused… until I look down.

I back away from the door and almost fall to my knees.

"FINNICK!" I scream. That scream I haven't in awhile. It's the same I did in the arena.

"FINNICKKK!" I scream again it sounds like I'm being tortured.

I can hear someone come downstairs.

"Annie what's-" He stops talking and closes the door and holds me. "It's okay Annie." He says.

"So much blood!" I sob.

"It's okay Annie I will get rid of it." I hear but can't stop crying. It brings back too many memories from the games. The games that still haunt my nightmares.

I grasp onto Finnick tightly and the piece of paper flutters to the floor.

The piece of paper that says:_You're Welcome - D_

I have a feeling Demetrius did this. What I don't understand is why he would kill Constantine. I don't understand why he left his dismembered head on my doorstep.


	117. Chapter 117

**Chapter 117**

I'm still crying I can't believe someone would throw a dismembered head on my door step. I feel like whoever did this was almost taunting me.

I'm ninety percent sure this was done by Demetrius I just need to know why. Looking for a peacekeeper right now would not be wise. It never would be, but now it would put out certain implications. Then again when someone leaves a head on your doorstep things change.

"Annie why don't you go in the garden while I take care of this." He kisses my forehead. "Okay?"

I swallow hard.

"This was on the front door." I say my voice is very thick. It is probably from the mucus in my throat. "I think it was that peacekeeper Demetrius because Constantine tried to kill me. He didn't like Constantine."

"Don't think of that now. I'll take care of it okay?" He kisses my forehead.

"Okay." I say and head to the garden. I feel better once I'm here. I smile still not believing Finnick pulled this off. I sit on the bench and pick one of the purple lilies.

"Why can't life be this beautiful." I whisper and lie on one of the benches. After awhile I hear the door slide open.

I sit up expecting Finnick but see Marci instead.

"Hi Marci. I'm glad you're alright."

"You too." She smiles.

"Finnick tell you to come out here?"

"No, not really. I saw the clean up and didn't want to look." She smiles and then sits next to me. "So this is the garden made for you?"

"You knew about that?"

She nods.

"He told everyone what he was doing. He said if he needed help… but I think he was just bragging." She smiles. "Although he was nervous."

"Why?" I ask confused.

"He was doing major changes to your house when he just moved in. He was worried you would hate it."

"I could never hate something Finnick makes for me."

She smiles.

"I told him something along those lines. Finnick says he has something big like this planned for my birthday. Jason and I are taking bets. I think he is going to decorate the house like it used to be. But Jason thinks he is going to buy me one of those cute little houses with a garden in the backyard. Anything would be nice. I really just want him here."

"I'm surprised Jason thinks he would give you something like that."

"Why?"

"Because he's letting you go a little."

"Yeah but I am turning eighteen so… maybe that's why?" She smiles

"Maybe."

She picks up one of the daisies and places it in her hair.

"I'm really glad you met my brother. I'm glad you made him feel important but most importantly," she turns towards me and smiles, "Annie I'm glad you never left."

I smile.

"I'm glad too and I'm glad he never left."

"Yeah he would never leave you. He makes sure you have everything you could ever need. He loves you. He still never shuts up about you. Right now I'm alright with that. It's nice to see that twinkle still in his eyes…especially now."

"Yeah he's still there and I'm glad I can see it." I smile and so does she.

It's silent for awhile.

"So you've got a boyfriend. What's Bryson like?" I ask. She has a nice aww smile. I wonder if that is how my face is when people ask me what Finnick means to me.

"He's the best. He makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world. Even though I know I'm not, its a nice feeling." She says.

"I understand but do Finnick and Jason like him?"

"Ughhh they're too protective Annie. I'm pretty sure Finnick pretty much implied that if he ever hurt me he would like kill him."

I scoff.

"I know he wouldn't but since he is a victor it's easy to believe." She smiles.

"And Jason?" I ask.

"He's more laid back but is very strict on when I should come home. They're like my parents Annie." She smiles and it looks like she is sad.

"Yeah."

"Even with Michael… they truly raised me and protected me for my whole life. I love them. I owe them so much." She smiles.

"You don't owe them anything Marci. They did it because they love you."

"I know. It's nothing I can ever repay and I'm okay with that. I like my life and I have them to thank for that."

"You should tell them this you know. I know Finnick would like to hear something like this especially now."

She smiles.

"I know. I was going to tell them together. I just wanted to be alone with them."

"Of course just let me know when so I can give that to you."

"I was thinking in a few days"

"Okay." I smile.

"Okay." She smiles.

* * *

I wake up doing a gasp like sob. My hand goes to my throat making sure it's still connected to my body.

"Annie are you okay?" Finnick asks while wrapping his arms around me.

"No. I still see his head on our front door step Finnick, on our little welcome mat." I breathe in and out.

"I know." He kisses my forehead. "Are you sure you don't want me to talk to Demetrius." I told him I thought it was Demetrius a few days ago. He said he should find and ask him but I said it wasn't necessary, really I didn't want him to leave.

"Won't that give bad implications?"

"The man cut off another mans head and left it on our front door." My grasp around him tightens. He kisses the top of my head. "I'm sorry."

"I just don't want people to think that we are on the wrong side."

"Annie I don't care. I want to find the person who did this."

"Okay." I whisper.

"Only if you will let me."

I smile.

"You know I will."

"Okay good." He kisses my forehead. "Let's go back to bed."

"Okay just don't let me go." I whisper.

"I never will." He says and kisses my cheek.

* * *

Finnick left awhile ago. I think to find Demetrius. I'm worried about this. For more than one reason.

I hear the door open and then footsteps. It's Finnick and he brought Demetrius with him.

"Finnick?" I say confused

"He wanted to see you."

"I'm only here for a minute. Yes I did kill Constantine. It was for my own reasons I thought you would want to know. I thought proof would be the best way to show you. But as Finnick pointed out it was a bit… extreme."

"Get to it Demetrius." Finnick barks.

"There's a war brewing it's right on the cusps of boiling over. You can't see the other districts but myself and the other higher ups can. I need you and Finnick to get people in control. If you don't, more will die. Get people to follow the rules and nothing bad will happen."

"There are no rules just demands." I say.

"Maybe, but if this doesn't get in control bad things are going to happen."

"Bad things happen everyday." I say.

"Not like this. I'm talking public executions. Besides, we all know what is going down tomorrow." He says and his eyes linger on Finnick. "We have citizens on our side too." He says and then leaves.

"What's he talking about Finnick?" I ask.

"There's going to be another uprising. Tomorrow." He says.

"Don't you think that's a little soon. One was just a few days ago and the district was shut down for two weeks

"It's to show they can't break us." He says gently.

"Everyone has a breaking point."

"That's true but they haven't found ours… yet." He says.

"Okay but I need you to stay with me." I whisper.

"Annie I will but I want to see Jason in the morning and if something goes down-

"Promise me you'll come back then."

"Of course I will." He says and kisses me. I just hope he is telling the truth.


	118. Chapter 118

**Chapter 118**

I feel Finnick running his fingers through my hair as I slowly wake up. I push him closer to my chest. I don't want to wake up yet. I don't want him to leave what with the plans of an uprising today. It makes me nervous that he won't come back.

"Annie." He whispers.

"What?" I whisper.

"I love you."

"Have you been waiting until I wake up to say that." I smile.

He kisses my temple.

"Of course."

I smile. Finnick can be such a romantic. I love that side to him. I love the cheesy side too. I love the serious side too. Oh hell I just love him.

"I love you too." I say and rest my head in the crook in his neck. "You're cold." I say noticing the goosebumps on his skin.

"You were enabling most of the covers." He scolds

"You could've gotten more or done something." I mutter.

"I'm okay. Besides I got to hold you close."

"You do that all the time Finnick."

"I know… but I had a reason this time."

"You already had one." I say. I can tell he is smiling. I don't need to see his face. I can just read his body language and tell.

"Mmh I was hoping you would say something else." He says.

"What would that be?" I ask intrigued.

"That I don't need a reason."

"I thought that part was obvious."

"Oh I see." He says.

I look up at him and smile.

"Can I-

I end up kissing him so he doesn't have to ask.

"I love you." I whisper as I lean back into his chest.

"We have been through this already Annie." He teases.

I roll my eyes.

"I love you too." He says.

"Why are you awake, could you not sleep?" I ask worried.

"I guess my body was just tired of sleep."

"I guess."

I draw circles on his back and Finnick's body shivers.

"I forgot." I say and move the covers more towards him.

"Thank you." He says.

"Why don't you just put on a hoodie or something?"

"Because then I would have to let go of you." He says and kisses my forehead.

"God you're corny."

He chuckles.

"I love it though. It's part of your Finnickness." I say.

"Finnickness?" He laughs.

"You know the things that make you, you. Just your personality it can't be described just like my Annieness."

Finnick kisses my cheek.

"You're so weird."

"Well you aren't what I would call normal."

"You're right I'm above normal I'm better than the average person." He says.

"So you're better than me?" I mutter into his chest.

He scoffs and I look up at him confused.

"No one can be better than you Annie Cresta. Not even if they tried."

I can feel myself blush.

"Same goes to you Finnick Odair." I say and he kisses the top of my head.

"I really love you." He says after awhile.

"I really love you too." I say.

We eventually get up. I like how… Finnick is right now. Usually in the morning if you speak to Finnick he will make some noise of disapproval but this… I like this Finnick. I like all of him but it is a bit nicer to have someone who is pleasant in the morning.

I start making breakfast as I hear Finnick fiddle with the coffee maker.

"It's not-

"Plugged in." He smirks.

"You knew?" I ask somewhat surprised because he bangs around on it every morning.

"I remember on most mornings." He smiles.

"Then why are you all overdramatic about it?"

"Because I know you like it." He smiles and so do I.

"Okay maybe a little but… I still think you're bluffing."

"Maybe I am maybe I'm not. You'll never know."

"You're right I never will."

"Why do you do it anyways?"

"Unplug it?" I ask and he nods.

"My kitchen caught on fire once because I forgot to unplug it."

"You're kidding and you call me clumsy?" He laughs.

"It was a problem with the circuiting it was pre Victors Village." I smile.

"Excuses excuses Cresta." He says. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He asks.

"Because you don't call me Cresta as often as you used to. I like that." I smile.

"Is that your form of pet name?"

I nod.

"It's the best one. You called me Cresta when I first fell in love with you."

"It's just your last name." He says confused.

I shake my head.

"No… not when you say it, it isn't."

"You're a strange person but I love you anyways."

"I love you too."

I smile and we eat breakfast.

"Annie." He says when we are almost finished.

"Yes." I say.

"Things are probably gonna happen soon."

I breathe in and out.

"It's okay." He says and kisses my cheek. "I should leave now if I want to see Jason before anything happens."

I nod.

"Nothing is supposed to happen until noon but this isn't exactly a stable thing." He says.

"I know." I say

"Okay I'm going to come back though just like I said." He smiles.

"I know." I say again.

He stands up and I walk him towards the door.

I kiss him so he doesn't have to ask.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too… Cresta."


	119. Chapter 119

**Chapter 119**

There's so much blood. I don't think I will be able to stop it.

"Stay with me." I whisper pushing a shirt to the wound.

I hear a strange gurgling noise. A thought creeps in my mind. One I don't like. That I won't be able to get the blood to stop.

* * *

**SOME TIME EARLIER**

* * *

I tap my fingers on the cool wood table.

"Annie I'm sure everything is going to be fine." My mom says. Finnick has only been gone for an hour but, that doesn't matter. I will still worry.

"I guess." I mutter not beveling it. I have a bad feeling knowing riots might happen soon and Finnick is out there. He could get hurt in the crossfire.

"Do you know why he wanted to see Jason." My Mom asks.

Come to think of it I never did ask him, maybe because I subconsciously knew he wouldn't tell me. I don't really care why he went to see his brother. That's his brother and that is a good enough reason for me.

I shake my head.

"No. I didn't ask."

"Okay." She says.

When it gets around eleven I start to hear noises outside.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Annie I'm sure-

"I need to go outside, so I can see him as soon as he gets back." I say.

"Annie-

"Please mom. I don't think anyone is going to come to Victors Village." I say. I doubt they will. I think everyone knows the victors are off limits. But, since the people are rebelling they might think all the victors like the games. That we liked winning. That we like killing people.

I shiver at the thought. I push it from my mind because I want to be outside. I want to see Finnick as soon as he gets home and he will come home.

"Okay." She whispers. "Do you want me to sit with you?" She asks.

"No I can do it by myself." I say.

"Alright, but please don't stay out there too long sweets."

"Okay, I don't really want to anyways." I say truthfully. I think something has started to happen and although I don't think anyone is going to come over here. I don't want to risk it.

I sit outside for probably an hour when I hear a large boom in the distance.

I jump and my stomach starts to form many knots.

"Finnick where are you?" I whisper.

I head back inside when I hear footsteps on the gravel. I can't see anyone so I think they are hiding. Maybe for a reason.

"Sweetie is everything okay?" My mom asks worried when I come back inside.

"I just thought I heard something so I wanted to come in."

She nods and smiles.

"Okay. I'm sure he will come back soon."

"Do you think I could call him?" I ask hopeful.

"It doesn't hurt to try." She smiles.

I head to the phone and look at the phone list to find Finnick's house in town. Technically Jason and Marci live there. Pearl lives at Finnick's house i the village and everyone seems happy with this.

I dial the number and it rings and rings and rings.

I sigh knowing the chances of someone picking up goes down with each ring.

"Hello?" I hear.

"Finnick?" I ask although it doesn't sound like him.

"He's here Annie, don't worry about it."

"Jason?" I ask.

"That's me." He says and I can tell he is smiling.

"Can I talk to Finnick… please."

"Of course."

"Annie." I hear a minute later.

"Are you okay Finnick?" I ask.

"Yes I was going to call you actually. I'm not going to come home until things are… more peaceful."

"That could be awhile." I whisper.

"I know but I would rather do this than go out when it is open fire."

"I understand."

"Make sure to stay inside though, apparently there are sniper citizens all over. Even there."

_The gravel rustling. So someone was there._ I think.

"Okay, I'll stay inside. I might even venture into the creepy basement." I smile. Finnick and I both think the basement in the houses of Victors Village are disturbingly creepy. So we avoid them at all costs.

"I don't think you need to be that extreme but if it will make you feel better then that is an excellent idea." He teases.

"Finnick I was kidding relax."

"I know." He says.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." I say.

The phone clicks off. I wonder why there are snipers to think they are citizens makes me feel sick. I know we are a career district but this isn't right. This is violence that isn't for some 'game' this is real life. They all just like killing.

"Mom." I say.

"Yes?" She asks

"Why do you think people like this?"

"Like what?" She asks confused.

"Violence. Killing. That is inhumane. You shouldn't like killing someone."

"Annie these people were just raised to like it. I know it isn't right but-

"There had to be a first generation who liked this. There had to be a way it all started I-

"Annie it probably started seventy four years ago." She says gently.

"You're saying the Hunger Games started this?"

She nods.

"It makes sense." She says. It does but, it had to start before that.

"I know but… I feel like there is a different reason."

"Annie don't look into this. You will never figure out the answer. This has been happening for a long time. Before Panem and probably before that."

"Okay." I say knowing she is right.

"Humans are considered animals maybe there still is that animal instinct to kill."

"That's not normal. That's not right."

"I know." She says and kisses my forehead.

* * *

I pick at the table but stop when I hear a groan like scream. It's close It's in this area.

"Sweetie you should stay inside." My mom says knowing I want to go out there.

I hear the scream again and it is almost right outside the house.

"I can't. Someone out there needs help." I say. Someone does and that someone could be Finnick.

"Annie-"

I open the door ignoring my mom but I instantly wish I hadn't.


	120. Chapter 120

**Chapter 120**

I open the door and see Marci on her knees she is holding her side tightly. Her hand is stained with crimson. Blood. So much blood. A head was on my door step a few days ago with blood, guts, and God knows what else just sitting in front of my house. But this is worse. This is Marci. Sweet innocent Marci.

"Marci." I say.

"Help me." She whimpers and falls to the pavement.

I hear something happening outside. I wonder if one of those snipers got her. I hear a sliding noise and then see someone else. A male. Bryson.

"Come here Marci." He says and picks her up.

"Get her inside." I say and he does. I think he was going to anyways.

"Annie- what's wrong?" She asks as Bryson place Marci on the couch.

"Mom I need your help." I ask although I'm sure she knew that already.

"Okay?" She says confused.

"What do you know about treating wounds." I say.

I hear a loud whimper.

"Annie who is that in there?" My mom whispers.

"Marci." I say. She has met my mom before. Marci comes over here sometimes when Finnick is gone. I like the company and I think Marci likes talking to someone who cares about Finnick as much as she does.

"Okay." She says and gets somethings probably to clean it. I haven't gotten a good look at the wound but I know just a band aid won't do the trick.

I kneel down next to her on the couch. Bryson is stroking her hair and whispering something to her.

"Annie. Where's Finnick?" She cries. It surprises me that she doesn't ask where Jason is. Then again this is Finnick's house and she knows he shouldn't be left alone.

"He went to see Jason."

"Why are they at the house? Why didn't they tell me?" She says.

"I don't know. They will tell you when they get back." I say. "Okay?"

"Okay." She whispers.

My mom cuts away her shirt.

"You need you to move your hand so I can see the wound Marci." My mom says gently.

She does and it looks like Marci was stabbed with something.

"Marci what happened?" I ask.

"I was walking back here to talk to Finnick and then see Gran. I thought I had enough time." She closes her eyes and breathes in and out. "Before anything happened. I was walking in Victors Village and then something hit me."

"This." Bryson says and pulls out a throwing knife from his pocket. It is covered in her blood. They have these in the arena. They are meant to kill. I drop it on the floor letting it stain my carpet.

"I see." I whisper.

My mom is still looking at the wound. I take a glance and feel like throwing up. There's so much blood coming out of her. The wound is so deep.

"Annie here." My mom says and puts something in my hand. "Put pressure on the wound. Try and get the bleeding to stop." She says.

I swallow hard.

There's so much blood. I don't think I will be able to stop it.

"Stay with me." I whisper more for my benefit. I gently push the shirt to her wound.

I hear a strange gurgling noise. A thought creeps in my mind. One I don't like. That I won't be able to get the blood to stop.

"Marci?" Bryson says worried.

"I'm here." She says and intertwines her fingers with his.

"Okay." He says and kisses her forehead which is lined with sweat.

The shirt is soaked through within a minute.

"Everything's going to be okay Marci. They are going to make you better. Then you will see your brothers." Bryson says between kisses.

"Okay." Marci whispers.

My mom comes back with medical supplies that I wasn't aware we had in the house.

"We need to close the wound because it is too deep." My mom explains.

"Okay." Marci whimpers.

"How are you gonna do that?" Bryson asks. I must say I am interested as well.

"Needle and thread." My mom whispers.

"Won't that hurt?" Marci says and coughs.

"It's the only thing we can do... for now." My mom smiles. "It shouldn't hurt that badly." She says.

Good thing my mother knows how to sew. She would always fix things when I was little. It was mostly patch work but then she branched out into knitting and embroidering. Who knew something so causal could be used for something like this.

"I fell tired." Marci says. Her eyelids are heavy too.

"No, no stay awake." I say gently.

"But I'm so tired." She whispers.

"Keep her talking." I say to Bryson and stand up. I'm afraid if she passes out she won't wake up. I know it's because she lost a lot of blood. The average human body only has six liters. That sounds like a lot but it's not. When Finnick lost a couple he was messed up but that was also for different reasons. He did almost die. He was in better circumstances than she is now. He could get to a hospital and right now she can't.

"Do you got this mo?." I ask. She nods totally focused.

Bryson keeps talking to Marci and kissing her forehead and my mom starts to close the wound. I head to the phone. I need to try and get Jason and Finnick here in case…

The phone rings but then gets cut off. I do this three more times and then it is just dead. The district is going to lockdown or something. Maybe public executions like Demetrius said.

All of that doesn't matter right now. All that matters is the seventeen year old girl bleeding -possibly to death- on my couch.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out.

She's not going to die. I think more than once. Her brothers are going to see her again. Alive.


	121. Chapter 121

**Chapter 121**

I go back to the living room and see Marci is almost stitched all the way. However, my mothers hands are stained red.

"There." My mom says and ties off the thread. She wipes away the blood on Marci's stomach. It looks a little better. But Marci looks ghostly white. It isn't making me feel much better.

My mom motions her head and I go to the kitchen knowing she wants to talk to me alone.

"I'm going to get a bandage for that." She tells Marci and follows me to the kitchen.

"Did you get a hold of them?" She asks. Knowing I probably tried to call Finnick and Jason.

"No the phones have been cut off or something. Why? Is it bad?"

"It could be. I'm not a doctor but, I don't know if that knife hit anything. If it did removing the knife is only going to…"

"What?" I ask concerned.

"Kill her faster."

"Oh." I whisper. "But she's gonna be okay right?"

"I don't know Annie." She says. At least she is being honest.

My mom gets Marci a bandage and a glass of water. After an hour I think she is going to be alright. I head to the phone again. Finnick and Jason should know what happened. But, I don't want to worry them if it's nothing. But it could be something.

I pick up the phone and hear a loud annoying static. It hurts my ears. I put it down immediately.

I hear Marci coughing and then whimper like she is in a decent amount of pain.

"Annie." I hear coming from the living room.

I walk over and see Marci covered in her own blood.

"Why am I all red?" She ask. Her face is contorted in pain. She has blood running down her chin to her neck. Her white shirt is now stained red. I think she threw up blood. "Why isn't it throw up?" She asks and coughs again.

"Marci." Bryson says and runs his fingers through her hair.

"It's blood right?" She cries.

He nods hesitantly.

Marci starts crying.

"It's okay Marci." He says and holds her hand.

"Don't lie!" She shouts. I know she isn't talking about him loving her.

"I'm not lying Marci. You're-

He gets cut off by Marci coughing up more blood.

"Get her to sit up. She could choke on her own blood if she is lying down." My mom says gently.

"What does it matter?" She says with her chin trembling. "I'm dead anyways. Right?" She whispers.

The room feels very small and very quiet. I'm pretty sure this is true. The fact that she knows this is worse. She knows she is going to die. Marci is going to die.

There's really no good response to that so we sit in an uncomfortable silence. After what seems like an entirety Bryson speaks up.

"I love you Marci." He whispers.

"I love you too." She says with a tear rolling down her cheek. It mixes with the blood. Which is covering her face. It is running down her chin like she is a wild animal or vampire. She's neither. I want to run away. Maybe scream and cry. I don't want to see anyone else die. Especially Marci. Sweet, kind, innocent Marci.

I can tell she is crying. Bryson is soothing her. It isn't really helping. I don't think anything is going to help.

"Annie." She says. She sounds tired which isn't a good sign.

"Yes." I say trying not to cry.

"Did you call them?" She whimpers.

"I tried Marci." Knowing she is talking about Finnick and Jason. I could leave and get Pearl right now but I'm afraid we would get hurt.

"You remember what I said the other day?" She asks.

I nod.

"Tell them for me."

I nod.

"Okay." I say trying not to cry.

"I also want you to tell them I love them and I think they're stupid." She smiles as tears roll down her cheeks. "But I really want them to know that I'm glad they took care of me, basically raised me. Without them I would be a different person. Maybe someone terrible like Michael and that I kept my innocent so long because of them. I really like that." I think there is more but she is starting to sound tired and her breathing is ragged. She probably can't say anything else.

"Of course." I say trying to remember every word and trying to recall everything she told me the other day.

"I'm scared." She whispers I don't know to whom. She could just be announcing it.

"Don't be." Bryson says and kisses her getting her blood on his lips. He doesn't care and honestly I wouldn't either.

I go away a little so they can say their goodbyes.

I come back and I can tell she is almost gone.

She has fear in her eyes but sadness also. No one wants to die. It's not fair that she has to. Like this. Or at all.

I kiss her forehead and smooth her light brown hair.

"Goodbye." I say and can feel a tear roll down my cheek.

She makes a gurgling noise. Her eyes close. Her breathing is shallow...until it stops. I feel as if a cannon should go off.

Marci Odair died today she was only seventeen. She was a good person so selfless, kind, animated, and full of life. To see that light fade from her eyes was heartbreaking.

She didn't die in the Hunger Games she died because of the screwed up world we live in.

**A/N: I just thought I should mention that I always had this in mind for Marci. I just didn't come up with it on a whim. I've had multiple versions of this chapter written for a long while. I just thought it would be realistic if someone close to them died.**

**I'm considering doing a spin off just about Marci's life and I mean a long multi chapter story. It probably won't happen right a****way. I also have been considering doing spin offs about Blake and Talia. These stories will be way off in the distant future, if I write them at all.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	122. Chapter 122

**Chapter 122**

"We should clean her up." I say woodenly.

"Annie I-

"Finnick and Jason can't see her like this." I say looking at her. She has blood all over her face. Especially around her mouth. It looks like she is a crazed cannibal. I don't want Jason or Finnick to see her like this.

"Okay. I guess you're right." My mom says.

Bryson is still holding her hand.

"Bryson." I say gently.

"Mmmh?" He says not taking his eyes off of her.

"You should get cleaned up too." I say. My voice sounds strange. It doesn't even sound like my voice. It just sounds deadpan. It sounds broken. He has her blood on his hands. He also has a cut on his forehead that I didn't notice before. I was probably too busy worrying about Marci.

He swallows hard and nods. He lets go of her hand and heads to the kitchen where my Mom is looking at is cut. It is deep. The blood was running down his forehead. I can tell by how it dried on his face.

I get a cloth and start to clean the blood from Marci's mouth.

_Keep it together Annie._ I think to myself.

I get her cleaned up. She still has blood in her hair and shirt. I don't think I will be able to take care of that but, at least she doesn't look like a cannibal.

I smooth her light brown hair. I guess there must be an Odair gene to be so good looking. Finnick is, Jason is, and Marci is… was.

"Annie." I hear Bryson say.

"Yes?" I say.

"How are we… what should we…" I look towards him. He is rubbing the back of his neck. He must be uncomfortable. "I mean Finnick, Jason, Pearl. What are we supposed to tell them?" He asks.

My mouth goes dry. I have been wondering that too. There's no good way to say someone is dead. No matter how you word it they will still be dead. Although if the blow is gentle it probably helps.

I remember when my Mom told me my Dad was dead. I was around thirteen. She sat me down and basically said he got in an accident and wouldn't come home. Then she said the two words no one wants to hear. He died. It took me awhile to swallow the fact that he was dead. I ignored it for a while. It didn't matter if I ignored it or not. He was still dead. Just like Marci. I can ignore telling people she's dead but it won't change the fact that she _is_ dead. Just thinking that makes me want to vomit.

"I'll tell them." I say.

"But I was with her-

"They've known me longer. Besides, I think if we tell Pearl first she could just…

"Tell Finnick and Jason." He says. He sounds angry.

"What's wrong with that?" I ask.

"Annie we should tell them because-

"It doesn't matter who tells them. They just need to know. It will ultimately have the same outcome." My Mom says gently.

* * *

In a few days the District is back to normal or at least I think it is. The phones have started working again. I called Pearl as soon as they did. I just told her to come over immediately. I want to tell her before she walks into the room so she doesn't just see her granddaughter dead on the couch.

I hear the door knock and walk towards it impossibly slow. Bryson left so he could make sure his parents were okay. So it is just my Mom, me, and Marci's body. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she is dead.

I finally get to the door and open it.

"Annie. Is everything alright?" Pearl asks. She sounds worried. My vague call probably did make it sound like I needed help.

"No." I say truthfully. If everything was alright Marci wouldn't be dead.

"What's wrong? Is it Finnick?" She ask worried. It is obvious why her mind would go there.

"It's not Finnick." I say as she walks into they foyer. "It's Marci." I say.

"I was worried. She said she would stop by but then all that crazy stuff happened." Pearl looks at me strangely. "Just tell me she's alright."

My throat goes dry again. I feel like I'm going to barf everywhere.

"Do you know where she is?" She asks.

"She is in the living room but… she's… she got hurt and there was so much blood…" Pearl starts walking towards the living room. I'm pretty sure she figured it out. She gets to the entry of the living room. "She died." I say. Pearl can already see Mari's dead body.

Pearl is looking at Marci's lifeless body strangely as she walks over to her.

"Oh Marci." She whispers and sits next to her. She sheds a few tears and holds Marci's hand.

The room seems so small. Pearl isn't saying anything. She is just looking at Marci and holding her hand.

"Annie." She says.

"Yes."

"Do Jason and Finnick know about this."

I shake my head.

"No. I don't even know if they're okay."

She nods.

"Hopefully they are." Pearl whispers.

"Yeah." I say. I didn't even think of that. They might be like Marci. Lying dead somewhere. I push that thought far far from my mind. One person I care about is all I can handle right now.

"Besides, when they found out their parents died that didn't go over very well. Which is why I should tell them."

"I'm sure you know what to say." I say awkwardly.

She nods and it is silent.

"How did this happen?" She asks after awhile.

I say what Bryson told me just not in as much detail. I talk about How she got hit by a knife. How we tried to save her. How she started throwing up blood and then finally when she died.

"Hopefully it wasn't too painful." Pearl whispers.

"It didn't seem to be." I say.

"Marci like Finnick is also good at hiding things." She pauses. "But if you're dying I doubt you would try to hide it." She says sadly.

"Not if you're trying to make the ones you love feel better." I say.

She nods.

I hope Marci wasn't in unbearable pain because that would be terrible. To be in pain for the last few moments of your life.

I shiver thinking of all the dead tributes.

"You know Annie. I have buried my my daughter, son in-law, and my own son." She turns to me. "That's not how it's supposed to work. A parent shouldn't bury their children it's supposed to be the other way around. They all died before their time. Especially Marci." It's quite for a long time because I don't know what to say. "It's not supposed to be like this and yet it is." I still don't know what to say. "There's no such thing as a painless death." She says. That is true even if you don't hurt when you die. The people around you, the people you love... they all hurt.

Pain like any other emotion will always be there. You can't get rid of it even though you desperately want to.


	123. Chapter 123

**Chapter 123**

"You should try and call Jason and Finnick." Pearl says after what seems like forever.

I nod and head towards the phone. It rings and rings and I feel like something bad has happen to them as well, but then I hear his voice.

"Annie?" Finnick says.

"Finnick you need to come home. You need to come home. Now." I say before he can ask questions.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" He asks worried.

"You just need to come home. Bring Jason too." I say.

"Okay but you're scaring me Annie."

"I know, but you just need to come home. You'll understand then."

"Okay." He says.

"I love you." I say.

"Love you too." He says and the line goes dead.

I walk back towards the living room.

"Are they coming?" Pearl asks and I nod.

I hear the stairs creek and know it is my mother.

"Here Annie." She says and gives me a sweatshirt. "You look cold."

"Thanks." I say and put it on.

"Do either of you need something?" She asks eyeing Pearl. They've never met.

"I think we're okay Mom." I say.

"Okay." She says and kisses my forehead. "I love you sweets."

"I love you too." I say.

* * *

It seems like it has been twenty years and not the twenty minutes it takes to walk to Victors Village.

"We should go outside Annie." Pearl says.

"Okay." I say and follow her.

"It will be easier to stop them before they go inside." She says.

I nod.

The shouldn't just walk into the house and find their sister dead on the couch. Telling them will make it easier... well a little better.

We sit down on the porch swing.

"Finnick told me he fixed this." She says as she runs her hands up and down the chain.

"He did. It took him awhile." I smile remembering how utterly out of his element he was. He did it to make me happy. "It was the first thing he did after he felt well enough when he… got hurt."

She nods.

"I see." She says.

In a few minutes I see Jason and Finnick at the entrance of Victors Village. They both look fine which makes me feel better.

"Annie." Finnick says and kisses my cheek. "You're okay." He says and pulls back. "What's wrong?" He asks worried. He must be able to tell something is not right.

"I-

"Jason, Finnick I need to talk with you." Pearl says gently.

"What's going on?" Jason asks.

"Just listen." She says.

Pearl starts to tell what happened to Marci. I can tell by Jason's body language that he knows that the blow is coming. He knows that Pearl is going to say Marci died. However, Finnick cannot. Either that or he doesn't want to see it.

"Where is she?" Finnick demands.

"She's inside." Pearl says.

Finnick says and is about to charge in there. I put my hands on his chest.

"Finnick, she died." I say barely audible.

He shakes his head.

"No Annie I'm sure-

"She's right Finnick, Marci died. She's gone." She say gently and puts her hand on his should. Finnick shoves it away and shakes his head.

"You're wrong." He says

"Finnick she died, the wound was too deep and there was too much blood. I-

Finnick just pushes us away and walks inside. We all head back inside to the living room. I see Finnick kneeling next to her.

"No." He whispers and kisses her forehead. "Wake up. Wake up." He whimpers.

"Finnick." I say gently.

He runs his fingers through her hair. I don't know what he is waiting for.

"Wake up! Wake up!" He shouts and starts shaking her.

"Finnick." Pearl says gently.

"Marci, wake up." He whimpers.

I sit next to him and rub his back.

He keeps repeating this. He eventually stops and presses her to his chest. He strokes her hair and starts crying.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"Why is this happening?" He says and looks at us

"I don't know." Jason says.

"She was only seventeen." I wipe away some of his tears.

"I know." Jason says.

"Annie I know we watch children die every year and some of them we mentor… but this is different because this is Marci. This is my sister" He says and kisses her forehead. "She wasn't supposed to get hurt." He whimpers.

"I know." I say.

Finnick holds her for awhile and keeps stroking her hair. I think he is hoping that she will 'wake up.'

It's quite for a long time

"You said _he_ was with her?" Finnick says abruptly. In that voice he only uses very rarely. The voice that makes me stop dead in my tracks. He isn't shouting but he is angry. It's the voice he used with Cynthia. The voice that sounds like a threat. A voice that almost says I'm going to hurt you.

"Who?" Pearl asks.

"Bryson." He says. I don't know why he would ask this Pearl flat out said it. Maybe he just wanted to say it.

"From what Annie told me, yes it sounds like Bryson was with her." Pearl says gently.

"Maybe he should suffer as well-

"Finnick he tried." I say.

"If he tried Marci wouldn't be dead! Bryson her_ boyfriend."_

"Finnick-" Pearl interrupts.

"I should've known he was never good enough. He's the reason she is dead-

"Finnick." Pearl says gently.

"He should be dead. I-

"Finnick come with me now!" Pearl practically shouts at him. I hope Finnick wasn't going to say I should kill him. Finnick would never do that. He would never kill no matter how grief stricken he was. Although that doesn't mean he wouldn't hurt him. This isn't Bryson's fault though. I don't even know who to blame.

I remember Blake's words.

_"What would you do right now if Finnick died?" He asks abruptly._

_"What?"_

_"Like he fell down and he was just dead."_

_"I don't know scream and cry."_

_"Okay what would you do probably a month later?"_

_"I don't know be depressed?"_

_"Meaning you would sit around all day not doing anything."_

_"I guess. Where are you going with this?" I ask._

_"They say when someone dies the way you deal with it shows the true person you are." He says._

Does that mean Finnick's true self is a person who can't control their rage.

Finnick and Pearl have left. I don't know where but I don't like it.

"It's not what you're thinking Annie." I hear Jason say. His voice is thick from tears. "He was like this when our parents died. Well not immediately. Michael did almost beat him to death." He says. I remember Jason telling me Michael did almost beat him to death. I believe he said if Finnick was alone he would've killed him. Michael was terrible. Point blank period.

"He wanted to hurt people but when the moment came he couldn't do it. He wouldn't have done it anyways. Finnick is many things but not a murderer." He pauses "Unless he had to." He adds quickly because he is a murderer, so am I technically.

"I know."

"People react to things differently. With Finnick it's usually anger and then depression. However since Finnick is suicidal that means he is already depressed. I don't know how this is going to play out but… I think he needs you most." He says.

"I knew that part already." I pause. "So... is he just going to turn into some rage monster?"

"Just don't take anything he says to heart for a couple of weeks. He can't help it. He does need you Annie. More than anyone else. Especially now."

That is as good as a yes.

"I know." I say truthfully. I already knew that. I think Jason meant he is going to need me more than he already did. I don't mind. Mostly because I know I'm like that.

"What about you?" I ask.

"Everyone does Annie. Die I mean. I'm sure you knew that." He smiles sadly. "I don't like that fact but no one can live forever. That's what makes life so great. I'm sad that she is dead. I am." He swallows hard and the tears are building up in his eyes. "But there was no way of stopping this. I'm not saying it was her time or some other BS to make the whole ordeal sound more poetic. All I'm saying is she was going to die anyways." He looks towards the window. "I wish it wasn't so soon."

It's silent and he is staring outside.

"It's a terrible day for rain." He says.

I look out the window. The sky is a crisp blue with no clouds in sight. It takes me a while to figure out that he wasn't talking about the weather.

I walk towards him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah. It really is." I say.

The raindrops aren't falling from the skies but, from our eyes. Something tells me it is going to be raining for a long time.


	124. Chapter 124

**Chapter 124**

I get up and notice something immediately. No Finnick.

"Finnick! Finnick!" I shout running around the house. I don't know what Pearl said or did but when he came back he seemed… calmer.

I get downstairs and see him in the kitchen.

"Finnick didn't you hear me? Are you okay?" I ask gently.

He turns towards me and I see his hands; they are bloody.

"What happened to your hands?" I ask worried.

"Dropped a glass. Tried to clean it up." He whimpers.

"It's okay." I say and kiss his cheek. "I can fix it. You should just sit down." I say and lead him to one of the bar stools.

"Let me get you a cloth." I say and kiss his forehead. He nods.

I look at the cut. I don't see any glass in his hand which is good.

"Not so bad." I say and bandage him up. I kiss his hand. "There. That's better." I say.

He nods.

I place toast in front of him but he just picks at it.

"You should eat Finnick." I say gently.

He shrugs.

"What should I wear?" He asks looking into his orange juice.

"I don't think it matters what you wear Finnick." I say. Marci's funeral is today. I've only been to my father's. I don't really remember it. I do know I wore a black dress. I tried to wear that dress again but it just reminded me of that day.

"Aren't there dress codes for these types of things."

"I don't think Marci will get offended." I say.

He nods. I'm just surprised he is willingly to go to this.

"Finnick." I say gently.

"Mmmh." He says.

"Bryson... he's going to be there."

Finnick makes a strange sighing like growl noise.

"Finnick I know-

"He better not say anything. At least not while I'm around."

I look at him sadly.

"Okay." I say and kiss his cheek. It's not exactly the answer I wanted but it's better than him saying some sort of threat.

"He better not talk to me Annie." He says in that treating voice.

"I'll make sure he knows." I say.

"Good." He says.

When Finnick is in the shower I head to the phone. It only rings once.

"Hello." I hear Pearl say. She sounds tired. Then again I haven't been sleeping well either.

"Pearl, it's Annie."

"Oh good. How's Finnick?" She asks.

"He's better I think." I say.

"That's good."

"I was calling because Finnick doesn't want Bryson to speak. I don't think just to him."

"I figured this. I told Bryson already. Annie I'm worried about Finnick. I always is, he is my grandson. I'm worried about Jason too. It just reminds me when there parents died. I…" She clears her throat. "I will see you later today." She says and hangs up.

I never thought about this until now, but I wonder if this reminds her when Felicity died. Everyone is more upset about this than Michael. For obvious reasons.

I hear the shower turn off and head upstairs. I reach our bedroom and see Finnick just in his favorite pair of shorts. I had almost forgotten all the scars that were on his chest from that Capitol incident. I know some of those must be from Michael.

"You okay?" I ask. I know it's a stupid question.

He shrugs.

"I guess." He says.

"Okay." I say. I head towards the bathroom to brush my hair.

"Annie wait." He says.

"Yes?" I say.

"I think… I think I need a hug." He says. This would be cute if he didn't sound so sad and unsure.

I do and he leans into me. His head is leaning against my forehead. He is breathing in and out deeply.

"I love you." He whispers into my hair.

"I love you too." I say and kiss his shoulder. "This is gonna get easier. It will. I know it might not seem like it Finnick, but it will." I say.

"I know. I keep trying to tell myself that but… there's something in my mind that is saying it won't. It won't."

"Yes. Yes it will Finnick." I say as he starts to cry. "It will." I whisper into his chest.

Finnick holds me for long time. I only tell him to let go when I know it's almost time to leave. I head to the bathroom and put my hair up in a braid with some flowers from the garden woven into it. I remember teaching Marci how to do this. That was so long ago. It is also helping that Finnick loves my hair up like this. I know it will help him feel better.

Finnick grasps my hand as we walk down to the cemetery. You see the person doing the talking for the burial and all the people attending. I'm assuming the other people are Marci's friends, maybe some of her teachers. It looks like Marci was well liked. Of course she was.

After the person doing the ceremony finishes the nice words it's time for the eulogies. I get the feeling Bryson wanted to say something but got told or knew he shouldn't.

I know Pearl, Jason, and Finnick are talking. I know Finnick tried to figure out what to say. I wonder if he ever came up with something.

Pearl goes first. It's lovely. I almost cried.

"Next is Marci's eldest brother Finnick." They officiant says.

"Finnick that means you." I whisper and kiss his cheek. I squeeze his hand. He stands up and heads to the front.

"I… Marci… I… I… I… I can't do this." He almost shouts and then walks off. He doesn't sit back down, he starts running off.

"Finnick." I whisper and go after is much faster than I am. He probably has a destination in mind. When he stops I understand.

"Finnick." I say and walk upstairs. I find him. In the small pick room. He is pressing her pillow to his chest.

I sit next to him.

"Sweetie." I say and put my hand in his face. He doesn't say anything. He just keeps drawing circles on Marci's pillow. "Finnick." I say. He pushes his head to her pillow and starts crying, hard his shoulders are shaking and everything. "Finnick." I say again and rub his arm.

I don't know how long we stay here. I know Jason came back home. He walked past the room and didn't say anything. He did close the door. I don't think it was for privacy. I think he isn't ready to see her room.

It starts to get dark out and I do want to go home.

"Finnick." I say and run my fingers through his hair. He looks up. His face is red and is very tear stained. "We should go home. I think you'll feel a little better." His body shivers from the tears. "Okay?" I ask.

He nods and takes my hand. We just leave. I don't think Jason minds.

We walk home in silence. Well Finnick hasn't said anything in hours.

Marci Odair died and it wasn't for a good reason it was from an act of violence. She could've lived a long life, she should have. She could've gotten married, became a mother, and anything else she wanted but it was taken from her because of the evil world we live in.

* * *

We walk through the door and Finnick heads to the living room and starts messing with the fire place. He makes a fire and plops down in front of it. He stares at the flames almost as if he is hypnotized.

It's been a few hours and he still hasn't said anything. I'm worried. I don't like not knowing what he is thinking.

"Finnick you haven't said anything since her funeral. I know you're sad, angry, and probably dozens of other things but, you're worrying me. I need you to say something."

His eyes are still on the fire.

"Finnick please look at me." I say. "Finnick just say something or acknowledge that you're listening to me." I say gently.

He doesn't do anything. I don't know if I should touch him, so I just sit next to him. I sit next to him and watch him watch the fire. He is cries sometimes. His tears glisten in the firelight. For the most part he is just looking at the flames.

"Finnick you haven't eaten all day. I can make you something." I say. I did give him toast in the morning but, he didn't eat it. "You should eat something. Even if it is small. You need to take care of yourself." I say and he sighs.

I stand up and heat soup left over from the other night. I put it in a mug and bring it too him.

"Here." I say but he doesn't take it. "Finnick." I say. "Sweetie." He still doesn't do anything.

I sigh. I touch his hand and have him grip the mug.

"Take a few sips Finnick." I say and rub his back.

He doesn't for awhile and when he does I'm assuming it's cold but at least he drank some.

I feel his hand touch mine. He grasps it tightly. I look towards him and smile. He doesn't smile back and I didn't expect him to.

We watch the roaring fire die down until it is nothing but embers. I'm considering asking if he wants more wood, but I know he won't answer.

He clears his throat and I look up.

"Annie." He says softly.

"Yes?" I say gently.

"I think I'm tired." He says.

"Okay." I say and kiss his cheek.

I take his hand and lead him upstairs. He lies down and holds me tightly.

"I love you." He says. "So much." He whispers in my ear.

"I love you too Finnick." I say and he kisses the top of my head.

"Please don't ever leave. I can't be alone. Don't leave me alone Annie." He whimpers. I think he is crying.

"I won't. I was never planning to."

"I love you."

"I love you too sweetie." I say. I'm hoping all the sweetie's are helping. I know he likes being called that and all that other cutesy stuff I hate.

"Thank you." He says. I don't know why he is thanking me but I'm not going to ask. At least he is talking again.

I close my eyes.

_I know you'll be okay._ I think to myself, but I only partially believe it.


	125. Chapter 125

**Chapter 125**

I look up at the ceiling. I can't sleep. Neither can Finnick but we are both pretending we are. I can't sleep because I'm worried about Finnick. But also because I keep seeing Marci bleeding to death on the couch. The blood all over her face.

I sigh and roll over. I can't remember the last time I fell asleep without Finnick holding me. He was probably in the Capitol. I press a pillow to my chest.

Everything is messed up.

* * *

Finnick hasn't spoken in two days. I have tried getting him to talk, my mom has, Jason has, and Pearl. Yet nothing.

I've been thinking about Gloss and how he only answers when he deems it important I wonder if that is what Finnick is doing.

He eats and gets up when you tell him to. It is almost as if he is a zombie or robot. He is just following orders.

"Hey." I say and sit next to him.

He turns towards me then back to one of his notepads.

I hear the phone ring.

"I'll be right back." I say and kiss his cheek. He nods unamused.

I pick up the phone.

"Is it true?" I hear over the phone. It is a female who sounds in a rush. I can also hear a hint of annoyance.

"What?" I ask.

"Is it true? Is Finnick's sister… dead."

"How do you know about that?" I mutter into the phone. I know I didn't say anything and I'm pretty sure Finnick didn't either, considering he isn't talking to anyone.

"So it is." Johanna says.

"Johanna how do you know that?"

"I know lots of things. Tell Finnick I'm sorry... I know what it's like." She clears her throat. "We all do though."

"How do you know about this?" I ask again not thinking of a rational reason.

"Let's just say Snow likes to tell everyone when a loved one has died. More to send a message."

"So he told all of the victors?"

She snorts

"Not all of them."

"Oh I see." I look towards Finnick in the living room and he is twirling a pen in his hand around and around.

"Can I talk with him?" She asks.

"No." I say.

"But-

"He isn't talking." I whisper so Finnick won't hear me.

"Oh… I see. Well tell him I'm sorry."

"Okay." I say and the line goes dead.

I go over and sit next to him and smile. He nods blindly. I'm curious to see if he would ask who was on the phone but he doesn't.

"Finnick." I say and he looks towards me.

"Let's go outside." I say and hold out my hand. He takes it. I turn on the fountain and walk towards the backyard.

We sit down and he looks at the flowers.

"I really like this decor for late spring." I say. "The fall ones are going to be put in soon. There aren't many but that's okay. I like simplicity." I say. I can't tell if he is listening to me or not. "These are still my favorite though… I think all purple flowers are." I say and hold out one of the purple wildflowers. "It is my favorite color but you already knew that." I say and he nods. He starts drawing circles on my hand with this thumb. I lean against his shoulder. "I love you." I say still nothing.

We sit out here for awhile. Finnick eventually let's go of my hand and we head inside. He gets food from the kitchen. Which is an improvement. He would just sit at the table and you had to guess if he was hungry or not. I just wish he would say something. Anything.

* * *

Finnick and I are sitting in the living room. Finnick is watching me read while holding my hand. He turns the pages for me. I think he is reading the book as well.

My mom comes into the room. Finnick never did comment on my mom living with us but he did say it was alright. Besides, I don't think he would throw her out especially with what happened to Marci.

I feel weird talking to Finnick when he doesn't answer. I wonder if this is what it is like to talk to someone in a coma. You wonder if they can actually hear you or if they will ever talk again.

"Finnick." I say and he looks up at me. "I love you." I say and I see a small smile form on his lips. It's nice to see that. Although an 'I love you' would be better. "I was gonna go out for a- Finnick that hurts." I say as his grip on my hand has gone violent. It is like he is trying to break it. "Let go of my hand." I all but shout. I was just going to tell him I was going to go out for food and then see Pearl.

He lets go of my hand and then hugs me. Tightly. It's not as tight as the hand holding. I can bear this.

"Sorry." I barely hear him. "You can't leave. Something bad will happen." He says and kisses my forehead. I haven't heard his voice in a while. I think I was starting to forget what it sounded like.

"Okay." I say. I should've know that he would think that. I was going to say he could come with me. I rub his shoulder. "Finnick." I say after awhile and he looks at me. "Jason is coming over later." He looks a me strangely. "Remember I said I wanted to talk with both of you." I say and he nods. Looks like he only wanted to talk for a brief period.

I haven't gotten around to telling Finnick and Jason what Marci wanted me to. It's not that I've been avoiding it. It's that things have been hectic recently. Besides I'm so worried as well. I have also been trying to figure out how to say this. I wrote most of what Marci said down. I could just read it off the paper but that would seem too cold.

It's silent for a long time. I want to ask him something.

"Finnick." I whisper.

He looks towards me.

"Are you gonna start talking again?"

He shrugs.

I lean my head on his arm and close my eyes. A few tears leave my eyes.

"Okay." I whisper as he strokes my hair.

**A/N: Hey all thanks for reading. Anyways I wanted to tell all ya'll that I'm working on a 24 author collaboration story. My tribute is from District Nine and named Talia. She isn't the Talia from this story but her appearance is the same and a little bit of the personality.**

**Heres the link if you are interested www. fanfiction. net s/10748102/1/The-Fifteenth-Hunger-Games-Fallen-Leaves**

**Thanks for reading everyone**


	126. Chapter 126

**Chapter 126**

I hear a knocking on the door and I go to answer it.

"Hi Annie." Jason says. He seems relatively okay... well when he is around me anyways. I can tell he has been crying but who wouldn't. His philosophy was everyone dies… eventually. I can tell he is upset that she is dead. At least he is talking.

"Follow me." I say and head to the living room. "Sit down." I say and motion towards the spot next to Finnick.

"Finnick." Jason says. Finnick nods. Jason knows that he isn't talking. "Still not talking." He says and Finnick looks at him angrily.

"It doesn't matter." I say and they both turn towards me. "Before Marci died." I clear my throat. I have their full attention now. "She wanted me to tell you something."

"What did she want you to tell us?" Jason asks.

I tell them. I got every word right or at least I think I did.

"That's nice to know." Jason says. They both cried a little. "Isn't that nice to know Finnick? That she thinks we raised her, that we formed who she is. I think that's nice." Jason says.

Finnick nods. He lies back on the couch and closes his eyes.

"Okay." I whisper.

"I should go Annie." Jason says.

"Okay." I say.

"This was nice but I promise Pearl I would see her." He says and smiles.

"You should tell her to come over here."

"Will do, but she doesn't need an invitation."

"I know just thought I should mention it." I say. I hear from her daily but, I think she should see Finnick. I can tell she wants to.

"Good." He says. I walk him to the door and he looks to the living room. "He's okay, right?" He asks.

"Does he look okay Jason?" I ask trying to conceal my anger.

"He hasn't tried to hurt himself has he?"

"No." I say.

"You're making sure he is eating?"

"Yes." I say.

"Good. I'm glad you're here Annie."

"Me too." I say with a smile.

"That's not what I meant. Last time when our parents died… it was worse. He has you. You are taking care of him."

"I think I care about him more than myself. That sounds unhealthy doesn't?" I ask.

"I don't know. All I know is you're telling the truth. When you talk about Finnick and how much you care for him it isn't a wordless. You mean it. I know he does too." He smiles.

"Thanks." I say.

"It's not needed. I was just telling the truth." He says. "I think if I get him out of the house it might help a little."

"I think so too but we should ask him."

"I know."

We walk back towards the living room and Finnick hasn't changed his position. Jason asks and he nods. I wonder if Finnick would've said no. He does just blindly follow orders.

* * *

I see Jason and Finnick come through the door well Jason is more dragging Finnick than anything. I was getting worried it is almost ten at night.

"Here you're home." Jason says.

"That means Annie is here." He says. He sounds drunk but Finnick doesn't drink.

"I'm right here Finnick." I say and walk over towards him. I'm right next to him and he smells of boozes. "Finnick where were you?" I ask concerned.

"Oh Annie." He says and hugs me. He isn't supporting his weight so I almost fall over.

He's drunk.

"At a bar wanted to know what all this alcohol business was." He laughs "Guess what Annie I like it. Makes me feel all floaty. It does feel like my throat is burning when it goes down but I like the end result."

"Finnick you shouldn't be doing this."

"What?"

"Drinking you're trying to-

"Yes I know what I'm doing." He says coldly. It just now occurs to me that he is talking to me. He just had to get drunk first. Which isn't a good thing.

"Finnick-

"You're mad at me Annie."

"I'm not mad." I say. I can't tell if I'm lying or not.

"Yes you are." He says.

"No I'm not sweetie." I say. "You should just go upstairs and get in bed." I say gently.

"No I'm not tired." Finnick wines.

"Finnick I don't care let's just get you upstairs."

"Annie-

"You should listen to Annie Finnick." Jason says.

"No just leave me alone." He lets go of me and sways to the kitchen.

"Why did you take him to a bar?" I mutter.

"I didn't. He ran off. It took me a while to find him. He must've been drinking something strong to loose it so quickly. I'm sorry Annie."

I sigh.

"You didn't force him to. Finnick is an adult. He makes his own decisions, although this isn't the right one."

"He is talking."

"I guess…" I say and hear a bang from the kitchen.

"Finnick what are you doing?" I ask worried and rush over there.

"I want a sandwich." He says and throws some lettuce around. He is making a mess.

"Finnick sit down and I can make you a sandwich." I say.

"You are mad." He says.

"No Finnick I just think you should lie down."

"But I want a sandwich."

"I'll make you a sandwich if you promise to go to sleep after.

He has that look on his face.

"Finnick don't-

Then he vomits all over the floor.

"Annie I don't feel good." He says then.

"I know sweetie." I say and avoid the pool of vomit. "Let's get you upstairs." I say.

"I like it herrre though." He says.

"You'll feel better if you lie down. You should drink some water before you go to sleep. It will make tomorrow a little better."

"What's gonnaas happens tomarrow?" He asks. He really is drunk.

"Let's just get you to sleep." I say.

Jason helps me get Finnick upstairs. He manages to drink a glass of water. But, I don't think that will help the hangover he will have tomorrow.

* * *

"Mmmh." I hear a moaning noise.

"Annie." He says. I turn over and look at him. He eventually fell asleep. He spent most of the night in the bathroom though.

He has his hands pressed to his temples.

"Yes?"

"I feel terrible."

"I know." I say.

"What do you mean _you_ know?"

"Because you're hungover."

"I don't like this Annie." He says and rolls over.

"Avoid bright lights. I can take care of you." I say.

"You've been doing that a lot recently." He says.

"It doesn't matter Finnick." I say.

"I didn't mean to drink that much Annie but it felt so good."

"Yeah, but did it feel so good when you had your head in the toilet all night?" I ask.

"No. It tastes worse and the burning in my throat was also worse. I wonder why Haymitch puts himself through this."

"I don't think he gets hungover." I say.

"Of course he does Annie."

"I don't think he does. I think he keeps drinking and is drunk 24/7." I say sadly.

"Maybe." Finnick says. "I'm not going to turn into him Annie."

"Finnick getting drunk one night isn't going to turn you into an alcoholic." I say. "But you shouldn't drink just to forget. Try and remember all the good things that you did with Marci." I say.

He smiles.

"She told me you know."

"Told you what?" I ask confused.

"That I should ask you out. That I should tell you I loved you. That I should kiss you."

"Finnick I kissed you first." I say.

"It doesn't matter." He says and rolls over.

"Nope. I've got you now." I say. He reaches for my hand and laces his fingers with mine.

"I love you Annie." He says.

I smile and can feel my eyes well up with tears.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I just missed you saying that."

"Okay." He says and kisses me. "I love you. I love you. I love you." He keeps repeating and I smile.

"I love you too." I say when he finally stops.


	127. Chapter 127

**Chapter 127**

I flinch awake and feel uncomfortable. I want Finnick to let go of me but, he has an iron grip. I feel stuck and the dream I just had isn't helping.

Grabbed forcefully. Held down. Finnick on top of me.

I squint my eyes shut.

"It was just a dream." I whisper. Although having himso close and unable to leave does make my throat tighten. I can't take it so I forcefully remove myself from him and head to the bathroom. I know I woke him up. If he thinks I'm just going to relieve myself he won't follow. I sit on the toilet and put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I realize there is water on my face. That means I was crying in my sleep.

"Of course you were. You were crying in the dream." I was also screaming. I wonder why I couldn't scream myself awake. Probably has to do with whatever drugs are still in my system. A phone call from Blake seems like it is needed. He is the only person I can really talk to about this because Finnick isn't suppose to know I know about the drugs. I don't even know if Finnick knows.

"Get it together Annie." I whisper. Finnick is finally doing alright. I think he is coming to terms with Marci's death and me telling him about the dreams aren't going to be helping anything.

I stand up and splash water on my face. I look at my expression. My eyes are a little red from just waking up. I do look unusually pale as well.

I breathe in and out deeply. I almost don't want to go out there. In that bed. In that bed with Finnick. I wish these dreams didn't happen in places I have been. Like tonight's. It was in our bedroom.

I take a sip of water. My hands are shaking a little.

I put my hand over the other and breathe in and out deeply. It was just a dream. He isn't going to hurt you. He isn't going to hurt you. He isn't going to-

I hear a soft knock on the door.

"Annie are you okay? You've been in there for almost ten minutes." A sleepy Finnick asks concerned.

"I'm fine." I say. I didn't even convince myself.

"Okay." He says. Maybe he is just too tired to realize I'm lying or, maybe he knows he can't get the answer from me.

I take another drink of water and head back out. It has been fifteen minutes. I get back in bed carefully expecting Finnick to be asleep.

"Annie." I hear.

I turn to him and smile.

"You okay?" He asks.

I nod.

"You're shaking." He says and rubs my shoulder. I didn't even realize it. "Are you cold?"

I nod.

"Yeah it's almost fall… the nights are colder." I smile but I'm not cold. I'm scared.

He gets out of bed and opens the chest at the end of the bed to get another blanket. I don't know why he is keeping up the charade he knows I'm not cold.

"Here." He says and places it on the bed. His hand touches mine and I move them away quickly.

"Annie? What's wrong?" He asks.

"I'm fine." I say.

"Annie." He says disappointed.

"If I say, I'm fine." I say.

"Okay." He says and smiles. "If your cold Annie I think if you were closer to me it would help." He says. It's not that I'm inches from him. You could fit a pillow in the space between us.

"I'm fine right here." I say and turn on my side.

I think that is the end of it but I feel Finnick move closer to me. He kisses my arm and starts to wrap his arms around my waist. I usually don't care about this. I usually fall asleep in Finnick arms. When I don't I feel strange. But, right now I don't want him to hold me.

"Stop. Stop it." I whisper. I didn't think it was loud enough for him to hear but, he did because he lets go of me and retreats to the other side of the bed.

It's quite . He must be asleep.

I hear him sigh.

Good he's asleep.

I close my eyes but his voice startles me.

"It was one of _those_ dreams wasn't it. The ones where..." He trails off. Probably not wanting to say the ones where I hurt and rape you. I don't want him say it anyways. This isn't a question. He already knows the answer.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"It's okay if it was. You're not in control of your subconscious. I just need to know when you dream this. So I know what I shouldn't do. I… I know you know they are dreams. I know you know I wouldn't hurt you at all, especially like that, but dreams can seem very real. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I need you to tell me. Even though you... think I don't want to know. I need to know Annie so I don't hurt you." He says. He is looking up at the ceiling. I don't understand why.

"Okay." I whisper not knowing what else to say.

"Okay." He says.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says. I am glad I can hear the smile.

* * *

I wake up and head downstairs. I hear Finnick come down a few minutes later. Which surprises me. He is almost never awake when I am.

I didn't really fall asleep. I was too afraid the dreams would come back. I would rather dream of anything else than that.

"Annie." He smiles. He starts to come over towards me. I think he is going to hug me but, he stops and takes a few steps back "Can I hug you?" He asks worried.

I roll my eyes. Like I told him before hugging is alright and so is hand holding and forehead kisses. Him asking is so annoying.

"Yes you can hug me and hold my hand and give me forehead kisses." I say bluntly.

"Why do you sound angry?"

"Because you shouldn't have to ask that."

"But I want too." He smiles and moves his hand to my cheek and runs his fingers through my hair. "It's because I love you."

"Well I love you too." I whisper and hug him. I bury my head in his chest. He smells like sea salt. He always does. I think it is always in the air in our District sea salt is always present. He also smells like the melon shampoo I use. He's too lazy to get his own. He smells like Finnick. I breathe in and out deeply and rub his shoulder blades. He kisses the top of my head.

This I feel comfortable with. I feel comfortable with Finnick holding me now. I kiss the place on his chest where is heart would be.

"I love you." I whisper into his skin.

He kisses the top of my head.

"I love you too."

I don't know how long I hug him. When I let go I kiss his cheek and smile.

"Finnick." I say.

"Yes love?" He asks and I smile. I will admit that is the only pet name I like.

"Why are you awake so early?" I ask as we migrate to the kitchen.

"You don't remember?" He asks surprised.

I shake my head.

He looks at me. He looks sad.

"Victory Tour meeting is today."

"Meeting?" I ask confused we have never had a meeting before.

"I think it has to do with Katniss…" And Peeta" He adds as an afterthought. Which I think is true. More people care about the girl on fire.

"Oh." I say softly.

"I think I they are going to tell us we can't talk to them."

"Why?" I ask confused. Although I think I know why.

"Maybe a conspiracy theory that we will band together and do some damage."

I roll my eyes.

"Snow will never let that happen. If he did he would find out anyways. I mean-

"Why are you looking at me so seriously?" I ask confused. He has that look in his eyes when he is thinking about something really hard. When he is baffled.

"No reason." He says.

"Okay." I say confused. He sits down and I start to get my cereal. He is tracing circles on the table. He is disappointed that I think the conspiracy theory is virtually impossible. "Finnick." I say and he looks towards me. "If that theory ever was possible I would be in."

He smiles.

"I know you would be."

I take a bite of my cereal.

"You would tell me right?" I ask. Although I think I know the answer.

"Of course I would. I couldn't keep a secret like that from you." He smiles awkwardly. "But, this is just a theory nothing more nothing less." He adds. I don't know why he felt the reason to add that. However, I know he is wouldn't tell me,because I'm poor fragile Annie Cresta. I can't do anything.

* * *

We start to head to the Justice Building. I look around and see dozens of peacekeepers.

My grip on Finnick's hand is tight.

"Don't worry Annie. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He says and hesitantly kisses my forehead.

"I know you won't." I say.

We get to the Justice Building and get taken to the room. My grasp on Finnick is so tight my knuckles are white.

"It's okay." Finnick says and starts to draw circles on my hand.

We enter the room and I see Luna and Mags already there. Finnick leads us to the empty seats and we sit down.

I lean my head against Finnick's shoulder and close my eyes.

"What are we waiting for?" Luna asks.

"No idea." Finnick says.

We sit in silence for almost ten minutes until the door opens. I open my eyes and see Demetrius. He must be the head peacekeeper now.

"Good all our victors are here." He smiles and takes the seat at the head of the table.

"As head peacekeeper I need to make sure peace is kept in my District. Which has been a problem recently. Now to ensure this, there will be new ground rooms. Ground rules that are made by our President." He smiles.

"Let's hear it then." Luna says annoyed.

"Due to the following Hunger Games things have been getting... out of hand. President Snow feels this is because there were two victors."

Luna snorts and Mags gives her a look of disapproval.

"Due to this he feels that the less interaction between victors will be the better."

"There are four of us though Demetrius." Mags says somewhat confused.

"Yes, he would like to fix that."

"Is he going to kill us?!" I blurt out in an almost scream.

"No, he can't do that because everyone loves you." His voice is saying except you.

"So what is this new rule?" Finnick asks.

"Your phones will no longer be able to call to the other Districts. You will not be able to visit with each other unless it is for Hunger Game events."

"How can you be so sure about that?" Luna asks.

"Peacekeepers will be watching you in Victors Village."

"Now, I know this might be harder for some of you more than the others but-

"Demetrius. What exactly are you saying?" Mags asks concerned.

"Finnick and Annie have to abide by these new rules too. We can't have favoritism. Even though everyone loves Finnick it doesn't matter. Snow wanted to make this easier so he gave you a grace period. I would use it to move all your belongings out."

"No you can't do this!" I say and move closer to Finnick.

"It has been done. It wasn't going to happen but recent conversations have shown-

"You're listening into our conversations." I say surprised and angry. I wonder what else they listen into. I shiver.

"Yes." He looks towards Finnick. There is a sense of uncomfortableness in the room. Like I'm the only person who didn't know this. Like I'm the only person who doesn't know a secret.

"There were concerns. Now I'm sure you will be just fine by yourself Miss. Cresta."

"No! I won't!" I lean closer towards Finnick again. I'm as close as possibly I can be while sitting in this chair. Finnick wraps his arms around me and draws circles on my back.

I start crying. I didn't want to but I couldn't help it. This means I would only see Finnick once a year since victors can no longer go to a Victory Tour. It's getting hard to breathe.

"Annie. Focus on your breathing. Listen to mine and copy that." Finnick whispers to me. I can't though. Thinking about this is impossible to calm down. I'm going to throw up.

"Annie. It's okay. It's okay." Finnick says more concerned and strokes my hair.

"It's not okay!" I shout.

I keep crying until everything goes dark.

I wake up on the ground and look around confused. I don't know where I am.

"Annie." I hear and turn towards the voice. It's familiar. She comes into view and I'm confused.

"Marci? Is this a dream."

"More or less your mind is wondering right now." She smiles.

"I can't do this Marci. I can't be away from him."

"You won't be."

"Yes I will."

"No you won't." She says and kneels next to me. "I know you know Finnick isn't telling you everything and that's okay." She smiles and pushes hair out of my eyes. "You'll find out what it is soon. But trust me when I say this Annie Cresta. This won't stop you from seeing Finnick."

I wipe my eyes and sniffle.

"You mean he will talk to Snow?"

"He will but... it probably won't help. He will have another way to be with you."

"I can't sleep without him." I press my knees to my chest. I rest my head on my knees and start to rock back and forth. "I can't live without Finnick! I need him! I need him!"

"You'll still have him. He'll be right under your feet."

"What?" I ask confused.

"Go to the creepy back room." She says.

"What?" I say and she disappears. I lie back down and cry. "I can't live without you. I need you." I sob.

I cry for awhile and am then submerged with water.

I jump and see myself in the Justice Building still. They all look concerned. I turn to Finnick but he doesn't. He smiles at me.

"You're okay." He whispers.

"Good you're finally awake. I thought this would only last five minutes not forty five now-"

"Forty five minutes?" I ask nervous.

"You were staring off into space for that long. Even yelling your name didn't work. Finnick said it wouldn't be long but he lied." Demetrius says annoyed.

I sniffle confused.

"It's alright Annie. You're fine. I love you." Finnick whispers.

I was gone left reality. For over thirty minutes. I start crying again. I'm crazy.

"Stop crying!" Demetrius shouts. I make a whimpering sound instead.

"As I was saying, you have a week to move all the belongs you want. After that you are out of luck."

I lay my head on the table I can't listen to this.

"There is one more thing." He says. I look towards him not really caring. "If you are caught breaking any of these new _laws_ you will face the punishment _I _see fit." He smiles devilishly.

"Are you gonna kill us?" I croak out.

"I can't do that, but I can do anything else with _most_ of you." He lingers at Finnick. "I can do whatever I want." He smiles. "You may now leave." He says and stands up.

"Sit back down Demetrius I have some questions for you." Finnick says in his threatening voice.

He sighs

"Fine but everyone else must leave."

Finnick rubs my back and gets me to stand up.

He gingerly rubs my face.

"Don't worry Annie. I'm going to make this better." He kisses my lips without permission and I don't care. I hug him.

"I love you." I say.

"I don't have all day Mr. Odair." Demetrius says annoyed.

Finnick places a strand of hair behind my hair. "Annie. Go home." He says gently.

"I- I… I can't go home." I sob. "I need to be with you."

"Your mom is there." He says and strokes mr hair.

I start sobbing and make unintelligent sounds. I feel someone wrap their arms around me and walk me to the doors. It's not Finnick the grip is to gentle.

I can't say anything and I'm crying so much I can't really see.

"It's going to be alright Annie. Finnick will make this right." Mags says.

I just whimper. I think she is taking me to my house but she takes me to hers instead. It is closer and she can't exactly walk around quickly.

"Everything will be fine." She says in a soothing tone like my Mom would.

She leads me to the couch. I lean on the arm rest and push a pillow to my chest.

"I can't stop crying." I sob out.

"You will Annie." Mags says and rubs my back. "You just need to calm down. Finnick is going to make everything alright." She says gently.

"What if he doesn't? What if I never see him again!" I shout.

"He won't let that happen." She says and strokes my hair.

I don't know what she means by that. Hearing this seeing and that strange image of Marci. What did she mean he will be right beneath my feet. And what would the creepy back room have to do with this. Finnick and I have never used it. Hence why it is called the creepy back room.

I don't really care about that. I just keep thinking that I won't be able to see Finnick every day. That I won't be able to sleep with his arms wrapped around me. Even with the rape dreams it doesn't matter. I need him next to me when I sleep. He is the only person who can truly calm me down after a nightmare.

"Finnick." I whimper as Mags continues to rub my back.


	128. Chapter 128

**Chapter 128**

I mostly lie in bed all day with a pillow pressed my chest. I can't do too much. I feel useless. I feel like I can't do anything. I didn't realize how much I actually depended on Finnick. I don't think it's just that though. I think it is that I can't see him. For a long long time.

I hear footsteps and sit up.

"Finnick." I say hopeful.

"It's just me sweetie." My mom says sadly. She kneels in front of me because I'm laying on the couch. I haven't even moved since this morning. I came down here and plopped on the couch.

My mom kisses my forehead. "Annie you should eat something."

I roll over.

"Sweets." She says gently. "You must be hungry Annie."

I nod.

"What do you want to eat?" She asks.

"Whatever you're making." I whisper.

"Okay." She says and kisses the top of my head.

I close my eyes.

Has it really only been a month. I think to myself.

* * *

**ONE MONTH EARLIER.**

* * *

"It's going to be okay Annie." Mags keeps saying. I'm not crying but I keep shivering and gasping from the crying.

I don't know how long I sit here. She keeps rubbing my back. After I cry I usually go to sleep. So that is what I do. I fall asleep.

I hear muffling noises.

"It didn't work." I think I hear Finnick say.

"Did you talk to Snow?" She asks.

"Yes." Finnick says. He's been crying.

"Well what about her not getting hurt."

"He said she isn't getting hurt. He isn't touching her. But she is going to get hurt. I'm going to get hurt. I-

"Finnick calm down." Mags says gently.

It's quiet for awhile. I think she is just hugging him.

"Marci wasn't supposed to get hurt Finnick." She says.

"I know." He says.

"You could use that as leverage for this."

"I can't use my dead sister as leverage. It isn't right." Finnick says.

"I don't think Marci would've minded." She says gently.

"I know… but… I can't… Annie… I… I...I need to be with her." Finnick says. He starts crying.

"It going to be alright dear. Let's go to the kitchen. We don't want to wake Annie." She says gently. They walk to the kitchen. I don't like this. I'm getting the feeling Finnick couldn't do anything.I'm getting the feeling Finnick and I won't be able to see each other as much.

I breathe in and out deeply. A few tears dribble from my eyes.

They spend a long time in the kitchen. I can't really hear them. I catch a few words here and there. It is mostly just Finnick being upset.

I hear walking and then someone sits next to me. They touch me and I know instantly it isn't Mags.

"She looks nice, peaceful." Mags says.

"Most people do when they sleep." Finnick says unamused.

"Finnick." Mags says.

"Yes." He says. I can tell he is staring at me.

"What happened in the meeting does that still happen frequently?" Mags asks concerned. Frequently I don't do that. I don't zone out.

"Yes. She doesn't realize it though. Sometimes when it isn't as nice but." He rubs my back. "It doesn't matter."

"You don't tell her." Mags says and I can hear disapproval.

"No. I don't want to worry her. I don't want her to think she is crazy. Because she isn't. Just lost." He kisses my forehead.

"Maybe if you tell her it would help her. Maybe she wouldn't zone out as much."

"I understand but I'm doing what I think is right."

"You can make your own decisions I was just throwing in my opinion." She says gently.

"I know." He says. I think he is smiling. "Look at her though." Finnick says and smooths my hair.

"Yes she does look peaceful."

"No. I meant how defenseless she looks. She needs to be taken care of."

"You mean she needs you to take care of her."

He doesn't answer.

"She does need you Finnick but, right now that doesn't seem like an option. She has her Mom and right now that is the best thing."

"I need her. I can't see you either."

"You'll be okay Finnick. You have Jason and your grandmother."

"Who do you have?" Finnick asks her.

"I can get by Finnick don't worry about me."

"Isn't that what you do with the people you love." Finnick says.

"I guess you're right." Mags says. I can tell she is smiling.

"When do these new rules kick in?"

"I'm assuming tomorrow. Did you not ask Demetrius."

"I was too worried about other things."

"Understandable. He did make it seemed like it would happen right away. I think tomorrow it is going to happen." Mags says sadly.

"I love you Mags."

"I love you too sweetie." She says.

I'm tired of listening to this. It's too sad. I rustle a little and open my eyes slowly.

"Finnick." I say trying to sound hazy.

"Annie." Finnick says and pulls me into his arms.

"Is everything fixed?" I whisper although I know the answer.

He breathes in and out deeply.

"That bad?" I say and I can feel the tears well up in my eyes.

"Annie we should go home. Talk about it there."

"Okay." I whisper.

He wipes the few tears I have already shed. He holds my hand and we walk towards the door.

"Goodbye Mags." Finnick says. I'm still too upset to say anything.

"Goodbye Finnick and Annie." They won't be able to see each other for a year. That's going to be me and Finnick as well.

We are almost to our house. I keep thinking about this. I stop in the middle of the road and throw up. Like I thought I would. I fall to my knees and start crying.

"It's alright Annie." Finnick says. He sits next to me despite being in front of my pile of vomit.

I wipe the throw up on my face with the back of my hand and hiccup.

"It's okay Annie." He says and leans his face on my shoulder.

"No it's not." I say. Tears rolls down my cheeks and onto my hands. Finnick is crying as well.

He gets me to stand up and we walk back home.

We walk through the door and I see my Mother on the couch. She looks surprised and starts to come over here.

"Is everything alright?" She asks.

"No." I say.

"Do you want to be alone sweetie?" She asks and rubs my arm.

"Yes." I whisper.

She kisses my forehead.

"I'll just go to my room. If you need me you can find me." She kisses my forehead again and heads upstairs.

Finnick and I sit down on the couch and hold each other.

After awhile Finnick let's go.

"Do you want to know what happened?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"Just tell me what the official outcome is." I whisper.

"What Demetrius said." Finnick swallows hard. "It's the same." He says. "I couldn't do anything Annie. I tried but Snow he… he…"

"It's okay Finnick. You don't have to tell me the result is the same."I say because it is still probably to fresh to talk about.

He nods.

"I know." He says.

"I love you so much." I say.

"I love you too." He says.

We don't really sleep just hold one another or look at one another. I can't do this. I don't think Finnick can either. But we have to or else we are going to get hurt. I don't understand how this is working with Snow's deal but Marci is dead so who knows how it really works.

* * *

"Is this yours or mine?" I whisper holding up a strange object that I don't really care what happens to it.

I can barely take Finnick moving his stuff out of here. I feel so defeated. Finnick leaves the house frequently and I know when he leaves he is trying to fix this. He can't though. It's unfixable. We can't see any other victors and the amount of peacekeepers outside is frightening.

"It's mine but you can keep it." Finnick says.

"Okay." I say.

I sigh and sit down at the table.

"I can't do this it's too sad." I whisper.

"I know, but I do need some things over at my house, clothes for example. I don't know how long this will last either."

"Don't say that." I whisper.

"I don't want to. God I don't want to Annie. However this is reality. It's not a very nice one either. I promise though it will get better." He says and kisses my forehead.

My chin trembles and I start crying. I think I will keep crying for a long time.

"I can do the packing by myself if this is too hard for you." He says gently.

I swallow hard.

"Okay." I whisper.

Finnick stands behind me and massages my shoulders.

"I love you Annie. This gonna be alright. We can get through this. We can get through everything."

I put my hands over my face and cry.

"I love youuuu." I sob.

He kisses the top of my head.

"I love you too." He says. "Why don't you go lie down upstairs. I can finish this." Finnick says and kisses the top of my head.

"Okay." I sob.

"Here let me walk you to our bedroom." Finnick says. He holds my hand and places me in bed. He throws a blanket over me and kisses my forehead.

He runs his fingers through my hair. His eyes hold sadness.

"I love you Annie." He says.

"Kiss me." I whisper because I know he will ask.

He smiles and his lips briefly find mine.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

I nod.

"I'm gonna go finish up then." He whispers and kisses my forehead.

I roll over and see the closet. It's half empty. Finnick's clothes are missing.

I start crying and can't get it to stop.

* * *

I walk downstairs and see how strange the place looks. I didn't realize how much stuff Finnick had. I thought it would never go away. He is only allowed to be here for three more days. Who knows when I will see him again.

I sit down on the floor and look at the ceiling.

"Annie?" Finnick asks confused as he walks downstairs.

"What?" I ask.

"Whatcha doing?" He asks.

"Sitting on the floor. Trying not to cry." I whisper.

"I thought so." He says and pulls me up. "We're gonna leave the house today."

"What why?" I ask afraid.

"Just follow me." He says. I take his hand. He leads me to the pond at Victors Village. There are too many peacekeepers for my liking but I don't care. We sit at the deck and look at the water.

"Do you remember what happened here Annie?" He asks.

"I fell in a couple times." I say confused.

"Yes you did." He smiles and places hair behind my ear. "I meant something about us specifically."

I shrug.

"Well it's a good thing I remember Annie Cresta." He smiles. "This is where we first kissed and where we first exchanged I love you."

I smile.

"Yes it was."

"It was also the place where I gave you your locket." He says and runs his fingers over it.

"Yes it was." I say again.

We sit here for awhile.

"Come here." He says and pulls me up again.

He starts to lead me somewhere else. It's the beach of Victors Village.

"What's this?" I ask.

"This my dear Annie is where the first Finnick gesture happened." He smiles.

"The starry night festival." I say.

He nods.

"I made you a meal put firefly lights up and then we watched the stars." He smiles and so do I.

"I remember." I say happily.

"Good." He kisses my forehead. "Let's go over here." He says and starts to lead me towards his boat.

"I remember this one."

"Really." He smiles.

"This was the Finnick gesture before the garden. The one where you broke the window. We went out on the boat you made me a meal again and we watched the stars again. The water was so clear it looked like a mirror. We stayed out all night."

"Yes we did and then it was your garden." He says and picks up one of the wild flowers and places it in my hair. I smile.

He starts to lead me somewhere else.

"I think you should remember this one Annie." He says and hands me one of the putters.

"The first Annie gesture." I smile as I look at the golf course. Finnick and I do use this frequently. He usually beats me.

"Yes." I say.

We play a round and Finnick beats me. Like he usually does.

He takes my hand again and I don't know where he is leading me.

"What's this?" I ask and look around at a worn down gazebo in the outskirts of Victors Village.

"Before I said I love you. This is where I would come and think about you. If I should tell you. If you at least liked me. If you were alright."

I smile.

"So did you think about anything else out here?" I ask.

He nods.

"It was mostly about you though."

I smile and kiss him.

"Come here." He says. We end up back to our house and sit on the porch swing. I feel uncomfortable with all the peacekeepers.

"Don't worry Annie. I won't let them touch you." He says loud enough for them to hear.

I smile.

"I think you knew what happened here as well." He says.

"I thought you were going to hurt yourself while fixing this." I pat the porch swing. He nods.

"You had no confidence in me."

"You said you didn't know the difference between a phillips or flathead screwdriver. Which you were going to be using."

"I beg to differ." He smile and I roll my eyes. "Let's go inside." He says and leads me to the backyard.

"This is the favorite thing I have done for you Annie." He says. "I knew you wanted it so badly. I was happy to give it to you. Besides, you looked so happy." He smiles.

"Yes I did. It was the biggest surprise ever." I say. We sit out here for awhile and then we head upstairs to our bedroom.

"I took care of you when you were sick up here."

I nod.

"Yes you did." I smile.

He kisses me and I lean my head on his shoulder.

It's quite fit a while.

"Annie." He says and I look at him.

"Right here you were the only person who wanted me because you loved me not because of my body." He kisses me.

"I'm special." I say.

"Yes you are. Being with you that first night was the only time I was nervous."

"_You_ were nervous." I say surprised because he has been with probably hundreds of women.

He nods.

"Because you're the only one who matters to me. I was worried about what you were thinking."

I smile.

"Finnick." I say and kiss him. He holds me for awhile.

"What was this all about Finnick?" I ask.

"I know I'm not going to be able to see you." He swallows hard. "But I'm around everywhere Annie. I'm always with you." He moves his hand to my necklace. He kisses my cheek. "I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I say.

"I still don't understand why." He says.

"Nor do I." I say.

He smiles.

"I'm just glad you do Annie. You're one of the few people who know the real me."

"I know and I treasure that fact every single day." Finnick smiles and I kiss him.

This was nice at least I can be reminded of him more. But I can't actually see him.

* * *

I walk downstairs, grab an orange, and sit outside in the garden.

_Two more days._ I think.

I hear the sliding glass door open and see Finnick come outside.

"Hey." He says.

"Good morning." I say.

"It certainly is because I'm with the most beautiful girl." He says and I smile.

"So do you have anything to do today."

"Be with you." He says.

"Yeah keep the minimum amount of time we have left together."

"Annie we aren't dying. I will see you again." He says and wraps an arm around me.

"There's the silver lining." I mutter.

"Annie I love you."

"I love you too."

"Let's just hold onto this." He says. "Be happy."

I sigh.

"Aren't I supposed to be optimistic?" I ask annoyed.

"Usually but one of us has to be and since you aren't it. That means I am." He smiles and kisses my forehead.

I spend the rest of the day in Finnick's arms. I don't want to let go of him because after tomorrow it is one more day and then... I close my eyes.

"Annie?" He says.

"Yeah?" I say.

"I think you're tired we should go upstairs."

"Okay." I nod. I'm not really, but if he lies down he can hold me closer to him.

I lie down in bed and Finnick lays next to me. He holds me in his arms. I smile and he smiles back.

I look up at Finnick and kiss him, gently slowly. I don't know how long we end up kissing but I don't care. My kissing time with Finnick is limited and I don't feel uncomfortable right now.

"I love you." I whisper barely audible.

"I love you too." Finnick says and kisses me. He doesn't ask which I'm grateful for.

I don't want him to stop kissing me. I don't want him to stop kissing me. I think again.

I break the kiss.

"Sorry." Finnick says.

"Why?" I ask confused.

"I didn't ask and… it was getting carried away." He says and kisses my hair line. "I love you Annie Cresta. So much."

"You don't have to apologize Finnick." I kiss his cheek. "Besides I wouldn't mind."

"What?" He asks confused.

"I wouldn't mind if things got carried away." I whisper. I don't know why but it's not something I would shout.

"Annie." Finnick says and brushes hair behind my ear.

"Yes?" I ask confused.

He looks like he wants to say something. I know he won't say 'don't say this to make me happy' because he knows I wouldn't do that. Besides Finnick isn't a misogynistic ass. Unlike his alter ego. Besides the next time I see him might be a long time. Although I recently had a dream of him sexually assaulting me I want to be with him again before he leaves. I want to make love with him. Possibly one last time.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too silly." I smile and kiss his cheek.

"Okay." He smiles

"Okay." I say and kiss him. I kiss him deeply and passionately. However, I suddenly feel afraid. Not that he will hurt me but like when it was the first time.

"Annie, do you want me to stop?" Finnick asks concerned. My body must have stiffened or something.

"No I love you. I trust you." I say.

"Okay because we could stop." Finnick says.

"I'm okay."

"You sure because we can. I wouldn't mind Annie. I love you and-

"I know." I smile.

"Okay." He says.

Something about his tone of voice is strange.

"Finnick are you okay?" I ask.

"I just want to make sure everything is okay. I mean is this okay?" He motions around the bedroom. We are just lying on top of the bedspread with the lights on. We were just sitting here. It doesn't really matter. Finnick has seen me before and I want to see his face.

"I said I'm okay Finnick." I smile.

"I know… I just mean do you want the lights off or on? Maybe just the bedside lamp? Do you want to be-

I'm smile

"What?" He asks.

"You're nervous."

"Annie-

"Yes, yes you are."

"Okay maybe." He mutters.

"Don't worry Finnick I think that's cute." Which I do. I remember what he said yesterday, that I was the only person who he felt nervous about because I was the only person who truly cared about him.

"Cute is not the best word right now Annie."

"Sorry." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

He sighs

"It's okay... It's just those dreams… I don't know what I do and I'm just trying… I want to make sure you feel comfortable. I want to make sure-

I smile. I love him so much. He is still talking but I'm not listening.

"Finnick." I say and he stops talking.

"Yes?" He says

"Finnick it's okay. I'm okay. Besides, you asking these questions is just as annoying as asking to kiss me." I say and kiss him.

"It really is isn't it?" Finnick smiles.

I nod.

"Okay." He says.

"Okay." I say and kiss him again.

I move my hands to his face and smile.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says and kisses me.

Articles of clothing start to shed. I trace my fingers over the contours of his chest. His skin feels warm and soft. He places his hand on top of mine and kisses me. His hand does the same to my skin. Soft touching and caressing continue.

Even though Finnick and I have done this before I'm still nervous like it was the first time.

I pull him closer to me. I don't want him to go anywhere. I just want him close to me.

Finnick doesn't do anything without permission and makes sure I feel alright. He did this the first time as well. He wants to make sure I'm alright. He wants me to feel safe and it's not because of the dreams. It's because he cares about me.

"I love you." Finnick says and caresses my cheek bones.

"I love you too." I say. He holds my hand,

Cries of pleasure and jumbled words are formed. That's all nice but I really like being close to Finnick. I like becoming one person and it makes me feel like we are sharing our souls.

* * *

Finnick is holding me and my head is pressed to his chest. His heartbeat is back to normal.

"Are you okay Annie?" He whispers and kisses the top of my head.

Talking seems foreign. I swallow hard.

"Yes. I'm alright. I love you." I say.

"I love you too." Finnick says. We soon drift to sleep but before I fall completely asleep I think one more day.

* * *

I wake up and am still entangled with Finnick.

I sigh and look at the peacefully expression on his face. He has that half smile he does when he is sleeping peacefully. I look at his arm protectively wrapped around me. His nice strong arm. I run my fingers up and down his forearm.

"I love you." I whisper.

I watch Finnick sleep. I know I say this is creepy whenever he does it but I don't care because time is running out. I feel like that girl who only has till midnight before her dress and everything goes back to normal. Before her carriage turns into a pumpkin. Finnick is my pumpkin. He has less than twenty four hours here.

I close my eyes and tears leave my eyes.

"Finnick." I whisper and kiss his arm.

Finnick's eyes open slowly after a few minutes and he smiles at first but then looks alarmed.

"What's wrong Annie?" He asks.

"You're gonna leave soon and-

Finnick kisses my cheek.

"It will be okay Annie. I will see you again." He says.

* * *

As soon as the sun breaks Finnick has to leave.

"Hey." Finnick says walking downstairs. He doesn't look tired. Neither of us slept last night we tried, but it didn't work. I know as soon as he leaves I'm going to cry.

I hug him.

"You're not going to hurt yourself are you?" I whisper.

"No. I won't. Besides Pearl lives with me now."

I nod.

"Let me look at you." I say. He puts his hands on my cheeks and mine rest on his shoulders. I just look at him. I want to remember his face. "I love you so much." I practically sob.

"I love you too Annie." He kisses the top of my head.

The sky is staring to streak pink. He starts to walk towards the door.

"Remember Annie, I'm always with you." He says and runs his fingers over the locket.

"Always." I say and hug him. I breathe in and out deeply. Finnick then leans in and kisses me. I hear the door open and we both jump.

"Times up." I hear Demetrius say. He's smiling. This smug bastard. "Saving" me so Snow won't kill him. Lobbying for Constantine's job. Throwing Constantine's dismembered head at my front door. Then doing this,taking Finnick away from me.

He starts to come and take him away.

"I love you Finnick." I shout.

"I love you Annie." He says as he is being dragged from the house.

Finnick leaving is the hardest thing that has happened post Hunger Games.

* * *

**PRESENT DAY**

* * *

"Annie dinner is ready." I hear my Mom say.

I roll over not really caring.

"Annie I'm not walking the meal over to you. You're eating at the table today." She says.

I sigh and do just that.

I start eating whatever she made. Food has lost it's taste and I no longer care about that.

"Annie maybe you should start drawing again. I think it would be wonderful to see More of your art."

I shrug. She just doesn't want me to sit around all day. I tried reading but couldn't keep my focus long enough.

I shake my head.

"Maybe you should call Lana. You haven't seen her in a few days." She says.

"Maybe." I whisper.

I don't really care. I don't care what I do. I'm just worrying about Finnick. I want to be around Finnick.

I don't really sleep at night and when I do I always have nightmares. I have new nightmares where he always dies. The worst part about this is I can't check to make sure if it's real or not.

**A/N: Hello readers! Firstly thank you for reading! Secondly I was thinking of doing a few sections from Finnick's POV during this story arc. But I wanted to ask because this is like a strict Annie POV thing it says in the description and everything lol. Leave a comment if you would be alright with that. Alright everyone thanks again for reading!**


	129. Chapter 129

**A/N: I got mixed views for doing sections in Finnick's POV so we are gonna try one first. Think of this as a beta test. If you don't like it, it will end here. This is only if the majority doesn't like. They probably won't be full chapters or as long as this one. Just little blurbs. I do know one other event I want from Finnick's POV. Anyways this is set right after the meeting.**

**Chapter 129**

How can this be happening. I think. There is no way this is possible. Snow said Annie wouldn't get hurt.

"You can all leave." Demetrius says and stands up.

I can't comprehend this. I know it isn't possible but I need to know.

"Sit back down Demetrius. I have some questions for you." I say harsher than I meant.

He looks annoyed but, he should've been expecting this. He just can't tell me I can't see Annie every day and expect me to just walk on my merry way. No. He is going to hear what I have to say. I want to talk to Snow as well because he can't do this. I'm going to fix this. I need Annie. It will be like when she wouldn't see me after the solitary confinement. Accept this time it is different, because they are making me lose her.

Annie doesn't move her face is still resting on the table.

I move my hand to her back and rub it up and down gently in a way I know she likes the best. A way that can calm her down the quickest.

She sits up, I take her hand and get her to stand. Her face is very messy and a little red. Her hair is matted a little from the tears and lying on he table, but despite this she is still beautiful.

I shake my head.

_This isn't the time to marvel at her beauty Finnick._ I think to myself.

I cup her face in my hand which she leans into.

"Don't worry Annie. I'm going to make this better." I say. Which I will. I will do everything I can. I lean in and kiss her but soon regret it.

_Did she want me to kiss her? Is she alright with me kissing her? She is afraid now because I kissed her_

Despite these thoughts she hugs me so I know she is alright.

"I love you." She says

"I don't have all day Mr. Odair." I hear Demetrius say and I feel angry. I wonder what he would be feeling if this happened to him. Despite this I stay calm for Annie.

I place a stray hair behind her ear and smile.

"Annie go home." I say gently and kiss her forehead.

She looks at me alarmed.

"I- I… I can't go home. I need to be with you." She sobs.

I know she does. I need to be with her. But right now I need to fix this terrible mistake.

"Your mom is there Annie." I say and run my fingers through her hair.

She scrunches her face and starts crying.

"Annie." I say gently.

I see Mags wrap her arms around Annie and lead her out of the room. I still hear Annie sobbing.

I turn towards Demetrius. He is the reason for those sobs.

"Okay Mr. Odair start talking." He says.

"You can't do this."

"As I said it has been done. Arguing will not change the outcome. I suggest you go home so you can be with her." He says.

"No you don't understand Snow-

"Listen you annoying little shit. I know the rules of you. So if you talk to him, he will say the same thing."

"Then let me speak with him." I almost shout.

He rolls his eyes and puts a device on the table. It lights up and it is calling Snow. I can see his face.

"As you suspected Mr. Odair wanted to speak with you." Demetrius smiles.

"Well Mr. Odair please speak up." Snow smiles.

I want to kick him.

"You can't do this." I almost shout.

"I can. I am the President and your District is causing chaos. I feel you victors may be the problem, so you can no longer see each other. I'm sure everything will be fine."

"But Annie is different. She is on the untouchable list. Everything won't be fine. I'm not fine right now Annie-"

"Things are happening all around Panem right now. As I'm sure you already knew Mr. Odair." He pauses. "Now I don't know if Miss. Cresta is too stupid to see it-"

I open my mouth to object but I know it won't get me anywhere. Annie isn't stupid she is just a realist. It still doesn't seem possible to break the chains Snow has around all of us. She doesn't know anything but she isn't stupid.

"But it doesn't matter. She is part of the problem and so are the others. I need to cure the virus. I feel if everyone is separated it will help _tame_ it." He says.

"You can't do this because you are supposed to be making sure I'm happy. Making sure I don't hurt myself."

"As I said previously Mr. Odair if you try to kill yourself again I won't stop you. Besides, would you really want to leave Annie behind. Knowing that she can't live without you or knowing that I may just get rid of her."

"Be quite." I say. I'm not planning on killing myself. I'm just trying to make it so Annie will be with me every day.

It's quite. Demetrius has a smug look on his face.

"Love is such a delicate thing." Snow smiles. "It needs desperation, constant attention, and that special bond. It can last a life time Mr. Odair. So I don't think you being away from Miss. Cresta will change that."

"You don't know anything about love. You're a monster. You're enjoying this. You enjoy making people miserable."

"I don't. You have followed the rules thus far. However I may have bent them a great deal for you. But now the rules are changing. I need to make sure everything is alright."

"What if it isn't."

"Excuse me?" He asks perplexed.

"What if everything isn't alright. What if you can't get it to stop."

President Snow smiles slyly. It makes me shiver.

"Oh Mr. Odair there are always ways of making things stop. You just need to cut the head off the snake first."

"Katniss being the snake?" I ask although I know I shouldn't have. Snow isn't that stupid there is a reason he doesn't want us to talk to the other Districts.

President Snow smiles.

"As I told Mrs. Everdeen earlier I don't want to kill anyone."

_Liar._ I think.

I'm sure there was more to that conversation if he spoke with her at all.

"As I was saying earlier Mr. Odair love is just a silly emotion people think they feel. Love is just something someone can use against you. It's such a weakness. It's useless to have."

"You're wrong." I clear my throat. "Besides you said you couldn't hurt Annie, doing this will hurt her."

Snow rolls his eyes.

"A little crying never killed anyone Mr. Odair. Besides I won't kill her. She will be safe."

"She needs to be safe with me."

"That was not a part in the original agreement. You have one week to be with Miss. Cresta and if you see her again you will be punished."

"If Annie does see me how is this 'I won't hurt her' clause work?"

"I have it all worked out already Mr. Odair. There are more ways to hurt than just by beating someone."

I swallow hard. I don't want to know what he means by that.

"Now this talk was very… insightful but I must go. If you have any further questions direct them towards Demetrius."

"Wait-" I say but it's too late, he has already hung up.

"See nothing can be done now you should leave." Demetrius snarls.

"No." I say.

"I can have you forcefully removed Mr. Odair."

I feel like some fat guy is sitting on my chest. I can't tell Annie this. I can't be without her.

My legs start moving before I realize it. They are leading me to Mags house.

I'm assuming Annie is still there. I can't cry, not in front of Annie anyways. By myself or somewhere she won't see. One of us has to be sort of strong and I know it won't be her. I know I won't be much better.

I have tears on my face. How can I even tell Annie this. That I can't see her everyday. That I can't hold her every day.

I don't bother knocking I just walk through the door. I see Annie on the couch sleeping. She must've been crying a lot. She always falls asleep after she has shed a great deal of tears. I don't want to wake her up because that means I will have to tell her.

"Sweetie." I hear Mags say and walk over here. "So? How did it go." She asks with a hopeful smile on her face.

"It was… interesting." I say. My throat is tight.

"Finnick." She says and wraps her arms around me. She knows it didn't go alright. Just like when Snow wanted to wish me a happy sixteenth birthday. By celebrate he means saying 'hey you're legal now so I can sell you.' I shiver from that memory if only I had believed him. If only I had believed her.

"Everything will be fine." She says.

"It didn't work." I say. Although I'm pretty sure she already knows.

"Did you talk to Snow?" She asks.

"Yes." I say. I clear the phlegm front my throat.

"Well what about her not getting hurt." Mags says still rubbing my back.

"He said she isn't getting hurt. He isn't touching her. But she is going to get hurt. I'm going to get hurt. I-"

"Finnick calm down." Mags says gently. I don't know what my face looks like but I must look worried or deranged.

We just stand here for awhile.

"Marci wasn't supposed to get hurt Finnick." She says.

"I know." I say confused. I don't do well talking about this which she knows.

"You could use that as leverage for this." She says softly. She sounds ashamed for even suggesting this.

"I can't use my dead sister as leverage. It isn't right." I say

"I don't think Marci would've minded." She says

I breathe in and out shakily. Thinking of my sister. I know she wouldn't have minded but it isn't right. I know it wouldn't matter. I still wouldn't get to see Annie.

"I know… but… I can't… Annie… I… I...I need to be with her." Finnick says and the water gates open and I can't get it to stop.

"It going to be alright dear. Let's go to the kitchen. We don't want to wake Annie." She says gently. I look towards Annie on the couch and my chest tightens. I won't be able to see her. I won't be able to calm her when she has nightmares. I won't be there for her when she needs me. I won't be there. I need to be there for her. I also need her for my own selfish reasons. I need her and she needs me. My whole world revolves around her. Being away from her is going to hurt. Big time.

* * *

After I walked Annie home she goes to sleep on the couch quietly and I hold her. I look at her sleeping. She has that worry crease right between her eyebrows. It usually goes away when she is asleep. Usually.

I hear the stairs creek and know it is her Mom, Jenna. She probably wants some type of explanation as to why Annie and myself came home crying.

She walks towards the kitchen and sees us lying on the couch. I remove Annie carefully from my chest. I just can't not tell Annie's mother what is going on. Besides she will figure it out soon enough.

"Finnick I didn't mean to bother you or Annie."

"Annie's sleeping."

Jenna smiles. I think she liked that answer best, knowing that Annie still wakes up screaming a lot.

"Good. Is everything okay?" She asks. Although she knows everything isn't okay.

"Not really. Snow doesn't want the other victors speaking with each other."

"Oh well that should be..." She trails off realizing this applies to Annie and myself as well. "I'm sure this can all be worked out."

"That's what I thought but I don't think I can do anything."

"Finnick everything will be fine. I'm sure this will wear off."

"But-"

"Mmmh." We hear Annie from the other room.

I smile at Jenna and go back to Annie.

"I love you." I whisper into Annie's skin. I kiss her cheek and drift to sleep.

* * *

Everything is too much. The packing the saying goodbye. Even me showing Annie all those cute relationship moments didn't help. It helped her. Not me. It just made me sad thinking that I can't be around Annie. In one day I won't be able to see her everyday.

I look at Annie in the living room. She is staring off into space doing that weird opening and closing thing with her mouth.

"Finnick." Jenna says gently.

"Yes." I say.

"She's gonna be okay. I can take care of her." She says gently.

"I know. I just wish I could just see her."

"I know." She says.

Annie flinches a little. I walk over towards her and sit next to her. Her illusion is starting to shatter. She is coming back.

"Finnick." She says softly.

"Yes?"

She hugs me and leans on my shoulder.

"I don't like this. I don't like you leaving." She whispers. Still unaware that she wasn't totally here for twenty minutes. After what Mags told me, that I should tell Annie and how it might help her, I have actually considered this. But, then she will realize I have been lying to her for years. It doesn't usually last long. I can usually shatter the illusion before she is too far gone. But sometimes I can't do anything.

"I know." I kiss her cheek. "It's gonna be okay."

She closes her eyes and breathes in and out trying not to cry.

"Annie it's going to be okay." I say.

"Lying is a very unattractive trait Finnick."

I smile.

"I'm not lying. It is going to be okay... Eventually."

Annie rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything else. Tomorrow I will be leaving this beautiful girl. I will be leaving the person I care for most. It is feeling like someone is ripping my heart out.

* * *

**Annie's POV**

I head outside and a peacekeeper keeps following me around.

"What are you doing?" I ask fearful.

"Need to make sure you don't break the rules."

"So you're going to follow me around all day." I say glumly.

"That is correct." He smiles.

I groan. I want to cry.

I'm just going to see Lana. I couldn't stay inside anymore. Although, having a non wanted escort isn't very helpful.

I knock on the door and Lana answers quickly.

"Annie." She smiles and then looks the peacekeeper up and down. "I didn't know you were brining friends." She smiles and I roll my eyes.

"Are you going to wait outside?" I ask him.

"After I check the house yes, I will."

He says and walks past us.

"They are taking this very seriously." Lana says.

I nod.

"Alright all clear." The peacekeeper says and goes to wait outside.

"So how are you?" She smiles.

"Do you want the lies I tell or the truth."

"You're a terrible liar Annie." She smiles and so do I.

"I know." I say.

She looks at me waiting for my answer.

I sigh.

"It's weird not seeing someone you used to every day." I say. "I know Finnick goes to the Capitol for a few weeks but… this is different because I don't know when I will see him again." I close my eyes. "That fact scares me. What if I never see him again."

"Annie you have to go to the Capitol for the games."

"Yes but what if they still don't let me see him."

"Annie-

"I mean I have a babysitter already." I whisper.

"It's gonna be okay." She says and sits next to me. "We should go to the beach." She says and takes my hand.

"O...okay." I say confused.

She laces her hand with mine and we go to the beach. I don't pay attention to the District or other people. I just focus on our feet and Lana's grasp around my arm.

"If we go swimming will you go in with us?" Lana asks the peacekeeper.

"I actually can't swim Miss, but you can still go into the water. If I can see you" He says. I look at him stupidly, shouldn't a peacekeeper in Four know how to swim.

"Very well." Lana says and starts to lead me to the water.

"Lana it's fall and I don't like-

"I know silly." She smiles and turns around. She looks at the peacekeeper and he takes a seat on the ground. He isn't paying attention anymore. For all he knows I could be going to see Finnick.

Lana takes my hand and we run off somewhere.

"What's this?" I ask as we sit down at some cove.

"I wanted to talk alone." She smiles but it soon fades. "You thought you were gonna see him."

"I-

"I'm sorry Annie. I didn't think that if I was all mysterious you would think I was going to bring you to Finnick."

"It's stupid. I shouldn't think that."

"It's okay. I wasn't really thinking that."

"Like I said, terrible liar." She smiles.

I look around.

"Looking for something?" She asks confused.

"Not really just looking around." I say.

She nods and I sigh.

"Why do I feel like this?" I ask.

"Like what?" Lana asks.

"Sad, scared." I whisper.

"Well there are lots of reasons for that Annie, but everything will be okay." She says.

"I know… okay not really. I just meant seventeen years of my life I didn't know Finnick. For most of those years I thought he was an egoistic asshole. I've only known Finnick for almost five years and... now that I might not see him again it's like my world has come to a stand still. That doesn't make sense." I say.

"Annie it doesn't matter-

"I need to remember how I lived before I fell in love with Finnick."

"Well that is gonna be kinda hard if we are talking post Hunger Games you-

"I had a decent amount of months when I didn't like him and I was okay… mostly."

"Annie, he visited you almost everyday he was still making you feel better even when you didn't love him."

I breathe in and out shakily. I know she is right.

"I didn't see him 24/7 though. I just need to get over the hump of this and it will all be okay. Okay?" I say.

She nods.

"That sounds like a nice plan. I'll help you." She smiles. "Thanks for not asking though."

"About what?" I ask confused.

"Him."

"Let's just not bring it up at all." I say and she nods.. "The Johnny Appleseed festival is supposed to start in a few days or is that not happening because the District is..."

"I think it is." Lana smiles. "Oh that reminds me Jason and Finnick's Grandma wants to meet you."

"Is she in town?" I ask confused.

She shakes her head. "She lives in the boondocks of the District. She wants you to visit… sometime this week." Lana says in a strange tone.

"Are you going to come with me?" I ask.

She nods.

"That was the plan. I think it had to do with… Marci." She says.

"That's what I was thinking." I say.

Lana and I talk for awhile and then the peacekeeper escorts me home. I feel like he will attack me at any moment.

I walk through the door and flop down on the couch.

I'm trying to think of what I did before Finnick. Hung out with Lana, go to the District festivals, go swimming, and school. I never did finish school.

I know one thing I want to do. I couldn't do it with Finnick around because he would've gotten angry. I want to see him. I want to know how he is doing. I want to see Bryson.


	130. Chapter 130

**A/N: Holy crap 130 chapters! Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you are enjoying still! I also hope this is paced like terribly. Anyways thanks for reading. **

**Chapter 130**

I knock on the door and a tall man answers. He's lanky and his left eye has been injured. He has a black eye at least. I just hope it isn't from the events in the District.

"What can I do for you Miss. Cresta." The man smiles. Sometimes I am startled that people know my name. Then I remember I am a victor.

"I was told Bryson lives here. I wanted to speak with him."

He smiles.

"I'll ask if he wants to speak with you. He has been having trouble ever since... I'll get him for you."

I breathe in and then back out. I'm assuming that was his father.

I turn around and look at the peacekeeper that is following me around today.

He smiles. He doesn't look as intense as the one I had yesterday. I wonder if these ones just have nothing better to do. Or they aren't very good at their job. It doesn't matter. I still have one watching my every move.

I hear the door open and turn back around. It's Bryson. Bryson looks pale. I can tell he hasn't been sleeping.

"Annie." He says and smiles. He looks over my shoulder. He leans in and whispers "Are you in trouble?"

I shake my head.

"I was just curious to see how you were doing. I would've come sooner but Finnick-

"I understand. Okay not really. If Jason can see it why can't Finnick?"

"I don't know. They had different types of relationships and Finnick doesn't do well with death."

"Who does well with death Annie?" He asks and I feel stupid for saying that. Bryson smiles though which makes me feel better. "He doesn't know your here does he?" He asks and we start to walk off his front porch. I don't know where we are going but I don't care.

"I can't really talk with him right now." I motion towards the peacekeeper. "Things have changed."

"I'm sorry." He says. "Marci told me Finnick would've never liked me anyways. Too protective." He smiles

"I'm sure he would've liked you… eventually. He still can like you, you know. You don't have to throw them away just because-

"Jason comes over here but, I don't know why."

"He likes you."

"I think he feels sorry for me."

I shake my head.

"Jason's not that kind of person."

He shrugs.

"So how are you Annie?"

"I came here to ask you that."

"I'm not okay. I mean I killed my girlfriend." He says not meeting my gaze.

"You didn't kill her Bryson." I say and rub his back.

We stop walking.

"If you were in my shoes right now and if it was Finnick who died, would you feel guilty. Would you think it was your fault?"

I look down at the ground. Knowing he is right. I would feel like it was my fault.

"See." He says.

"Well... we did all we could." I smile.

"Yeah." He says. The answer isn't good enough for him but, I don't know what else to say.

We start walking again in silence.

"You know the thing that bothers me most is that I will move on from this. That I will find another girl and forget all about Marci."

"Bryson the fact you are considering this is saying you'll never forget about her."

"I guess." He says.

We walk awhile and sit down on a bench.

"You never answered my question Annie."

"What question?" I ask confused.

"Are you okay?"

"No." I whisper.

"Why?"

"All sorts of reasons." I say.

He nods.

"It has to get worse before it can get better right?"

"I think that is actually phased it has to get better before it gets worse."

"Whatever. Annie everything will be okay. I know you're probably worried that the Victory Tour is in a week-

"Not really I don't have to see them."

"Well we do have to watch on tv."

I shrug.

"It doesn't really matter." I say.

"I see. Well, I have to go. My parents... they have been extremely worried ever since Marci died." He says

I nod and head to his house. I start to head somewhere. I'm walking around aimlessly. I soon realize where I am going. I am going to that gazebo Finnick showed me. The place he said he would always think about me.

I need to think about Finnick.

I've only been here once so I stumble a few times. I get there and see someone standing near the gazebo. I also see another peacekeeper.

My mind locks it into place.

"Finnick!" I shout.

He turns and I see him. I can't make him out because he is too far away but I know it's him.

"Finnick!" I shout again.

"Come Miss. Cresta, you can't be here now."

I don't care I start moving towards him.

"Miss. Cresta do not take another step."

"Finnick." I whimper.

I feel a shooting pain in my side and then fall to the ground.

"Annie!" I hear.

My vision is going hazy.

"What did you do!" I hear Finnick shout.

"Took care of the problem."

I groan out. I've been hit with something.

"You can't hurt-" Finnick says his voice is turning muffled everything goes black.

I wake up confused. I feel sick. My body feels worn. Like I have run a marathon. I look around. I'm not at home. I'm in a strange room. I hear the door open and turn towards it.

"Finnick." I mutter because I think I see him. I feel a pinch in my side then everything goes black.

"Miss. Cresta." I hear Demetrius say. It sounds muffled and nonhuman but I can still understand.

I look around and realize I'm in one of the watch towers. I have no idea how I got here, all I know is I'm scared.

"Good. I wasn't sure how long that tranquilizer would last."

"You shot me with that?" I ask still hazy.

"You were breaking the rules. You were going to see Finnick."

"I didn't know he was there. We think alike. It was-

"I don't care Miss. Cresta. I don't want this to happen again."

"I might run into him again."

"Yes you might, but you can't shout his name and approach him. You just stay away. Do you understand?"

I nod.

"Do you understand?" He says with more force.

"I understand." I say.

"Good. Now I need you to understand that there has to be a punishment for the crime."

"But I didn't do anything."

"I don't care." He says and then I hear the door open. I see Finnick.

_What is he going to do to me._ I think. He is going to hurt me. He is going to do it in front of Finnick to hurt him.

I swallow hard.

I hope it isn't something terrible.

"Finnick." I whisper. Still lying on the ground. I may be awake but, that tranquilizer messed me up.

"You can't hurt her." Finnick says.

Demetrius rolls his eyes.

"You might want to read the fine print of that deal. The deal is I can't kill her. I can _hurt_ her."

Finnick tries to walk towards me but is being held back by two peacekeepers. Two large ones.

I see Demetrius take something out of the fire and then he presses it to my forearms. I scream loudly. Then feel cold water on my arm. He's branding me.


	131. Chapter 131

**Chapter 131**

I scream and grip my arm. I can feel the heat burning from it. I can also feel a little blood.

"Don't break the rules again or something worse will happen." He says and throws the metal instrument to the ground.

I'm writhing around on the floor like a child having a temper tantrum. I'm crying screaming and pounding my feet on the ground.

"Annie." I hear Finnick yell. I can hear a commotion around me but I'm in too much pain. I can barely keep my eyes open.

"Take him out. His punishment is over."

His was to see me getting hurt. It makes sense because they can't destroy Finnick's good looks more than they already have. He has so many scars on his chest and others I'm assuming from Michael.

I can't really think of anything but the blistering pain on my right forearm.

"Take her home." Demetrius says. I feel hands around me and am being walked home. More like dragged because I'm crying and whimpering the whole time.

"Here you are." A peacekeeper says and leaves me on my front porch.

I walk inside, more like stumble. I fall to the floor.

"Annie what's wrong?" I hear my Mom say. "Oh my goodness Annie what happened to your arm.

"I…"

"It doesn't matter. We need to get ice on that right away."

She does and I yelp from the contrast.

"It's hurts!" I yell.

She smooths my hair.

"I know sweetie." She says she starts to put some types of cream and disinfectant on it which makes the pain worse.

I hear the door open and scream.

"Annie it's just me." Lana says and sits next to me.

"Get her to stand. We can get her to the couch." My Mom says.

She puts a bag of ice on my arm and holds it there.

"At least the bleeding has stopped." She says and kisses my forehead.

Lana holds my other hand.

"Do you know what happened Lana?" My Mom asks gently. I'm too upset to speak. I'm still in too much pain.

"They saw each other on a coincidence. Demetrius thought it was planned. Annie tried to run towards him. She shouted his name. They tazed her or something and took her to one of the watch towers. They brought Finnick there so he could watch as they burned her." Lana rubs my back. "I don't think they can hurt Finnick like that. He still has to look nice."

"If they hurt her. They hurt Finnick." My mom whispers as she wraps her arms around me.

"I think so." Lana says. I don't know how Lana would know all of this. I'm assuming Finnick told Jason or probably yelled and Jason told Lana so she would come to me. I don't think Jason _can_ come and see me.

"Annie take this it will make you feel better." She says and gives me some pain pills.

I swallow them hoping the fire on my arm will go out but, it doesn't. I get drowsy quickly. I'm still in pain but thankfully I fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up and my arm still feels on fire.

"Mommy." I croak out. I may be twenty two but, there are times when I feel it is alright to call her that. It is usually when I am very upset or sick. This time I am hurt and upset.

She walks towards me.

"Annie do you feel better?" She asks worried.

"A little bit."

She nods.

"Let me get you more ice." She says and kisses my forehead. She comes back and sits down. She strokes my hair and I lean on her shoulder.

"We should change your bandage too Annie." She kisses my forehead.

I nod.

"It will be okay." She whispers and starts to unravel the gauze that was on my arm.

"Oh my god!" I shout as I see it. I wasn't really looking before too much pain. I knew he pressed something to my arm but, I didn't think it was anything in particular.

"It's okay Annie." She kisses my forehead and presses the ice to my burn. A burn that will be there for the rest of my life. It's a perfect circle with an S in the middle. Snow has this on his stationary. I know it isn't a coincidence. Is he trying to prove a point? That he owns me or something. Well he does. He does own me. He owns all of us.

"It's going to heal soon Annie. Then it won't hurt as bad." She says and rubs my back.

"It will always be there." I whisper.

"Don't think about it now sweetie." She says and kisses my forehead.

I hear a knock on the door and my body stiffens.

"It's okay sweetie. Lana said Jason was going to come over."

I vaguely remember Lana being here. I was in white hot pain that's probably why I don't remember.

My Mom goes to open the door and sure enough it is Jason.

"Here Finnick wanted you to have this." He says and places it in my Mom's hand. It's some type of container.

My mom comes over and opens the jar. It smells strong. It's medicine. She rubs it on the burn and I wince at first but then it feels better.

"How did Finnick get this? It's only made in the Capitol." My Mom asks surprised.

"Finnick gets lots of things from his admirers." Jason says and looks at me. I know this. That's how Finnick got that death syrup.

Jason smiles.

"You okay Annie?" He asks.

"My arm hurts." I whimper.

He nods and kneels in front of me.

"I'm sure you'll feel better soon." He says.

I sniffle. Jason is a good person and I'm sure he wants to know I'm okay but I know the real reason.

"He wants to know how bad?" I sniffle.

Jason nods.

"Just tell him I'm okay." I whisper.

"Annie we both know he is going to want more information than that." He smiles and I know that's true.

I have my arm pressed to my chest. I don't want him to see. I don't want anyone to see.

My mom sits next to me and wraps her arm around me. I lean on her shoulder.

"You can show him sweetie." She whispers.

"I don't want Finnick to know how bad it is." I whimper.

My Mom kisses my temple.

"It's okay Annie. But we all know he is going to find out one way or another." She says. I do know and he will probably try to come here to find out. Although the rational part of his brain would stop him before he did. Because he know this would happen again.

I swallow hard.

I remove my hand from my chest and show Jason.

"Okay." He says. He sounds alarmed. "Finnick wanted me to give you something. Besides the burn medicine." He says with a smile.

He gives me a few purple flowers and I smile. He also gives me a note.

I open it. It's simple really but it makes me feel better.

_I love you._ Is all it says. I can see wet spots on the paper. He probably couldn't write anything else.

"Tell him I love him too." I say. Jason nods.

Water starts to drip down my arm from the ice.

"Let me get you a towel." My mom says and kisses my temple. She stands up and heads to the kitchen.

"Is he okay?" I ask. I haven't really been able to get any information about him. I sound very eager but don't care.

Jason smiles.

"As well as I think you are. After today though he has been more excessive." He moves his hand to the back of his neck. "He'll be okay though."

"Excessive? What does that mean?" I ask worried.

"He broke a few things out of anger and crying." He clears his throat "But for the most part he is alright. Well you know what I mean." He takes my hand and holds it. I know this feeling. He is about to tell me something I won't like.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Annie, I don't think I can come over here. I mean they will know I'm talking with each of you. They will think information is being passed back and forth."

"But-

"I know Annie." He says and draws circles on my hand just like Finnick does.

"I'm glad you're alright." He smiles. "I also wish this wasn't happening."

I nod.

"Bad things always happen to good people."

"Annie that's not-

"It's because good people are too nice to be bad. The moral code of conduct is the greatest weakness." I say.

"Not always Annie."

"I know you're right. I just want to know he is alright."

"He's doing fine." Jason's says again.

"Yeah so am." I say somewhat sarcastically.

Jason nods.

"That medicine will make your burn heal right up." Jason says.

"It's never going to heal. That symbol is burned into my skin. I can't even look at my own arm." I mutter.

"Cover it with something then." He smiles.

"Okay." I sniffle.

"Do you want me to tell him anything else."

I let go of his hand and push my knees to my chest.

I shake my head.

"No." I say and a few tears fall out.

"Annie whatever it is you can tell me." He says gently.

"I can't tell you because I know it will make Finnick feel worse." I start crying "Because right now all I want is for him to hug me." I say.

"It's okay Annie. It's going to be alright." He says. He sits next to me on the couch and wraps an arm around me. "It's going to be alright." He says again and rubs my shoulder.

My mom comes back with the bag of ice wrapped in a towel. We all just sit here in silence. I lean on Jason's shoulder while my Mom makes sure the ice is pressed to my skin.

* * *

**FINNICK'S POV**

I wake up and roll over. I miss the body heat that was always next to me. I miss Annie. I jump awake by the blaring alarm that is going off.

"Ughhh." I say and unplug the thing. I would toss it across the room but, I don't want Gran to go out and by a new one... again.

I hear the door open and know what to expect.

"Finnick time to wake up." I hear my Gran say.

"Gran, it's 9:30 in the morning." I say annoyed.

"Yes, that seems like a decent time to wake up." She says with a smile.

I roll my eyes and turn over.

"Finnick I will not let you sit in bed all day."

"I wouldn't be up at this god awful hour if I was with Annie anyways."

She smiles.

"Well, Annie was spoiling you. Besides, if I keep getting you up this early you won't be such a grouch in the morning."

I sigh. She does this every morning. I know what is coming next but I roll over anyways.

She takes the blanket off the bed and throws it to the floor.

"Wake up. I made you breakfast." She says.

I groan.

Jason comes in, in twenty minutes.

"Dude we can't keep doing this." He says.

"Then stop waking me up. I've never been a morning person." I say annoyed.

"Gran just wants to make sure you are fine."

"Well I'm not."

Jason rolls his eyes.

"At least you are honest. Now get up." He says and slaps my back.

I groan again.

Annie would've never done something so grotesque just to make sure I wouldn't mope around all day.

"Annie's not here." I mutter. I don't think I'm sad anymore just mad. Mad at lots of people.

I eventually get up because I know they will just come back. I wonder if they would throw cold water on me. That would not be okay. I'm sure they both have the common sense not to do that.

I walk downstiars and see the breakfast that she has made. It's pancakes. I smile. Thinking of Annie's favorite breakfast. Banana pancakes.

"Finnick." Gran says.

"Yes?"

"You were staring off into the distance. Are you okay?" I say.

"Yeah I was just thinking about how Annie loves banana pancakes."

"I can make you those sweetie. Although I thought you hated bananas."

"I do. They are repulsive but, Annie loves them and I am always happy to make them for her." I say.

"That's nice Finnick." She says.

I sit down at the table and start to eat. I take a sip of orange juice.

Once I finish breakfast I know I want to leave the house. It feels so small in this house. I just need to get out.

"Gran." I say and she turns towards me.

"Yes?" She asks.

"I was going to leave the house today. I don't want you to worry. Besides, I will have my peacekeeper escort to make sure I don't do anything stupid."

She has a look of disapproval in her eyes.

"I need to be alone." I say.

She sighs deeply.

"Okay but, if you're not back in three hours I will come looking for you." She says firmly.

"Don't worry Gran I-

"I can worry all I want Finnick. I can finally be around you all the time now. So if something happens to you. I will feel responsible." She says and hugs me.

I smile.

"Don't worry nothing is going to happen to me and you shouldn't feel guilty if something does."

She smiles but looks sad.

"Alright." She says. I understand why she is sad. For the longest time she was always out of reach to take care of me. Now that she can again she doesn't want me to be out of her sight. Especially when I am somewhat suicidal.

I get dressed and leave the house. I head to the gazebo I went to so many times to think about Annie. That is what I am doing now. I'm going to think about Annie. That spot is strictly for thinking about Annie. Well, mostly, other things do creep up but, I go there to think of Annie.

I step outside and see the peacekeeper that will be escorting me today. I don't bother to acknowledge them because that is what they want. I'm just trying to act like this isn't affecting me at all. Which it is but, I can't show that because then Snow thinks he is winning and I can't give him that pleasure.

I walk on the worn down path to the gazebo. I wonder what the purpose for this was. I don't think it was in the plans of Victror's Village and yet here it stands. It is pretty far away.

I get there and sit down. I close my eyes and think about Annie. I must've been thinking about her a great deal because I can hear her call my name.

"Finnick!" I hear again. I turn around and see her. She is with her 'escort' as well. I don't think she knew I would be here. She probably wanted to be here to be close to me or think about me.

I step off the gazebo but then feel the peacekeepers arm on my chest.

"Don't. If you go near her, it will make it worse." He says gently. I think this one is alright. Unlike the others who just demand things. I know he is right. It is painful when she's right there. I wish she was a little closer so I could see her face but, this is good enough. However, she doesn't stay still she starts coming towards me.

"Annie." I whisper somewhere between disapproval and awe. A few seconds later I see her fall to the ground with the peacekeeper pulling out some type of tranquilizer gun.

"Annie!" I shout this time and start running towards her not caring the pleas from my peacekeeper to stay put. "What did you do!" I shout when I am a few feet away.

"Mr. Odair she was breaking the rules." The peacekeeper snarls.

She doesn't look passed out or asleep she looks dead. Although her limbs are twitching a little so I know she is alive.

"In fact you shouldn't be this close either." He says. I know what he is going to do before he does so I'm not surprised when I feel a sting on my leg.

* * *

I wake up and feel hazy. It looks like I'm in a closet but, it has a window. I look out it and see a good high up view of the District. I'm in one of the watch towers and if I had to bet my life, I would bet this is the one Demetrius is in charge of.

"Good you're awake." Demetrius snarls. "I need to show you something." He say with a sly smile. I'm not going to like this. Then again being knocked out and dragged somewhere isn't exactly nice either.

I get taken to the main room I don't know what to expect. He gives me a shove and I see what he wanted to show me. It's Annie on the ground. I rush to her but, am stopped by his 'guards'.

"I said look not touch Mr. Odair." He says.

"But, she's right there I need-

"Quiet." He says and smiles again.

I hear Annie mutter something that sounds like my name. They stick something in her probably to keep her passed out. I am furious. It's not like I could do something. Even if I did I know I would regret it soon there after.

"Now I don't know if you were listening to me in that meeting but, I said if you saw any of the other victors I would get to pick the punishment. Now as per President Snow's request I can't mangle you or anything. So I thought what is the only way to punish someone if they can't be beaten but, then I though oh I thought Finnick." He smiles and motions towards Annie. "If I hurt this girl you will have deep deep guilt for whatever punishment I give her. I have just the thing in mind to." He smiles and picks up a long metal instrument that has a circle and some design on the end. He places it in a fire. I soon pick up on what he is going to do to her.

"Take him away." Demetrius says again and I am taken back to that closet. It feels like I'm in here for a century before they open. I hear Demetrius talking. It sounds very heated.

"Do you understand?" He says.

I don't hear an answer.

"Do you understand." He say again. It sounds like a threat.

"I understand." I hear Annie say.

"Good. Now I need you to understand that there has to be a punishment for the crime."

"But I didn't do anything." Annie says. It sounds like she is going to cry from terror.

"I don't care." He says. The door is opening and I'm being dragged to the main room. I see Annie on the floor. She looks at me and looks relieved. I smile a little too but, then I see Demetrius walking back to that fire. Then I remember what he is going to do to her.

"You can't hurt her." I say although I know it is no use.

Demetrius rolls his eyes.

"You might want to read the fine print of that deal. The deal is I can't kill her. I can _hurt_ her."

I do a strange growl. That is not what Snow told me when I basically sold my soul to him.

I try to walk past him as he gets closer and closer to her. The metal instrument is now a dull orange on the bottom and just like I thought he sticks it to Annie's arm. Marking her... forever.

Annie starts screaming and crying. I try to go over to her again but, it is no use. I just have to see her writhe around the floor in pain.

"Annie!" I yell.

"Take him out his punishment is over." Demetrius says. I am taken from the room but, not back to the closet. To a peacekeeper who basically drags me back home.

I can't really process what is happening. Annie probably just got burned badly not _just_ burned branded. I wonder what the design was. There was something else besides a circle. I just didn't look close enough... I didn't want to. I will find out eventually but, that isn't good enough.

I get thrown on my porch then the peacekeeper goes to stand to my door.

I walk inside.

"Finnick. I was getting worried. Is everything alright?" Gran asks.

I shake my head.

"No... Annie... they..." _Do not cry. _I think. I have shed too many tears too many.

"Finnick what's wrong?" She asks more concerned.

My throat muscles get tight and I can't stop it. My hands turn to fist and I start to break useless objects because of the anger of what Snow is doing to her.

I hear Jason come downstairs.

"Finnick stop." Jason says

"I'm not in a fit of rage!" I shout.

"I think all the broken things would disagree. Sit down." Jason orders. I don't want to but he shoves me into a chair.

"Hey." I say angrily.

"Finnick you can't just break stuff when you are angry."

"My house I could set the thing on fire if I wanted to." I say although I don't know if that is true or not. I don't want to find out.

"Finnick." Gran says more gently. "What happened?" She asks.

I breathe in and out deeply. I close my eyes.

_Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not cry._

My will power must not be that strong because tears start to leave my eyes.

"Finnick it will be alright." She says.

I open my eyes.

"They burned her. They branded her with something just because she accidentally ran into me. I need to see her but, can't because I know they will do something to _her. _That is my 'punishment' if I break the rules Annie gets hurt." I mutter.

"It's gonna be okay." Jason says "And since you can't see her. I will." Jason says.

"Okay but, I want you to give her something." I say and head to the chest in the living room. It's supplies I get from the people who purchase me. Although, I really charge for secrets but, people give me other things. I know there is one _gift _in here Annie could use. Medicine from the Capitol. Strong burn medicine.

I give Jason this, some of the almost dead lavender flowers, and a note. I couldn't think of what to write. So I just write the first thing that comes to mind. _I love you_. And I do. I do. All I want to do is comfort her. Hold her but, I can't. That is the worst punishment of all.


	132. Chapter 132

**Chapter 132**

"Hello my injured friend." I hear Lana say as she sits next to me.

I smile. It's been a few days but, my arm still hurts. It has started to scab over and looks gross but, that does mean it is healing... I think.

"Hi." I say softly.

"You're okay." She says and hugs me.

"It still hurts." I whisper.

"Do you think it is infected?" She asks worried.

I let out a laugh.

"What?" She asks slightly offended.

"Please my mom has been coating it with lots of meds besides that crap Finnick gave me is strong. It's almost all healed. Well…" I trail off.

"Don't worry it will leave a cool scar."

"It's not the kind I want." I say.

"Annie you have to-

"Just let me show you." I say. I take her hand and lead her to my bedroom. She bounces on the bed immediately. She always has done this.

I open Finnick's night stand drawer and pull out one of the many summoning messages Finnick has gotten. It is usually a phone call but sometimes he gets both. I guess Snow just likes to shove it in his face even more.

I pull it out and give it to her.

"You're giving me a schedule on when to report to the Capitol?" Lana says confused.

"Top left corner." I say. Her eyes move to it and then she frowns.

"Oh." She says and puts the paper down. "It will be fine Annie." She says.

I flop down on the bed and lie next to her.

"I really wish people would stop telling me that." She doesn't respond so I take the paper from her to put it back in the drawer.

I open it and try to put it where I found it. This drawer looks strangely organized which is strange because Finnick doesn't usually care. I pick up the stack of all of them. I'm curious to why Finnick keeps them. He has so many. If it were me I would want to get rid of them. I'm about to close the drawer when I notice something. I move every around not caring that I'm messing it up. Finnick doesn't live here anymore. Finnick doesn't live here anymore I think sadly.

"Annie what are you doing?" Lana says and sits up. I take the drawer out and dump everything on the bed. I don't usually go into his drawer so it makes sense that I wouldn't notice it.

"It has a false back." She says.

"Yes it does." I say as I notice the corner and the little open latch on the side.

"You gonna open it?" Lana asks.

Part of me knows I shouldn't because Finnick doesn't want me to look around for his secretive things. But if he is stupid enough to put something in our bedroom then it deserves to be opened. It's not like when I found that key when I was doing laundry. For all I know it might just be more files. If this was a normal thing I would just think it was dirty magazines but Finnick gets more than enough. Besides he wouldn't throw away money for that stuff.

"Annie." Lana says again.

"Mmmh?"

"You gonna open it?"

"Should I?" I ask.

"Your house your stuff besides it is probably empty by now. I mean... when he left he probably took it with him. If it was so important for him to hide he wouldn't have forgotten it."

I nod and pull the back off but it isn't empty.

"Dammit Finnick." I want to shout.

There are a great deal of knives in his draw lots of them throwing. Why he needs these are beyond me. He leaves one on the night stand for crying out loud.

"Boyfriend likes the weapons." Lana says.

I roll my eyes.

"If that is all that was in here. I understand why he wouldn't take it. I mean I'm sure he had knives at his other house." She says.

I nod but that's not all there is in here.

"There's a cell phone and a key to something." I say and pull them out.

I set them on the bed as well. If people are listening to what we are saying, how can he have this stuff. Maybe they are just listening and not watching.

"Annie." Lana says.

"What?" I ask.

"There's two missed calls and a voice mail."

"So?"

"Don't you want to listen?" She asks.

"I want to but I don't think I should..."

"Well if you won't I will."

"No Lana." I say and take it from her hand.

"Why?"

"Because we don't know what it is used for. It could just be a work phone anyways."

"Then why would he hide it?"

I shrug.

"I want to. listen, just the voicemail at least." She says.

"It's probably password protected. Finnick isn't that stupid."

Lana motions around.

"Clearly."

I sigh.

"You can try." I say.

She does.

"Okay it's password protected let's just see if you know the numbers." Lana says and hands me the phone.

I roll my eyes but look anyways.

"This one has the Capitol area code. I point to the first one and this one is… Johanna's number and the last one is… It's a District Twelve area code."

"Why can't he just call people from the house phone?" She asks.

"Those don't call to other Districts anymore or to others victors house."

I look at the call history and he was talking with people in that time frame. Johanna, Esmeralda, Beetee, District 12, Blake, a Capitol number, Bleu, and Mags.

Some are longer than others. The call with Bleu was only thirty seconds. With the Capitol it was hours. with Mags and Johanna at least an hour. Esmeralda not that long that only thirty minutes. But the one to Blake was only five minutes.

_I don't know much more than you do Annie_. Does this have to do with that secret? Probably since Blake said he gets told the bare minimum

I close the phone and put it down on the bed gingerly.

"So? Anything?" She ask egeraly.

"Nothing I'm going to pursue."

She nods.

"What about this?" She holds up the key.

"I probably won't find what it unlocks anyways."

"You could at least try. If it's in this house it would be in the last place you would look."

_Go to the creepy back room Annie_ I remember what Marci said in my… imagination.

I take the key from Lana's hand and head right there.

There's nothing in this room or so I thought. I don't go back here enough to know or not. Lana closes the door a I flich.

"Don't do that." I say.

"Annie-

"There is a reason I call this the creepy back room-

"Annie-

"What?"

She points across the room and there it is clear as day a key hole. I also notice it isn't as dusty around it. A picture was there. If Finnick was hiding this why would he take the picture with him.

The drawer. The phone. The wall. The key.

"He wanted you to find this." I whisper. Probably not the phone. Unless… unless...

"Give me that." I say and take the phone from Lana's hand. I go to contacts. It's in alphabetical order. There's one that is labeled _spare phone_ I hit the call button. I get the feeling I shouldn't be doing this but on the other hand I feel like I should be. Finnick isn't that stupid if he is trying to hide something he would do a better job. But, how would he know I would go through that drawer. It's not like I ever open it. It's his junk drawer. I-

The ringing stops and someone has answered. I don't know if I should say hello. I don't know even know how I'm talking to.

"Going through my things Cresta tsk tsk." I hear Finnick say and I can tell he is smiling.


	133. Chapter 133

**Chapter 133**

"Don't say my name." Finnick says quickly. "If you are at home that is."

"Why can you then?" I say jealous.

"Because I'm not at home."

"Well what about your..." I can't say peacekeeper if people are listening. They would know I'm talking to Finnick. "_Friend._" He should know what I mean.

"Don't worry he won't report me, we actually know each other." Finnick says.

"Why did you do this? Especially in a place where I wouldn't look."

"I knew you would eventually. Why did you look?" He asks smiling.

"I wanted to show Lana one of your summoning letters."

"I didn't think that would be the reason you looked in there." He says confused but, I can tell he is smiling.

"Well, I wanted to show her Snow's insignia."

"Why?" Finnick asks confused.

I don't know how to answer this without him feeling guilty.

"Annie?" He says worried.

"Because that is what is burned into my skin. That's what Demetrius... branded into my skin." I whisper. I'm surprised Jason didn't tell him this. Then again he might not have known it was Snow's insignia.

"Oh." He says softly.

"It's okay." I say. Although it isn't really.

"Are you okay? Is that stuff healing you up? Are you in pain sill Annie beacuse-

"I'm fine... that stuff is working... and... I don't know." I say truthfully.

"Okay." He says.

"Fin...e" I finish off because like he said I shouldn't say his name.

"Very subtle." He laughs.

"Shut up." I mutter.

"Oh have I missed you so." He says.

"So what is this locking?" I say turning the key in my hand.

"Just a closet."

"What's inside the closet?"

"Cleaning supplies. It's not even locked Annie." He says.

I go over to open it and he is right. I roll my eyes.

"How can I be so sure you aren't lying?"

"Then lock the door."

I do.

"What if it goes somewhere else and why would you hide a picture behind it?"

"Did Lana tell you to see my Grandmother?" Finnick says changing the subject.

I sigh. There really is something in there he is or was hiding.

"Yes she did."

"And..."

Lana is making hand gestures to hand the phone to her.

"She wants to talk to you. Lana I mean."

"Alright."

"Don't worry I have it all set up. The boat tickets we have leave tomorrow... Yes I will tell her... Yes I'm sure she is... Jesus she's fine... Why would she lie to you about that?... She isn't even a good liar..." Lana rolls her eyes. "Isn't like the first step in any relationship trust?"

I get the feeling they stopped talking about his Grandma and they are now talking about me.

"I do trust her." I hear Finnick say and I smile.

Lana tosses the phone back towards me.

"Why does your Grandmother want to see me Finnick?"

"Oh... you know to meet you."

"I..." I would say his name in my disapproving tone but, can't.

Finnick laughs.

I growl because once again I can't say his name.

"Okay, okay. It's not funny anymore."

"Don't lie."

"Alright it is a little bit."

"Back to my original question."

"Oh right, you'll just see when you get there."

"I've never met her or seen any pictures of her."

"Have you seen any pictures of Pearl either?"

"Fair enough." I say because I haven't.

"See. She just wants to talk and show you things... I feel like I should mention that she left to get away from lots of people."

"So?"

"Annie. She can come off as intense."

"Like in a bad way?" I ask.

"Depends how you take what she says."

I sigh.

"Don't worry Annie. It will be fine."

"Lana says she hasn't met her either. Why can't your brother go with us?" I ask somewhat annoyed.

"Jason has... things to take care of." He says vaguely._  
_

"Well, you're scaring me a little about your Grandmother."

"Don't worry Annie I'm sure you and Lana can take her." He teases.

I sigh.

"Marci said she would visit her more than Pearl." I say.

"She would, she didn't want her to get lonely and she liked Marci the best. Something about how she reminded her of my Dad. The point is Annie she is nice even though she might seem like it at first."

"How might that be?"

"Intense... cold... far away. She changed after my Dad died. Which is why she moved far, far away. She isn't like Michael though" He says.

"You're not selling her very well."

"Well, would you rather I lie?"

"No." I mutter. "You are making me nervous. Do I have to go?"

"Yes." He says quickly and clears his throat. "I mean this is important... to me."

I roll my eyes.

"You'll understand once you are there. Annie, everything will be alright." He says.

I sigh.

"Your Grandma got a first name."

He laughs.

"Tiffany. Tiffany Odair. There aren't many people on the island. Besides, she said she would be at the docks waiting for you."

"Okay. It's not like I have a choice right?"

"Annie." He says in a disproving tone.

"I just wish you could come with me."

"Me too. You'll be fine though. Call me when you get there." He says.

"Will I be able to?"

"Yes, you can use her phone but, have Lana do the talking. The phones are tapped if you didn't pick that up in the meeting." Finnick says.

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

"Didn't want to worry you." He says and I think he is lying.

"Well, what if I talked to someone from a different District and got them in trouble."

"Who did you talk to?" He asks seriously.

"I called Blake when you were gone once-

"What did he say?" He asks nervous.

"Nothing really... I was just curious... he actually called me."

"I see." Finnick says very calculated.

"It was when you were gone for a month. He wanted to make sure I was okay."

"Okay." Finnick says more relaxed.

"Speaking of phones, how often can I use this thing?" I ask.

"Not everyday."

I sigh.

"I"ll call you... unless something happens to you then **please **call." He says worried.

"Uhh" It's hard having a conversation where I can't say his name. I could leave the house but, I get the feeling I'm not supposed to have a phone. "I'm fine don't worry about me."

"You're hurt... I think I can worry."

I smile.

"I'm healing right up."

"Physically yes but, knowing that mark will always be on you and what it means... Annie"

"Stop talking." I say feeling angry. If he is trying to make me feel better he shouldn't be talking about it. Not like this anyways.

"I'm sorry. I love you."

"I-

"You can't say it back. They will assume you are talking to me."

I sigh.

"Can I say something else then?"

"If you can think of something then yes."

"I'm infatuated by you." I would say his name but can't.

"So smart. Even smarter than me."

"That's not a very hard task to accomplish." I say.

"Excuse me Annie Cresta. Do not insult me."

"Ha ha." I say. "Are you okay though? Ermmm I got told you weren't." If I can't say his name I doubt I can say his brothers.

"For the most part. I want to hug you. I want to kiss that mark so it will make you feel better."

I smile.

"I would like that but, you're not doing anything stupid are you..."

It's silent.

"Are you still there?" I know he is but, I can't say his name.

"I'm here. I haven't done anything stupid..."

"You've thought about it?" I whisper and it isn't a question why else wouldn't he answer me right away.

"There was a lapse in judgement but, I'm okay now."

"I'm glad. I'm infatuated by you."

He chuckles.

"I love you too."

"I was forgetting what you sounded like." I whisper.

"Me as well." He says. "I should get going."

"Wait." I say.

"Yes?" He says in that voice he uses on all his 'fans'

I roll my eyes.

"What if someone else calls?"

"Don't worry I took care of that problem already. But, if someone does call, Annie please don't answer it." He says firmly.

"Whatever you want." I say.

"I'll remember that when I see you again. Which I will Annie. I will see you again."

"I know you will." I whisper and then the phone line goes dead.

"You okay?" I hear Lana ask me.

I nod.

"Just glad I got to hear him again." I say with a giddy smile. If I can hear him again that means I must be able to see him again... eventually. I am still curious as why he wants met to see his Grandmother so much. I will find out soon. I just wonder what he meant by intense.


	134. Chapter 134

**Chapter 134**

"Annie." I hear my Mom say gently. I feel her stroke my hair.

I yawn.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"You gotta get up." She kisses my forehead. "Lana will be here soon so you can leave."

I groan and put a pillow over of my head. I don't want to go. I'm nervous about seeing Finnick's Grandmother and I'm nervous about traveling to the outskirts of the District. I've never been there. I don't know what to expect.

"It will be fine Annie." She takes the pillow off my head and kisses my forehead. "Remember to put that creme on your burn."

"I know." I whisper and run my fingers over the scar. It is pretty much healed but I hate looking at it. I'm trying to find something to cover it like Jason suggested but can't figure out what.

A few hours later I hear a knock on the door and know it is Lana. She said we would be there for three days not including travel. I am curious as to what we are going to be doing that will last three days.

I answer the door.

"Hey!" She says while holding her suitcase

"Hey." I say not very enthused.

She smiles.

"Don't worry it's going to be fine." She says and hugs me. I want to believe her. I know it isn't as bad as I am thinking.

We head down to the docks and set sail. Our journey takes almost all day and I'm nervous the whole time.

"Okay we're heading into the harbor. Let's get ready Annie." Lana smiles. She is very excited about this. I don't know why she isn't as nervous as I am. She heard Finnick talking to me about his Grandmother. I think I am just expecting the worse. She probably isn't the demon I think she is.

We get off the ship and there is only one person waiting at the docks.

"That must be her." Lana whispers

"I guess." I say as we walk closer to her

I look at the woman in front of me. She has broad shoulders and a strange glaze in her eyes. Her hair is mostly grey with some streaks of brown. It is angled downwards to her shoulders. Her eyes are a dark, dark blue. More like blue black. If Finnick wouldn't have told me she was intense I wouldn't feel afraid right now or think she was going to snap me like a twig.

"You must be Lana and you're Annie." She says and studies me. Her voice is very on point. She must be articulate.

"You will be alright when you're here." She asks looking only at me.

"Well-"

"I wasn't asking I was telling." She interrupts. A shiver runs down my spine. Now I understand. Intense. "Keep up. I don't want it to be dark by the time we get back." She says as she walks off.

"This person is related to Finnick and Jason?" Lana whispers.

"Yes I am. I may be old but not deaf now please hurry. I told Finnick we would be home by eight and I don't want him to worry." She says. When she talks about Finnick I can hear the gentleness in her voice. She must not be totally cold.

Lana and I walk behind her at a steady pace.

I look around and see that most of this place is beach. The land looks barren but I do see a decent amount of shipping bins. There must be good fishing opportunities out here.

We get to her house in a little bit.

"Here. Phones in there." She motions towards the kitchen. "Please call Finnick. We are already a little late and he worries so much." She smiles. "He always has and that's a good thing. I love that boy." She smiles.

I smile. I can tell she loves Finnick and I guess that is all that matters.

"Lana let's go, you have to do the talking." I tell her as we walk towards the kitchen.

I'm surprised. This kitchen is big. The walls are a soft yellow and she has a big table. A table I would imagine that is used for big family gatherings, but Finnick said she doesn't really like people. Maybe she them all over for Christmas or something.

I dial Finnick's house number and it rings only once.

"Hi Finnick." Lana says.

I hear him sigh in relief.

"Good you're there is everything alright?" He says rushed.

"For the most part." Lana says.

"Good that's good." Finnick says. He sounds distracted. I reach for the phone but Lana shoves me away. She knows it's for the best. I can't talk with him. We will both regret it. My fingers circle around the scar.

"Okay well I'm glad you're alright. Goodbye." Finnick says. Lana goes to talk with Jason. I leave the kitchen and look around the house. It's strangely big. Not that many people live here so I wonder how housing and expenses work.

Her house doesn't look very sentimental. It looks cold and plain.

"Annie let me show you to your room." Tiffany says.

She leads me upstairs. When I'm walking upstairs it seems warmer. I see pictures on the wall. I see artworks and nice personal touches.

"Here we are. This is the room Finnick usually stays in when he comes here." She says indifferent and leads me to the room.

It's a pale blue with some pictures here and there. "Goodnight Annie." She says.

"Mrs. Odair." I say she stops walking and turns around.

"It's Tiffany don't call me that agin." She says and the hairs on my neck stand up. What is it about this woman that makes me so nervous.

"I… I...

"Speak." She says.

I sigh.

"I just wanted to say thanks for this."

She smiles.

"You're as sweet as sugar." She says and I can't tell if she is being sincere or not.

"Thank you." I say anyways.

"You're welcome. But you are really just here because Finnick's wants me to show you something." She smiles. "And because I love him. Besides, I know this will help his head right now."

"His head?" I ask confused.

"You know... how he obsessives over certain things. I don't like seeing him like that." I believe her when she says this but she isn't really saying it with joy or happiness. Not lovingly like Pearl does but she isn't Pearl. They seem like they are on opposite ends of the spectrum

"He does doesn't he." I say.

"He can always find the right distraction." Her eyes linger on me. "Which is more than most can say."

"I… I guess." I say. The fact that she implied I'm _just_ a distraction for Finnick makes me angry.

"Goodnight Annie." She says. She puts her hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. I think she smiles and then leaves the room.

I hear the door creak and think it is Tiffany but then I see Lana.

"Hey." She smiles.

"You get your own room?"

She nods.

"Jason okay?" I ask.

"Yes." She smiles. "So is Finnick." She adds because she knows I was still worried.

"Okay. Did you want something?" I ask.

"Just wanted to make sure you're alright." She smiles.

"I am."

"Sooooo what do you think of Tiffany?" Lana whispers.

"She makes me feel uncomfortable. I think she is trying to be nice but it comes off as not." I say.

Lana shrugs.

"Jason and Finnick said she changed once her son died."

"I guess." I mumble.

"If Finnick died would you change?" She asks but she already knows the answer.

I sigh.

"Probably."

She rises her eyebrows.

"Okay I would a lot."

"So don't blame her for it."

"I won't." I say.

She nods.

"Why do you think they wanted us to come here?" Lana asks.

"To meet her remember." I say smiling. We both know that isn't the reason.

Lana rolls her eyes.

"I mean there has to be an actual reason." She says

I sigh

"I guess we will wait till morning." I say.

She nods.

"Annie." She says more seriously.

"Yes?" I ask.

"If you need someone because of nightmares please come see me."

"I will and if you hear me screaming, please come in here."

"Will do." She smiles.

She leaves and I lay back on the bed. It is comfortable. It makes me feel better that this is the room Finnick usually lays in. I roll over on my side and draw circles on the sheets. Wondering what Finnick wants me to see so badly.


	135. Chapter 135

**Chapter 135**

I wake up and stretch. At first I am confused as to where I am but, then I remember I'm at Finnick's Grandmothers house for some mystery reason. I'm sure I will find out today. I just hope it isn't something terrible because, I don't think I can take anymore terrible news.

I stand up and head to the bathroom down the hall which apparently shared by Finnick and Jason. When I get there I see Lana washing her face. I walk in and she makes a hello nod.

I go to the other sink and open the bathroom cabinet that Lana and I are sharing, or rather Finnick and Jason. I open the bathroom cupboard which just has toothpaste, toothbrushes, floss, and some face wash.

It isn't very stocked. Which surprises me because the one at always is home. Then again Finnick and I shared and most of it was mine.

"Annie you got a clean toothbrush in yours." Lana says.

"Yeah." I say. I open the package and open it, I then toss her one.

"Finnick's is so empty." Lana says. Looking over my shoulder.

"What?" I say and look at Jason's, it is more stocked and I notice why. Jason has razors and shaving cream.

"Finnick not shave?" She says. I know she is kidding but I just now realized he never has before and I have lived with him for over a year. He also doesn't have hair on his chest. He's twenty four, okay twenty three, but his birthday is coming up.

I wonder why that is. I think of the male tributes in the arena. The eighteen year olds should be able to grow at least stubble and yet nothing. What do they do to them?

"Annie hello?" Lana says and I jump. "Are you okay?" She asks worried.

"I was just thinking about something." I mumble.

"You were staring at the bathroom cabinet so hard I was expecting it to perform a trick." She teases and I roll my eyes.

"No... it's just I've never seen Finnick shave."

She smirks.

"It's not that exciting Annie."

"No... I mean ever or have stubble on his face. He doesn't have it on his chest either."

"Well some people-

"I think they do something to him. Maybe that is what Capitol people want."

Lana shrugs.

"Does it matter?" She says

"I don't want them to do anything to him. I wonder what else they have done to him. I mean with all that sex he has… do you... do you think they would've like-

"I don't think they sterilized Finnick. They have all those fancy birth controls in the Capitol. Right?"

"Why would I know?" I ask confused. I do know they have more than they do here but, still... why would I know all about that.

She shrugs

"Well you go there a lot."

I roll my eyes.

"Besides, you don't want kids since the games so-

"But that isn't right." I interrupt. She is right I don't want kids. I did before… but the games changed that. I would never put my child in something like that. I know what it would be like… and I know what will happen after... if they win.

Lana shrugs.

"Like I said, I don't think they would do anything like that. Even though people would probably pay to have have Finnick's DNA. I don't think-

"Stop talking please." I say thinking of this. Especially since people would pay for it. "This is making me uncomfortable."

"Sorry." She says and rubs my back.

"This world is all kind of messed up." I say. Especially if this is true. I think of all the other victors. Do they have kids... I know one of the female victors do…

She hugs me.

"It's gonna be okay Annie. When you see him again you can ask."

"I don't want to." I say. Not because I don't want to know the answer but because that would be way too awkward. I mean just going up to him and be all 'Hey Finnick did they sterilize you so you can't knock up some Capitol girl.' I couldn't even get that sentence out with turning as red as a tomato. I still get embarrassed talking about topics like this.

It's awkward for a few minutes.

"Remember how we said we wanted to live with each other?" Lana says trying to smooth this over.

"Yeah." I say with a smile. Before the games Lana and I had a vision. After we finished school we probably would've gotten one of the jobs that involved weaving. Once we saved enough money, we would find a place to live. Then all this Hunger Games stuff happened. I never finished school and I don't need a job. I don't think anyone would want to hire the 'crazy' girl anyways.

"We would've been great roommates." I say truthfully.

"Yes, it was a much simpler time."

"Girls breakfast!" I hear Tiffany shout. It is more like a demand.

"She is still that ray of sunshine." Lana says and I roll my eyes.

"She seems nice." I say. Which is true. She seems nice but, she just doesn't come across that way. I think she is trying though.

"I know. You know I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable though." She says.

"Yes I do." I say and we head downstairs.

"Alright there you are. Now I made a generally big breakfast because we won't be home much of the day. I forgot to ask if there were any dietary restrictions so if you have some just tell me and we can figure something else." She smiles and so I do.

"I think we are all good." I say and Lana nods in agreement.

"So what exactly are we doing today?" Lana asks.

"We are heading to a place that is related to the Dark Days."

"Really?" Lana says surprised.

She nods.

"I'm sure you two will find it very educational. You might find this very special Annie." She smiles.

"Why me specifically?" I ask confused.

She smiles.

"You'll see."

After we finish breakfast she gives us waterproof coats and some black boots that are rubber and have very nice support. She says since we will be doing lots of walking it will be helpful because of the land. I am concerned of her walking long distances because she is on the older side. I'm not going to bring it up though. It's not really my place to anyways.

We walk for a few hours and probably a least five miles before she stops.

"I think the cove is around here. Sorry it's been awhile since I have needed to know this." She smiles and Lana and I look at each other confused. "Ah, here we are." She says and leads us to a cove. We walk a few hundred yards when I see a strange staircase.

"Here we are." She says.

"Why is there a staircase?" Lana asks confused.

"These are the secret tunnels of District Four. In the Dark Days it was used by the rebels to take freely of their plans. It was also used for shelter when the bombs started to fly."

"So these are hidden all around the District." I ask perplexed.

She nods.

"They connect to the mainland because it travels underwater." She says.

"This doesn't seem safe... what if it closes in on us. I mean they are old." Lana says fearful and so am I.

"Don't worry Lana nothing like that will happen due to the structure and after all seventy five years it is still holding up."

I look around as we are walking and see some type of shelters more like personal rooms except it is surrounded by dirt and rock. There is something about those spaces that seem possessive though.

We have probably been walking for hours before I see torches on the wall. They aren't lit probably because this place hasn't been used in awhile. Tiffany brought a flashlight. She was prepared.

"Good we must be close." She says. I'm curious to what we are close to.

"I'm curious Tiffany about how you know about this?" I ask. I don't think she is old enough to be around before the Dark Days.

She smiles.

"I had a friend tell me. A mutual one we share." She says.

"Mags?" I ask because she is old enough to be around before the Dark Days and I'm assuming she would know her because of Finnick.

"Yes." She nods.

I start to hear a rustling type sound and the movement of rocks.

"You sure this place isn't going to cave in?" Lana asks worried.

Tiffany nods.

"They're almost here." She says.

We wait for a few minutes as I wonder who we are waiting for.

"Who?" I finally get the courage to ask. Who has she taken us to? Why did Finnick want me to see these tunnels so badly? What do they signify? If it has to do with the Dark Days does that mean they are starting again? Before my mind can process more questions I hear

"Hello. Sorry we are a little late the tunnels can be like a maze." I know who it is before they come into view.

I stand up and want to make sure it is true.

"Do you see that too?" I ask. I don't know to whom.

"Yup. I see him too." Lana says with a smile.

I see Finnick standing arms length in front of me.


	136. Chapter 136

**Chapter 136**

I hug him before I say anything.

"It's okay." He says and rubs my back.

I look over his shoulder and notice his peacekeeper is here. My body stiffens I don't want to get burned again.

"What's wrong?" Finnick whispers.

"You brought your peacekeeper." I whisper. Mine didn't have to come because they figured if they knew Finnick or the other victors weren't on this island we wouldn't be able to see each other. Looks like they were wrong.

"Don't worry Annie. Like I said he is a friend." He kisses the top of my head. "Let me see." He says. I don't have to ask to know what he means.

I let go of him and slowly show him my forearm. He has a strange facial expression when he sees it. His fingers move slowly to the scar. He traces the circle . I flinch a little because it hasn't totally healed.

"I can fix that. In the Capitol you could get-

"I don't want to get any medical procedure. It is what it is." I say.

He smiles sadly.

"Okay." He says and kisses it.

"So you brought me here just to see you?" I ask happily.

He pauses.

"No. There is something else I want to show you." He kisses my cheek. "We can go whenever everyone is ready." Finnick says looking at his Grandmother. I knew she couldn't walk long distances without it taking something out of her.

"Finnick." I say and he looks at me.

"Yes?" He smiles.

"You're here. You're here with me." I whisper because it has probably been a little over a month since I have seen him.

"Yes I am." He says and kisses me.

"Are we going to have to leave?" I ask.

"Yes." He says.

"Could I see you here everyday?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"No. Besides, your peacekeeper will follow you. This is probably going to be a rare occasion." He says sadly.

"Oh…"

"Don't worry Annie. It's going to be alright."

Everyone tells me this but when Finnick says it, I actually believe him.

"Okay." I say and kiss him.

"We can move out whenever." Tiffany says.

"Let's go then." Finnick says and laces his fingers with mine.

"Finnick if this was used for the Dark Days does that mean..."

"Annie relax. Nothing that extreme is going on."

"But the riots in town."

"That was bound to happen eventually. They have it contained now."

"But Katniss she-

"Woah look at this." Lana says.

We turn her way and I see why. It's another staircase.

"How deep does this thing go underground?" Lana asks.

"No who is still alive really knows." Tiffany says. "And no one wants to investigate to find out. For the same reasons you were worried. It might collapse in on you."

"I see." I whisper.

"We go to at least the second floor." The peacekeeper says.

"What's you name?" I ask him because I haven't heard it.

"Tyler. Miss. Cresta."

"It's nice to meet you. Please call me Annie." I say. Being called Miss. Cresta just reminds me of Snow.

"Alright." He smiles.

I want to ask how he knows Finnick or why we should trust him but now is not the time.

Finnick brings my hand to his lips and I look up at him and smile.

"So what's on the second floor?" I ask.

"More tunnels." He pauses. "We won't go there today. Corpses still haunt that place." Tyler says.

"Oh." I whisper.

"If this was used for protection then why did people die here?" Lana asks.

"There where signs that they got trapped." Tyler says.

My grip on Finnick's hand tightens.

"Don't worry. That won't happen. It happened because rubble landed on the exit points.

"I see." I say in a deadpan voice.

"So what did you want to show us?" Lana asks.

"It's coming up ahead." Tyler says leading us. I get the feeling he has spent a lot of time here.

I look around and see multiple tunnels and they all go in different directions. I wonder where they all lead. I wonder how many people know about these tunnels.

Tyler takes us down a winding path that I'm almost positive we will never be able to find our way out. He stops when the tunnels open up and it is now a larger room. I see multiple entries from multiple tunnels. It looks like a control room of some sorts or at least a meeting place.

"What is this?" I ask as my voice echoes.

"This is where the rebels would meet and discuss their next move."

"So? We aren't in that position now are we?" I ask.

"No. That's not why we are here." Finnick says.

"Then why are we here?" I ask confused.

"To see this." Tyler says and leads us forward.

We walk and there are stairs we head upstairs. When we get up there I squint my eyes from the change. We are back outside. It takes my eyes a minute to adjust when I see where we are. It's a deserted strip of land. That's not the why he wanted us here. It's because this place is untouched. You can also see the whole District from here. I mean all of it even the outskirts of it. Not close up though.

Tyler is looking for something in the sand.

I look around and smile.

"What?" Finnick asks.

"It's pretty."

He looks towards me and smiles.

"I know that's not why you brought me here. But this is pretty." I say.

He looks around.

"Ehh... I guess." Finnick says.

I roll my eyes.

"Okay fine."

"Well it pales in comparison to the other beauty that is here." He says.

I look around confused.

"What other beauty?" I ask.

Finnick smiles and places a stray hair behind my ear.

"You." He whispers and kisses me.

I lean my forehead against his.

"You are so cheesy." I say.

"I know." He kisses the tip of my nose. "But we both know you love it." He says and I smile.

"I missed you." I say.

"I missed you too." He says and kisses me again. I hug him.

"I don't want you to leave." I whisper.

"I know." Finnick says and kisses my shoulder. "But I have to. At least I get to see you for a few hours." He kisses my cheek. "That's better than nothing, right?" He asks.

"Yes." I say. "I will cherish it because…" I swallow hard. "Who knows when I will see you again." I whisper.

"You will soon." He pulls back and puts both hands on my cheeks. "You will soon." He says and kisses me.

I hear a noise and Finnick and I turn around. Tyler found what he was looking for and I see something rise from the ground. It looks like some type of machine.

"This taps into all the video feeds in 4. So if you are ever curious about something you can check here." Tyler says.

I nod. I probably won't be able to find this place ever again. Besides, I'm not that interested.

He hands something to Tiffany.

"A portable version for you and you." He gives one to Lana as well. "Finnick and Annie can't have one for the obvious reasons." He says and they both nod. "But this does give them the opportunity to look if they want to."

"Does this mean I could see what you are doing?" I look to Finnick.

"Yes." Tyler answers.

I sigh.

"That's good." I say.

Finnick nods but he doesn't seem as pleased by this as I am.

"I could see you everyday." I say.

"Annie that feels more like spying than anything else." He says.

"Oh." I say disappointed.

He senses this so he kisses me.

"Don't worry Cresta. I will be watching over you." He winks.

"My hero." I say sarcastically and he rolls his eyes.

"Let's go back inside." Tiffany says but looks at Finnick and I. "Finnick and Annie you can wait out here for awhile if you wish." She says with a smile.

"So?" He asks with a smile.

"So what?" I ask confused.

"Is my Grandmother the beast you thought she was?" He asks with a smile.

"No she is… nice in her own way." I say and Finnick nods.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. I know he isn't doing well with me being branded.

"I am now." He says and runs his right hand up and down my forearm. I have an intake of breath from the cold contrast against the burn.

"I'm sorry." He says with pain in his eyes.

"It's okay." I say.

"Good. I've been alright Annie. I feel better now that I have seen you. The last image of you was screaming around on the floor. You have been a frequent visitor in my nightmares." He swallows hard.

"Finnick." I say and he looks up. "The things that happen in those nightmares aren't real. I'm not being murdered or whatever else you are seeing." He nods. "Besides. I have those too."

"You have nightmares where you murder yourself." He says lightening the mood.

"I meant of you getting..."

"Like you said they're not real." He says and kisses the top of my head.

I sit down on the sand and he sits next to me.

"When do you think we will leave?" I ask.

"Probably before dark." He kisses my cheek.

I nod.

"Okay." I say.

He holds out his hands and we end up playing the hand slap game for some reason. As always I win. We stop when the top of Finnick's hands turn a dull pink.

I lean in and hug him.

"You know I let you win." He says and I roll my eyes. "I do. I don't want to slap your hands." He says and kisses my shoulder.

"That's the point of the game Finnick." I say and pull back.

"I know but even when I lose I'm still winning."

"Because you're with me." I say.

He nods and kisses the top of my hand.

"You know me so well." He smiles.

"Well it is something cheesy to say." I smile and so does he.

I lace my fingers with his and he kisses me. I put my hands on his cheeks. So warm and smooth. Then I remember the conversation I had with Lana.

I break the kiss and he looks at me strangely.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes?" He asks and kisses the tip of my nose.

I smile but it soon fades.

"What's wrong Annie?"

"I'm going to ask you something you aren't going to like." I whisper.

"Annie." He says gently but I just look at our intertwined hands. "Annie please look at me." He whispers and places a stray hair behind my ear.

I do look up and I find him smiling.

"You can ask me whatever you want." He kisses my forehead. "Okay?"

"Okay." I whisper.

"So what is this mysterious question you think will upset me." He smiles and I roll my eyes.

"I was wondering when you go to the Capitol what do they do to you?" I ask.

He sighs

"Annie… we have been over this-

"No. I'm not talking about clients." I say. He sounded more annoyed this time than gentle maybe because he has given me this speech so many times before. I run my thumb across our intertwined fingers. He smiles.

"Then what are you talking about?" He asks and kisses my hand.

"I mean do they do anything. A prep team or doctors?"

He looks at me strangely.

"What do you mean?" He asks confused.

"I don't know to make you look…" I run my hands across his face and into his hair. "Better?"

He smiles.

"Well this all came from good genes Annie. No Capitol citizen could make me this good looking." He teases and kisses my cheek.

"Finnick." I say.

"Okay there is one thing." He says and I nod.

"When the male tributes go into the games they give them all injections so you can't grow any hair. It lasts awhile. A little more than a year." I nod. "But because Capitol women love hairless bodies for some reason." He rolls his eyes. "Still get those. Why are you asking?"

"Dunno." I say somewhat true.

"Annie. Come on." He says and smiles

"What?" I ask.

"You have never asked this before."

"Well I just realized you never seem to shave." I say.

He laughs.

"How long did we live together for you to put that together."

"Finnick." I grumble.

"I mean really supplies were never in the house."

I roll my eyes. He kisses my cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I say.

He looks at me strangely

"There's something else isn't there." He says and it isn't a question.

"Well Lana and I were talking and wondering what would happen if any of these clients would get knocked up?"

His face becomes hard. He doesn't like this question.

"Snow is very careful to make sure that doesn't happen. There's lots of paperwork and tests. Also extra precautions."

"Like Captiol birth control."

"Yes and other… things."

I look up at Finnick he has that look when he doesn't want me to tell something.

"Finnick." I say and it's quite for a long time.

I'm about to tell him to forget this but he starts talking instead. His voice is gentle and very soft. I can barely hear him.

"I was never gonna tell you this Annie. I mean they give me these things I take them-

I don't care what he is going to tell me. If he never was going to, then it must not have been that important. Or it was so important that he felt he would hide it until the moment came up. Either way I don't want to force him to answer.

"If you were never going to tell me then you don't need to." I say and kiss his cheek.

He sighs and draws circles on my hand. It isn't to comfort me this time. It's because he's nervous about something.

"No." He clears his throat. "Since we are talking about it, Annie, I know you don't want to be a mother but-

"I don't-"

I don't know what to say. I'm pretty sure I know where this is going.

"But if this world was ever to change. It would be hard, still plausible but-

"Finnick it's okay. All I need is you. I love you."

"I love you too." He says.

"Then what's wrong?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"I don't know."

"How often do you get like injected? For them to make you look pretty." I say trying to change the subject.

"It varies." His eyebrows scrunch together. "Although before my 'appointment' I get some type of drug."

"For like-

He smiles

"No, although in the beginning… I mean a seventeen year old who has never really seen a naked girl is not the exact ideal… person. Especially since clients clearly don't understand human anatomy." He rolls his eyes.

"I see." I say. I remember he said taking a pill before he sees a client which is how we got on this embarrassing topic.

"Annie." He says.

"Yes?"

"This is making you uncomfortable." He says and it isn't a question.

I sigh. I'm such a prude.

"I just wanted to know." I whisper.

"I know." He kisses my forehead.

"What does happen before, I mean you see them." I whisper.

"Like I said I get this pill, injection, whatever I'm told. It's always the same stuff not like I care. It has to do with the problem of… that… issue I was saying."

"Finnick-

"People aren't supposed to take it so frequently."

"Finnick-" this topic is upsetting him. I feel bad for asking.

"But I have to before every visit to make sure some women doesn't get knocked up by Finnick Odair." He rolls his eyes. His tone of voice is getting more angry.

"Finnick." I say gently.

"If they are so worried why would they purchase me. Have affairs and all these other terrible things Annie." He sighs and shakes his head. "There is so much I don't tell you."

I know he isn't hiding this from me. He does it because he doesn't want to talk about it. He does it because he doesn't want to relive those horrors. I know he does in his nightmares.

I hug him.

"It's okay Finnick. You're okay." I say and kiss his neck. He breathes in and out heavily.

"Ann-

"Shh." I say and my hands rub his back.

He rests his chin on top of my head. He starts to sway us back and forth. He said he knew this for a long time. I wonder how long that is. He said this deal started when he was seventeen. Did he know it then? Or was it a few years in? A long time to me is longer than a year.

_How can someone do this to people?_ I think to myself.

I want to ask him something else but no I shouldn't. I want to know if that is the real purpose for a drug like that. I think I know why Finnick is more upset about this than me. I think it's because he wanted to have a kid. Not now. Not with the games lingering in the air. But if by some strike of fate there were no games or Snow. It would be a conversation.

I kiss his cheek.

"I love you Finnick. I love _you_." I emphasize. I don't need some baby to love Finnick. Besides, I don't really want one. I already do love Finnick. I always will love him. I will always love that idiot.

"I love you too." He says.

"Always." I whisper.

"Always." He repeats.


	137. Chapter 137

**Chapter 137**

After Finnick and I left that island we went back to Tiffany's house.

Tyler showed us all how to work the tablets but there was a part of the explanation when everyone. And I do mean everyone wanted me out of the room. I didn't bother asking why. I know they wouldn't tell me.

Instead I went upstairs and lied down on the bed.

Tiffany came up shortly after. I think Finnick told her to. Maybe to make sure I'm not getting into trouble. She is nice but even though she was trying to comfort me, it wasn't really helping. Even when she is talking with Finnick sometimes I notice the removed flat tone.

We talked for awhile and I noticed something she kept coughing. At first I thought it was just a cold until she pulled back a tissue one time and I saw blood. I'm pretty sure she knows I saw. I'm not going to say anything though. Not to her and especially not to Finnick.

Saying goodbye to Finnick was strange because once again I had no idea when I would see him again.

I tried not to cry but once again failed. I don't think Finnick cares anymore. I think he expects it.

* * *

"Today is the day!" Lana says.

I roll my eyes.

"Peeta and Katniss are just coming it's not like it's very exciting." I say unamused. It really isn't that exciting. I know I will see them when the games start. Although I can tell the citizens of 4 feel differently about this.

"I'm sorry." She says.

I sigh.

"So are you doing anything Victory Tour related?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"We can't even go to the square. Like talking to her is going to set off some bomb. It's been like this in the other Districts too." I say because I have noticed on tv they don't show her talking to any other victors. I don't think I have seen any on screen. Except Haymitch.

"Yes talking to _her_." Lana says and eyes me.

It's true, I rarely say them or him. Everyone knows Peeta isn't really a victor. He's only here because of Katniss. But who am I to judge who is a victor. People always say I'm not worthy of the title. I remember what Finnick told me when I shortly got out of the arena. Something along the lines of you're too pure. You're different. You're better than the rest of us. I think Peeta is the same way. After all, he is better than me. He didn't intentionally kill anyone. It was an accident for him. He got that girl with the berries. I killed at least one person. I'm still not sure if I injured or killed that other person and I don't ever want to know.

"You knew what I meant." I say.

"Well it doesn't really matter if people are more excited to see the girl on fire rather than the baker's boy." She smiles.

"Baker's boy?" I asked confused.

"That's what Caesar calls him because he bakes cakes or something."

"Interesting. Maybe that should be his talent."

She nods.

"So how are you Annie?" She asks.

I sigh I hate this question.

"I mean you just saw Finnick again."

"Yes." I smile.

"But are you having like… withdrawal?" She says.

"I'd be lying if I said no. But Finnick isn't a drug." I say.

"I didn't really know how to phrase it."

"I understand." I say and she smiles.

We both jump as the television turns on.

We see Katniss and Peeta and a boat load of peacekeepers around them.

The mayor goes out to introduce them.

I look at the crowd and they seem a bit unruly. You can see a strange glint in most of the populations eyes. And it isn't because they're happy to see the victor. They want to hear what she will say. What _they_ will say.

They give out the similar garbage I was required to read. Which I am not surprised by. That is what most of the victors say. They might add a bit of flare here and there. Especially if they won, but usually it is the same old stuff.

"Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever." They both say.

Instead of the clapping or grunting we usually give the crowd there is more of a hustle and bustle. The peacekeepers are having trouble restraining the crowd.

"Tell us what you really think!" I hear someone from the crowd shout. More people follow suit and the feed cuts out. I can hear a gun fire outside.

I walk outside Victors Village. I also see Luna and Finnick. We can't speak with each other but if we are kept far enough away they won't do anything.

"Come on." I tell Lana.

It's not that hard to see the square from the Village. We are all looking in the same direction. I end up standing on the water fountain in the middle of the village to get a good look. That's when I see it. Well see Katniss and Peeta. They are being dragged back to the Justice Building while the crowd has now become impossible to calm. I don't think they shot anyone. I think it just went into the air. I think it was just a warning shot.

"Miss. Cresta." I hear and turn around. I must be getting too close to Luna for my babysitters liking. I don't say anything just step down from the fountain.

"What did you see?" She asks.

"Nothing good."

She nods.

I'm not liking the looks on any of the peacekeepers faces so I retreat back inside. I don't even look at Finnick.

* * *

Lana left hours ago and I'm just sitting inside twirling a pencil in my hand. I was going to draw but kept getting headaches when I tried.

"Annie." My mother says gently.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"I think if you walked around for a bit you might feel better or at least sat outside."

I know she is right.

"Just for a little bit. It is cold." I say. Which is true fall is coming to a close. Winter is about begin.

"I can go with you." She says gently.

I shake my head.

"No that's okay. I wanted to buy some groceries from town anyways." I say.

She nods and gives me the list.

"Be careful Annie." She whispers and kisses my forehead.

"Don't worry. I will be." I say and she nods.

The walk to town seems strange. I don't really see many people outside and some of the shops are closed. It is a week day. Shops are usually only closed on Sundays. However, it doesn't matter because the main one I wanted is still open.

"Good afternoon." I hear Fletch. The owner of the crop shop says. He also sells fish but since I was a girl I have called it the crop shop. I think this is because my Father and Mother would only buy crops here. They didn't need fish because they could catch that ourselves.

"Hello." I say and head down the aisles. I know where everything is so this won't take long.

"I'm surprised to see you out and about Annie." I hear him say in a strange tone. He has probably seen me come in here since I was seven. He talked with my Mother and Father whenever they would come in. So I know his comment is from the heart but it still bothers me.

"Well I'm fine." I say more harshly than I meant.

"That's not what I meant." He says strangely.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"You don't know." He mutters under his breath. I don't think for me to hear. "You should go home Annie." He demands.

"But I need-

"Take what you need, don't bother paying for it. Just go home. Can't have you get hurt." He says.

"What do you mean get hurt?" I ask confused.

I hear a strange noise and forget whatever I was going to buy and head outside.

I hear Fletch telling me I should stay inside but don't listen.

It sounds like fire cracklers are being spread throughout the town. This usually only happens during festivals. It is to signal the main event is happening so everyone will know it is starting. I think it's mostly to shut people up.

_There isn't a festival today_. I think confused.

Before anything else happens I hear a loud explosion far off in the distance it looks like it is coming from the boating arena. I then hear numerous gun shots and can tell some of the boats are starting to blow up. The ones that are automated anyways.

I know I should be going home but, I can't will myself to move. I watch the District erupt in chaos.

This is all happening too swiftly. It's almost as if it was… planned.

"Maybe it was." I whisper thinking of Flech's words. The cracklers that mean the main even is about to start. Is this the main event? Did someone plan this riot? If so then who are the people responsible?

I end up sinking to my knees. I get the feeling my Mother had no idea about this. She wouldn't suggest I go outside to see the terribleness that is going on.

Peacekeepers and civilians all start to flood the area. Most people have some form of weapon. I hear screaming, blood shot, death, the shipping bins being tipped over, sail boats being set on fire, peacekeepers gunning people down.

_This can't be real it's just a figment of your imagination._ I think.

But no matter how many times I close my eyes and think this, when I open them it is always the same. Except new horrors are presented. This is real.

I get the common sense to get up and run back home.

I'm stopped by the sound of my name.

"Annie!" I hear. I don't turn because I don't want to find the voice. I don't recognize it. I start to run.

But I soon feel an arm around my waist. I elbow the person in the face and step on their foot. They let go and I just start running. Finnick did teach me some self defense moves after Constantine stole me away. I don't know much but it is enough for someone to let go of me.

It's a good thing he taught me how to do something.

_Finnick!_ I think.

I stop walking. I wonder if he is out there. I wonder if they will kill him. I wonder if he is killing someone. I swallow hard at the thought.

I hear a loud explosion and multiple screams shortly after. I don't know if it's peacekeepers or civilians but it doesn't matter. The screams are still bone chilling.

I feel hands around me again and this time I won't be able to get away. I feel like I'm being captured. I'm getting dragged through the square. I trip and fall down. My lip gets split and it is now bleeding profusely. I think my forehead is also cut.

I get dragged to my knees. I notice I'm on the square right where Peeta and Katniss were standing a few hours ago.

I notice the screens that usually show the Hunger Games are showing what is going on in the District. The whole District. Even in the places where almost no one lives. They have gotten rid of their shipping bins as well. I see some boats on fire as well. Looks like they will be stuck there. I'm sure everyone doesn't know about the tunnels.

I understand why people are doing this. If there are no boats that means there can be no fishing. Not to mention the loss of a shipping bins but, those can easily be replaced. But, boats cannot. And it looks like they are getting rid of every last one. The Capitol could probably send more out but that would take awhile. Enough to be a shortage of fish. Enough to send some sort of message.

The loud alarm bells sound and more gun shouts are fired.

"Where is he?" I hear Demetrius -who else- bark.

"I don't know." I say frightened. I know he means Finnick. I don't know why he would want to speak with him.

"Well I want him to see this." He makes a motion to all the screens.

He shoves me hard. I almost fall over.

I look around I see that Luna and Mags are also up here. Luna looks in the same shape I am, but Mags doesn't. I think she knew better than to fight. Or knew she probably couldn't.

"I'm a good shot." Demetrius smiles and takes out his gun. He smiles and starts to take out some of the bullets.

"Six bullets can fit in this gun. I have taken five out."

"So?" I ask. Is he going to shoot us so the District can see us die. To prove we aren't invincible. Is he even allowed to shoot us? Constantine wanted me dead but Demetrius knew it would ultimately end in his death. So why would he kill us now?

"So that means there is a one in six chance you will die."

"Demetrius-" Mags starts but is soon cut off.

"I don't care who it is. I wanted you all up here but... it looks like Mr. Odair cannot be found."

I wonder where he is. I wonder if he is hurt. Finnick. My mind is starting to panic that he could be dead. Then it starts to panic because I am looking down at the barrel of his gun.

He points the gun to me and pulls the trigger. I flinch but nothing happens. I sigh and look towards Mags and Luna. I'm pretty sure one of us are going to die. The question is who. There are a number of scenarios that could happen depending where he placed the bullet. My head starts spinning trying to think about this.

I try to run but an restrained.

I hear a loud alarm go off and another building is blown up. They're blowing up the watch towers. How they are pulling this off is beyond me. This had to be planned.

I see a hovercraft come into view. It's from the Capitol. I am wondering if they are just going to burn this place to the ground like District 13. They aren't burning it down but more peacekeepers are coming down from fancy ropes and they have bigger guns.

Another explosion. There are only two more watchtowers.

What happens if we take over the District? I know that is probably not likely but if we did gain control what would we do? Would we head to the other districts or just wait for them to send more peacekeepers. Or would they just blow us all up like 13. They got blown up for rebelling too much. If a District gained control I think that is what would happen.

So much debris is falling and so much screaming that I don't even hear the gun go off. I do see the blood though. It's starting to pool all around me. I am confused because I don't feel any pain. I look around and see why. I didn't get shot. He did.


	138. Chapter 138

**A/N: Hello readers and thank you for reading! I saw Mockingjay today! Woo I guess? Did anyone else feel like it was ehhh. Not as good as it should be especially since it is two films. I felt a lot got cut or am I just very picky? Anyway here's the new chapter enjoy!**

**Chapter 138**

My hands are shaking so badly that my Mother can barely clean the blood from my hands.

It all happened so quickly. The gunshot. The blood. Falling to my knees once I realized what happened. Falling into a pool of his blood.

My Mom kisses my forehead and continues to wipe the blood off.

"It's okay Annie." She says.

She doesn't know what happened. All she knows is a peacekeeper -Tyler- brought me home covered in blood. She asked me some questions but then realized I was too upset. So now here we are. Me sitting on the floor of the kitchen and her with a bucket of warm water and a cloth cleaning up the blood that rests on my skin.

The blood is almost all off my hands when she starts to clean my face. I know there are red handprints on the side of my cheeks. I went a bit deranged after I saw what happened. Screaming pretty much blocked everything out. I barely remembered how I got home.

The cloth feels warm against my skin. I lean into it and close my eyes.

"Annie sweetie." She says and I open my eyes. I think she has cleaned off my face. My eyes must have been shut longer than a minute.

"Yes?" I say. My voice is hoarse. I'm surprised I could say anything at all.

"You should take a shower." She kisses my forehead. "There's blood it's in your hair." She whispers

"Okay." I whisper.

I walk up the stairs woodenly and turn on the shower. I walk into the bathroom and just stand there until it starts to fill with steam. I get in the shower and lean my head against the wall. I usually only take ten minute showers because of the fear of drowning but I don't care right now. I just let the water hit me.

I look down and watch the water turn from red to pink to clear again. I lift my head and then realize I'm still in my clothes.

I sniffle.

I sit down in the shower. I press my knees to my chest and rock back and forth. I start crying and it's hard to decipher which water is coming from me or the shower.

I place my head on my knees and breathe in and out rhythmically. I close my eyes and just see the blood so I open them but it isn't soon enough. I feel sick and end up throwing up in the shower. Most of it goes down the drain. I don't really care right now. I sit back up and let the water hit me. Not at all repulsed that there is vomit next to me.

I start rocking back and forth and then start singing. It's more muttering but still there is a musical tune.

"Here we are in the sea. Watching waiting peacefully. Here we are in the sea watching waiting peacefully. The tides that come leave too quick." I have forgotten the rest of the song. My Father used to sing it to me. I only learned the first verse. I just remember the song started to talk about rough tides and other things that made the song not as peaceful and happy.

I hear a knock on the door and hear it just open.

"Annie, you've been in here for forty five minutes are you alright?" I ask.

I didn't think it had been that long but now that she has pointed it out I can feel that the water is now ice cold and all the vomit next to me has gone down the drain.

My mother pulls back the curtain her eyes hold sadness when she sees me, sitting on the shower floor shivering from the cold.

"Come here sweetie." She says and pulls me up. She gives me some pajamas and the hoodie she knows will make me feel better. It's Finnick's. He left it behind on purpose. When I put it on it feels like he is hugging me. It's because it smells like him. Which is why I don't wear it too often. I want it to remind me of him. Always.

She leads me to the bed and has me lay down. She places my head in her lap and starts to braid my hair. It feels nice and relaxing. I can tell she is doing a braid that is very elaborate. Someone only with the fingers of District 4 could make.

It feels like twenty minutes when she stops and kisses my forehead.

"There. All better." She says.

"I wish." I whisper.

She keeps stroking my hair and making soothing noises. It's probably been an hour before she can't take it anymore.

"Annie?" She whispers.

I whimper.

"Annie what happened?" She whispers and kisses my temple.

"Something bad." I say.

She rubs my back.

"Okay. Can I get a little more?" She asks.

"You know about the square?" I whisper.

"I heard lots of explosions. I was worried about you. I couldn't leave because peacekeepers blocked off the entrance of Victors Village." She kisses my forehead. "I was so worried." She says.

"Well here I am." I whisper.

"Yes. So what happened?" She asks again.

I talk about the explosions and how I got dragged to the square in front of the Justice Building. How Demetrius threatened Mags, Luna, and myself. How he fired the gun go off and then.

"Then what happened Annie? Who's blood was that? Was it Demetrius? Did someone shoot him?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"No." I moan.

"Who's blood was that Annie's? I know it wasn't yours because you aren't hurt."

"I know it was his." I whisper.

"Finnick?" She says worried.

"No." I shake my head. "It happened so quickly... I barely realized what happened. He must have seen Demetrius pointing the gun at me. That's why he tackled me to the ground."

"Who Annie?"

"Once I saw him lying there bleeding to death... I... I had to make sure it was real. So I touched him and the blood." I start crying. "Then I just kneeled in the puddle of blood as it go bigger and bigger. I saw him dying and I didn't even do anything!" I shout.

"Annie who are you talking about?" She asks worried.

"I didn't stay so I don't know if he is dead but I'm sure he is. There was so much blood!nI got dragged away so I wouldn't get hurt. You know the rest. I came home covered in his blood."

"Annie sweetie."

"Yes?" I ask. Although I know what she is going to say.

"Who's blood was that?" She says and strokes my hair.

Along time passes before I answer. I don't want to tell but I know I can't hide this forever. I'm sure the news has gotten to Finnick by now. I don't even want to think about him right now. He probably hates me. That or he has completely lost it.

I clear my throat from the phlegm and close my eyes.

"It was his." I whisper. "It was Jason's."


	139. Chapter 139

**Chapter 139**

There's so much blood. I scream and scream and scream. It's been a week since the district went into chaos and I can't sleep. I just see crimson and can still hear screaming. I also hear the gunshots of the public executions that have taken place. They show them on TV every so often.

"Annie." I hear frantically and feel my Mother's arms around me. "It's okay sweetie." She says and strokes my hair. It's not okay. Not really. I'm responsible for someone else dying. Someone who thought my life was more valuable than their own. Maybe he didn't think he would die. Maybe he did it for Finnick. Maybe he did it in the heat of the moment but, it doesn't matter because I killed him. I'm pretty sure I did anyways. There was too much blood around him for him to still be breathing. The peacekeepers were all frazzled when they realized they hurt him. Snow gave very strict orders. Especially after Marci died. They were trying to kill me or at least scare me but instead the bullet hit him. The bullet hit Jason. I'm sure he is dead. I can't handle that. I can't handle that Lana might not want to talk with me. I can't handle the fact that I don't know where Finnick is. I can't handle that. I don't want to handle that.

"Annie." I hear my Mom say.

I sniffle and she smooths my hair.

"It's okay." She whispers

"No it's not." I sob.

"Ann-

"I may not have pulled the trigger but I am the reason he is dead." I say. I hear her sigh. It's not because she is annoyed it's because she is tired of me saying this. I know deep deep down I didn't kill Jason but, at the surface, right now, it feels like I did.

"That's not true." She says and holds me for awhile. "You should go back to bed."

"I can't sleep." I whisper.

"I can stay with you until you fall asleep." She says and kisses my forehead. I'm twenty two and need my mom in the same bed as me. I sigh. It will probably help a little but the nightmares will come back. They also have. Even with Finnick's arms wrapped protectively around me they still got through.

The nightmares are not the worst part. It's me thinking Finnick will never talk to me again. Lana too. I've known Lana my whole life. She is basically a sister. I just killed her boyfriend. The only guy who she could stand to be around longer than a month. I killed him. I also killed Finnick's brother. Pearl and Tiffany are his only blood relatives left and Tiffany showed signs of being sick. She could be dying. Then that only leaves Pearl.

I sigh.

I start crying again and my Mom pushes me to her chest. She smooths my hair and gets me to calm down.

I can't fall asleep though. I won't.

* * *

I feel my Mom kiss the top of my hair. She slept but I didn't.

"Did you sleep at all Annie?"

"No." I whisper.

"It's okay sweetie. I can make you some tea, that usually helps." She says and gives me a squeeze.

I don't say anything. I just miss her body heat when she leaves.

I sigh.

I know I'm not supposed to but I reach for the phone anyways. I've kept it on the nightstand, always waiting to see if he will call. He usually doesn't. He said I should call him if I was hurt. I am hurt, but not in the way he meant.

It rings and rings until I get the voicemail message. It beeps and I don't know what to say.

"I'm so sorry." I sob and hang up. I put the phone back and continue to sob.

My Mom comes back and looks alarmed by my state. I was fine three minutes ago.

She puts the tea pot and mug down on the bedside table and pulls me to her.

"Shhhh. It's okay sweets. It's okay." She whispers into my skin.

I sniffle and close my eyes.

She rubs my back and eventually gets tea into me.

"Sweetie." She whispers.

I whimper.

"You should go to sleep. Or at least close your eyes." She says and strokes my hair.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply. I convince her I'm sleeping and she leaves.

I open my eyes and my hand finds the phone again.

I sniffle.

I feel it vibrate against my palm. I look at the id and see it is Finnick. I don't know if I want to answer. I did call him. I don't know why. Maybe just to hear his voice.

I flip the phone open and press it to my ear.

"Hello." I whimper.

"Hi." Finnick says softly.

"Is it true?" I whisper. He will know what I mean. Besides, I don't think I could say it anyways.

I hear him breathe in and out deeply. I know the blow is coming.

"I want you to know that-" I close the phone and roll over and start sobbing. The phone rings again and again until I turn the thing off.

I killed Jason.

I hear the door open again and feel my Mother's arms around me.

"It's okay sweetie." But it's not. It's not okay. I feel like I did when I first got out of the arena. Knowing I killed someone. It's unbearable.

I eventually can't cry anymore. My Mom wraps me up in blankets and strokes my hair until I close my eyes.

* * *

I wake up and notice I slept for a few hours. I look around and don't see my Mother.

I sigh in relief. She must be thinking I am doing better.

I take a shaky hand to the drawer and drag out the phone.

I see Finnick kept calling and there are a few voice mails. I don't have the passcode. I notice there is some strange type of message written in text.

_Please call Annie. I love you. It's 14367._

I'm assuming this is the password.

I type it in and then hear Finnick's voice.

_Message 1_

_"I'm alright Annie. I am. Everything is going to be fine. I love you." He says._

_Message 2_

_"Annie I want to make sure you're alright please answer the phone. I love you. God I love you."_

_Message 3_

_"Annie please pick up. I'm so worried about you." His voice sounds more upset._

_Message 4_

_"Annie please please pick up the phone. I'm alright. We are all alright. Don't feel guilty for anything that has happened. Jason was an adult. He did what he felt was right. Annie I love you. I need to make sure you're alright."_

_Message 5_

_"Annie." I just hear him sob. I think the phone gets taken away from him._

_Message 6._

_"Annie. It's Pearl. I understand why you might not want to talk right now but can you please just call so Finnick can hear your voice. He…" _I hear something go on in the background that sounds like a loud bang_. "He needs you." She says._

_End of messages_

I'm sure he does need me. But right now I don't want to face him. It's clear cut now Jason is dead and it is my fault.


	140. Chapter 140

**Chapter 140**

I hit the call button and it picks up on the first ring.

"Hello." I hear but it isn't Finnick it's Pearl.

"Can I talk to him." I whisper.

"He's… he can't talk right now." She says. She sounds distracted.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"He is sleeping." She says but it sounds like there is more.

"Can't you wake him?" I ask.

"No. He took a sleeping pill that will knock him out for a few more hours. He couldn't stop thinking about you and he hasn't slept in three days. I think he just wanted some relief." She says gently.

Sleeping pills don't really make you sleep they just knock you out for a little bit. I took one a few times but hated it. Then a thought occurs to me.

"He's going to wake up though?" I ask worried of an overdose.

"Don't worry. I'm putting them and the other pills under lock and key. I had been keeping an eye on them but when he started acting peculiar I took them away. He has to ask Annie." She says.

"Good." I say a bit relieved. She's on top of it. Then again with Finnick trying to kill himself at three times you sort of have to be. "Is he okay?" I know it's a stupid question. "I mean-

"He's okay. Not as bad as he has been before. Annie. No one blames you for what happened." She says. The gentleness of her voices makes me believe her. Finnick's sister didn't die that long ago and now his brother is joining her. How many more of his loved ones are going to be six feet under.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Okay." She says. "I should go, but Annie-"

"Yes?"

"Are you taking care of yourself?" She asks concerned.

"My Mother is helping me in that department." I say truthfully.

"That's good. I hope everything will be alright. I'll tell Finnick to call you as soon as he wakes up."

"Of course." I say.

"Goodbye Annie." She says and hangs up.

* * *

A few days pass and I am pretty much calling Finnick everyday now. He seems very fragile. Pearl calls me when he wants to be alone. Apparently he keeps asking for sleeping pills. She doesn't always give them to him. Not because she thinks he will OD but that he will get addicted. I added that he might stash some away so she watches him take them now.

I can tell Finnick doesn't like this but he doesn't bring it up to me. However, today is a special day so I had to call him anyways.

It rings twice. I wait to see if it is Pearl or Finnick.

"Hello." He says he sounds tired.

"Did you just wake up?" I ask worried. It is noon. Then again Finnick has always been known to sleep late.

"No… didn't really sleep." He says.

"Oh... well I'm sorry about that birthday boy." I say with a smile. I can hear him sigh on the phone.

"Thank you." He says unamused.

"You're twenty four! You should do something special."

"Annie that's not a big year. Besides it's not like I can leave. We are still on lock down. But, I'll tell you what."

"What?" I ask with a smile.

"At twenty five we can do something special."

"_We_?"

"Don't worry everything will be fine by then."

"I hope so." I whisper. I just want to see him everyday again. Hopefully he's right. In a year everything will be okay again.

"Yeah me too." He says.

"Maybe you should take a nap." I say because he still sounds tired.

"No. The nightmares." He says quickly.

"I see." I say. I have probably only gotten ten hours of sleep just this week. "What was the Odair tradition for 24?" I ask. Every birthday there is something his family has done for years for each birthday year. They are very random. I am always curious to what it will be. His parents left him a book with all the envelopes to each birthday. It only goes up to thirty. I'm assuming that's when it ends.

He sighs.

"I opened the card yesterday. Mostly because I was bored. It has to do with fishing." He says.

"Oh." I whisper. That usually wouldn't be a problem but all the boats are gone from 4. I don't know about Finnick's personal one. But I don't think it would be wise to use it. "Well I could make you a cake."

"I don't really like cake Annie." He says. He sounds annoyed.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

"No." He says hesitantly.

"Okay. So about that cake." I say trying to change to subject.

He sighs.

"As I said I don't like cake."

I sigh. I knew this. I remember because for the first birthday I celebrated with him I made a cake. He complained all over dramatic saying he didn't like cake. Ever since then I have made him pie.

"I know weirdo that's why I make you a birthday pie." I say.

"I miss you." He says and I can tell he is smiling.

"I know. I know." I say and can feel tears filling my eyes. I breathe in and out deeply.

"It's okay Annie." He whispers.

"Maybe I can sneak some pie to you." I say.

"Maybe." He says.

It is silent. At first I think he has hung up.

"Ann-

"Finn-

I smile.

"You go first." I say.

"Remember you still can't say my name."

"Sorry." I whisper.

"It's okay."

"What were you going to say."

"That I love you. That I miss you. That I want you here… with me."

"I feel the same." I whisper.

"I also wanted to say, I'm going to the Capitol. I just felt like I should tell you. I want you to know where I am." He says.

"You'll be okay." I say but it is more like a question.

"I should be. I don't have to see clients… I just have to talk with Snow. I think it has to do with Marci" he pauses. "And Jason."

"I see." I whisper.

"Since he broke his promise maybe I will be set free." He says. I think he is being sarcastic.

"You know-

"I was kidding. Going there is a never a good thing."

"I know." I whisper. "I just wish I could see you. Be near you."

"Maybe I could make a request." He whispers.

"Maybe." I say but we both know nothing will happen.

"So about that pie birthday boy."

He sighs.

"What flavor do you want?" I ask.

"Annie there's no way you could give it to me. We are supposed to stay inside it's a lockdown remember. Can't have you get hurt." He says gently. I look down at my arm and remember getting burned my throat goes dry at the thought. "Annie. Annie." He says worried.

"I'm here and don't worry I can figure something out. Couldn't Tyler give it to you?" I ask.

"Annie there are like fifty peacekeepers just in Victors Village I don't think he will be able to sneak me a pie."

I sigh.

"Stop being such a downer. It's your birthday." I say.

"Doesn't that mean I can be downer. Aren't I supposed be able to do whatever I want."

I roll my eyes.

"I guess but don't worry because before the sun goes down you will have an Annie Cresta pie." I say. I can tell he is rolling his eyes.

"Okay." He says sarcastically.

"Don't worry Finnick Odair I can put a smile on your face."

"Hopefully. Those have been rare around here lately."

"Same." I whisper. "But making you a birthday pie will put a smile on my face."

"I know. You better get cooking good looking."

I involuntarily groan. He says this whenever I start to make him something and then he playfully pushes me to the kitchen.

I suddenly feel a tear roll down my cheek at the memories.

"I miss you." I say.

"I miss you too." He says.

"You never did say what flavor."

"Whatever you think is best."

"Okay I was thinking-

"But not apple."

"Okay."

"Or blueberry or…" he names off all the things he doesn't want. He does this every year and I always say the same thing.

"Cherry it is."

"That sounds delightful Annie." He smiles.

"Okay. I'm infatuated by you."

"I love you too." He says and hangs up the phone.

"Okay gotta start cooking." I say and get ready for the day.

I walk downstairs and jump when I hear my Mom.

"You seem better Annie." She says surprised

"Yes because I am making Finnick a pie."

"Finnick a pie?" She asks confused.

"It's his birthday. He needs his pie."

"Okay... but how is he going to get this pie? We can't go outside." She says confused.

"I haven't figured it out yet but I know I will figure it out." I smile and so does she.

"Do you want some help?" She asks.

"No." I shake my head. "This pie is for Finnick. So I need to make it or he won't be able to taste the love." I smile.

My Mom shakes her head and smiles.

"When did my daughter become so weird?"

"I didn't _become_ weird, I have always been this way." I say and she smiles.

I start making the pie crust while the oven his heating. Once that is done I start mixing the filling. Then the only thing left is to mix it all together and put it in the oven. I set the timer and head to the living and think how I can get this pie to Finnick.

"Annie." My Mother comes over and rubs flour off my face. "It's nice to see you happy again." She kisses my forehead.

"It's nice to feel happy." I whisper back.

The pie starts to cook and I get a bakery box to put it in. I put a bow on top and a note that says "_You're Twenty- Four!_."

"Okay, I'm gonna get this pie to him." I say and head for the cell phone.

"Let me speak with Tyler." I tell Finnick.

"Ann-"

"Do you want the pie or not."

"Testy. I'll give him a call. What do you want me to say?"

"To knock on my door and raid the house for this pie. Then he can give it to you."

He sighs.

"Annie that doesn't sound like the smartest plan. We don't want him to get into trouble."

"Isn't he like the peacekeeper in charge of this area?" I ask. However, I don't think this is true.

"He is one of the higher up people. In this section." He sighs.

"Please." I say.

"Fine I'll give it a try."

And try he does. Even though the plan is far fetched and seems like it wouldn't work it does. It took awhile because I didn't get his phone call for another two hours.

"Best pie yet Annie." He says and I can tell he is smiling.

I roll my eyes.

"You say that every year." I mutter.

"Because it's the truth. I can taste the love."

I rolls my eyes and smile.

"Good I'm glad."

"Thank you." He says.

"It was no trouble." I say.

"No... I meant for cheering me up. You always know what to say or do. I love you."

I smile and tears are forming in my eyes.

"You have a similar effect on me. I'm infatuated by you." I say with a smile.

"I should go. We shouldn't talk this much on the phone. Besides I have to go to the Capitol."

"Okay." I whisper.

"I'll call you once I'm back."

"I'll be waiting." I say and the phone line goes dead.

I don't feel sad. I feel happy. I can tell I made Finnick feel better. Even though it was just a simple gesture of pie


	141. Chapter 141

**Chapter 141**

I am starting to get worried. Finnick hasn't gotten back to me and it has been two weeks.

The district isn't on lockdown anymore but things have changed. There are still lots of peacekeepers everywhere but, wages and hours have been cut. I have a feeling that this isn't going to keep people backed off for long. If I was a normal citizen it would for me. I would be scared to death. I am scared to death.

I hear a knock on the door. I don't know who it will be. I walk to it slowly avoiding this.

I open the door and see Lana.

I swallow hard. I haven't talked to her since Jason died. I'm so worried that she hates me… that she wants nothing to do with me. Maybe she just came by to yell at me.

"Lana listen-"

I get cut off by her hugging me. She starts sobbing into my chest.

"I'm so glad you're okay." She sobs.

"Lana-

"Shhh." She says and I do.

She keeps stroking my hair.

"It's okay Lana. I'm okay." I say confused.

She stops crying and backs of. She wipes her nose on her sleeve.

"Why don't we sit down." I say and motion towards the couch.

She nods.

"Are you okay Lana?" I ask concerned

"Not really… I'm glad you are. After I heard… after I heard what happened to Jason… I… I didn't know if you were okay. I thought I lost you too." She says and hugs me.

"Well I'm fine Lana because of Jason." I say softly.

She nods.

"Lana listen about Jason…

"Shhh." She says and smiles. "It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault." She breathes in and out deeply. "He did this because he thought it was the right thing to do."

I nod.

"I wish people wouldn't say that. Jason died because of me." I whisper.

She brushes hair behind my ear.

"He wouldn't say that." She says and I believe her.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Okay." She smiles.

"So have you been alright? I mean the lockdown." I ask concerned.

She nods.

"I've been better but I'll get by." She says.

"I can give you money. I can give your family money." I say knowing that with cut wages it will be harder for them to get by.

"Do you really think taking a victors money is the wise thing to do now?" She asks.

I smile sadly.

"I guess it wasn't the best suggestion. If you need something I can get it for you though." I say.

"Okay." She says.

"Okay." I say.

She looks around.

"So do you know if Finnick is okay?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"I think he isn't in four. I think he is in the Capitol." I can't say I know because people might be listening in.

"Why do you think he is there?" She asks worried.

"Marci died, Jason died… they weren't meant to... maybe Snow wanted to talk with him."

"And want break the deal… I don't think so."

"I don't think so either but maybe he won't have to go as much." I say hopeful.

"Or maybe he will think Finnick will do whatever no matter what. Even if he kills off people he loves." She says softly. I didn't think of this.

"You don't think… you don't think Snow is going to kill me?"

She shakes her head.

"Finnick would lose it if he killed you." She smiles but it soon fades. "We know he has tried before..." She trails off. I don't have to argue. I know if I died it would be a strong possibility that he would kill himself even though he has other things other people worth living for.

"I guess." I say. Lana hugs me again.

We both jump at the sound of a siren.

"It's happening again." Lana whispers.

I nod.

I wait for the lockdown words but they don't come.

I let go of her and stand up.

"Annie no don't go outside. Something bad is clearly happening Lana." shouts as I hear her chase after me.

"Annie." I hear my Mom say coming downstairs.

Lana come over to me.

"No I have to see it. I have to see it!" I shout this time.

"Annie no." Lana says and grips my forearm tightly.

"Annie why don't you come to the kitchen. I can make us all some tea." My mom says.

I then hear something and then feel vibrations under my feet.

"Don't you want to see!" I shout as Lana starts to lead me to the kitchen.

"No I don't but, it will be over soon." She says as I feel another rumble under my feet.

"No. No." I have to know what's going on! Don't like being kept in the dark!" I shout. I get left in the dark far to often. I let go of her and then head for the door. I step outside and am not sure what to expect.

I can't see anything in the village but I do see lots of smoke in town. I hear the train on the track.

"Finnick." I whisper thinking that must be him. The trains don't come here very often. I start moving there before I can think.

I'm about half way there when I stop. I look down at my arm and trace the outline of the circle.

"You can't see him." I whisper and turn around.

I start to head to the clearing where the gazebo is. I don't think Finnick will come here even if he does it won't matter.

I turn around. I ran out of the house so quickly I don't have a babysitter despite all the peacekeepers in the village.

I sit down on the tree line.

I breathe in and out deeply. I scrunch my eyes together as I hear another bang.

_Why did I want to come outside?_ I think to myself.

I hear a rustling and assume it is some type of animal.

I sit down in the grass not caring about the gazebo.

I start to pull up some of the grass. I should go home but I don't care enough too. I want to stay outside. Even with the loud bangs and the annoying sirens. I hate being cooped up in that house. I hate not being able to be alone. I hate that I can't see Finnick.

I pull out some of the grass vigorously.

I stare out at the pond. I can see my reflection in the water because it is so clear. I touch the water with the tip of my finger and watch the ripple effect.

I smile and try to block out everything.

"Look out!" I hear someone shout it sounds like Finnick.

I look up confused but then see someone's reflection in the water. They look angry. They are coming at me with a knife. I have no idea who they are and don't care. They have a crazed look in their eyes. I try to jump in the pond but he grabs my hair hard and starts to pull me away somewhere.

"Get off!" I scream in pain. He is ripping my hair out.

He lets go but grabs me forcefully again. I fall down on my head hard. I hear a strange ringing in my ears that I'm sure isn't real and my vision has becoming disoriented so I'm confused when I see Finnick snapping that guys neck.


	142. Chapter 142

**Chapter 142**

I've never seen Finnick kill anyone… well not in front of me. I don't really remember his game. I was only twelve. I don't even remember his arena. He did say he didn't like walking near forests because of it. I'm assuming this t is why. I think the fear of spiders has always been there.

Finnick grabs my hand and pulls me up gently. He starts to lead me somewhere. I don't stop him. I think I'm more shocked that he just snapped someone's neck with almost no hesitation. Sure if he didn't do anything I would be dead right now but it's strange. I know he didn't like doing it. Finnick doesn't like killing people. I wonder with the riots if he has killed anyone else. I'm getting uncomfortable thinking about this. If I think too much then I will want to run away. I killed one person in the games as well. But I did hesitate which Finnick didn't.

"Here." He says and has me sit down on a stump. He moves his hand to the back of my head and I wince. When he pulls his hand back it has blood. He kisses my cheek.

It hurts when I breathe I'm worried I broke something inside. I did get pushed hard on the ground but my head got the worst of it

"Don't worry I can't fix that." He says gently.

I want to smile but don't.

"Annie." He says gently and rubs my knee. "Annie." He says a little louder. "Annie." He says and shakes my shoulder. "Ann." He says. Has he ever called me this before? If he has I don't remember.

He sighs.

"You'll come back soon." He says.

_Come back? _I think to myself.

Then I realize he thinks I have checked out. I don't do this too often or if I do 't I don't remember.

He moves behind me and I can feel his fingers on the back of my head. He is braiding my hair. I think to get a better look at the wound because he doesn't do it all over.

I feel him stick something on my head and want to wince but I want to see if he says anything.

He breathes in and out deeply.

"That should be good enough now." He says and does something else with my hair. I'm assuming to keep it away from the wound but Finnick does like my hair braided and up.

If I do zone out and am this dead to the world this must happen more than I think.

I feel him kiss the top of my head.

Finnick breathes in and out deeply.

"You're okay." I hear him whisper to himself. I think he is talking about me but it could be himself. He comes back around to sit in front of me. I'm trying to stare at the sky.

"What should I tell you?" He says at a normal level.

I'm confused by this. What is he going to tell me?

"I'm sorry for killing someone in front of you... but I had too." He sighs. "No you didn't."

I think he is wrong by that. That man was going to kill me. Although Finnick could've just injured him. I think it just all happened too fast.

He smirks and laughs a little.

_What is so funny? Has he lost it because he killed someone? _

That is justified that's why victors are all messed up and other reasons.

He puts his hands on his face and they soon migrate to his messy hair.

"No one decent ever wins those games." He stares at me for a long time. His face is very calculated. "Except you. You weren't supposed to win." He says and his hand rubs my forearm. "Then why did you?" He asks.

_That is a very good question._ One no one has the answer too.

"I like to think it was for me." He says.

I'm confused by this statement. Did he actually do something when I won in the t arena all those years ago.

"I would be gone by now." He says. I think I know what he means by that, but I don't want to accept that. "No one would've taken me to the hospital that second time. But that's a silly and selfish reason." He says.

I flinch a little.

"Annie?" He says hopeful.

I move my hand to my hair to see what he has done.

"It's okay." He says and gently and pulls my hands away. He laces his fingers with mine and smiles.

I don't know what to say.

"Annie?" He says worried again.

"Finnick." I say.

"It's me Annie you're safe now. I think you have a concussion. We should get you looked at." He smiles.

I cock my head to the side and look at him.

"Annie can you say something?" He asks worried.

"I… I don't know." I say and he nods. "When did you come home?" I ask my voice sounds strange.

"Not that long, within an hour… I'm good too because…" he sighs "Annie… I had to." He says but I can tell he doesn't believe that.

"I know." I say.

He smiles sadly this isn't the answer he was hoping for.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"My head hurts." I say and move my hands to my head.

"Well you did get thrown to the ground and your hair pulled out."

The atmosphere starts spinning.

"Finnick it really hurts!" I shout more like sob.

Finnick looks worried. He isn't supposed to be with me so he can't take me to the hospital screaming. I've never been shot but I get the feeling this is what it feels like.

He is just staring at me confused.

"Finnickkkk!" I sob. I try to lay down but that makes the spinning and hurting worse.

"I'm gonna get help." He says.

I'm stomping my feet from the pain. It feels like something inside my head exploded. It feels like my head will explode off into a million pieces.

I scream loudly a blood curdling scream that I'm sure can be heard throughout the village.

The dizziness is too much. I vomit.

I remember when I was little Lana and I would always see who could spin around the longest. Whoever did won. However they were really the loser because they had that nauseous feeling. I feel like that now but it feels like someone is stabbing my brain.

Finnick is saying something but I don't hear. I think I hear him leave. A few minutes later I feel a pinch in my neck and everything goes black.

* * *

I wake up and feel hazy I notice I'm in the hospital. I have an IV in my arm and other stuff hooked up to me. I'm here alone. I feel scared.

"Miss Cresta." I hear the doctor pull open. "You had some fall."

"I didn't fall." I mumble.

"Well that is what we were told. You probably don't remember much, head injures cause that."

"How did I get here?" I ask.

"Someone brought you in once they heard you screaming in town."

_In town?_

I wasn't in town. I was somewhere near the tree line. Far away from everyone.

"Yes." He says.

"Well can I see them?" I ask.

"Actually yes. They wanted to stay until you woke up."

Tyler comes into view. Who else would Finnick find to take me to the hospital.

"Annie." He smiles. "You seem alright now."

"I need to check on your tests. I'll be right back Miss. Cresta." The doctor says and walks off

"I wasn't in town." I say.

"I know. Finnick rushed to Victors Village. I could hear you screaming from there. You weren't hard to find."

"Oh…" I say.

"I have a message for you Annie." He says.

"What would that be?" I ask confused.

"There are people around everywhere. Even if you think no one is looking. You aren't safe."

"Okay?" I say confused. I sort of knew this already. "This why that person was trying to kill me?" I ask confused.

"No... that was a citizen who... got out of control because of protesting." He says very calculated. I'm sure that man is dead by now.

"Oh." I say.

"Annie, you have to listen to what Demetrius says. You can't see Finnick anymore. You can't call him either. Do you understand?" He asks and I look at him strangely.

"I know." I say annoyed.

"Finnick sends his sorrow and also guilt." I forgot how formal Tyler is. He is a peacekeeper maybe that is why.

"Tell him I understand. I know that he had to." I say softly.

He nods

"Please be careful Annie." He says and smiles. He starts to leave the room.

"Tyler wait." I say and he turns around.

"Yes?"

"Is he okay?" I ask.

"He has seen better days Annie. You aren't supposed to kill. It tears your soul apart. Even when you know you have to. It still isn't right. We both know that." He smiles and I nod. "I should go. He will want an update on you."

"Do you know anything?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"You're awake and that's good enough for him." He says. "Goodbye Annie."

"Goodbye Tyler." I say. I hope Finnick is alright. I hope he doesn't think I view him as some monster now. I don't. I just love him.

I can feel a tear drip down my cheek.

"I love you." I whisper to myself.

I hear the doctor come back and flinch.

"What happened to me?" I whisper.

"Your brain started hemorrhaging and you have a cracked skull. You needed surgery right away. Don't worry about the hair though. You need to look nice. They are sending someone out to make you look nice again.

I roll my eyes. I don't care about my hair.

I look in the mirror and see they did shave a great deal of my hair probably to have a better look at my head.

"How long have I been here?" I ask.

"Almost a week."

"Oh." I whisper and move my hand to back of my head. I can feel stitches.

"Try not to touch those." He says and I nod.

"Miss Cresta you have to stay here for a great deal as well."

I nod.

"Is anyone here for me?" I whisper afraid that the answer will be no.

He nods.

"I'll get them."

_Them_? I think. That means there is more than one person.

I hear the door open and smile.

"Mommy." I whimper.

"Annie." I hear and feel my Moms arms around me. "Oh sweetie you're alright." She says with tears in her eyes. She strokes what is left of my hair.

"I know." I whisper.

"Good. You had me worried for awhile."

I nod and hold her for awhile.

"Is anyone else here?" I whisper.

She shakes her head.

"Why?"

"The doctor said _them _so I thought… maybe." I trail off.

"Lana said she would come by when you were awake."

I nod.

She kisses my forehead.

"He still can't see you. Lana will tell him you're alright." She smiles.

I nod.

"I want to go home." I sob. "I want to see Finnick." I lie down and press my knees to my chest. "I want to forget all of this."

She rubs my back.

"You'll be home soon." Is all she says. She doesn't want to give me false hope of me seeing Finnick and I can't forget. I wish I could but, I can't.

I sigh and then close my eyes and sleep.

* * *

I stay in the hospital a little over a month. They had to make sure I was alright and I had some type of rehab. I didn't think I was damaged that much but the doctor said my hand eye coordination wasn't that great. It never was. Finnick would tease me about it constantly.

I shake my head.

I have tried not to think of Finnick. The last thing he said before I started screaming was he didn't have to kill that man. He's right he didn't. But, if he didn't am I certain I would be dead? No I'm certain but I'm not certain I would be alive either. It doesn't bother me but it does bother him. I've only talked to Lana and my Mom. Lana whispered to me that Pearl tried to see me but were 'asked' to leave. At least Finnick had the common sense not to come and find me. Even though I know every fiber of his being is telling him to see me.

My Mom holds my hand as we walk back home.

"Who do you think they are going to send?" She asks.

"What?" I ask confused.

"To fix your hair." She says.

I grit my teeth. I almost forgot they were sending someone. I will admit I do look a bit ridiculous with most of hair on the left side gone. I can image this could be a neat hair cut in the Capitol but it doesn't matter.

"Probably Yule." I say in a deadpan voice. I don't like him and he doesn't like me.

She nods.

"I'm glad you're alright Annie." She squeezes my hand. I get the feeling I almost died. She wouldn't be this worried.

"Me too." I say.

When we get to Victors Village I see the normal things but when we get closer to the house it is apparent someone is there.

"It must be Lana." My Mom says but I can hear the doubt.

We walk through the door and don't see Lana.

"Annie. Looks like I'm the one who can make you look beautiful again." Dean says.

* * *

Dean starts pulling out all of this hair. I don't want to ask if it's real or fake. I don't think I will like the answer.

"I can fix you right up. This will take some time. It will also hurt they said I should stay a few days."

_A few days!_

"It's because of the pain." He says. I look at him worried and confused.

"How can putting hair extensions be so painful?" I say confused.

"No Annie these aren't extensions. It's hair that is made to reattach to your scalp in case you start going bald." He smiles." It is painful because each strand needs to be attached to the hair follicle so new hair can grow off it. I tried to get as close to your color as possible." He smiles. I like Dean. If I had to choose out of the prep team it would've been him. He seems the most down to earth.

"So it doesn't take too long because it's painful?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"Just daunting." He says with a smile.

He has me sit down on the couch and starts to do whatever he is supposed to. He takes out some device that looks like a very small version of a staple gun.

He loads a single strand of hair to it and then moves it to my scalp. I groan from the slight pinch. It isn't terrible. I think it will take longer because his hands and arms will get tired.

"This would probably have been faster if Yule or Diana came as well." I say. I wouldn't like that but, it would be faster.

A crease appears between his eyebrows.

"Well, they didn't think it was important but don't worry Annie. I do. I think you're important." He smiles and puts another hair in my head.

Yule and Diana were supposed to come but they didn't want to. They didn't think I was important enough to fix.

It's quite again. My Mom comes in and gives me food. She asks Dean if he wants anything but politely declines.

I sigh after awhile.

"I think it is break time." He says. He gets a mirror and I see he has barely accomplished anything.

"That's all?" I say because it has been hours.

"I have to do it one hair at a time. This is usually a multiple person job but I can get it done for you Miss. Cresta." He smiles and so do I.

My Mother asks if he wants something to eat and this time he says yes. She gives him tea and we sit at the kitchen table and exchange chit chat.

"So Annie Four seems different." He says causally. His voice doesn't hold naiveness. He is concerned. He knows what's going on here and it isn't the lies they probably told him.

"Oh we had this terrible accident." I say trying not to roll my eyes.

"I was told that as well and that you have been having terrible weather. But yet I see sunshine." He says strangely.

"Why would you think we were having had weather?" I ask confused.

"Well why else can't we have any shellfish in the Capitol. There must be _some_ kind of problem." He laughs.

I nod. He knows there is a problem here and he knows damn well it isn't from the weather.

"What's it like in the Capitol?"

"Same old. Although Yule is quite angry because he has been having trouble getting the fabrics he adores."

"I see." I say. That's District 8's responsibility.

"There have been many back orders for the newest update of phones. We have all had to struggle with these old things." He says and pulls out a 'phone'. Well that is what he called it. It doesn't look like a phone. It is a rectangle. It looks like glass. He presses his fingers on it and it lights up. It goes to a home screen and shows all these icons. It's not like the phone Finnick had that just flipped open and closed.

"Does this thing really call people?" I ask surprised.

He nods.

"Oh yes, but people rarely call we all love to text." He says. I have no idea what he means by this. I'm not going to ask because I don't care. "However, it is _so_ outdated. People have preordered the newest one for over a year and yet they say there is none in stock." He puts his phone back in his pocket. "Can you believe it?"

"No. I can't." I'm assuming this would be District 3's responsibility. It has to do with technology.

"The finest furniture can't be bought as much either. The designers can't seem to find the right wood to work their wonders with." That's District 7.

"Breweries are also having trouble making beer. Apparently there is a shortage of grain." That's District 9.

He talks about other odds and ends. It also sounds like 11 has been slacking with supplies. They aren't slacking. It's too big of a coincidence for all these supplies to have a shortage. They aren't shortages they are revolts. Acts of defiance. I know Dean knows this as well.

3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 11. That's at least half of the Districts and who knows what is happening in the other six.

I know why this is happening. Katniss. She's opened up Pandora's Box without even realizing it. She's given people an opportunity and they are taking it. I wonder what she is feeling right now. She saw us on the Victory Tour, I'm sure she sensed something wasn't right here.

But she didn't ask for any of this. She was just trying to go home. Probably for her sister. She did volunteer for her.

"We should start again." Dean says interrupting my thoughts.

"Wait." I say.

"We can stop for the day if it hurts you too much." He says worried.

"No… I was just going to ask. What do you think of all these shortages?" I ask.

"I think it was bound to happen eventually." He smiles.

Does he know something I don't. I open my mouth but he shushes me and heads me back to the chair as I get hair planted in my head.

* * *

It takes Dean three days to make me 'pretty' again. I look the same. The new hair is a little darker so you can tell if I am in the right light. Dean says he can die it later if I want. I don't really care but, I told him thanks for the offer.

My hair also feels heavier, I wonder if I have more hair than before either that or it is thicker.

"Now I know it might feel heavier but you will get used to the new weight. Also don't wash your hair for a few days because the hair hasn't exactly set." Dean says nicely.

I nod.

"Thank you for coming." I tell him.

"It was my pleasure." He says with a smile. I hug him I don't know why. I do like him and he did a nice thing even though I thought it was unecessary.

"I'll see you for the Quarter Quell Annie."

"You too." I tell him. I forgot this year was a Quarter Quell. It is always the tenth year of Finnick being a victor.

I walk Dean to the train station, mostly to get out of the house. I start to head back to my house but, end up near the exit of Victors Village. I can see Finnick's house clearly. I lean against the sign.

I hear a noise behind me and jump. I look and see it was just a peacekeeper joining me.

I sigh.

I want Finnick to know I'm alright but, I can't call him.

I sigh.

I look down at the ground and the rocks at are under my feet and get an idea.

I pick up one of the rocks. I look over my shoulder at the peacekeeper and he looks bored. I throw the rock and it ends up hitting Finnick's window. It leaves a scratch but I know he will mind.

I see Finnick go to the window. I smile and wave at him. He waves as well and it looks like a tear rolls down his cheek.

"I love you." I mouth.

"I love you too." He mouths back.


	143. Chapter 143

**Chapter 143**

It's been a few days since I came home from the hospital and everything seems fine. Well considering the new definition for fine in my life.

I haven't seen Finnick since I came home. I think he went back to the Capitol. I don't know why. I'm worried about him. I'm worried about me. I'm just worried.

I can't stop thinking about what Dean said either, about all the Districts and about the Quell. I hadn't really thought about the Quarter Quell. I don't want to know the horror that they came up with. I don't think I would be able to take seeing four faces on the screens instead of two.

My mouth goes dry at the thought. I should get used to it because in a few months the reaping will take place.

_At least you can see Finnick again._ I think to myself.

I look at the crisp blue sky. I'm outside in my backyard. I turned the fountain on mostly to drown out noise in case someone is screaming or if there are gun shots. I know it probably won't help but it makes me feel at ease.

I tap my heels together. I have a feeling of wanting to go home but I am home.

I hear the door slide open and see my Mom.

"Sweetie how do you feel?" She asks.

"Fine… I guess."

She sits next to me.

"What's wrong sweetie?" She says and rubs my forearm.

"I want to go home." I whisper.

"You are home." She says gently.

"I don't feel like it. I feel like I'm forced to live here… I am being forced to live here… it was better before… Finnick…" I say. I can feel my eyes well with tears. I guess I was right. My home is whenever I'm with Finnick but I can't be with him anymore.

I sigh.

"I just want to see Finnick again. It's not because he killed someone-"

"Annie what are you talking about?" She asks confused.

Oops I didn't tell her. She didn't even ask how I got hurt. Maybe she believed the I just started screaming in town. She isn't that dense… she probably didn't ask… maybe she thought I wouldn't tell. Which is true I wouldn't have told her Finnick killed someone even though that person would've killed me.

"It was self defense." I whisper.

"Okay." She says and strokes my hair and kisses my forehead. I'm surprised she didn't ask more questions. She might not want to know but I think the more obvious reason is she knows I wouldn't want to tell.

"I think you should come inside soon sweets it's supposed to rain." She says and stands up.

"Okay." I whisper and tap my heels together again.

"It will be fine Annie. Everything will be fine." She says and smiles knowing my hatred for rain storms.

I nod and then she heads inside.

I sigh and in an hour I head inside.

* * *

"AHHHH!" I scream myself awake.

"Annie." I hear my Mom say. I was asleep on the couch. I was too afraid to go upstairs. The rain was too much. I could almost feel the house shaking from the loud claps of thunder.

"It's okay sweets." She says and rubs my back.

I don't say anything I just pick at a loose string of the couch pillow.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay." She says,

I sniffle.

"How?" I whisper.

"It just will be Annie." She says and kisses my forehead.

I make a whimpering sound and let tears fall from my eyes.

* * *

It rained for three days straight and I was miserable for all of it. I barely slept. I think I'm going delusional… lack of sleep does that to people.

I hear a knock at the door. I'm confused as to who it would be. My Mom left an hour ago to get more food and supplies. I don't think it is Lana.

I walk to the door slowly. When I open the door I'm surprised by who I find.

I can't even say anything. He grabs me so quickly that I loose all the air from my lungs.

"Annie." He whispers and strokes my hair.

"Finnick." I say and lean my head into his chest. This feels too real to be an illusion that only I can see. It's too real.

I close my eyes tightly and grip the back of his shirt tightly. I am pretty much white knuckling it.

"Please be real." I whisper.

**A/N: sorry it's so short but Christmas time is always really busy in my household. ;)**


	144. Chapter 144

**Chapter 144**

"You're shaking." He whispers.

"I… I… you're here." I whisper.

"I'm here." He says and rubs my back.

"How?"

"I walked through the door." He says smugly.

I roll my eyes.

"What are you doing here? I mean _should_ you be here?".

"Yes. I should always be by you Annie." He says seriously.

"But-" I get cut off by him kissing me.

He cups my face in his hands and leans his forehead against mine.

"Recent events have lifted the rules for us." He kisses the top of my head. "It's gonna be like before." He kisses my cheek. "I can live here again." He kisses my other cheek. "And we don't ever have to leave each other." He kisses my lips. "Okay?" He whispers.

I wonder what did it. Marci and Jason dying or me ending up in the hospital and I'm assuming almost dying…

"Okay?" He says and starts to move his fingers through my hair.

"Finnick don't do that." I say.

"Why?"

I breathe in and out deeply. I can smell Finnick. The sea breeze that always seems to be on his skin, the salt from the sea water, and melon because he steals my shampoo. His lips also taste like sugar. He was eating salt water taffy.

I sigh and move my head closer to his chest.

_Finnick_. Is all I can think.

"Annie?" He says confused.

I kiss his chest and look up at him. He smiles at me.

"What's wrong?" He asks and runs his fingers through my hair again.

"It might fall out." I say barely audible. I didn't want Finnick to know everything just a cliff notes version. I really just wanted him to know that I'm okay now.

He looks at me confused.

"Just… don't interrupt." I say softly and he nods.

I explain what happened after he left to find Tyler. How I woke up in the hospital alone. How I needed surgery and most of my hair got shaved off. How I had to stay in the hospital for a month and how I'm supposed to be on some type of bed rest because of my bruised ribs. Apparently being dragged around like a rag doll can do that to you.

Although I like Finnick's arms wrapped around me. Him hugging me is like a piece of glass is breaking inside my body.

Finnick's look turns to concerned then guilty then an emotion I can't read.

"It's okay." I say. "Finnick." I say and move my hands to the back of his neck.

"I'm okay." He says in a cold removed tone. "You should probably lay down." He says still with no emotion.

"Finnick." I say. He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. I wince on the way down.

I lay down and place my head on his lap. He starts to stroke my hair but soon stops. His hands migrate to my shoulders and he starts to rub them.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply it still hurts but I feel better.

"Finnick." I whisper and end up falling asleep.

* * *

I wake up and look around. I don't see Finnick. Which means it was probably just a dream.

I sit up slowly.

"Finnick." I say sadly.

"Good you're awake." His voice startles me and I end of screaming.

He hurries over to me and holds my hand.

"Did I scare you? I know I wasn't in the room… I also know you're an unusually jumpy person." He smiles.

I reach out my hands and put them on his face and start to trace the contours. I'm pretty much smushing his face.

"Annie." His voice is muffled from my hands. He places his hands over mine and takes them off his face. He kisses the top of my left hand then my right. "It's okay." He kisses my cheek. "It's okay now." He says and smiles at me but his eyes contain worry.

"You don't have to leave?" I whimper.

"No." He kisses my forehead. "Not for awhile anyways."

"How long is _awhile_?" I ask with a mix of disgust and worry. I guess I will never be able to be with Finnick forever. Someone else will always _need_ him. I know he would rather spend every second of every day with me but unfortunately that will not happen. I'm just glad I can be with him.

"Around when the games start… clients… but don't worry I won't be away from you for a few months." He smiles and runs his thumbs down my cheeks until they are resting underneath my chin.

I smile.

"I love you." I say and hug him.

"I love you too Cresta."

I smile. I think only Finnick calls me this.

"But Finnick that Quell" I say.

"Ah yes don't worry about that Annie. Not now at least." He says.

"But-"

"I know the card reading is coming up, but don't worry everything will be fine." He smiles.

"Card reading?" I look at him confused.

"That's how they deliver the _special_ twist it's a few months before the games." He says gently.

"Oh… well at least I can prepare myself I guess." I mumble.

"Don't worry it will be fine." He kisses me.

"I don't want their to be double the tributes." I say.

"Does the Capitol strike you as doing things twice?" He smiles.

"No…"

"Then it will be fine." He smiles

"Okay." I say.

"Now as for the agenda… number one seeing you." He smiles and so do I. "Number two we have to get all my stuff here. That is if you still want me here." He smiles.

"Of course I do, you know that. However, I'm not supposed to be doing heavy labor Finnick." I mumble. It's not like he has Jason's help this time either.

"I know, I know." He smiles. "But I'm big _strong_ Finnick Odair I can do anything." He smiles and I roll my eyes. "All of my junk isn't number one priority anyways... you are." He says and I smile and he kisses me.

"I love you." I whisper against his skin.

"And I you." He says and kisses my cheek.

"I missed you. Terribly." I sniffle.

"Don't cry Annie. I'm here now and that is all that matters. Okay?"

"Okay." I say and wrap my arms around him.


	145. Chapter 145

**Chapter 145**

"Finnick what are you doing!" I yell as he picks me up.

"Carrying you downstairs you said you weren't supposed to be moving around." He smiles.

"I think I can manage the stairs. I'm not going to fall down." I say annoyed.

"Don't want to risk that." He says with a smile. "You need to be taken care of and I love doing that." He says.

I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me downstairs.

He puts me down on the couch gently.

"Here we are." He says and starts to ruffle with pillows and blankets.

"Finnick." I laugh.

"Yes?" He smiles.

"Take a chill pill I'm fine." I smile and he plops down next to me.

"You need to be taken care of. I want to be that person… again." He says and hugs me.

"Okay." I say and look at him. "Is this how you felt when I was taking care of you after that… uh incident?"

He bobs his head back and forth thinking.

"Maybe… but it's alright." He kisses my forehead. "At least you know how it will feel."

"Okay." I say and roll my eyes.

Finnick gets me something to eat.

I think about Dean's visit and what he told me. I feel like I should tell Finnick.

"Finnick I think I should tell you something." I say with a mouthful of sandwich.

Finnick smiles.

"What's that?"

"When Dean came and fixed my hair... he told that the Capitol was uh… not up to snuff."

"What do you mean?" He asks intrigued and takes a bite from his sandwich.

"Well… like Yule couldn't get fabrics he needed for the opening ceremonies. Apparently, there is a fabric shortage."

"What else did he say?" Finnick asks.

"Uh… breweries can't make beer from lack of grain… new phones aren't getting handed out… no

new furniture because there's no wood and of course no fish but that is for the obvious reasons." I say.

Finnick nods and we eat in silent for a few minutes.

"Annie don't tell anyone else this okay?" He says gently.

"Okay...?" I say confused.

"Knowing information like this

Is dangerous."

I roll my eyes.

"I'm serious." He says. He looks at me and his eyes have changed to a dark evergreen. They are always this color when he is saying something important.

"Okay." I say.

He smiles and then kisses me.

"Good. Now when do you think you can start walking and stuff?" He asks.

"I dunno next week?"

He smiles widely.

"Good that's good." He says.

I look at him strangely.

"What are you planning?" I ask.

"Don't worry about it Annie." He kisses me. "You'll find out soon."

"Finnick gesture?"

"You'll find out soon." He says again.

I roll my eyes.

"I'll be anxiously waiting."

"I know you will." He smiles

/

I wake up and look at Finnick. He has that half smile he does when he is sleeping peacefully.

I kiss his forehead and lay back down.

Finnick has most of his stuff back here with the help of Lana, my Mom, myself when I was feeling better, and the surprise guest. Bryson. I don't know what made Finnick want to talk with him but, they seem to be… okay. I think he is doing this more for Marci than anything. I know it wasn't just for the muscle.

I kiss Finnick's forehead.

"I love you." I whisper.

I start to get ready for the the day.

I walk downstairs and start to make breakfast. I make omelets this time. I rarely have eggs for breakfast. They aren't my favorite but I'm in one of those moods.

I start to flip through a cook book while eating to decide what I should make for dinner. I'm trying to make new things. Mostly because Finnick is good at that. Finnick is a much better chief than myself, no matter what he says. He doesn't even need a recipe most of the time.

I grab some sticky notes to mark the pages that sound nice and easy. I clean my dishes and decide to clean the house. With moving all of Finnick's things, the house is a bit messy. I want to vacuum because the floor has odds and ends on it but, I know that would wake Finnick. I don't want that.

I start humming to myself when Finnick comes downstairs.

"Hello Annie." Finnick says surprising me because he rarely initiates talking in the morning.

"Hellooo Finnick." I smile. "You're in a good mood."

"I had a good nights rest and an. epiphany."

"Good lord." I say.

"What?" He asks confused.

"When you say things like that it means you have some big thing cooked up."

"Relax Annie it was just a thought."

"Do I want to know?" I ask.

"You will." He smiles.

"Remember it's unplugged." I say as he reaches for the coffee maker.

"I know." He smiles.

"Just reminding because you hadn't lived here in a while."

He smiles.

"How could I forget something like this."

"Well you did on a daily basis." I smirk and he rolls his eyes.

He goes back to making breakfast and then gets ready for the day.

He walks downstairs all fresh and showered.

He goes to the kitchen counter and starts to play with a piece of paper. I think he is just scribbling random lines.

He stops drawing and walks towards me.

"I've got to go Annie." He says.

"Where?" I ask confused.

"I want to see Pearl. Marci's birthday was around this time. I-"

"Go." I say and he smiles. I can't tell him not to go. Although I could've sworn Mari's birthday was a few more months away.

"I love you." He says and kisses my cheek.

"I love you too."

"Good." He says and kisses me. "I'll see you soon." He says and leaves.

I walk over to the counter where Finnick was fiddling with a piece of paper.

I see he has written on it. So like any other person, I read it.

_Annie I'm sorry but I just lied to you._

"Finnick." I mutter angrily.

_Don't get all upset like I'm sure you're doing._

I smile.

_I just wanted to say I love you. Now turn the paper over._

"Good lord." I whisper.

_I know you can find me. Clue # 1_

I could probably run outside and find him. Although, I know that wouldn't be true. This is a Finnick gesture.

Which means it is a lot more complicated than that.


	146. Chapter 146

**Chapter 146**

_What are you planing now Finnick? _I think.

I should've expected this I've not seen Finnick in almost a whole year. A Finnick gesture should've been a guarantee. This is another reason why I love him, because he is kinda a dork. I just wonder what he's cooked up this time.

I smile and look down at the card.

_Clue # 1: I'm not going to leave the Village so I'm close within your reach. Now to next clue maybe look for something __**old**_

I wonder why old is written darker than the others. I doubt it matters.

"Something old?" I say. The oldest thing in the house would be the dish wear set that was his grandmothers.

I go to the cubbard and find an envelope sitting on top of a plate.

I smile.

The envelope reads_ Clue # 2: __Congrats Annie now that you've found something __**old**__ let's try something __**new**_

What is with the underlined words? I think.

_Hint since this is very vague I will give you another clue. Look in the bedroom._

I roll my eyes and head upstairs.

"You're making this one too easy." I smile and pick up the purple lilies on the nightside table that weren't here before.

I wonder when he did all of this. We've been together the whole time. Even if we did leave I wouldn't let him out of my sight. Maybe he did this when I was sleeping but that doesn't seem like Finnick's style. Especially the flowers… I would notice thaem when I woke up.

_Clue # 3: This one was rather easy but I needed to give the most beautiful flowers for the most beautiful girl. _

I can't help but smile.

_Now you found __**old**__ and __**new**__ let's try something __**borrowed**_

Old, new, and borrowed why does that sound familiar?

_Hint: it's still in the bedroom._

"It's probably something that is Lana's."

I go to the closet and see the clue hanging from a string on one of Lana's sweatshirts.

I yank off the clue.

_Clue # 4 Congrats Annie! You have __**old**__, __**new**__, and __**borrowed**__… I think you should try something __**blue**__.You'll find it under something blue. _

_Hint: You'll find it in the kitchen._

Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue... that's what a bride is supposed to wear on her wedding day… is Finnick…

"That's ridiculous." I mutter not wanting to think that. He would be foolish if he did. He would know my answer.

I go to the kitchen.

We don't have many blue things in the kitchen… I think

"Do we have any blue things in the kitchen?" I mutter. I look for ten minutes before I find it.

"Aha!" I say with pride.

I pick up the tea kettle and see the next clue underneath it.

Our tea kettle is silver but Finnick always says it has a blue tint to it

_Last One: You found __**old**__, __**new**__, __**borrowed**__, and __**blue**__. The only think left to find is me._

I smile.

_I'm hiding in a place where I think about you… __**only**__ you._

I know this one immediately, the gazebo.

I skip out of the house and head there. I have bad memories of getting tazed here but it goes away when I see Finnick standing in the middle of the gazebo. I think I see flowers as well.

"Finnick." I say with a smile as I step into the gazebo.

"I'm disappointed, I thought you would be here an hour ago." He teases.

"Well sorry some of those clues were a little difficult."

"Really?" He says surprised.

"Well clue three wasn't hard to figure out… it was hard to figure out clue 4" I smile

"Well it doesn't matter now because you're here." He smiles and takes my hand and brings it to his lips. He then gets down and kneels.

"What the hell are you doing Finnick?" I ask confused an answer crosses my mind but I'm certain that isn't what is going on.

"That's not a very nice thing to say right now Annie." He smiles.

"Finnick-"

"Shh. Let me talk. No interruptions. Okay?" He asks waiting for an answer.

I nod and he smiles.

"Okay. Now Annie I'm sure it goes without saying that I love you." He says and I nod. "But I love telling you that every day because I want you to know. I also want you to know how special you are to me so I tell you everyday."

I know he does this and I like it. It makes me feel all giddy. Sometimes I don't believe him but still… it's nice.

"And I want to continue to say these things for rest of my life. Before I met you Annie… my life was different. I didn't really have a friend and now I have a best one. I didn't like talking to anyone else but I can't not tell you anything… Annie. I love you. I love you even though our love has been overwhelming, humbling, and even painful. You know all of this."

I nod.

"Anyways Annie like the tides in the ocean they can sometimes be rough or calm but the waves always roll in. They always come back. I will always love you Annie no matter what."

"Annie." He says.

"Yes?" I ask. Is he going to ask me what I think he is?

"Would you do me the honor of marrying me?" He asks with a smile.

I know the answer immediately so I'm not shocked when I hear a 'No' escape my lips.


	147. Chapter 147

**Chapter 147 **

Finnick stands up and looks at me confused

"Did you just say no?" He asks baffled.

"Yes." I say.

"What do you mean no?" Finnick asks confused and slightly angry. I don't blame him he definitely thought about this and the way he asked was cute too.

"I'm sorry Finnick I can't marry you." I say.

"Yes you can I have it all worked out... but it would have to be-"

"A secret? " I say somewhere between sadness and disgust.

"Well that's not the word I would've used because everyone here will know" He smiles.

That is something, but I would want everyone to know. I would want to be able to tell everyone. 'See that idiot over there, well I married him' I can't do that if I have to hide it from everyone. I just hope Finnick doesn't take this the wrong way.

"Snow wouldn't allow this anyways ... Finnick, you can't be that naive." I don't want to fight with him on this, epically since I want to marry him.

"He won't care as long as it doesn't get in the way with... my work." He says gently.

I shake my head.

"That's not how it should be, if you want to marry me... it has to be just you... and just me... no more clients getting in the way. I can't share you-"

"What's the difference? It's the same thing that is going on now."

"I know... that's why it should be different. It's supposed to be special... it's supposed to be celebration. How can it be when everyone will be thinking, when _I _will be thinking you just have to go back to work... to be with others-"

"I don't understand..." He says and rubs the back of his neck.

"I don't really expect you to. I do love you." I say.

He sighs.

"And I do want to marry you, I just can't... not like this..." I say.

I remember what Marci said that one day so long ago . 'You'll marry him one day, his good looks will fade and he will get all old and ugly, then Annie you can marry him.'

"Maybe one day." I say.

He sighs.

"It's not like you wanted to go the Justice Building today." I say. I'm hoping that wasn't the case. I know Finnick wouldn't do that.

"Well no... but sometime this month, before the reaping was my plan... I even got this." He smiles and takes a ring that was next to the flowers.

"Finnick..."

"It didn't cost anything if you were worried. Then again with being a victor I doubt that would matter." He smiles and starts to come over here.

"Stop I don't want to see it, not until it is all official"

He rolls his eyes.

"Let me at least show you." He says eagerly.

"Couldn't it be bad luck?" I ask worried. I don't want to see it because then I will feel worse than I already do.

"That's only if I see the bride on her wedding day." He smiles

"Oh alright." I say.

He smiles and takes my hand and puts the ring on. I thought he would just show it to me.

"It's beautiful, no?" He smiles

I look down, it has a skinny silver band. It would be simple if it wasn't for the evergreen pearl inlay. In District 4 most married people wear a gold band I doubt it is real gold. There are some rings that are more fancy but this is outlandish it's almost unheard of.

"Finnick it is beautiful but I don't doubt for a minute you didn't go down to Pearl Palace and buy this or at least the pearl.."

Pearl Palace is a shop in town that sells pearls and jewelry and other items that have to do with pearls. The prices vary depending of the value and etc. I don't think the shop is still open considering they can't go diving for oysters.

He rolls his eyes.

"No, like I said I didn't spend anything." He smiles. "It was my Mother's. My Father made it for her."

"Wow." I say not fully believing him. I'm sure it was his Mother's but I don't think his Dad made it."

"He found the pearl at least." He says probably knowing what I am thinking. "And as I'm sure you know green ones are hard to come by.

I nod.

"I do know. Like I said it's beautiful." I say.

I start to take it off but I find Finnick's fingers stopping me.

"Keep it on." He smiles.

"But, Finnick-"

"I like seeing it on you."

"Finnick you got this as an engagement ring and we aren't-"

"It could just be a nice ring." He smiles

I sigh

"Please? If you say someday then what does it matter?" Finnick says frustrated.

"Because I don't know if I ever can marry you... I want to but I need to know 100% that I will be able to marry you and have only you."

He nods

"You know I can't control this situation right?" He says sadly.

"I know, but that doesn't change what I'm thinking. I'm sorry and I love you, you know that right?"

He nods.

"I wish my life could be different." He says and sits down.

I sit next to him.

"But, it's not..."

"I know. I just wish it was. Then I could have a normal relationship with you. Not go away to technically cheat on you."

"You're not cheating on me, you have to do those things or else I'll die." I say.

"I think that is a shade of gray."

"Life isn't always black and white. For the most part it is gray. All I know is that no matter what I will love you." I turn to look at him and kiss him. "Always."

Finnick rests his forehead against mine.

"I love you too." He kisses the tip of my nose "Always." He whispers.

I hug him and lean into the crook of his neck. He kisses the top of my head.

"Will you please keep the ring." He whispers. "You don't have to wear it." He runs his hands over the locket chain he gave me. "You could just put it with the locket. It just won't go on your finger until it is official." He kisses my cheek and smiles.

"Okay." I say. "I will want you to ask me again so when you do, you will have to do without." I say and he smiles.

"I think I can manage and I will be waiting patiently." He smiles.

"I know you will." I kiss him. "I know you will."

* * *

It's been a few months since I declined Finnick's marriage proposal and thankfully everything seems normal. I was afraid that it would be weird but I'm glad none of that was true.

"Finnick!" I shout as the television turns on. I wonder what it is. I hope it's not another terrible message from the Capitol. I don't know what else they would do to District 4.

I hear Finnick hurry downstairs.

"What?" He says and sits next to me.

"The television turned on." I say.

He swallows hard.

"This must be it then." He says. He kisses my forehead and wraps his arm around me and rubs my shoulder.

"What is it?" I ask confused.

"The reading of the card for the Quarter Quell. We're about to find out what it will be."


	148. Chapter 148

**A/N: Hello and thank you for reading this far! This is the chapter where the quell card gets read. For this chapter I did the POV of a lot of the victors. Some are for the whole day and some are just for the card reading. They are in District order except Finnick and Annie theirs are at the end and I'm pretty sure they are the longest. I put Finnick and Annie at the end in case you wanted to skip the others. I didn't do Katniss because Suzanne Collins already did a wonderful job. I hope you don't mind I just thought it would be interesting. I also had fun with this!**

**District order**

**District 1 : Gloss**

**District 4: Mags.**

**District 7: Johanna**

**District 9: Blake and Talia.**

**Finnick and Annie**

**Chapter 148**

* * *

**District One**

**GLOSS POV**

"Wake up." I hear and then feel a bounce on the bed.I grab her waist and pull her towards me.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

"I got bored of waiting for you to get up." She smiles.

I shift my head to the clock

"It's only eight thirty Amethyst." I tell her slightly annoyed.

"Exactly I got tired of waiting." She smiles and kisses me softly.

"Not all of us like to wake up early you know."

She straddles me and then kisses me.

"Not even with a wake up call like that miss." I say and playfully push her off of me.

"I'm better than sleep." She says

"Whatever you need to tell yourself." I say and roll over.

She scoffs and touches my shoulder and I turn back over.

"Don't you have things you need to do today?"

"Like what."

She bites her lip then her eyes flicker to the side.

"What is it Amethyst?" I say and push myself up on my elbows.

"You're supposed to talk to Cashmere today." She says gently knowing how much I detest her.

"Ugh. You want me to get up by reminding me I have to talk with Satan-"

"Your sister." She says and runs her fingers through my hair.

"Satan, Cashmere same thing." I mutter.

"Maybe, but you should get up I made breakfast." She smiles.

"You always do when you break into my house." I tease.

"Is it really breaking in if you don't lock the door?" I don't lock my door because I don't see the point. It's not just because I'm a victor but, I've never seen the point, people don't steal things here and if they do it is very rare. We all have everything we could ever want.

"Yes." I say.

"Well I'm sure lots of people would love to wake up to someone who broke into their house just to make them breakfast."

I sit up and she runs her fingers through my hair.

"Come on you're burning daylight by snoring away."

I sigh

"Come on it's not so bad grumpy."

"I guess not." I lean in and kiss her. I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. I carry her downstairs. I can hear her laughing. I get downstairs and place her in front of me so she is inches from my face. She kisses me.

"What was that?" She says and pushes my chest.

"Early morning workout." I tease.

She shakes her head.

"You like it when I'm here in the morning."

I open my mouth to object.

"Don't even try to deny it." She says and skips to the kitchen.

She is right I do like it when she is here in the morning. I have been with Amethyst for years but, I have never asked her to live with me but that didn't stop her from making a key and dropping by whenever she pleases. I don't mind, I love her but I get a feeling something bad would happen if she lived here.

I head to the coffee pot and pour some. I take a sip it is bitter but i don't care enough to put in sugar, too much energy.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Amethyst says eagerly.

"Of course my love." I say and smirk.

"Don't you sass me Gloss." She smirks.

I sit down and eat one of the pastries.

"It tastes good right ?" She asks with a smile

"Hunting for a complement is very unattractive." I say.

"Well it's a good thing I already got you." She smiles and kisses my cheek.

"It is good though." I say and push a strand of her brown hair out of her face. She smiles at me which makes her dark blue eyes gleam. They are so dark they are violet looking which is why her parents named her Amethyst.

She leans against me and I wrap my arm around her.

"I love you." She says

"Why do love you me again?"

"Because you're my polar opposite. You're the hard candy shell and I'm the sweet candy coated center." She smiles.

"You always use food analogies." I smile.

"They are the easiest to understand."

I roll my eyes and kiss her forehead.

"Love you too." I say

"So why does your sister want to see you today."

"Don't know. I'm assuming it has to do with that Quarter Quell."

"Ah yes people have been betting all week on what it will be. You should hear some of the ideas ."

"Like what?"

"One is that the age will be altered to eight and up until twenty. One is they will only use family members against each other. One is that it will only last a week and if more then one is alive they all kill random people. One is that-"

"I get the gist."I say unamused. I think I am one of the few people in District One that doesn't like the Hunger Games even though I'm a victor which is pretty much god status here.

"Was I talking about it too much?" She asks.

"No." I say.

Amethyst doesn't like the games but she usually has a favorite to win. I can understand that because every year I see a tribute who I hope will make it back and they usually aren't from One or Two.

"Well are you just at the mercy of her to come by?"

"She doesn't deserve that pleasure besides, she would just barge in here anyways."

She nods.

"If your sister was about to die you would save her."

"Doubtful." I scoff but deep down I know I would. I'm not like her.

"Bad liar." She smiles.

I roll my eyes

"Better than you." I say and pinch her sides. She giggles. "Now I hate to eat and run but I told Cashmere I would see her in a few hours."

"You're not running if it's your house." She smiles.

"Well it's a nicer way of telling you to leave." I say. She does a puppy dog look. "That's not going to work miss. I need to prepare myself for seeing my sister."

"Such the dramatic." She teases.

"Easy for you to say, you're an only child."

She rolls her eyes.

"Okay fine." She pouts and kisses me."I will drop by soon to make sure she hasn't killed you."

"Not funny." I say and kiss her.

"I know I'm leaving." She kisses my cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too." I say and kiss her.

* * *

I knock on Cashmere's front door and she opens it in a second.

"Finally." She says and pulls me inside.

"What did you want?" I grumble.

"To see my brother of course." She smiles.

"Let's just get this over with."

She sighs and sits down.

"Listen that Quell reading is today and I want everything to be perfect."

"Okay."

"Listen you aren't stupid you know about what is going on in the other District's and I'm sure you talked to the other darling victors about that plan."

I roll my eyes.

"Katniss made everything worse and since Snow can't just kill her he needs a reason too and what better reason is this Quell and if something like that happens our names will get called."

"Cashmere that won't happen everyone loves us too much."

"Yes but they would also love to see us kill and everyone loves a brother sister gimmick."

"You're wrong." I say.

She rolls her eyes

"Well I might be, but if I'm not, the first plan once we get in there is to kill Katniss Everdeen stop the ripple effect and keep Panem the way it should be."

"You're blind if this is the way you think it should be." I say.

"I guess so." She laughs.

"You are so self obsessed you can't even see all the damaged you have caused and not just to me to otheres as well."

She snorts.

"Like who? You mean the other victors "

"That is just the tip of the iceberg."

She rolls her eyes.

"Oh come they don't matter they're broken anyway it's fun to-"

"They aren't toys Cashmere they are people with feelings and you making them have emotional breakdowns isn't funny. I know you and your friends think it is but, it's not."

"Well just because you didn't volunteer doesn't mean that you are better than us."

"Yes it does you don't feel it." I say.

"Feel what?" She smirks.

"The guilt. The flashbacks. The nightmares. The suicidal thoughts. You don't feel it Cashmere because you liked it and so do all of them."

"Well I'm sorry for not having a conscious but this is what we are born to do. We are made to fight and if we die it was a great sacrifice."

"Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth." I ask stunned.

"With the other victors you are in the majority but here in One you are in the minority. You're the strange one not us."

"That's probably true and you wonder why I don't like you." I say and walk back to my house and slam the front door.

"What's wrong." Amethyst says.

"Jesus you scared me." I say and hug her.

"You talk to her." She says an it isn't a question.

"Unfortunately."

"Well you're still alive." She smiles.

"There is that." I say.

* * *

The television turns on to finally show the announcement of the Quarter Quell.

"This year is the 75th Annual Hunger Games and this year it is was determined every twenty five years would be a Quarter Quell. One the 25th anniversary the tributes were voted in. On the 50th anniversary there were twice as many tributes to represent every Capitol child that died from the hands of the rebels. Let's see what this year holds." President Snow says.

He gets given a box with multiple cards for hundreds of years. He finds the 75th card and breaks the seal and clears his throat and Blake and I both lean in.

"On the 75 anniversary as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

Looks like Cashmere was right. I wonder how she knew. It doesn't matter. I unlike her won't go after Katniss Everdeen first but I won't die for her either.

* * *

**District Four **

**Mags POV **

The television turns on and I look up from my needlework. I look at the screen and see Caesar Flickermen, they are about to show the card reading for the Quarter Quell. This will be my second time mentoring a Quell. It doesn't matter if it is a Quell or not, I still see those innocent faces going to face their death. I'm just happy I could save three out of the many I have mentored.

Luna I knew had a fighting chance because she volunteered and had the personality of a ruthless killer. She is different from when she was seventeen she's seen too many of those innocent faces never coming back home.

I'm still surprised Finnick made it back. He was only fourteen and scared beyond words. I knew he was the son of a fisherman but I never thought he would kill anyone. I'm still surprised that he is very nice and kind still. I thought the arena would have stolen that from him. The fact that he killed didn't matter because the citizens loved him for his looks. They still do. Humans can be despicable and disgusting creatures.

Then there is sweet Annie, I never expected her to come back but, somehow Finnick knew she would. I think it was a mixture of pity and affection he felt for her. For the first time since he mentored he had a tribute who he would truly miss if they didn't come back. You never forget their names and faces which is why Annie doesn't want to look at the tributes. I know she will never forget Maddy from the 71st Hunger Games.

These are my tributes, my victors. Finnick is the closest thing I have to a son. He lived here after his parents died and did until he was eighteen. He still visits me every day well until that new rule. I hope he is okay. I hope they all are.

I look back to the screen and see our lovely President.

"This year is the 75th Annual Hunger Games and this year it is was determined every twenty five years would be a Quarter Quell. One the 25th anniversary the tributes were voted in. On the 50th anniversary there were twice as many tributes to represent every Capitol child that died from the hands of the rebels. Let's see what this year holds." President Snow says.

He gets given a box with multiple cards for hundreds of years. He finds the 75th card and breaks the seal and clears his throat and Blake and I both lean in.

"On the 75 anniversary as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

Finnick. I think. You're going back in there. I just wonder who will be going with you.

* * *

**District Seven**

**Johanna POV **

I hear the blaring of the phone. I roll off the bed to answer it.

"What?" I grumble.

"Someone is very chipper today." I hear that smug bastard say on the other line. Why does Finnick have to call today of all days.

"Listen you smug idiot it's still early you should know better." I say.

"It's twelve thirty Johanna." He laughs.

"Like I said it's early." I say smiling. "Why are you calling me anyways? Don't you have to take care of your precious Annie." I say and can hear Finnick sigh. I didn't mean it the way he is going to take it. Finnick is my friend but he knows I like him more than that. I would never do anything with him because Annie is love of his life for some reason. Like everyone else, I don't see it. Why someone like Finnick muscular, pretty, and a one of a kind personally loves Annie. I understand why he can like her. She is so nice and sweet to everyone almost. Almost. But she doesn't seem to have anything special about her. Maybe I just don't see it because I like Finnick. Or maybe there is nothing there. Finnick said his relationship started because he felt sorry for Annie after her games. Which makes sense, anyone with a heart would feel sorry for that poor girl.

"Today is that Quell card reading. I wanted to see how you were dealing with it." He pauses. "And stop talking about Annie like that." He adds. He doesn't sound angry like he does sometimes. I know Annie doesn't know all the things people say about her but truth be told neither does Finnick. I may throw around the crazy Cresta nickname once in awhile, but I'm not cruel to the poor girl after all that could've happened to any of us.

"Well I'm fine and I have been and I know today is the card reading. I'm mostly curious about what this thing will be. And about Annie-

"Johanna." He says in a warning tone.

"Look I'm sorry if I offend you I just won't talk about her to you anymore because it only makes you upset."

"Thank you." He says being somewhat sarcastic.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like when people talk about her."

"It just depends on what they are saying."

"Listen, what they say to you is nice. You should hear what they say when you aren't around. It is much worse than crazy Cresta." I say with compassion.

"Well thanks for that. So are you nervous for this card reading?" He asks probably trying to change the subject.

I scoff.

"No, it will still be stupid no matter what it is and as long as I'm not in the arena I don't really care what they do. It is the same anyways people kill people until only… _one_ remains." I say emphasizingy one because of Peeta and Katniss

"I see." He says.

"I have been rather annoyed lately because I can no longer go into the woods and cut down trees. I almost want to go through town cutting the heads off of peacekeepers but that is a big no no." I say. I'm hoping he will realize I'm trying to tell him that the woods have been cut off due to uprisings. "Yeah… now I chop my porch. I got yelled at, but I figure it is my house I should be able to burn it to the groundoctor if I wanted to." I say.

"I agree with you there. I have to go Johanna." He says abrubtly Annie must need him.

"Well this small chat was nice. Go back to your day. I'll see you in a few months, ready to train the tributes."

"Yeah see you then." He says and hangs up the phone.

I sigh.

I wonder what is going on in Four. I wonder if they are alright, all of them.

* * *

"This year is the 75th Annual Hunger Games and this year it is was determined every twenty five years would be a Quarter Quell. One the 25th anniversary the tributes were voted in. On the 50th anniversary there were twice as many tributes to represent every Capitol child that died from the hands of the rebels. Let's see what this year holds." President Snow says.

He gets given a box with multiple cards for hundreds of years. He finds the 75th card and breaks the seal and clears his throat and Blake and I both lean in.

"On the 75 anniversary as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

I throw a nearby vase at the television. It cracks the screen and I know I will get a lecture because of it.

"Bastard!" I shout.

I am the only living female victor so I know I will be seeing that arena.

"This isn't Snow fault though." I mutter and throw something else. I open my backdoor and grab my axe. I take a swing at the porch. "It's that girl on fires fault." I swing and hit the porch multiple times making sure not to hit the same spot twice.

I throw the axe to the yard.

I sigh.

"I'll still save that bitch because she needs to be alive for anything to work," I say and retrieve my axe. I pick it up and throw it at a tree and of course it sticks. Despite me knowing I will save that girl I still pictured her face as I thew it.

* * *

**District Nine**

**BLAKE POV**

I wake up and roll over. I don't want to get up because I'll still tired. I stayed up most of the night. Nightmares kept me up.

I sit up and rub my eyes.

"Mmmh." I strech. I grab the picture on my bedside table like I do every morning.

"Where are you?" I whisper and rub the glass hoping she will be next to me. I set the frame down and get ready I'm brushing my teeth when I hear the phone ring.

"Hello?" I say with toothpaste spit in my mouth.

"Blake are you okay?" I hear my sister ask.

"I'm fine Sarah why?"

"You were supposed to be here thirty minutes ago, you said you would come by for breakfast."

"Oh right." I spit and move my hand to my temples. "I forgot." I say and move my hand to the back of my head. I can still feel the dent. I'm just surprised that metal bat didn't kill me. Although my memory is still iffy that will probably never change.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine honest. I'll be there soon."

"Blake-" I say and hang up. I could've just forgotten like a normal person but I know that isn't the case. I didn't remember I lived in Victors Village when I first moved here. The hair color changing reminds me it's a new year. I wish I could remember.

I head downstairs and grab my jacket and head outside. I see Talia in her from porch braiding Charlotte's hair. I smile and Charlotte waves enthusiastically.

I walk into my sisters house.

"Blake." She says and hugs me.

"Sarah." I say and let go of her. She is barely shorter than I am. She has my same hair color... well natural hair color. Dirty blonde and dark brown eyes.

"You're alright."

"I'm alright." I say and slide off my jacket.

"Good now breakfast might be a little cold because-"

"It's alright you're not the best cook anyways."

"Blake." She says and shoves me.

We walk into the kitchen and I see lots of bread that's the perks of being from the grain District there are some eggs as well.

"Sit down." She motions towards the table. I do she didn't have to tell me. We start eating and breakfast wasn't that cold.

"Where's Brian?" I ask wondering where her husband is.

"Work." She says and avoids my gaze. She knows I don't like that because I give them money. He is still too proud so he works in one of the not so safe jobs.

"I see." I say instead.

She nods.

"So you going to see Talia later?" Sarah asks.

"I don't know why?" I ask I usually see her everyday so I find it odd that she us asking.

"For the card reading for the lovely Quarter Quell." She smiles with disgust.

I scrunch my eyebrows together.

"Did you forget about that too?" She says gently.

"I don't remember being told." I say.

She smiles.

"You told me didn't you?" I say but already know the answer.

"Yes." She clears her throat "but you don't like this stuff that is probably why." She says and rubs my forearm.

"That's why I came here for breakfast... you wanted to make sure I was alright."

"Yes." She nods.

I nod

"I probably will see her then." I say.

"That's good." She smiles and reaches for the jam.

"You're still alright with taking Charlotte when Talia isn't here right?" I ask

She nods.

"Of course, why do you ask?"

"Last year with everything Talia was going through you and Brian seemed… overwhelmed."

"Well that was because Brian didn't understand why you couldn't take Charlotte." She says gently.

"I had to take care of Talia you know that Sarah. Even when I was with her...she was not doing that great."

"I know, I know he just didn't understand. I think it's because he hasn't spent as much time with a victor as I had. We can take care of her fine Blake."

"Okay because-"

"Stop this is what family does."

"Talia isn't your family." I say confused.

"She's as good as, you love her like you love me."

"That's true." I say.

"Besides, Charlotte is the closest thing you will ever have for a kid."

"Sarah I don't want to have a kid." I say truthfully.

"That's what you say but I know you Blake."

"Sarah." I warn.

"I'm not trying to be mean, but that's why you sleep with every woman from District Nine and in the Capitol to forget those memories."

"So what I'm not hurting anyone." I say annoyed.

"Just yourself." She whispers.

I don't know how to respond and it's silent.

"Or is it a different reason?" She asks.

"What do you mean?" I say confused.

"Well do you think it could be what happened to Katie?"

"Sarah I thought we agreed you would never talk about her again."

"You were in love with her and then-"

"Then she dissapeared." I say.

"Blake."

"Just-"

"I knew Katie my whole life too Blake."

"Yeah, well you're not the reason she dissappeared or more likely died."

"Not your fault."

"Yes it is."

She looks at me strangely she figured it out, she always did know but it's different when the answer is staring her in the face.

Katie was Sarah's best friend. She was always around and as she grew up I fell in love with her. She is the only girl I have loved and she will be until I die.

When Snow started talking about his deal I said yes hesitantly but didn't exactly follow orders so he did something to her. He implied he didnt kill her... I just need to find her. Since she has... dissapeared I have been trying to find a way to fill the hole in my heart ever since. Snow doesn't have to threaten me because he knows I will keep doing whatever he wants.

"You're never going to forget those memories Blake they're a part of you no matter what you do. Personally I'm glad you chose this over some drug."

"So you're saying that's my drug, having sex." I smile.

"Yes, you do it in the Capitol and at home. I wouldn't say you're addicted but it's like your drug. It makes you forget about the Hunger Games, mentoring, and killing. Personally I don't care you gotta do what you gotta do and I can't judge because I don't know what it's like." She smiles.

"You're right you don't. Speaking of District Nine I was going to head into town today."

"Alright." She says.

I walk over and kiss her forehead.

"Bleck." She says.

I roll my eyes.

"Love you." Sarah says and rolls her eyes.

"Wish I could say the same." I tease.

"You ass." She smiles.

"Love you too Sarah." I say and leave the house. I can hear her laughing as I walk out of her door.

I head to the main square and pass all of peacekeepers along the way. I have noticed ever since the 74th Hunger Games the peacekeepers seem more cautious and threatening when I walk into town as if I'm trying to do something. I think it has to do with two victors this year. I think it has to do with Katniss Everdeen. I know factory number 3 was shut down the other day. The story is that they refused to do the farm work and peacekeepers were going crazy but citizens were fighting back. There has been a food shortage here for a while. Which means the prices are going up and the majority can't buy food. District Nine has had rough times but I don't remember it being like this ever. Especially people fighting against peacekeepers. Ever since Katniss came on the victory tour there has been a strange vibe in the air and I can't figure out what it is.

I'm almost in town and can see the wheat fields as far as the eye can see but I can also see some of the factories that I have no idea what they are used for. There are rumors but no one actually knows.

I can hear someone getting whipped as I walk into town. They must be harvesting too slow. I should be more shocked but this happens every day. Besides it happens so often you no longer hear the people scream just the sound of the whip hitting flesh.

"Blake!" I hear Tiffany yell who is known to do whatever to get money. She usually sells herself for sex. I have never purchased her I just give her money.

"Can you spare an hour." She smiles.

"Not today Tiffinay." I say.

"That's what you always say." She pouts.

I dig into my pocket.

"Consider this my apology." I say and hand her small bags of coins each has twenty dollars in them. Which can last probably two months if she is careful.

"You know how to treat a girl nice." She winks and walks off.

I roll my eyes.

I see a peacekeeper coming this way though.

"Mr. Shelard do you have the papers to give money?"

"No." I say. You can't just give money here you have to have proper transaction documents. Usually the peacekeepers don't care but ever since the Victory Tour they have been punishing for every small law that people never really cared about.

"And what do you think the proper punishment should be for giving money without the right transaction approval."

"Pay it back to the government, get flogged to make a point. You peacekeepers should start getting creative."

The peacekeeper looks mad but as long as he doesn't hurt Tiffinay I don't care what he does to me.

"I'll let it slide because of what is happening today."

"What's happening today?" I ask confused.

"As a victor you should know." He looks me up and down. "President Snow is reading this years Quarter Quell card. I suggest you tune in after all_ you_ will be going." He smiles. I get a weird chill when he says this. It's almost as if he is trying to tell me something else. Why would he emphasize you?

* * *

I leave Taila's house and the words keep ringing in my head. _On the 75 anniversary as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors_.

Talia and I are the only living Victors. Talia's face was so sad. I can't imagine knowing I'm going to die and leave behind my daughter but... in a way I am.

I have been wondering around for probably an hour. I am somehow in town. I see I'm in front of one of the many bars that is another benefit of being in the grain District. I walk inside and start drinking A few drinks later I see Tiffinay sitting next to me.

"Are you blowing all that money I gave you in boozes?" I ask.

"No I like meeting people here." She smiles.

I look at her.

"I'm sure you do." I smile.

"I'm sure you do too. I know you take pretty girls back home."

"I do." I look her up and down. "It's for a distraction... usually." I say.

"You can use me as a distraction." She smiles and gets close to me her lips are almost touching mine. "For free." She says and kisses me she tastes free of alcohol. She was telling the truth then. I want to say no but, I want a distraction as well.

"Let's go." I say.

* * *

Tiffany lays next to me and picks up the picture on my nightstand

"This your girlfriend?" She asks out of breath.

"No. I wouldn't cheat." I say.

She shrugs

"Must be pretty important if she is on your nightside table."

I nod.

"She's pretty too." She looks up at me. "What's her name?" She asks.

"Katie." I say and she nods.

* * *

**TALIA POV.**

"This is it the Quarter Quell right?" I ask Blake

Blake nods I can tell he is nervous.

"You okay?" I ask.

He nods.

"Just been forgetting a lot recently." He says.

"That's okay. People forget things all the time."

"Not like me"

"You're not that special Blake Shelard."

He rolls his eyes and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"I guess." He says.

"Mommy." I hear Charlotte say from the top of the stairs. She sounds afarid. It is raining and she hates the rain I think it is because when Neil died it was raining.

I get up off the couch and walk to her. She starts coming down the stairs and I meet her in the middle. "What is it baby?" I ask

"I'm scared." She whispers.

A loud clap of thunder sounds and she hugs me and starts crying. She grips me tightly and buries her face in my chest.

"Mommy I want it to go away." She says. I hate seeing her like this. I think every mother does.

"Shhh shhhh." I kiss her forehead. "You're okay Charlotte. You're okay."

"I'm scared." She whispers.

"Why are you scared baby?" I ask.

"I don't want it to hurt me." She sobs out.

"What don't you want to hurt you?"

"The loud bang, the lights, the rumbles." She whimpers out.

"It won't hurt you sweet pea." I kiss her.

"Didn't it hurt Daddy." All Charlotte knows is that Neil died while it was storming and that's the truth but that is all she needs to know.

"No sweetie it didn't hurt Daddy."

"Then why didn't he come back from the thunderstorm?"

"He wasn't meant too." I say.

"I wish he came back. I miss Daddy."

"I know you do baby." I kiss her. "I miss Daddy too."

She hugs me tighter and looks at me with her chin trembling.

A loud clap of thunder sighs and she yelps out and buries her face in my chest and cries

"Shhh It's okay Charlotte it won't last forever." I say and rub her back and kiss her forehead.. "It's just for a little while." I say and pull her up. I walk us towards the couch so she can sit on my lap. She leans into me and grips my shirt and sniffles.

"Promise." She says

"Promise." I kiss her forehead and the rain starts to blow harder and she yelps. "Shh it's okay sweetie." I say and rub her back. "You're alright here with me. I won't let anything hurt you."

"Are you sure." She whispers.

"Yes." I kiss her.

Another loud clap of thunder sounds and her body tenses and I can feel te tears come out of her eyes.

"Shhhh." I say and rub her back "You're alright. Nothing will hurt you here."

"Don't worry Charlotte I can protect you." Blake says

"You yelp when you see spiders." Charlotte smiles.

"That's because they're scary." Blake smiles.

"No they're not." She looks up and smiles.

"Yes they are." Blake says and ruffles her hair. She leans into my chest and hugs me tightly. She is whimpering and sniffling but she isn't crying.

"I love you Mommy."

"I love you too angle." I kiss her. I rock her back and forth. After an hour the rain starts to let up.

"The rain will stop soon sweetie." I kiss her forehead.

"You sure?" She whispers. She sounds sleepy she will probably zonk out soon.

"Yes." I kiss her and stroke her hair.

I keep rocking her back and forth and after the rain stops she falls asleep in my arms.

"How much longer do you think we have to wait?" I ask.

Blake shrugs.

"Maybe an hour. I thought they would've done it in the day time."

"I like this better." I look at Charlotte. "I don't like her to know about these things too much."

"She understands what happens when you leave." Blake says.

"She knows and about the Hunger Games but there are some things I want to protect her from."

Blake nods.

"You can't protect her forever Talia."

"I know but I want her to be innocent as long as possible. I want to protect her."

"Well you're doing a good job."

"Last year was tough on her because of me."

"You still saw her Talia, every day."

"I couldn't talk to her it was like my body shut off."

"You were there for her Talia and she was fine with myself and my sister."

"I know what she said. She kept asking what's wrong with Mommy. I'm a bad mother."

"Talia no you're not. You're a good mother better than most and you're there for her."

"Not all the time."

"Yes you are Talia and she was always happiest when you came to see her."

"That makes me feel worse Blake it's because I couldn't take care of her."

"You did the right thing asking for help and knowing you couldn't take care of her. You're there for her and a bad parent wouldn't be thinking the things you are."

"I guess."

"Well I know." Blake smiles and kisses my forehead.

"Thank you."

"People can always see their flaws but never the wonderful things about them." He says.

"You're a good person." I say.

"I know." He says.

I roll my eyes and push Charlotte's hair out of her face.

"She looks just like him, Neil." He says.

"I know. I love seeing him in her. At first it was hard to see so much of him in her but it's nice now."

"Gives you something to hold onto."

"Yeah. You need someone to hold onto." I say.

"Talia." He warns.

"I know what you think when you see me." I say.

"Why do you mean?" He asks confused.

"You think that would happen to you." I say thinking of Snow killing Neil

"It isn't that unreasonable to assume." He says.

"You're afraid of love." I sau. We have had this discussion before and it is always the same.

"No Im afraid of what will happen to the people I love."

I shrug.

"Sometimes you have to forget all that crap because it's more important when you want to make the jump."

"Well I don't think I can I'm a realist." He smiles and I roll my eyes.

"One day you will meet one."

"Doubtful." He scoffs.

Charlotte stirs a little.

"Do you want me to take her upstairs?" He asks.

"I'm okay." I say and smooth her hair. "I like her like this." I look up at him and smile.

"What do you think it's going to be?" He asks referring to the Quarter Quell.

"Nothing good the last two haven't been that great." I say.

"I think they get worse as it went on." He says. "I don't know I would feel terrible voting someone into something like that." He says.

"Yes but forty seven people dead instead of twenty three is also bad." I say.

"It's going to be bad Talia it always is." He says.

"This time it will be worse." I say because I will be mentoring, we will be mentoring.

"Well we will do what we also do for the tributes be there." He says.

I nod.

I look down at Charlotte and admire how much she looks like her father. The only physical feature she got from me is the green eyes. I stroke her wavy chestnut hair for a while and Blake just watches me.

The television flickers on.

"This year is the 75th Annual Hunger Games and this year it is was determined every twenty five years would be a Quarter Quell. One the 25th anniversary the tributes were voted in. On the 50th anniversary there were twice as many tributes to represent every Capitol child that died from the hands of the rebels. Let's see what this year holds." President Snow says.

He gets given a box with multiple cards for hundreds of years. He finds the 75th card and breaks the seal and clears his throat and Blake and I both lean in.

"On the 75 anniversary as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

The people in the Capitol look confused and for a second I am but then I realize what he is saying. My mind goes blank for a minute but I come back to realility when I hear Balke speaking

"It's alright Talia we-"

I put my hand up.

"I'm going to take her upstairs then we can talk." I whisper

He nods.

I pick her up and take her upstairs. I tuck her in bed and kiss her forehead.

"Good night pretty girl." I whisper.

"Mommy why are you crying?" I hear her ask groggy. I must have woken her up from carrying her upstairs. I didn't realize I was crying. I guess my eyes were too full to hold anymore water.

"I'm not sweetie. Okay?" I say and pat her head.

"You have tears on your face what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." I kiss her and she hugs me.

"I love you." She whispers.

I stroke her hair.

"I love you too."

"More than all the stars and the moon?" She asks

"More than anything." I kiss her and tuck her in again.

"Goodnight angel." I say.

"Goodnight mommy." She says and I shut the door and head downstairs.

"You understand don't you?" Blake asks.

"Of course I do we're going back in there because we are the only living victors here and we are going to die."

"Talia we might not-"

"Yes we will Blake this is probably Snows way to kill Katniss but we both know that girl can't die. She has to win meaning we have to die." I say and Blake hugs me and I start crying

"It will be alright."

"What am I supposed to tell Charlotte?" I whimper.

"She will understand when she sees you on the television." He says sadly .

"I can't tell her I will die and I don't want her to see that."

"I'll make sure Sarah knows but she will wonder why you didn't come back."

I hold onto him tighter.

"This is all kinds of messed up." I whisper.

"Many must die to make a difference." He says and strokes my hair.

I know Blake is right, to make a difference many must die. In this scenario many have already died.

"I just hope it won't be for nothing." I whisper and he kisses the top of my head.

* * *

**FINNICK POV**

I wake up and see Annie still sleeping. She has a pillow pushed to her chest for some reason. Maybe she was scared in the middle of the night and didn't want to wake me. I hate when she does that. She should know I will find out because it is obvious just from the look on her face. I know why she does it, it's because she feels bad for waking me which is stupid. It's not like I have anywhere important to go.

There is also something different in her eyes. Although there is something different in her eyes daily when she sees something or zones out. I still don't think she realizes she zones out. It usually only happens ten minutes at the most. I'm not going to tell her this because it would probably scare her or she will call herself crazy or ask why I love her and if I think she is crazy. She should know the answer to that question by now. I don't like when she asks that. It probably has something to with the fact that she isn't the only person who does.

When she asks that question it is the only time I think she is crazy.

I didn't love Annie right away. At first I just stayed with her and saw her because I felt sorry for her. I could hear her screaming when I was outside my house. I don't think Mags or Luna did because there houses are further apart. Besides, Annie liked me the best out of the mentors and I did tell her she was stuck with me for life but, I didn't really mean it the way she took it.

I did only see her a few minutes a day but that seemed to make her feel better. When I became her friend though it was easier to see her and get through to her. I bet most people would've given up on her but, not me. I know there is nothing truly wrong with her. Sometimes she just goes off in her own world and it isn't always a nice one.

I stroke her hair causing her to stir so I back off. I don't want to wake her because sleep between either of is almost a blessing.

I sigh and look at her relaxed muscles and that almost smile on her face as the soft pillow is smushed against her cheek.

I sigh.

She's so beautiful. I wish she could realize this. I wish she could see why I do when I look at her. I wish I could see what she does when she looks at me. She always says I'm not as attractive as everyone thinks and I know she isn't BSing me. Maybe she just has better depth perception.

I still feel guilty about not talking to her for a while after she tried to kiss me that day on the dock. Admittedly I did want to kiss her which I had never really wanted to do before, or at least not in my _adult _life. I just had this radiating feeling from my stomach to my heart and I liked that feeling.

I'm somewhat glad Lana came and interrupted because I could tell Annie already liked me more than I did her. I just wanted to kiss her and run my fingers threw that soft hair. She wanted me the real me, she wanted to know everything about me. Which no one else wanted before. That fact alone made me fall in love with her. Annie is one of the few people who knows everything about me. I think she might be the only person I tell literally everything to her... well except one thing.

I don't tell her the plans of a revolution that have been brewing for the past few year but Annie isn't stupid. Sometimes I feel like I should tell her but then I remember secrets aren't cheap they come at a price. The price to pay if someone found out she knew plans for a revolution would be steep.

However even though I don't tell her anything she isn't stupid. She knows people here are doing something and she saw what happened on the Victory Tour.

The only question I have is when and how are we going to manipulate or tell Katniss about this without her going… as Haymitch says unreasonable.

I sigh not wanting to think about it or anything else really. I know the card reading for the Quell is today. I have a feeling it will be something bad. Then again it always is. Every year is bad.

It's also hard to believe that almost ten years ago I was called in to play those barbaric _games_. Who am I kidding all the victors are still playing games. We are all still playing Snow's game.

"Mmmh." I hear Annie mutter.

I turn to her to see if I can tell if she is having a nightmare. It's easy when you see the expression on her face she can do it with me too.

She looks relaxed still, she is probably going to wake up soon. She rolls over pillow still in hand I think she is awake but I see her eyes are still closed.

In twenty minutes I see her jolt and open her eyes. She opens them slowly so I know it wasn't a nightmare.

"Finnick." She says still sleepy.

"Yes." I say and run my thumb across her cheek bones.

"You're awake." She says smiling because I am almost never awake when she is in the morning. Unless it is from a nightmare.

"Yup." I say and kiss her cheek.

She smiles.

"I like that." She says and her grip on the pillow tightens.

"What's wrong?" I ask and stroke her hair.

"Nothing." She says.

"Okay." I say not fully believing her, but I'm not going to keep asking when I know she won't be telling.

She sits up and hugs me. I stoke her soft hair and she kisses my cheek.

"I love you." She says making it the first of the day. I keep a mental running tally because we say this multiple times throughout the day. Even when it is sarcastic I count it.

Even though it is said so much it doesn't get tired or loose it's meaning. It still matters and it is still like the first time I said those three words to her.

"I love you too." I say.

"That's nice." She says and leans her head in the crook of my neck.

"You're still tired." I say and it isn't a question.

"Maybe." She says with a sigh.

"You can go back to sleep."

"No it's already." She lifts her head and looks at the clock. "Eleven!" She shouts. She never sleeps in this late the latest I think has been ten thirty, but with all the screaming and waking up that happened last night I don't think it is unreasonable.

"You should've woken me up Finnick." She says and playfully pats my shoulder.

"Annie it's not like you have anything to do, you can go back to sleep if you want."

"No, unlike some people I don't want to sleep all day. I don't want to sleep my life away like _some_ people."

"Do any of these people live here?" I ask already know that she was talking about me.

"Maybe." She smiles.

"Here." I say and pull her out of bed and lead her to the kitchen.

"What did you do?" She asks.

"Nothing." I say and this time I mean it.

"Okay." She says mocking me.

"Annie. There is no 'Finnick gesture' "I use air quotes. "today."

She sighs.

"Okay." She says and we walk down hand downstairs.

"Ta da." I say and motion towards the kitchen there is nothing in there I just want to tease her.

"There's nothing there." She says and back away slightly.

"What's wrong?" I ask and turn towards her. I place a piece of stray hair behind her ear.

"Nothing is going to suprised me in there?" She says looking at our intertwined hands.

I kiss her forehead.

"Of course not Annie, I was just kidding. Besides, I'm not found of things jumping out either."

"Okay." She says and hugs me. "Sorry I should believe you."

"There's a first." I tease and head into the kitchen.

"You're such a tease." She smiles.

"Most people already know that." I smile.

She rolls her eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that." I say and jump on the counter.

"Finnick." She warns.

"Annie come on." I say.

"You're not supposed to sit on the counter."

"Why is it okay when you do it then?" I smile.

"Because I'm Annie and I make the rules." She smiles and stands between my legs.

"You could sit next to me." I pat the counter space. "Then it would be even." I smile.

She rolls her eyes but, reaches for my hands. I know it's not to pull her up here which would probably be possible.

"Finnick no." She says and smiles "You're tweety four you should know better by now."

"A) don't talk to me like a pet." I tease causing a smile to form on her lips. "B) stop using my age against me. And C) it's an Annie Cresta rule." I smile.

She shakes her head and let's go of my hands and to retrieve her breakfast.

"Move please." She says when she comes over here.

I smile.

"Finnick I need to get a spoon. So either jump down or move your big butt." She says annoyed

I roll my eyes.

"Finnick." She says and this time she is actually annoyed so I get down.

"Thank you." She says and takes her spoon to eat her cereal.

"You're welcome, my love." I say and kiss her.

She smiles that smile whenever I call her that. I know she likes it. She just would never say it or admit it to herself. The others ones I don't think she likes which is why it is fun to tease her with but, this one I can tell she likes.

"I love you." I say making it number two.

"I love you too even though you're an idiot." She smiles and eats her cereal.

She then heads to the shower. I hear it turn on. I have exactly ten minutes because that's all the water Annie can take being in at once. Swimming in the hunger games took water away from her and from what I've been told she loved swimming. She fears it now.

I head to the phone and dial a number.

"What?" I hear Johanna growl.

"Someone is very chipper today." I say.

"Listen you smug bastard." She says and I can tell she is smiling. Johanna seems tough but once you meet her you realize being like that is a defense mechanism. Once you know her better she isn't always like that. "It's still early you should know better."

"It's twelve thirty Johanna."

"Like I said it's early." I can tell she is smiling again. "Why are you calling me anyways? Don't you have to take care of your precious Annie." She says causing me to sigh.

"Today is the Quell card reading and I wanted to see how you were dealing with it." I pause. "And stop talking about Annie like that." I add.

"Well I'm fine and I have. I know what you mean I was just curious. I mean she does-"

"Johanna." I warn.

"Look I'm sorry if I offend you…I just won't talk about her to you anymore because it only makes you upset."

"Thank you." I say somewhat sarcastically. I know why she doesn't really like Annie it's because Johanna likes me. It was obvious since her Victory Tour. I know she likes me and she knows I know she likes me. She never does anything because she knows it won't matter. She knows I love Annie and that fact will never change.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like when people talk about her." She says

"It just depends on what they are saying." I say.

"Listen, what they say to you is nice. You should hear what they say when you aren't around. It is much worse than crazy Cresta." She says. She doesn't sound cynical she sounds sorry.

"Well thanks for that. So are you nervous for this card reading."

She scoffs.

"No, it will still be stupid no matter what it is and as long as I'm not in the arena I don't really care what they do. It is the same anyways, people kill people until only… _one _remains." She says.

"I see." I say.

"I have been rather annoyed lately because I can no longer go into the woods and cut down trees. I almost want to go through town cutting the heads off of peacekeepers but that is a big no no." She says. Which I'm surprised by she knows the line is tapped she shouldn't be talking about murdering peacekeepers. But since she isn't allowed in her woods at home that means they must have closed them off somehow or need some type of authorization.

Johanna isn't one for the rules but she isn't going to risk killing herself just to let out her anger.

"Yeah… now I chop my porch. I got yelled at but I figure it is my house I should be able to burn it down if I wanted to." She says

I hear the shower turn off.

"I agree with you there. I have to go Johanna." I say.

"Well this small chat was nice. Go back to your day. I'll see you in a few months, ready to train the tributes."

"Yeah see you then." I say and hang up the phone.

Annie comes downstairs in a few minutes hair braided to the side. I like when she braids her hair because I can see more of her face.

She walks over towards me.

"Someone smells nice and clean." I say and kiss her forehead.

"Thanks, I think?" She smiles.

I run my fingers across her braid and smile.

"I didn't do it for you." She smiles.

"I wasn't thinking that but now."

She playfully shoves me.

"Shut up." She smiles. "Not everything is about you Finnick Odair." She says.

"And here I thought it was, my whole life has been a lie." I say over dramatically.

She rolls her eyes.

"I'm surprised you can fit in the house with all that ego." She smiles.

I wrap my hands around her waist and pull her closer to me causing her to gasp.

I kiss her and love the feeling of her lips against mine. They feel so soft and as delicate as butterfly wings. I never want them to leave mine.

She stops kissing me and leans her head on my chest. Her hands are still wrapped around my back.

"Are you doing anything today?" She whispers.

"Not today, love. I'm all yours."

She looks up and smiles. She kisses me breifly.

"The whole day with Finnick Odair whatever will I do." She smiles.

"I'm sure you could figure something out." I say and she smiles.

She leans back into my chest and whispers.

"I love you." Making it number three of the day.

* * *

"Finnick!" I hear Annie shout downstairs.

I hurry down there worried that I will find.

"What's wrong?" I ask and sit next to her.

"The TV turned on." She says.

"This must be it." I say as she leans into me.

"What?" She asks confused.

"We're about to find out the twist for the Quarter Quell." I say.

"Oh." She whispers

"Don't worry it will be okay." I say and kiss the top of her head. I wrap my arm around her and rub her arm.

I see President Snow get handed an envelope he rips the envelope and clears his throat.

"On the 75 anniversary as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

As soon as the words leave Snow's lips Annie starts screaming. It takes me a few seconds to comprehend what he has said. Annie figured it out right away, obviously, but she is smarter than I am.

I soon realize what he meant and userstand why she is screaming because she is afraid we will be going back into the arena.

I shouldn't be surprised Snow is doing this. He wants Katniss dead and this will make it less suspicious. Other people will want to talk about this, but they wouldn't be stupid enough to call on the phone knowing it is tapped. I'm pretty sure Annie doesn't know anything even though she has read some of the report files. If she read all of them she would probably understand but thankfully she didn't. I think if anything happened to her she would be in the clear.

Annie stands up and her hands start to throw things around the room most of them breakable. I don't really care most of them were here and they aren't very important to her anyways.

"Annie." I say walking towards her.

She just keeps throwing things no matter what I say it won't reach her. I've see Annie have fits before but not like this. She isn't just, scared she's angry. As most of the victors are, even from one and two. The deal is once you win your name is taken out of the reaping bowl, you get a house, money, and fame. You're not supposed to go back in the arena point blank period. Even though the victors from one and two volunteered they won't like this either because they already proved themselves. They aren't stupid they're going to know it is because of Katniss. They're going to go after her for sure except maybe Gloss.

Annie throws a vase and it ends up cutting her hand leaving a trail of blood.

"Annie." I say trying to get her to stop again but, she doesn't until she backs against a wall and slumps down. She puts her hands over her ears and starts whimpering like a dying animal.

I sit next to her and try to grab her hand so I can look at the cut but she keeps fighting me. She is getting blood on her face and it is rolling down arm. I try once again and then stop because I know it is no use, I know whatever I say or do won't help. She's stuck.

I know I'm going into the arena because I'm the only living male victor. I'm also thinking who else is automatically going in there. Beetee is the only living male from Three, Bleu and Jay are the only victors currently in five, Johanna will be going, Blake and Talia for Nine which is going to be hard on them and of course there's Katniss the reason why this is all going down because Snow wants her dead.

I smooth Annie's hair and kiss her forehead. I can taste some of her blood but don't care.

I know Annie is afraid she will be going back into the arena and she should be. Even though I will be going in there I won't be able to help her. Not all the way. I know if Annie goes back into an arena she will die. Not from someone else, but I think from herself. She's too fragile to deal with that and what it would do with her head. She couldn't handle it or wouldn't know how to so she would end it to stop her thoughts and fears and anything else that goes on inside her head. She would kill herself to get rid of everything. She can barely watch the games without crying or having a panic attack. If she went in there it would be a sucicide mission.

Even if she did go in there and she didn't kill herself right away the blood bath would get her for sure. She never really knew how to kill anyone and I don't think she would be able to again.

I know they would place me far away from her in the arena but, I know that won't matter if she would step off the platform before it started, just getting her to go in a tube would be impossible.

I don't want that to happen. She can't go in there. She can't die, not like that.

I kiss her forehead again.

"I love you." I whisper even though she is too upset to hear me.

* * *

**Annie POV**

The TV turns on.

"Finnick!" I yell. I hear him hurry downstairs

"This must be it." Finnick says

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"The reading for the Quarter Quell. We are about to find out what it will be."

"Oh" I say.

"Don't worry Annie, it will be fine." He says and kisses my forehead. Finnick holds my hand. They show President Snow and I can feel myself shaking.

"It's okay Annie." Finnick whispers and rubs my back. I lean into him and close my eyes so I don't have to see Snow.

"On this the anniversary of the 75th Hunger Games is a very special year signifying a Quarter Quell. When the Hunger Games became about it was decided that every twenty five years there would be a Quarter Quell to celebrate."

"Celebrate?" I mutter.

Finnick continues to rub my back.

I open my eyes and kiss his cheek and look at the screen.

President Snow is handed a box and takes our an envelope with a 75 on the front.

"You think it will be twice as many tributes again?" I ask.

"I doubt they would do something twice Annie." Finnick says.

"That would be terrible." I whisper.

"Well whatever it is Annie I'm sure we will be okay." He says and kisses me.

I nod and lean back into his shoulder.

President Snow rips the envelope and clears his throat.

"On the 75 anniversary as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

I let go of Finnick's hand and start screaming. I don't know if Finnick figured it out that quickly but I know I did.

"Annie shhhh it's going to be okay."

I'm breathing quickly and sobbing. Finnick is talking to me but it isn't registering with me. I'm crying too hard to hear him.

I stand up and walk around the house.

"No! No! No! No!" I shout and start to destroy everything that touches my hands.

"Annie." Finnck comes over to try and stop me but it doesn't matter.

I back against a wall and slump down against it. I put my hands over my ears and rock back and forth.

Male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors.

Female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors.

The existing pool of victors.

Finnick tries to grab my hand but it is pressed too hard to my head.

I cry out over and over again.

"No! No! Nooo!" I keep saying over and over again until my throat hurts.

I calmed down some but am still sobbing and rocking back and forth. Finnick gave up on talking to me because he knew he wouldn't be able to reach me.

I stop crying and my eyes hurt but I still rock back and forth with my hands over my ears. Finnick sits next to me and wraps his arm around me.

"It's okay Annie. Don't think of anything else. Just focus on my voice. Just think about me. Think about me." He says and I do. I look at him and slowly remove my hands from my ears and hug him.

"It's okay." He whispers.

"I love you." I say.

He kisses my forehead.

"I love you too, love."

If Finnick is calling me love he must be afraid or something. I don't like pet names much so he uses them rarely. Usually when he is drunk from sleep, he is really excited, trying to annoy me, or something is really bothering him. I think it is the latter in this situation.

I look around and see the mess I have made. Pretty much everything that was breakable has been broken.

Finnick tries to stand up but I'm gripping him too tightly.

"Honey, I just want to get a cloth to clean the blood off."

"Blood?" I croak out and am surprised by how hoarse my voice is.

He used another pet name this really got to him. I don't care at this point. Finnick could call me whatever he wanted even the dreaded baby. I wouldn't care as long as he is close to me.

He nods.

"You cut your hand on a piece of glass. You got some of the blood on your face too." He says.

"Okay." I say and my chin is trembling. I'm shaking slightly but I let Finnick go but don't take my eyes off of him. He touches my hand and I turn it over.

"Not that bad." He says. "I don't even think some of the glass is in it." He says and kisses me.

He patches me up and cleans the blood off then I lean against him.

"I broke everything." I whisper.

"Not everything besides those are just material objects anyway love. The important thing is that you're alright."

I think until the reaping he is going to call me love or sweetheart or honey. I don't care. I normally would but this time is different. Although baby would still be nails on a chalkboard but I wouldn't object. Not this time.

"No I'm not, you understood what he was saying Finnick, don't you?" I whisper

"Yes, I know what he meant. There is a chance that we will be going back into the arena."

"I don't know if you forgot how to count Finnick, but you're the only living male victor that means-"

"Annie shhh it's alright." He says and strokes my hair.

I start crying again.

"You're going to die." I sob.

Finnick's body stills when I say this.

"Don't worry about that now Annie." He whispers.

"I can't live without you Finnick. You make the pain go away." I sniffle.

"You will be just fine without me but I don't plan on going anywhere Annie. I'm going to stay with you so I can annoy you for the rest of your life." He places his hand on my cheek and turns my head to him. His eyes hold sadness. I can tell he is holding in tears too. He wipes some of the tears from my face.

"Okay?" He asks.

I don't answer just hug him and cry into his chest. Finnick strokes my hair.

I know Finnick is trying to pretend he is alright or try not to break down in front of me but, I can feel his tears falling into my hair.

* * *

"Let's go upstairs." Finnick whispers after a few hours. He starts wiping the tears from my face.

He takes me to our bedroom and he holds me. I know he is upset about this too, he is already a tribute for the 75th Hunger Games. I'm not going to bring it up. Not tonight when everything is so fresh.

Finnick rubs my shoulders all the way to my fingertips until our fingers are laced together.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says and kisses my forehead. "We'll be okay, you and me." I look at him and he smiles.

I start to kiss him and don't stop until neither of us have a stitch of clothing on.

Finnick moves his hand to my cheek and kisses the tip of my nose.

"I love you." He says and smiles.

"I love you too." I say and kiss him again.

I don't feel like Finnick will hurt me or take advantage of me anymore. Those nightmares are sometimes still there but I don't care right now. I want to be close to Finnick as close as possible.

* * *

I rest my head on his chest once everything is over. Finnick has his arms securely around me pushing me closer to him. My head is right where his heart is I can almost feel it beating against my cheek

"I love you Annie." He says and kisses my forehead. I look at him and smile and my lips find his.

"I love you too." I say and lean back on his chest. He breathes in and out deeply.

"You okay?" I whisper.

"Perfect." He says. "I just don't want time to move forward." He whispers.

"Don't worry about it now, let's just relax in the bubble for as long as possible." I whisper.

"Okay." He says and strokes my hair.

"Okay." I say. Despite this

I can feel a tear roll down my cheek and drip onto his chest.

"Shhhh." Finnick says. "What happened to the bubble." He says and I can tell he is smiling

"I'm sorry." I whisper and pull myself up. He moves his hand to my cheek and wipes the tear away. Causing both of us to smile.

Our lips meet one another again and we kiss and eventually I lean back on the pillow.

Finnick and I stay up all night. I think all the passion is trying to be a distraction from the truth neither of us wants to face.

"Finnick." I say out of breath. "I think-"

He kisses me again not wanting to talk about this. Wanting to avoid it for as long as possible. So instead of talking about it he keeps showing how much he loves me over and over again. Until I think he passes out or falls asleep. Probably from exhaustion. I think because he has been seeing clients since he was seventeen his body has adapted differently. I don't want to think about that it isn't important anyways.

I run my fingers through his hair which is damp from sweat both of our bodies are slick with it.

I kiss his forehead and can taste saltiness from the sweat.

"I love you." I whisper.

* * *

I wake up and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Finnick is already in the shower but I'm too lazy to head to another bathroom.

Even though Finnick and I just woke up it is six at night. We did stay up all night.

I wash my face and am about to leave but Finnick unexpectedly pulls me in there. It's not like I'm wearing lots of clothes I just have underwear on because I fell asleep with Finnick in my arms.

"Annie." He smiles and kisses me. I get lost in this kiss but then soon realize what he is doing or what I think he is doing.

"Stop." I say and he does. He lifts his hands up in a surrender motion and takes a few steps away. He's probably being so over dramatic because of the nightmares. "I know what you're doing."

"What am I doing Annie?" He asks confused.

"You're trying to avoid this forever by being passionate. Finnick it's not going to change anything I-"

"Annie I don't think I'm doing that." He says unsure.

The water drops are falling down on me and rolling down my flesh.

"I think you are. I don't want to talk about this either but you need to stop trying to avoid this. You're thinking that-"

"Annie I just don't want to lose you. I want to be with you because I'm afarid I will never see you again so you have to know how much I love you."

I hug him he is still soapy from showering but I don't care I lean my head on his chest and breathe deeply.

I let go of him and kiss his cheek and get out. That is a good enough answer for me.

"I love you." I say. He nods and kisses my cheek.

I head downstairs after getting dressed. I put my hair up into a messy bun.

I sit down on the couch in front of the tv that gave divesting news. It's not going to be the same. I haven't seen Finnick for almost a whole year and now something like this happens.

I sigh and grip a pillow.

I see Finnick come downstairs and he smiles at me. I wonder if Finnick is right just spend 24/7 in bed together always having him close. But, then again when it is reaping day and his name gets called it will be worse than it already is.


	149. Chapter 149

**Chapter 149**

"Let's go somewhere." Finnick says.

"Okay?" I say confused. It's been a couple days since the card reading. Finnick and I still haven't exactly discussed what is going to happen when he goes … and if I go into the arena. I don't want tall about this but, I know we have to. The reaping is in less than three months.

I haven't seen Finnick for almost a whole year. This is so unfair.

"It's somewhere I've never taken you." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Really?" I ask surprised.

He nods.

"Wait… is this a Finnick gesture?" I ask.

He takes my hand and brings it to my lips.

He shakes his head.

"No, I wouldn't have the time… inspiration has been lost too." He says sadly.

"Okay so where are you taking me?" I ask and move my thumb across his cheek.

"You'll see and you'll know why I've never taken you there."

I look at him strangely.

"I know the card reading just happened and I thought I should show you."

"Okay." I say confused.

Finnick and I walk hand and hand and he starts leading me somewhere. I think I know where.

"Why are you taking me here?" I ask.

"You know where we are going don't you?" I ask.

"I have an idea."

He nods.

When we arrive I am correct. Technically he has never taken me here but we have been here together before.

"Let's go over here." He says and starts to lead me somewhere. I know where, I don't have to ask.

Finnick sits down when we get there and I follow suit.

"Why did you take me to the cemetery Finnick?" I ask and look at his sisters grave. It still looks out of place here. It's too new. I notice Jason doesn't have one. I wonder what the peacekeepers did with his body.

I lean against Finnick's chest and he wraps his arms around me. It's quiet for awhile. We are just enjoying the nice sea breezes and the sunlight.

Finnick strokes my hair and I look up at him. He kisses me.

He smiles sadly.

"If I die-" Finnick whispers

"Finnick." I say confused and a bit annoyed. I don't like talking about this. I don't want to think about him dead.

He kisses the top of my head.

"Just listen to me okay?"

"Finnick." I whisper.

"This is important to me Annie. So please listen." He says and runs his fingers through my hair.

"Okay." I whisper.

"I know I'm going in there. I'm the only male victor left. I'm going to see that arena."

I start tracing circles on his back which Finnick knows I only do this when I'm upset or nervous. In this case it is both.

He kisses the top of my head.

"If I die, which I don't plan on doing because I want to annoy you forever." I smile and he smiles back. "But if somehow I do… die I want you to pick where you want me." He says. At first I am confused but then I understand.

His sea green eyes have turned to a dark evergreen. They are only this color when he is angry. I know he isn't angry at me.

I swallow hard.

"You mean where your gravestone will be? Where your final resting place will be?"

He nods.

"Yes." He says.

"Isn't that something you're supposed to do?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"No. It's something I want you to choose." He says.

"What if my choice is to let you choose?" I say with a smile.

"Then that is what will happen." He smiles and kisses me.

"Okay let me think for a bit. I don't come here often." I say.

He nods.

"This is weird though. I mean picking out where to place you when you die." I say.

"When?" He asks slightly confused.

I roll my eyes.

"Even if you do make it out of the arena you're not going to live forever." He smiles. "The only important part is that I will be next to you."

"Okay." He smiles.

I stand up and walk around. I see my father's grave and can tell my mother has been here from the wild flowers at his grave.

I smile. I should visit him more often.

I sit down and look at the beach. The sea is supposed to go on forever. I know I will love Finnick that long. There's a spot close to the beach that has purple flowers. If that's not a sign I don't know what is. That's the spot I want to visit Finnick.

"Finnick." I say and he walks over here. He was trailing behind me while I was exploring. He knew he should leave me alone though. This is some heavy stuff we are talking about.

"Yes?" He smiles. Before I tell him I realize something.

"Don't you want to be with your sister or brother or mom and dad?" When I list all of his dead family members it makes my heart sore.

He shrugs.

"I don't think they will mind. I'm trying to please the most important person to me" He smiles. "And that's you Cresta." I smile. In a weird way this is cute. But, if I think about it hard enough it is sad. I'm picking out the spot I want to see Finnick's dead body.

"Okay. Well what about me?" I ask.

"What about you?" He asks confused.

"Where will I go if I die first?"

"The spot right next to where you want me."

I smile.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says and kisses me. "So is this it?" He asks.

I nod.

"I like it." He smiles.

"I'm glad."

"I should make it official. You can go home while I talk about reserving it."

"Finnick-"

He kisses my forehead.

"Go home Annie." He whispers into my skin.

"Okay." I say maybe it is too painful for him to do this with me there. I don't think he has an ulterior motive.

He runs his fingers over the chain of the locket he gave me. It also holds the ring Finnick used to propose with. He starts fiddling with it.

"Annie." He whispers.

"I'm going, don't worry.

He shakes his head and smiles. He continues to play with the ring I hope he isn't going to ask me again.

"No, I just... don't marry me." He says.

"Finnick-"

"Not because I might die anyways."

I roll my eyes.

"I won't marry you out of pity Finnick Odair."

"Thought I should just mention it." He says and let's go of the ring.

"Okay." I say.

"Not saying that you can _never_ marry me." He says and kisses me.

I roll my eyes.

"I know." I say and smile.

"What?" He asks.

"What do you mean 'what'?"

"You look happy talking about this."

"I am… I do want to marry you maybe I should put it on." I say.

He opens his mouth to talk.

"Not out of pity, but because I know I will marry you one day."

"Alright. Do you want me to get down on one knee again?" He teases.

I roll my eyes.

" ask me again." I say and he smiles.

"Annie Cresta today of all days I ask you in a cemetery." He looks around with a smile and I roll my eyes."That you will marry me…one day." He says

"One day." I repeat.

He leans in and takes off the necklace to remove the ring from the chain. He then places the ring on my finger.

"It's now official. It's now Finnick and Annie engaged."

I shake my head and smile.

"You're such a dork."

"Like you're any better." He smiles and kisses me.

"Getting engaged in a cemetery now there's a story." I say.

He hugs me and places his chin on my head.

"Yeah but a good one." He whispers.

I nod and kiss his chest. I don't know why I said no to him in the first place… it is questionable. I might never marry Finnick but I can always hold onto one day.


	150. Chapter 150

**Chapter 150**

I wake up and find Finnick gone. He was sleeping next to me. I wonder where he is now. As it gets closer and closer to reaping day the nightmares get worse and worse and not just for me. I don't think there will be anymore peaceful sleeps in this house.

I walk downstairs hoping to find Finnick. If he isn't I don't know where he would be.

I walk downstairs and sigh in relief because I see Finnick at the kitchen table. I get closer and see he has a stack of books next to him. They are all very old and bound in leather.

I go behind him and wrap my arms around his shoulders.

He rubs my forearms but doesn't stop whatever he is doing.

I kiss the back of his neck.

"Morning." I whisper.

"Good morning Annie." He says in a strange tone. I look to the kitchen and see the coffee maker is on.

"Finnick how long have you been awake?" I ask worried.

"Awhile. I just have to figure it out." He whispers.

"Figure what out?"

"This." He says and points to the Quarter Quell symbol.

"Finnick I don't think-"

"Think about it Annie all those years all planned out, surely this must not have been in the plan."

He runs his fingers through his hair. I let go of him and walk in front of him so I can see his face. He has been up for awhile it looks like he didn't sleep at all.

The reaping is at the end of the week. I'm surprised he didn't do this earlier.

"Finnick-" I say worried.

"I've been looking over this-"

He says and pulls out an old wrinkled and torn paper. He hands it to me and it is as delicate as flower petals.

"Where did you get this?" I ask surprised.

"It's not the official thing. It's one of the few copies District Four has. The real one is probably held up in some vault in the Capitol."

The title is written in very fancy calligraphy. It's a copy of the Treaty of Treason.

"It's longer than what they say in the video." I say just glancing at it.

He nods.

"Obviously." He mumbles.

"Finnick you should go back to bed." I say gently.

He shakes his head.

"There has to be a loophole Annie. They can't do this…_ he_ can't do this."

I run my fingers through his hair.

"Go to sleep sweetie." I say.

"I can't, not till I find a good fix."

"There isn't one." I say sadly.

"Annie." He says.

I sniffle.

"Sometimes there is nothing we can do. Which is why we said we would only worry about it when the day came."

"I think I can fix it though Annie." He says and has that crazed look in his eyes.

I sigh and sit next to him.

I look back down at the Treaty of Treason.

_We the people of Panem need to form a perfect and tranquil world. We need to enforce a new way of life to our beloved Capitol and Districts._

_To make sure nothing terrible like this happens again new laws will be enforced. _

_No. 1 In penance for their uprising, each district shall offer up a male and a female between the ages of 12 and 18 at a public "reaping". These tributes shall be delivered to the custody of the Capitol. And then transferred to a public arena, where they will fight to the death until a lone victor remains. Henceforth and forevermore this pageant shall be known as The Hunger Games."_

_No. 2 It will be enforced that every twenty five years of the Huger Games will hold a new degree to show the Districts what they have done. These Hunger Games will be dubbed as a Quarter Quell._

_No. 3 If the Districts are ever to rebel and question our leadership again there will be no more negotiations. The citizens will pay the ultimate price. What ever that may be._

"Finnck?" I say. Not bothering to read the other twenty.

"Mmmh?" He says through a yawn.

"Did you read this?" I ask even though I know the answer.

He nods.

"Why?" He asks confused.

"Rule number three." I say hoping he noticed too.

"What about it?" He asks confused.

"It says _this_ time."

"So?" He says unamused.

"So… that implies that negotiations were made for the Dark Days and it sounds like it was one the Captiol didn't like."

Finnick shrugs.

"Maybe, maybe not." He says and yawns again.

"Finnick." I say and rub his forearm.

"Yes?"

"Go to sleep." I say gently.

He sighs.

"Maybe just for a little bit." He says knowing I will keep asking or rather telling.

"Okay." I say and kiss him.

He smiles and then heads upstairs.

_If the Districts are ever to rebel and question our leadership again there will be no negotiations this time. The citizens will pay the ultimate price. Whatever that may be._

"This time." I whisper.

* * *

"Hello citizens of District Four and welcome to the reaping of the 75th Hunger Games and the third Quarter Quell!" Aries shouts into the microphone but, something about his tone is off. He doesn't sound as cheerful as he usually does.

"Now let's watch my favorite video." He smiles. It shows the video and I sigh. "Wasn't that marvelous." He says with a smile. "Now onto the reaping let's start with the girls." Aries says. He isn't his chipper and exciting self. He sounds… sad.

His hand dips into the reaping bowl. Instead of thousands of slips there are only three. I look to the male bowl and see only one. The slip of paper that says _Finnick Odair. _I start to play with my locket out of nerves. It seems like an hour has passed before Aries has a slip of paper in his hand.

He walks back to the microphone slowly. He tears the sticker and unfolds the paper. His eyes drift right to me. I swallow hard my name must be on that paper.

"The female tribute representing District Four for the 75th Hunger Games is… Annie Cresta."

My whole body starts to shake and before I know it I'm on my knees and screaming.

I get pulled up by some peacekeepers and they are starting to drag me away.

"Stop." I hear Mags say calmly. "I volunteer. Take me not her." She says in a normal tone like this is an everyday topic.

"Very well." Aries says. The peacekeepers start to take her away and Luna helps me up.

"It's okay Annie." She whispers and rubs my arm. I sniffle. I'm surprised she is comforting me at all. Then again she has shown sings of comfort before esoically when Finnick passed out.

"It's okay." She repeats.

"Now onto the men." Aries says and looks at Finnick. Everyone knows it is going to be him so I don't know why they are doing this. I guess to taunt him. To taunt us, the victors.

"Finnick Odair." Aries says softly.

Finnick looks a little happy. I'm confused but, then I remember he has to act this way.

I swallow hard.

"These are the tributes representing District Four. Now shake hands you two." Aries says. Mags and Finnick don't shake hands, they hug instead. I notice Finnick whispers something to Mags maybe it is 'thank you'.

People get escorted out of the square and peacekeepers escort Mags and Finnick to the Justice Building for their final goodbyes.

This is usually when Aries comes to take us to the trains. However he isn't. I figure we have to do it ourselfs.

I start walking but get forcefully stopped.

"What are you doing!?" I yell at the peacekeeper.

"Annie." Aries says gently.

"Let go of me!" I look up at the peacekeeper but he doesn't do anything.

"I can tell them." Aries says gently. The peacekeeper looks at us but then let's go but, he is still in walking distance

"Luna, Annie it's nice to see you." He says gently. It's strange seeing him like this.

"I guess." I say.

"Cut to the chase Aries we don't want to miss the train." Luna says.

"You won't have to worry about that." He says and strokes his intricate teal beard.

"Why?" I ask worried.

"There has been a change in the plans." He says sadly.

"What do you mean _change_?" I ask worried.

"Annie." Luna says gently. I know the blow is coming. I know what Aries is going to say. The peacekeeper behind him isn't exactly helping.

"Because everything is so _marvelous_ this year they felt only the tributes should go." He says I think he is actually sad.

"No!" I shout. I try to move forward but Luna wraps her arms around my waist. "No, I'm supposed to at least say goodbye!" I shout. Finnick and I already said goodbye. We had long talks. We stayed up almost all night talking. However, the rule is that before you get sent to your death you are allowed at least five minutes with your loved ones.

"Not this year." Aries says and I think I can see his eyes fill with tears.

"I need to see him! One last time!" I end up shouting. I somehow get Luna to let go of me but I don't run off to the train like I thought I would. I stay still frozen in place.

"I'm so sorry Annie." I hear Aries say before he walks to the train station.

This time he is sorry. I can tell. He has known Finnick for ten years. Me for five. Luna and Mags I don't even know how long. He no longer sees us as Capitol play things. He sees us for what we truly are. People.


	151. Chapter 151

**Chapter 151**

I get dragged back to my house by Luna. She isn't really dragging me just holding my hand and pulling me a little. It's like when a child walks for the first time. I'm so out of my element right now. I can't even process it.

I have barely seen Finnick for the majority of this year. Now I can't even see him before he dies. We didn't even consider that I wouldn't be going. We both counted on us being together until the tube rose.

My grip on Luna's hand clenches and I start screaming. I don't know why. I just do.

"Annie." Luna says gently.

"It's not fair!" I shout and go down to my knees. Luna kneels next to me. "Don't you agree with me?" I say.

She nods.

"Everything will be okay." She says

"I really wish people will stop feeding me that lie." I say defeated.

"Annie." She says and I look at her really look at her. She looks sad too. I know she doesn't feel sorry for me. Maybe, it's because of Mags she was her mentor too.

"I don't care." I say. I don't want to hear what she is going to tell me.

I let go of her hand and walk home. I walk through the door and feel arms around me.

"Annie." My mom says and strokes my hair. "I'm so glad you're alright." She has the same tone of voice she did when she visited me in the Justice Building, before I was whisked away to the Capitol to play the life or death game. I hadn't really considered how she would have felt if I got called back in. I guess I just didn't think it would happen.

I nod not knowing what to say.

"Wait." She says and looks at me confused.

"What?" I ask.

"Shouldn't you be on the train?" She asks worried.

I shake my head.

"New rules... because of the Quell I can't go." I whisper still not believeing this.

My mother swallows hard.

"I see." She whispers. I'm glad she doesn't tell me everything will be alright because it won't be. I didn't get to say goodbye to Finnick and I'm almost certain he will die. I don't even remember the last thing he said to me.

* * *

I toss and turn but can't sleep. It's because Finnick isn't here. It's because Finnick's going to die.

I sit up and go downstairs. I turn on the firefly lights and open the porch door. I walk outside, it is a nice spring night. I sit down on one of the benches and look up at the sky. A bright full moon is shining tonight. I can see it reflecting off the fountain water.

I sigh and put my hands over my face then lie on my back.

"Where are you?" I whisper and start twirling around the engagement ring. I don't regret saying yes. I will still hold onto one day.

I stand back up and before I know it I'm leaving my house.

I knock quietly on the door. I see the lights in the hall flip on. I'm starting to regret this, I'm worried she might have been sleeping.

"Hello Annie." Pearl says as she opens the door. "Come in." She says with a smile.

"Thanks." I whisper.

"I expected you earlier." She smiles.

"I wanted to be alone." I whisper.

"I understand. I wanted to say goodbye too." She says sadly.

"They didn't let you?" I say surprised.

She shakes her head.

"I don't think anyone is allowed to say goodbye this time." She says.

"That's awful." I whisper.

"Indeed." She looks down at my finger and smiles. I wonder if Finnick told her. I'm sure Finnick had to ask her for it. "Finnick wanted me to tell you, you shouldn't watch the games."

"But-"

"I know you will watch." She places her hands on top of mine. "I think he knows that too."

"Of course I will… I'd want to know... when and who… how." I whisper.

"Me too." She smiles sadly. "He might come back Annie."

I scoff.

"I can't think like that… I can't hope for that." I smile sadly. "The odds aren't exactly in his favor… everyone is too evenly matched."

"Maybe." She says and yawns.

"I'm sorry I woke you." I say.

"It's fine Annie." She says and I feel guilty.

"I should leave." I whisper.

"I'll see you tomorrow then Annie."

"Goodbye Pearl." I say and walk outside.

I go back to my front porch and sit on the rocking chair. I sit out here until I feel my eyes get heavy.

* * *

"Annie." I hear and feel a shaking on my shoulder.

"Mmmh." I moan. I can feel an imprint from the chair on my face. I stand up and my back hurts. "Last time I sleep out here." I mumble.

"Why were you sleeping out here?" She asks with a smile.

"I was talking to Pearl about Finnick."

She nods and then sits next to me.

"Is it going to be hard when you watch?" She asks and strokes my hair.

"It's not like I have a choice." I mutter. "It will be better than being in the hive." I say. I told her everything that goes on when I mentor.

She nods.

"I should get dressed." I say. I head upstairs and take a good thirty minutes to shower but really I'm standing there letting the water droplets fall on me.

I get out and dry off. I head to the closet and open.

I swallow hard when I see all of his things.

I can feel my throat get tight.

"What am I going to do with you?" I whisper.

"Annie!" I hear my mom yell.

"Coming!" I yell back.

I get downstairs and my Mother looks pale. I'm wondering what happened.

"What's wrong Mom?"

She smiles.

"They apparently want you and Luna at the Justice Building."

"Why?" I ask nervously.

"I don't know." She says worried. I must say I'm worried too.


	152. Chapter 152

**Chapter 152**

I head to the Justice Building wondering what this meeting will be about. I'm nervous that something bad is going to happen to me. Happen to me and Luna

I get into the Justice Building and am escorted by a peacekeeper to a room. I soon realize that this is the same room Demetrius told us the new rules. Where he told me I could no longer see Finnick. It's almost ironic now.

I sit next to Luna and she smiles.

"You alright Annie?" She asks concerned.

"I'm fine." I smile.

"Finnick is right you are a terrible liar."

"When did he-"

"We do talk when we are in the Capitol ."

I nod not fully believing her.

"Do you know why we're here?" I ask.

She shakes her head.

"We'll find out soon though." She says.

"Okay." I say. Before we can discuss any theories the door opens causing us both to jump.

"Hello ladies." Demetrius says and I feel like crying. He looks me up and down. He shakes his head like Aries does when he is disgusted with me. "I'll make this short because you have to make it in time."

"What are you talking about?" Luna asks angry.

"Some of the other Districts have been complaining about lack of mentors. 'How will they get our packages' and other issues.." He says slightly annoyed.

"What does this have to do with us?" I ask confused.

"President Snow thought this wouldn't be an issue because quite honestly most Districts don't have enough victors to be able to have mentors. However, this did not stop the more spirited Districts. In the end we came to agreement. Only one may go."

I look at him confused.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"I think he's saying we can go to the Capitol." Luna says.

"Only one may go that was the deal." He says.

"You go Annie." Luna says. Before I can answer Demetrius starts talking.

"Unfortunately the decision is not for you to decide." He says.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Your past performances will be evulate and other activities you do here." He smiles and looks at me. I noticed he didn't answer my question

"I've done this longer that's not fair." Luna says. Although that isn't the only unfair part considering I've never been allowed to look for sponsors.

"Seniority won't be taken into account."

I open my mouth to speak.

"I have things to do." He says then leaves the room.

"This isn't fair." I whisper

"Annie-"

"They should just get you a train tonight." I say and stand up.

"Don't give up Annie."

"Why we both know it's going to be you. Besides, you'd be the better mentor anyways. I don't even know how to find and send sponsor gifts."

"Annie-" She says something else but I leave the room. I'm too angry to listen to this.

* * *

I'm sitting in the living room twirling my glasses around. I turn the television on to watch the recaps for the reapings. I know all the tributes will be in the Capitol by tomorrow. Demetrius said the decision would be made in a few days and guaranteed we would be there for the first training day. That would only give me a week before Finnick walks to the arena but, I know I won't be going. I just wish I could've seen Finnick on reaping day before he got taken to the Capitol. Seen him and hold him. Kiss him just say goodbye one last time.

I turn the tv off after I see myself screaming. Besides, I don't want to see some of the faces when they get their names called.

I eat a piece of candy that are Finnick's favorite. I hear the door open and footsteps that lead in here.

"Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker Annie." Lana says with a smile as she pulls out a bottle.

"Vodka?" I ask.

"Yes and it's chocolate so two birds." She smiles and I roll my eyes

"Did you bring something to mix it with so we don't get flat out drunk?"

"Just control your drinking Annie Cresta." She smiles and sits next to me.

"Where did you get that stuff anyways?" I ask as she pours me some.

"I have my ways bedides, I figured you would want a drink considering..."

"You aren't supposed to drink to satisfy your feelings."

"That's not what I'm saying." She smiles.

"I know." I say and take a sip. It burns on the way dow like usual. Flavored vodka isn't my favorite but the chocolate kind is bearable.

"How are you holing ip?" She asks in a more serious tone.

"Alright I guess. I mean I might go to the Capitol and see Finnick before... you know but my odds are slim."

"What are you talking about? " She asks confused.

"I went to the Justice Building and Demetrius said they are going to evulate Luna and myself to see which is the more _deserving_ victor to go." I sigh. "I know it won't be me Lana."

She strokes my hair. "You don't know that." She whispers.

I fidget with my glasess.

"Annie." She says gently.

"They're going to choose the more qualified victor and that's not me." I say

"You dont-"

"I'm not allowed to look for sponsors and I've never been to a mentors report..." I breathe in and out deeply. "Even if they did choose me... Finnick and Mags wouldn't stand a chance."

"Annie this is like an all star version. I'm sure some of Finnick's clients would sponsor him. I mean they do think he loves them." She says.

I take off my glasses and start to twirl then around.

"I would have to be chosen first and that's not going to happen." I whisper and take another sip.

"They will." She smiles. I roll my eyes a take another sip.

"You don't know that." I mutter.

"No, but I'm optimistic. I thought you were too."

I sigh.

"Not anymore, too much has happened for me to optimistic".

"Full out pessimistic?" She teases.

"Nah if I had to define it I would say realist" I smile and she rolls her eyes.

"It's strange... wanting to go to the Capitol to be a part of the Hunger Games." I say

"It's not the same and you know it, you want to see Finnick again." Lana says.

"Yeah but if I don't I'll be like every person in Panem watching on the televison screen. However, the person on TV won't be my Finnick. It will be the fake one, the one he is pretending to be."

She strokes my hair and I lean into her.

"It's alright Annie." She says.

"The last time I will saw the real Finnick was right before we left to get reaped... and I don't even remember what he said." I say sadly and chug the rest that was in my cup.

Lana smiles.

"You'll see him again." She whispers.

"Maybe." I whisper. I want to believe that but the sad part is I don't.


	153. Chapter 153

**Chapter 153**

I wake up on the couch and see Lana sitting in the chair across from me.

"Mmmh." I say. I don't feel hungover and yet I see that the vodka bottle is empty. "I'm not hungover am I?" I ask her confused.

"Ah the free prize at every vodka bottle. Memory impairment." She smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"I don't have memory impairment I'm just confused as to why I'm not." I say.

"Well you shouldn't be hungover since you only had two glasses and then you stopped like a responsible adult." She smiles.

"Then why is the bottle empty?"

"It was a small bottle Annie."

I nod.

"Do you feel any better?"

I nod.

"Better is a strange word." I say and she smiles.

"Do you want me to stay here when they show the opening ceremonies?" She asks.

"Oh yeah those are today." I mumble. "Yeah sure, I just wonder what ridiculous outfit Yule has planned this year." I say and she smiles.

* * *

"Why would Yule do this?" I hear Lana ask as District Fours chariot rolls out. Mags and Finnick don't even have matching outfits. Well I don't think you could call Finnick's an outfit considering it is just lots of rope wrapped around his groin. I wonder how they put that on him. I really don't want to know either. I shouldn't be surprised after all, if Finnick dies the world will no longer be able to see his physique.

"He didn't for me." I say. I'm getting the feeling this is a new designer.

"He did like showing some of your skin sweetie." My mom says gently.

"He wouldn't do something this obvious. He did have a little class. Besides, since I am defending Yule it must be true." I smile.

"I guess." Lana says.

I stand up.

"I'm gonna get some water." I say and they nod.

I start walking to the kitchen.

"If training day number one is tomorrow-" I hear Lana whisper

"I think they told Luna already." My Mom whispers back.

They clearly didn't want me to hear this. I guess it doesn't matter it's the truth. I knew I wouldn't be going from the get go.

I get the glass and come back. I sit down. I hear a knock on the door and jump.

"I'll get it." I say.

They both nod.

I head to the door and see Demetrius.

"Come to tell me I don't get to go." I say annoyed.

"Quite the opposite actually." He smiles.

"Huh?" I say confused.

"You get to go Annie." He says with a smug smile.

I suddenly understand why he chose me.

"You chose me because you think they will die in my hands." I say angrily.

He smiles. Clearly I am right.

"It doesn't matter if you don't take me up on this offer then I will tell Luna she may go-"

Luna. I think

"Be on the train in twenty minutes." He says and leaves. I know if I'm not on that train I won't be going to the Capitol.

After Demetrius leaves I head to Luna's house. I knock on the door which she opens quickly.

"Good he must've told you." She smiles.

I look at her. I understand now. They didn't pick me.

"You said no." I say.

She nods.

"I figured they would let you go then. After all, it wouldn't be fair." She smiles. "Besides, I don't really want to be apart of this Hunger Games. Considering there is probably going to be a new world order after." She says

I look at her confused.

"New world order? What the heck does that mean?"

"It would take too long to explain." She says and I know she is lying.

"Okay." I whisper.

"You should hurry. I know they may change victors, but if you miss the train-"

"Thank you." I whisper.

"Don't mention it." She smiles and closes the door.

I hurry back to my house and tell my Mom and Lana all that has happened. I grab the select things I usually take to the Capitol with me.

"Let's go sweetie." My Mom says and we walk to the train station.

We make it there and she hugs me.

"I'll see you after this is over." She strokes my hair.

"I know." I whisper.

"Don't worry about him so much Annie. You can't control fate." She says.

"I know." I say again.

She kisses the top of my head and I get on the train.

I get taken to room and lie on the bed.

_I wonder what Luna meant by new world order. I wonder why that would upset her so much._

* * *

I hear the train go click clack against the tracks. I've never been on one of these alone. Even when I was captured Snow or a peacekeeper was with me its eerily quiet.

_At least you can see him before you die._

* * *

I get to the tribute center and am told tributes are at their training session still. Like Demetrius said I would make it in time for training day number one.

I figure Finnick is at training. I don't think it is required this time, but I know he wouldn't skip out. He would want to spend more time with other people and try to form an alliance or something. He should also learn more about nature and fire starting because he is terrible at it.

I head near the exit and can hear some of the tributes. I also hear metal on metal knowing people must he practicing with weapons.

I look around and notice none of the escorts are here. The training session should be over within thirty minutes and I know Aries would want to be down here. Then again maybe they don't need to be because everyone has done this before.

I shift my feet over and over again waiting for Finnick. It seems like a lifetime has passed when I hear the horn go off signaling the end of the day.

A few minutes later I see some of the victors file out. I know all of them until I see Peeta and Katniss.

I don't really care about them when I see Finnnick.

I don't shout his name or rush over to him. I walk at a steady pace and wrap my arms around him.

Finnick's body is a little damp with sweat he must've been practicing with weapons or the more likely reason using a trident to remind himself of home.

Finnick is as stiff as a board he is probably wondering if this is real. Or worried that I'm here. Or other reasons that are running around in that head of his.

I lean my head in the crook of his neck. Before I close my eyes I see Katniss looking at me with disgust or more likely Finnick. It's no secret that Finnick has many lovers and it is also obvious that there is a price for that. A price for him. However, not in the way Katniss is thinking. She doesn't know the truth. If she did she wouldn't have the look of repulse on her face.

"What are you doing here?" He asks softly.

"I had to see you one more time." I say not bothering to explain.

He smiles and kisses the top of my head.

"Let's go upstairs." He whispers.

"Okay." I say.

He laces his fingers with mine and we walk to the elevators slowly.

Despite us standing around for a few minutes we share an elevator with Beetee and Wiress who is mumbling something.

I'm assuming Mags saw us and just headed upstairs.

I just keep drawing circles on Finnick's hand and he kisses my forehead.

The elevator reaches our floor and we step out.

"Oh Annie!" I hear Aries shout with glee. Which surprises me, I know he doesn't like me that much. He is probably very sentimental at the moment.

I see Diana and Dean but some other woman. She is tall has a hard expression and has stick straight blonde hair with pink and blue streaks.

Aries sees me staring at her.

"That's Camille the new stylist." He smiles. I get a curt nod in return.

"Did you see my work?" She smiles.

"I did." I say trying not to show my disgust.

"Annnnd?" She says eagerly.

"It's was good." I say.

"That's all _good_." She says angrily.

"Well-"

"I think everyone should get ready for dinner." Aries says trying to defuse the situation.

"Sounds good." I hear Finnick say.

We head to our room and Finnick smiles and kisses me.

"I love you… so much." He whispers and places a stray hair behind my ear. He kisses the tip of my nose.

"I love you too." I say. "I do." I say and he smiles.

"I should take a shower then we can discuss how you got here." He says and kisses me.

"Okay." I say and he leans his forehead against mine.

"You're not going to get in trouble for this are you?" He whispers.

"No, I got permission." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Good. I don't want you to be in any trouble in case-"

"Shh. We can talk about that later too." I say and kiss him.

"Does that mean never?" He says sadly.

"Just later." I say and kiss him again but I know he is right. It does mean never. I don't want to talk about him dying or even think it. I can't do that because then it becomes too real. Even though we are both in the Capitol and he has numbered days it still doesn't feel real. I don't think it will until that platform rises.


	154. Chapter 154

**Chapter 154**

Finnick gets out of the shower shaking his towel over his hair and I smile.

Finnick puts on pajamas and sits on the bed.

"Aries won't approve of that for dinner wear." I tease.

He smiles but it doesn't meet his eyes.

"Finnick I whisper and wrap my arms around him. I lean my head on his back and rub my hands up and down his chest.

"I'm okay." He whispers in that tone of voice when I know he's not

I kiss his shoulder blade.

"Finnick."

He touches my hands because he wants me to let go.

I get off the bed so I can see his face and smile.

"Finnick-" I say and he pulls me down so I'm on his lap. "It's okay." I say and rub his back.

"I thought I'd never seen you again." He whispers.

"Me too." I say and rub his back.

His grip around me tightens.

We just hold each other until we hear the shrill voice of Aries calling us to dinner.

I kiss Finnick's cheek.

"Hungry?" I ask.

"I really haven't been since I've gotten here."

I run my fingers through his hair.

"You should eat something, probably as much as you can because you won't starve as easily." I say gently.

He smiles and then we stand up. He kisses me and then we head to the dining room.

They are serving a nice stew tonight with rolls and steamed vegetables and potatoes. There are dozens of other things and I don't even see dessert.

Finnick laces his fingers with mine but continues eating. I smile. He doesn't want to let go of me. I don't want to let go of him but eating will be hard.

I dip my roll in the stew and it makes me feel warm. I didn't realize I was cold.

I lean my head on Finnick's shoulder during dessert. It's a nice three tier chocolate cake something neither Finnick or myself are fond of so we politely decline and head back to our room.

"Finnick." I say.

"Mmmh?" He says.

"I think I should change. I'm a little cold." I say. I am wearing shorts and a tank top. I guess it was warmer in 4.

"Okay." He says and kisses my hand before letting go.

Finnick lies down in bed. Almost in the fetal position. I head to the bathroom to wash my face and get ready for bed. I pick soft pajamas that are nice and warm.

"Annie." I hear Finnick mumble and hurry from the bathroom.

"I'm right here." I say and walk over to his nightstand and hold his hand.

"I glad you're here. I'm glad you somehow got to be here." He whispers.

I nod and swallow hard.

"Me too." I whisper.

It's only nine we aren't really tired. Finnick places me on his chest and wraps his arms around me. He feels like a warm blanket.

Hours pass until one of us says anything.

"Annie." Finnick whispers.

"Yes?" I say.

"How did you get here?" He asks concerned.

"Apparently people were complaining and Luna let me go."

He nods and kisses the top of my head.

"Okay." He says which startles me. Usually that wouldn't be a good enough explanation.

"Sweetie." I say and look up at him.

"Pulling out the big guns." He mutters annoyed.

"Finnick." I say more annoyed than gentle.

He puts his hands on his temples.

"Annie I didn't think it would be this hard." He whispers.

I rub his arm up and down.

"I know." I say.

"No you don't." He says angrily and breathes in and out deeply. "I'm sorry." He says.

"It's okay." I kiss his cheek. "You're right I don't know what it's like. I couldn't imagine."

He smiles and kisses the top of my head.

"In more ways than one Annie." He kisses my forehead. "In more ways than one." He says and I look at him strangely.

"You're not telling me something." I say. It isn't a quedtion. It's a statement.

He smiles sadly.

"Always."

I nod and lean into him.

I hear the clock from the living area chime and Finnick grasp around me tightens.

"What's wrong?" I whisper and kiss his chest.

He swallows hard.

"I have to go." He whispers.

"What?" I say and look up at him. I see pain on his face. "Is it a client?" I ask. I feel angry. Of course he would have those, he might die after all. That means no more Finnick to buy.

"Something like that." He musters.

My grasp around him tightens.

"It won't be that long Annie. Honest. I'm staying in the hotel and everything." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Okay." He smiles. He kisses me then gets up. "I love you." He says and leaves the room.

I hear talking outside others must be awake still. I hear the elevator open then close. I sit up. If there was a time to talk to Mags it would be now. I need to thank her.

I open my door and glimpse in the common room. I don't see her and I don't want to wake her either. Never the less I head to her room and knock on the door. To my surprise it opens quickly.

"Annie." She smiles and motions for me to come in.

"Mags." I say.

"Finnick will be back soon." She says and brushes hair off my shoulder. I wonder how she knew he left.

"I know… I… just… thank you I guess?" The words sound stupid as thy leave my mouth.

She smiles and puts her hand on my shoulder. Then she kisses my forehead.

"You don't need to thank me Annie. You don't deserve this."

"And you do?"

"No. None of us do." She says.

I nod confused.

I don't want to ask this but the words come out without my consent.

"Why? Why did you volunteer for me?"

"Because I felt that I had to." She says and smiles.

I breathe in and out deeply that's not the kind of answer I wanted.

"Annie. You're better than most of the people here and I love you dearly but-", I open my mouth to speak but she shakes her head. "You are also the most delicate. You aren't in a good condition to go in there."

"I know. I would die." I say confused.

She nods.

"Probably not from someone else Annie. Probably from yourself." She says. The room seems very small. She didn't volunteer for me because she cared about me. Okay that was probably part of the reason. She volunteered for me because she thought I would kill myself and honestly, I think she is right.

* * *

Finnick comes back within twenty minutes and I'm surprised. I don't think he went to see a client but who knows what they wanted.

Finnick comes back in bed and nestles next to me. I soon feel his hands around my waist.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes?" He says as his face finds its place on my shoulder.

"Are you glad I'm not in there with you." I whisper.

"Yes." He says almost angrily.

"Okay." I whisper. He doesn't ask anymore questions which I am great full for.

Finnick keeps kissing my shoulder and neck. I want him to kiss every inch of me but resist from asking. Right now him holding me is what feels the best.


	155. Chapter 155

**Chapter 155**

I hear the elevator doors open and know they are back from training day number two.

"Finnick." I say and run towards. He wraps his arms around me instantly.I let go of him and he leads us to our room. Aries says something that I don't catch.

I open my mouth to speak but Finnick beats me to the punch.

"How did I get you to like me?" He asks.

"Uhhhh I don't know by being Finnick." I say confused.

He smiles but, I can tell he doesn't like this answer.

"No, I mean when you were a tribute."

"Clearly your memory is a little fuzzy if you think I liked you that much." I smile and he shakes his head.

"Before you went into the arena you did a little and trusted me, right?" He asks.

"What does this have to do with anything?" I ask confused.

"I just… please tell me Annie."

"Well for the most part I pondered why you acted the way you did. I don't think I ever fully trusted you…"

He sighs.

"Why is this so important to you?" I ask confused.

"I need to get her to like me." He whispers.

"Her who?" I ask confused.

He breathes in and out deeply.

"Katniss."

I cock my head to the side and look at him dumbfounded.

"Why?" I ask.

"An alliance Annie."

"Finnick her and Peeta are weak links. I know this much, don't hitch your carriage to a dead horse."

He scratches the back of his head.

"Never mind." He says.

"Are you okay?" I ask concerned. I know he isn't but he's acting strange.

He nods.

"Just haven't done this in awhile." He mutters.

"Okay…" I say still confused.

"I just don't think it's fair to them... with their engagement and all."

"Finnick that's a publicity stunt." I say gently.

He shakes his head.

"I just… I need her to like me." He says flustered.

I take his hand and lead him to the bed.

"Then stop trying so hard." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

"But-"

"Finnick you only have a few days and you're alter ego isn't exactly likable. Besides, the way she looked at you yesterday-"

"What are you talking about?" He looks at me confused and worried.

"When I gave you a hug after training she looked at you with disgust. Getting her to like you isn't very likely. You should just team up with people you already like… maybe Johanna." I say and run my fingers through his hair.

He puts his hands on his temples.

"I wish I could talk to you about this." He says.

"About what?" I look at him confused.

"Nothing." He whispers and shakes his head.

"Finnick I might be able to help you if you tell me everything."

He smiles and kisses me.

"I can't tell you everything Annie. Then there would no longer be any mystery."

"Have you forgotten that I live with you, most of the mystery is gone." I tease and he smiles.

"Exactly _most_."

"Finn-" I start but get cut off from his lips crashing against mine. He's avoiding talking about something again. He knows I'm not stupid. He's knows and I know what he is doing.

I break the kiss.

"I love you." I say instead of asking more questions. I don't want to fight with him.

"I love you too." He says and kisses my cheek.

I hug him.

"What did you do at training?" I whisper into his shoulder.

"Tie knots... fish hooks... nothing too physical." He smiles.

"You should really go over plants and fire starting those aren't exactly your area of expertise."

"I will tomorrow." He says.

I look up at him and raise my eyebrows.

He holds up his hand and smiles.

"Honest."

I roll my eyes.

"Okay. But I will ask Mags to make sure you have followed through." He smiles and kisses me.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I know." I say and smile.

It's silent for a few minutes.

"I have to leave a little later."

"Client?" I whisper with disgust.

He swallows hard and nods. He then starts to chew his nails. Which means only one thing. He's lying. He always does that when he lies, it's his tell.

He looks down at me worried probably knowing I know he is lying.

"Okay." I whisper instead.

He kisses the top of my head and I lean into his chest. I wish I could hold him forever.

I also wonder what his new found obsession with Katniss is.

* * *

I'm curled up in a ball on the sofa in the common area waiting for Finnick to come back. He left awhile ago and I feel a little guilty because I couldn't stop crying as he left.

I start drawing circles on the fancy fabric. I close my eyes and want to scream. Finnick has been gone for a good thirty minutes.

I feel a shaking on my arm and jump. I must've fallen asleep.

"Annie." Finnick says. His facial expression is hard and his eyes are blazing with fire.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

His expression softens and he smiles.

"Nothing. I'm with you." He says and sits next to me.

I scrunch my face and start crying.

"What's wrong?" He asks alarmed.

I'm crying because he won't be with me very very soon. Too soon.

"Annie did I say something that upset you?" He asks and strokes my hair.

I don't want to nod so I just cry instead.

"Annie it's okay." Finnick says worried.

I don't say anything. I just wrap my arms around him tightly. I rest my head in the crook of his neck and cry. I hear the elevator open and expect Aries or Camille.

I'm crying so hard that I don't hear their footsteps. When they are close enough they reek of alcohol.

"Finnick." I hear Haymitch say.

What is he doing here? I think confused.

"Finnick I need to talk to you still." He says. He is trying to be gentle, I can tell. I wonder what is so pressing that he has to come over while I am crying. Haymitch should know when to stay away.

I'm still in hysterics so it's hard to understand what they are saying.

"Not now Haymitch." Finnick says and moves hair from my face.

"Finnick you can't just walk out this-"

"I said not now!" Finnick basically shouts.

"It will only take a minute of your time." He says. Haymitch is clearly getting impatient. I don't think he is asking anymore, he is demanding.

Finnick doesn't do anything. I lift my head from Finnick's shoulder. I'm still crying but not hard enough that I can't see Haymitch. Haymitch still has that scowl on his face but there is something in his eyes. It's calculated and he also looks sorry. Sorry that he has to pry Finnick away from me.

I lean my head back in the crook of Finnick's neck which is wet with tears and snot.

Haymitch sighs.

"I'll come back when it is a better time… but Finnick I really need to talk to you about that… alliance."

Is he really that desperate to talk game while I am crying because my best friend, my lover, the person I need, the person who truly makes me feel better, the person who makes me feel safe is going to die.

"Get out!" I scream. It's in a strange high pitch voice that I doubt could be deciphered. Even by Finnick.

Finnick strokes my hair and kisses the top of my head.

I hear a sigh and know it is from Haymitch.

"You need to-" Haymtich starts

"Get out!" I scream again. This time it is more composed. They probably understood. Despite this I end up back in hysterics.

"It's okay." I hear Finnick say and kiss the top of my head.

I hear Haymitch sigh from anger.

Finnick's grip on me tightens. Was Haymitch going to drag Finnick away? That thought is comical. Haymitch is a drunk. He is older than Finnick as well and Finnck is in tip top shape. He could probably have Haymitch in a head lock before I blinked.

I start to feel fury run through my veins. I push myself off of Finnick and stand up.

"Annie." Finnick says worried.

"You!" I shout.

Haymitch looks at me a little shocked. To be quite honest I am as well.

"Annie. It's okay." Finnick says gently. Probably trying to defuse the situation.

"Listen sweetheart I just wanted to talk to him for minute but you couldn't stop yourself from crying. So he felt the need to leave abruptly."

I look at him confused. What is he talking about?

"Haymitch." Finnick says.

"This stuff is important but you are still too stupid to understand-"

"Haymitch." Finnick warns.

"There are bigger things at play here girl and right now you're getting in the way." He snarls.

"Getting in the way?" I repeat angry and confused.

"Haymitch." Finnick says. This time it is angry he's losing his patience.

"Getting in the way. Getting in the way!" I shout.

Haymitch looks surprised by this.

"You're getting in the way and if there was no one to volunteer sweetheart, then this would be a very different discussion." He snarls.

I grumble. I'm confused but more angry. To be fair I've been an emotional wreck since I've gotten here. More so than I usually am, but I am still surprised when the palm of my hand finds Haymtich's cheek

"Annie." Finnick says surprised.

After realizing what I have done I slump to the floor and start crying.

Haymitch must have tried to lunge at me or something because I hear a commotion followed by Finnick yelling at Haymitch and telling him to leave.

"Yeah I get slapped in the face and yet she is all perfect because she can't control herself." Haymitch snorts and I hear the elevator door open and close.

I hear Finnick come over here. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead multiple times.

I sniffle against Finnick's shoulder.

"It's okay Annie." He says as he draws circles on my back.

I shiver from crying so much. I don't care and probably don't want to know why Haymitch needed Finnick so much. I don't understand what some stupid alliance for the games could be so important that he would pry Finnick away from me hysterically crying.

I sigh.

My cheek is getting wet and I want to scream.

"It's okay." Finnick keeps repeating and kissing the top of my head.

I look up at him as he smiles. He wipes away most of the tears and kisses my cheek.

"I love you." I say and hug him.

"I love you too." He says.

Finnick gets me a tissue and cleans up my face. He kisses my forehead and smiles. I whimper and shiver from the tears.

He holds my hand and draws circles on it.

"Finnick?" I croak out.

"Yes?" He asks and kisses my hand.

"What did Haymitch mean about an alliance?"

"For the games, apparently Katniss is very fond of working with Mags. He wants me involved in the equation as well." He says. I believe him but there is something else as well.

"I guess you don't need her to like you then." I sniffle. His grasp tightens around my hand. "Finnick that hurts." I whisper.

"Sorry." He says and let's go. He kisses my temple.

I sniffle and wipe some of the remaining tears on my sleeve.

"Why is that so pressing that he wanted to haul you away when I'm in hysterics?"

"Haymitch is a strange person. Besides, it seems like everyone wants to work with her." He smiles "I should go and talk with him."

"What?" I sob and hug him tighter.

"Not tonight. Tonight we are going to be together." He says and kisses me.

I nod and lean back into his chest. He keeps stroking my hair and kissing my forehead repeatedly in the same spot. It feels nice.

"I'm your mentor right Finnick?" I whisper.

"Yes but we don't need to talk about this Annie."

I shake my head and look up at him.

"If I'm your mentor... shouldn't I be talking to potential alliance members?"

Finnick sighs.

"I can handle it." He says.

"I know you can but-"

"Annie I don't want you to know." He says gently.

I look at him confused.

"Why?" I whisper and my eyes start to fill with tears.

"I just don't." He whispers and kisses my forehead.

I shake my head back and forth.

"Not good enough." I whisper.

He sighs.

"I know." He says and I remove my head from his chest and look at him confused.

"What?" I ask making sure I heard him correctly.

"I know it's not good enough." He brings my hand to his lips. "But that's all I want… no, that's all I can tell you."

I rest my head back down on his chest.

"I don't want you to die." I whisper.

"I don't want to die." He says and sniffles.

I wrap my arms around him tighter. At least I finally said 'die' in front of him. I don't think I could say kill but die is an improvement. He just didn't let me finish my thought.

_I don't want you to die without knowing your secrets._


	156. Chapter 156

**Chapter 156**

I'm waiting near the training area. I figure it doesn't matter besides this means I can see Finnick as soon as training is over. Escorts usually wait down here. Aries did tell me I can't go down tomorrow because of evaluations.

They should be out in ten minutes. I think he can leave early if he wants to.

I hear the elevator ding and think an escort came down here. Which is surprising. I didn't think any of the escorts would do that because we all have done this before.

I turn to the person and see the bright red chemically ridden hair. They are wearing a strange outfit that makes me think of a slave. She gets close to me and I see a scar on her lips.

She's an Avox.

Which means one of the victors probably wanted them to come down here after they were finished.

I look at the doors so I don't have to look at her. I don't like to look at the Avoxs mostly because they think I will be staring. I also don't like seeing how much they struggle when they swallow. I wonder what it would be like to never speak again. I also wonder how many secrets that have heard.

I see Bake come out of the training center and walk towards the women. He smiles at her and she smiles back.

I look at them strangely. I would think that this was an admirer but, the way he is looking at her, is the way I look at Finnick.

He kisses her cheek and she smiles. I wonder if Blake knows anyone else is here.

Blake meets my eye contact and backs away from her. Not before I notice she slips him a note.

_One day she just disappeared_

She's the girl. The one who he truly loves. He was right under his nose the whole time… I just wonder how long it took Snow to show him to her.

I see Finnick come out.

"Annie." He comes over and kisses me.

I hug him and lean into him.

"Did you do anything important today?" I whisper:

"Let's go upstairs and talk."

"Okay." I whisper.

We get the the elevator and so do Blake and the Avox.

We don't exchange words I think talking to the other victors, no tributes would just make everything harder.

The doors open and we walk out. We go to our room. I don't think Finnick wants to be in the common room anymore.

"So training?" I ask and he smiles.

"Some archery actually and taught Katniss how to tie some knots."

"Really." I say surprised.

"1 hour of rope lessons exchange for 1 hour of archery."

"But you couldn't hit the broad side of our door."

He smiles.

"I know." He says. He has no interest in learning archery. His only interest is talking to Katniss.

"Well you seem better than yesterday." I say.

"You too." He says and cups my left cheek with his hand. His thumb runs up and down my cheek bone.

"When do you have to leave." I whisper knowing he will have to. He takes his hand off my cheek and smiles.

"Not until real late. You'll probably be asleep." He says.

I nod.

"The evaluations are tomorrow… do you know what you're going to do?"

He scoffs.

"Does it matter?" He asks.

"Yes." I say confused.

"Annie the gamemakers already have preconceived connotations of all of us. I think if I just lied down I would still get a decent score. Besides, do you know how many admirers I have that would literally die if I did." He says.

I laugh awkwardly.

"Maybe there's one in this room." I whisper hoping he didn't hear. He hugs me and rests his chin on top of my head.

"You can't do that Annie. You're going to live on." He says.

I nod knowing he is correct.

"You've got to promise me that. Okay?" He says and looks at me very seriously.

"I promise Finnick Odair." I say and hug him again.

"Good." He whispers.

* * *

I don't know what Finnick did in his individual session but he got the same score he did when he was a tribute.

The rest is pretty much the same. People get the scores everyone expects them too. I don't even know why we're watching this.

"Now District 12 the star cross lovers!" Caesar exclaims and I roll my eyes. If only everyone knew that was a sham.

"Can we go to sleep?" I whisper to Finnick. I started asking around District Seven. I'm not really tired but I don't want to see people I know people who are my friends… sizing each other up.

"I want to see this." He says watching the screen intently. He seems to have been very focused this year. It's probably because he is a tribute. That fact is starting to sink in. That we both aren't mentors. I'm the mentor and he's the tribute. The roles have reversed.

"It looks like we have a record breaker this year in Twelve." Caesar smiles.

"You think they did bad?" I ask to the room.

Johanna is the current record holder for the lowest score but this year she got a respectable Nine.

"Probably I mean... what else could it mean?" Aries asks. None the less he sounds excited.

"Peeta and Katniss receive the score of 12!"

My eyes go wide. That is a record breaker.

"See what I said about a dead horse." I whisper to Finnick. We both know that everyone is going to go after them, if they weren't already. Being known as killing the best of the best would give you high praise. Then again being victor of the victors is praise enough.

Finnick scratches his head confused.

"Finnick you know I'm right." I say gently.

"I don't understand." He says.

"Yeah I wonder what they did... considering Peeta got a seven or eight last time."

Finnick nods and starts to bite his nails.

"Finnick." I say and rub his back.

He turns towards me and smiles.

"We can go to bed now." He says.

"Okay." I say confused.

He sits on the bed and continues to bite his nails. I've never seen him do it so much.

"You okay?" I ask and take his hand away from his mouth.

He nods.

"I just-"

"Wonder what they did?" I ask.

"Yeah." He says awkwardly.

"I do too. In all seventy five years that's never happened… do you think it's rigged?" I ask.

Finnick turns towards me confused.

"Why would you think that?"

"Well Katniss and Peeta are at a disadvantage they don't know any of us but with this… it's like a death warrant."

"I guess." He says.

"Besides, with everything that has happened since they won… I'd be surprised if they make it past day two."

"I completely agree with you." He says seriously. I lean into him as we lay down.

We don't talk Finnick just keeps moving his fingers up and down my back.

I look up and he smiles.

"So." I whisper.

"So?" He smiles and kisses the top of my head.

"Tomorrow is interview day… do you think you will be wearing… clothes?" I ask remembering his opening ceremonies outfit.

Finnick sighs deeply.

"I hope so." He whispers and kisses me.

* * *

"Good luck." I whisper into Finnick's skin. I'm not allowed to go down to watch the interviews. I have to stay in the room. I think they don't want all the victors getting together.

"Thanks." He whispers back and briefly kisses my lips.

"At least you look nice." I say. Finnick is dressed more causal although they have to show his chest. He has a v-neck t-shirt just like the ones Aries wears.

He smiles.

"There is that." He says.

"Finnickkkk!" I hear Aries screech from the common room.

"That's my cue." He says.

I smile.

"Good luck." I say again.

He leaves the room and I fall back on the bed and reach for the TV remote.

I hear cheers immediately. Then I see Caesar Flickerman with his pink hair this year.

"Thank you! Thank you for being here tonight on the eve of the 75th Hunger Games. We have never seen anything like this and we will never see anything like it again! Because tonight on this stage 24 of Panem's brightest stars will vie for the ultimate crown. Tonight will be the final opportunity to express their thoughts. Our final opportunity to express our love and heartbreakingly say goodbye… to all but one." You can hear lots of awes and even sobs come from the crowd as they are reminded that 23 of their favorite victors will be dead. "What a night! It's so exciting!" Caesar shouts suddenly not so upset.

Cashmere and Gloss' interview is strangely incestuous… I wonder if people in the Capitol like that... I wonder if they are a part of Snows deal.

I shiver. I couldn't do that with my brother or sister.

Enobaria and Brutus's interviews are scary. They talk about the 'good old days' and how they violently want to kill people. I shouldn't be surprised they are the only volunteers.

Caesar asks Wiress questions but she just keeps mumbling nonsense to herself.

The crowd cheers as she leaves and cheers again when Beetee is called onto the stage. I'm pretty sure they aren't favorites to win but it doesn't matter.

They exchange pleasantries. Beetee seems very cold.

"Beetee you have contributed so much to Panem over the years. I don't know who we'll miss more you or your brain."

"If the Quarter Quell were written into law by men certainly it can be unwritten."

"Yes interesting concept." Caesar says uncomfortable.

Is he saying what I think he is... that the games should change. I shiver he wouldn't be stupid enough to do that then again what else can he loose at this point.

They get my District.

"Alright now let's give it up for one of our early victors Mags Cohen." Caesar says. Mags walks out slowly with her cane. She won't be able to have that in the arena because it could be considered a weapon.

They discuss life and then get to a questions that startles me.

"You volunteered for our young Annie Cresta, why is that?" I'm surprised he asked this but I'm also angry that he implied the Capitol people own me.

Mags mumbles something that is hard to understand.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that." Caesar smiles.

"She's better." I make out.

"Very well." Caesar smiles confused.

Finnick smiles and walks onto the stage. He waves and blows kisses. I squeeze a pillow angry that he has to act like that.

Loud cheers erupt everywhere when he walks out. It I so loud I have to turn the volume down. I am somewhat stunned I know people love him but I just didn't realize it was this much.

"Here is a true treasure out of your victors! Finnick Odair." Caesar smiles.

"Thank you." Finnick smiles and winks at the screen. I groan involuntary.

"Now Finnick, I understand that you have a message for somebody out there. A _special_ somebody. Can we hear it?" Caesar says.

The crowd cheers louder they all probably think it is for them but I know that isn't true.

He looks directly towards the camera. He has a look of sorrow on his face. This... this is the real Finnick.

"My love, you have my heart for all entirety and… if I die in that arena my last thought will be of your lips." He says he looks like he is going to cry and I know that isn't acting.

"Oooh I wonder who this lucky person is. Care to tell?" Caesar asks.

Finnick smiles that fake smile he does so well.

"Trust me Caesar they know." He says and winks towards the screen. Many awes erupt from the crowd.

"Well there you have it!" He exclaims

"Finnick." I whisper. I wish I could be downstairs and not just watching it on tv. I know all the victors know he is talking about me.

Bleu and Jay don't really say or do anything memorable. The morphlings just nod and look off into the distant they make me a little uncomfortable by how checked out they are.

I don't recall ever meeting the male from seven. His interview doesn't really stick out.

Next is Johanna who already has a scowl like smile on her face. I wonder how this will go. I know she isn't happy about this well... none of us are but, she isn't going to hide her disgust. That isn't in her nature.

Caesar smiles but Johanna doesn't.

"We have seen a lot of tears here tonight but I see no tears in Johanna's eyes. Johanna you are angry." She scoffs. "Tell me why?" He says with a twinkle in his eyes.

Johanna laughs a little.

"Well yes I'm angry. You know I'm getting totally screwed over here. The deal was that if I win the hunger games, I get to live the rest of my life in piece." She looks directly into the camera. "But now you wanna kill me again." She smiles. "Well you know what... fuck that and fuck everybody that had anything to do with it!" She says. I can't help but smile that is Johanna and it is what everyone else is feeling.

"One women's opinion." Caesar says and wipes away some of Johanna's spit.

She doesn't bother staying on stage for the rest of her interview she just joins the rest on the stage.

Esmeralda talks about her home life and her hair and how she keeps the color contrast. It isn't very exciting but I'm sure talking about her hair will make her memorable in the Capitol.

Next is District Nine. That means Blake and Talia.

Talia walks out and looks sad and scared but I can also detect anger.

They start off with the usual conversation but then Caesar asks something he shouldn't. He should've known not to ask this especially since talking about her daughter is a sensitive subject. Blake said if I did talk about this to keep the questions general.

"Now Talia how proud do you think your daughter is feeling about you back home?"

Talia swallows hard and looks paler than she usually does.

"I think… I think she is wondering where I am. I think she is worried that I might not win." She says in a cold removed tone.

"Well I'm sure you will for her." Caesar reaches for her hand but she shoves it away.

Talia doesn't really answer anymore questions.

When Blake comes on and they talk about District Nine and if he has a special someone out there. His answer is vague saying he has lots of special someones. The audience loves that answer.

Ten and eleven make suggestions that this could be changed because the gamemakers originally didn't think everyone would fall in love with the victors

Then lastly it's Peeta and Katniss most of the audience is crying because they don't want this but I'm sure as soon as that gong comes off they will be singing a different tune.

Katniss walks off in something that looks like a wedding dress. This is probably because Katniss and Peeta were supposed to get married. However, she looks ridiculous.

"Now let's welcome the victor from last year! We know her as the girl on fire! Katniss Everdeen!" Caesar says and you can hear the cheers as she walks on stage.

"Katniss you look fabulous!" Caesar exclaims. The crowd agrees with cheers. "Katniss am I correct in assuming that this would've been the dress to your wedding?"

"Yes, President Snow thought everyone should see it." She says and I can detect anger.

"Well President Snow as usual was right." Caesar says and I roll my eyes. "Will you do us the honor and spin for us?" Caesar does and her outfit catches on fire. It's now a beautiful black dress that looks like a bird.

"It looks like a bird it has feathers." Caesar says impressed.

"Like a mockingjay." Katniss smiles. That was on her token for the gamed and I have also seen that symbol around District Four during riots...

"Your stylist has certainly out done himself! Cinna take a bow!" Caesar says and the camera flickers to him. Who has a serious look on his face. This wasn't an accident he knows what he is doing. He wants to start a spark.

Katniss smiles and then heads with the rest of the victors.

Peeta comes out wearing a white suit, maybe that is what people here wear at weddings.

Caesar and Peeta have the same banter as last year until it gets more serious.

"But Peeta the wedding… a marriage never to be." Caesar says sadly. I think he wanted them to get married the most.

"Actually we got married." He says causally and my eyes go wide and I sit up. No way in hell this is true. "In secret." He says.

"A secret wedding... do tell?" Caesar says confused and excited.

"We wanted our love to be eternal." You can hear awes erupt from the crowd.

"Of course." Caesar says with a smile.

He smiles.

"Katniss and I have been luckier than most." Pssh yeah right. I think. "And I wouldn't have any regrets at all if it weren't... if it weren't." Peeta says getting choked up. I wonder what he is going to say.

"If it weren't for what?" Caesar asks intrigued.

"If it weren't for the baby." Peeta says and you can hear the crowd roar between excitement and outrage.

The camera flashes to Katniss and her cheeks are red.

"This is news!" Caesar says trying to control the crowd.

I notice for a split second that Peeta looked to the side probably to his mentor and smiles slightly.

"He did that on purpose… to stop the games." I whisper. I obviously knew Katniss couldn't be pregnant because she doesn't love Peeta like that.

My television screen cuts out before anything else can happen.

A few minutes later I hear people and soon feel Finnick next to me. He lays next to me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Did you watch?" He asks and kisses my cheek.

"How could I not." I whisper and can tell Finnick is smiling.

"What did you think about the end?" He whispers and kisses my neck.

"That it was fake." I whisper.

"Okay." He says. This wasn't an answer he wanted.

"You don't think they'll cancel I mean-"

He sighs and rolls me over so I can see his face.

"Annie you know the answer already." He says gently and starts to run his fingers up and down my back.

I nod and lean against Finnick's chest. It quiet for a long time. I don't want to ask him about tomorrow. I can't believe the games start tomorrow.

My eyes well with tears.

"Finnick." I whisper as he continues to run his hand up and down my back.

"Yes?" He asks and kisses the back of my shoulder.

"You should sleep. Who knows how much of that you will get..." I trail off.

"I know." He kisses the back of my shoulder again. "But I don't want to." He whispers into my skin.

I turn so he is facing me.

He runs his fingers across my cheek then they find their way into my hair.

"I don't want to stop looking at you." He says. "I need to remember. For when I feel down in the arena. I need to remember your face."

"Why don't you just take a picture of me for your token?" I ask. I don't think he has one.

"It wouldn't be the same." He says and kisses my forehead.

"I know." I say.

He kisses my lips.

"What I said in my interview about your lips." He kisses them again. "I was telling the truth."

I run my fingers through his hair.

"I know you were." I say. He moves his fingers and starts to trace the outline of my lips. They quickly move into my hair.

I swallow hard.

"I love you Finnick."

"I love you too Annie." He kisses me. "I love you too."

I wanna look at him forever too.

"I love you...so much." I whisper.

He kisses my forehead.

"I know." He says and kisses me. I roll on my back and cup Finnick's face in my hands.

I kiss him. I feel like crying but don't. I'm surprised I'm not a puddle already.

He kisses me again and again and again. Until those kisses aren't enough.

* * *

I feel a tear roll down my cheek which Finnick soon kisses away. He knows he isn't hurting me. He knows why I'm crying.

"I love you," He whispers in my ear.

I nod.

"I love you too." I whisper.

It isn't desire running though our veins tonight. It's sorrow. It's goodbye.

Finnick cups my face with his hands and smiles. It's a broken smile. I'm sure his expression is mirroring mine.

From the look in his eyes I can almost hear what he isn't saying. 'I love you. I need you. I wouldn't be here without you. You're everything to me.'

When it is over there is no after glow. There is just sadness as two hearts are being shattered.

"I love you." Finnick whispers as he holds me close.

"I love you too." I whimper.

Finnick holds me as tears leak from my eyes.

I look up at Finnick and he smiles but it doesn't meet his eyes. His eyes are saying. 'I love you. This is goodbye.'

I do love him too but I don't want this to be goodbye. I can't have this be goodbye.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Annie." He whispers back.

**A/N: For the interview section most of the dialog is from the movie. Just disclosing that right now. Okay everyone thanks for reading! I'm glad you're still enjoying!**


	157. Chapter 157

**Chapter 158.**

I turn towards the clock.

_Too more hours_. I think.

I hear the shower turn on and roll over. I wonder how Finnick let go without waking me.

I think he fell asleep well, I hope he did. I know I didn't. I might have for thirty minutes but I mostly watched Finnick. I watched his chest rise and fall. I kept thinking that might stop soon. That his chest will just be still because he will be dead.

I shiver.

_You can't cry because it will make it harder for him_.

I hear the shower turn off and then hear him come into the room.

"Annie. He whispers.

"I'm awake." I say and sit up. I can tell he didn't sleep long.

He sits next to me and hugs me.

"You're okay." I whisper.

He breathes in and out deeply.

"I know." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"Okay." I whisper. I lean into his chest and can hear the distinct thumping noise of his heart. I swallow hard. I kiss the spot on his chest where his heart would be.

I hear a knock on the door and Finnick's grasp tightens.

"Finnick you need to head down in ten." Aries says gently.

He breathes in and out deeply.

"Let's go." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

"Okay." He says.

I take his hand and we walk slowly to the common room. I can't believe I'm actually leading Finnick to his death.

"You're okay." I say again.

"Finnick it has been great to know you." Aries says sadly.

"Wish I could say the same." I hear Finnick mutter.

Aries smiles then walks with us to the elevator.

Finnick keeps drawing circles on my hand.

We walk past the training center to the hovercraft.

Finnick holds out his left arm and a few minutes later he gets injected with his tracker.

"Annie." He whispers.

I rub his back.

"Yes?" I ask.

He breathes in and out deeply.

"I... there's so much I want to say but I can't find the words." He says.

"That's okay." I say and kiss his cheek.

He nods and the hovercraft starts to land.

I've never taken anyone down before. Walking down here is as haunting as it was the first time.

I head to the room that has a four above the door. We walk through the door and I see the table of food, the outfit bag, and the bench.

"I should get dressed" He says.

He does and when he is finished he comes back in a skin tight blue and black outfit.

I touch the material and it feels spongy. It reminds me of wet suits.

"I'm thinking there's going to be water." I say.

"I thought so too." He says. Then heads to the food table, he starts eating blindly.

"Not too much." I remind him and he sets his apple down. He then migrates to the bench.

He reaches for my hand which I happily take.

"Last time we were in here the roles were reversed." He says. He sounds very far away and I don't blame him.

"That's true." I say. I turn towards him and he is rocking back and forth slightly.

"Finnick it will be okay." I tell him not really believing myself.

"I know." He strokes my hair and doesn't say anything. I hold onto his hand which he is still drawing circles on.

"Annie make sure to go back to District 4." He says breaking the silence.

"But-"

" I am working with other districts so people will still be able to give me sponsor gifts." He says.

"But Finnick." I say worried.

"Annie please. Please don't stay here." He begs and is in the verge of tears. I don't really want to leave because I want to be the one to take care of him and make sure he has water and food or anything he needs. However, if Finnick is begging me to leave there must be a reason.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" I say already knowing the answer.

"Yes but, you already knew that." Finnick says and his eyes are filling up with tears.

"Finnick shhh." I hug him tightly and he buries his face in my shoulder. I can feel the tears falling from his eyes.

"I'll promise I'll leave if you promise me something." I whisper and Finnick looks up at me.

"What?" He asks.

"Promise me that you won't die."

He smiles.

"Of course." He says. I grip him tightly until we hear. Tributes to your tubes.

I walk Finnick to his tube. I hug Finnick and try to remember everything about him. How his body feels against mine, how he smells like a prefect sea breeze, the sound of his heart beating, his crooked teeth, how his nails are always bitten to a nub, his nice hair, how his flesh feels against mine, and those eyes that I could look into forever and feel safe.

Tribute to your tubes. The voice says again.

Finnick pulls me in and kisses me soft, with more passion than ever.

"Have any last words?" He says with a smile.

"I love you." I say holding in tears.

Finnick hugs me again and kisses my forehead.

"I love you too Annie." He stokes my hair. "Remember leave the Capitol. Go back to District Four." He whispers in my ear.

I nod. Finnick let's go of me and heads to his tube.

"Finnick wait." I say and he turns around.

"What is it Annie?" He asks.

"Just remember count to ten and let it all in then, put on that game face." I say the same words he did to me.

"Stealing my advice Annie tsk tsk." He smiles.

I hug him again and my breathing is uneven.

"Annie just remember I love you."

"You're talking like you're never going to see me again." I sniffle. "You're not going to break your promise are you?" I whisper barely keeping in the tears.

"Of course not Annie." He says and kisses me.

We hear the tributes to your tubes again and this time Finnick goes in. I put my hand on the glass. I mouth I love you and Finnick does too. Then the tube starts to rise and I see him disappear.

My eyes fill overflow with tears as the screens flicker on. Mentors don't have to stay because there really aren't enough people to make it worth it.

I don't even examine the arena. I just focus on the time clock.

"The 75th Hunger Games begin in 10-

"Count to ten and let it all in, then put on the game face." I whisper.

_9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 GONG_


	158. Chapter 158

**Chapter 158**

I grab one of the shiny glass rectangles and fumble on how to turn it on. Finnick said there would be one in here for me to take. I've only been given one of these once -what did Finnick call it? Tablet I think- and Finnick was in control of it and he can't assist me now. It is clear now that he never had any intentions of me staying in the hive to look after him. I still don't understand why.

I put the thing down in frustration. I need to figure it out so I can take it with me while I'm on the train or waiting at the train station. I have no idea if there will be feeds there.

I look back at the screen and focus of the arena now. It's a jungle with clear ocean water and a bright pink sky. I also see bright colors in the jungle which suggests poison. I hope Finnick went to the survival station because he will need it.

I see most of the tributes on their platform still. They probably can't swim. Which doesn't surprise me and you can't learn in the training center. Just one more disadvantage. This means Finnick has a great advantage. Mags can swim but, not as well because of her old age.

I see blood in some of the water already. What I can't see is Finnick. Which means he is probably alive. They always show tributes dying and since Finnick is important to the Capitol they wouldn't miss that.

The feed changes to the cornucopia where I can see Finnick. He has a trident already which doesn't surprise me he is also three feet from Katniss.

"Kill her." I whisper. I can't believe I'm thinking or saying these things but, I don't care about anyone else. I just care about him.

She turns towards him, arrow pointed read to fly. Read to kill him

"You can swim too, where did you learn that in District Twelve?" He asks her smiling.

"What are you doing!" I shout at the screen. He shouldn't be standing in front of Katniss with that cocky grin when she has an arrow pointed at him. With her being that close even I could kill him.

"We have a big bathtub." She says arrow still pointed.

Finnick shows a hint of confusion and so do I. I know we are both wondering how Katniss knows how to swim... considering the houses there... I wouldn't think she had a bathtub.

Katniss doesn't trust him but strangely Finnick trusts her. I remember his obsession of being in an alliance with her, but I don't think anyone filled Katniss in on this plan.

"You must." He says confused. "You like the arena?" He asks. I roll my eyes now is not the time for charm.

"Not particularly. But you should. They must have built it especially for you." She snarls.

I hear footsteps down the hall. I know I wouldn't be able to stay here for long. I take the glass and try to find the buttons but don't see any.

"Turn on!" I shout and the screen lights up. I guess it's voice activated. The feed is on and I start to walk from the room not taking my eyes from the screen.

Katniss and Finnick are now just staring at each other probably wondering if her arrow is faster than Finnick's trident.

I don't have the answer Finnick should've killed her when her back was turned. I'm slightly afraid but how vicious my thoughts have become. I'm probably thinking like a career right now.

I bump into numerous people because my eyes are still on the screen. The volume on this thing is surprisingly loud.

"Lucky thing we're allies. Right?" Finnick tries to say calmly but I can hear the worry in his voice. I just hope Katniss doesn't too.

It looks like Katniss is about to let go of that arrow when Finnick places his wrist closer to her face. He has a gaudy golden bracelet that I didn't notice before. That must be his token… but he told me he didn't have.

"Where did you get that?" Katniss asks intrigued and I can see her bow falter.

"Where do you think?" He smiles. "Allies?" Finnick asks again and his eyes are looking somewhere else.

"Right!" Katniss shouts.

"Duck!" He yells. Katniss ducks and Finnick throws his trident killing Jay. He goes over and takes it from his limp body.

"Don't trust One and Two." Finnick says. I'm surprised he actually has to say that out loud. Then again maybe Katniss isn't as familiar with the inner dynamics.

"Each take one side?" Katniss says as I get off the elevator. I head to the main lobby and look at the train schedule. One leave for Four in ten minutes. I should be able to get to the station in time.

"Anything useful." Finnick shouts to her. I can answer that, it's no. They only gave them weapons this year. For obvious reasons. There must be lots of food in the jungle but I get a twang in my stomach, knowing Finnick didn't go to the survival station.

Katniss and Finnick exchange something I can't really hear because I'm going to the train station and there are so many people.

When I get on the train I look back at the tablet and see Finnick, Katniss, Peeta, and Mags have all teamed up together and they are heading into the jungle. I wonder how they managed to get them. It doesn't matter Finnick is still safe.

Then a thought occurs to me. Finnick and Mags... I know he wouldn't kill her. She couldn't kill Finnick if she tried. Which means… she will probably sacrifice herself for him if it comes down to it.

I see Katniss scale a tree to look out probably to see the rest of the arena. They give a clear view of the cornucopia and the dead tributes.

"I knew all of you." I whisper and can feel the train start. I know they have a television somewhere but I'm not in the mood to look for it.

"What's going on down there Katniss? Have they all joined hands? Tossed the weapons in the sea I defiance of the Capitol?" Finnick asks while climbing down the tree.

"What are you doing!" I shout again and a train attendant comes in. Is he trying to piss her off so she will kill him or is he just plain stupid. I don't remember his arena because I was too young. But he was fourteen and he is now twenty four. He shouldn't be this stupid.

I wonder if he is just mad at the situation. Finnick is good at masking his emotions he wouldn't do this. Does he just have a death wish? Or does he want Katniss to grasp reality even though that might get him killed.

"You're acting stupider than usual." I mutter to myself.

"No." Katniss says with an edge in her voice.

"No because whatever happens in the past is the last. And no one in the arena was a victor by chance." He looks at Peeta. He doesn't have to say it but I think he will for Katniss. "Except Peeta."

Katniss is looking at Finnick like she is going to kill him again. She is probably thinking if she could get him before she got her. Peeta gets in the middle and I sigh in relief. At the rate of Finnick's stupidity he might not make it to day two. I wish I could send him something telling him that you're being an idiot but I can't. I know whoever he is working with won't do that. Just another reason why I should've stayed.

"How many dead?" Peeta asks.

"Maybe six I think... but they are still fighting." She says.

"We need water let's keep moving." Peeta suggests.

"Better find some soon. We need to be undercover when the others come hunting tonight." Finnick says. I can tell Katniss doesn't like his choice of words but that is what they are doing. Hunting to kill.

They look for hours but still nothing. I think they are about to give up when Peeta runs into something that isn't there. He falls back with force knocking Katniss over. She rushes over to him and leans her head on his chest. Probably checking for his heartbeat.

"Peeta!" She screams but nothing.

He must be dead.

_Good one less person to worry about._ I think.

I shake my head.

"What's wrong with you?" I whisper to myself. I am glad that people are dying. I know why because I will get Finnick back but I feel sick and twisted thinking this way.

I guess Finnick being alive is more important than my moral compass. I wonder if this is how my mother felt when she was watching me. I'll ask her when I get home. I'm afraid she will say no. Then I will just feel like a crazy, cynical, and inhumane person. Then again isn't it humane to want the person you love most to come back to you?

Yes. Yes it is.

**A/N: the part in the arena will have be heavily taken from the book catching fire. I don't know the rights just thought I should mention that.**


	159. Chapter 159

**A/N: Yeah the people who died in the blood bath might still be alive so tributes probably won't die in the order they did in the book. But don't worry the same people will make it to the end.**

**Chapter 159**

"He's not breathing! He's not breathing!" Katniss shouts.

She starts crying and before she can do anything I see Finnick push her out of the way. Katniss gets her bow and arrow. I think she is about to kill him but stops. She is looking at them in shock as Finnick gives Peeta CPR. I hope she knows he is trying to save his life and not end it. I don't think they use CPR much in district twelve.

They teach you how to do CPR by the time you are eight years old. Sure you are probably too small to actually save someone but it is a skill you need to know. Especially if you're going to be a fisherman.

I don't understand why Finnick is giving Peeta CPR. The object is to kill not save. I know Finnick is a good person but this is strangely out of character for him in the Hunger Games. If he saw someone on the beach needing assistance he would be the first on the scene. But he isn't home.

Even if he is doing this because Peeta is in the alliance, Finnick shouldn't be trying to save someone's life. It's too early to be saving your alliance members.

Katniss lowers her arrow and gets closer to Peeta and Finnick. She must have figured it out

After a minute or two you hear the slightest cough from Peeta. Finnick sits back relaxed.

"Careful." Peeta whispers. "There's a force field up ahead." Katniss smiles. Peeta seems alright seems like a good person. After almost dying you can't put on an act like that.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply. I can't think of him or the other tributes like that. It will only make things worse when they die.

"I'm alright though. Just a little shaken." He smiles.

"You were dead! Your heart stopped!" She yells but instantly regrets yelling. Probably remembering where she is. She starts sobbing and I don't really blame her for that.

"It seems to be working now." He smiles and then comes closer to Katniss. "It's alright Katniss." He says but she keeps on sobbing.

"Katniss?" Peeta says worried.

"It's okay. It's just her hormones." Finnick says. "From the baby." He adds. I almost forgot about the fake baby. Good thing Finnick did.

"No it's not-" She says confused. She isn't a very good actress but I'm sure the Capitol people won't notice.

She starts sobbing worse. I wonder if this is how I look and how I am when I sob around Finnick.

This all seems a little too genuine to be fake. I wonder...

I look at Finnick . Trying to see only thing I see though is that glint in Finnick's eyes when he is puzzled by something. I wonder what he is thinking. He shakes his head. Whatever he was arguing with himself he either figured out or it started to hurt his brain thinking about it.

"How are you?" He looks at Peeta. After getting CPR you aren't really capable of much you should stay in an immobile position and just relax but Peeta can't. He's in a death arena and I get the feeling Finnick isn't going to leave him. "Do you think you can move on?" Finnick asks.

Katniss disapproves but Peeta insists that he can, just slowly.

The screen changes and I hear someone screaming.

I wonder who's dying. I think.

I see the screen and don't need to see the persons face. The hair gives it away. The white hair with the poof tiffs and the red hair that is stick straight. They both sick out with the jungle background. It's Talia and Bleu.

Bleu throws a weapon at Taila but she misses and it hits the tree instead. It hit the tree so hard that something is starting to gush from the tree.

They are both distracted by this and a second later Bleu falls to the ground and her cannon goes off. After she goes down you can see her killer. It's Blake.

It looks like he fashioned some type of spear from a jungle stick. It was sharp enough to kill so I guess it doesn't matter. I don't think any of the three managed to get weapons.

I'm just surprised they can all swim.

I think back to Jay's arena. It was a fish bowl. He could swimso it makes sense that Bleu could but what about Blake and Talia.

He wouldn't kill her or would he?

"Get away from me!" Talia shouts. I guess she thinks he will. She starts to run away. But, Blake goes after her.

"Talia wait!" He shouts and keeps running. Talia trips and falls on a tree limb. Blake finally catches up to her and kneels next to her.

"Don't touch me!" She says when he is in front of her.

"Talia we should stick together. It's better than being alone. Also we could look for them together." He says gently.

Look for who?

"I can find Katniss by myself." She whispers.

Katniss? Do they want to kill her.

"I guess I'll just follow then." He says with a smile.

"I can't be around you because I won't kill you." She says and tries to walk away but he grabs her wrist.

"I won't kill you either and if we are together we might find them faster." He says.

"Fine." She says.

I'm still confused on why they want to find Katniss so badly. Does everyone want to kill her or something?

The camera changes and is showing the careers. It looks like Enobaria took an arrow from Katniss because she has a leg wound. I don't think she cares though. She just put some moss on it.

"We should find water, then look at night." Cashmere says.

"It probably won't take long to find water." Brutus says.

"Can't we just drink that water?" Gloss says pointing to the ocean. I can tell he clearly knows he can't drink that stuff.

"No dumb shit. All that salt will only make it worse." Cashmere says and rolls her eyes.

The camera changes again. It is back showing Blake and Talia. They are back at the place where Bleu died. They are examining the tree that squirted something.

Blake removes the knife and sniffs it.

"Well?" Talia asks.

Blake tries and makes the hole bigger with the knife. When he succeeds more liquid is falling out. I look at the tree tree. This tree is skinner than the rest. Whatever is coming from that tree they probably won't be able to access it in all the trees.

Blake leans in and is about to lick some of the liquid off the tree.

"It could be poison." Talia warns with disapproval.

"It doesn't smell like poison."

"Not all poisons smell Blake." She scolds.

"Well it's not like you know either."

She shakes her head and Blake sighs.

"If I die run away and hide. I think Katniss went off in that direction." He says gently and points to where she ran off. I still don't understand why they want to find her.

"Okay." Talia says. "What do you think it is?" She asks.

Blake doesn't answer he takes some from the small flow. He cups his hands and then swallows it. He makes a face.

"What is it?" Talia asks confused

"I… I think it's water." He says unsure.

"You think?" She asks and leans in.

"It tastes like it but... it is warm and almost disgusting but it is my best guess." He looks to Talia and she nods. He looks at her and smirks "Didn't get anything from the cornucopia either?" He says.

"Yes I-"

The feed changes to Mags, Katniss, Finnick, and Peeta.

They are all worried about not finding water. Looks like they didn't figure out it was in the trees. Then again it was only a lucky break that Blake and Talia figured it out.

They start to set up camp. Finnick and Mags start weaving and make a nice shelter. When Katniss comes back from hunting they use the force field to cook the morphed animal.

The anthem starts tp play and then show the dead tributes. I look away not wanting to know who is dead.

I look back at the screen and see that Finnick, Peeta, Katniss, and Mags are staring at a silver parachute.

Peeta opens it and it is a strange metal tube that is small at the end.

"What the heck is that?" I whisper.

I look out the train window and see it is pitch back. I just now realize how tired I am. I can't fall asleep. Knowing my luck that is when Finnick will die. I can't fall asleep. Not until I get home. Once I get home I can sleep because I know whoever I'm watching with will wake me when it's the time. They will wake me so I can see Finnick die.

I swallow hard.

I look back to the screen and see they now have water. That thing they got must have helped to get it.

They start to head to sleep and Katniss and Finnick stare off again.

"I can take first watch." Finnick offers.

Katniss nods. Which surprises me.

"Wake me when you're tired." She says and Finnick nods.

I think Katniss is starting to trust Finnick. I mean he did save Peeta's life. However, knowing Finnick this isn't a good thing. The closer he gets to these people the worse he will feel when he kills them and he will kill them. That is if he wants to come home.


	160. Chapter 160

**Chapter 160**

I hear a gong like sound that reminds me of an alarm. I look around the train but don't see anything. I turn back to the screen confused. I notice the screen is no longer showing the is showing Caesar Flickermen instead. He is probably going to explain the reason for the gongs.

"Hello, hello! Is everyone enjoying this years Hunger Games as much as me!" He laughs. "The gamemakers this year have been very clever, because this arena is not just a tropical jungle it is also a clock." He smiles.

_A clock?_ I think confused.

"There are twelve sections in the arena and starting from this moment it will be activated. Each new hour something new and exciting will be unlocked. Isn't that an impressive twist! Now let's get back to our tributes!" Caesar says and the screen flickers back. It is showing a tree that is being struck by lighting that must where the clock starts.

The screen flashes to the Careers arguing on what the bell means. Then they show other tributes. Most have set up camp. This arena is so small though. You could easily find people.

They keep flashing the screen between all the tributes nothing must be going on. I turn towards the clock see it is midnight. I won't get home until tomorrow.

I pick up the tablet and head to a bedroom. I lie in bed and pick up the alarm clock. I set it for thirty minute increments. I figure I won't miss that much if I keep taking naps. Besides, since it is night I know the careers will be killing.

I turn the volume up all the way and close my eyes. Surprisingly I find sleep.

* * *

_BEEP BEEP BEEP._ I hear and jump awake. I see it has been an hour rather than thirty minutes.

I reach for the tablet and look at the top left corner and see no one has died since I dozed off which means Finnick is still alive.

I sigh in relief.

I mess with the alarm clock to make sure I have it right when I hear a cannon go off.

It's hard to see what is going on in the arena because of the rain falling from the sky. It is coming down in sheets.

"Why is it red?" I whisper.

I hear a growl and know that is Johanna. I also see two other people. Wiress and Beetee. She is pretty much dragging Beetee He must've gotten hurt. That's not what is puzzling me though. She dislikes them. She really just can't be around them because she finds Beetee arrogant and annoying. Which I can agree on. And she finds Wiress annoying because she is always mumbling madness that only Beetee can understand.

They aren't the best people to team up with. I'm actually surprised they are still alive.

"Hurry up!" Johanna yells. She makes a strange face and then spits something out.

I swallow hard.

"It's not rain… it's blood. Just like in my nightmares." I whisper.

If I was with Johanna right now I would be having a panic attack. No if I was in that arena right now I would be dead.

I roll over and stare at the wall I want to fall asleep but after seeing blood fall from the sky I really don't think I can.

I run my hands up and down the sheets. I don't know how long it has been before I hear screaming.

I look towards the screen and see it was Katniss.

"Run! Run!" Katniss shouts. I see fog is coming towards her. Judging from the bumps on her hand I would guess poison.

Finnick snaps up, trident in hand, probably thinking an attacker was what called him awake. When he sees it is fog he knows better to ask questions. He picks Mags up and starts to run.

At first I think he stopped caring about Peeta and Katniss but he suddenly stops and starts shouting for them to run and to follow his voice.

I'm too tired to keep guessing why he wants to keep them alive. He technically wouldn't be murdering them if he left them to the fog.

Peeta keeps stumbling until he falls down. They zoom in on him and it looks like his face is melting off. I wonder what the fog does.

Peeta keeps falling down until he can no longer get up.

Finnick is close to them and is assessing the situation. He drags Peeta along but soon stops.

"It's no good. I'll have to carry him. Can you take Mags?" Finnick asks. I can hear the desperation in his voice. What if Katniss says no. Mags can't out run this.

_Would he leave Mags for Peeta?_ I think

I scoff.

Finnick wouldn't... no Finnick couldn't do that.

"Yes." Katniss says.

I watch them take off running again. I look at their limbs and can tell this fog is messing with their nerves. I hope they will be okay for the rest of the time. If they can't walk then they are sitting ducks.

I see Katniss fall once, twice, then three times. After the third time it becomes apparent that she can no longer carry Mags.

Finnick is standing right next to her now. How can someone so lazy be so fast?

"It's no use. Can you take them both? Go ahead, I'll catch up." Katniss says hopeful although I get the felling she knows the answer.

Finnick shakes his head.

"No. I can't carry them both. My arms aren't working." He says. I noticed that. They are flailing around.

This must be when the alliance ends.

"I'm sorry Mags. I can't do it." Finnick says sadly.

Is he really going to leave her? That woman is a second Mom. She was always there for him. Always. They have a nice bond. He wouldn't just abandon her for complete strangers. He couldn't do that.

I look at the screen and notice he doesn't have to. Mags kisses him and walks walk towards the wall of fog. I can feel my chin tremble.

"Mags." I whisper as her cannon goes off and a single tear rolls down my cheek.

_Why would she do that?_ I think.

Maybe she knew she was going to die anyways and didn't want to prolong it. Maybe she thought it would be better if Finnick was just with Katniss and Peeta. She knew Finnick wouldn't kill her. I guess it makes sense but I get a strange feeling. Like when you can't scratch an itch. It is annoying and burning. I get the feeling something else is going on.

I wish I would've talked to Mags more before the arena. I wish I would've said goodbye to her. I spent so much time with Finnick that I pretty much rided her off.

I grab the pillow next to me and smush it to my chest to make it feel like someone is hugging me because that's all I want. A hug.


	161. Chapter 161

**Chapter 161**

After finally processing that Mags has died I look back to the screen. I can feel my throat getting tight as I see Katniss, Peeta, and Finnick lying on the jungle floor. The fog is coming at them at a slow steady pace but, their nerves are probably too damaged for them to continue on.

This must be where they all die. Including Finnick.

I swallow hard. I almost want to look away from this. I knew that his chance of dying was high but, knowing that and seeing it is different. I also thought my Mom would be with me when he died maybe, just because I would want her to comfort me. I didn't want to be on a train alone. I can feel my eyes sting with tears already. I blink rapidly trying to keep them in. I want to have a somewhat clear vision when Finnick dies, maybe I just want to see the light leave his eyes.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply.

When I open my eyes I see it is two minutes till three. That should mean the fog will go away. That's what happened with the lighting and the blood rain.

"Come on." I say looking at the clock and the screen. The fog is getting closer and closer. "Come on." I whisper again. The fog is almost right in front of them when it starts to hit an invisible wall.

I see a new hour has come.

"Thank god." I whisper.

They make it back to the beach by the cornucopia they are out in the open but, it's not like they had much choice on where to go. I think getting out of the jungle was the best option.

Katniss soon figures out that the water gets out the fog. Peeta does this as well but, Finnick backed away as soon as the water touched his skin. It either hurts too much or he doesn't really care, which could mean he is dying.

I swallow hard.

Finnick is just lying there staring at the pink sky.

After Peeta and Katniss are finished they head over to Finnick who I think has passed out. They start to use shells and handfuls of water to get rid of the fog.

Finnick eventually starts moaning and Peeta and Katniss slowly move him into the water. You can see the water turn a milky white around him. I think out of the three Finnick got the worst. He is the biggest maybe that is why.

"There's just your head left Finnick. That's the worst part but, you'll feel much better after, if you can bear it." Peeta says gently causing me to smile. Peeta seems like a genuinely good person which makes my heart sink because I know he probably won't make it with that character trait.

Peeta goes to get water and Katniss stays on the beach with Finnick who is underwater. This will probably make him feel better and not because it is getting rid of the fog. I can tell he is doing better when he starts doing his "showy" swimming moves.

He pops his head out of the water so he is next to Katniss. He smiles.

"Don't do that." She says annoyed.

"What? Come up or stay under?" He teases and I roll my eyes.

"Either. Neither. Whatever." She sighs. "Just soak in the water and behave. Or if you feel this good, let's go help Peeta." She says.

After a few minutes they do go after Peeta. However, when they reach him things don't look good.

Monkeys, monkeys are everywhere. These don't look normal. They're too big and look too menacing. They have got to be part mutt. I wonder if this is the new threat of the hour. If that were true why wouldn't they attack them on the beach? From what Caesar said he made it seem it was automatic. The gamemakers wouldn't or probably couldn't turn off the next terror besides, who would want to miss this trio dying.

Finnick and Katniss must have noticed the monkeys as well.

"Peeta. " Katniss says gently. As soon as they 'trigger' these monkeys I get the feeling it will be the fog all over again.

"I've just about got it. You got that spiel?" Peeta says still unaware of the threat.

"I do. But, we found something you should take a look at." Katniss says evenly.

I notice Finnick looking around and see his mouth moving slightly. I know what he's doing. He's counting them. There are so many maybe, he is considering his odds, Finnick's brain is probably not a hundred percent yet and he has never been good with statistics.

"Okay." Peeta says slightly confused. He does and starts to walk over but, he hits something and the monkeys attack. They react as if Peeta set a bomb off.

The three of them start to attack the monkeys but, it seems as soon as they kill one another just shows up. I wonder if this has to do with the 'threat'.

They keep up a good rhythm together until Katniss runs out of arrows.

"Peeta my arrows!" She shouts because he was holding some for her.

Peeta is about to comply with her request but one of the monkeys goes right for his chest. Katniss tries to hurtle herself at Peeta, probably to protect him. I would do the same for Finnick. I don't think she is going to make it.

I wonder if Katniss will stay with Finnick if Peeta dies. It is still better for her to have someone. I don't think she wants to fight Cashmere, Gloss, Enobaria, and Brutus alone.

It happens so fast that I'm confused when I see Peeta get tackled to the ground. I know it wasn't Katniss because she is still a few feet from him.

They show the thing and I can't tell if it is a creature or a person. I think it is a person just in camouflage. The camera zooms in more and I can tell it is the female morphling. The monkey cut her chest. The cut that was meant for Peeta… I'm confused about this as well. Maybe she was going through withdrawal and thought it would be better if she saved someone because she didn't have the will to live any longer.

The monkeys disappear because the hour is up. Katniss and Peeta drag her back to the beach with Finnick as their guard.

They make it back to the beach and Katniss rips open the morphlings jumpsuit. You can see her injuries and it is obvious she is going to die. The sign that she was gasping for breath wasn't really helping my case.

"I'll keep watch." Finnick says and walks back to the tree line.

Peeta is telling a story of how hard it is to paint a rainbow because they fade very quickly. The morphling likes this. Peeta doesn't stop talking until her cannon goes off. I'm starting to like Peeta more and more. If Finnick doesn't make it back I hope Peeta is the victor. However, he isn't a killer which means that is as likely as me winning.

Finnick comes back and hands Katniss her arrows.

"Thanks." She smiles as he sits next to her. Finnick just nods as a response.

They all look exhausted and are looking at the jungle as if a new threat will come out at any second. If they stay there, they shouldn't have to worry, if this whole clock thing is true.

They all start to itch at their skin. The fog probably did that but, it means their wounds are healing.

"Don't scratch it will bring infection." Katniss says. I see the expression on Finnick's face and know he wants to groan and make some sarcastic comment but, he knows better. Katniss isn't me. Besides, they are fighting to the death, now is not the time to be sarcastic.

"Why don't you two get some rest? I'll watch for awhile?" Katniss says.

"No. Katniss, I'd rather." Finnick says and looks to the ground awkwardly.

"Finnick." I whisper. He wants to watch alone probably so he can think about Mags. Probably so he can cry.

Katniss nods.

"All right, Finnick, thanks." She says and lies next to Peeta.

I keep going in and out of sleep, most of the tributes are sleeping. I haven't seen the careers hunt much, maybe the clock has gotten to them as well.

They show all the tributes at various times. Whenever the camera is on Finnick he is looking at the water and rubbing his eyes. They keep showing him crying.


	162. Chapter 162

**Chapter 162**

I wake up and see it is six in the morning. I should be back in Four by eight maybe nine. I just hope everything is okay back home. When I left, I felt something bad would happen. I felt uncertainty. Then again that could've just been because I thought I would never see Finnick again.

I turn on the tablet and don't see much. I notice Finnick is catching shellfish and that he has made a type of shelter for Katniss and Peeta more like an umbrella. He also gathered a decent amount of water. He can't slow it down. His thoughts. He's trying to find a distraction but, in that arena I don't think he will find one. He usually doesn't. He usually just leans against me until he falls asleep. I know he wants that especially sine Mags is…

I shake my head. I don't want to come to terms with another dead person. People being murdered seems to be happening every month. I'm still not used to it. I hope I never become used to it.

I don't know what happened after the monkeys but, from looking at Finnick, Katniss, and Peeta's camp it looks like a lot of nothing. It looks like Finnick just guarded and tried to keep busy.

The camera flashes to Blake and Talia. They look bad. Tired and sweaty.

"Twenty minute break here?" Talia says and leans against a tree. She is breathing heavily.

"Sounds good." Blake says and they sit. He starts working at a tree probably to get water. All they have is that small star shaped weapon. I see Blake has made a few more jungle weapons. Sharpened sticks and what not.

I start to hear a clicking noise. At first I think it is the train on it's tracks but, I then realize it is coming from the television screen.

"Talia I was thinking-

"Shut up." Talia says with force. Blake looks at her strangely.

"Talia-"

"Don't you hear that clicking?" She whispers.

"It's probably just the cicadas." Blake says gently.

I wonder what a cicada is. Maybe those are the insects that are making the strange noises. They must have them in District Nine. I know we don't have them in Four.

"No it's different… this sounds more haunting." She whispers.

Blake stops and closes his eyes. Then a crab appears.

"Don't worry Talia it was just a crab." Blake whispers.

But she doesn't say anything.

"Talia?" He says again and looks towards her.

"We aren't on the beach." She says confused.

"Maybe crabs like to go inland. We could ask Finnick if we find him."

"I mean if you think we'll find him." Blake says.

"Shh." Talia says terrified.

There are more crabs, probably thousands. They zoom in on one. It is no normal crab it is a mutt. Talia and Blake aren't from District Four, they probably don't know sea animals. They probably don't know these aren't usual. The crabs look normal in size and color but, they have fur on their legs, arms, and, claws. They look like they have been cross bread with a spider.

"I don't think these are normal crabs Blake." She whispers.

"Well what do you think?" He asks and they have both become very still. I'm betting this is a new section of the clock.

"Don't move." She says.

They are starting to surround them.

There are other tributes in the distance and tumble right through causing the crabs to let out a high pitched howl.

"Run!" Talia shouts.

They do. They run very fast and very far but, the crabs don't stop charging. I notice some of them can shoot thorns. I'm guessing posion.

Talia is starting to slow down.

"Talia keep moving." Blake encourages. He grabs her hand and starts dragging her through the jungle. They run for probably an hour before the crabs disappear and when they do Blake and Talia lie down.

"We should get some water." Talia breathes heavily.

"You want me to do it?" He asks.

"No I can." She says and takes the star shaped weapon.

"You think we should make camp here?" Blake asks.

"Maybe for a few hours." Blake says and she nods.

Talia cuts the tree and gets a stream of water but a crab was still looming in the area. It shoot a poison thorn that lands in her forearm.

"Ouch." She says.

Blake comes rushing towards her.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She covers the injection.

"Nothing." She says "I'm just afraid."

Blake hugs her "It's okay Talia." He says.

Then Caesar comes on the screen.

"Those crabs were genetically engineered by the Capitol. They shoot poison webs and darts. The darts are lethal and will cause a painful death which is what will happen to the beautiful Talia."

They go back to the arena and I want to smash the TV set. The fact that he just said 'the beautiful Talia' makes me want to scream. I feel sorry for her because she probably knows this and isn't telling Blake so he won't worry.

The camera flashes to Katniss, Peeta, and Finnick. It looks like one of them got a sponsor gift for medicine.

They look an awful green color.

Finnick looks Katiss up and down.

"What?" She asks confused. Holding out the medicine bottle.

"It's like you're decomposing." Finnick says. He starts to rub it onto his soars and I can tell he feels more relaxed.

Katniss smiles.

"Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven't looked pretty." Katniss smiles. I see his lips twitch at the statement.

"It must be. The sensation is completely new. How have you managed it all these years?" Finnick says and I smile. I wonder if Katniss knows he is kidding or not. It is pretty obvious but, she might be blinded from her distrust and possible hatred towards him.

"Avoid mirrors. You'll forget about it." Katniss says.

"Not if I keep looking at you." Finnick replies.

The screen returns to Blake and Talia.

"Do you want to take a break?" He asks her

"We have to keep moving. I think people are close." She says but is gripping her arm. Gripping the place where she got injected.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I think I'm just dehydrated."

"I can get more water." He says.

"We should only stay for twenty minutes Blake."

He nods and they do. They keep walking. Talia is wincing and keeps gripping her side and forearm. After thirty minutes Blake suggests to stop again.

"We should stop again." Blake says.

"No." She says.

"But-"

"If I say I can go, I can go Blake." She says angrily.

He looks at her carefully.

"Okay" he says.

They keep walking.

"I wonder if this is what Four looks like, maybe Finnick feels right at home." Blake says. He is trying to make Talia feel better. "What do you think Talia?"

Talia starts coughing.

"Talia?" He says and looks back at her.

"I'm fine." She says

"No, you're not." He says.

"Yes-" but she throws up on him and looses her balance.

He catches her and lays her down.

"Talia." He looks at her. He moves her hair out of her face. "Did something happen to you?"

"No." She says out of breath. "Ahhh." He says.

"Talia where does it hurt?" He asks concerned

"No. I'm fine." She says.

"Talia." He says. He grabs her wrist and pulls up her sleeve, which shows the injection mark.

"Oh my god Talia what happened to you."

"It's nothing I'm fine." She coughs.

"Talia." He pulls up her sleeve and her whole arm veins are now black.

He looks at her.

"One of the crabs shot a poison dart in me." She says.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks.

"I didn't want you to worry."

"Talia." He says and kisses her forehead.

"I'm going to be okay." She says but I can tell she doesn't believe it.

"Yes you will." He says.

Her face is contorted into pain and she closes her eyes.

"Ahh."

"Shhh it's okay Talia." He says and strokes her hair.

"I know." She swallows hard.

"Good."

"You're okay." He tells her. She is clenching her jaw maybe to keep her from screaming. Caesar did say it was painful.

She coughs and throws up blood. She starts to scream in pain.

"Talia?" Blake whispers in a soothing tone.

"What?" She says breathlessly.

"Do you want me to make the pain stop?" He asks gently. He is asking if she would rather die fast without pain or continue the agony.

"No I can't let you do that." She says.

He nods. I think that would traumatize him. Even though he might not live that much longer. He might not be able to deal with it.

Talia groans in pain.

"Shh it's alright Talia."

She screams in agony and then starts whimpering.

"Try and find them okay?" She says. I wonder who she means.

"I will, you have my word Talia."

"I'm scared." She says.

"Don't be."

"But-

"I want you to close your eyes Talia." He instructs and she does.

"Think of everything good that has happened to you in your life and remember all of it right now." Blake says.

"Eighth birthday, sixteen, first kiss, first boyfriend, meeting Neil, wedding day, day Charlotte was born" She smiles but soon scrunches her faces in pain. Blake strokes her hair. "The creek." She opens her eyes. "You being there for me or just you."

Blake smiles but he looks like he is holding in tears.

"I liked being there for you too. Now remember all of it Talia and keep your eyes closed. Try to envision the memories. "Okay?"

"Okay." She pauses and winces in pain. "Blake?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you too Talia." He says and kisses her forehead "Now close your eyes and think about all of that."

She nods and closes her eyes. He turns to get there stuff and takes out one of the sharpened sticks. He's going to kill her because he doesn't want to see her like this any longer. Having her thinking of happy memories is nicest. It will make it seem more peaceful.

"What are you thinking about Talia?" He asks gently.

"Neil and Charlotte." She says

"And how much you love them?"

"Yes. It is like nothing else." She smiles.

"I'm sure it is Talia." Blake says and I can tell he is crying.

She winces in pain again.

"And I'm sure Neil loved you more than air. I know Charlotte does."

"He did." She smiles "Even if it wasn't forever it was the best feeling and I loved him-"

Her cannon goes off because Blake stabbed her in the chest. He leans over her and starts crying.

"I couldn't see you in pain anymore Talia." He says and kisses her forehead.

He holds her and is crying but, they soon cut away.

I don't know which is worse that Blake had to kill her or that the Capitol murdered her.

* * *

The train slows and I run off it. I head straight home. I don't get a good look at what's around me. I just bolt for the front door.

I open it and slam it shut. I am breathing heavily. I didn't realize I ran here.

I hear footsteps and assume it is my Mom. I can hear the games on in the background. Of course I can, you can't turn your television off when you watch the games. Most of the population watches in the square, well are _forced_ to watch in the square.

"Annie, sweetie what are you doing here?" My Mom asks and hugs me. I'm confused at this statement but, then remember I'm not supposed to be home while the games are being played. I'm supposed to be locked up in the hive.

"Finnick wanted me to go home and I was allowed to leave because not all victors were there."

She nods and kisses my forehead.

"Wouldn't you want to stay there, take care of him?" She asks confused.

I swallow hard.

"Yes but, it was Finnick's request and he was almost sobbing when he asked me."

She nods and smooths my hair.

"Let's go to the living room." She says and we do.

I sit on the couch and my Mom sits next to me. She puts a blanket on me.

"Thanks." I whisper.

She kisses my forehead.

"No problem sweets."

I nod.

"How was the train? Were you by yourself?" She asks and I nod.

"Not as bad as it could've been. I guess it was because I was too focused on Finnick." I say.

She nods.

"Well, he's still alive."

"For now." I say.

"Don't think like that Annie." She says. I lean my head against her shoulder.

"I know." I say and breathe in and out deeply. "But, I can't help it."

She doesn't say anything. She just wraps her around my shoulder.

"Mom?" I say.

"Yes, sweets."

"Do you… do you think it's weird people want to either kill or find Katniss?" I ask.

She turns and looks at me strangely.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing." She kisses my forehead. "You're just smart Annie."

"For noticing people want to kill someone?" I ask confused.

"No, that's not why." She says.

"Care to elaborate on that?" I ask.

She shakes her head.

"No."

"Mom-"

"I can't Annie."

I make a growling moan sound.

"I'm tired of hearing that. Finnick, you, and everyone else. What aren't people telling me?" I ask.

"Let's just turn to the screen and watch. You never know what you might see or hear." She says and I look at her strangely.

I turn to the screen and hear screams of joy.

"Finnick!" I see that those screams belong to a blood covered Johanna. I see she didn't manage to kill Beetee or Wiress. I must say I'm impressed.

I see Finnick and Johanna talking but, I notice Katniss and Peeta have not joined their little party. It makes sense though. Finnick and Johanna are friends and Johanna isn't the most likeable person, if I was Katniss I would run away.

"What now?" Katniss asks Peeta.

"We can't really leave Finnick." Peeta says making a smile appear on my face.

"Guess not. Come on then." Katniss says. I can tell Katniss doesn't really like this but, if Peeta thinks it is okay I guess she does too.

They make their way to the crowd and Katniss finally realizes who else is there.

"Wiress and Beetee?" Katniss looks towards Peeta confused.

"I've got to hear how this happened." Peeta says and then paces towards them

"We thought it was rain because of the lighting you know. We were all so thirsty but, when it started to come down it was blood. Thick, hot blood. You couldn't see or speak without getting a mouth full. We just stumbled around trying to get out of there. That's when Blight hit the force field."

"I'm sorry Johanna." Finnick says gently. I know he means it.

"Yeah, well." Johanna mumbles. "He wasn't much but he was from home." Finnick nods. "Then he left me with these two." She says and I can hear the annoyance. "Beetee got a knife in the back at the cornucopia. And her-" She motions her head towards Wiress. I can tell she is annoyed. So annoyed that I think she might just kill her.

"Tick tock, Tick tock." Wiress mumbles.

"Tick tock?" I whisper. "She knows." I say to my Mom.

"Knows what?" She asks.

"That it's a clock. She knows." I say.

"That appears to be true."

"She's smart I shouldn't be surprised." I say and my Mom nods.

"Yeah, yeah. Tick tock." Johanna complains.

"Tick tock!" Wiress shouts with glee and starts to head to Johanna. Johanna pushes her down.

"Just stay down will you?" She says annoyed. She's going to end up killing someone.

"Lay off her!" Katniss shouts.

Johanna smiles and walks over to her axe in hand. I think she might just kill Katniss on the spot.

"Lay off her?" She says through clenched teeth. "Who do you think got them out of the bleeding jungle for you? You –" She then gets carried away by Finnick. He literally throws her over his shoulder. He keeps dunking her in the water but, you can still hear her insults.

"What do you think she meant?" I turn towards my Mom.

"About what?" She asks confused.

"What Johanna said about getting them Beetee and Wiress for Katniss."

"Maybe she wanted to."

"Johanna wouldn't be with them she would rather kill them." I say.

She nods.

"Mom-" I say annoyed.

"Maybe she didn't have a choice Annie. Maybe, something else is going on that we're not seeing." She says gently.

"Something else?" I ask confused.

"As I said, maybe we should be watching a little closer."

I turn and look at her confused.

"You know don't you?" I ask slightly angry.

"What?" She asks confused.

"Why they all want to be with Katniss. You know." I say and this time it isn't a question.

She smiles.

"No, I don't". She says but, she isn't looking me in the eyes. She's looking at my forehead. She is giving me the illusion of eye contact. It took me a while to figure this out. I do know she only does this when she is lying.


	163. Chapter 163

**Chapter 163**

They figure out it's a clock and Finnick wants to head to the cornucopia to make sure. Probably so he can get a better view or something.

Finnick and Johanna get more weapons when they arrive and Peeta starts drawing a map. A map of the arena, a map of the places where they know the terrors.

The screen flickers to Cashmere, Gloss, Enobaira, and Burtus.

"Look." Enobaira growls.

They all follow her gaze.

"Lambs to the slaughter." Cashmere says. Looking at the cornucopia. She has a very evil smile. It makes my skin crawl.

"Wait, there's more of us than them." Gloss protests.

"Wiress and Beetee don't really count. I'm surprised Beetee's still alive what with the knife I threw at him during the bloodbath. This only leaves Finnick, Johanna, Katniss, and Peeta. Four against four." Brutus says.

"I think we can take Peeta out easily. The rest it will be a fair fight." Enobaira says.

"A fight we will win." Cashmere smiles.

"Besides if we get out Peeta, Katniss might do our job for us." Enobaira smiles.

They start to head to the water. The other group of six are still talking about the clock. They don't even notice them until Gloss slits Wiress' neck. He goes down instantly from a bow in his skull. Katniss didn't skip a beat. I remember Gloss saving me from Cynthia. He was a good person. My throat is getting tight.

"I can't watch this." I whisper and stand up and head to the kitchen.

"Annie." My Mom says confused.

"Just tell me if Finnick…"

She nods.

I pick at the tabletop, hoping that nothing has happened to Finnick

"Annie." I hear my Mom say after a few minutes.

"Finnick?" I say and automatically my legs start working.

"No the fighting has stopped."

"How can you be-" I understand how she can be so sure. The cornucopia is spinning rapidly. I see Cashmere and Gloss died because their limp bodies fly off.

I think the cornucopia started spinning because they figured out it's a clock. If they're disorientated it will be harder for them to tell what time it is and what section is activated. The gamemakers don't want this to be easy. So they can't have them figuring out there design just yet.

They get off the cornucopia after a few minutes after it starts spinning. I notice Finnick tied his shirt around his upper thigh. He must've gotten injured. I hope it isn't serious.

Once they get back on the beach they all fight on which way to go. They eventually decide it doesn't matter because there is no logical way to know which section is activated. They figure once the big wave hits they will know what time it is and know where to stay.

"We should get water." Johanna barks.

"I'll go." Peeta offers.

"No it's my turn." Finnick says. I think he just wants a brief moment alone.

"I'll at least watch your back." Peeta says.

"Katniss can do that we need you to make another map. The other washed away." Johanna says and slams a leaf in his hand.

"Okay." Peeta says.

Finnick goes to get water and Katniss follows as his guard.

"You feel okay?" Finnick asks Katniss. She did fall in the water and is probably as dizzy as the rest. Katniss doesn't answer though. It looks like she is thinking of something really hard. "Katniss." Finnick says worried and looks back at her.

It looks like she's about to answer when you hear someone cry. It's loud. It's bone chilling.

"Help me!" The voice calls out.

It effects Katnnis instantaneously. She runs off not caring that Brutus and Enobaria could be right there hiding. Not caring that she is leaving Finnick unprotected. Maybe, she just wants to save the person. It's sounds like they are young.

"Katniss help me!" The voice screeches again.

"Katniss! Katniss where are you going?" Finnick yells and goes after her.

The screams are getting louder.

"Prim! Prim!" Katniss shouts and is looking for the source of the screams.

"Wasn't that her sisters name?" I ask my Mom.

"I think so." She says.

"You don't think she's... in the arena, do you?" I ask frightened.

"I don't think so Annie." She says unsure.

"Prim! Prim!" Katniss shouts and her gaze follows a bird. It resembles a crow but, is somehow different.

Katniss raises her bow and shoots the thing. It goes down and so do the pleas for help.

"It's a jabberjay." My Mom says.

"What, from the dark days?" I say.

She nods.

"I thought they got rid of them after the rebels figured out how to use them."

"They could always make more Annie." She says.

I nod.

Katniss vigorously grabs her arrow from the mutt just as Finnick catches up to her.

"Katniss, you okay?" He asks confused. I wonder if he heard the screams or if just Katniss could. Maybe this is a new section of the clock. But, what would the purpose be if only one person can hear the screams.

"Yeah." She says shakily. "I thought I heard my sister but-"

She gets cut off by a loud high pitch scream. It's terrifying. It's loud and it frightens me. Not because of the scream and its intensity. It's because the voice, those screams, belong to me.


	164. Chapter 164

**Chapter 164**

"Finnick!" I hear myself scream. It's loud it's bloodcurdling. I wonder if this is how I actually sound or if they intensified it.

"Annie! Annie!" I hear him shout frantically and see him trample through the jungle.

"Finnick, wait." I hear Katniss say but it doesn't matter. He's not stopping. He's not stopping until he finds my bird.

"Finnick." I whisper.

He has a deranged look in his eyes and keeps shouting my name over and over again.

"Annie!" I hear him shout again.

"Help me! Finnick" I hear.

"Annie! Annie!" He shouts again. He is spinning in circles and gripping his trident.

"I'm right here." I whisper and a tear rolls down my cheek. "I'm safe."

Finnick runs very far and is shouting my name the whole way. I'm surprised no one has found them. Finnick is shouting my name desperately and he isn't going to stop until he finds my bird.

My bird must be far far away.

"Finnick!" I hear louder this time. Finnick stumbles close to a tree. The tree where my bird is.

"Annie! Annie!" Finnick shouts and starts circling the tree waving around his trident like a deranged man. "Annie! Annie!" He shouts again.

They change the shot, it's now showing Katniss. She doesn't try to stop Finnick from shouting my name or circling the tree like a crazy man she starts climbing a tree. A nearby tree.

They show Katniss and you can still hear Finnick shout my name. Katniss pulls out an arrow and let's it fly. My bird goes down and lands right at Finnick's feet.

Finnick looks at it curiously. He picks it up by the arrow and turns it over. His face suddenly becomes pale.

Katniss jumps down from the tree and goes to Finnick.

"It's alright Finnick. It's just a jabberjay. They're playing a trick on us. It's not real. It's not your… Annie." Katniss says. I can tell she is confused as to who the mysterious Annie he was calling out for. If she was a victor longer she wouldn't need to ask. She would know.

"No, it's not Annie. But the voice was hers. Jabberjays mimic what they hear." He drops the bird back to the ground. "Where did they get those screams Katniss?"

"He thinks they did something to me. Torture I mean." I say aloud its not a question. I already know the answer.

"It sounds like it Annie." My Mom says gently.

"Oh Finnick you don't think they…". Katniss trails off.

"Yes I do. That's exactly what I think." He says. He sounds angry but also scared.

It's not that hard to assume they would take me somewhere, strap me down and make me scream like that. It would be so easy too. It would probably be so easy to do that to a thirteen year old girl as well.

"I wonder how they got them." I say in a removed tone.

"Got what?" My mom asks confused.

"Those screams." I say.

"They could've done something. Besides, Annie you screamed in the arena. They could've taken it from that."

"I didn't shout his name." I say. Come to think of it I don't think I shouted help me. I don't think I shouted that much.

"Like I said they probably did something. If they can make birds repeat sounds surely they can make sounds they want the bird to repeat."

I don't really care about the reason. I just care about the look on his face. I've seen Finnick terrified or at lest I thought I had. Waking up from a nightmare with tears brimming in his eyes or streaming down his face. Having a look of fear as he leaves to go to the Capitol. Worrying when I wake up screaming. But this, this is pure terror. And I think that might be downplaying his expression.

"Katniss! Gah!" I hear a male voice say in distress.

"Gale." Katniss whispers.

"No Katniss it's not him! It's a mutt!" Finnick says but she starts to run off again. Finnick grabs her forcefully. "We need to get out of here." Finnick says and drags her for the most part.

"Katniss help me!" I hear someone else say. A woman, she sounds older. Maybe her mother. "Katniss!" I hear children shout.

"Finnick!" I hear myself again.

"I'm the only one." I whisper.

"What's that Annie?" I hear my Mom ask.

"Nothing." I say and feel my eyes well with tears. They only used my voice against Finnick. They could've gotten Pearl's or Tiffany's voices but didn't. I think that means the gamemakers think I'm only important enough to make Finnick become a crazed man. I'm the only one who can break Finnick. That fact scares me.

It starts to turn into a mess of screams. You can make out Katniss or Finnick's name every so often but, it is mostly screams. The sounds are terrifying and haunting.

The camera changes to Johanna, Peeta, and Beetee.

"I think they went in this direction." I hear Johanna say.

Peeta and Beetee follow her.

"Footsteps." She says as she looks at the ground. Looks like she can track.

"Do you think they're in trouble?" Peeta asks.

"We heard Katniss scream what else could that mean?" Johanna rolls her eyes.. "It should be this way." Johanna says.

"Wait!" Beetee shouts. Johanna just rolls her eyes and continues walking but she runs into a wall.

"What the?" She says and puts her hand out. She is touching something. It looks like a hard surface. It looks like glass.

She gets her axe ready to smash.

"No." Peeta says and grabs her hand. "It might bounce back."

She growls.

"Fine." She snarls.

The camera changes back to Katniss and Finnick. Who are now in sight of the others.

The flock of birds are surrounding Katniss and Finnick. I notice they have cuts on their faces and arms from the birds beaks.

"Stop! Stop!" Peeta shouts and puts his hands up but they either don't see him or don't understand.

They are about to make it to them but fall back as they hit the wall.

They both fall back, hard. Katniss hits her shoulder and Finnick face plants. Finnick's nose is bleeding like a faucet. I think he broke it.

Katniss bangs on the wall, but it is no use. Finnick knows this so he gets down and places his hands over his ears. He is rocking back and forth slightly.

The birds stop swarming them and start to take place on all the branches around them. A chorus of terror coming from their mouths.

Katniss doesn't give up like Finnick. She grabs her bow and arrow and starts to shoot the things down. It doesn't matter because they come back. It also seems every time she kills one, the screams get louder.

My eyes are glued to Finnick as I see him rock back and forth.

"What do you think they're hearing?" Peeta asks worried.

"Those birds are jabberyjays. I'm assuming nothing pleasant. Didn't Katniss shout out 'Prim'?." Beetee says.

"That's her sister." Peeta says.

Beete nods.

"Maybe they are hearing them, but maybe they are suffering." Beetee says.

"I should've gone to get water. There's no voice they could use on me." Johanna says. She sounds guilty.

"They might be able to bring voices back from the dead Johanna." Beetee says.

She nods.

They move the camera back to Finnick and Katniss and you can hear the screams still.

"They can't do this for a whole hour. They will be traumatized."

"I don't think they care Annie." My Mom says gently.

I think back to what Finnick said after I got out of solitary confinement.

_'A physiological wound is deeper than any other because it might never heal.'_

"Finnick." I whisper.

The screen then changes.

"Get it back." I say and reach for the remote.

"Annie you can't." She says gently. We both know I knew this.

"I want to see him." I whimper.

She kisses my forehead.

"I know." She whispers. "But he will be okay... for the most part." She whispers.

This is another moment I wish I was in the hive. I could be watching his screen. Although I think that would make everything worse. I would be seeing him in terrible pain and I wouldn't be able to help him. No matter what happens I can't help him.

I feel a tear drop onto my hand.

"Finnick." I whisper and ball my hands to fists so I don't sob.


	165. Chapter 165

**Chapter 165**

The camera is now on Enobaria and Brutus.

"Got a plan?" She asks.

"I say we find Chaff first. Then figure out how to bring down the rest. If we can get them away from each other it will be easier." Brutus says.

"They won't stay together forever. I don't understand why they haven't killed the brains." She says.

"Maybe he is somehow useful to them. They probably will kill him once he is useless." He says.

You hear a crack in the jungle.

"We should get out of here." She says and they do.

There must not be anything exciting going on. The terror of this hour isn't as 'exciting' as the citizen are probably liking.

They just keep blipping through each section.

My heart aches every time they show Katniss and Finnick because you can still hear those screams.

* * *

"The hours up." Peeta says and wraps his arms around Katniss.

Katniss and Finnick are still both on thebground hands over ears.

Katniss looks up at Peeta terrified.

"It's alright Katniss." Peeta says.

"You didn't hear them." She whimpers

Finnick still hasn't gotten up.

Johanna goes over to him and rubs his back. He bolts up and backs away.

"Are you okay?" She whispers.

He doesn't answer just puts his hand up to shoo her away. He doesn't want to talk about this. He doesn't want to think about it either.

Finnick looks so broken. He looks so lost. He just wants one thing right now and that's conformation that I'm okay but I can't give him that. Even if I sent him a parachute that wouldn't help.

I hear the end of Katniss and Peeta's conversation.

"It was a trick a horrible one. But, we're the only ones who can be hurt by it. We're the ones in the Games. Not them." He says gently.

I notice Finnick is hanging onto every single word. He want to believe this as well but, I can tell by his eyes he doesn't.

"You really believe that?" Katniss asks.

"I really do." Peeta says.

"Do you believe it Finnick?" Katniss asks him. She is looking at him desperately.

"It could be true. I don't know." He says and runs his hand over his trident. "Could they do that Beetee? Take someone's voice and make it…" He trails off not wanting to finish.

"Oh yes. It's not even that difficult Finnick." He says. His tone of voice angers me. Maybe because there is no comfort. "Our children learn a similar technique in school." He finishes.

Johanna scoffs.

"Of course he's right. The whole country loves her sister. If they really killed her like this." She smirks. "They'd probably have an uprisi-"

The feed cuts out and is just showing nature. Whatever she was about to say they didn't want us to hear.

"Was she going to say uprising?" I turn towards my Mom.

"Maybe." She says and smooths my hair.

The feed changes back and I see they have moved to the beach. I see Finnick sitting in the water. Letting the waves hit his legs. The sea water is probably comforting to him. He is probably thinking of home. Thinking of me. At the beach in Victors Village or just me.

"Here." Johanna says and give Katniss some water. She plops down right next to her.

They are both staring out at the water or staring at Finnick.

Katniss takes a gulp of water and sets the shell down.

"Who's Annie?" Katniss says and turns towards Johanna.

Johanna smirks.

"Annie. Annie Cresta the girl Mags volunteered for. She won five years ago."

Katniss nods.

"In her arena she ran away after her district partner was beheaded." Johanna smiles and digs her axe in the sand. "She only won because she could swim." She sadly.

"Oh." Katniss pauses. "Is she the one who went a little..." Katniss trails off and raises her eyebrows.

Johanna smirks.

"Yeah." She looks out at Finnick in the water and smiles sadly. "Love is weird." She says.

Katniss looks at Johanna strangely.

It starts to turn to dusk. Katniss and Finnick have been catching and cleaning fish.

Peeta has been keeping a watchful eye on Katniss and Johanna is on Finnick as well. Beetee is just playing with his coil.

They are just about to eat the fish when a parachute drops in front of them.

Finnick opens it and is turning the rolls over and over in his hand.

"Two dozen." He says looking towards Beetee because they are from his District.

They eat and then make camp.

"I'll take first watch." Katniss offers and the rest nod. Peeta stays up with her.

They aren't really talking just looking out at the water.

"I'll be right back." I say wanting to get a glass of water.

I stand up. I see Finnick turning back and forth violently. "Annie." I faintly hear.

I look at the television sadly.

I close my eyes.

There's nothing you can do for him. I think. Despite this I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

When I come back Katniss and Peeta are talking.

"No one really needs me." Peeta says. He doesn't sound sad. He says it matter of factly

Katniss looks him dead in the eye.

"I do. I need you." She says. Peeta looks disappointed by this answer. I think he is about to say something but she kisses him.

This kiss looks different from the ones in the first arena. I almost believe it is real. Maybe Katniss does love Peeta. Maybe she just hasn't realized it yet.

I hear a cry and see Finnick bolt up. He grips the sand and let's the grains fall through his hands.

"I can't sleep anymore, one of you should rest." He basically demands. He's probably tired of the nightmare. Tired of the nightmares of me. "Or both of you. I can watch alone" He adds looking at Peeta and Katniss.

"It's too dangerous. I'm not not tired. You lie down Katniss." He says and kisses her then sits next to Finnick.

They just stare out at the water.

Finnick is tracing circles in the sand.

"How are you?" Peeta asks Finnick gently.

Finnicks fingers stop and looks at him. He smiles the fake smile.

"I'm grand. Just look where we are." Finnick says. I know he meant this to be sarcastic but he sounds too mean.

"Sorry." Peeta says.

Finnick closes his eyes and breathes in and out deeply.

"Don't be. Sarcasm isn't my strong suit." He says. I smile because that couldn't be further from the truth. But what else is he going to tell Peeta.

Peeta nods.

"Thanks for asking." Finnick says after awhile. "Most people wouldn't." He says.

"I'm sure that's not true." Peeta says.

"Don't be so naive Peeta." He says.

"I didn't mean in the arena. I meant in general." Peeta says.

"My former comment stands." He says sadly and throws a rock in the water.

"Well, someone cares about you." Peeta says gently. I know he means me.

Finnick looks down at the sand and shakes his head.

"You have no idea. How much _someone_ cares about me." He says.

Peeta nods.

"I just hope she's okay. I hope Katniss' family is okay too." Finnick says and throws another rock.

"They are Finnick. You heard Beetee."

"I know. Logically I do but…" he trails off.

Peeta nods.

It's silent again.

"Do you like bread Finnick?" Peeta asks and I hear Finnick stifle a laugh.

"Why are you asking?" He smiles.

"Because when we get them in the parachute you seem to count, recount, and make sure you have the right District. I was just wondering if you like bread, making it or whatever."

"Well sorry for you bakers boy." He impersonates Caesar. "But I'm only doing that for food order. You know, make sure we don't starve." He says. His tone is strange. He's lying. Why I don't know.

"Oh." Peeta says.

It's silent again and Finnick looks towards Katniss.

"When are you gonna tell her?" Finnick asks him.

"Tell her what?" He asks confused.

"That this time, you won't be making it out of the arena. That you're going to make sure she does." Finnick says gently.

"She knows already. I'm trying to convince her, she would be more important to go back home. More people love her but, she's stubborn." He says.

"I know all about stubbornness. I am myself." He smiles. "Besides, I understand. If someone I loved was in here. I'd die for them. No matter what." He says and avoids Peeta's gaze maybe his eyes are tearing up. I know he is thinking about if I was in there with him.

It's silent again.

"Annie… the voice you heard"

"Yesss." Finnick says in a tone I'm not familiar with. He doesn't sound angry, just different.

"She's a victor, yes?" Peeta asks gently. I think Peeta knows this is a sensitive subject.

"She is." Finnick says.

"If she was in here-"

"She's not." Finnick says harshly.

"I know but if she was, how would you get her to believe that her going home would be better than you."

"I wouldn't have to worry about that." Finnick says sadly.

"Finnick, I know you don't want to think about this but, I really need more input on how to get Katniss to see she should go home and not me." Peeta says gently.

"I know. I'm saying I wouldn't have to worry about it because she would already be dead." He says sadly.

Peeta looks at him confused.

"She would've died in the bloodbath. She wouldn't have even made it to the cornucopia." He says and picks up a fistful of sand.

"Oh." Peeta whispers.

"You okay sweetie?" I hear my Mom asks.

"I'm fine." I whisper. She kisses my forehead.

I know she only asked me this because of what Finnick was talking about. About how I would be dead if I was in the arena but, I know he's right. I would be dead. My picture would have been shown in the sky a long time ago.


	166. Chapter 166

**Chapter 166**

"Annie." I hear and get a hard shake on my shoulder.

"Finnick?" I ask worried. I fell asleep for a few hours. I need to be sleeping as well, even though I don't want to. I want to stay up 24/7 to make sure I can watch Finnick. Even if he's just sleeping.

"He's alive." She says gently.

I sigh in relief.

"Anything exciting happen?" I ask and rub the sleep from my eyes.

She shakes her head.

"I woke you because it sounds like they are planning something. A trap." She says and runs her fingers through my hair.

I nod.

"Okay." I look to the screen and see Finnick's oozing scabs have gone away. I wonder how that happened. It's not important but I am curious.

"Here's what I purpose: at twelve o'clock what exactly happens at noon and midnight?" Beetee asks.

"The lighting bolt hits that tree." Katniss says.

"Yes. So what I'm suggesting is that after the bolt hits at noon, but before it hits midnight, we run my wire from that tree all the way down into the saltwater, which is of course highly conductive. When the bolt strikes, the electricity will travel down the wire and into not only the water but also the surrounding beach, which will still be damp from the ten o'clock wave. Anyone in contact with those surfaces at the moment will be electrocuted." Beetee says and I scoff.

"What's wrong Annie?" My Mom asks.

"But that won't work." I say and my Mom looks at me strangely.

"What makes you say that?" She asks confused.

"What happens when lighting strikes the ocean Mom?"

"Not much. Can make the waves a bit angry but… nothing too exciting. Why?" She says.

"Exactly." I say and she still look confused. "Nothing happens. Not all the fish in the water die. People swimming in the water don't die. Mom, it's the same thing. Just more elaborate."

"Annie I'm sure he knows what he is talking about."

"I'm sure he does. Which means he's lying."

"Why would he lie Annie?" She asks confused.

"Because, he wants to kill them."

"Annie, I don't think-"

"He won by electrocuting seven tributes at once. I count four. He's trying to trick them because they don't understand. Mom he's going to kill them." I say frantically.

"Annie sweetie. I think you should take a nap. You have only been sleeping in small intervals."

"I know I'm right. Maybe not about the killing part but I know his plan will fail." I say.

"Well like Katniss said there's nothing to loose."

"But-"

She kisses my cheek.

"Everything is going to be fine." She says.

The rest of the day isn't very exciting. They are just setting up the plan and I mostly doze off and on. I think they are showing Brutus and Enobaria when I am sleeping.

I turn towards the screen and Beetee instructs Johanna and Katniss to spread out the wire while Peeta and Finnick guard for him. They could easily take Beetee so I'm okay with this but Peeta isn't.

"I want to go with them as guard." Peeta says and motions towards Katniss and Johanna.

"You're too slow. Besides, I'll need you on this end. Katniss will guard for Johanna. There's no time to debate this. I'm sorry. If the girls are to get out of there alive, they need to move now." Beetee says and gives Johanna the coil. I'm starting to think he isn't trying to kill them but it's unlike him to not know this won't work.

"It's okay." Katniss tells Peeta. "We'll just drop the coil and come straight back up."

"Not in the lighting zone. Head for the tree in the one to two sector. If you find you're running out of time, move over one. Don't even think about going back to the beach though, until I can assess the damage." Beetee says.

Katniss goes to Peeta and cradles his face.

"Don't worry. I'll see you at midnight." She kisses him and turns to Johanna. "Ready?" She asks.

"Why not?" She says annoyed. She sounds about as happy if she was told to go with me. "You guard I'll unwind. We can trade later." She says and Katniss nods.

They start walking off.

"Better hurry. I want to put a lot of distance between me and that water before the lighting hits. Just in case Volts miscalculated something." Johanna says annoyed.

"I'll take the coil for awhile." Katniss says.

The camera changes and it is showing Brutus and Enobaria.

"What's this?" Enobaria asks and taps the coil.

"It was Beete's he took it from the cornucopia after I stabbed him. Seemed pretty important to him." Brutus says.

"We should follow. I think they have finally split up." Enobaria says and cuts the wire.

They nod and head off in the same direction of Katniss and Johanna. They flash to them and they look alarmed. They know what just happened.

Before anything else can happen Johanna hits Katniss over the head with the spoil.

"Uggh!" Katniss yells.

"Shhh." Johanna whispers and sits on top of her. She grabs a knife and is digging around her left forearm. It looks like she is looking for something. She stops and then wipes Katniss' blood on her arm, face, and neck. It looks like Katniss has been hurt badly. Maybe dying. "Stay down." She hisses at Katniss.

The screen flips again.

"She's as good as dead! Come on, Enobaria!" Brutus shouts. Maybe Johanna was trying to make it look like Katniss was dead but why would she do that?

Johanna ran off. Not back to the beach but in a different direction from here.

The screen flips to Peeta, Finnick, and Beetee.

"The wires been cut." Beetee says.

"What does that mean?" Peeta asks.

"Something bad happened." Beetee looks towards Finnick. "Go look for them." He says and Finnick nods. It looks like Peeta is about to bolt. "I still need a guard, Peeta you need to stay with me." He says firmly.

"I need to make sure Katniss is okay." Peeta says.

"I will make sure she is." Finnick says hurriedly. He know he needs to leave. Maybe he cares about Johanna. The numbers are slim I don't understand why they care so much about each other.

"I don't trust you to do that." Peeta says aggressively.

"Peeta you have my word. I know how important she is to you. Just like someone I know." Finnick says. I wonder if this has anything to do with their previous conversation.

"Go." He spits and Finnick does. He follows the wire until it breaks.

Katniss is in the same area but she is hiding.

"Johanna! Katniss! Where are you!" He shouts. Katniss doesn't do anything and heads in the direction the Beete and Peeta are. She probably wants to go back to Peeta. I reach for my Mom's hand this could be it.

The screen flashes back.

"I can't stay here." Peeta tells Beetee and shoves a knife in his hand then runs off with another.

"Peeta wait." Beetee says but doesn't chase him.

"Katniss!" Peeta shouts.

Which was a mistake because Brutus and Enobaria are right there. They chase that way. Peeta must have seen them because he throws a knife and it hits Brutus and he falls. I hear a cannon. He's dead.

"Peeta! Peeta! I'm here!" Katniss shouts

"Let's find that girl on fire." Enobaira says just as Finnick reaches the scene.

They both head to the lighting tree. This time I am confused. The alliance is pretty much broken why is Finnick going back for her?

"Katniss!" Peeta yells again.

Finnick gets into the clearing after knocking Enobaria out.

Katniss is hiding under a bush. Finnick won't be able to see her.

"Katniss!" You hear Finnick shout as he looks around. Katniss points her bow at him. "Katniss." He turns towards the bush that is concealing her. "Katniss." He says and holds up his hands. I can tell he thinks she's there.

Katniss looks at him strangely maybe debating if she should shoot him.

"Get out of the way you but idiot." I whisper.

It looks like Katniss is just about to release her arrow when I hear Finnick.

"Katniss, remember who the real enemy is." Finnick says. I'm a little confused by this statement but I think Katniss knows Finnick isn't the real enemy. Snow is.

Katniss looks puzzled and lowers her bow. The sky start to turn cloudy. The lighting is going to strike soon.

"Katniss get away from that tree!" Finnick shouts.

Katniss isn't listening. I can tell she is still thinking about what Finnick said. She then picks up the wire and looks at the tree. She starts to wrap the wire around her arrow.

"What's she doing?" I ask and my Mom shrugs.

Katniss stands up.

"Katniss get away from that tree!" Finnick says and rushes towards her.

Katniss screams and then shoots her arrow which is bright with electricity. She is shooting for the ceiling of the arena. Is she trying to electrocute the whole thing?

Katniss and Finnick both fall back from the force of lighting.

I suspect the arrow to come back, bounce off the forcefield but it doesn't. It does come back but with half the arena. Then the screens go black.


	167. Chapter 167

**Chapter 167**

My tv screen goes out and so does the electricity in my house.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"I don't know." My Mom says. She sounds scared.

I hear gun shots outside and the blaring of sirens.

"Get off me!" I hear from outside.

I peer out the window and see it is Luna.

"Keep your hands off-" She falls to the ground with a bullet in her head.

"We need to run." I say. I'm surprised by how calm I sound. "We need to leave." I say and hear more gunshots.

My Mom doesn't say anything she just follows.

"Annie." She says.

I look around we can't go out the front door and I'm thinking the back door is out too.

I hear the door open and my Mom grabs my arm and starts to drag us to the basement.

"Nice thinking." I whisper and she nods.

I move her to the pile of junk we have down here. That's all that's down here. Finnick and I put stuff in here we never use. Since he moved back in more stuff is down here. I move some of the boxes so we can hide under the stairs.

I hear loud footsteps.

"Shh." My Mom whispers.

I nod.

I hear the footsteps shift.

"After they leave we will go to the hidden tunnels and find Finnick's grandma." She whispers.

I nod but then realize something.

"I never told you about that." I whisper.

"I know. Finnick told me." She says very calculated.

"Did he tell you how to get there because I don't remember." I say.

"He gave me directions."

I snort.

"Finnick and directions are like oil and vinegar . They don't mix." I say.

"I figured you could help me." She says and I nod.

"What else has he told you?" I whisper maybe I'm about to find out. I hear footsteps near the laundry room, they're close.

"Annie, Finnick hasn't told you things for a good reason." She whispers.

"Why do people keep saying that?" I say annoyed.

"Annie there's something going on. There's a reason why they all protected Katniss and Peeta in the arena."

"Why?" I whisper and hear footsteps directly above us.

"She must of ran off or been watching somewhere else." I hear a muffled voice says.

"No, no. She's here." I hear Demetrius say. "She wouldn't leave this house. She would want to stay close to his things. Be reminded of him. Check again." He snarls.

"Annie if something happens, just remember Finnick did this to protect you."

"Protect me from what?" I say and hear the door open. I hear the creaking of the steps.

"It's just junk." A peacekeeper says.

"This is the only place we didn't check." Demetrius says.

"Shh." My Mom says.

"Come out Annie. If you do it willingly it will be easier for yourself." He says.

"I'm telling you sir they aren't down here." The peacekeeper says.

"Fine check everywhere else you think she could be. Check Tiffany Odiar first, she lives in the country." Demetrius says.

"Of course." He says and runs up stairs.

"I know you're here!" He shouts and kicks a box of something breakable. I hear him sigh and then footsteps back upstairs.

We wait until the door closes.

"What's going to happen?" I ask worried.

"We're going to leave the house and head for the tunnels." My Mom says.

"What if we can't leave. They will find us eventually Mom." I whisper.

"They won't stay here too long. After they leave we run. Annie you need to run away. No matter what happens. People are going to be looking for you."

"Why?" I ask confused.

She purses her lips.

"Because, because they need you for Finnick." " She says.

"What does that mean?" I ask confused.

"I can't tell you anything Annie."

"But-"

She shakes her head so I know it's useless.

We stay here for a few hours and I still hear screams, gunshots, and sirens outside.

"Do you smell that?" I ask my Mom.

"Smoke?" She whispers. I then hear the smoke alarms go off.

"They're burning the house down." I say alarmed. That is one way to draw us out.

"We can't leave." I whisper.

"If we stay we will get burned alive. What do you want Annie?" She asks.

"I want to see Finnick again." I whisper.

She nods and we head upstairs. The smoke is thick. I can barely see in front of me. The house is starting to collapse. We head towards the enchanted garden Finnick made for me. It is the closest exit.

"Miss. Cresta." I hear Demetrius say as I step outside.. "I knew you were here so I knew setting it on fire would get you to come out." He smiles.

"Are you going to kill me?" I say.

"No. I." He smiles. "_We_ need you Annie. It is believed that Finnick is still alive."

"Finnick, he's alive." I say happy.

"From what we can tell yes."

"That's great." I say.

"For you Annie, it's not." He says with a sly smile.

"What, why?" I ask confused.

"Because he is alive you get to come with me. You get to take a trip to the Capitol." He smiles and points a gun. Not at me but at my Mother.

"What are you doing?" I ask worried.

"Come with me and she won't not get hurt."

"How do I know once I leave you'll kill her." I say.

"You don't." He says.

"Annie don't go with him. Just run away." She says.

"If you do she will die." Demetrius says and looks at me.

Before I can do anything I feel hands around me and hear a gun shot.

I'm being dragged from my house and they are trampling all over the beautiful garden Finnick created.

They drag me across the cobble stone in Victors Village. I can see my house being burnt to pieces. That house wasn't my favorite place to live but it was my house. It was mine and Finnick's house. I thought I would live forever with him there.

I can feel my knees getting scrapped as they drag me across the hard pavement.

I get dragged onto the hovercraft and thrown to the floor.

I roll to my back and see they are starting to seal up the doors. My knees are stinging and I can hear people screaming on the hovercraft

"Get it off the ground!" Someone shouts.

"Take her to sector one in the Capitol. Arrangements have been made for the other victors. The rest on board send to sector four or shoot them." I hear a peacekeeper say to the pilot.

"Alright sir." He says and the hovercraft starts to fly.

"What?" I say confused.

"It's better not to ask questions Annie." I hear a familiar voice say. I turn to where it came from and see it is Tyler.

"Tyler." I say and move towards him. He definitely isn't being a guard. His face his bloody and beaten. He is also restrained.

I crawl over to him.

"Where are they taking us?"

"To the Capitol. You're going to sector one out of four. You will be around more higher up criminals. You might have it better. I know Finnick didn't tell you anything. However, I cannot say the same for the others who are being held there. They have terrible torture methods there Annie."

"Torture?" I whisper confused.

He nods.

"Security is high there. It would take a lot of power to get you out." He says sadly.

"Out of where?" I ask still confused.

"The torture centers. I have a feeling you might see some familiar faces."

It's hard for my mind to wrap around this. I'm being taken to the Capitol to be tortured it sounds like. For what though? I have no idea and don't want to know.

"Why did the feed cut out? Is Finnick dead? Are they taking him?" I ask.

"I don't have access to that information but, I wouldn't rule anything out."

"Finnick." I whisper. "Why are they going to torture me?" I ask confused.

"To see if you know anything… however I don't know if they will do anything to you because they know Finnick wouldn't risk it or because they think you're... unstable." He says.

"No talking." A peacekeeper barks.

I back away from Tyler and close my eyes.

My house is burnt down. I'm being taken to the Capitol to be held prisoner. And I think my Mother is dead.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

Not because of that or that I don't know if Finnick is alive. It's that I don't know what they are going to do to me. What they are going to do to me in this torture center Tyler talked about. I also wonder what he meant by familiar faces. Who else am I going to see there?


	168. Chapter 168

**Chapter 168**

"Mmmh." I moan and open my eyes. I feel like I've been run over. My limbs feel like lead and my head is pounding so hard I think my brain might fall out.

I start to look around. I'm in a brightly lit white room. There is a mattress on the ground and a tray of food and a glass of water in the corner.

I look around confused. I don't remember how I got here. The last thing I remember, I was on a hovercraft heading to the Capitol. To be held prisoner.

My hands move down to my knees. I see they have been bandaged. They are still stinging though. I know walking will be painful.

I can't hear or see anything outside of this room. I don't even know how long I've been here. I know I'm in the Capitol from what Demetrius, Tyler, and the hovercraft pilot said.

I look down and see I am wearing a white jumpsuit. I am a prisoner so I shouldn't be surprised.

I roll onto my side. The pavement is nice and cold. It helps my aching head. I wonder if they gave me anything.

I move my hand to my chest and sit up frantically when I can't find it.

"Where are you?" I say and look frantically around.

The locket Finnick gave me is no longer around my neck. I look down and see the ring Finnick gave me is gone as well.

I swallow hard.

Why would they take those from me? Did they think I could use it as some type of weapon?

I sigh and fall back to the floor. That locket would always make me feel better.

I feel a tear drip down my cheek and land on the pavement.

Then the door opens.

"Annie Cresta. Come." I hear someone say in a uniform. It looks like a peacekeeper uniform but it is darker and somehow more threatening.

I don't move. I'm too afraid.

I feel them drag me up forcefully. They start taking me down a dimly lit hallway.

I get pushed in a bright room. So bright it hurts my eyes. Once I can see my bearings, I see I am in a hospital like room. They have the bed and all the sanitary implements. They also have a fridge filled with dozens of syringes. They all have different filled liquids. The liquids are all the colors of the rainbows. So many choices and vials.

I swallow hard. I wonder what those do. I wonder what they are going to do to me.

The door opens and a crack of darkness comes in.

"Hello Annie." I hear someone say. It's a man who has a nice snarl on his face. "You're in the Capitol. The tribute center to be exact." He smiles.

"Oh." I whisper.

"Yes oh. You were knocked out for two days." He says and slams a tray of food and then a glass of water in front of me. "Eat this. It will help for… later." He smiles and heads for the door.

"What happens later?" I say but he doesn't answer. He doesn't even turn around. He just leaves the room.

I'm surprised because the food looks relatively good.

I pick up the spoon. My hand is shaking badly but I manage to take a mouthful. It doesn't taste very good. I take another bite and realize this is laced with something. I should've known they would do something like this.

I feel my eyelids get heavy and I fall back on the bed. I hear the glass of water break. I also hear the door open.

"When should we start?" I hear the guard say.

"She needs to be under more so we can study her head. Put her on an IV drip so she can still get nutrients." I hear a woman say.

"Alright. What else do you think we should do? I mean Johanna and Peeta, we have orders on what to do with them but, not her." The guard says confused.

"Johanna is getting what she expects. Peeta on the other hand is being told and groomed what to do. He will do it to. To save her. To save Katniss." The woman says.

I wonder what she means by groomed, that implies they are making him camera ready but, ready for what?

"And Miss. Cresta?" The guard asks again.

This also must mean they know Peeta, Johanna, and Katniss are alive. I wonder who else is alive. Enobaria? Beetee? Finnick? What about the other victors?

My mind is spinning from the drugs and the situation I am in.

"We can't touch her. Not until Snow says we can." The woman says again.

"Snow doesn't..."

Their speech becomes slurred and muffled. The room starts spinning and I black out.

* * *

I open my eyes and find myself in the same bright room however, this time my hands are bound to the bed.

"Hello Annie." I hear someone say gently.

"Hello." I say. My voice is hoarse. I wonder why. I open my eyes and flinch. It causes the restraints to tighten and my back flatten on the table.

"Hello Miss. Cresta." Snow smiles.

"What am I doing here?" I ask.

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." He smiles. "I know why you're here but I want to know why you think you're here."

"I'm in the Capitol and was taken to be held prisoner."

"Yes." He says. "The next few days for you will be… unpleasant." He sits next to me which causes the restraints to tighten and me to groan. "I think we both know you don't know exactly why you're here and what is going on outside these walls. Finnick is very smart. He knows how to do things correctly, he's almost a well trained dog."

"So?" I say confused and slightly annoyed he compared Finnick to a dog.

"He didn't tell you anything because he knows we would do unspeakable things to you. We could still do unspeakable things to you Miss. Cresta. We could do terrible things to you. But that won't gain anything. It's best we don't lie."

"What exactly are you saying?" I ask confused.

"You're going to be a test subject."

"Excuse me?" I ask confused.

"We have many… methods that still need to practice." He puts his hands on the fridge that has all the vials. "We can't really practice them on people who are more… valuable."

"But-"

"We will need to ask you the standard questions for the first few days but after that. You're a teast subject and will be treated as such."

"But-"

"I know you must be terribly worried about Finnick. So I thought I would show you him." He smiles and presses a button. It is a projection. I see Finnick. He's in the Capitol. He's being fake. I see him wave towards someone and they come to him. A woman around my age jumps into his arms. He then kisses her. I will admit this girl resembles me.

"Why are you showing me this?" I whisper.

"To show you Finnick."

"That's in the past. I want to see present Finnick." I say.

"So would I". He says and stands up. "I can tell you this Miss. Cresta, we know he's alive." He says and I hear the door slam shut.

* * *

I wake up still on the metal slab. My lips are chapped and I have bruises on my body. They only let the restraints loose when it is bathroom time. I only get to go twice a day. They tell me to make it count. I have a feeling however long I'm here I'm going to soil myself. Once at the very least but, I don't think that will be the worst thing that happens to me.

My body is sore from where they have hit me. I know I am probably covered head to toe in bruises. It hurts when I breathe. It hurts when I blink. Let alone anything else.

I know Snow was only asking me what I know as a precaution but I don't think the others know this.

I hear the door open and flinch. I let out an involuntary groan as the restraints tighten.

"Last day then you will be clear." A guard says and takes out one of the syringes.

"You're letting me go?" I say and my voice cracks.

"No, you won't get beaten anymore. Things might become more civil." He smiles.

I want to argue but know not too. I just stare at the ceiling.

I feel a pinch in my arm and everything seems to go into hyper drive. I can feel my palms, face, back, even the top of my head pool with sweat. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears as if it is in front of me.

"Get her to talk." One of the guards says.

"Leave me alone!" I shout and start rocking back and forth.

_Annie. Annie. Annie._

"Shut up!" I shout as I hear my name over and over again. "Leave me alone." I whisper.

_Annie. Annie. Annie. It will all make sense later._

"Leave me alone!" I shout this time.

"Umm we haven't even started questioning her yet." One of the guards says confused.

"Stop saying my name!" I shout.

"We haven't said anything to her." I hear.

"This is the crazy one right?" I hear someone else say.

"She was fine the past few days."

"Maybe we broke her."

"Well that will make the rest of her stay easier." The other guard says.

_Annie. They're going to kill us. Annie we need to die._

"Noooo!" I shout and feel another pinch and black out.

* * *

I jump awake and can feel my arms still restrained to the metal slab.

I hear the door open and flinch.

"Good she's awake." I hear a familiar voice say and then feel a pinch in my side.

I feel a thick layer of sweat appear and my heartbeat in my ears. Now all I feel is pain.

It's like nothing I've ever felt before. I let out an ear splitting scream. Louder than I thought possible my throat is already sore.

I feel injected again and then pain subsides.

I am covered with sweat like a blanket. I'm gasping for air but I can't talk or ask what they are doing to me.

"Give her a few minutes then we can talk." I hear a female say. I know that voice.

"Of course." One of the guards say.

"Remember she doesn't know anything. She's just a test subject." The women says again.

"How are you sure she doesn't know anything?" The guard asks skeptical.

"I've looked at her brain when we make her pass out. Trust me she doesn't know." The women says again. The name is itching in my brain I'm so close to figuring it out but yet so far. "Besides I'm the neurologist not you." I open my eyes and they go wide. I think I actually dilated my own pupils for the sudden realization.

All I had to do was hear the word 'neurologist' to figure it out. I know it's her.

"It looks like she's awake." The guard says.

She smiles and looks me dead in the eyes.

"Yes. She is." She says.

"Nina." I whisper.

"Good you recognize me." She smiles. It is a scary smile it makes a lump form in my throat. How could Finnick trust this women.


	169. Chapter 169

**Chapter 169**

I only met Nina once and that was after I had that seizure on the train. Right after I saw Katniss volunteer for her sister. Right after I had my first Finnick sexual assault dream.

She took care of me or at least I think she did. She seemed to know Finnick and Finnick seemed to trust her.

Now though, she is keeping me here. Torturing me.

Nina makes a motion for the doors and the guards leave.

She waits for them to leave then locks the door and turns off the camera.

"Are you alright?" She says taking the binds off my hands.

"Get away from me." I say and back away. My arms hurt from being held over my head for so long.

"Annie-"

"Get away from me." I say and again back away from her.

"I'm not going to hurt you?" She says almost confused.

"Please what are you trying to do, stockholm syndrome?"

"No, I personally got involved with this to make sure you and the others were safe." She says gently.

"What are you talking about?" I ask angrily.

"Annie I'm not going to report you. It's okay that you know."

"Know what? Everyone keeps asking what I don't know but I want answers. What exactly happened after that arrow flew? Why did I get taken from District 4? Why do they need me for Finnick? Why-"

"You really don't know, do you." She says surprised.

"Know what?" I say softly.

She purses her lips.

"Know what?!" I shout.

"Keep your voice down. If you act up they will come back." She warns.

"Why should I trust you?"

"Because… you don't have anyone else."

I scoff.

"There isn't enough time to explain everything. I'm sure you've seen people in your district rebelling, it's like that in other Districts in Panem. Especially since the games ended."

"Why? Who won?"

"No one won Annie… the games ended because Katniss blew out the forcefield."

I roll my eyes.

"I'm not lying Annie that's why all the other living victors are here."

"Well why would Katniss break the forcefield and why were all the tributes obsessed with either finding her or killing her?" I ask. I'm starting to get angry.

"Because she's the match that started the fire. She's the key to the lock. She's." She closes her eyes and breathes in and out. "She's the mockingjay."

I scoff.

"Annie ever since that card reading there was a plan to break out of the arena. To break Katniss out of the arena."

"Why? It's not like they can go anywhere?"

"Yes they can. District 13."

I roll my eyes.

"Now are you starting to make me go crazy. There is no-"

"Yes there is. I can't explain everything. I'm playing both sides. I'm a spy for Plutrach."

"Plutrach Heavensbee? The head gamemaker?"

She nods.

"Annie, Finnick should've told you. Something at least. He didn't because he thought he was protecting you. Which he is. For the most part. Now you're just going to be a test subject."

"What does that entail?" I ask.

"We do the same things to Avox's however they won't let you die." She says matter of factly.

"Or they'll kill me." I whisper.

She shakes her head.

"They need a reason for Finnick and Katniss to come here."

"Moth to a flame." I say annoyed.

"Exactly." She says.

"I don't think Katniss will come for me."

"No but she will for Peeta."

I hear something outside.

She grabs me forcefully and restrains me again. Then she turns the camera back on.

The door opens.

"Anything?"

"No, I guess we're not hitting the right nerve." She smiles and takes out some strange looking device. I feel it touch my skin and scream.

I wake up hazy. I roll over and see I'm back in my cell.

I'm strangely happy about this. I guess because I'm not restrained and under bright lights.

I see a tray of food and water in the corner but I'm not hungry.

I start tracing circles on the ground. I don't know how long I've been here. I can't see outside and with them knocking me out so much my time perception is off.

I hear the door screech open and turn towards it.

"You may want to eat that Miss. Cresta. Today is your… off day." Snow says.

"Should I be saying thank you or something?"

"No… it's more medical we need you to be somewhat fresh for the weeks to come." He says.

"Is this where me becoming a test subject starts?" I ask.

He nods.

"Don't worry it's not that bad." He smiles.

"Then why don't you do it?" I say.

He laughs.

"You can be funny Miss. Cresta. I'm sure Mr. Odair likes that."

I roll my eyes.

"Speaking of the love of your life, would you like to see him?" He asks with a smile.

"Not in the way you are going to show me." I mumble.

"You sure?" He says and pulls something out of his pocket. It's my locket.

"Why did you take that?" I ask and move towards him.

"Because it might have dangerous side effects."

I look at him. I'm afraid he might have down something to it.

"You keep it." I say and roll over.

"Very well." He says. "Tell me Miss. Cresta how long do you think you have been here?"

"A few days. Maybe a week. If you would stop knocking me out I would have a more definitive answer."

"It's been ten days. Ten days since you victors made a mess of things. It's been ten days Miss. Cresta and do you know what I don't see?" He asks smugly.

I turn towards him he looks way too happy.

"My savior?" I say disgusted.

He smiles.

"Yes. Yes indeed."

"That's because they're smart enough to know not to got traipsing in when it is a lost cause."

Snow's smile fades.

"Well that doesn't matter. You should eat Miss. Cresta after today things will be different." He smiles

He leaves the room and I roll over hoping sleep will come so I don't have to think of what Snow meant by 'different'

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. I hear a heart monitor

I open my eyes. I'm no longer in my cell. I'm in the same room I have been held in before. Except I have all these wires attached to my head. My hands are still restrained and I see the refrigerator of syringes has been opened. Most of the red vials are missing. I'm assuming they have been used. I wonder what they do. I wonder what they did to me.

I hear the door open and see two guards and Nina.

"We need to move her. To the questionnaire room." She says.

"Don't you mean interrogation room?" Guard A. asks.

"Questionnaire room sounds more… civil." Nina says.

Guard B. and Nina start to remove the sticky wires from my head. While Guard A. starts to untie my hands.

"Okay let's move her." Nina says.

"Shouldn't we knock her out?" Guard A. says.

"She's too weak still, from the medicine. She did almost suffer a heart attack." She says so blasé.

"Heart attack?" I croak out.

"Don't worry you're fine now. Slight pain in your chest, but you'll be fine." Nina says.

"Wait, wait." I say but they pick me up and I'm being dragged to another room. I don't even get to ask what they did to me. Or more information on why they think I almost had a heart attack.

This interrogation room has a table and a chair. What you would imagine an interrogation room to be. However, there is a strange television and strange medical implements. I can see dried blood on some of them.

"Don't worry that's just from Mr. Mellark. Clean up crew didn't do a good job." Guard B. says.

"Peeta's here?" I ask.

"Yes, he is." Guard A. says annoyed.

"Well where is he and what did you do to him?" I ask.

"That is not your concern Miss. Cresta." Guard A. says.

"What other victors are here?" I ask.

"What makes you think we'll answer?" Guard B. says.

"What makes you think I'll believe your answer." I say back.

"Can't give it all away but Miss. Mason is here as well." Nina says.

"Can I see them?" I ask already knowing the answer.

"Maybe later." She smiles and handcuffs me to the chair.

I sigh.

Nina gets a metal syringe filled with a bright purple liquid.

"This I like to call truth in a bottle. There hasn't been many breakthroughs for this but it is fun to test." She smiles.

I wait for her to inject it into me but nothing happens.

"What are you waiting for?" I ask.

"A special guest." She says just as the door is opening.

I groan.

"President Snow." I mumble.

"Hello Miss. Cresta so glad to see you." He smiles. I can smell his reeking roses from here. He also smells like chloroform.

"You here to watch me tell the truth?" I say.

"Oh yes. I am. I think everyone in this room now knows that you don't know anything. No matter how hard it took some of you to convince." Snow's eyes fleet to the back. Apparently someone thought I was lying. Someone thought I actually knew something.

"This is still an experimental drug so we thought we would try it on you first." Nina smiles and hands him a syringe.

The bright purple liquid looks sickeningly sweet. It looks artificial I wonder what is in that stuff.

"You can drink this instead Miss. Cresta." He smiles.

"No." I say. He sighs. Someone sticks me. I'm hoping they knew what they were doing because an air bubble could kill me. I doubt that matters. I wonder if I will die here. God I hope not.

The injection hurts but I don't scream. I suddenly feel hazy.

"Give it a few minutes." I hear Nina say.

I want to scream. I can't believe Finnick trusted this women.

"Okay ask her anything you want." She says.

"How will you be able to tell if she is lying?" Someone asks. I'm assuming this is the skeptical person. I do remember Nina told me no drug could tell if you were lying.

"Let's not ask about the rebellion she could easily lie. Let's ask her something personal." Snow smiles.

He's going to humiliate me.

"For the brain waves we should ask her name first. This is a test after all." Nina says.

"Very well. State your name." Snow says.

Before I can even think I'm vomiting the words.

"Annie Marie Cresta." I say. I wonder why I said my middle name.

Snow nods.

"Good now something more personal."

I see they bring Johanna in here. She looks a little worse for wear but she could be worse. She has cuts and bruises. She is wearing less clothes than I am and looks damp. I wonder what they are doing to her. I wonder what she knows.

"What do you think of when you see Miss. Mason?" Snow asks.

"Frightened." I say. My face feels hot. I know she knows this but I don't want a whole room of people to know this.

"Why?" Snow asks intrigued.

"Because of her personality." I say and Johanna snorts she knew this already.

"If you could tell her one thing that you have always wanted to say what would it be?" He smiles.

"I…" I close my eyes trying to stop myself from saying this but I can't stop it. "To stay away from Finnick." I say.

"Why?" Snow smiles. He has a strange twinkle in his eyes. He is enjoying this. I wonder why though.

"Because she wants to have sex with him." I whimper.

Johanna rolls her eyes.

"Lots of people want that." She says. Her voice is strange she doesn't sound as strong or confident as she usually does. They're doing something to her. Something bad.

"Alright let's skip over the melodrama." Snow says and motions for Johanna to leave.

"Now Miss. Cresta I'll get to the real question I want to ask."

"By all means go ahead." I mutter.

"What do you think of this deal between Mr. Odair and myself?" He asks.

"Disgusting." I say. Although I'm pretty sure he knew that.

"At me or Finnick?" He smiles.

"You." I say but feel a slight pinch in my head. Do I feel disgusted with Finnick?

"You sure?" He smiles and I nod. "You don't feel the least bit disgusted knowing that when he comes home from the Capitol and hugs you, kisses you that those same hands and lips were just on anothers." He smiles. "That a few hours before he was with some man or woman naked, sweaty, writing around in pleasure."

"Stop it!" I shout. I feel gross all over my body as he says these words.

"Finnick has been with hundreds upon hundreds of women. He then comes home to you." He shakes his head and smiles. "It doesn't bother you that a few hours or days before he sees you he was writhing around with some women. Those same hands, those same lips-"

"Stop." I say.

"Do you feel disgusted with Finnick?"

"I… I…"

"Do you feel disgusted with Finnick?" He asks again.

I hear a screwdriver sound and an intense pain in my head. It hurts terribly. I want to scream but know that will only give Snow the satisfaction he is seeking. I bite my cheek so hard that I can taste blood.

"Miss Cresta if you answer the question the pain will go away but only if you are telling the truth." He tells me like a child. "So do you feel just the tiniest disgust with Mr. Odair?"

I take a deep breath I feel like I'm chocking so I end up shouting my answer.

"Yes." I say and the pain goes away. "But, not all the time." I add but it doesn't matter Snow has a creepy smile on his face because he knows he won.


	170. Chapter 170

**Chapter 170**

"I see Miss Cresta. Doesn't it feel better to tell the truth?" He says smugly.

I don't say anything. I pick on spot on the wall and stare.

"Now even though you feel disgusted with Mr. Odair-"

"Not all the time. You tricked me by making me think… I love him."

"The question wasn't if you loved him Miss. Cresta it was if you felt disgusted with him. I might have brought certain memories to the surface but you would still feel the same way."

I grit my teeth. I know disagreeing with him will not end well.

"I'm curious Miss. Cresta, even though you say you're disgusted with Mr. Odair, have you ever had sexual relations with him?" He asks and smiles.

"Why do you need to know this?" Nina asks.

"Humiliation is the best for a situation like this. Just answer the question Miss. Cresta." He says.

I don't want to. It feels like my face is turning red and I hear a screw driver sound again.

I start screeching loudly. My throat is starting to hurt. I don't want to answer this in a room full of people or President Snow. I know Nina knows the answer to this because she saw my dream of Finnick assaulting me.

I stop screaming and just give into it. I can't do anything about it.

"Yes. Multiple times." I say and the pain and dizziness stops.

"And yet he disgusts you." He smiles.

"I can't think about this."

"Too bad." Snow says. "Do you ever wonder if Mr. Odair thinks of another women than you? Thinks of someone more." His eyes linger over me. "Experienced."

I spit in his face.

Snow looks surprised and then wipes it from his eye.

He makes a motion and it feels like pins and needles. Like when your limbs start to fall asleep but it is more painful.

"Stop." He says. "Don't do that again." He smiles. "You didn't answer my question."

"Why bother asking when you already know the answer."

He smiles.

"We did a similar test on Mr. Odair. Struck a deal for him to be able to see you again, live with you. Does that ring any bells?"

"He just said you let him because of what you did to his sister and brother."

"I didn't do anything to Marci-"

"Don't say their names. You don't have the right." I say.

He smiles. "Perhaps." He clears his throat. "We recorded this just like we are recording you. We asked him similar questions and you're going to hear his answers." He smiles and presses play. I see Finnick in the same room I was held for two weeks in Snow's mansion. He is just sitting on the chair.

They ask for his name what district he is from. Simple starter questions.

"How do you feel about Miss. Cresta?" Snow asks.

"I love her, madly, irrevocably, completely, pick a nice adjective and that's it. I can't live without her. I would die if you killed her. Or touched her again." I smile. I was forgetting what his voice sounded like.

"Very well." Snow says.

"This thing I make you do. How does it make you feel?" Snow asks. I wonder why he is being so vague. He should just say 'how do you feel about me selling you like a high end product'.

It looks like Finnick is holding his breath. He doesn't want to say this. His face is turning pink.

"Answer the question Finnick and it will get better." I've never heard Snow call him Finnick before. I don't think he has ever called me Annie either. It's always Mr. Odair or Miss. Cresta.

"I feel angry and can't believe someone could do something to people. Why do you do it anyways? Do you just like seeing people suffer?" Finnick asks. It looks like Snow tazes him.

"You're not the one asking questions." He smiles.

"Miss Cresta knows of this deal, how do you think she feels about it?"

"She doesn't like it. She hates it and hates you because of that."

"What do you think she feels when you kiss her, touch her, make love to her? Or the better question how do you feel?" Snow asks with a smile.

"I don't want to answer." He says. It looks like he is holding his breath again.

"I don't want to hear the answer." I say.

"Too bad." Snow says in time with the recording.

Finnick holds his breath for a long time. More than I thought possible. His face is red and his eyes are becoming bloodshot.

He gulps for breath.

"I…I don't know how Annie feels. I think she feels safe and loved. I hope she does." He whispers.

"And you Mr. Odair, how do you feel?"

"I… I…I…" He holds his breath again. His lungs are probably worn out. I wonder if he is holding his breath so he won't scream. "Dirty!" He ends up shouting. His face has regret. He didn't want to say this. He didn't want to share this.

Snow smiles. In the present and in the video.

"Do you feel dirty because of Miss. Cresta?" He says.

"No, she's… she's so beautiful. She makes me feel-"

"I don't need to know what or how she makes you feel. Why do you feel dirty then? Is it because you can't tell the difference anymore, between her and the thousands of other woman you have bedded?"

I hope that is not the case.

"No, Annie's different. I feel dirty because I have to share her! When I do things with her it all becomes too easy because. I know the routine. I know what to do. I know how to make her feel because of all those people. It shouldn't be so easy. Everytime I kiss her or do anything to her there is always a pang of guilt in my stomach. Annie doesn't deserve me. She deserves better. "

"Finnick." I whisper. I know Finnick has felt this before. Not all of it. I knew he didn't like to 'share' me. Even though that isn't the right term. But what is the right term in this situation? I didn't know Finnick was sad because he knew what to do. Knew a routine as he put it. This is strange and messed up. I feel like I'm reading his diary or something.

"Have you ever thought Miss. Cresta was a client. Just for the briefest moment."

Finnick looks at his lap.

"I already know the answer to this question. You can turn it off." I whisper.

Well I think I do. It was only one time. I only remember because he was different, he was rough. He stopped when I told him but it was weird. Apparently he does that to woman in the Capitol sometimes because they like it. Cynthia came to mind immediately.

Snow pauses the tape.

"Then what is Mr. Odair going to say?" He asks with a smile.

"He's going to say once! Then you're going to ask him and he'll tell you why!" I shout

"Let's see if you're right?" He asks and presses the play button.

"Once." He says and looks up. I see a tear roll down his cheek.

"This upsets you?"

"Yes."

"Because you couldn't tell the difference? Or something else?"

"Yes but, there was something else."

"What was that Mr. Odair?"

"Don't make me answer this." He whispers.

"Turn it off." I say again.

"I would like to see how you react to his answers Miss. Cresta."

"I need to see how long this drug lasts. When you go home, you will be with her again. I won't ever do that to you again. Just answer the question and you can go home." Snow says to Finnick in the recording.

Snow technically kept his word. Technically.

"I hurt her." He sniffles. "Too fast… too hard…she cried out stop. Cries of pain. I did stop… there was blood… she let out a few tears. She said she didn't cry but I know when she went to the bathroom she did." He sobs.

The television turns off.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"I'm taking the look from your face that Mr. Odair did not tell you about this… questioning." He smiles.

"He did not." I say.

"Well, I will spare you the sight of him crying." He smiles. "I'm wondering... if you could finish the story for me?" Snow says.

"The drugs are going to wear off soon sir." Nina says.

"Do we have more vials?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Then I'll go on." Snow says.

"It was hard to hear the rest of the story from Mr. Odair, because he was sobbing, probably from the memory. Can you finish the story?"

"I don't want to answer."

"I know." He says with a smile.

I start screaming a little, the pain isn't as bad but it still hurts.

"After I left the bathroom." I gasp.

"One more thing, did you cry, in the bathroom. Did you cry?" He asks.

I swallow hard.

"Yes. I cried." I say and feel a tear fall from my eye.

"Why?" He asks with a smile.

"I couldn't believe what had just happened." I whisper.

"I see, go on."

"After I left the bathroom Finnick told me clients sometimes wanted that or he did it when he was angry. Angry at you, them, just angry. He didn't want to sleep in the same bed with me that night. He wanted to stay away from me. Please stop I don't want to say any more." I whimper. .

"When did this happen?" He asks.

"I don't know." I say. Since I am under truth drugs this must be the truth.

"Did you share the same bed as Finnick that night?"

"No." I whisper.

"How did that make you feel?"

"Scared. The next day he didn't even want to hold my hand. He probably felt ashamed. Or concerned because this has happened in nightmares before." I say and purse my lips.

"Nightmares? Do you dream of this frequently?" He asks. He has a strange sparkle in his eyes.

"I did." I say.

"Very well. Have you and Mr. Odair been together since?"

"Why are you so interested in this? Are you a sick pervert?" I say.

"No, I just like making you uncomfortable. Now answer the question."

I look at my lap.

"Yes." I whisper.

"So was he angry at you Miss. Cresta?" He smiles.

"I don't know." I whisper and a tear rolls down my cheek.

"We can try this another day" He smiles and leaves

I get dragged back to my cell and get thrown in.

I lean on my bed and push my knees to my chest. I hadn't thought about that night since it happened.

I hear my door open and whimper.

"You're supposed to eat after that drug or it could cause dehydration." Nina says gently. She sets a tray of food on the ground and gets up. "I'm sorry you had to answer those questions Annie. You didn't want to. You didn't want to relive that memory-"

"Please go away." I whimper and she does.

I roll over and eat the bland food and drink the water. I close my eyes.

I see flashes of light and blurry visions.

"Finnick stop you're hurting me!" I hear myself shout.

"Annie I'm sorry."

More flashes of light.

"Oh god you're bleeding." Finnick says worried.

Strange flashes the vision is blurry and starts spinning.

I hear shouting. Crying. Whimpering.

"It's what my clients want." I hear in echoes.

"I love you." I cry.

It turns to blackness and then I see a strange green face.

"Your nightmares a reality." I hear echo.

I flinch awake.

I look at my forearm and see the brand mark. I see Snow's emblem

"I hate you." I whimper and roll over


	171. Chapter 171

**Chapter 171**

I wake up and see I'm not back in my cell, I'm in one but it's not the one I've been held in.

A glass wall or something translucent is there instead of a solid wall. I can see out and people can see in. I also see people watching me but also other prisoners. I can also see what they are doing to them.

I see a male arch his back in pain. I know he is screaming but I can't hear his screams.

I hear a banging on the wall next to me which is also translucent. It's like I'm in a clear box. The person who is responsible for the banging is Johanna.

I walk to the wall and see Johanna.

She mouth something.

I shrug my shoulders I can't understand.

She stomps her foot and rolls her eyes.

"I'm sorry." I say.

She starts to breathe on the glass. I can see her air. She then writes something in the fog.

"Okay?" It says.

I nod slightly. I'm very aware of the guards right now.

I point at her. Hopefully she will understand I'm asking the same question.

She smiles and blows more hot air on the glass.

"Of course." It reads.

"Peeta?" I say. I'm hoping her lip reading is better than mine.

She looks off to the side and shakes her head. I see her point to a cell next to her but I can't see him. I notice they have an adjoining room.

She starts to braid her hair and acts like she is shooting something.

"Katniss? Is she here?" I ask.

Johanna furrows her brow. She doesn't understand .

"Katniss?" I say slower and motion around.

She shakes her head.

She flashes ten fingers then three.

"Thirteen?" I say. Johanna looks happy by this.

I'm about to say something else. I want to ask her about Finnick but some guards come in and walk towards her.

She backs away from them and is shaking her head. There is a struggle. I notice there are a least four guards coming to get her. She must have tried something earlier. They corner her then inject her with something. She isn't knocked out it is probably some type of tranquilizer.

Since she is gone I can now see Peeta. He's isn't wearing the same clothes we are. They look nice. They are from the Capitol.

I try to see what he looks like. If he looks damaged like I probably do. Like Johanna does but, he's too far away. If he's wearing Capitol attire he can't be in that bad of shape but then why is he in this prison?

I don't bang on the wall to get his attention. I have never met him so I don't think I would get his attention like Johanna did for me. I wonder if he even knows what I look like. He only knows one thing about me, and that is that I'm the voice Finnick heard in the arena.

I sigh and sit on the ground. I try not to look across from me because I know they are hurting people. Instead I just look at the wall. I look long enough that I can finally see my reflection. I knew from the rest of my body that I would be bruised but strangely my face is fine. I do have a few scratches. My lips are so chapped, they are on the verge of bleeding. I wonder why that is. I look very pale and have dark circles under my eyes. That isn't unusual but my eyes look sunken in. I couldn't have lost that much weight because apparently I have only been here for ten days. At least that is what Snow said. I don't trust him. Even though it is something so small.

I unzip my outfit a little to see some of my body that I can't.

"Oh no." I whisper. I have a nice purple bruise on my back and rib cage. I knew I had something there because it hurt badly. I touch the skin with the pads of my fingers and flinch. The tender skin hurts. The bruise hasn't even begun to heal because I see no green or yellow yet.

I swallow hard and zip my uniform back up. I don't want to see the rest. I fall back on the floor. I want to cry but I'm certain there are cameras. I know Snow will see this, see me eventually and I don't want him to get the satisfaction of making me cry again. Of making him win again.

I try and count the ceiling tiles. They are a steel black and look indestructible. I remember Snow saying I was in the tribute center but I don't believe him. Why would all this be in the tribute center?

One. Two. Three. One. Two. Three. Three. I count over and over again

I flinch when I can suddenly hear screams. There are lots of them. The pitches vary from low to high. I turn to the source and see why I can suddenly hear. My door has been opened. It's Nina.

"What do you want?" I say my voice is still hoarse.

"Come to check on you. You will have another evaluation soon." She says and steps closer to me slowly. She's acting if I'm a land mine.

"No back up?" I snarl because she is free of guards.

"I said I didn't need any. Don't prove me wrong Annie. You'll have it worse if you try and attack me."

I sigh.

"You're not worth the effort." I say and sit up.

"I have something for you. That is if you want it." She smiles and holds something out. It reflects off the lights and causes a rainbow effect. It's my ring.

"No thanks." I whisper.

"Annie this is important to you so is that locket. But the ring is a heirloom. I know it was Finnick's-"

"Don't you say his name. You betrayed him. I get the feeling you were friends."

"We were. Then Finnick had to do all of this. He made a mess of things. I never knew Finnick at all."

I sigh.

"Just do whatever you want." I whisper.

"Very well." She says and kneels in front of me. She grabs a flash light and starts to look at my eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" I whisper .

"You can do whatever you want." She says.

"Peeta over there." Her eyes fleet to the side.

"Yes?"

"Why isn't he wearing a white jumpsuit?"

"He was filming something."

"What?"

"Something that will be used if necessary. Don't worry Annie, soon he will get his own jumpsuit. But like you, we know he doesn't know anything."

She turns my face and looks at the bruise on my neck. She touches it and I wince.

"I'm assuming that hurts?"

"Yes." I say annoyed. "That should be obvious."

"I'm required to ask."

"What was Peeta filming?"

"A video. It will only get brought to light if things get terrible out there." She says.

"So what, is he going to be a test subject now?" I ask.

"He's going to become a special test subject." She smiles. "I need you to disrobe." She says.

"What, no." I say.

"Annie those drugs we gave you, we need to see what they do. I also need to take some of your blood. Now-"

"No, I'm not getting naked in front of all these people." I whisper.

"It will only be for a few minutes. Besides most people won't even notice."

"What about the guards." I say because they are looking into my cell.

"Annie if you don't do this... your clothes will be forcefully removed. By one of those guards. You don't want that. They would probably… wander." She says.

I put my hands over my chest. I feel sick. I don't want any of these guards to touch me. I don't want them to see me naked as well.

"Annie I can put medicine on you to make you feel better. Less discomfort."

"Is that allowed?" I whisper.

"We can't have you die." She smiles. I think she was trying to make a joke but it isn't funny. "Annie please. I don't want something to happen that doesn't need to. It will only be a few minutes." She says.

"Okay." I whisper and undo it slowly. She touches all the bruises and it feels like glass is being broken. She likes looking at my chest and is rubbing stuff on it.

"What's that for?" I whisper.

"Your heart was beating irregularly when we injected the red liquid into you. Need to make sure you're okay." She says.

"Was I passed out then?" I ask.

"Yes, your body needed to be in a relaxed state. Can't have you be relaxed if you were awake. You proved that yesterday." She says and removes her hand. "Okay pants now too."

"Can I at least put my bra back on?" I whisper.

"No." She says.

"Why?" I say.

"Because you can't it could mess up the exam."

"But-" I say and she unzips my pants and leaves them around my ankles. She touches the bruises on my legs and rubs stuff on it. It smells like peppermint. I like that smell I won't ever again. "Don't touch me." I say and slap her hand away as she gets close to my underwear.

"Annie-"

"You didn't do anything there you don't need to look."

"Well since you admitted you have sexual relations-"

"Which you knew already. You asked me that when I first saw you. You saw my dream as well."

"Annie they want to make sure you're not infected with anything. That could mess up the tests and you are a test subject. We need to know everything about you medically. "

"I'm not. I'm not infected." I say.

"Well Finnick has been with many people and hasn't been looked at in awhile-"

"I'm not infected with anything."

"Annie-" she says and her hands moves closer again.

"Don't touch me." I say and move her hand away again.

"Annie I can always restrain you." She says.

"Don't touch me." I say again. "You can touch my chest all you want but you can't touch me like that. Or look at me." I whisper.

"Annie I'm a doctor I've-"

"You're also my captor. You're someone who locked me up. Injected me with things. Tortured me. And now you want to play I'm a doctor card so it's okay that I look at you. No don't touch me." I angrily.

"Annie-" she says and reaches for me again I slap her hand away but she is more forceful this time and gets my underwear pulled down.

"No don't touch me." I cry. "Don't touch me." I sob. "Don't touch me!" I shout frantically. I feel her touch me over and over again. Then she swabs something.

I feel a tear leak from my eye and roll into my ear.

"We're all done now that wasn't so bad." She says and pulls my underwear than pants back on. I notice she wasnt wearing any gloves. "You can put the rest on. I just need some blood." She says and gets a syringe. She sticks it in my arm and takes two large vials of my blood. "You need to eat afterward because of the blood loss. The food will be here soon." She says and leaves the room.

I sit here for a few minutes. I feel dizzy and don't know if it's from the blood loss or everything else.

I eventually sit up and put my bra on and zip the rest of my outfit up. I zip it as far up as it will go. It's around my neck it almost feels like I'm choking but I don't care. I know a lot of people out there just saw that. Saw me.

I back away to the corner and press my knees to my chest.

I feel eyes on me and turn towards the wall. Peeta is looking at me. I look back towards him. His face has a strange expression on it. It's pity but something else. Maybe regret. His eyes are almost saying I want to comfort you. Peeta really is better than all the others. I wonder what they are going to do to him.

I lean my face on my lap and rock back and forth.

I close my eyes and try to remember that song Finnick sings to me when I can't fall asleep. Finnick isn't one for signing. He probably shouldn't. It is more musical talking but it makes me feel better.

I can't remember the whole song. Just the first line. 'You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray.'

I start whispering this to myself over and over again. It isn't helping like it usually does and it isn't because I can't remember the whole song.

"It's because Finnick's not signing." I whisper and lean against the wall. Hoping I will fall asleep. Hoping when I wake I will be in District Four. Hoping that when I get there my Mom will be there.

"You are my sunshine." I whisper and rock back and forth. "You make me happy when skies are gray." I'm hitting my head against the wall. "You'll never know dear how much I love you." Starting to bang my head against the wall. I think I'm trying to knock myself out "Please don't take my sunshine away."

_Bang bang bang_. I hear my head against the wall.

I suddenly see stars then blackness follows.

* * *

**A/N: The song Annie is singing is you are my sunshine by Willie Nelson which I'm sure most of you have heard. I don't own the rights to the song obviously. Thanks for reading!**

**-Susan**


	172. Chapter 172

**Trigger warning contains themes of rape.**

**Chapter 172**

I wake up and see a tray of food in front of me and water. It's the bland food that I think will never go stale. It is gray and tastes what I imagine cardboard to taste like.

I breathe I and out.

I don't want to eat the food but I know I should from the blood loss. I just keep thinking of Nina and how she touched me. Sure she is a doctor but that doesn't make it okay. I wasn't going to the doctor to be looked at. I wasn't going to the doctors at all. She isn't a gynecologist she's a neurologist. I don't know if she even has the right to do that.

I sniffle and wipe snot on my sleeve. I don't care if it will mess up the perfect white fabric. I don't care.

My move my hand to the back of my head and feel a bump but I strangely don't have a headache. Which is odd because I knocked myself out.

I eat the mush and look out to see if other prisoners are still here. I don't notice them. I notice the guard staring at me. He is smiling. He winks at me.

I drop my spoon and turn my back to him. He must've seen me. I don't understand why Nina couldn't have just taken me to a secure room. It would be better, less degrading.

I swallow hard. The guards on this side are staring too.

My chin starts to tremble and I decide to just lie face down on the cold concrete. Stomach down with my cheek resting against the cold surface.

I sniffle and start crying.

I cover my face with my hair and arms. It is obvious that I am crying but at least they can't see my face.

I hear the door open and feel footsteps this way. I notice there is a pipe on the wall and I grab onto it. I don't want them to take me anywhere.

"Come with us Miss. Cresta." I hear a guard say.

"No." I say and grip the pole. "No! No! No!" I say and feel hands on my waist. "No! No! No! Let go of don't take me anywhere! Please leave me alone! Don't take me anywhere!" I sob and grasp the pole tighter.

"Get Sanchez in here too. He can pull her off." I hear a guard say. I wonder who Sanchez is.

They stop pulling on me but I'm still hugging the pole.

I hear the door open.

"What?" I'm assuming Sanchez says. He sounds annoyed.

"She won't let go." One guard says. I think there are only two in here.

"Honestly, this is why you called me here? Isn't this the crazy girl? She doesn't even look that strong. Besides there is nothing scheduled for cell A13 until tomorrow something about blood tests."

"Yes but Nina did an exam and wasn't quite finished yet. We saw something terrible."

"No! No!" I shout and move closer to the wall. This isn't an order they want to take me somewhere. "No! No! She said I was fine!" I shout.

"Everyone shut up!" Sanchez shouts. "We aren't supposed to kill this one."

"Kill no, harm yes. You should see the bruises she already has on her."

Someone sighs.

"Why exactly did you say you needed her again?"

"Nina wanted us to review her exam. Take Annie to her after she woke up." One of the guards say.

"Nina is currently unavailable. However since this seems so important to you, you can take Miss. Cresta to sector F because that is where Nina currently is."

"No! No! They're lying! They're going to hurt me!" I shout.

"That is the point of all this." I hear a guard snicker.

"Quiet." Sanchez says.

"No! No! You have to listen to me. You have to listen!" I shout but I feel more hands on me and my grip is loosening.

"No! No! They're going to take advantage of me!" I shout. They are talking about Nina 's exam and how the need to examine me. It isn't that hard to assume that they are going to take me and...

No one is listening any longer.

Someone is pulling hard. I'm going to have bruises on my stomach later.

My hands slip for one second and they grab me, restrain me.

"Take her to hall F." I hear Sanchez say.

The two guards do. I never get a look at Sanchez's face. They just drag me down the hallways. I see that they have all the letters of the alphabet. All twenty six.

In hall F the rooms aren't see through, maybe this is where I was kept before.

They open the door. One shoves me in and follows while the other stands guard.

"This was your old room." He smiles.

"So?" I whisper.

"So it will be easier to understand."

"Please don't hurt me." I whimper.

"I won't. Promise." He says and picks up some of my hair and smells it. "Even though you haven't showered in awhile you smell so nice." He says.

"Please don't hurt me." I whisper again.

"I won't I promise. However my friend out there might not agree."

I feel some tears roll down my cheeks.

"Please don't do this."

"But you're so beautiful even with those bruises. It's like Nina was just taunting us."

"No. No." I say. He pushes me down on the bed. My hands are tied so it will be hard for me to get up. "No! No!" I shout.

"The ironic thing about this Annie, is that even though you will be screaming no one will come because all the other prisoners are doing the same thing."

"No! No!" I shout as I feel his hands on my zipper. "No! No! No!" I shout. "No! No! Get off me! Get off me!" I shout but it doesn't matter. He's much bigger than I am and has the upper hand.

He doesn't bother with all my clothes. He just zips my jumpsuit down enough.

"No." I whimper. "Please don't." I whisper.

He's much rougher than Finnick ever has been even after that night Snow made me talk about.

"Please stop!" I shout. "You're hurting me!" I say but he just hits me instead. "You're hurting me." I whimper. "No! No!" I shout but it doesn't matter. Nina was worried about me having an infection well now she should and worry that I'm pregnant.

"You're so wonderful Annie." The guard whispers and kisses my cheek. "You feel amazing." He whispers.

"Get off me." I whisper.

He does and leaves. I can feel myself shaking. I'm about to start sobbing when I hear the door open. It's the other guard.

"No!" I sob.

It doesn't matter. He does things much rougher than the first guy and I didn't think that was possible. He starts to do things that I would have never done. Ever.

"No please!" I shout but just like the first guy he doesn't listen.

I wonder what would happen if I got pregnant by these men. I wonder if anyone would believe me. What Finnick will think if that happens. I swallow hard. Finnick.

The guy gets off of me and smiles.

"We'll give it a minute before you go back to your cell. Don't tell anyone. It's not like anyone will believe you."

I hear the door close.

My hands are still restrained and I'm still lying on the bed. My jumpsuit is still unzipped and I think one of them took my underwear.

My chin is trembling and I'm trying to hold back sobs. I feel if they did it in hall 'A' things would be different.

I do what anyone would do. I roll on my side and start sobbing. I can still feel the painful throbs. I think I'm bleeding.

I don't know how long they let me cry but it wasn't long enough.

The gentler of the two zips my jumpsuit back up and leads me to hall 'A'.

I get placed back in my room and crawl to the side of the room. I see Johanna is back. She's sopping wet and is twitching.

I don't care I'm on my hands and knees and just start sobbing. I hear her tap on the glass but I don't want to look at anyone. Touch anyone. I don't want anyone to look at me ever again. I feel so dirty so ashamed.

I look towards Johanna's cell and see Peeta is in the same room. I wish I had an adjoining cell with someone. Then again right now I wouldn't.

I see them pointing at me. I know they are talking about me. I also notice Peeta has a white jumpsuit now.

A guard goes in and takes Peeta back to his cell. They obviously don't want them to talk to each other.

I curl up into a ball and press my knees to my chest.

What is Finnick going to think of me?

I swallow hard.

What if he doesn't want to touch me anymore.

"Oh god." I whisper and start sobbing.

If I ever do see Finnick again that is.

* * *

"Come Annie." I hear Nina say.

"Get away from me." I scream.

She pulls out a syringe and sedates me.

I wake up in the same room I was made to tell the truth yesterday, but I don't see anyone else in here.

"Where's everyone else?" I ask.

"They'll be here in a few minutes. "

"Can I make a request?" I whimper.

"What?"

"Can I get different guards." I whisper.

"Annie-"

"Please. You can do whatever you want to me but please, please don't let me see them. Please don't let me see them." I sob.

Nina looks at me strangely.

She opens her mouth but the room starts to fill.

People start to inject me and start to attach wires to my head. Then the questions start I notice Snow isn't here which I'm grateful for.

"What is your greatest fear Annie?" Someone asks I don't know what the answer to this is. Looks like I'm about to find out.

"Loneliness." I say and the questionnaire looks confused.

"Why?" They ask.

"Dying alone. Being alone! No one to-" I know what I'm going to say and don't want him to hear this. Especially if Finnick is here.

I start to get dizzy and hear the screwdriver sound again. I can feel the pain. I start screaming. I keep screaming until my throat is raw. I'm pretty sure I can't talk anymore but that pain isn't going away. I'm going to have to tell the truth.

"I... I don't want to have everyone I love die. I don't want to be left alone because they're all dead." I whisper.

They nod and write something down.

"What were you doing the night of the Hunger Games?"

"Watching in my house with my Mom. I was afraid Katniss and Peeta were going to kill Finnick. No Johanna too. I was crying a lot too-"

"That's enough." The guard says annoyed.

"Why did you leave the Capitol. Why did you want to stay in District Four?" Someone else asks.

"Because Finnick told me to leave."

"Do you do everything Finnick tells you to do?"

"No." I say annoyed.

"Do you believe everything Finnick tells you." The other guard asks who has been silent this whole time.

"No." I say.

"Has Finnick ever lied to you?"

I snort.

"Of course." I say.

"What do you think Finnick lies about?"

"Normal stuff but I could tell he was lying about something big... he would always write things down… talk vaguely. I just know something isn't right. He always said he was protecting me. Maybe from all this." I say.

They like this answer.

"Do you know where Finnick might be?"

"I don't know. I just want him here. Even though he might hate me." I sob.

"Why would Finnick hate you?" Someone asks intrigued.

I tell them but I'm sobbing so hard they probably don't understand.

"Just move on." Nina says confused.

Someone sighs.

They ask me all these other questions they don't like most of the answers. I guess I'm too boring.

Everyone starts to leave until it is just Nina and myself.

"The drugs are almost out of your system so you might be able to lie but I feel like I should ask."

"Go ahead." I say.

"Have you Annie Cresta ever been sexually assaulted."

"Why are you asking this?" I say confused. I wonder if she knows those monsters did something to me.

"I'm just curious." She says gently.

"Finnick had this client named Cynthia I think she is dead now." I say but hear the screwdriver.

"Anything else?"

"Those dreams about Finnick but those were just dreams." I say and avoid her gaze.

"Anything else?" She asks. It sounds like she knows.

I swallow hard. Since the drugs are almost all gone I don't have to tell her.

I shake my head.

"No. Nothing." I say. I don't want to tell her this. Because I will see those men every single day and if they figure out I told someone. They would do something worse than they already did.

"Alright." She says. I can tell she doesn't believe me. I wonder why.


	173. Chapter 173

**Chapter 173**

I lay on my side and draw circles on the pavement.

My face is damp from crying all night long. Even when I fell asleep tears were still on my face.

I breathe in and out deeply.

I still don't have my underwear and I am sore all over. My stomach and shoulders are killing me that is where they were holding me down the most.

I still have a stinging in my lower pelvis. It is more of a burning.

I sniffle.

I just want to stay here and die. I don't want to go and get tested on I just want to stay put. And I never want to see those monsters again.

I hear my door open and pretended to be sleeping. I want to scream when I hear the voices.

"Can't believe you and Roberts did it without me." I hear someone complain.

"Right place, right time. Snow wants to give her a new uniform. Maybe you could be the one to give it to her." A monster says. "Besides, you have been hitting section 'B' pretty hard."

"But this is a victor." Maybe a new monster says.

"She was nice. She didn't fight back that much either but, there was something about the way she felt…"

"Finnick Odair is the love of her life. I'm sure he could explain it to you." The new monster says and snickers.

"She's as innocent as people say. Inexperienced which is why this is so fun." Monster says.

"With Finnick Odair being her lover I doubt that is true." The new monster says.

"Once you're with her you'll understand."

"There's no one around now. We could just take her." The new monster says.

"Sanchez is already suspicious you'll have to take her when you get the chance. Besides, she probably will be here for awhile."

"This is true."

I feel one of them kick me.

"Wake up." I feel a harder kick. "Wake up." I feel a hard kick.

"What?" I whisper.

"New test. Come Annie." I hear.

They both drag me to that hospital like room again.

The new monster locks my hands in place and then they head outside.

I still hurt all over. I have only hurt this much twice before. After I got out of the arena and after I fell off my Father's boat and got caught in a rip tide. Almost everyone in Four knows how to escape a riptide but when it happened to me I was only six and I panicked. I got pulled under relatively quickly and started drowning. The salty water kept filling my lungs until my Father jumped in and saved me. I didn't go swimming again until I was around eight. My muscles and lungs were so sore the next day. My Mother ordered me to stay in bed for a few days and I didn't mind.

This however is different. I didn't almost drown and I wasn't being strangled by someone, have a crushed leg, or being water logged. I'm being tortured. But the reason I hurt so badly today is because I was sexually assaulted. I was raped.

A tear leaks from my eyes as I think about that, that I was actually raped. I keep hoping it was a nightmare a very realistic one. However with my underwear missing and obvious pain in that area it is clear this wasn't a nightmare. It was real.

I breathe in and out deeply as I hear the door open.

I don't see Nina today it's a man. He's tall and has a strong build. He has a scar under his right eye and it looks like he has never smiled a day in his life. He is older probably in his fifties but he is in better shape. He could run a marathon easily.

"We're going for the color yellow today Miss. Cresta."

"I see." I mumble.

He nods.

"What's it do?" I ask.

"No idea." He says.

I roll my eyes.

"I'm not administrating the test."

"Then why are you here?" I ask nervously.

"I'm told this test can get messy. I'm here to hold you down if necessary." He says unamused.

We sit in silence until Nina comes into the room.

"Alright Annie today I'm just going to give you a shot. You'll probably become a bit hazy but don't find the urge just let it overcome you."

"But-" I say but feel the pinch and I think an IV hook up.

I do feel hazy. Their talking sounds like a completely different language. I blink several times until I can't keep my eyes open anymore and like Nina says I let it overcome me.

* * *

I wake up on the floor it's dusk. It's sunlight. I'm in my house in the village.

"What are you doing on the floor?" I hear Finnick ask.

"Finnick." I say and run towards him. "You're alive." I whisper and hug him tightly.

"Of course I'm alive. I know I was gone for a few minutes to go to my house but." He smiles.

I look around confused

"What?" He asks.

"My house isn't ash." I say confused.

"Yes I know." He smiles.

"But, it was on fire when I was captured. I think Demetrius burnt it. He also had my Mom at gun point. Finnick is she alright?" I say worried.

"Annie calm down. What's wrong?" He asks worried.

"I-I you." I squeeze him tightly. "I just missed you so much. I was having these terrible dreams." I say and start sobbing.

"They're not real Annie." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

"I know but it felt real. I was being held prisoner in the Capitol because there was a war going on. They were keeping me for questioning. They were running tests on me. They did terrible things to me Finnick." I say and start sobbing.

"It's okay Annie." He says and kisses the top of my head. "You're safe here with me. It wasn't real it was just some awful dream." He kisses my forehead.

I breathe in and out deeply.

"You're okay." He says and runs his hands up and down my back. I hug him tightly.

"You're really here." I whisper and he nods.

"I'm really here." He says and smiles. I smile back.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says and kisses me. He cups my face with his hands

It seems like a normal day. I sit in the garden I thought was destroyed. Finnick reads me passages of the book we are currently sharing and I am in a good enough mood that I let Finnick braid my hair. He even weaves flowers into it. He places the last flower behind my ear.

"I love you." He says and kisses me.

"I love you too." I say and look at my reflection in the fountain. Finnick did a nice job my hair is filled with all the flowers I love.

"Annie I love you. Which is why I'm sorry." He says and let's go of me.

"Why are you sorry?" I ask confused and kiss his cheek.

He has pain on his face.

"For this." He says and comes at me. He pushes me to the ground and gets on top of me. I feel his hands around my neck. "I'm so sorry Annie." He says sadly.

I move my hands to my neck to pry his off but it isn't working.

I feel my face getting hot. I can feel my heartbeat in my ears and it feels like my head is going to explode. Just like with Stevie in the arena.

It all goes dark.

I come up for air and am gasping.

I realize I'm not outside with Finnick anymore. I'm in a large lake, but something isn't right. The sky is an abnormal color.

"Over there." I hear and feel someone pull my feet. I feel my knee dislocate and scream. It's getting hard to swim. It's getting hard to breathe again. I get dunked and held underwater.

"Annie!" I hear and feel hands around me.

I cough and lots of water comes from my mouth. I feel like I'm chocking. I taste water but soap as well. I open my eyes and am in the bathroom. In my house. With Finnick standing above me.

"Were you trying to kill yourself?" He asks worried.

"No." I shake my head.

"Good because I thought you were going all Virginia Wolf on me." Virginia Wolf was a poet before our lifetime. She killed herself by drowning herself in a lake by her house. She did this by putting on a jacket and shoving the pockets with large stones. Her body wasn't found right away which makes me wonder how many people cared about this woman.

"I didn't put stones in my pockets. I'm not even wearing pockets." I smile.

"True." He says and kisses me.

I get a strange feeling.

"Something strange is going on Finnick." I say and look around confused.

"It's okay Annie." He says gently. "Why don't we get you out of there." He says and offers his hand.

"This seems familiar." I whisper.

"Annie, you okay?" He asks confused.

"I'm fine. I just want to finish. I don't feel like I'm clean yet." I say.

"Okay." He says. "Do you want me to leave?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"You can stay." I say. He does and watches me. I'm getting an unsettling feeling that something bad is about to happen.

I get out of the tub and reach for my pink towel but don't get the chance.

"Here." Finnick holds it out for me.

I step near him and he wraps the towel around me.

He kisses the top of my head.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says and kisses my shoulder. "So much."

Now I know why this feels familiar.

"So much." He says and kisses me again

"Finnick no." I say knowing what is going to happen. Because it happened before. I've had this dream before. I know he's going to take the towel off and shove me against the wall. Then throws me over the sink and do whatever he wants.

I usually wake up before he actually does anything. Which means this isn't real.

I squint my eyes shut. "This isn't real." I say as I feel his hands trace the towel "It's just a dream. This isn't real. I'm being held in the Capitol. This isn't real. You're not him. You're not Finnick. You're not Finnick!" I shout and everything goes black before anything terrible can happen.

"She figured it out." I hear and frantic beeping noises. I feel sweaty. "How did she figure it out?"

I hear questions and chaos fill the room.

"Give her room to breathe!" I hear someone shout and the room becomes quieter.

"She probably isn't awake yet."

"Why didn't we keep the trails going?" Someone says.

"Because she knew it was fake. She knew it wasn't him." Someone says calmly.

"Snow doesn't want us turning her. He doesn't think it's necessary right now." Someone says.

I must be in the Capitol. This was another one of their experiments.

"Then why are we doing this?" Someone asks.

"Please showing her this stuff isn't going to make her want to kill Finnick. It will confuse her enough to make her question if he will." Someone says.

Lots of people start talking I just want them to shut up and the pounding in my chest and head to go away.

I open my eyes and try to sit up but she I'm still restrained. I dry heave and end up throwing up all over myself.

* * *

I wake up and see I am just in my underwear. I'm in the same room but am no longer restrained.

I hear the door open and whimper. I curl into a ball scared that it might be one of the monsters to take advantage of me again.

"Annie." I hear Nina say.

"Go away!" I sob.

"Annie, I'm just going to give you a new uniform you vomited on the other one and Spiff seemed to rip it clean open when you were passed out. That's why you have new undergarments as well." Nina says gently.

"This Spiff did he… touch me?" I whisper.

She doesn't say anything.

"Let's just get you into some clothes. You get a better meal tonight, not some mush-"

"I don't care what you feed me! I don't care if you give me new clothes! I just want to go home!" I screech.

"Annie-"

"And I want to be told the truth about this Spiff guy."

"We haven't reviewed the tape yet but when we came into the room you were naked and his pants weren't fully zipped. But don't worry Annie-"

"Go away." I whisper.

"Annie-"

I take the outfit from her hand and shimmy the jumpsuit on.

"Go away or take me back to my cell."

"You're staying here for the night. Observation. I'll come back with your food." She says gently.

I roll on my side and push a pillow to my chest.

I start sobbing.

They let me see Finnick again. It felt so real but they made him try to kill me and assault me. Why would they do that? Are they going to think I will hate Finnick?

It doesn't matter because I'm too ashamed to face him again. Three men have…

"Let me go home." I sob and bang my head on the table. "I want to go home." I bang again. I hear the door open and feel myself get restrained. I can still move my head so I keep banging until I pass out.


	174. Chapter 174

**Chapter 174**

"Annie." I hear faintly. "Annie." I hear again. Then get a slap in the face.

"Ouch!" I say.

"Such a baby." I hear Johanna say.

"Why did you hit me?" I ask and see I'm in a different room. I notice Peeta is here as well and he looks terrible.

"Thought you would want to see this." She says and motions towards a screen. It's showing something televised. I get closer and see that Caesar Flickerman and Peeta are on the screen.

"Peeta welcome back." Caesar Flickerman says.

I look at Peeta and he is in the room but this is being televised as if it is live.

"This was the video he shot when we first got here?" I ask.

"Probably, you should ask him." Johanna snarls.

"Fine." I say and head towards him. I'm woozy and don't want to know why.

"Peeta." I say when I am next to him. I don't get an answer. "Peeta." I say again. I reach a hand and gently touch his shoulder. He looks very alert. He looks at me, as if he is going to attack me.

I take a few steps back alarmed.

"I'm Annie. I'm a victor. I'm not going to-"

"Annie." He smiles. "You're Finnick's Annie." He says.

I nod.

"That's nice." He says.

"I guess." I say confused. He sounds a bit too happy. "When did you film this?" I ask.

"Not long after we got here." He says looking at the screen.

"Why are they just showing this now?" I ask.

"Snow said it would only get shown if necessary, I guess it's necessary." He says and turns towards me he smiles. He looks about as bad as I do. I turn back towards the screen. I can feel Johanna's presences next to me.

"As bad as it makes you feel, you're going to have to do some killing, because in the arena, you only get one wish. And it's very costly." Peeta says telling Caesar what it's like in the arena.

Johanna and I don't have to say it we know the feeling. Knowing that you have to kill someone. I only killed two people but still, maybe if I didn't I might be dead.

"It costs your life." Caesar says matter of factly.

Johanna snorts.

It doesn't really just cost your life. After you win a part of you is dead inside. Because you know you just killed innocent people. Some innocent child. It doesn't just cost your life it costs-

"Everything you are." Peeta voices my thoughts.

"Nice job Peeta." Johanna smiles. "No one has ever heard what it is really like in an arena. Our boy Peeta is good at actually telling them." She smiles. She is true, no one has ever talked about what it was really like. Just the glory of winning it all. You can't talk about the truth because you will die or murdered rather.

"You were too caught up in Beetee's plan to electrify the salt lake." Caesar says.

"Salt lake." I smile.

"Must not know what an ocean is." Johanna smiles.

"I should have never let them separate us!" Peeta says he's getting aggressive.

"When you stayed at the lighting tree and Katniss and Johanna Mason took the coil of wire down to the water." Caesar clarifies.

"I didn't want to!" Peeta shouts.

"You didn't fight very hard to stay with her." Johanna smiles at Peeta.

"Johanna." I say. I wouldn't put it past him to punch her. After all she was involved in the break out plan. She was involved in Katniss being taken away.

"If I did fight too hard it would be obvious that I wanted to leave with her besides, Finnick could've easily just killed me or her for not doing what we were told." Peeta says.

"You clearly don't know Finnick Odair." Johanna smiles. "Right Annie?"

"Leave me out of this." I mutter and walk away from them."

"He is your friend right? So that makes you in it." Peeta snarls.

"He's not just her friend, he's her lover." Johanna smiles.

I feel my face getting hot and sit pretzel style on the floor.

"So she's just another belt loop." Peeta says and looks back towards the screen.

"Neither of us knew anything except that we were trying to keep each other alive!" Peeta shouts in Caesar's face.

"Wish I could say the same for you two." Peeta looks at us with disgust.

I open my mouth.

"That one sulking on the floor didn't know anything either. Finnick didn't want her to know. He wanted to protect her." Johanna says and Peeta looks at me strangely.

"We can stop now if you want." Caesar says.

"Was there more?" Peeta says annoyed.

"I was going to ask your thoughts on the war but if you're too upset..."

Peeta scoffs.

"Oh. I'm not too upset to answer that." It's strange watching him on TV and being next to him in person. They must have shot this soon after he was brought to the Capitol because I think I would be this upset as well. Now I understand what they meant for saving the video for later.

Peeta looks directly into the camera. "I want everyone watching - whether you're in the Capitol or the rebel side-

"Rebel side!" Johanna says annoyed.

"I want to hear this." I say.

"He's in the god damn room Annie." She says.

"Shut up." I say. She smirks, she likes this side to me.

"To stop for just a moment and think about what this war could mean. For human beings. We almost went extinct fighting one another before. Now our numbers are even fewer. Our conditions more tenuous. Is this really what we want to do? Kill ourselves off completely? In the hopes that, what? Some decent species will inherit the smoking remains of the earth?"

Caesar looks at him strangely.

"I'm not sure I'm following." He says.

"We can't fight another, Caesar, there won't be enough of us left to keep it going. If everybody doesn't lay down their weapons and I mean, as in very soon, it's all over, anyways."

I look at Peeta. In the video he's calling a cease fire. I wonder if he stills feels this way. He is very... passionate about this.

They say some other stuff then the anthem plays and the screen goes dark.

Johanna laughs.

"If you want people to save us, idiot, you have to make it look like you're on their side." Johanna snarls.

"It's the truth." Peeta says.

I look around and notice there aren't any guards in here but, there are shiny walls.

"They're watching from the other side." I whisper.

"Do you really still feel that way Peeta?" I ask softly.

"As I just told Johanna-"

"But you shot this before, I'm assuming right after you were brought here. They played on your emotions and you were angry. Peeta, do you really feel that way? It looks like they've been doing something to you. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life here? Do you really want to die here?" I say. I sound angry.

Johanna looks at me impressed.

Peeta laughs.

"I'm starting to wonder." His voice is raspy. It doesn't sound anything like in the video we were just watching. He almost doesn't sound human.

"Wonder what?" I say confused.

"If being alive matters. If being dead might be a lot easier." He says.

I look at Johanna and see she doesn't have anything to say.

"Peeta-" I get cut off.

"It's true. If we were dead we wouldn't be held here. We wouldn't be getting hurt. I don't know what they're doing to you Annie, but from the bruises around your neck I wouldn't say nothing." He says.

Johanna looks at me she is probably looking at my neck. I move my hair so she can't see. Someone was chocking me. I just don't remember when or who. I could've been passed out. All I know is it hurts terribly to talk and swallow.

A guard comes from one of the doors and drags Peeta away. I hear pleas of disapproval from him and then he leaves the room.

"They're watching you know." I say and motion towards the walls.

"I know." She says.

I look at her arm and see blood. I see small lines, they look like tally marks.

She follows my gaze.

"How many days we've been here." She explains. "If someone was going to rescue us they would've come by now. Besides, with Peeta's little video I doubt anyone will be coming for us. Maybe Peeta is right." I hear the door open. "Maybe we would be better dead." She says and fights the guards who come to take her away.

The doors close. I wait for someone to come for me but no one does.

I hear something drop from the ceiling and see it is food and a bottle of water. Looks like i will be staying here.

I walk closer and see there's also a note.

I pick up the piece of paper.

_That's the last you'll see of them. Ever_ It reads.

I look at it confused.

Does this mean they are going to kill them? Or does this mean they are going to kill me?


	175. Chapter 175

**Trigger warning contains themes of rape**

**Chapter 175**

"Mmmh." I moan. I feel sweaty.

I open my eyes and see I'm in the same room with the shiny walls.

I roll on my side. It's terribly hot in here. I can feel sweat roll down my temples just like condensation on a cold glass.

I don't remember it being this hot before.

I unzip my jumpsuit a little. Only a little. You can see my collar bone now. But, I'm hoping this will help.

I look around and expect to see some food or water and yet I see nothing.

I lie back down on the ground. It feels nice and cold.

After a few hours I hear the door open. I don't know who to expect I turn towards the door and see it is just a monster.

"Am I being moved?" I croak out.

"No bathroom privileges." I look at him strangely. "I don't have all day Miss. Cresta you can always defecate on the floor." He says annoyed.

I get up and he restrains my hands and leads me to the bathroom.

"Why is it so hot in there?" I ask.

"Hadn't realized. I'll tell someone." He says unamused. "You get ten minutes." He says and pushes me in the bathroom. I sit on the toilet.

I swallow hard as I hear the door open.

"Miss. Cresta." I hear him say.

"Has it been ten minutes." I yelp.

"No, just wanted to make sure you didn't try to escape." He says. I hear the door close as he leaves.

I relieve my self, wash my hands, and splash water on my face.

"You're okay." I whisper.

I leave the room and see the monster smiling at me.

"All done?" He says and grabs my arm.

He throws me back in my cell.

"I'll tell someone about the heat." He smiles strangely.

Thirty minutes later the door opens.

"Miss. Cresta it seems the furnace in this room is broken."

"I see." I say unamused.

"However we got permission to give you different clothes." He says. I turn towards him and see he is holding up a skimpy shirt and short shorts.

"I'm not that hot." I mutter.

"It's not a request. It's an order Miss. Cresta."

I swallow hard.

"No." I say.

"What?" He says taken aback.

"No. I'm not going to change for you." I say evenly.

He sighs and rolls his eyes.

He comes over towards me and pushes me against the wall. Then he pulls my jumpsuit down. I expect the worse but he doesn't do anything. He drops the new clothes in front of me and takes the jumpsuit and leaves.

I look at the door confused but am thankful he didn't touch me.

I put on the shirt then shorts. I don't like this. The shirt doesn't fit properly. It shows my midriff and presses tightly against my skin. Because of my bruised skin it hurts when I breathe. At least the jumpsuit was baggy. The shorts are alright. They are at least my size but an inch or two longer wouldn't have hurt.

I see myself on the reflective walls. This place almost looks like a fun house room expect I am being held prisoner.

I don't like looking at myself in the mirror. I can tell I have lost weight. My eyes are more sunken in and my skin is a bit saggy. My collar bone is more prominent and so is my rib cage.

That part doesn't bother me the bruises bother me. The cuts bother me. The blood bothers me. The dried blood is worse. Just a reminder.

I think about the fact that it has been a month and no one has come. That Peeta made it a harder case for them to come and get us. They probably think his words are treacherous. Although, he did give a few good points about how the human race will become extinct. However, I wouldn't call a cease fire just yet.

I keep thinking about my house and how it was being burnt to ash. I keep thinking about my mother.

My eyes water with tears.

I heard a gunshot but don't know where it came from. The District was crazy when I got taken away. That gunshot could've come from anywhere. But it did sound very close in range.

I shake my head trying to forget the memory.

I just want to know that she is safe. That Lana, Pearl, and Tiffany are safer well. I want them all to be safe. I don't want the ones I love to get hurt.

One thought that never leaves my mind is Finnick. Not if he is alive or even alright, that is in my mind, but the thing that never leaves is what will I say to him?

If I could have one thing right now it would be a shower. I want to know if the disgusting feeling I have will go away.

I don't know how I will face Finnick. I don't think I will ever be able to look him in the eyes again.

"How does he do it?" I whisper. How does Finnick face me. More times than not he has come home a broken soul. He rarely discusses it and I rarely ask. I usually only do when he comes home bleeding or terribly bruised. Right now I wish I never asked him because I know bow it feels.

Maybe Finnick could always face me because he does it to protect people. His brother, sister,grandmothers, and me. He endured all the sexual abuse to keep us safe. Even though it didn't work out for all of us that's why he endured it.

At least he had a reason knowing this is why it's happening. Instead of someone doing it because they could. Instead of being held down and have someone force their way into your body.

I bite my lip and slide down the shiny wall. I'm making a loud screeching noise but don't care.

I feel a tear drip off my nose.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply.

"They don't deserve your tears." I whisper as more roll down my face. I put my hands over my face. "Then why do they get them?" I whisper.

I make a curtain with my hair. I don't need the people on the opposite side of the wall to see me cry. If there are people even watching me right now. I wonder if this is a new test.

I don't know what this would accomplish.

* * *

"You are my sunshine… rainy day… don't take … away." I mumble over and over again.

I hear a ding and know I'm about to get a food drop. I go over to it and eat the food. They mostly give me energy bars and water. I actually miss the mush. I take the energy bar as I hear the door open. It's one of the monsters. The one who was very rough.

"Hello Annie." He says.

I nod.

"I have some questions I'm required to ask you." He says.

"Alright.." I say and he walks closer to me.

"What do you think of your staying arraignments?" He asks.

"Doesn't really matter to me." I mutter.

He nods.

"You saw the video Peeta Mellark made."

"Yes?" I say confused.

"Do you share similar thoughts?" He asks.

"I don't know what I think. I don't have enough information." I say.

He nods.

"It is a bit peculiar isn't it? That it's been so long and no one has even attempted to come and get you." He says with a smile.

"They probably have a reason." I say.

"Why do you think that would be?" He asks.

"They know it would be a lost cause." I say.

"What if they never come for you." He says and starts to come closer to me. "Honestly, Annie even if there is a rescue mission do you really think they would save you?"

"I-"

"You're the crazy girl. They don't need you for the rebellion. You're useless. They can use Johanna because she is strong. They can use Peeta because he has a way with words and I'm sure Katniss would love to see him again. What about you Annie? He says closer again.

"Finnick, Finnick cares about me." I whisper.

"Does he?" He smiles.

"Finnick will come to get me when the time is right. I know he will." I whisper.

"You don't sound too sure." He smiles and I am now against the wall.

"I know he will, because he needs me."

"Are you sure, maybe you just need him."

I shake my head.

"That's not true. Finnick cares about me."

"Really?" He says baffled.

I nod.

"Then why didn't they take you when the reduce squad came."

"You're bluffing." I say worried.

"Am I?" He smile.

"But I-" I whimper and feel confused. Would they really leave me behind?

I don't even realize what is going on until my underwear is around my ankles.

"No." I say.

"No one is going to come for you Annie." He whispers and pushes up my shirt.

"No!" I say and try to push him away but I realize he has tied me down to one of the poles.

"Because they don't care enough to save you. They must not care what happenes to you."

"They care. They wouldn't leave me behind."

"They did." He says and caresses me. I whimper.

"No they wouldn't. If they came back without me." His hands move down my stomach. "Then Finnick will kill himself." I whisper.

"I'm sure that's how you feel." He whispers.

"No I know him. He will and-" His hands start to invade me. "Stop." I whimper. I breathe in and out. He's starting to molest me, but all I can think about is if a rescue squad really did leave me behind. That is until I feel him massage a different area. An area I would never want to be touched.

"No." I whimper.

He kisses my butt cheek.

"Don't worry Annie it will great." The guy who's name I found out is Nash. He's the rough monster.

"No… No… No." I whisper tears streaming down my face.

I feel something cold and sticky all over my backside.

"No…" I sob loudly. "Don't touch me here." I whisper.

He kisses my butt cheek again and then bites down.

"No." I whimper. I try to move but I am tied down completely.

I scream loudly. All I feel is pain. I feel him touch me in other places but it doesn't compare to what else he is doing.

I keep crying but he slaps me and tells me to shut up or he will make it worse. I don't know how he can make this worse.

I can't stop crying but I do stop screaming.

I don't know how long this monster does this but, when he does stop all I feel is pain.

I start sobbing loudly.

I feel a kiss on the back of my neck. He doesn't stop there. I barely feel his hands because I'm crying so hard.

"You're wonderful Annie." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

He doesn't untie me but, leaves here. Humiliated.

I hear the food bell drop and moan. I wonder why he wanted to keep me tied down but I don't care. Even though this might make things worse I manage to untie the knots.

I don't move I just collapse to the floor.

I sniffle.

I can't move. I'm in too much pain and too ashamed.

I hear the door open but don't care who it is. I don't even care when I feel them on top of me. I just lay here. I just lay here and black out.

* * *

When I awaken I see I'm in a different room. It resembles a small bedroom. I hope Nash didn't drag me back to his living quarters.

I look down and see I'm in a normal jumpsuit and have a blanket wrapped around me. This bed is comfortable which makes me worry.

I hear the door open and my muscles lock into place.

"Hello Miss. Cresta." I hear a man say. The voice is familiar.

"What?" I whimper.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He says.

"That's what all those monsters said. They said they wouldn't hurt me." I feel tears run down my cheek. "They said they would make me feel good." I sniffle. "They didn't make me feel good." I sob.

He nods.

"I can take care of Nash, Spiff, and Roberts." He says.

"I don't care what you do to them. I don't care what you do to me." I sniffle. "Maybe Peeta's right."

"Excuse me?" He says confused.

"That being dead would be much better." I whisper.

"Don't think like that Miss. Cresta. Things will be looking up soon." He smiles.

"Who are you?" I whisper.

"My name is Sanchez and I'm going to make sure you don't get changed." He says.

"Changed?" I whisper.

He nods.

"I just wish I could say the same for Peeta." He says sadly.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"You'll see." He says.

I look at him strangely. I wonder what he means by changed.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Just a quick question does anyone think I should change my rating to 'M'? I have a hard time judging if I should change my ratings. I don't want to offend anyone. Message me or leave it in a review. Thanks again for reading!**

**-Susan.**


	176. Chapter 176

**Chapter 176**

I open my eyes to a beeping noise

I look up and see the television screen is making the noise. It's playing some type of video. A red light above the the television starts to flash.

"What's that?" I ask Sanchez.

He puts his hand up to silence me.

I look at the screen and see it is Peeta and Caesar again.

"They're using her obviously." Peeta says.

Peeta looks much worse from when I saw him that day where we watched the first video together. When he called for a cease fire. That wasn't that long ago. I wonder if this has to do with the change Sanchez was talking about.

"I doubt she even really knows what's going on in the war. What's at stake." Peeta says.

"Is there anything you wish to tell her?" Caesar says a bit too cheery.

"There is." He says and looks directly into the camera. "Don't be a fool Katniss. Think for yourself. They've turned you into a weapon that could be instrumental in the destruction of humanity. If you've got any real influence, use it to put the brakes on this thing. Use it to stop the war before it's too late. Ask yourself, do you really trust the people you're working with? Do you really know what's going on? And if you don't... find out" Peeta says and then the Capitol seal follows.

I look towards Sanchez wondering what he will say.

"How do you feel?" He just asks instead.

"Peachy keen." I say unamused.

He smiles and reaches a hand towards me but I back away quickly. He moves his ebony hand away, probably realizing what he has done wrong.

"Nina wants to look at you." He says.

"Well that's too bad." I mutter.

"Miss. Cresta-"

"What was that video?" I ask changing the subject.

"A message to Miss. Everdeen."

"What did he mean, about her being a weapon?" I ask.

"Miss. Cresta you aren't stupid." He says.

I scoff.

"I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just saying you saw the effect Katniss had after the 74th Hunger Games. You saw her in the arena for the 75th. She inspires Miss. Cresta. I'm sure you have had discussions with this before. Possibly with Mr. Odair." He says.

"Finnick liked keeping to himself on this topic." I whisper.

"So you never talked about her, ever?" He smiles knowing the answer.

"Yes but, just the obvious... nothing about a war."

He nods

"Katniss doesn't mean to inspire." I look at the now black screen.

"Possibly." He says. "There isn't anything that can be done about that now."

"Do you know what is going on, outside these walls?" I ask thinking of what Peeta said.

"I do." He says. I can tell he isn't going to elaborate on that. No matter how friendly he is acting towards me he is still the enemy. He is still a part of my captors even though he seems different. "As I was saying Nina wants to look at you. When I came to your cell you weren't in a good condition. You were passed out for two days. You need to be looked at."

I sigh.

"Why do you care?" I whisper.

"Because I don't want you to die." He says and stands up.

"Sanchez." I say.

"Yes."

"What are they doing to Peeta?" I whisper.

"I don't know exactly." He says and holds out his hand.

"Are you lying to me?" I ask.

"I know the basic objection or goal rather. However to the extent of what they are doing to him I do not know. I'm not on his case. I'm a squad leader." He says. I open my mouth to ask what that is but he doesn't let me. "You need to see Nina." He says gently.

I swallow hard.

"Fine." I mutter and take his hand.

He restrains me but not forcefully I get the feeling it is more for show.

I go into a hospital like room and see Nina is waiting for me.

"Annie." She says.

"Let's just get this over with." I mutter. I'm tired of being naked in front of strangers.

"Sanchez may you step out?" Nina asks.

"Of course. Take your time." He does a small bow then leaves, probably to stand outside.

She zips down my jumpsuit and looks at my stomach and chest. She grabs some cream and spreads it over my cuts. I wince at her touch.

"I'm sorry-"

"I don't care." I mumble.

She puts down the cream and looks at me awkwardly.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You need to… Sanchez said you were hurt." She points to her crotch.

"Probably." I whisper. "It hurts when I sit down." I whisper.

She nods.

"I can look if you want." She says.

"I don't want you to look but I think maybe you should." I whisper.

She does and it burns when she touches me. She is wearing gloves this time.

"I'm sorry Annie. I'm almost finished." She whispers and stops. "There are some tears but you should be alright. You might have an infection but I can't get access to those tests right now." She says.

"What like an STD?" I whisper.

"It's possible." She says gently and removes her gloves.

I breathe in and out deeply. I don't want to cry.

"Look up for me." She says and I do. "Your bruises should heal soon." She moves hair off my shoulders and looks at my neck. She touches my neck and I flinch away. "I don't think your vocal cords are damaged." She says. "Alright you're okay if you feel discomfort tell Sanchez and he will let you see me." She smiles.

"Whatever." I say and get dressed.

"Do you want to talk about this Annie?" She asks.

"No. I don't want to talk about this with anyone. Ever." I whimper.

"Alright." She says. I can tell she wants to add something but knows she doesn't have that right.

I hold out my hands to be taken where they want me.

Nina leads me back outside to a waiting Sanchez.

Sanchez doesn't take me back to the previous room which doesn't surprise me, because I'm almost certain that room is his.

He does take me to a cell. It's in hallway 'A' again but the room is more concealed. You can still see into my cell but not as much. Maybe because it is in the corner. There is only one other person and they are across from me.

"I'm you're sole guard Miss. Cresta." Sanchez says and walks me into the cell. He closes the door and walks outside.

I wonder if I can trust Sanchez. He is nicer than the other guards but, he still is a guard. He still wears that blue outfit it looks nice against his dark skin. He stills wears the blue outfit those monsters did. Even though he is a 'squad leader' that doesn't mean anything to me.

I sit down on the floor and think of the video Peeta made presumably just for Katniss. I wonder how much Katniss does know about the war or Finnick. From that video they must know Katniss is alive or they think she is. That must mean Finnick is as well.

One thing does bother me about the videos and it's not how Peeta looks. It's that every time he opens his mouth we are one step further away from being rescued.


	177. Chapter 177

**Chapter 177**

I hear my cell open and roll over.

"Bathroom privilege Miss. Cresta." I hear Sanchez say.

I stand up and he escorts me.

"Ten minutes." He says and closes the door.

I breathe in and out deeply.

I don't really have to go to the bathroom when I get taken. I don't have to at all. That is the least of my worries at the moment.

I close my eyes. I feel at peace until I hear the door open.

"Miss. Cresta you have only two minutes left." Sanchez says.

I swallow hard, stand up and wash my hands.

I go back outside and get taken to my cell. I sit down and lean against the glass wall.

I hear my door open but don't bother moving.

I feel someone sit next to me.

I look up and see it is Sanchez.

"Come to take me somewhere?" I whisper.

"No." He says.

"What do you want?" I ask and my voice cracks worried he is going to put his hands on me.

"To make sure you're all right."

"I'm great. I'm trapped in the Capitol. There's apparently a war going on." I put my hands over my face. "And other stuff." I say and he nods.

"Miss. Cresta." He says.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"Do you know what happens to birds when they have a broken wing?" He asks.

"They can't fly." I mutter.

"Exactly."

I look at him strangely. I'm about to ask what he means but get cut off by the flashing red lights.

"Another television program?" I whisper.

"Yes." He says confused. "But, there shouldn't be." He heads to the hallway with the screens.

They are showing President Snow and Peeta. A very worse Peeta. It's so bad that I'm worried for him. I'm worried how they could change someone in such a small period of time.

"Sanchez, Peeta-" He puts his hand up to silence me.

Peeta and Snow talk about terrible events that have happened in the districts. I wonder if they are true. from Sanchez's composed nature I'm assuming they all are.

Peeta is about to say something else when the image changes and I see Katniss walking around in ruins. It switches back to Snow and Peeta, but soon changes and I hear Finnick's voice. He's talking about that little girl, Rue.

It then shows Katniss and a male blowing up hovercrafts with arrows. Surrounding them is fire and ash.

It flashes back to Snow and Peeta and I hear chaos on all around them.

"What is this?" I whisper as I hear someone sing a very haunting song.

'_Are you. Are you. Coming to the tree. Wear a necklace of rope. Side by side with me.'_

The feed changes back to Snow and Peeta. Snow is visibly angry but Peeta looks distraught.

Snow talks about how justice will prevail from the current rebel attacks.

"Have anything to add about Katnisa Everdeen?" Snow asks Peeta through gritted teeth.

Peeta looks at the camera. He looks so lost.

"Katniss…how do you think this will end? What will be left? No is safe. Not in the Capitol. Not in the districts. And you… in Thirteen…" Peeta takes a deep breath and he looks deranged. I wonder what he is about to say. "Dead by morning!" He shouts.

"End it!" Snow shouts but the camera doesn't cut out you can still see Peeta, getting beaten bloody.

I look away from the screen I know other things are being shown but I don't need to see Peeta getting beaten.

What did he mean? Thirteen? Dead by morning?

"What was all that?" I whisper. I don't expect an answer so I'm surprised when I hear Sanchez's voice.

"That Annie, was an attack."

"Of course it was, they're beating Peeta senseless." I say.

"Not him. The clips. They have been playing those in almost every district. This is the first time they have made ground in the Capitol." He says.

"So what? You're saying the rebels or, whatever are saying we can get to you?"

Sanchez smiles.

"Something to that effect."

It's silent.

"What did you mean earlier? About a broken wing?" I ask.

"Ahh. Yes. I think we might have our broken bird." He says.

"Who? You mean Katniss?" I say confused.

"She is the mockingjay. If she's broken. She might not continue. She might not be able to fly again."

"So?" I say somewhere between annoyed and confused.

"So, that means they're going to try and fix that wing so she can fly again."

I look at him confused because I don't want to say so again.

He smiles.

"They're going to give Katniss what she has wanted, since the beginning."

I raise my eyebrows and shake my head. I still don't understand.

"Miss. Cresta. It means they are going to be coming for Peeta. And you. Soon." He smiles.


	178. Chapter 178

**Chapter 178**

"So are you gonna run to Snow and tell him this?" I ask annoyed.

"Snow is a smart man. He is playing Katniss right now. He's expected this from the beginning. That's why most of those messages are to Katniss directly."

"The whole country can see them." I say.

"But they are directed at her. They are meant for her. Peeta is talking to her." He says and stands up.

"Sanchez wait." I say.

"Yes, Miss Cresta?" He says.

"Can I trust you?"

"Compared to the others you have faced in here, yes I believe you can." He says and the door closes.

* * *

The red lights flash again to warn us a televised event is going to be shown.

I see the projection on the wall don't really care to listen that is until I hear him.

I press my hands to the glass cell like a child at the zoo.

"What are they doing to you?" I whisper at Finnick's image. It is almost as if it is a resemblance of him by how dead he looks.

His face is sunken in and he has dark circles under his eyes. His eyes aren't focusing on anything but I can tell he is trying to look directly into the camera.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"President Snow used to sell me… my body, that is."

"Finnick." I whisper.

Finnick hates talking about this stuff. But here he is vomiting all he knows. All the secrets he's heard to most of the country. Some of the things he is saying I have never heard.

The feed cuts in and out but I can hear most of Finnick's stories. Not that I care. My eyes are staying on his chapped lips, his dead eyes, and the nervous tick in his right hand.

I hear my door open and feel Sanchez's hand on my arm.

"Am I being moved?" I ask.

"Yes." He says and takes something out of his holster.

"What are you-"

"There isn't much time Miss. Cresta. That broadcast is a distraction. There is a rescue plan. Tonight."

"But-"

"If you aren't in the right spot they will leave you behind Annie. The prison is too big. That's why you were moved around so many times in the beginning. They know where to look for Johanna and Peeta because they are in the main section where most of the known rebels are getting tortured." He pushes us through a door. "You need to go there. Now."

"But-"

He loads his gun.

"I'll try and get you as far as possible. I have a feeling I won't be able to take you the whole way."

"Why-"

"If I can't move on Miss. Cresta. Take my gun with you. Find Nina. She's supposed to be in hallway 1A7. That's the same hallway Peeta is in."

"Why can't you take me there?" I ask out of breath. He is more pulling me through the halls because I can't keep up.

"In case I can't take you all the way." He says matter of factly.

"Why?" I ask confused.

"I'll be murdered for being a traitor in a situation like this all squad leaders are supposed to report. When I don't show up it will mean one of two things. One, I'm dead. Two, I'm a traitor. Then I will be killed."

I feel a shake from the building then a loud blaring siren and yellow lights flash everywhere.

"Do you know how to use a gun Miss. Cresta?" He asks.

"No." I say.

"Point it and then pull this part." He says. "It will help if you have good aim." He says.

"I'm alright at archery."

"That might help in this case." Another shake followed by louder sirens.

I see guards and peacekeepers running in all different directions.

The power goes out. I hear doors open and chaos.

"All the cells are locked by electricity." Sanchez explains and heads to a stair well that is almost deserted.

"How many floors away is it?" I ask.

"Seven. I could carry you Miss. Cresta."

"That would just slow us down. Besides, I can run."

Another shake I hear gunshots the hire we climb the stairs. We get to the right floor and Sanchez opens the door. I hear gunshots immediately and see his body fall to the floor.

I kneel down next to him.

"Annie." He says disoriented.

"I'm here." I say.

"Go… go." He says but stands up and start dragging me somewhere.

I see people in protective black fighting suits. I think this might be the rescue team.

"Annie!" I hear someone shout.

"Finnick." I whisper wondering if he came with with them.

"Annie." I hear again. It's not Finnick its Nina.

"Nina!" I shout and hear frantic footsteps and see gas.

I feel myself being tackled to the ground.

"Get up. Get up." Nina says frantically.

"Is it poison?" I ask confused.

" No but a bullet will do the trick." She says and ducks. "Sanchez?" She looks towards him.

"I've been through worse. We need to get Miss. Cresta on the hovercraft." He says.

"Let me go!" I hear someone shout. It sounds like Johanna.

Nina grips my hand and starts to lead us down the hallway of chaos.

"Take her!" I hear Nina shout and push me into someone's arms.

"But Nina-"

"That's Finnick's girl Boggs. If you leave her his blood will be on your hands." Nina says. Looks like she knows Finnick after all.

I feel this Boggs' arms around me and am then lifted onto the hovercraft.

I'm breathing in and out rapidly. I notice barely anyone else is in here.

I stand up and look around frantically.

I hear more people start to get on.

"Sit down Miss. Cresta." I hear someone say.

I do.

I lean against the wall and soon the hovercraft starts to fill with injured soldiers and the people who used to be prisoners.

I feel the hovercraft start to rise and feel someone put their arm around me.

"Finnick." I say but it's only Nina.

"He's safe. He's in District 13."

I nod. I'm shaking.

"You really were playing both sides." I say and wipe away my tears.

"Yes." She says.

I scoot away from her.

"You still tortured me though."

"Annie-"

"I know why but, I can never trust you or forgive you for that." I say and she nods.

I hear moans and groans of pain.

"Where's Sanchez?" I ask looking around.

"Getting treated. He'll probably make it." She says.

I nod and swallow hard. I close my eyes.

I feel Nina mess with my outfit.

I open my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I ask alarmed.

"The first thing Finnick sees of you shouldn't be signs of strangulation." She says gently.

I nod.

I don't know if anyone is following us or not but I'm too worried to care. I could be going to some safe place but I could die on the way there.

I can tell some of the people here are injured and some of them will die.

I press my knees to my chest and rock back and forth.

I close my eyes.

_One. Two. Three. One. Two. Three. One. Two. Three. One. Two. Three. _I think over and over again.

I hear a screeching noise and feel it land.

I lift my head from my lap and we start to unload. We are all getting shuffled to the hospital. They were obviously ready for this. They did set out the rescue mission after all.

I look around and see that we are in what looks like underground tunnels.

We get to the hospital and I get handed off to a nurse.

"I don't see anything wrong with you but I need to make sure. Disrobe and put on this hospital gown please." She says so casually. I'm tired of being told to disrobe. She hands me a bed sheet "You can use this to cover yourself." She smiles. That does make me feel better. I wrap it around myself and start to take off the white jumpsuit.

The nurse is talking to me but I am not listening because I'm wondering if Finnick is here. I'm wondering where he is.

The nurse says something and shakes my shoulder but I don't care because I know I'm fine. Physically anyways.

Then I see Finnick. He's holding Katniss' hand like a lost child.

"Finnick!" I shout with relief and joy.

My legs start moving before I tell them to. He let's go of Katniss' hand and I run into his arms. We were both moving quickly causing us to loose balance and slam into a wall. Neither of us seem to care or know what is going on around us. It is just me and him.

I hold onto him tightly. My limbs are shaking but I don't care.

"Finnick." I keep whispering.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you need-"

"I'm okay Finnick. I've got you." I whisper.

I can tell he doesn't look okay. Then again I probably look the same way. Tired. Crazed look in the eyes.

"Are okay?" I ask Finnick.

"I am now." He whispers and grasps me tighter. Almost too tight but right now I don't care.

I look up and kiss him softly. After we break apart we look into each other's eyes.

"You're okay." We both say and start crying.

I'm back in Finnick's arms and I'm never going to let go of him again.


	179. Chapter 179

**Chapter 179**

"Annie." Finnick whispers and kisses my forehead.

"Finnick." I say with a smile.

Finnick looks me up and down.

"I know you're not used to the attire here Annie but I don't think a bedsheets is suitable." He teases but I swallow hard.

"They're probably going to get you into a jumpsuit after they examine you."

"Jumpsuit?" I ask worried thinking of those white ones they made us wear. Those jumpsuits got torn off my body.

"Yeah." He motions towards himself. I just now realize he is wearing a glum gray jumpsuit.

"Oh." I say.

"You okay?" Finnick asks worried.

"I-"

"Miss, even though you seem fine you should get looked at." I hear a nurse say and suddenly feel someone dragging me away.

"Finnick!" I shout.

"I'm right here Annie." He says.

This person is gripping me tightly.

My vision is changing. I keep seeing myself back in the Capitol. Back with those needles and back with those monsters.

"No! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" I shout.

"Annie?" Finnick says worried.

"Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!" I shout and feel a pinch.

* * *

"Mmh" I moan and open my eyes.

I see I'm in a hospital room but more importantly I see a distressed Finnick across from me. He has his hands over his face. and is mumbling something.

I notice all the things hooked up to me, in both arms and there's something on my head. I start screaming. I start ripping them out vigorously.

"Get it off!" I sob. "Get it off!" I sob. I hear loud beeping noises from the removal but don't care.

I feel hands around me. They are rough but the touch is gentle.

"Annie." I hear. I look up at Finnick. I can tell he was crying.

"Your hands." I say. My voice sounds so strange. So weak.

"What about them?" He asks running his thumb across my cheek bone.

"They're so rough." I say and take his hand off my face and hold it. He has many calluses and some are cracked and bleeding.

"I was tying things." He whispers. "I needed to..." He looks at me. "I needed a distraction." He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"What am I doing here?" I hear as a door opens.

"You need those attached Miss." A nurse says.

"No." I say and push her away. "No! Get away from me! You're going to hurt me! Stop! Stop it!" I screech.

I hear whispering and then feel something stick me. I'm still awake but am woozy. You can't really talk to me. It's almost as if I'm in a coma.

"Annie." I hear a deformed voice say. I can actually see sounds. They are beautiful colors. I wonder if I'm high. I feel lips on my forehead and flinch away. "I love you." I hear the morphed voice say. I think it's Finnick. Who else would be telling me this?

I can feel the tubes and needles are in my arms still. I try to take them off but, I think I am restrained. Possibly tied down to the bed.

I make a moaning noise.

I feel someone hold my hand and kiss my forehead.

"Just put her under." I hear the voice say sadly.

* * *

I jump and breathe in deeply.

I look around and see I'm in the same room but don't see anything hooked up to me except a heart beat monitor. I also don't see Finnick.

"Annie." I hear and turn towards the door. It's someone I'm not familiar with. They are wearing a strange gray jumpsuit

"Where's Finnick?" I ask worried.

"He's alright."

"Then why isn't he here, did he leave?" I whimper.

"No, he was forcibly removed." She says like it is no big deal.

"Why did you get rid of him?" I sob.

"Because of a recent event that happened between Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen." They say.

"What event? What happened to them? Are they alive?" I ask worried.

"They… are alive" She says vaguely. "You just need to be put under observation for a few days, a week at the most.

"But-"

"It will be alright Miss. Cresta now-"

"But Finnick-"

"Now we might show you some clips or videos of-"

"I need to see Finnick, now!" I shout.

They look at me strangely.

"No." She says matter of factly.

I rip off the heart monitor and stand up. I feel a bit woozy.

"Miss. Cresta you should stay seated." She says.

"No." I say and stumble from the hospital room. "Finnick!" I shout. "Finnick!" I shout again but soon feel hands around me. "No let go of me! Let go of me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" I sob.

"Annie." I hear and feel arms around me. Gentle arms. A hug. Finnick.

"I can take care of her if anything happens." I hear Finnick say and kiss my temple.

"Mr. Odair what with Mr. Mellark, I think it would be best to have Miss. Cresta-"

"Annie's fine." He kisses the top of my head. "She isn't going to hurt me." He kisses my cheek. "And if she tries." He smooths my hair. "I can protect myself." He says sadly.

Someone groans.

"Just let them go. Miss. Cresta does still need to be hospitalized but Mr. Odair can be with her." Someone else says annoyed.

"Let's go." Finnick says gently and leads me back to my room. A nurse hooks up the heart monitor and reaches for an IV but I back away. She sighs annoyed then leaves.

"Come here." I whisper to Finnick and he does. He gets in the small bed with me and holds me. I start crying. I don't know why but I do.

Finnick smooths my hair and kisses my temple.

"Finnick." I say after awhile.

"Yes." He says.

I sniff.

"Do you know what they are talking about? I mean, with Katniss and Peeta?"

Finnick nods.

"They did something to him in the Capitol. They changed him. He tried to kill Katniss." Finnick says gently. He sounds sad. Of course he would be. Anyone with a heart would be.

"Is that why they want to keep you away from me? Because they think I'll kill you?"

Finnick smooths my hair.

"Yes." He kisses my cheek. "But I know that's not true." He says.

I nod.

It silent for a long time.

"Annie, these people in the hospital, they aren't going to hurt you." He says gently.

I move closer into my pillow and feel tears drip down my face and land on the cheap linen.

Finnick kisses the back of my head.

"I love you so much." He whispers.

"I love you too." I whisper and squeeze his hand.

Finnick moves his head and rests it in my shoulder.

I breathe in and out deeply. Something feels different. Something isn't right.

"Those monsters." I whisper.

"What was that Annie?" He says and kisses my cheek.

I sniffle and turn towards him. I lean my forehead against his.

"I love you so much." I whisper. "I love you." I sob. "Finnick." I sob.

"What?" He asks worried and confused.

"When I was in the Capitol." I say but just start sobbing. I want to tell him but I don't think I can.

"Shhhh." He says and strokes my hair. "You're not ready to talk about this yet. You can tell me when you are." He says.

He's right. I'm not ready to talk about this. I never want to talk about this. But I know I will have to. Soon. Because lying next to Finnick doesn't feel the same. I feel safe but I also feel a pang of guilt and worry.


	180. Chapter 180

**Chapter 180**

I wake up and see Finnick next to me.

I smile.

"Finnick." I whisper and kiss the top of his head.

He moans and rolls over, causing the hospital bed to shake a little.

I smile at least that hasn't changed. Finnick still a grouchy mess in the morning.

I hear the door open and also a banging noise like a cart. I turn towards it and see it is an orderly with some food.

He smiles and leaves it by the bed. I notice there is enough for Finnick too.

"Finnick." I say and kiss the top of his head.

"Mmmh." He moans.

"Finnick there's food." I say and kiss his cheek.

Finnick opens his eyes at this statement and I roll my eyes

"Good morning beautiful." Finnick whispers and I smile. He kisses the tip of my nose.

"You're not so grouchy here." I smile.

"That's because you're here." He wraps his arms tightly around me. "I love you so much." He says and kisses my cheek and smiles.

"I love you too. There's food." I say and motion towards the tray

He rolls his eyes.

"That's what they call it but, it's not that great. I think it is barely food." He smiles as he moves the tray over and I adjust the bed.

"Well compared to the mush they gave me... in the..." I swallow hard at the thought.

Finnick rubs my back.

"I'm right here." Finnick whispers.

I nod.

"Okay." I whisper and lean against him.

He picks up a spoon and dips it in what looks like jello.

He starts moving the spoon towards me.

"Finnick you don't need to feed me." I smile and look up at him.

"Thought I'd give it a try." He teases and brings the jello to his lips and slurps it down.

"Very attractive." I tease.

"Everything I do is attractive." He smiles.

I hug him.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says and kisses the top of my head. "I always will. That will never change."

"I know." I giggle which I'm surprised by. I still feel pretty crappy. Mentally and physically but right now I feel okay. I guess I just needed idiot Finnick.

"I love you so much and I'm glad I'm seeing you. Hearing you. I'm glad you're alright." He says and runs his fingers through my hair.

I swallow hard. I'm technically alright. He just doesn't know everything and I don't want him to.

"I feel the same way about you." I say.

He keeps running his fingers through my hair.

I lean in to kiss him but the door opens and I scream.

"It's okay." He kisses my cheek. "No one is going to hurt you here." He whispers.

"Mr. Odair." I hear the person say. They sound official.

Finnick turns towards them

"You should be leaving soon. You have a big day in the-"

"Don't leave!" I end up shouting and hold onto Finnick tightly.

I hear Finnick intake his breath from pain. I'm holding on too tight. But I don't care.

Everything seemed alright for a moment but, then it had to be shattered by something Finnick is supposed to be doing.

I start crying.

"We can just put her under." The person says.

"Noooo!" I sob and grasp Finnick tighter. I think my nails are digging into his skin.

"Can't I just stay with her? Just until she leaves the hospital?" Finnick asks. But, it sounds like he knows the answer.

"Mr. Odair this is a direct order from President Coin."

"I can't leave her." I hear him whisper. I think only for me to hear.

He kisses my forehead and looks at me sadly.

"I will be right back Annie I-"

"Noooo!" I yell. "I won't let you go."

"Annie relax." He kisses my forehead. "I'm going to talk to Coin. She will see I need to be with you. I do."

"Don't leave!" I sob again.

"Annie. She's in charge here. I-"

"Nooo! I don't care! Please stay with me!"

"I'm sorry Annie. I need to." He says. I can see the pain in his eyes.

"But-"

I feel hazy and realize pain medication is being pumped into my arm.

"No! No!" I say but my speech is becoming slurred and my vision is blurry until it goes completely dark.

* * *

I blot awake screaming. I hear at least a dozen monitors going off. I look at all the things connected to me and start crying.

"Get off!" I shout and start pulling them out.

"Just put her under again. Mr. Odair is still with our President."

I only manage to pull a few tubes out when I pass out.

* * *

I wake up but don't scream this time on the off chance they will put me under again.

I roll on my side. I have a thick layer of sweat on my body and am shaking. Even though I am 'safe' I still don't feel it.

I sniffle and have tears roll down my face.

I hear a door open and pretend to be asleep.

"Annie." I hear. "Annie it's Finnick." He says.

I make a whimpering noise and Finnick gets in the bed with me.

"It's okay. I'm here now. I have gotten excused from my schedule for a little bit." He strokes my hair. "Everything is going to be alright."

"You left." I whisper.

"Annie-"

"You left and I needed you." I say and start sobbing.

"Annie. I had to, Coin is in charge here."

"So? What will she kill you?" I ask.

It's silent for a few minutes.

"I don't know. There's something about her I don't trust."

"Why?" I whisper.

"It would be easier if you met." He says and kisses my forehead.

"You left." I say again and again.

"I'm sorry." He says. "I am." He says and kisses the top of my head.

I keep crying. I stop saying he left and just cry. It isn't because Finnick left it's because I'm in a strange place I don't know. I might have Finnick back, but I really just want to go home.

"Annie." He says and I sniffle.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." He says with regret.

"I know… I just want to go home." I say.

"We can't, not yet." He says sadly.

"Why not?" I whisper.

"It's too dangerous, besides I think we are more helpful here."

"You can't leave me. I won't let you." I say. In case he wants to go out there. I just got him back. I can't lose him again.

"I know. I won't leave you." He says and kisses my cheek.

I take his hand that is wrapped around my waist and move it to my cheek.

I shiver from crying so much.

"It's okay." Finnick whispers and kisses my cheek.

"You can't leave me." I say again. Finnick has a strange look in his eyes.

"I know." He whispers and kisses the top of my head. "I'm not going to."


	181. Chapter 181

**Chapter 181**

"No! No! No!" I sob. "No! No!" I shout at the monster. "Why do you like this? What did I do to you?"

I scream and scream and scream. I see the light flicker on.

"Annie?" I hear Finnick say confused.

I'm thrashing around and the sheets are going up in the air.

"Annie?" Finnick says worried.

"No! No!" I sob.

I stop thrashing and whimper. I curl up in a ball and cry.

"What's wrong?" He asks scared. I've never acted like this before.

"Do. Not. Touch. Me." I say. Finnick scoots far away.

"It's okay Annie, it was just a nightmare. It, it wasn't real." He says gently.

"Yes it was." I whimper and scoot closer to the wall.

"Annie." Finnick says sadly.

"I want to sleep alone." I whisper. Our compartment has two beds. I only stayed in the hospital a week. I think it was supposed to be longer but Finnick got me to leave.

I haven't been around District 13 much. I barely leave our room. Mostly because this place frightens me. I usually only leave our compartment for meals and Finnick is always by my side.

"Annie." Finnick says hurt.

"Just please go away." I whisper. I still haven't told him what happened in the Capitol. I don't know how to start that conversation. My throat tightens at the thought.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I sob. I feel a loss of body heat and hear him get into the other bed.

I can't hold back sobs but I try. I don't want Finnick to hear my chorus of crying. I know I am already hurting him.

I hug the pillow Finnick was lying on and push it towards me. It makes me feel better.

I close my eyes and fall asleep.

* * *

I feel a gentle shake and turn over.

I open my eyes and see Finnick.

"I'm leaving for training. You can meet me at noon for lunch. Do you remember where the cafeteria is?" He says and runs his fingers through my hair.

I nod. I still don't understand what he does and I don't want to ask. The word 'training' frightens me enough.

I don't have a schedule because they still think I'm mentally unstable. I have a bracelet and everything. The only reason I'm not in the hospital is because Finnick said if I stayed there it would make it worse. Which is true.

"Okay." He leans in. I think to kiss me but he stops, probably remembering last night. "I love you." He says and pats my head instead.

"I love you too Finnick." I say.

He smiles then leaves.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply. I could tell I hurt him but, he isn't going to say anything.

I stay in bed until eleven thirty. I don't bother showering, I just head to the cafeteria. I vaguely remember where it is. I just follow most of the population and find my way.

I wait outside for Finnick. I rock back and forth on my heels.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and jump.

"It's just me Annie." I hear Finnick say gently.

"Finnick." I whisper and hug him.

Finnick is shocked by this so his body is stiff.

"You're okay." He whispers and rests his chin on top of my head.

I swallow hard then let go and he backs off. I grab his hand anyways and we head to the cafeteria.

"Annie?" Finnick whispers after we are finished.

"Yes?" I say just as softly.

"Can we go back to our compartment?" He whispers.

I nod and stand up.

We take our trays back and walk to our compartment.

Finnick opens the door and I sit at the desk. He smiles.

We sit in an awkward silence. I know why he wanted to talk about this alone. I've never kicked him out of bed before.

"I'm going to ask something stupid." He says carefully.

"You do that all the time." I say and he smiles.

"Are you okay?" He whispers.

I shake my head.

"No." I whisper and rock back and forth.

"Is it because of what happened in the Capitol?." He asks gently.

I rub my lips together and nod slightly.

"Annie, I'm not going to make you do anything. But, maybe if you told me I could help you. You are going to start therapy soon and they will probably make you discuss what happened."

"I'm not telling anyone what happened there. Ever." I say and a tear rolls down my cheek.

Finnick swallows hard.

"May, I?" Finnick asks with open arms. He is asking if he can hug me. I nod.

"I love you so much." He whispers and strokes my hair. "And I just want to help you." He says gently.

"Right now just hold me." I whisper.

"Okay." He says and rubs my back.

"I love you." He whispers and rocks us back and forth.

I lean into his chest and sob.

Finnick strokes my hair and I scrunch and unscrunch his jumpsuit.

"I love you." He whispers over and over again.

"I love you too." I finally whisper back.

"I'm glad." He says.

I smile.

It eventually turns into nighttime.

I hear the door open and see it is Finnick.

"Hi." I whisper.

"Hi." He says and gets ready for bed. He comes out of the bathroom and doesn't really move. "Annie." He says.

"Yes?" I say confused.

"Where do you want me to sleep?" He asks.

I look towards him and can't read the expression on his face.

"Next to me." I whisper.

He does and wraps his arms around me like he always has done but I feel constricted.

"Finnick can you let go of me." I whisper.

He does.

"I love you." I say trying to make this better.

"I know." He says confused.

I fall asleep hoping that it won't always be like this. I just want everything to be okay again. Including my relationship with Finnick.


	182. Chapter 182

**Chapter 182**

"Let's start with how you're feeling today Annie?"

I groan involuntary. I can't believe they are making me talk to a therapist.

"Annoyed." I whisper.

"And why is that?" He asks.

"Because Dr. Ash, I'm here." I say.

He nods.

"In Thirteen?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"I'm here talking with you. I'm here and I have a bracelet on my wrist that deems me mentally unstable. It's like a big neon sign that says 'hey look, she's crazy'. I just hate all of it."

He nods.

"In time you will heal and the bracelet will be removed." He smiles. I roll my eyes. If that is the only thing he took from my rant, than this man can't help me with anything.

"That's it? I say annoyed.

He smiles.

"Most people don't like therapy at first but, in time, warm up to it. I'm sure you will come to the same conclusion." Dr. Ash says. It bothers me that he is only a couple years older than I am. Even though he is a doctor he still wears a gray jumpsuit. It complements his pale complexion and brown hair. He is good looking but no more than the average person.

"Well, I guess I'm not most people." I say annoyed.

"This is only the first session. Don't be so quick to judge." I sigh. "Maybe we should just get acquainted with one another." He smiles.

"That doesn't sound too terrible." I whisper.

"See, it's not so bad." He smiles. "Would you like to tell me about home?"

I shake my head.

"No." I whisper. I can't think or talk about home because I will just start sobbing hysterically. The thought of my Mother enters my mind again.

"Alright. How do you like the new accommodations in Thirteen then?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"You don't like them?" He asks.

"I don't want to talk about that either." I whisper.

"Alright." He says.

Question after question and I don't answer a single one. I can tell I'm angering him.

"Alright Annie let's just get you to answer one simple question."

I sigh.

"Tell me something that you favor. A color, food, season?" He says.

"Light purple." I whisper and think of the wild flowers Finnick would always give me. "I'm not one for favorite food but I do prefer to cook. And I like spring time the best." I smile. "We would have nice town events." I say. I don't dare say the word festival because I get the feeling I would get flogged. This place seems straight to the point waste not, want not.

"See, that wasn't so hard now was it Annie?" He says and I hear a beep. "We have five minutes left. This is when I like to have you set goals for the day."

"Goals?" I ask confused.

He nods and looks at a file.

"You like to draw, no?"

"Yes." I say annoyed.

"Maybe that should be a goal. You can draw something, then you can bring it to the next session, which is tomorrow." He says with a smile.

"I don't know." I whisper.

"Well a least try." He says.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Also I think another goal should be discussing what happened in the Capitol."

"But I-"

"It doesn't have to be with me... yet. You will soon though. Maybe you should try Mr. Odair first. He is the closest person to you here."

"I can't tell Finnick." I say.

"Annie, you need to open up about this, or else it will eat you alive."

I shake my head.

"I can't tell Finnick." I whisper again.

He intakes deeply.

"Alright." He says and a bell dings. "Our session is over. I will see you this time next week." He smiles.

I smile back then leave.

I head out the door and see a waiting Finnick.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had to be else where." I say and lean into his chest.

"I did, I mean I do, but first therapy sessions are the worst." He says.

"Oh." I whisper.

"So what are your 'goals'." He uses air quotes.

"To draw something. He thinks it will be relaxing or something." Finnick nods.

"Is that all?" He asks.

"Yup." I say with a smile. I don't think he can tell I'm lying.

"Who's your doctor?" He asks.

"Someone named Dr. Ash." I say and he nods. "Does that mean something to you?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"Nope. I'm just curious." He smiles.

"I see."

"So what are you gonna draw?" He asks and starts to walk us down the halls presumably to our compartment.

"I don't know if I will." I whisper.

Finnick nods.

"Well, don't feel pressured from the head doctors say Annie. Go at your own speed." He kisses my forehead. "Okay?" He whispers.

"Okay." I smile and see we are back at our compartment.

"Do you want me to stay with you for a couple hours?"

"Are you allowed?" I whisper.

"I'm allowed." Finnick smiles.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He whispers.

I sit at the desk and see some paper and a pencil. I pick up the pencil and twirl it around and around in my hand. I can feel Finnick's eyes on me.

I closed my eyes and breathe in and out deeply. I feel his hand rub my back.

"You're okay Annie. I'm right here." He says gently.

"Finnick." I whimper.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

I blubber something.

"You're okay." He whispers. "You're safe here." He leans in, to kiss me. I love you so much Annie. So so much."

I nod.

"Finnick." I whimper.

"Yes?" He asks and strokes my hair.

"I need to tell you something." I whisper. I don't know if it is because Dr. Ash threatened I will talk about what happened with him first or that I know I should tell Finnick. I need to tell Finnick. I know I'm hurting him. I don't want to be the one to hurt him.

"Okay." He says worried.

"When I was there in the Capitol." I squeeze his hand.

"It's okay Annie. I'm right here and you don't need to tell me."

"No. I do. I can't keep living with myself. I can't keep… I can't keep doing this to you. I need to tell someone."

"Annie-"

"Shh just let me tell you. I finally have enough courage or whatever to tell you."

"Okay." Finnick says worried.

"When I was there, being held... I was... there were..." I close my eyes and feel tears fall from my eyes.

"You're okay." Finnick says and wipes the tears from my cheeks.

I swallow hard.

"When I was there I was kept in a cell. There were these guards." I sniffle. "These two guards they took me away one day. They took me to a different holding cell."

"Okay." Finnick says concerned.

"They um… they uh… they put me in the cell. But uh one of the guards came in the room with me…" I put my elbows on my knees and my hands over my face. "He touched me."

"Annie, I'm so-"

"He unzipped my jumpsuit." I whimper. "I could feel him and then he… he." I put my hands over my face.

"Annie." Finnick says and rubs my back.

"He raped me." I sob in a high pitch voice.

"Annie." Finnick says sadly.

"He was so rough. It hurt so much." I sob.

"Ann-"

"I couldn't do anything. I couldn't stop him. Couldn't stop them. Different places." I sob.

"Annie-" Finnick says.

"Then after he was done so did the other guard. He was worse than the other one. He liked to strangle me and was very rough and he touched me in different places. And sometimes I would wake up on my torture table and I would just be in my underwear. I think they touched me when I was unconscious. I was always sore when I woke up. It hurts to sit down. The last time... the last time it happened." I put my hands over my face and start sobbing hysterically. I don't want to talk about that yet.

Finnick wraps his arm around me and smooths my hair.

I start to hyperventilate and sob.

"And now you hate me." I say loudly

"Why would-"

"Because I'm disgustinnnng." I sob.

"Annie-"

"You'll never see me the same again." I sob.

"Annie you're not-"

"Finnick you can leave okay?" I sob. "I won't get mad." I sob.

Finnick lets go of my hand and stands up. I start sobbing harder. I didn't think he would actually leave. Before I realize what is going on. Finnick picks me up and places me in his lap on the bed.

I don't stop crying he knew I wouldn't as well.

I wrap my arms around his neck and lean against his chest. I can usually calm down faster if I sit on his lap. I don't know why, but I know that's why he did this.

Finnick breathes in and out deeply. To help me.

"Shhhh. Shhhh." He says and rubs my back. "You're okay. You're okay." He says gently.

After what seems like forever I hiccup and wipe my eyes. I'm too scared to look up at Finnick.

It's silent for what seems like hours. I think Finnick is waiting for me to talk first but, that isn't going to happen. I'm too afraid of what he will say.

Finnick smooths my hair.

"I love you so much Annie." He says. "So much." I'm still not looking at him. "You're not disgusting Annie."

I make a whimpering noise.

"Don't for one second. One second. Think that Annie. You're not disgusting. I don't hate you. I love you." He says. I'm still not looking at him. "I'm sorry this happened. I- I know it's stupid to say but I don't know what to say. I do know that you're not disgusting. This isn't your fault Annie." He says.

"But-"

"No, it's not." Finnick says seriously. "This isn't your fault. You're not disgusting. You shouldn't feel ashamed. This was not your fault Annie." He says.

My chin is trembling and I start sobbing again. I end up getting spit on his shirt.

He rubs my back and makes shushing noises. He doesn't say anything else, he just holds me. I like this better.

He is rocking me back and forth gently.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes?" He says gently.

I hiccup.

"I love you." I sob.

"I love you too. So much." He says and rocks me back and forth.

I look up at him and he smiles. He wipes tears and snot from my face.

"I love you." He says again.

I shiver from crying so much.

"I love you too." I whisper and hiccup.

He holds me for awhile. I know we are missing lunch but I can't leave. I don't think he is going to say anything either.

"Are you sure I'm not disgusting?" I whisper.

Finnick pulls me up so I can look at him. I look into his eyes. They hold sadness.

"Yes. I'm sure. I know Annie. I do." He says.

"I know you do but… the things these people did to me…" I whisper and feel sobs coming up again.

"Annie no. No. No." He says and pushes me closer to him. "Oh god Annie." He says.

"Finnick." I say confused.

"I can take care of you Annie." He whispers. "And you're not disgusting. I don't care if I have to tell you that multiple times everyday. I love you Annie."

I look up at him and smile sadly.

"I know you can. Take care of me." I whisper and nestle into his chest. "I love you." I whisper and it's silent. I listen to his breathing trying to even mine.

"Why didn't you tell me this Annie?" He whispers.

"I thought you would never want to see me again." I whisper.

"Annie if I did I would be a very big hypocrite because I have had my share of disgusting." He says with a smile.

"That shouldn't make me feel better should it?" I whisper.

He shrugs.

"Who knows? Who cares?" He says and kisses the top of my head. "I'm sorry." He says. "Habits." He whispers.

"You can kiss my forehead Finnick." I whisper.

"Okay." He says and I can hear the smile.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." Finnick shakes his head.

"What's wrong?" I ask worried.

"I've never… I never thought this would happen to you." He whispers. "Me. Yes. You, no and I'm sorry Annie… maybe if I told you something." His arms wrap around me tightly. "I never thought this would happen to you." He repeats. I know why he is saying this, because of Snow's deal. He feels guilty."I just love you so much. I never wanted you to feel this." He whispers.

I don't say anything I don't know how to respond.

"I love you." I just say instead.

He kisses the top of my head.

"I'm glad." He whispers.

I lean in and kiss him.

"Sorry." I whisper.

"Why are you sorry?" Finnick asks concerned.

"Because my face is wet and snot covered." I whisper.

"That's okay." Finnick says and kisses my forehead. "I love you." He says.

Finnick holds me in his arms and I don't want him to let go.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply.

I think I feel a tear drop fall into my hair. I'm hoping I imagined it because I don't want Finnick to be crying about this.

"I love you." I whisper and bury my face in his chest.

Finnick sniffles.

"I love you too." He whispers and I feel another tear drop fall into my hair.


	183. Chapter 183

**Chapter 183**

Finnick holds me for a long time. It must have been hours.

When Finnick pulls away I can tell he was crying. I already had a suspicion that he was but this confirms it. I know he doesn't want me to know he was crying, but I don't care. I move my hand to his face and wipe away a stray tear.

"I love you." I whisper and press my forehead to his.

He cups my face between his hands and smiles.

"I know." He says then moves his head to the crook of my neck. I run my fingers through his hair. He looks up and kisses my cheek. "I have to go Annie." He whispers. I look at him like he just told me pigs will fly. He kisses my cheek again. "You do too… we need to eat. Can't skip a meal."

I sniff.

"Finnick."

"I don't want to leave either but, we missed breakfast as well." He whispers. He's hungry. I am too.

I swallow hard.

"Stay with me." I whisper.

"I will." He kisses my forehead. We stand up and walk hand and hand to the cafeteria.

We get our food and Finnick leads us to our assigned table. I've only eaten in here with him once because I've had most of my meals in the hospital.

We sit down and I feel the others people's eyes bore into my skin.

I look down at my lunch and pick at the sandwich. I pick up my spoon and notice the girl next to me is staring.

I smile hoping she will introduce herself but she doesn't.

"Hi." I say softly.

"Hi." She smiles.

I expect a name or something but nothing follows.

"I'm Annie." I say, even though I'm sure she knows this.

"I know you're one of the people we rescued. I mean the royal we. I wasn't in the rescue squad or anything." She smiles.

"I figured." I say strangely. I look at her again. "What's your name?" I ask.

"Elizabeth but I prefer Elsa." She smiles. Elsa is probably around my age, maybe a little older. She has dark brown hair that is almost black. Her eyes seem to be amber and she is pale. Of course she would be, these people never go outside.

"That's nice." I say and she nods.

"Did you get assigned where to live?" She asks.

I nod.

"With Finnick." I say. He turn towards me and smiles.

Elsa looks at us strangely.

"Oh… but you aren't married." She says.

"No." I say.

"Why?" Finnick asks catching the tail end of this discussion.

"Because you're living together. You usually have to be married." She says.

"We lived together in District Four that's probably why." Finnick says. He sounds annoyed.

She nods.

"Do you have a job yet?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"I don't have a schedule." I whisper and tuck hair behind my ear. I just now realize that gives her an excellent view of my unstable bracelet.

"Oh." She says probably noticing it.

Finnick finishes his water.

"Are you alright if I get more?" He whispers. You can't get seconds of lots of things but water seems to be alright. I guess they don't want you to be dehydrated. You do have limited shower time though.

"Get me some too." I say even though my glass is half full.

He nods and kiss my forehead as he stands up.

Elsa looks at him as he walks away. I wonder if she is checking him out.

"I had one of those." She says.

"A boyfriend?" I say confused.

She shakes her head and smiles.

"I meant this." She says and her hand touches my bracelet.

"Really?" I say surprised.

"They didn't invent those just for the new people." She smiles.

I nod. I'm not going to ask her why she had one.

Finnick comes back and kisses my forehead.

"Here we go." He smiles and places the glass down in front of me.

Elsa stands up and grabs her tray.

"It was nice meeting you. See you next meal, maybe." Elsa says with a smile. Then walks off with her tray.

"Look at you Annie." Finnick says when she is out of ear shot. He's smiling.

"Excuse me?" I say confused.

"The natives don't really talk to the outsiders." He says.

I roll my eyes.

"I see."

I lean against him and can feel his body move with every bite and every chew he takes. I close my eyes. I drown out the cafeteria sounds and just listen and feel Finnick's body movements.

"Annie." I hear and open my eyes. I lift my head from his shoulder.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"You haven't touched your meal and meal time is almost over." He says gently.

I nod and take a bite but don't taste anything.

I breathe in and out.

I put the sandwich back down.

"What's wrong?" He asks worried.

"I think I'm just going to throw it back up." I whisper.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"Just try and eat, okay?" He says gently.

I nod.

Everything tastes like sandpaper no matter how much water I drink the dryness doesn't go away.

I swallow hard.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Annie you're okay." He says. He sounds worried.

It doesn't matter I end up throwing up on the table.

The people across from us look disgusted. I put my hands over my face and cry. I hear someone talk to Finnick aggressively and then feel hands on me.

"Let go of her." I hear Finnick say.

It doesn't matter. Wherever I'm being taken, they want me there.

* * *

I sit up on the hospital bed and tap my feet together.

After I threw up I was brought to the hospital. I still haven't gotten an explanation as to why.

A nurse comes in.

"Where's Finnick?" I ask because I haven't seen him since they put me here. But, she doesn't do anything. They plop a tray of food next to me and leave. As I get closer to the tray I also notice they have a paper cup with pills in them.

"What's-" I ask but the nurse is already gone.

"Tranquilizers." I hear an annoyed familiar voice say as they pull back my curtain.

"Johanna." I say. She looks better from when she came here.

"Those will knock you clean out." She smirks. "I can take them off your hands if you like." She says already reaching for them.

"Go ahead." I say.

She nods.

"Why are you here anyways? You look fine?" She asks.

"I got sick at lunch."

"They don't believe in the flu?" She smirks.

"It wasn't… it wasn't the flu I just… it wasn't right. Memories, this place…" I shake my head. "Anyways, I got sick and then dragged here but, I think the real reason is because I have one of these." I say and flash my bracelet.

"A mentally unstable one, nice." She smiles. "You know if we were back home or in the Capitol no one would think twice of that. They just think, that's Annie Cresta." She says.

"Gee thanks." I mumble.

"I was trying to make you feel better." She smiles. "These people don't understand. They think they do but they don't." She says and takes my pills, dry swallows them, and leaves.

I smile. Johanna is right. They think they do but they don't.

* * *

It's been hours and I still haven't seen Finnick. I look up at the ceiling and wonder where he is or if he is alright

I hear the curtain open.

"Finnick." I sit up with a smile. "Oh... it's just you." I mumble when I see Dr. Ash.

"I thought we might be able to have a session still." He says but, doesn't move forward.

"I'm too sick right now. I will probably feel better tomorrow." I brush him off. To my surprise he actually leaves.

I lay down and don't hear anything for a few hours and when I do it's a heated discussion outside my curtain.

"Mr. Odair, you need to calm down. She needs to be under supervision-" I hear someone say. A woman.

"Supervision." Finnick says outraged.

"Mr. Odair, we feel she shouldn't be left alone."

"She won't be alone." He says.

"You can't keep breaking your schedule for her. You need to follow order."

"I care about her more than any order that is enforced here." Finnick says.

"That's not how it works here Mr. Odair and President Coin doesn't-"

"I don't care." Finnick whispers and I hear my curtain open.

"Annie." I hear him say and rush over to me. He is trying to sound comforting, use his early morning voice but, he's too angry too. "You get to leave the hospital." He says.

"Mr. Odair." The woman says angrily. It is a doctor, an important looking one. Maybe she is in charge of the hospital.

"She's leaving." Finnick says and runs his fingers through my hair.

"Finnick." I say.

He turns towards me. I run my fingers through his hair.

I swallow hard.

"Give me a schedule." I say to the woman but am looking at Finnick.

"Miss. Cresta you aren't in the right frame of mind."

I groan.

"If you give me a schedule I will be distracted. No matter where I am, in the hospital, in my compartment, I won't be able to shut my brain off. I'll keep thinking… just give me something to do." I say.

"We can help you here, give you medication."

"I don't need it. I don't want it. Just let me go." I look towards Finnick. "Or he's going to come here everyday until you do." Finnick smiles.

"Alright." The woman says annoyed. "But, if you become a problem Miss. Cresta you will be admitted here. Permanently." She says and swings the curtain back.

"Are you okay?" Finnick asks.

"I want to go home." I whisper.

"Well, they said you could leave." He says and kisses my forehead.

"No Finnick." I look at him and he looks confused. "I want to go home." I say.

Finnick hugs me.

"I know. I want to go home too." He whispers and kisses my cheek.


	184. Chapter 184

**Chapter 184**

"Over here." Finnick says while holding my hand. We have always had breakfast together but, I've never gotten my arm imprinted.

Finnick slides his hand over this contraption and a strange light glows. When he removes his arm he has his schedule written in neat blue ink.

I do the same. I expect it to hurt, but I don't feel anything.

I look down and see my schedule.

_7:00 am- 8:00 am: Breakfast._

_8:00- 10:30: Kitchen help._

_10:30- 12:00: Therapy._

_12:00- 1:00: Lunch._

_1:00- 2:30: Kitchen help._

_2:30- 4:00: Relaxation._

_4:00- 6:00: Communication._

_6:00- 7:00 Dinner._

_7:00- 10:00: Reflection._

_10:00 pm: Lights out._

I look up at Finnick slightly confused and annoyed.

"Let me see." He says and reaches for my arm.

"What's kitchen help?" He asks.

"What's communication?" I ask.

Finnick shrugs.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out." Finnick says as we walk to our table of usual suspects.

"Hi Annie." Elsa says as I sit next to her. She looks at my wrist at first I think it is because of the bracelet until she forcibly grabs my arms.

"Let go." I say and fight her.

"I just wanted to see if we had any time together." She smiles.

"Oh, you were looking at my schedule." I say.

She nods.

"We have communication time together." She smiles.

"What does that entail?" I ask confused.

"You communicate with your neighbors. It can be boring, but it is better than other things." She looks down at my wrist again. "You must not have scored very high." She says sadly.

"What?" I ask confused.

"For your aptitude test." She says.

"My what?" I ask confused.

"I thought everyone took one. To know where to place you, for what job." She leans over me. "Didn't you take one Finnick?"

He shakes his head.

"I was a little too busy, besides I help Katniss." He says, I'm sure that is the understatement of the year.

She nods.

"Why are you asking this?" I say confused.

"Because you got kitchen help, for your job." She says. She sounds sad.

"So?" I ask.

"Annie, that's like being a janitor. You're going to be cleaning dishes, mopping, wiping down tables. It isn't a desirable job."

I shrug. I shouldn't be surprised they would give me a job like this. They do think so little of me but, someone does need to clean and since I don't trust these people with that I'm glad I can help.

"At least it won't be hard." I say.

"Right." Elsa says with a smile. "I help for my community services there. I actually do that today. I can help you out." She smiles.

"Okay." I say.

I eat the rest of my meal and wrap my arm against Finnick. I'm starting to regret this, requesting a schedule, a little but it's not like I could stay with Finnick twenty four seven. Well not in a place like this.

* * *

"Alright Miss. Cresta, it goes like this." The instructor says and explains where all the rags and mops are. How to work the dish washer. I think he either thinks it's every elaborate or he thinks I'm very stupid because all you have to do is press a few buttons. The hard part is to remember to pull the lever shut so you don't flood the place.

Most of the people who are working with me are children probably ages thirteen to fifteen. I heard they train kids to be soldiers at this age. Elsa's words of an aptitude test creep into my mind. They are either children or rather elderly people. This is probably the only job they can do.

I sigh.

I feel a sponge get pushed into my hands.

"Scrub the tables and get to work." My leader says. I can tell he doesn't want this job as much as any of us do.

I sigh and start to wipe down some of the many table.

I smile suddenly remembering a fairy tail my Mother once told me of a servant girl who falls in love with the prince, but before all that happens she has to do everything her step sisters and step Mother told her to do. What was her name... Cindy something... I guess I have to do the bidding for these District Thirteen people.

"Annie." I hear and jump. I see Elsa is cleaning the same table I am. "You okay?" She smiles. I think Elsa is the closest thing I have to a friend here, even though I've barely spoken to her. I can tell she is trying to make a friendship grow.

I nod.

"This is kinda boring." I whisper.

"Why are you whispering?" She says confused.

"I dunno that instruct guy seems intense."

She rolls her eyes.

"He doesn't care."

I nod and go back to wiping down the table.

This job is more boring than anything. After the tables are done I sweep the floor.

"Do they really expect this to last two and a half hours?" I ask Elsa.

"After you're done people usually just talk or see what will be for lunch. Where are you going after this?" She asks and I look down at my arm.

I groan.

"What?" She asks.

"Therapy." I whisper.

She nods. I'm glad she doesn't ask about it or about my bracelet.

* * *

"How's your day been going?" Finnick asks. It's finally lunch time.

I shrug.

"Alright. I guess." I say.

"You okay?" He whispers.

I nod.

"Therapy was awkward. We sat in silence for almost an hour." I whisper.

"Well I guess that is better than talking about something uncomfortable." He says and strokes my hair.

I nod.

"I guess." I whisper and lean against him.

The rest of the day is a repetitive blur. I don't hate kitchen help but it can get gross. I'm just thankful I don't have to clean the bathroom.

"So how was your first schedule day Annie?" Finnick asks in our compartment. I have my cheek on his stomach and Finnick is playing with my hair. I can tell he is braiding it. He is doing it so much I think my hair is going to turn into one huge rats nest.

"Alright, boring, but it was a nice distraction." I say.

"That's nice." Finnick says as I feel him pull my scalp.

"Finnick that hurts." I say.

He drops my hair.

"I'm sorry, too tight." He says and drops the piece of hair "But, look." He says and leads me to the bathroom mirror. I smile. "There's no flowers, but it still looks pretty great." He says and kisses the top of my head. My hair is now many woven intricate braids. Finnick has braided my hair like this before. I never appreciated it so much until now. I look so pretty. Even though some of the bruises are still visible. I feel pretty. I feel like I'm at home.

"I'm so pretty." I whisper and feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"Yes, you are." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"For what?" He asks.

"Making me feel pretty." I swallow hard. "Making me feel important. Making me feel loved." I whisper and lean into his chest.

"Good, I'm glad and I love you too." He says and kisses the top of my head. He sways us back and forth for a while.

"Annie." He says.

"Yes?" I ask.

"We should take our showers soon." He says.

"Okay." I whisper.

"You want first crack?" He asks.

I run my fingers over my hair.

"I'll destroy what you just made."

He smiles.

"I can braid your hair again." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Okay." I say. "I want to shower first. You take really long ones and always use up the hot water."

"I can't do that here, they're timed." He says.

"Right." I say confused.

Finnick helps me undo the beautiful braid and then leaves the bathroom so I can take a shower.

I turn the shower on and then unzip my jumpsuit.

I start to shower quickly because I'm still unsure how long I have.

I'm about done when I notice something. Something feels strange.

"Oh no." I whisper.

I dry off and brush my teeth. I then head out to Finnick. I hope he can't read the worry on my face.

I smile.

"It's all yours." I say and motion towards the bathroom.

"Thanks." He says but puts both of his hands on my shoulders and looks into my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"You okay?" He asks.

"I'm fine." I say.

He nods.

"Okay." He says and kisses the top of my head.

I lay on the bed. I hear the shower turn on and I turn on my side.

Finnick comes out shortly and lays next to me.

"You okay Annie?" He asks again.

"I'm fine." I whisper but can feel a tear drip off my nose.

"Okay." He says and kisses my hair. "I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I say as he wraps his arm around my waist.

* * *

I walk to the hospital embarrassed and nervous. Nervous because I don't want to be going back to this place. Embarrassed because of...

"Excuse-" I try and say but lots of people are walking past me not caring.

"Can I help you Miss.?" I hear a woman with fair skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes say. She doesn't look like she is from here.

"I need a… I need someone to look at me." I swallow hard. "I think I have an infection." I say.

"Alright, I can look at you. Let's go to a room." She smiles and leads me to a hospital room. "You're Annie, right?" She asks.

I nod.

"You have a chart. I can go get."

"I don't think that will help. I think I know what the problem is."

"Alright, what is it Annie?" She asks gently.

"I think... um." I close my eyes. "I think I have an STD." I whisper and open my eyes.

She nods. She looks concerned.

"What makes you think this?" She asks.

"I have… some sores... or a rash." I whisper.

I think District 4 had better sex education than other Districts. We had a whole section in health class about it. About the anatomy of the human bodies. The actual act of sex. Conceiving a child and infections you can get. I can't believe I might have an STD.

"Alright. I can test you, but I should ask you some questions first."

"Okay." I whisper.

"When did you first notice this?" She asks.

"Last night, in the shower." I whisper.

She nods.

"Alright, many sexual partners have you had?" She asks.

"I um-" I say and can feel tears in my eyes. "I um..." I put my hands over my face. "I can't do this." I sob.

"Okay. It's alright Annie but you should contact them in case-"

I start crying maybe I should've brought Finnick with me. I thought about it but, if it is true ,then I don't want him to know.

"Were you in the same type of situation as Finnick?" She asks and comes closer to me. She rubs my back.

I shake my head.

"No but… I was in the Capitol... men." I hug myself and start rocking back and forth.

"Oh." I hear her whisper. She probably figured it out. "Well we can just test you. Depending on the infection you should be as good as new in a few weeks."

"What if it's serious?" I whisper.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." She smiles. "Do you want me to contact someone to bring Finnick here. I'm sure he would-"

"No. I don't want him to know." I say.

"Annie if you've-"

"We haven't, I barely kiss his lips." I sniffle.

She nods.

"Still you should tell him. Although it's not my place."

I nod.

"Now, I'll take some blood to make sure nothing else is going on that we aren't seeing. Then I'll get a visual look." She says and gets me a hospital gown so I can once again take my clothes off so someone can see my most personal part.

She looks and swabs something then tells me I can get dressed.

"I'll be right back." She says. She's gone for fifteen minutes before she comes back.

"Alright Annie you are right. You have syphilis, but don't worry, this can easily be treated with some penicillin."

I nod.

"Okay." I say removed.

"Your blood test won't be finished until tomorrow, but you can get started on the antibiotic right now. It should clear up in a few weeks then you should get tested again to make sure it is out of your system." She hands me a brown paper bag with pills in them. "Do you have any other discomforts?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"Okay, come see me if you do."

"What's your name?" I whisper.

"Everdeen." She says and leaves the room.

I get up and then run back to my compartment. I run into multiple people but don't care. I get to the compartment and expect to be alone so I'm surprised when I see Finnick sitting on the bed reading something.

"What are you doing here?" I ask and put the bag behind my back. Hopefully I can sneak it into the bathroom.

"Break time remember, where were you? Held up at kitchen duty? Or was it therapy? Elsa?" He says with a smile.

"I was just." I point outside. "Going for a walk, clear my head." I say and he comes closer to me. "I have to pee." I say and he stops.

"Thank you for sharing." He says and motions towards the bathroom. I move the bag hoping he won't see.

"Annie." Finnick says.

"I really have to go." I say. I don't. I'm just trying to get away from him, so I can hide this.

"Alright but, what's that in your hand?"

"Nothing." I say and hurry to the bathroom.

"Annie, you know I'm going to figure it out, right?" He says through the door.

I swallow hard.

I sit next to the toilet and rock back and forth.

"He can't find out. He can't find out. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting." I mutter and feel tears roll down my cheeks.

"Annie, it's been five minutes? Are you alright?" Finnick asks, now worried.

I'm about to say yes, but a strange moan comes out instead.

Finnick opens the door and sits next to me.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"What are you holding?" He asks and reaches for it.

"No!" I shout and move it away from him. "No! It's mine!" I shout again.

"Annie." He says and doesn't give up.

"No! It's mine! Stop it!"

The bag ends up tearing and the bottle rolls onto the floor.

We both reach for it but Finnick is faster and closer.

He looks at the bottle and reads the prescription. He looks back at me. He has a strange expression on his face.

"Annie-"

"Just leave me alone." I whimper.

"Annie, I'm assuming I know what this is for." He says. I'm sure he does. I'm sure some clients have passed along some type of infection along the years. I'm also sure those clients paid for it.

"Go away." I whisper again.

"No." He says which surprises me.

"Finnick." I whimper. "Please go away."

"No." He says again and smooths my hair. "Since this is just penicillin it will go away Annie. You'll be okay."

"That's not why-"

"I know and you're not disgusting either." He says and drops the bottle and hugs me. I make a whimpering noise and lean into his chest.

"You're not disgusting." Finnick whispers again.

I swallow hard.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know." He whispers and rocks me back and forth.

"How can you want to touch me?" I whisper.

"Because you're Annie." He says. I just now realize he has asked me this multiple times before and I've always said 'Because you're Finnick' only now do I realize that answer is so not good enough but he never complained. So neither will I.

"I love you." He whispers. "I love you so much. You're not disgusting Annie." He whispers.

I swallow hard and nod into his chest.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes?" He says.

"Can you braid my hair, like you did last night?" I ask.

Finnick smiles.

"Of course." He says and does. He makes me feel beautiful again.


	185. Chapter 185

**Chapter 185**

I lay on the bed and tap my feet together waiting for Finnick to come back.

It's my communication time. I'm supposed to talk with my neighbors but don't really feel like it. However, if someone knocks on the door I'm required to answer.

I roll on my back.

I wish Finnick didn't have to leave but at least my hair is in a beautiful braid.

I hear a knock on the door.

"Annie." I hear.

I sigh.

"Annie, it's Elsa. Do you want to talk?" She asks.

I swallow hard and get up. I don't mind her and I guess if I can't talk to Finnick, Elsa will do.

I open the door and she smiles.

"Your hair looks so beautiful." She says and runs her hair over the braid.

I smile.

"Thanks. Finnick did it." I say as she closes the door. She sits at the desk.

"That's cool. I can't do anything that exciting with my hair." She smiles.

I nod.

"Well in Four you can do all kinds of things with knots so it's not very hard for us." I say.

"I know. That was part of Finnick's therapy, tying knots." She says.

I nod.

"He told me." I whisper.

She nods.

"Have you gotten used to this place yet?" She asks.

"Not really. I miss outside." I say.

"Yeah, I've never really been outside. We have all the elements of outside but, I'm assuming it's different than actually being outside." She smiles.

"I doubt you can copy the sand or the ocean on your feet. The smell of a nice sea breeze." I smile. "I like that."

"I'm sure if I was taken away from my home I would realize the little things I would miss."

"I guess." I say and look down at my hands.

"You alright Annie?" She asks again.

"I don't know." I whisper.

"Okay." She says.

"Why are you asking again?" I say.

"Because I saw you running though the halls, crying." She says and avoids my gaze.

"Oh well that was because… I was." I put my hands over my face.

"You don't have to tell me Annie. I just wanted to make sure you were alright." She says and I can tell she means it. I think that doctor woman would have meant it as well. There was something about her name that sounded familiar.

"I know it's just…" I look up at her with tears daring to fall from my eyes. "I found out something terrible."

"Are you ill?" She asks worried.

"No… I mean yes... but you can't catch it unless we..." I close my eyes and breathe in and out.

She nods.

"I'm sure you'll be okay."

"I know but... something happened when I was in the Capitol."

"Like Peeta?" She asks. I can see her move away from me a little.

"I don't know what happened to him."

"Oh. Finnick didn't say?"

"He just said he tried to kill her and I didn't see Peeta much in the Capitol." I say.

"Oh... they messed with his brain. They made him think Katniss is evil and a mutt. He thinks all she does is kill and destroy. Which is why he wants to kill her. He thinks that is better for society." She says sadly. "From what I'm told he's like a completely different person. It's as if he's changed." She says.

Sanchez's words ring in my head. 'I won't let them change you'. Were they going to change me? Have me try to kill Finnick?

"Well that didn't happen to me." I clear my throat.

She nods.

"Alright." She smiles.

"Well something bad happened to me there. I talk to Finnick about it but… I feel."

"Maybe you should talk to your therapist." She says.

"If I can't talk to Finnick how could I talk to a stranger?" I say annoyed.

"Because he is an impartial third party. He just wants to help you. When I had one of those bracelets... I talked to a therapist and it helped." She smiles.

"Why did you have a bracelet." I ask. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It just slipped out. I-"

"Everyone knows why you have one." She smiles. "Besides, it was a couple years ago." She swallows hard. "There was a plague here a few years back. Killed lots of the population and had some side effects. The main one was people becoming infertile. Anyways even knowing this I got pregnant." She smiles. I know where this is going. "I wasn't married which isn't a good look. So my boyfriend and I got married. I think of Finnick's parents. I don't know how things work here but I can tell from this story there isn't a happy ending.

"It was nice for awhile... after awhile it just seemed like we were playing house, you know. It didn't feel real or right. A couple of months later I lost the baby. My 'husband' left me and we don't really even have divorce here Annie. It isn't believed in, but when I got back from the hospital he was gone and left a note." She swallows hard.

"I went crazy, some people said insane. I thought I lost everything. Couldn't really take care of myself. I was in the hospital for awhile." She smiles. "But, now I'm great. I like being alone. I like being by myself. I'm good at that. So don't worry Annie you'll be alright." She smiles.

I smile back.

"Come here." I say.

"Why?" She asks confused.

"I'm going to braid your hair, or teach you rather." I say and she smiles. Her hair is surprisingly soft, considering they don't have conditioner here. It takes me less than a minute.

"It's nice. I wonder if I could do this every day." She smiles.

"It's not that hard." I say.

She nods.

"How long does that take?" She says and runs her fingers over my hair.

"Finnick did it. It took him about five minutes. Probably would've taken me fifteen." I say and the door opens.

"Whatcha doing?" Finnick asks with a smile.

"Teaching Elsa how to braid hair." I say. "She's getting good." I say.

"Don't patronize me Annie." She smiles. "I should leave you two alone." She says and stands up.

"Bye Elsa." I say and the door closes.

"Hair braiding must not be an important trait here." Finnick smiles.

I nod.

"You okay?" He asks.

I nod.

"I think I am now." I smile.

"That's good." He kisses my forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

"Here you go Annie." Dr. Ash says and pushes a sketch book into my hands.

"What's this for?" I ask.

"To draw." He says.

I roll my eyes. I knew that part but I can't really draw. Not here. Not now.

"But I-"

"I thought you might not like an audience, so I got you a deserted classroom. You can stay there and draw for the rest of your session."

"What if I leave the room?" I ask.

"Then you leave the room." He says.

"No one will follow me?" I ask surprised.

He shakes his head.

"No."

"Alright." I say a bit too happy.

He smiles and leads me to a classroom.

"Here we are." He says and opens the door. I smile it's an art room. Many easels, notebooks, and clay.

"I'm surprised District Thirteen allows stuff like this." I say and rub my hand over a paint brush.

"Being a well rounded, well educated person is important." He says.

He turns the light on.

"Sit anywhere. If you're still here by the end of your session, I'll come see if you've done anything." He says then leaves.

I swallow hard and go around the room. I touch the hard surfaces on the desks, cabinets, countertops, paints, pencils. I pick up a piece of charcoal and smile. Maybe, I can draw a picture of Finnick again.

However, I pick up a pencil instead.

I put it to the page and breathe in and out.

_Draw something Annie. I think. Anything, anything at all._ I think again.

I end up pressing the pencil to the piece of paper so hard that I break the pencil in half and now a few holes are in the pages.

I pick up another pencil.

I close my eyes.

_Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. I_s all I hear in my mind.

I open my eyes and see I have scribbled very hard on the page and can see my nails have dug into my hands, so hard that they are bleeding.

"No, no." I whisper and drop the pencil and leave the room. I don't run this time.

There is an hour left of my therapy session so Dr. Ash shouldn't chase after me. He said nothing bad would happened to me.

I get back to my compartment and head to the bathroom. I scrub my hands vigorously trying to get the pencil residue and blood off my hands.

I dry off my hands and then flop down on my bed.

* * *

"Annie is something wrong?" I hear Finnick say. He is out of breath.

I turn towards him.

"No, why?" I ask confused.

"Because it's 12:30 lunch is almost over."

"And you just now noticed?" I say confused.

"I was waiting for you. I thought you got lost." He says. Now I understand why he is breathing heavily.

"I just... let's just go to lunch." I whisper and reach for his hand.

"Okay." He says.

"Okay." I say.

I'm about to take a bite of my sandwich when Finnick grabs my hand.

"What happened to your hand?" He asks concerned.

"I was drawing." I whisper.

Finnick looks at me clearly worried.

"They're bleeding." Hey says

"They were." I say and take my hand from his. "Let's just eat lunch." I say.

"Annie-"

"Just drop it okay?" I say gently.

He kisses the top of my head.

"Okay." He whispers.

"I love you." I say

"Yeah, love you too." He says. I can't tell if he is annoyed or not


	186. Chapter 186

**Chapter 186**

"Finnick?" I ask when he comes back into the room.

"Yeah?" He smiles.

"Do you know where Katniss is? I haven't seen her since I've been here and it's been a few weeks." I ask.

"She went to District Two after... it was harder to be around him." He says and I nod.

"Would you have left?" I ask.

"I don't know." He says. "Would you?" He asks.

I shrug.

"I haven't seen him. The last I saw of him... was in those videos."

Finnick nods.

"I wonder what he's like." I whisper as Finnick pulls me in for a hug.

* * *

I'm back in that classroom Dr. Ash has set up for me. I haven't run out of the room again but I haven't drawn anything either. I have barely drawn squiggle. I don't really care about drawing, I'm just worried about Finnick. Not how he is doing, but how we are when we are together. I strangely feel like I am pushing him away. Which I don't want.

I hear a loud noise and jump. I turn towards the door expecting Dr. Ash but, see something else instead.

"Miss. Cresta." I see two guards and Peeta standing in the doorway.

I swallow hard.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"Annie, I was wondering if I could paint here with you." He asks.

After hearing everything people where saying about Peeta I was expecting him to be foaming at the mouth or something. He does look awful. But he doesn't look like he is going to kill me. However, I think I will avoid talking about Katniss and possibly Finnick because he does kind of know him.

"Of course." I say. It's not like I will say no to him.

One guard stands by the door and one hovers near Peeta.

Peeta comes closer to me. I can now see he is wearing handcuffs and footcuffs. I am a bit worried maybe, there is some truth to what people are saying.

Peeta sits at a desk next to me and takes some paints.

I go back to my blank piece of paper.

Peeta, the guards, and me are all here in an uncomfortable silence.

I hate sitting in silence. Always have. I don't know what to say to him. I don't want to ask if he is okay because I know he isn't and I don't like being asked that right now.

I watch him make very simple brush strokes.

_He has done this before._

Then I remember his talent was painting.

"My talent was drawing." I say and he looks up at me confused. "Yours was painting." I say. Then I realize this might trigger something. Talking about the games could lead to him thinking about Katniss which could lead him to want to kill me.

It seems like it is silent forever before he responds.

"Yes it was." He says gently. "What do you usually draw Annie?"

"Usually landscapes. It's what I'm best at. What do you paint?"

"My nightmares." He says casually.

"Oh." I whisper.

"It helps." He says.

I nod.

"That's what my therapist tells me but, I don't want to draw those."

"You should just draw anything." He says with a smile.

I nod. Peeta seems okay.

"I've lost some inspiration." I whisper more for myself than him.

Peeta shrugs.

"It doesn't matter. Just put your pencil to paper and see what happens." He says.

I don't. Instead I watch him paint. So many colors and lines. I wonder if this is why Finnick likes watching me draw so much.

I look to the clock. Finnick will be here soon and I know he will want to see something.

I put my pencil to paper and just draw some swirls and corkscrews.

"How have you been Annie?" He asks catching me off guard. "Ever since I saw you that day..." He trails off.

"I'm okay." I whisper. I'm not going to ask him how he is. I'm too worried I will set a bomb off.

"It's like there's a parasite in my head." Peeta says after awhile. "It's like someone else pulls the strings. It's hard to sort out the memories." He says.

It's silent for awhile.

"Then ask." I say and he looks at me confused. "If you don't know what is real, than ask someone who will know." I say. I have asked Finnick before. He is always honest as well.

"I guess. I feel like people will pity me."

"It's better than not knowing the truth." I smile.

I hear the door open and see a smiling Finnick. I wonder how he got here. I don't think that is what is on his schedule.

"There's my artist." He smiles. "Let me see what you got."

He says and walks towards me.

"Hello Peeta." He says with a smile but Peeta's facial expression has changed. The kind person I was talking to is gone. Finnick shakes his head unphased and turns towards me. He grabs the piece of paper I was using.

"Finnick… I… I tried but…"

He puts his hand up signaling me to stop talking. I hold my breath to wait for his response.

"It's wonderful. Very abstract." Finnick smiles and kisses my forehead. "We should hang this in our compartment. I think-"

"It's a few lines on a piece of paper Finnick. Don't lie to her." Peeta says in a flat removed tone. I guess this could be a joke but, he sounds so mean.

Finnick smiles.

"You just don't understand abstract art Peeta." Finnick says keeping his composure.

"You're just lying to her because you like toying with people just like _her_. Just like Katniss" Peeta says. His pupils are starting to dilate.

Before I realize what is going on I get pushed to the ground and feel paint splatter on me. I hear chaos by the door which is followed by silence.

Finnick rushes towards me.

"Sorry if I pushed you too hard." Finnick says and pulls me up. "I didn't want him to attack you."

I look to the floor and now see an unconscious Perta being hauled out of the room.

"Poor Peeta." I whisper.

Finnick moves hair off my shoulder and nods in agreement.

"We should go. Lunch is almost ready and you have paint all over you." He says I didn't eve realize it. I'm covered in red paint.

"Okay." I say.

"I was serious about hanging this up." Finnick says and picks up the 'drawing'.

"I know." I say somewhat annoyed.

"It just makes me feel better because you can actually sit down and focus on something. I wasn't expecting an Annie Cresta masterpiece but, this is good." He says and kisses my cheek.

"I see." I say with a smile.

"Let's go." Finnick says.

I get up and we do. I catch what Peeta was painting and stop walking.

"What's wrong?" Finnick asks worried.

I feel myself shaking and can feel an outbreak of sweat. I fall to my knees.

"Annie!? Annie." Finnick says trying to calm me down but, Finnick's voice will not be able to stop this. I can almost feel myself on the metal slab about to be injected. Peeta does draw his nightmares. Mine too. All I know is I see Peeta being strapped down on the metal slab being injected with things. Injecting him with whatever has made him this way.

* * *

I wake up confused and look around.

I'm in our compartment but, I don't remember getting here.

I hear rummaging in the bathroom and hope it is Finnick.

"Hey you're awake." He smiles and kneels on the floor.

"How did we get here?" I ask confused.

Finnick runs his fingers through my hair and I can tell there is still paint in it by the crunch sound.

"What's the last thing you remember?" He asks gently.

I swallow hard.

"Peeta's paining." I say and can feel myself start to panic.

"Annie." Finnick says worried. I start shaking from fear. "Annie, you're okay. It's okay here. You're here with me, Finnick." I feel his lips on my cheek.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"It's me Annie." He says gently.

I nod.

"So how did I get here?" I ask again.

"I calmed you down and took you back here. You seemed a little checked out. It was more obvious when you went to sleep right away." He says and I nod.

It's silent for awhile.

He kisses my forehead.

"Something else happened when you where in the Capitol I mean besides..." He trails off.

I nod.

Finnick doesn't ask questions he just kisses my cheek instead.

* * *

"I want to show you something." Finnick says and holds out his hand. It's been a couple of days since the Peeta incident and everything seems fine. Well as fine as things have been. I just want things to be fine again. I just want to be home again. I think I would feel better then.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Come on." He says with a smile. I look at him a bit leery. "You trust me right?" He smiles.

"Yes, even though I shouldn't sometimes." I smile and take his hand. He starts weaving us through a part of the district I'm not familiar with.

"Where are we going?" I ask and see when we stop. "Why are we at the armory?" I ask confused.

"Practice." He smiles.

"Practice for what?" I ask confused.

"You'll see." He smiles.

"Finnick, I don't think I'm allowed… in there."

Finnick gets me in anyways. I see lots of weapons. I see the weapons Katniss has used in those videos and other scary looking things.

"Okay here we are." Finnick says and gets to where he wants us to be. "Close your eyes." He says.

I do.

"Is this a Finnick gesture?" I ask knowing the answer already.

"In a place like this, quite possibly." He says and I smile.

I hear him grab something then whisper.

"You can open your eyes now." He says. I do and roll my eyes from the picture.

"Where did you get it?" I smile.

"Beetee made it for me. Like Katniss and her bow and arrows." He says and starts to twirl the trident through his fingers like a baton.

"You're gonna poke someone's eye out." I tease like always. I would watch Finnick on his boat with his trident. I would watch him catch fish and then we would both clean what he caught. It would be fun even though we would smell awful afterwards.

"I actually might since this trident can do some pretty nifty things."

"Good lord, then everyone in this place is doomed." I say.

"But watch." He says and puts my hand on the trident. "Multiply." He says and another set of prongs pop out. They are smaller but look somehow deadlier.

Finnick pulls it closer it us.

"It almost looks like a flower now. A very deadly one."

"Like a poinsettia?" He smiles.

"That's not a deadly flower Finnick." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"I heard it was." He smiles back.

"Well I was thinking of that one, that eats flies, a venus flytrap." I say.

"That's an animal not a flower." He smiles and I roll my eyes.

I press my finger to the main prong.

"Very sharp." I smile.

"It's meant to be." He smiles and kisses the tip of my nose.

"Now, come here." He says and I am standing against his chest. Almost like he is teaching me how to throw it. He has tired this before, and it didn't end well.

"This wasn't here before." I say and my finger hovers above a button that is outlined with red. "What's this do?" I ask.

"Uh what?" He says.

"What's it do?" I ask. Despite my better judgement I end up pressing it.

"No! Annie not that one!" He says but it's too late. One of the new prongs flies off the end of the trident and hits some of the targets. Then it explodes like a grenade.

"Mr. Odair!" I hear immediately.

"You've done that before haven't you." I ask with a smile.

"When I was still learning." I say.

"How else are you gonna learn." I say.

"You shouldn't set off explosives inside. Especially when you are around explosives." Finnick says.

I hear footsteps coming over here.

Finnick presses a different button and the new prongs disappear.

"Run." Finnick says with a smile.

I do. I've never been down here but it's easy to find your way out.

I find myself smiling on the way back to the compartment.

I open the door and sit on the bed. My smile fades when I notice it's been forty five minutes and Finnick still isn't back.

The door opens and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"How much trouble are you in?" I ask worried.

"Relax I just got a lecture." He smiles

"Is that all?" I tease.

"Yes." He smiles. "And this is an excellent example as to why you're the sidekick." He smiles.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"Don't you remember?" He says smiling. I shake my head. "That I'm Finnick Odair ruler of the seven seas and you're Annie Cresta the side kick. Which is clearly why you can't handle a weapon." He smiles. I remember telling him this once. I just can't place when.

I smile.

A tear unexpectedly rolls down my cheek. I wipe it away quickly.

"What?" Finnick asks.

"You're such a dork." I say.

Finnick wraps his arm around me and kisses me.

"Some things my dear, never change."

I smile.

"You made it feel like home." I whisper.

"That was the goal." He whispers. "Although not the blowing up part." He smiles.

"Says the man who blew up the water heater."

"That was one time." He smiles.

"Once was enough." I say and kiss him. I lean into his chest. "I love you."

"I know." He smiles.

"Even though you're a dork." I whisper.


	187. Chapter 187

**Chapter 187**

"So where are you going again?" Finnick asks me confused.

"The hospital." I mumble.

Finnick looks at me strangely.

"Like a post opt to make sure I'm... everything is okay and taken care of." I say trying to hold eye contact with him.

Finnick nods.

"Do you want me to go with you?" He asks and runs his fingers through my hair.

"No." I say a bit too quickly.

Finnick cocks his head to the side and smiles sadly.

"I just..." I close my eyes. "I need to do it by myself." I say.

Finnick kisses my cheek and nods.

"Break time might be over by the time your check up is, so I guess... I'll see you for dinner ?" He says.

I nod.

"Why can't I spend all day with you?" I whisper as I lean in for a hug.

"Because, that's not how it works here." He kisses the top of my head. "I feel the same though."

I nod and lean up and kiss him.

"I love you." I say.

"Love you too. Do you want me to walk you there?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"I'm okay." I say. I kiss him again and leave my compartment. I sigh when I leave the room and head straight to where I'm supposed to be. This appointment was all set up, so it's with the same woman as before.

"Hello Annie." She says when she walks into the room. She looks more tired than she did last time. Maybe there are more injuries. I think since things have cooled off a bit that wouldn't be the case. I guess people are getting hurt everyday.

"Hi." I smile meekly.

"How have we been doing?" She asks.

"I'm okay. Better than before." I say.

"That's good. Is everything okay? Has it all cleared up?" She asks and I nod.

She looks at me and takes some blood to be sure.

"It looks like you're alright now. The blood test will make it 100% sure. Do you have any other questions?" She asks.

"You're Katniss' mother." I blurt out instead. I knew the last name sounded familiar.

"Yes." She says confused.

"Sorry, your last name was just familiar. I finally made the connection."

"Oh." She smiles.

"May ask I something?" I whisper.

"You may." She says.

"All of this mockingjay stuff... her a symbol. Do you like it?" I ask.

She smiles.

"I trust Katniss' judgement however, I wish I would get told when she left and went into possible danger." She says.

I nod.

"Okay." I say. I'm not going to ask anything else. I feel like I'm prying.

"Anything else?" She smiles.

"No." I say.

"Alright if you have any other discomfort please come back." She says and leads me from the room.

I'm about to leave the hospital when I hear her voice.

"Do my eyes deceive me or are you back?" Johanna snarls. Her skin has started to scab over, they, don't look infected but, her hair still isn't growing in. It's only been a few weeks, but something should have shown by now. I wonder what they did to her.

"It's me Johanna." I say and head towards her.

"I didn't say I want to talk with you." She says.

"Fine I'll leave." I mutter.

"Wait." She says before I can turn around.

"Yes?" I say.

"What are you doing here?" She asks trying to sound nice.

"Had an appointment." I mutter and start picking my nails.

"What kind of appointment?" She asks.

"The kind I don't want to share." I say.

She nods.

"Well at least they didn't fuck you up as much as they did Peeta." She smiles. "Man that boy can scream."

I stand up.

"Johanna." I say annoyed knowing they shared cells.

"What?" She says.

"I don't want to talk about what happened there." I whisper.

"To anyone?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." I say.

"Have you told Finnick?" She asks.

"The terrible stuff." I say. I only told him I was raped not that they injected all theses things into me. They did the truth serum to Finnick so that wouldn't be hard to explain. But other stuff would be.

She nods.

"Well, there is that. Finnick would get annoyed fairly quickly, not being able to help, or rather 'fix' you." She smiles.

"What are you talking about?" I say slightly angry.

"Finnick likes fixing things it's what he's good at."

I smirk.

"What?" She looks at me confused.

"Finnick isn't good at fixing things. He almost blew up our house and I'm not exaggerating."

Johanna smirks.

"I meant emotionally. I think it's because he was fucked up for so long." She looks at me and smiles. It's a nice smile. I think she's smiling because she knows I'm the reason he's not so 'fucked up'

"Well that might be somewhat true." I say. Then look towards the clock. "I need to go." I say. If I run I might be able to see Finnick before my therapy session.

"Fine go." She says. "It doesn't hurt to have visitors though." She says.

Is Johanna actually asking me to come and see her? If I was her. I would want someone to visit me too.

* * *

"Hello Annie." Dr. Ash says to me.

"Hi." I whisper.

"How are you today?" He asks.

"I'm alright." I say.

He nods.

"I heard you drew something yesterday."

"I did. If you can call it that. It was a few swirls and lines." I say and he nods.

"I also heard you had a discussion with Peeta." He says.

"Oh… yes. I... I saw some of his painting and..." I close my eyes. "I didn't like what he painted." I say.

"That's good, but what did you think of him?"

I open my eyes confused.

"What?" I say.

"Did he seem alright?"

"I thought this was my session..." I say confused.

"It is but... we don't have much information on his… situation and you seem to know him-"

"I've never met Peeta before the Capitol." I say "And that was less than an hour." I rub the back of my neck. "He did seem alright though... until Finnick came into the room." I whisper.

Dr. Ash nods.

"Thank you." He smiles. "Now, would you like to discuss anything in particular today?" He asks.

I swallow hard.

"Dr. Ash I want to tell you something." I say softly.

"Okay well everything in this meeting is in confidence." He smiles.

"I want to talk about what happened to me in the Capitol." I say.

"That's wonderful." He says.

I nod.

"It's just." I look down and pick at my cuticles. "When I was there." I breathe in and out. "I was raped."

"Annie-"

"By three or four of my guards." I sniffle. "It was rough." I say and put my hands over my face remembering.

"It's okay Annie take it slowly." He says gently. "It's a good thing you're talking about this. It's a sign of healing." I look up at him and he smiles. "Have you told anyone else this?" He asks gently and gives me some tissues.

I nod.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"How did he react?" He asks.

I smile.

"Like Finnick." I say. I know this isn't a good answer for him but it is for me.

He nods.

We talk about this more not very much because their isn't that much to tell. Well there is, just not that much I want to share. Not with him anyways. With Finnick, yes. About how they smelt. How I could feel their hot breath me and how I can sometimes still feel those rough touches. I know Finnick can relate to this. To all of it.

"Alright Annie. It's drawing time." He says and we head to my room. There's only an hour left this time.

I sit down and see there is dried paint on the floor from where Peeta was painting.

Dr. Ash leaves and I grab a sketch book.

I breathe in and out deeply. I still can't do this and I don't understand why.

I tap the eraser to the desk. I draw those squiggles again. I think if I was outside I might be able to draw again but, there's nothing to draw in here except dark corridors.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

I hear footsteps and wipe it away quickly.

"That's nice Annie." Dr. Ash says.

"Thanks." I mutter.

"Alright our session is over. I'll see you tomorrow." He says and I get up and leave.

I look at my arm and see I have free time for the rest of the day. Which I am grateful for. I go back to my compartment and look at the notebook and pencil on the desk. I try to draw something but, still nothing.

"Annie?" Finnick says and I jump by his voice.

"What?" I ask confused still looking at the blank piece of paper.

"It's dinner time." He says.

"Okay." I say and nod.

He reaches out his hand for me which I take.

"Was your doctors appointment alright?" He asks as we walk through the halls.

I nod.

"I'm alright now." I say.

"That's good." Finnick says and brings my hand to his lips.

"Yeah." I say and we get to the kitchen.

We sit and eat. Finnick and I don't talk much, which I don't mind. We don't always talk durning dinner. I do lace my fingers with his and like the closeness of him.

When we are finished Finnick takes my hand and we head back to the compartment. I sit on the desk and twirl the pencil in my hand.

Finnick watches me with a very calculated expression.

"What?" I finally ask.

"I want to take you somewhere." He smiles.

"Where? The armory so we can blow stuff up?" I smile.

He shakes his head.

"Something else." He says. "Make sure to bring the sketch book." He smiles. I notice we are going to command.

"Finnick-"

"Relax." He says and we walk through a room. It's warmer in here.

I see it is nature. I see trees. Flowers. Grass and fast moving birds.

"Pretty." I whisper.

"Finnick." I hear a familiar voice say.

I turn towards it.

"Beetee." Finnick smiles.

"Can I help you?" Beetee asks. He looks tired. We all are but it looks like he hasn't slept since he got here. He is also in a wheel chair. I wonder if that shock paralyzed him.

"Well yes and no." Finnick says.

"I see." He says.

"Annie needs something to draw and she can't go outside. I know you're studying how hummingbirds react but, do you think Annie could-"

"Annie, you can stay here and draw if you wish." He says smiling at me.

"Thanks." I whisper. He nods and goes back to what he was doing. I sit on the ground and Finnick places the sketch book in my hands.

"Finnick, I get what you're doing but-"

"Annie come one, this forest, these flowers, those birds, are way better than sitting in that bland classroom." He smiles and picks one of the flowers and places it behind my ear.

I smile.

"Is that allowed?" I whisper.

"Yesterday you blew something up and today you're asking if it's okay to put a flower behind your ear?" He smiles.

"Be quiet." I tease.

I look around for probably fifteen minutes. I sit pretzel style and start to make the outlines of the trees.

Finnick gets closer to me and I can tell he is smiling.

"Back off Finnick." I mumble.

He does.

"Sorry." He whispers.

I look around and see Beetee still taking notes furiously.

"What's he doing?" I ask Finnick.

"Studying there movements or something... how they act... I'm not sure."

"Aren't you like 'involved' or whatever?" I ask and start to smudge some of the lines to make it look not so perfect.

"I'm training to be a solider I'm not involved with all the smart weapon building stuff." He smiles.

I nod.

"Brute force and nothing more." I smile.

"Well, you need some of those people." A small bird comes over here and it's in front of the flower. It's wings are flapping so fast that I can't even see them. It looks like like are suckling on the nectar.

"What are you doing?" Finnick asks as I turn the page. I don't answer him. I've never seen a bird like this before. It's so interesting by how fast it's wings move.

It moves away before I can get the outline of its body.

I frown.

"What?" He asks.

"Didn't get it." I say and hold up the half drawn bird.

He smiles.

"There are tons in here Annie. I'm sure you could if you ventured around."

"No, I'm okay." I say and flip back to the forest page.

I get about half a page done when I see Finnick smiling at me.

"What?" I ask.

"You're drawing."

"I am." I say and press my hands to his face which still has pencil residue on them. I can see my fingerprints on his cheeks.

Finnick takes my hands from his face and kisses both of them.

"I love you." He says and kisses the spot between my eyebrows.

"I love you too." I smile.

"With this stuff on my face maybe you should draw me. It's very-"

"Abstract." I smile thinking of the day of my Victory Tour where I smeared charcoal on his face and drew a portrait of him. That was also the day he told me about his parents and Michael.

I kiss his cheek.

"Thanks." I whisper.

"Oh." He pushes hair behind my ear and smiles. "It was nothing." He says and pulls me up.

"No it wasn't." I say.

"Once again, you're giving me more credit than is deserved." He says and takes my hand as we walk back to our compartment.

"No one else in this dungeon would've done this."

Finnick smiles and we stop walking.

"What?" I ask.

"That's because no one else in this dungeon knows my Annie Cresta." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Since when did I become your personal property?" I tease.

"Since ever." He smiles and wraps his arm around my waist. I lean against him.

"Hey Finnick." I say when we are half way there.

"Hey Annie." He says.

"I love you." I say.

"I know." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"I want you to say it too." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says.

**A/N: Hello everyone and thank you for reading! Anyways I have a poll on my profile right now that I think you should check out :). Anyways thanks again for reading.**

**\- Susan.**


	188. Chapter 188

**Chapter 188**

I feel a tickling like scratching on my cheek.

"Mmh." I moan and roll over.

I don't want to wake up. This place is finally starting to feel alright. I just hate the waking up early. The tight schedule. The being away from Finnick. It could be worse though.

I feel the tickling again, it's distinctly, on my cheek.

"Stop." I end up moaning out.

I feel Finnick's arm around me tighten slightly. I woke him up.

"Are you okay?" He whispers and strokes my hair.

I turn towards him.

"Yeah it's just." I run my hand over Finnick's cheek.

I smile.

"What?" He asks confused.

"Stubble." I whisper.

"What?" He says again. I don't think he heard me.

"You're face." I run my hands across his cheek bones. "There's stubble."

"I'm-"

"I've never seen it on you before." I say. It's like I'm looking at something I've never heard of before or a shiny new toy.

"Well that has to do with-"

I cut him off. I know why I've never seen it on him before. It has to do with the drugs they gave him in the Capitol.

"The drugs they gave you." I say and move my hands to his chest.

"Yes." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"But they're not working now." I say and can tell I'm smiling. Just a little.

"That's because I've missed a few injections." He smiles.

"I know but Finnick-"

"Yes?" He asks.

"Do you think the other stuff they did to you, could reverse... like this?" I ask.

Finnick takes my hands off his chest and laces his fingers with mine.

"I don't know. I wouldn't bet on it though." He says and kisses my cheek.

I nod.

"Sorry." He whispers.

"I wasn't counting on it. You shouldn't apologize anyways. Not your fault. Besides, like I said I don't want children. I just need you." I say.

He smiles.

"I know."

I kiss his cheek. I know he doesn't like this. I think it's because he doesn't believe me.

"I can shave if you want." Finnick says trying to change the subject. "Although, I haven't done that in years so I might massacre my face." He teases.

"No I like it." I say and he kisses me. It feels scratchy because of the stubble but I don't care because it means Finnick is getting better. Finnick is no longer being held captive.

* * *

Finnick and I walk back from dinner holding hands.

"How was today for you?" Finnick asks.

"Alright. I think I'm starting to like this place. Well ,for you know, refuge." I say and he nods. "There are things I would change though." I say as we open the door to our compartment.

Finnick nods.

"Me too. But I get why they do it." He says.

"So do I. They needed to survive." I say and sit on the bed and Finnick sits on the desk.

"That might break you know. I don't know how sturdy it is." I say with a smile.

He rolls his eyes and moves to the chair.

I smile but it soon fades.

"Finnick I want to talk to you."

"Okay?" He says worried.

"You're training to be a solider."

"I am." Finnick says.

"Which is great but, what is going to happen if you go into battle?" I swallow hard. "I won't stop you but-" I put my hands over my neck and rub it back and forth. I have been wondering this for awhile but, never wanted to talk to him about it. Not until it was a sure thing but, I can't hold it in anymore.

Finnick sits next to me and rubs my back.

"Don't think about this now Annie."

"It will come up eventually Finnick."

He kisses my cheek.

"I haven't even passed my solider requirements yet."

"But you will Finnick." I whisper.

He kisses my forehead.

"Annie, I'm not going to go unless you say it's okay."

"But-"

He kisses me and looks me dead in the eyes.

"I won't go unless you say it's okay." He whispers. I wrap my arms around him and lean into his shoulder. He rocks us back and forth.

He kisses the top of my head.

"Okay?" He says.

I swallow hard.

"Okay." I whisper.

Finnick lets go of me and smiles.

"Finnick wait, there's more." I say.

"Okay." Finnick says and smooths my hair.

I look off to the side. Slightly embarrassed.

"I want you to kiss me." I whisper.

"Annie-"

I shake my head.

"I can't... I can't do that yet." I clear my throat. The thought of sleeping with him again terrifies me. "I just want you to kiss me... a little like before." I say. My face feels hot. It always does when talking about this stuff. Finnick knows this as well. Sometimes I think, he thinks I'm a prude.

Finnick kisses my forehead. Then my cheek. Then my lips. His lips are still chapped. Mine are as well, but it feels the same. Finnick's fingers run gently up and down my spine and my fingers lock into his hair.

Lips are starting to part and tongues are grazing against each other. My breathing is starting to get heavy and I have that nice tingling feeling in my fingertips and toes. This is usually when things change and step up a notch. My body wants to but my head doesn't. I know I can't do that, not yet, no matter how much my body is tricking me.

"Stop." I whisper and Finnick does and backs off more than necessary. "It's just." I put my hand on his chest. "That was nice." I smile.

"Okay." Finnick says confused.

"I mean. It was nice. Really nice." I look down at our interlocked hands. "I um." I look back up at Finnick who looks concerned. I breathe in and out deeply.

"Are you okay Annie?" He asks.

I nod.

"I just. If we." I motion back and forth. "Kept kissing. I would've let you." I put my pointer finger to his chest and he raises his eyebrows. "Touch me." I whisper and point my thumb back at me.

"Annie-"

"I know I don't want to, but it's like being drunk you know?" I say and Finnick is looking at me concerned. "Your inhibitions get lowered and you just want to give into them. I would've-" I breathe in and out deeply thinking of what would've happened if I did that. I wouldn't be ready. I would feel disgusted with myself.

I look down at my lap.

"Annie." He says and strokes my hair.

"What?" I whisper.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want to." He says and rubs my back.

"But I would've let you!" I shout.

"Annie. I wouldn't have asked." He says gently.

"But. But. But." I say and start crying.

"Annie." Finnick says and wraps his arms around me. "You're okay. You're safe here." He whispers and strokes my hair. "You're safe here." He says again.

I start sobbing.

"Shhhh." Finnick says and rocks me back and forth. He rubs my back. "I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe here." He whispers.

"I can't kiss you." I sob.

"That's okay." Finnick says gently and strokes my hair.

"No, it's not. I love you. I'm supposed to kiss you." I whimper and feel a snot bubble.

"Shhh." He says. "It's alright. Just listen to my breathing. Try to calm down." He says and breathes in and out extra deeply. More so than usual.

I calm down enough where I'm not sobbing. I am just gripping his shirt and shaking.

"You're okay Annie." He says. I look up at him and he smiles. "You're okay."

I put my hands over my face.

"I love you Annie." He says.

I make whimpering sound and nod.

"Okay." I whisper.

Finnick leaves the bed. I reach for him to stay. He soon come back with toilet paper in his hand. He starts wiping off my face.

"You're okay. Okay?" He whispers.

"Okay." I whimper.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I whisper.

He calms me down and cleans me up. I cling to Finnick for hours.

"Annie." Finnick whispers.

"Yes?" I croak out.

"We should go to sleep." He says.

I nod and sniffle.

We both get ready for bed.

"Annie?" Finnick says.

"What?" I croak.

"Do you want me to sleep in the same bed with you?" He asks.

I nod and can feel tears form in my eyes.

Finnick holds me as soon as he is next to me.

"You're okay. You're safe here Annie."

"I know. I know I'm safe here." I whisper. "I'm just afraid."

"Of what?" He asks.

"What I feel." I say and feel a tear roll off my nose.

"Annie. I know you. I know you enough to know what you really want and I'm never going to ask you anything again."

I look at him confused.

"You'll need to tell me." He says seriously.

I sniffle.

"Okay." I whisper and feel my face getting hot. "I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says.

It's quiet and I know he isn't sleeping.

"I should've never asked you to kiss me." I whisper.

"Annie you thought you were ready." He says.

"I can never be with you Finnick if I can't even have a hot make out session with you!" I sob.

"Shh." He says and smooths my hair.

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I just love you so much Annie. I love you so much. God when you were in the Capitol and I thought you were dead I just wanted to hold your hand and see your smile. I just wanted to be near with you. I just wanted to be in the same room with you. And that's all I still want. Okay?" Finnick says and smiles.

I smile back and I believe him.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says and I know he does.

I just wish it could be like before.


	189. Chapter 189

**Chapter 189**

I tap my fingers against the table top. I didn't leave the room today. Not for breakfast and not for my schedule.

I told Finnick I was too tired to eat breakfast. Which isn't that hard to believe with all the crying I did last night. We only got three hours of.

But, I did tell Finnick I would still follow my schedule; kitchen help, therapy, and communication, but I never planned on it.

I put my head on the table and cover my arms around it. I can feel myself about to cry again.

I hear a knock on the door and jump. I don't rush to answer it. I'm just hoping they will go away. It isn't communication hour so I don't have to. I'm supposed to be at kitchen help. Maybe they are looking for me so I can be punished.

"Miss. Cresta you need to come with me." I hear a very official voice say.

I don't answer.

"I know you're in there." They say gently.

I sigh.

I get up and open the door. It's someone who is important. I can tell from their uniform and from some of the gadgets they have.

"What?" I whisper.

"President Coin wishes to see you." He says.

"What? Why?" I ask confused and frightened.

"She wants to see all of the victors." He says and takes my arm. He isn't dragging me. I could easily run away if I wanted to. I'm not going to. Not because I'm afraid but, because I do want to meet this woman. Finnick has talked about her. He says there's something about her he doesn't understand. He doesn't have to say it. I know he doesn't trust her.

We get taken to a room and before me is Haymitch and a woman. A woman who has no expression and has perfectly straight brownish hair. It's so straight that I think it might be a wig. This. This must be President Coin. She doesn't look very friendly.

"Hello Annie." Haymitch says.

I swallow hard, remembering, the last time I saw him I slapped him across the face.

"Hi." I say.

I notice Coin is watching me like an experiment just like Beetee used to.

"I was told the other Victors would be here." I say looking at her.

"They will be Miss. Cresta the ones who are available."

I turn towards Haymitch and the words fall from my lips before I can stop them.

"How's Peeta?" I ask.

Coin leans in as if to listen to our conversation. She doesn't have to lean in we aren't that far away. Something about this is odd. It's like she is observing us.

"He's... "He trails off. I think he grateful when the door opens.

I turn towards it and see it is Finnick. He looks worried.

"Annie." He says and hurries over towards me. He kisses my cheek but backs away realizing he maybe shouldn't have.

"I'm okay." I say and reach to hold his hand which he brings to his lips.

"Do you feel better?" He asks.

"I don't think so Mr. Odair considering she wasn't at her required job of kitchen help." President Coin says. Her voice is very calculated. I can tell she doesn't believe I was sick. I know Finnick isn't stupid. He knows I wasn't either. "Normally there would be some type of punishment but in _your_ situation I don't think it will be necessary." She says.

"What's that mean my situation?" I say.

"Well, someone as frail as yourself... it wouldn't matter."

"But I-" I start to say but Finnick grips my hand tightly telling me to shut up. I wonder why. If this woman is all about democracy and speaking freely I should be able to defend myself.

"Can we get this over with. I need to get back to helping Katniss." Haymitch grumbles.

"We only have Beetee left." Coin says.

I wonder what Haymitch means helping Kantiss she's all the way in District Two.

I wonder.

"Miss. Cresta." I hear Coin say agitated.

"Mmh?" I say and look up at her. I see it has been forty five minutes. Whatever they were speaking about I wasn't listening to.

"Do have anything you'd like to share?" She asks.

I want to look to Finnick for help but, know that wouldn't be a good idea.

"Whatever you came up with sounds fine." I say and clear my throat.

"And what would that be exactly?" She asks.

"To um help aid Katniss." I say. This can't be a wrong answer no matter how you spin it.

She sighs.

"You are dismissed." She says and waves her hand at me like I'm garbage. I expect Finnick to object but he just lets go of my hand and kisses my forehead.

I make a grumble noise as I push through the doors.

"Now where were we?" She says.

I stomp back to my compartment and close the door harshly behind me. I forget about everything else today. I'm confused as to why Finnick didn't say or do anything to defend me. He just let me get kicked out of a meeting. I wasn't paying attention but that doesn't mean I wouldn't.

* * *

I hear the door open.

"It's lunch time you already missed breakfast." Finnick says and holds out his hand.

I sigh.

"Finnick why did you just let her kick me out?" I ask.

"I'm not going to go against her Annie."

"Why?" I ask.

Finnick sighs deeply.

"Why Finnick?" I ask again.

He pulls out the chair and sits next to me.

"I've spent many years of my life with Snow. I know how he works. He's very analytical. He doesn't do something out of personal vendetta... usually." He says.

"So?" I say confused.

"So, what I'm saying, is I don't think she's the same way."

"You're saying she is worse than Snow is?" I say confused.

"She thinks the Capitol is pure evil."

"It is." I say confused.

He shakes his head.

"That's not what I meant. She thinks all the citizens, and I do mean all of them, are evil. She thinks they should die. All of them."

"But Finnick they're not evil they're just..."

"Stupid and shallow yes I know believe me I know. The majority of the population are because that is all they know but that doesn't make them mass murders. The people who run the government. Snow, gamemakers, and other higher ups are the true evil." He says.

"So what? You think she is going to kill everyone in the Capitol out of spite because they made her and her people live underground?"

"There was also a plague Annie. Her husband died."

"So you're telling me, you think she would commit genocide just for that? That would kill so many people Finnick." I whisper.

"I know." He says.

"If we do win... what will happen then? To the Capitol or Capitol rebels?"

"I don't know." He whispers.

"You don't think she would kill them after helping us, do you?" I ask worried.

"I don't know." He says.

I look down at my feet.

"Annie." He says and rubs my knee.

"I know we're on the right side." I whisper. "I mean no more games... no more being owned... forced to work as slaves... a fair chance..." I look up at him. "But wouldn't it be the same situation?"

"What are you talking about?" Finnick asks.

"Having a leader you can't trust." I say.

"You can never trust anyone 100% Annie."

"I know." I say. It's silent for awhile. "Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes?" He smiles and pushes hair behind my ear.

"If you woke up and you had no memory of any of this. The games, terrible living conditions, being treated like a sex toy, President Snow, the war, the Capitol; all of. Would you trust the analytical person? Or would you trust the personal gain person?" I say.

Finnick sighs.

"We can't miss lunch. Especially since you missed breakfast." He says.

I sigh.

He doesn't have to say his answer because I already know it. He would trust the analytical person more. But in a case like this does that mean Snow is a better person than Coin?

* * *

After Finnick told me about Coin I couldn't stop thinking about it. I also can't stop thinking about how I can't kiss Finnick. I want to but... I'm afraid if I do. It will lead to touching which will lead to sex.

"Mmmh." I moan as I open the door to Dr. Ash's room.

"Hello Annie. How are we today?" He asks.

I open my mouth to say fine or good but to my surprise I end up crying.

"Oh, Annie. Come in." He says and leads me to the couch. He gets me some tissues and doesn't talk to me until I'm calm enough. "What seems to be bothering you?"

I swallow hard.

"Finnick and I." I whisper.

"Are you fighting?" He says.

I shake my head.

"No." I look at my hands.

"You can tell me Annie."

I breathe in and out deeply.

"Finnick and I were kissing the other night and um... I started to feel..."

"Scared?" He asks.

"No... Yes... I wasn't scared that Finnick would hurt me or something. I was scared that I would let him... do things to me." I whisper.

"Which you don't want?" He says,

"I do... I think... I think...he might... think I'm disgusting then. He might think that I'm a whore. I mean what those monsters did to me. They touched me in dirty places. They gave me a disease." I put my elbows on my knees and cover my face with my hands.

"Annie, Finnick won't find you disgusting. He loves you. He only wants to make sure you're happy and healthy."

"I'm still disgusting." I whimper. I'm saying things to him that I didn't even realize myself.

"Annie some people feel this way after a trauma like this."

"I know this isn't my fault." I say and look up at him. "I know there's nothing I could've done. But I feel disgusting because before all this... no one has ever. No has ever." Dr. Ash looks at me waiting for my response. "No one ever touched me or slept with me." I whisper. "And I liked that. I liked knowing only Finnick has seen and felt me like that. It made it feel more special" I whisper. I can't believe I'm telling a stranger all of this. I've never told Finnick that. I guess it's easier to spill your secrets to a stranger because you don't actually know them.

"I already feel disgusting. I just... he isn't going to want to touch me because someone else has. He's going to see me and think I'm disgusting." I whisper.

"Annie, have you told Finnick any of this?" He asks gently.

"No, no because I don't want to." I whisper.

"It might help Annie."

I just sniffle instead.

"Intimacy issues after a trauma like this are normal. Annie this is all very normal and I'm sure Finnick is fine-"

"That's the problem. He's always fine. He's fine with everything. He's perfect." I whisper.

I just end up crying for the rest of my session.

I leave the room and head towards the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" I hear Finnick say as soon as he is in my line of vision.

I sob something out and he just pulls me in for a hug.

"What happened in therapy?" Finnick whispers.

I hiccup I just take his hand and head to get something to eat.

I'm sure my face is red and has snot but I don't care. I am hungry.

Finnick has his hand securely wrapped around me. I lean against his shoulder and close my eyes.

"Can we talk somewhere?" He whispers.

I nod and we head to our compartment.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"No."

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Me." I whisper.

"What do you mean 'you'?"

"I'm disgusting. I'm." I breathe in and out. "Can we talk about this later tonight?" I whisper.

He nods.

"Okay." He says and kisses my forehead.

"I love you." He says.

"Love you too."

* * *

Sweeping and mopping the tables seem to be endless today. I almost don't want to stop when I'm told I can go.

I can't stop thinking of all the things I said to Dr. Ash. Some I didn't even realize and others I did.

I have relaxation time now so I head back to my compartment. I lie down on the bed and stare at the wall. In an hour I hear the door open and see Finnick.

"Hey? Feel better?" He asks and lies down next to me.

I swallow hard.

"No. I was talking with Dr. Ash today."

He nods.

"Okay." He says and sweeps hair off my shoulders.

"About me and you and those monsters from the Capitol." I clear my throat.

"Okay." He says worried.

"It's just... Finnick."

"Yeah." He says and kisses my forehead.

"I just always thought it would be just you. No one else for the rest of my life. That you would be the only one who..." I swallow hard. "But that's not true anymore." I sniff. "Which is why I'm disgusting."

"You're not disgusting Annie." He says and kisses my forehead. "I wish you were the only girl I was with too. Believe me Annie, I've been with plenty of other people. But... they were all nothing. All that mattered was you. All that still matters is you. You're not disgusting Annie. You're not disgusting." He says again.

There's only one way I will know he is telling the truth.

I get up off the bed and start to undo the buttons to my jumpsuit.

"Annie what are you doing?" Finnick asks alarmed.

"If you see then you'll believe I'm disgusting."

"Annie no no no keep your clothes on." Finnick says gently and reaches for my arms but it doesn't matter most of the jumpsuit is already down. All that is left is my undershirt and underwear.

"Annie you're not disgusting. You don't need to do this." Finnick says but it doesn't matter. Here I am, in our compartment, in front of Finnick naked. The last time I was naked in front of him was right before the arena. I didn't have all these scars and bruises on my body. I also wasn't raped.

Finnick looks me up and down. He has a strange look in his eyes.

"See I'm disgusting." I whisper as I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

Finnick shakes his head.

"You're not disgusting Annie. You're so beautiful." Finnick says in that tone of voice where I know he is telling the truth. He comes closer to me and wipes away my tear. He takes my hand and kisses every finger then laces his fingers with mine.

"You're so pretty." He whispers and wraps his arms around me. His hands are cold against my bare skin but they feel nice against my back. "You're so pretty." He says again and smooths my hair.

"You're not disgusting Annie." He kisses the top of my head. "You're so beautiful." He pulls back so I can look him in the eyes. "It hurts me that you can't see that right now. But just know Annie, I think you're beautiful." He says.

I lean into his chest and let my hands rest between his shoulder blades.

"I love you." He says and kisses the top of my head


	190. Chapter 190

**Chapter 190**

I can feel my face beating from how red it must be. Not only am I naked in front of him, but he also called me beautiful. Which Finnick knows is the compliment word I like the best. That's not why he said it though. He said it because he believes it.

I turn my head into his chest and start crying.

Finnick doesn't say anything. He wants me to speak first.

I sniff.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yeah." He says.

"I'd like to get dressed now." I whisper.

"Okay." He says.

"Can you close your eyes? I don't want you..."

"Okay." He says. He lets go of me and closes my eyes. This is probably silly because he just saw me naked.

I pull up my jumpsuit and sigh.

"Annie, you okay?" I hear Finnick ask because it has probably been a few minutes.

"Yeah. Sorry you can open your eyes." I whisper.

"That's alright." He says and comes towards me. "We still have some free time, do you want to go for a walk or something?" He asks.

"Can you take me back to that place with the humming birds?" I whisper.

He nods and we go there.

"Oh you don't have your sketch book." Finnick says thinking I wanted to come here to draw.

"I don't need it. I just wanted to feel like I'm outside." I say and sit down on the floor.

Finnick nods.

I look around and wish I could be outside.

"Annie." Finnick says.

"Yes." I whisper.

"It's been an hour. You have communication and I have input hour." He says.

"Okay." I whisper.

Finnick literally pulls me up and drags me back to our compartment.

"Finnick." I whisper and hug him before he leaves.

"You're okay. I'll be back soon." He says and pulls back.

I kiss him.

Finnick lifts his eyebrows in surprise.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says and kisses my forehead then leaves.

I breathe in and out.

I get a knock on my door and open it.

"Nina." I whisper.

"I'm not here for long. I still have your ring and necklace if you want them. Nothing was done to them..."

"Leave them on the dresser then go." I say.

"Alright." She says then leaves.

I go over towards them. I want to wear them but, a part of me doesn't believe her. I pick up the ring and and twirl it around and around. I'm about to put it on when I hear a knock on the door.

I go over to open it and am confused.

"Haymitch?" I say confused.

"You bake?" He grumbles.

"Bake?"

"Bake; cake, cookies, etc. Finnick mentioned it once."

"Yes, I can bake."

"Follow me." He says and takes my hand.

I start to panic. Feeling that I'm being dragged somewhere.

"Let go of me!" I shout loudly probably gaining a few stares.

"Sorry. We think you might be able to help." He says

"Help for what?" I ask confused.

"Peeta." He says and we start walking again.

"How will baking help Peeta?" I ask confused.

"His therapist thinks it might. Some calming effect like with you and drawing." He explains.

"Last time I was in a room with Peeta he tried to attack someone." I say.

"We think that was because Finnick was in the room. Peeta doesn't know you."

"Are you forcing me to do this?" I ask.

We stop walking.

"No but this is still a slippery slope Annie. They want to avoid things that are classically made in District Twelve in case it triggers something. And I don't know if you realized this but they don't really have desserts here."

"Just like alcohol." I mutter.

"We never did spend much time together." Haymitch smiles. I think that is a complement.

"So they want me around to make a classic District Four recipe?" I ask.

"Yes." He says.

"Why can't he just make a normal cake?" I ask.

"You ask the doctors that." He smiles.

"What if he tries to hurt me?" I ask slightly worried.

"There will be lots of guards." He says.

I breathe in and out deeply and notice we are at the kitchen.

"You don't have to do this." He says gently.

"No, I like baking. Besides, if that means I can eat something sweet in this dump." I say and we walk through the doors.

The kitchen seems smaller with all these people in it. Usually it is just a few people doing the dishes and mopping up the floor.

Right now however, I see lots of guards. They look strong. Military. A few doctors. A girl who looks around seventeen and of course Peeta.

Peeta once again looks normal. Well normal for this place. I just wonder how long this will last.

"Delly this is Annie." Haymitch says and gently pushes me towards the girl.

"Hi Annie." She smiles.

"Hi." I wave and my mentally unstable bracelet waves with it but she seems unfazed

"I need to be going. I'll be back later to see how everything is." Haymitch says then leaves

"Hi Peeta." I say and walk closer towards him.

"Hello Annie. I haven't seen you in awhile." He says softly.

"I know." I say. I wonder if he remembers that day. "It's been a little different... I-"

"Peeta, Annie is here to help you bake something. Doesn't that sound nice?" Delly smiles smoothing over the conversation. I like that.

"Is this true?" Peeta asks with his eyes full of whimsy.

"Yes." I say slightly confused. Wouldn't they have told him this.

"Yes. Something special from District Four." Delly says.

Special from District Four? Do I have any secret District Four recipe?

"That's great." Peeta says.

"Okay." I whisper and I feel like I'm choking.

"What do you new Miss. Cresta?" Someone asks.

"I can check the fridge I know where it is." I say and almost run from the room.

I hear footsteps after me.

"Annie?" I hear Delly say. "Did I say something I shouldn't have?" She asks gently.

"I don't know any special District Four recipes." I whisper.

"Peeta won't know that. Just make something you would at home. A favorite recipe. The doctors say frosting might be the best because of the motions, maybe a cake?" She says.

"Alright." I whisper and get things to make a cake.

I come back and see Peeta.

"What are we making?" He asks. I can tell he is excited.

"A cake. One I have for my birthday every year. It's chocolate." I say which isn't a lie. I usually have chocolate cake every year except my Mom doesn't always make it now. Sometimes Finnick does.

"That doesn't sound very District Four original." He says and I'm pretty sure he's joking.

"Well, it's not really but I think the ice cream can make it that way."

"We don't have ice cream Miss. Cresta." Someone says and I roll my eyes.

"I know. It's sea salt ice cream you make it yourself." I say and we start baking.

Peeta doesn't say much which I'm thankful for and when he does talk Delly is good at smoothing over the awkwardness.

I do like watching his face when he is frosting though. He looks very concentrated and somehow relaxed. I'm assuming this is normal Peeta. I wonder if Delly knows him, if she was a good friend before his world turned upside down. I'm assuming she would be.

"Okay all done." Peeta says after the ice cream is almost ready.

He didn't just frost the cake like I would've done. It would've been sloppy and messy as well if I did it. He did it with perfect craft and there are little flower designs on top.

"It's beautiful." I say.

"Thank you." He says. "Is the ice cream ready?" He asks.

I nod.

I eat it and it taste just like it would at home.

My throat gets tight at the thought.

"It's really good." I say.

"So is the ice cream. I've never made ice cream before. Haven't really eaten that much either." He says.

"It's not that hard to make." I say and he nods. "There's a nice ice cream stand at home. I go to it every summer with my friend." I smile.

"That's nice." He says and it is quiet. I can just hear the forks scrapping against the plates.

"How are you?" Peeta says abrubtly.

I swallow hard

"I'm okay. I'm drawing again thanks to uhh-" I can't tell him it was because of Finnick. "My Doctor." I say.

"That's nice." He says.

I wish I could tell Peeta the truth that I'm really not that okay. But if I did I would have to talk about Finnick which is not a good idea.

I look at the clock on the wall.

"We need to be going now. People need to set up for dinner." A doctor or guard says to us.

"Bye Peeta. It's nice to see you're doing alright." I say.

"You too Annie." He says and they drag him from the room even though he is very capable of walking.

I go back to my room and lie down.

"Hey." Finnick says and comes into the room. He kisses me and then backs away.

"What?" I ask because he has a strange expression.

He kisses me again.

"What?" I giggle.

"You taste like chocolate and something else."

"Ice cream." I say.

"I didn't realize they had things like that here." He says surprised.

"They don't. I don't think." Finnick looks at me strangely. "I was helping Peeta with his therapy."

"Which is... what, eating chocolate?" He asks confused and kisses me again.

"I should've gotten you a piece of cake." I say.

"But then I wouldn't get to kiss you." He smiles and kisses me again. "Besides I don't like cake." He says and I roll my eyes.

"Anyways back to Peeta's therapy." I say and push him back.

He smiles.

"It has to do with baking. Frosting specifically." I say.

"Why frosting?" He asks confused.

"Something about it being hypnotic and calming."

Finnick nods.

"He seem okay?" Finnick asks.

I nod.

"He seemed okay. I could tell he liked baking. He seemed happy." I say.

"That's good. Peeta deserves some of that and I know if Katniss hears that it will make her feel better as well." Finnick says.

I nod.

"Speaking of happiness." Finnick says and kisses me again. "How are you?" He asks more seriously.

"I'm okay." I whisper. "I think… I think I'm just going to take it day by day. You know? Try to move on." I whisper.

"Okay." Finnick says and kisses my forehead. "That sounds like a good plan. Just don't forget I'm here for you Annie." He says.

"I could never forget that Finnick." I say with a smile.

"Okay." He says and kisses my again. "God I missed chocolate." Finnick smiles and I roll my eyes.


	191. Chapter 191

**Chapter 191**

I hear lots of foot movement outside my compartment. It's my relaxation time at the moment. Once Finnick gets here we were going to go for a walk. It's been a week and I feel much better with myself personally. I just hope it stays like that.

I hear lots of talk and am curious to what is going on outside.

I open my door and see Elsa is leaning on the edge of the hall looking downwards. A lot of our neighbors are doing the same thing.

I walk next to her and place my hands on the rail. I don't see anything.

"What's going on?" I ask Elsa as I see a flurry of people coming back.

"Dunno." She says. I feel arms around my waist and jump.

"It's me Annie." I hear Finnick whisper.

I smile and lean against him.

"Do you know what's going on?" I ask him.

He nods.

"They're back from District Two." He says.

"Alright." I say. "Did something bad happen?" I ask worried.

"No. District Two has fallen." He says.

"What does that mean?" I ask confused. Although I think I know the answer.

"It means they are defeated. Some actually joined our side." He says. I wonder how he knows this information. Maybe it has to do with training to be a solider.

"Did lots of people die?" I whisper.

Finnick kisses the top of my head and nothing more. He either doesn't know or doesn't want to say.

"That means only the Capitol is left." Elsa adds.

"So... does that mean are likelihood of winning is very plausible. As in like 80%?" I ask and look up at Finnick.

"The Capitol is a tough infrastructure to break Annie. But yes, our chances of winning as of yesterday have gone up." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"We could go home." I say happily.

"Don't count your chickens." He says and kisses the top of my head. I then realize something. "That must mean Katniss is back." I say.

"Yes." Finnick says. I can tell there is more, he just doesn't want to say.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"There's a rumor Katniss got shot." He says.

I turn around and look at him.

"What's going to happen if she dies?" I whisper. Finnick told me about what will happen if Katniss doesn't fulfill her mockingjay duties, that we will be put through a trial and be given a punishment. I don't think Finnick and I will get punished to death, but I don't want to take that chance.

"I don't think it's that terrible Annie." Finnick says and kisses the back of my head.

I breathe in and out.

"Poor girl." I whisper to myself. She's only seventeen and yet she is the face of the rebellion. She is a symbol most of the country is looking up to, and with everything that is going with her personally, that must be hard. I don't know how she does it.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" I ask.

"I don't know." Finnick says and smooths my hair.

"I hope so. She's only seventeen Finnick." I say. Finnick has a strange expression on his face. "What?" I ask.

"Sometimes I forget how old her and Peeta actually are." Finnick says then sighs.

Finnick told me Snow's deal for him started when he was seventeen but, that doesn't mean he had a cushy life from the age fourteen to sixteen. I wonder if he is thinking about that now.

"Annie?" I hear and look up at him.

"Yes?" I ask.

"You okay? You had a look on your face."

"What kind of look." I say and smile like a little kid.

Finnick rolls his eyes.

"A look that made me worry." He says more seriously.

I sigh.

"I was just thinking about you, being seventeen." I whisper.

Finnick pulls me in for a hug and kiss my forehead.

"Not yourself?" He whispers.

I shake my head. That was the year my name was called for the Hunger Games. It would be understandable for me to think of myself but, I thought of him instead.

"Okay." Finnick whispers. "That's how old you were when you met me." Finnick whispers.

"I know." I say and smile.

I lean in and kiss him.

"Ugh barf, could you two be any cuter?" Elsa says and then walks away.

We both smile and Finnick kisses my cheek.

I'm about to get into a more serious talk about him becoming a solider but, am interrupted.

"Finnick, Annie! I'd love to talk with you both !" We both turn to the person who is shouting our names. I notice it is Plutrach Heavensbee.


	192. Chapter 192

**Chapter 192**

He reaches us and is huffing and puffing.

"What can we do for you Plutrach?" Finnick asks.

"I have a favor to ask for you and Annie. One I think you will love." He smiles widely.

"What would this be?" Finnick asks. I'm only partially listening. I don't really care what he is saying.

"We want to do a propo, one for entertainment, one to show that they can't break us." He says.

"I see." Finnick says and kisses the back of my head.

"Yes. I and some others were thinking a true form of happiness would be nice, maybe a certain celebration should take place.

"Do you want Annie and I to give suggestions?" Finnick asks confused.

"No, we were thinking what is better than love?"

"What?" Finnick asks confused.

"Plus everyone can see Annie is fine and well. Showing all the victors."

"What about Peeta?" I whisper.

Plutrach has a strange expression.

"Peeta isn't camera ready yet." He says. "Anyhoo Coin has very strict rules for this but I think I can twist her arm, this is for a propo after all."

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"For you to get married of course." He says so casually.

"Wait what?" I say shocked.

"You and Finnick now-"

"You're not going to ask if we're okay with this?" I say slightly angry.

"Well I just assumed after all and-"

I get Finnick to let go of me and walk away.

"Annie wait! You can have input on some things!" I hear.

I hear footsteps next to me and know it's Finnick.

"Did you know about this?" I ask.

"No, I swear Annie." He says.

"But, then why would he ask this?" I say still storming away.

"Because he wanted to show an inspiring video to show he hasn't broken us. Getting married during a war doesn't say broken now does it?" He says with a smile. "Besides, everyone knows I love you." He says and laces his fingers with mine.

I stop walk so I can look at him.

"If you don't want to marry me." He says "That's fine." He says and pushes hair from my face.

"I do. I do want to marry you. That's why I said yes to you... eventually." I smile. "But I don't think this is sincere." I say.

"Probably not." He says and I'm about to walk off but he grabs my shoulder. "But what does that matter? We're gonna get married." He smiles.

When he says this a smile instantly forms on my lips. I guess it doesn't really matter. Even though they are using our love for their personal gain. I will still be married to Finnick.

"We're gonna get married." I say and kiss him.

But then I think of something and my smile fades.

"You're not smiling." He says.

"I know. I know." I say.

"Then what's wrong?" He asks.

I rock back and forth on my feet.

"I thought we would be home... I thought..." I close my eyes. I can't say what I actually want to not out loud. I can't talk about my Mom, not yet.

Finnick nods he knows that's not the only reason.

He wraps his arm around my waist and we start blindly walking.

"I thought that too." Finnick says.

"It would've been nice."

"No, Annie you don't understand." He says and I look at him strangely. "I've really thought of it."

"Really?" I smile.

He nods.

"I mean yeah..." He says.

"Then tell me how you envisioned us getting married." I say and he smiles.

"Well it couldn't be that big. It would've had to be a sort of a secret."

I nod. At least that is something. Everyone in the country will now know about us getting married. No longer having to hide.

"That doesn't mean it wouldn't be big. What about the starry night thing, the boat ride, the enchanted garden, the locket scavenger hunt, and the others in between. Finnick those were amazing things you planned. I know you would have done something equally amazing."

He smiles

"You're right I did think of a few things. Although, we would've planned this together. But, it would be simple. You in a nice dress, me in a dress shirt and pants. I imagined flowered woven into your hair." He pushes hair behind my ear. "You would be gleaming in the sunlight. We would be on the beach at sunrise."

"Don't you mean sunset?" I ask confused.

"Sunrises are better than sunsets. They're more beautiful. It is also the start of a new day. Our wedding would be the start of our marriage. A new life." He smiles and so do I.

"Would you really wake up early enough for sunrise?" I ask surprised knowing how he is in the morning.

"I would sleep the whole day before." He teases and kisses my forehead. "But, back on track I imagined us on the beach and under a beautiful structure. Flowers and flower chains would be everywhere. Kissing your saltwater tainted lips as the sun just started peeking out over the water. Listening to the wedding song."

"You make it sound perfect." I whisper.

"That's just the ceremony Annie. After the wedding it would be a nice gourmet breakfast."

"What? Would you do the cooking?" I tease.

"Everyone would pitch in." He smiles and I roll his eyes.

"Then what would happen?" I ask intrigued. It is as if he is telling me a fairy tale.

"Well, even though it is breakfast I would still smush cake in your face. There would be nice talk and both my grandmothers would talk about how I don't deserve you. Then around noon everyone would leave and we could do what married people do." He smiles.

I smile too.

"You really thought of this."

He nods.

"I thought about marrying you for awhile way before I asked. I knew you wanted to stay with me forever. I was just always afraid you would say no."

"Which I did."

"You did say yes the second time." He smiles and kisses me.

"Too bad none of that will happen." I say

"No one thing will be the same." He says.

"And what's that?" I ask confused.

"That I will marry you."

"That is true." I smile and kiss him.

"So what should I tell him?" He asks.

"_We_ are going to tell him yes-" Finnick leans in to kiss me but I put my hands on his chest to stop him. "But there will be some... conditions." I say.

"Like what?" Finnick asks as we walk in the direction Plurtach was.

"He is from the Capitol." I say and Finnick nods.

"I know."

"So, I don't want to look stupid. No makeup, no over the top dress, just me as me and you as Finnick... my Finnick." I say.

"Okay. I doubt they have any over the top dress here anyways." Finnick says.

"Katniss' prep team is here. I'm sure they would come up with something. Actually change in the condition."

"Okay." Finnick smiles.

"It doesn't have to be a dress or anything, just not these jumpsuits." I say and Finnick nods. "I don't want gray it's too blah." I say and Finnick smiles.

"Alright." Finnick says and we reach him.

"So?" He says although I can tell by his notebook he has written plans already.

"Yes but, we have some conditions."

He sighs.

"It's simple really." I say and tell him but I add something on the end. How I want the wedding song to be sung. I don't think I'm asking for so much. The thing I think I am asking for the most is not to wear gray.

"Oh Annie I already have fabulous plans and we can include the wedding song. I'm hoping to bring some Capitol flare into this having all the celebrations."

"Which would be?" Finnick asks.

"The three day celebration of course."

"Did you get that approved by Coin?" Finnick smiles.

"Well no but, this is for a propo so how could she say no." He smiles and I roll my eyes.

"I'd ask her first before you make any further plans." Finnick says.

Plutrach sighs.

"Finnick don't you have training then Annie and I can talk about what she wants."

"I already told you what I want." I mumble.

"Actually no free period." He smiles. "If you don't mind though Plutrach I think Annie and I would like to... _celebrate_ this news."

Plutrach nods getting the implication Finnick is saying.

"Alright come see when you are finished... I mean ready." He says and then walks off and we head into the compartment.

"Real smooth Finnick." I say.

"People get uncomfortable if you talk about that besides, I know you would want to just be with me for a bit." Finnick says with a smile .

"I do." I say.

"I know. Hopefully next time you say that it will be for a different reason." Finnick says and leans in to kiss me.


	193. Chapter 193

**Chapter 193**

It seems like most of the District has heard about the wedding or propo by now.

Most people are whispering and not about the plans. They are whispering about how a crazy or 'mentally unstable' person would get married at all, or seen desirable.

It doesn't bother me... much.

"Annie." Finnick says.

"Yes?" I say.

"Do you want me to walk you to therapy?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"No." I say and kiss his cheek.

He nods.

"Well, I guess I'll get to see Plutrach and Coin then." Finnick teases.

Most of my schedule has been excused and Finnick gets longer breaks so we can help with 'our' wedding. It is mostly there's but, Finnick and I are going to get married. Which is what is most important.

We get to say what we want. We don't want much. Most of the stuff we requested has already been approved. The only person who really wants our input is Plutrach and he is still a bit out of touch with what a wedding here actually means.

I think in the Capitol it is a week long celebration. Where it is all about the future bride and groom. Which is wrong but, it is a full week of endless partying. In District Thirteen there is no celebration, you just get a document and a new living compartment. Finnick and I will be receiving ours sometimes this week.

In District Four. At home. The wedding can be whatever you desire as long as you have a marriage license and the mayor to marry you. There is the traditional wedding song that is sung after we get married. The salute to the sea. Salt water dropped on our lips to represent the forever going sea. There is usually some type of net or woven chain placed around the couple when the vows are being read. I don't think much of that will happen, but I did get the wedding song approved so I think the rest will follow.

I nod.

"Do you want to request anything?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"Just write down the ten most absurd things they said." He nods. "I'll see you at lunch." I say and kiss him.

"See you at lunch." He smiles.

I walk into Dr. Ash's office as we talk about all the normal things. Until he brings up the wedding.

"So, how do you feel about getting married to Finnick?" He asks.

"Great. Happy." I say and nod.

"Would you care to elaborate?" He asks.

"I love Finnick and I always wanted to marry him but, this feels different. I didn't imagine it like this and then there's..." I look down at my lap.

"What is it Annie?" He asks.

"The way everyone talks about me. I'm sure you know what they say."

"I have heard some things Annie but, you can't control other people. You also should not care what they think of you. You understand who you are, correct?" He asks.

I nod.

"Then, that is all that matters. Would you like to draw now?" He asks.

I nod and we head to the classroom. He leaves and I start drawing with ease.

I start drawing a beach scene. It's nothing special just a beach, but it reminds me of home.

I hear the door slide open. I don't turn towards it. I know it's Finnick or Dr. Ash.

"Oh, sorry. Didn't think anyone was I here." A male voice says. I look up and see a man with a strong build. He has dark hair and dark eyes. He looks familiar. "I sometimes like to get out of the armory or command to think. This room is usually unoccupied." He says casually.

Is he asking me to leave?

"I see." Is all I say and go back to the waves. I have been working on this for hours. My talking time with Dr. Ash didn't take very long. I will probably use my whole therapy time which I usually don't.

"Like to sometimes draw my problems out. You see what with this being a drawing classroom."

"If you want me to leave just say so." I say annoyed.

"That would be rude." He says.

"And implying it wouldn't?" I say annoyed and move my hand over the clouds to make them look puffier.

"What are you drawing anyways?" He says before I can answer Finnick comes into the room.

He brushes past the person and walks right on towards me. Finnick kisses the top of my head.

"It's almost lunch time. I thought I'd meet you." He says and I nod.

He turns towards my drawing.

"All from memory as well." Finnick smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Thanks, I-" I'm interrupted by a groan like snort of the corner.

"Gale, almost didn't see you there." Finnick says. Something in Finnick's tone is strange. He doesn't like Gale.

"Well, here I am." Gale smiles. Looks like Gale doesn't like Finnick.

"Have you met?" Finnick asks and I shake my head.

"This is Annie-"

"I know who she is. She was part of the rescue." He says annoyed.

I look down at my lap.

"I didn't know who you were." I whisper and can feel tears daring to fall from my eyes. Finnick strokes my hair knowing this.

"Sorry." Gale says gentler.

I sniffle.

"It's okay." I say and he nods.

"Mr. Odair." I hear Plutrach say from the hall.

"Be right back. More wedding details." He says and rolls his eyes.

I nod.

"See you at lunch." I say.

"See you at lunch." He says and kisses me, then leaves.

Gale smiles and shakes his head.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing." He says.

"That's obviously a lie. What is it?" I ask confused.

"Were you his favorite or something?" He asks and it is almost as if he is trying not to laugh.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Person he has..." He trails off.

"What, no." I say angry.

"Well good. I don't know the dynamic of your... relationship, but I'm pretty sure he was going after Katniss while you were being held captive there. I mean you're in prison and he was still looking for a nice piece of ass."

I scoff.

"I'm sure he was." I say annoyed. I can't imagine Finnick even trying to go after her or anyone. From what I'm told and what Finnick told me he was a mess. Besides, from what I saw in that video when he was vomiting his secrets, there was no way he would be chasing after someone to get 'a nice piece of ass.' "Are you her boyfriend or something?" I ask. I don't know much of Katniss' personal life except that she has a thirteen year old sister.

"No." He snarls.

"Then why does that bother you?" I ask.

"Because I don't want a girl like _you_ to get hurt."

"What does that mean?" I ask.

He doesn't answer, his eyes just linger on the bracelet that I soon push to my chest.

We stare at each other for a moment longer. He sighs and gives up.

I growl and stare at the paper.

_A girl like you_. Repeats in my heart

I snap the pencil in half. I hear footsteps and then a kiss on my forehead.

"You okay?" He asks.

_A girl like you. A girl like you._

I nod.

"Alright. I have lots to tell you at lunch then." He smiles. "Our wedding is apparently going to be crazy." He says and I nod.

"You sure you're okay Annie?" He asks and looks me dead in the eyes.

"Yeah." I say and kiss him.

"Good and speaking of our wedding." I raise my eyebrows. "They found a way to get you a dress." He smiles and so do I.


	194. Chapter 194

**Chapter 194**

"Are you sure about this Finnick?" I ask as we head down the hall to where the hovercrafts are kept.

Katniss offered to have me wear one of her dresses. It's very generous and I am greatful but, I'm worried about going to District Twelve.

"Positive." He says and kisses my cheek.

"But I'm going to like, a war zone." I whisper.

"You'll be fine. They checked everything within a hundred miles and you will have eyes in the sky." He says.

"That's probably because of Katniss." I mutter.

"They don't want anyone to get hurt." He says gently.

I nod.

"Speaking of Kantiss how will this work?" I ask worried.

"How does what work? You're just picking out a dress." He says confused.

"I meant me talking to her. I've never talked to her before Finnick." I whisper.

He nods.

"Katniss knows I love you." I smile. "She knows that's good enough. Besides, I think she is as excited to get out of this place as much as you are."

"That doesn't mean she'll talk to me." I whisper.

"You're picking out dresses, that's a built in conversation. So is talking about the wedding. You can keep the conversations light and fluffy." He says.

"Maybe I can ask her about Gale." I mutter.

Finnick looks at me strangely.

"I mean nothing... I should probably stay away from talking about Peeta."

"Probably." He says and runs his fingers through my hair. "If she brings it up, I think it is safe territory." He says.

"I think I could figure that much out by myself." I mutter.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

I swallow hard.

"Finnick it's just... she's the main target… what if something happens to us?" I ask.

Finnick pushes hair behind my ear and kisses the tip of my nose.

"Nothing is going to happen." He says gently.

"Finnick you can't keep that promise." I look at him intently. He kisses my forehead.

"Annie… you're going to come back here safely." He kisses my cheek. "I'll see you first thing when you get back."

I nod and hug him.

We get to the hovercraft. I vaguely remember some of the people here. These hovercrafts look like the ones for the Hunger Games but, not at the same time.

"Finnick." I hear and then footsteps clang on the metal ramp.

It's Katniss. She looks tired and very pale. I guess she has every reason to be. They are working this girl raw.

"Hello Katniss." Finnick says with a smile.

She nods.

"Hi Katniss." I say softly.

"Annie." She smiles and it is silent.

Finnick clears his throat and breaks the awkward silence.

"I have to go train and find a 'respectable' outfit as Plutarch called it." He smiles.

I nod and Katniss smiles.

"But Finnick…" I say worried.

"Nothing too trashy." He teases and kisses my lips briefly.

"I love you." I say.

"Love you too." He says. I can hear the clang of his footsteps and then nothing.

"We can go when you're ready." Katniss says gently.

I nod.

"Now is fine... I guess." I say.

"Let's go then." She says and we head on the hovercraft.

"Get it off the ground." Someone says. I notice there are a few other people, probably guards. I also notice two others who stand out. They must be her prep team.

I smile at Katniss.

"Octavia, Flavius, and Venia. They were... are my prep team." Katniss says. She sounds a bit awkward.

I nod.

"We can make you look wonderful for your wedding Annie." One of them says. I think it is Octavia.

"I um... I just wanted to look plain." I mumble. That is what Diana would always call me. Dean would just say 'natural' I don't know which one I liked better. I wonder what happened to them. I did like Dean.

"Alright." She says disappointed.

I pick at my nails. I don't like silence, but it seems like Katniss is perfectly content. However, I hate silence.

"So am I trying on the dresses you would wear at home?" I ask.

She snorts but then gains more composure.

"I wasn't the dress wearing type. These are left over from my Victory Tour. Cinna… made them." She says. She sounds emotional. I think she cared about her designer

I nod.

"I didn't wear dresses much either." I smile and it is quite again.

"You really liked your designer didn't you?" I say and she looks at me and smiles.

"Very much. I take it you didn't like yours?"

I shake my head.

"Yule wasn't very nice." I whisper.

She nods.

I look at her she looks defeated. I can't help but pity her even though I hate pity.

"Katniss." I whisper and she turns towards me. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" She asks confused.

"That this happened to you." I say and motion towards her.

"What?"

"The whole symbol of a war type thing. You're only seventeen."

She smiles.

"Yeah. Well... I didn't choose this life, it chose me. I didn't want any of this Annie. I just wanted my sister… I just wanted to keep people safe." She whispers.

I nod and it is silent.

"I didn't know anything either. I mean, the rebellion" I say.

"Finnick told me." She says and it looks like she wants to say more.

"What?" I ask her.

"He would always ponder if he did the right thing or not. I mean telling you."

I nod.

"It would've been terrible either way. I'm just glad Finnick's alright." I say.

She nods and it's silent again.

"Annie." She whispers.

"Yes?" I ask.

"How did… when did you realize you loved Finnick?" She asks.

I'm confused as to why she is asking this. Maybe it has to do with Peeta or maybe that Gale guy I spoke with. He seemed to have an interest in her.

"I don't know… before the games, I hated him or the Finnick he projected to the world. Alter ego Finnick I like to call him." Katniss smiles. "After I won... Finnick didn't really leave me alone. I liked but also hated that... he can be rather annoying." I say and look into her eyes.

"I think it wasn't until my Victory Tour. All that time alone on the train, getting to know more about each other… was nice. Besides, he was always there for me and I was there for him."

"So you knew right away then?" She asks.

"No. People pointed it out but I thought they were just teasing me. I didn't realize it until I was sitting with him on the dock. We were just talking. Tying knots… the subject of me being part of Snow's deal came up and that didn't go over well. I knew when he looked at me though. I could tell… I think he could too. We didn't kiss or say anything on the matter until a few months later." I say and then smile. "I really love that idiot and he loves me too... for whatever reason." I say and she nods

"Good that's good." She says as if confused.

"Why are you asking?" I say.

"You're getting married." She smiles, but I can tell that's not it.

She sighs.

"It is nice to know that it wasn't love at first sight or anything."

I nod.

"It's just... Peeta." She whispers.

"Do you love him?" I ask.

"I think so. Finnick said I did but-"

"Finnick giving love advice I wouldn't look into it." I say. She smiles but it soon fades.

"Finnick said when Peeta 'died' in the arena. When he hit the forcefield... he said he could tell I loved him just not in what way."

I remember that. Finnick had a quizzical look on his face and I thought her acting was too good to be fake.

I nod.

"What does that mean Annie?" She asks.

"I don't know." I whisper.

"Peeta knew he always loved me." She whispers. "Now he thinks I'm going to kill him. That Peeta who loved me. He's dead." Katniss says.

It's silent for a long time.

"You don't know that." I say gently thinking of the Peeta I was baking with.

She looks at me strangely.

"He could still be there Katniss. It hasn't been that long. Don't give up on him just yet." I say.

She nods. We sit in silence until we land.

When we do land we are in Victors Village. The one in District Twelve is just like the one in Four. Twelve smells like I remember but the stench is more foul.

"What's out there?" I ask and step towards the exit, but Katniss grabs my arm.

"You don't want to see Annie." She says sadly.

"Okay." I say a bit frightened.

"Let's go." She says and motions towards a house, I'm assuming hers.

We walk inside and the prep crew and Katniss head to a closet. They pull out some dresses.

"Cinna." I hear all of them say in awe.

"Come, come Annie." One of them says.

I nod.

They hand the dresses up so I can see them all.

"All my wedding dresses were taken back to the Capitol." Katniss explains.

"That's alright. Those were a bit too flashy anyways." I say and she smiles.

She only has a few dresses from her Victory Tour like myself.

I see a nice blue one that has a puff ball skirt. It reminds me of a cotton ball. It is very puffy. There is a dark maroon dress that has long sleeves and reminds me of Christmas. There is a soft pink one that reminds me of my District Nine dress; strapless and short. The last one is a nice silky green. It is long and has a slit cut on one side that goes up to the knee, but isn't trashy. It has thin straps. On the back there is fabric that has x designs. Other than that it would be backless.

"Where would you like to start?" Katniss asks.

"Um... doesn't matter." I say and start with the blue.

"It's so pretty." I whisper. It could just be because I'm no longer in a gray jumpsuit. But the blue reminds me of the sea and the shiny gems as pearls.

"Cinna has a magic touch." Flavius smiles and starts running his fingers through my hair. I flinch away. "A high pony would look fabulous." He says.

"No thanks." I say.

He nods.

I don't bother with the maroon one. I don't want to wear long sleeves. Besides, I can tell it won't fit. Katniss has much broader shoulders.

I try on the pink one. I like it, but I know Finnick won't. He won't like this shade. He'll think I will look like cotton candy. I know he wouldn't say it but I know he will think it.

"No, not this." I say.

"But you look so nice." Octavia says.

"I know but Finnick won't like it. It's too pink." I say.

"Well, there's only one more. Do you want to try it or are you set on the blue?" Katniss asks.

"I think I'm set on the blue, but I want to make sure." I say and they hand me the green.

I go back to the bathroom to change. I'm glad we can have some discretion. I like that.

I pull up the dress.

I sigh.

This dress is loose on me but... it's so pretty.

My pale skin makes the green stand out even more. The design makes me look nice but when I put it on I just thought of Finnick's eyes.

I smile.

"This one." I whisper.

I walk out.

"You look wonderful." Katniss says.

"Thanks. This is the one." I tell her and she smiles. "But I think we should take it in a bit." I say as the strap falls down my shoulder.

"Of course." She says and the prep team goes to work. When they are finished I look beautiful.

"Thank you so much." I say and they smile.

They nod.

"Are we all done then?" Octavia asks.

"Almost, we have to go to Peeta's house to get that stuff for Finnick." Venia says then they leave.

"Do you know what they're getting for him?" I ask Katniss.

"A nice outfit for Finnick." She swallows hard. "Peeta has clothes left over too." She says.

"I don't think they will fit him." I say.

"They can alter it." She says. I nod. "Are you nervous?" She smiles.

"No." I say and smile. "We always said one day."

Katniss smiles.

"That's nice." She says. "Even though it's like..." She trails off.

"Ehhh." I say and she smiles. "I'm still marrying him." I say.

"There is that." She says.

We soon head back to the hovercraft but I notice something and smile. Before I know it I'm running into the woods.

"Annie wait!" Katniss shouts as I go into the forest.

I pick it up and smile.

Katniss has her bow and arrow out as if a million people will attack, then again they might, but I haven't been outside in forever.

"What are you doing?" She asks concerned.

"I wanted a flower or flowerz." I say and hold up the wild flowers. "There are even a few purple ones." I smile.

Katniss looks at me strangely.

"Finnick would always give me those." I explain.

"Those would not go well with the color scheme Annie." One of her prep team scolds.

"She can take what she wants." Katniss says. She sounds annoyed. I don't blame her. I ran off unarmed during a war. In a place that is probably bugged, but I just remembered what Finnick said about wild flowers being woven into my hair.

I take what I want and we head back to District Thirteen.

When we land and get back to the main area I see dozens of cameras.

"Woah." I whisper.

"You get used to the cameras." Katniss whispers.

"Doubtful." I say.

"Don't worry everything will be fine." She says. "Here." She says and places the dress in my hands. "I think it's almost time." She says.

I nod. I feel like there is a tennis ball in my throat.

I walk back to the compartment and see Plutrach standing outside.

"Good. Once Finnick's outfit is ready everything will begin."

"Okay." I nod.

"We'll get you when it's time." He smiles.

"Wait." I say and he stops.

"Am I going to see Finnick before?" I ask nervous he will say no. With all those cameras and possibly the whole District there I will need to see him before.

"It is supposedly bad luck Annie." He says. He can probably see the worry in my eyes. "But I don't think anything bad will happen." He smiles. "Oh and this is for you to say." He says and places a piece of paper in my hands.

"What's this?" I ask.

"Your vows." He says.

I look down at them. It's only three sentences and doesn't sound very loving.

"They're so plain." I whisper.

"That's what Coin approved." He says annoyed. "I'll send Finnick to you when it's time."

I nod and head inside my compartment.

I set the wildflowers down on the desk. I start to brush my hair. I make a braid headband and weave the flowers into it. It looks nice with my straight hair.

I breathe in and out. I don't want to put on my dress yet. Who knows how long it will be before...

"Annie?" I hear Finnick say. He is wearing a nice suit. You can tell it isn't his but that really doesn't matter.

"You look very handsome." I say and come from the bathroom.

He smiles.

"Thank you." He looks me up and down. "Couldn't find a dress?" He asks slightly worried.

"No, I haven't put it on yet." I say.

"Well, put it on." He smiles "I want to see how beautiful you look in it."

"Okay." I say and grab the dress and head back to the bathroom. I put it on and smile. The hair looks nice with the dress.

I leave the bathroom and Finnick smiles.

"You look so beautiful." He says and comes towards me. He runs his hand over my braid head band with the flowers. "Better than I imagined." He says and kisses my cheek.

I can feel my eyes water up with tears.

"I'm glad." I say. "You look very handsome." I say and he smiles.

He pulls something from his pocket. I look down and see what it is.

He grabs my hand and brings it to his lips.

"If you still want it." He says and puts the green pearl ring in my hand. The one that was his Mothers.

"Of course I want it." I say and he places it on my finger. I look up at him and smile. "Just so we're clear, you can still back out Cresta." He says.

"I wouldn't dare." I say. "But, I am going to miss that." I say.

"What?" He asks.

"The Cresta cutie name thing." I say.

"I can still call you Cresta if you would like. Besidesl I can't call you Odair because I have that last name. It would just get confusing." He says and I roll my eyes.

"I love you." I whisper. He kisses the top of my head.

"I love you too." He says.

We hear a knock on the door.

"I guess that means it's time." Finnick says and I nod.

Finnick motions towards the door.

"After you Miss. Cresta." He says.

"Thank you Mr. Odair."

That may be the last time Finnick calls me Miss. Cresta because after this after today, I will be known as Mrs. Odair.


	195. Chapter 195

**Chapter 195**

I fold and unfold the piece of paper that was given for me to say. It's like I'm on my Victory Tour being given something to read in front of a bunch of people but this isn't something terrible. This is my wedding. I smile at the thought.

I open the paper and read what it says.

_I take you to be my husband. To forever share a bond that can never be split. I take you knowing I will spend the rest of my life with you. I take you to be my husband. I do._

I flinch when I hear someone come next to me.

"Alright Annie, when the music starts that's when you will walk out." The person says.

"Okay." I say. I also wonder what kind of music will be playing.

I start picking at my cuticles. I feel nervous and more so as I hear a flute start to play.

I breathe in and out. I crumble the piece of paper in my hand and walk out. I don't do it gracefully, I just walk like I would every day.

I'm starting to regret not wearing shoes. I can feel every crack in the ground. I didn't want to hear my tennis shoes though. That seemed so not good enough and everything about this day needs to be good enough.

I get to the alter and see Finnick who is gleaming as bright as the sun and the person who will be marrying us. I can tell they aren't from here. I wonder where he is from.

"Now is the time for the bride and groom to share their love to one another." He says. I guess this is when I'm supposed to read those dreadfully written vows.

"Finnick, you may go first." He says.

Finnick smiles brightly.

"Annie, I love you more than I should. When I first met you, I just wanted to protect you and make sure you would come back to me alive. I still want that." He moves his hand to my cheek. "I still want that more than anything else, but I have more of you now. I have more of your heart now. I love you so much more now. I still don't understand how someone as beautiful and kind as you could love some fool like me."

I want to interrupt him and say he isn't some fool, but I know that would ruin this. Ruin this speech. His speech. I can tell he is going off the books even though the words are coming from his mouth so smoothly. They either didn't give him lines or he didn't care and thought about what to say. I just wish I would've thought of something to say to him.

"Annie, you and I have been through a lot over the years but, it doesn't matter because it always comes back to you and me. It always comes back to love. Annie, I love you more than anything or anyone else. I always want to spend every beat of my heart with you. And from this day on, I promise you that, for the rest of my life I will be there for you whether we are laughing or crying. From this moment on. I will be by your side all of the days and all of the nights for the rest of my life. I love you." He says with a smile.

I smile back and feel a tear fall from my eye out of happiness. Finnick quickly wipes it away.

I mouth 'I love you' and Finnick smiles.

"Now Annie, you may express how you feel about Finnick."

"I love you Finnick." I say and he smiles

Just speak from the heart. I think to myself. I'm not going to read some dumb prewritten vows now. I never really wanted to either.

"I love that you make me feel important and special even though I know I'm not. I like that you were and still are always there for me even when I wished you weren't." Finnick smiles. "I love how safe I feel when your arms are wrapped around me. I love all those nice gestures you did for me. You have no idea how much I love those." Finnick smiles. "I love lots of things about you. I know it won't be as poetic as what you just said but it still sums it all up." I smile and so does Finnick. "I love you. Ever since that first kiss, I have loved you and that will never end. Even after you die I will still love you." I say. Finnick smiles and mouths 'love you'.

"Very well. Now we will sing the traditional wedding song as Finnick and Annie fully commit themselves to each other." He says.

People start singing the wedding song. Someone actually wove a next to be wrapped around us. It isn't from flowers but it is still something.

We get salt water placed on our lips to represent a salute to the sea and how it goes on forever and so will our love, then we kiss.

I can tell that this water isn't truly salty. It tastes like they just threw some salt into water, but I don't mind. It still reminds me of home.

"Now, may I officially introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Odair." He says and I smile. That's the first time anyone besides Finnick has said it. I want to giggle like a school girl just hearing that.

Finnick and I kiss again. Then we walk down the path that I walked to meet Finnick. I'm surprised how quickly the ceremony was.

Finnick and I sit at a table that we are told to. I tangle my fingers with his and smile.

"We're married." I say like a little girl.

"Yes we are." Finnick says and kisses the top of my head.

I hear music start from somewhere and smile.

"Do you want to dance Annie?" He asks.

"In front of all these people?" I whisper embarrassed.

"Yeah, why?" He asks with a smile.

"You know I can't dance." I whisper.

"Well you're lucky I can." He kisses my forehead. "Just follow my lead." He says and pulls me up.

We start to dance. I try and follow his steps but, I'm terrible and step on his foot more than once.

"How about we sway instead." I whisper slightly embarrassed.

"Okay." Finnick says and kisses me.

"Thanks." I say and lean against his chest.

I can't stop the smile that is painted on my face and I don't want to.

"So did you come up with that just on the fly?" I whisper.

"The vows?" He says and I nod into his chest.

"No, after they gave me that garbage to read I wrote my own. Figured they wouldn't stop the whole wedding because I was speaking the truth about my beautiful wife." He says and I smile. "Did you not like it?" He says.

"I loved it." I say and he smiles. I lean in and my lips briefly touch his.

I smile.

"I just wish I would've thought of it." I say and kiss his cheek.

"I liked what you said. Some of those things were just something you and I know about each other." He smiles.

"I know." I say smiling back.

"Besides, anything would be better than what they gave us. What did yours even say?" He asks.

"I don't know, nor do I care." I say and kiss him.

"Neither do I." He says. We sway for awhile and then sit when it is dinner time.

I just now notice Finnick and I have a table to ourselves which I love.

I look down at dinner and see it is nothing really special but I don't care. I don't care about anything except Finnick tonight.

I kiss his cheek when we are finished.

"Do you want to dance again?" He whispers.

I shake my head.

"My feet are getting all dirty. I didn't wear shoes." I say and Finnick smiles.

He's about to say something when someone sits down across from us.

"You finally did it." Johanna says actually smiling.

"Yup." Finnick says and I smile.

"I'm just glad I was here to see it." She says and her eyes shift towards Katniss.

She sighs.

"She's such a Debbie downer." I hear her whisper. "I'm going to make sure our mockingjay has some fun." She smiles. "You two have fun. Just not too much." She says and walks off.

"It was so beautiful hearing how much you two love each other." I hear someone say.

"We're so beautiful." I mock and Finnick rolls his eyes.

"You are beautiful." He whispers and kisses me.

An hour later I see a cake coming from the kitchen.

Finnick and I move closer to see it. When we get close enough I can see it is decorated with all the sea animals I can imagine.

"It's so pretty." I say.

"It is." Finnick says.

We get cut pieces and I know Finnick wants to smush it in my face, but they would find that wasteful here.

I take the cake from his hand as we make it back to our table.

"Annie please." He whines.

"Finnick they won't like that." I say.

"Okay." He says disappointed like a child.

We sit down and start to eat. The cake tastes amazing.

Finnick takes a bite and then smiles. I know that smile he is about to do something stupid.

"What?" I ask mirroring his smile.

"Oh nothing." He says mischievously.

I look at him confused but soon understand when he smears frosting across my face.

"Finnick." I laugh and wipe it off.

"That's the best I will get to do in this place." He says with a smile.

I take the frosting on my finger from my face and smear it on his cheek.

"You're as sweet as sugar." I smile.

"I know." He says and kisses me. He ends up getting frosting on my cheek and I smile. I don't care. I know deep down I always wanted this. I always wanted him to smash cake in my face... or frosting.

I break the kiss and we start to wipe the frosting away.

After the cake and apple juice things seem to wind down. The cake was almost a symbol of saying parties over.

"Do you want to go back?" He asks.

I nod.

I stand up but soon feel Finnick's hands around me.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I feel him pick me up.

"That whole over the threshold thing." He smiles.

"You're going to carry me down the halls of this place over the threshold the whole way to our compartment?" I ask with a smile.

"I'd do anything for my wife." He says.

"Really?" I ask with a smile and he nods. "Well, can you set the wife down then?" I ask and he smiles. I feel my feet hit the floor and then his fingers lacing with mine.

"All ready Mrs. Odair?" He asks with a smile.

"Of course Finnick." I say and stand on my tip toes to kiss his cheek.

We walk back to our new compartment together. It is pretty much the same but, we have a bit bigger bed, more sitting room, and two chairs now.

Finnick opens the door and smiles.

"Yes." I say and he picks me up and carries me into the compartment. He kicks the door closed and then sets me down on my feet.

I smile and kiss him.

I then bounce on the bed.

"So..." I say.

"What, Mrs. Odair?" He asks and I smile from the sound of that name.

I want to say something about tonight but then look down and see how gross my feet look.

"I need to clean my feet." I say and Finnick nods.

"Okay?" He says confused.

"We already used our shower time." I say.

"I can help you wash them in the bathroom sink." He smiles.

"Okay." I say we bring both of the chairs in here. Finnick is doing most of the work. Or all of it.

"Tell me again why you didn't wear shoes?" Finnick asks.

"Because it wouldn't match with the dress." I say and giggle when he touches a particular spot.

He rolls his eyes.

"Since when are you for fashion?" He asks.

"Since it's my wedding. Since the whole country will see this." I say.

"They won't be looking at your feet Annie." He says.

I meet his eyes and smile.

I lean in and kiss him. He smiles and kisses me back.

I back away and suddenly no longer care about my dirty feet.

Finnick smiles and kisses my cheek.

I clear my throat.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes Mrs Odair?" He says and I blush.

"I think they're clean enough." I whisper.

"Annie they clearly aren't. I mean..." He stops talking probably figuring out what I actually mean. "Oh." He whispers. He kisses the top of my head. He takes my feet from the sink and dries them off.

"Finnick?" I say confused.

"Just let me dry them, okay?" He says still invested in my feet.

"Finnick you can forget about my feet." I whisper.

"I know." He looks up at me and smiles. He kisses the spot right above my ankle.

I smile.

I hold Finnick close to me. We start to kiss passionately. I start to undo the buttons of his shirt. But, when I throw it to the floor I suddenly become very aware of what is going to happen.

It feels like the wind has been knocked out of me and not in a good way. I can feel his hands run up and down the dress until he finds what he was looking for; the zipper.

"Finnick wait." I say more like gasp. " He drops the zipper.

"You alright?" He asks worried.

"I don't..." I look down at the floor. "I mean if I can't..." Finnick puts his finger under my chin so I will look up at him.

"Mrs Odair." He kisses my cheek. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Okay?" He says and kisses my cheek again.

I can feel my face getting hot. On the wedding night it's not supposed to be like this. You're supposed to have sex on your wedding night.

"But Finnick aren't we supposed to... I mean...consummate... Don't we half to."

"Annie we don't have to do anything. There isn't a law."

"It's unspoken. We're supposed to... to consummate the wedding or... marriage" I shake my head embarrassed. "To complete it... perfect... it or whatever." I say not meeting his eyes.

"Annie." He whispers. "Annie please look at me." He says and runs his fingers through my hair. I look at him and he smiles. "Annie we don't have to do the preconceived connotations that come along with tonight. I'm not going to do anything that will make you uncomfortable."

"Finnick." I whisper

"I don't even have to touch you." He says and backs away from me. "An arms length rule can be enforced right now." He teases.

"But I like hugging you." I whisper and open my arms for him to hug me.

"I like that too." He whispers and kisses my hairline.

I listen to his heartbeat and feel calmer.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too Mrs. Odair." He says and I get that giddy smile on my face again.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Yes?" He asks. He smooths my hair and kisses my forehead.

"We don't have to... you know. But that doesn't mean I can't kiss you." I kiss his chest. "Or touch you." I whisper and look up at him.

"I know." He whispers and kisses me.

"Okay." I say.

"Okay." He says and kisses me.

* * *

I'm lying next to Finnick and his thumb is tracing every prominent feature of my face.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too." I say.

"Mrs. Odair." He whispers and kisses my lips.

I smile.

"So did you like the wedding?" He asks.

I nod.

"I never realized how much I wanted it until now. Being married to you." I whisper and kiss him.

"Well as long as you realized it." He smiles. "I still can't believe I married the most beautiful girl." He says.

I smile.

"I still can't believe I'm married." I whisper.

"This husband he's handsome, no?" He teases.

"Ehh. He's alright." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"I love you." He says.

"I know. I wonder how many times we've said that tonight." I say.

"Not enough." He whispers.

I nod and then shiver.

"You're cold." He says and it's not a question. "You should get dressed. I'm sure you'll be warmer if you have... something on." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"Okay." I whisper.

I really don't want to get out of bed even though I am cold. I like being close to Finnick right now. I always like being close to him.

I get back in bed quickly and find the same spot I was lying in.

Finnick wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead.

"I never thought I would marry you." He whispers into my hair. "Even though I asked... I never thought. I never thought tonight would be possible."

I smile and trace his lips.

"Well it happened." I say. "I can't believe it either." I say.

"Maybe this is just a taste of what our future will be like." He whispers.

"Just you and me no one holding us back." I whisper.

"That's right." He says and runs his fingers through my hair. "No one holding us back." He repeats. "We'll live the rest of our life in a peaceful place."

"I can watch you turn into a prune." I say and laugh from the mental image.

"You as well, but I get the feeling when you're really old you're going to be the one always yelling 'what'd you say? Or Huh huh?'" He smiles.

"You think I will becoming hearing impaired?" I say

"Yup." He smiles.

"And why is that?" I say.

"Because then I could easily get away with more things."

I giggle.

"What?" He asks.

"You're silly." I whisper.

"You're silly too." He says and kisses me.

"We're silly." I say.

"That we are." He says.

I yawn. "Goodnight Finnick." I say.

"Goodnight Mrs. Odair." He says and kisses my forehead.

I'm never going to get tired of that.

**A/N: Hello all thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the wedding! I know it's a big Odesta moment so I hope I did it justice. Thanks for reading!**

**-Susan **


	196. Chapter 196

**Warning: Chapter contains mild sexual themes.**

**Chapter 196**

I pull Finnick's arm off my waist and head to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and smile.

I'm finally married to Finnick. I never realized how much I actually wanted it until we were both up there saying 'I do'.

Finnick and I didn't sleep together but, we didn't do nothing. I guess this is the phrase of taking the relationship slow. At least I trust him enough to do something.

I leave the room and sit on the stool.

I start to draw.

To both of our surprise Finnick and I got a week off if we wanted it or we could select certain things from our schedule. Finnick is going to do something because his solider evolution and testing is today. If he passes, people will stop addressing him as Mr. Odair and start addressing him as solider Odair.

I know I will have to wake him up soon.

"Finnick." I whisper and shake his shoulder slightly.

"Mhhh." He says and rolls over. I haven't had to wake him this whole time we have been here but, we have a mandatory alarm clock which has been turned off due to our 'vacation'.

"Finnick." I whisper again. I kiss his cheek. "Finnick." I say and his eyes flutter open.

"Mrs. Odair." He mumbles

I smile.

"You need to get up. You have your test or whatever." I say.

He sits up and stretches.

"Right. Thanks for waking me." He says and pulls me back down.

"No, no Finnick." I say knowing he won't leave if he is holding me. "Finnick if you don't do this you might not become a solider."

"Don't you want that?" He whispers and kisses my cheek.

"No." I say.

He pulls back so he can see my face.

"You're telling the truth." He says surprised.

"I know."

"But why?" He asks confused.

"You've trained so hard for this. I can't hold you back now. What kind of wife would do that?" I smile.

"Alright." He says and kisses me. "This doesn't change about battle though does it?"

"We can talk about that if and when it comes to it." I say and he nods. He gets dressed and ready, then I'm left alone.

I would go visit Johanna in the hospital, but I heard she got let out and I don't know where she lives now.

Instead I sit at the desk and draw. I draw the image I saw yesterday. Finnick and I getting married but instead I draw what Finnick explained; us getting married on the beach at sunrise. I draw people behind Finnick, it's supposed to be Pearl and Tiffany. Then I get to my side.

I tap my eraser on the desk and see tears drip onto the page.

I hear the door open and flinch. I see Finnick and he looks a bit pale.

"What's wrong? Did you fail, because that's okay Finnick." I say. He doesn't say anything he just hugs me instead.

"You're okay." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

"Of course I'm okay." I say and run my fingers through his hair. I kiss his forehead. "Finnick, what's wrong? What happened in your evaluation?"

He swallows hard.

"The final test is some type of simulator to show if you are qualified, no matter what happens. They show you something to make sure you are cut out to be a solider."

"What did they show you Finnick?" I whisper.

"It's not important." He says. You're okay now, and so am I." He says and I nod. It must have been something bad.

We just hold each other for awhile.

"Did you at least pass?" I say and he lets go of me.

"Of course." He smiles. "You should now address me as solider Odair." He smiles.

"I like Finnick better." I say and kiss him.

"Alright, I guess that will do." He says all dramatic.

I roll my eyes and smile.

Finnick peers over my shoulder.

"What were you drawing?" He asks and reaches for the paper.

"It's not finished." I say.

"That's okay." He says and looks at it.

"This is the wedding I described. Good job Cresta." He says and kisses my cheek.

I smile but it isn't genuine.

"What's wrong?" He asks worried. "Did you want to get married at home? I didn't realize how much." He says.

I shake my head.

"No." I say. "I mean, yes but that's not the point."

"What's wrong then?" He asks and cradles my face.

I touch the place behind me on the drawing.

He looks at me confused.

"Before I was taken to the Capitol or when I was taken, Demetrius had a gun. Pointed at me and my Mom. Before anything else could happen two other peacekeepers... they dragged me away but before I got on the hovercraft." I look Finnick dead in the eyes.

He kisses my forehead.

"Before I got on the hovercraft I heard a gun shot." I feel tears pool in my eyes. "Finnick I think she's dead." I whisper and start crying.

Finnick hugs me instantly.

He doesn't say anything he just strokes my hair.

"I think Lana is too." I whimper.

"Don't think like that Annie." He whispers.

"What realistically?" I say angrily .

He kisses my forehead.

"I thought you were dead when you were in the Capitol at first. I couldn't handle anything else. That's why I lived in the hospital on and off." He smooths my hair. "You can't think that Annie because you don't know. " He says gently.

I lean against him. I know he's right but I get this itching in the back of my mind that he's wrong. I haven't spoken about this to anyone since I've gotten here, mostly because I didn't want to think about it. I don't want to think about still.

"Say nice things." I whisper to make myself feel better and get this topic off my head.

He kisses my forehead.

"Mrs. Odair." He says and I smile. "Mrs. Odair." He says and kisses my cheek. "I love you so much." He brings my hand to his lips. "You're everything to me."

"I love you." I whisper. "Say more nice things." I whisper.

He brings my hand to his cheek.

"Your hair is so soft that I want to touch it all day. I love when you braid it because I get to see more of your beautiful face." He kisses my cheek. "I really like this crease you get in the middle of your eyebrows when you're angry." He marks where it is and then kisses the spot. "You're so nice. You can always say the right thing even when you think it's wrong. You're so nice even when you're angry." He kisses my cheek. "You always do the right thing. You're never truly mean. Mrs. Odair I think you're the best part of me and I'm not ashamed to admit it."

His lips touch mine.

"You're beautiful even when you're crying. You're so beautiful." He whispers. "I love you. I love you." He says again and kisses me.

"I love you too." I whisper. Those weren't exactly the nice things I was expecting but they did make me feel better. Extremely better.

I smile.

"I think it's my turn." I whisper.

"To say nice things?" He whispers confused.

I nod.

"I don't know how to start." I whisper. It's like the wedding vows all over again. He can say things so smoothly while I get tongue tied.

"You don't have to say anything Annie." He whispers.

"No, I do. It's just... I don't know where to start because there are so many things I love about you. " I swallow hard. "I love you. I love how dramatic you can be even though it is annoying at times." Finnick smiles. I love how you think your jokes are funny."

"They are funny." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself" I say and he kisses my cheek.

"I like your crooked teeth it shows that you're 'imperfect'." I say and he smiles flashing those teeth. "Love your eyes. They're so green, but I love those specks of gold in then." I run my fingers through his hair. "I love your hair too. It's curly and thick and it's nice." I kiss his cheek. "I really like how you always smell like the sea breeze." I smile and he smiles back. "It reminds me of home. I love you." I say and kiss his cheek.

"I love you too." He says too.

I want to kiss him, maybe more. He made me feel special.

Finnick kisses my forehead. Then the bridge of my nose. Then the tip of my nose. Then my lips.

I kiss him and Finnick kisses me back. I made Finnick feel special too.

We kiss for a long time.

Finnick picks me up from the chair all the while still kissing me. He places me gently on the bed and we continue to kiss.

I know why he is so good at this. I push the thought from my mind.

I stop kissing him.

"Finnick." I whimper a little out of breath.

"I'm sorry Annie got a little carried away." He says equally out of breath.

"It's okay." I whisper and kiss him again.

It's like last night kissing, caressing, and touching. I can feel the love in each touch.

"Finnick." I whimper out of breath.

"What's wrong?" He says equally out of breath.

I sit up and get off the bed.

"Annie?" Finnick says worried and reaches for my hand.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you two." He says still worried.

I come closer back to him and straddle his lap.

"Annie." Finnick says and runs his fingers through my hair. "Whatcha doing?" He asks with a smile.

"Sitting on your lap." I whisper.

"Why?" He asks seriously.

"Because I love you." I say and kiss his cheek.

"I love you too." He says and kisses me. "But are you sure you're ready for this?" He cups my cheek.

I take his hands off my cheeks.

I nod.

"I want to." I kiss his hands. "And I'll tell you to stop. It's just, I love you so much." I kiss him and lean my forehead against his. "I just love you." I whisper. I loved him last night too but I felt too nervous and felt like I would throw up. Maybe it was because I was 'supposed to'.

Finnick smiles.

"I love you too." He says and kisses my shoulder then collar bone.

"Finnick." I whimper as his hands continue to touch me. I lean my head against his shoulder. I lift up my head and cup his face. I kiss his forehead.

"Not yet." I whisper and run my fingers through his hair.

"Okay." He says.

I nod.

"Are you okay?" He whispers and kisses my forehead. This question has more than one meaning but the answer is the same.

I nod.

"Yes." I whisper and my lips briefly touch his.

Despite this I feel as nervous as when we first had sex. I know he isn't going to hurt me just like the first time but it's just unexplainable nervousness.

"Okay." He says and pushes hair from my face.

He kisses me softly.

"Finnick." I say in a strange tone. He grasps my hips because I loose my balance slightly.

"Are you okay?" He asks worried.

I nod.

I forgot what this felt like. The last memory I had of someone touching me, kissing me, penetrating me, was in the Capitol by those monsters but this is different. I can feel the love in the gentle kisses and touches. I know he isn't going to hurt me.

I lean my face against Finnick's cheek.

I nod but, a tear rolls down my cheek.

"Then why are you crying?" Finnick asks alarmed.

"Because I love you so much." I whimper and he smiles.

"I love you so much too." He says and kisses me. He cups my face. "And you're so beautiful." He says and kisses me.

I wrap my arms around Finnick's neck and run my hands in his hair. Finnick's hands run up and down my bare back.

I lean my forehead against his and smile.

"Just hold me." I whisper.

He does we hold each other and kiss. It makes me feel more comfortable. The kissing and playful touching, but I can tell after a minute or two nature is starting to take over when I feel Finnick's hips move slightly.

"Finnick." I whisper.

He moves hair from my shoulder then kisses it.

"Don't worry Annie, you're in control." He whispers probably sensing what I am going to say.

"Okay." I whisper.

I suddenly feel more vulnerable but it doesn't overcome me because ofthe look in his eyes, love and desire. He has that look that makes me feel important. I can tell he trusts me and I trust him.

We start moving together slowly. Possibly at a terribly slow pace but Finnick said I was in control and fast pace for me right now isn't ideal. In fact I might start crying or run away. Or both and that would be a terrible thing to happen since I am counting this as our first time again. However, it can't really be because I know what to do. I know what I like and I know what Finnick likes. That wasn't how it was at first. It was a mess of awkwardness, I think on both parts. At least Finnick was good at what he was doing while I was all over the place.

"Are you okay?" Finnick asks probably from my expression of the memory of some of the awkwardness. I don't think this time is, even though Finnick is asking me if I am okay. I don't think it is hurting anything. Finnick is worried about me and that makes me feel better.

"Yeah, I was just thinking of something." I whisper.

Finnick puts his hands on my shoulders so I will stop moving.

"About what?" He asks concerned.

"Me and you." I look up at the ceiling.

"What about me and you?" He asks and kisses the spot between my breasts. The place where my ribs protect my heart.

I look back down so I can look him in the eyes.

"The first time we did this." I whisper. Finnick smiles and kisses the tip of my nose.

He runs his fingers through my hair. He doesn't have to ask why. He knows I will tell him.

"It's just... this feels... just as special." I say and kiss him.

Desire is starting to ignite and we start to become lost in a sea of trust, lust, and love. It is a powerful combination that sends waves of passion crashing over us.

I almost forgot what this felt like. How nice it could feel to connect and share something special with someone.

"Finnick." I whimper. My breathing is ragged and my head is spinning. I push Finnick closer to me.

I sigh loudly. A long breathy sigh.

A few moments later Finnick's body relaxes and his lips brush against my forehead.

We hold onto one another. We don't talk until our breathing is back to normal.

"Are you okay?" Finnick whispers.

I nod.

"Yeah." I kiss his hand. "I'm okay." I look up at him and smile. He smiles back.

"Good." He says and kisses the top of my head which is sweaty.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too Annie." He says.

"Finnick." I whisper after awhile.

"Yes?" He says and kisses my cheek.

"I think it's dinner time." I whisper and look towards the clock and see I am correct.

"Okay." He says but doesn't move.

"That means we have to leave." I whisper although I don't want to.

"I don't want to let go of you." He whispers. "I don't want this moment to end."

"It won't." I say and he looks at me strangely. "There will be more moments like this for the rest of our lives. After all we are married." I say and kiss his cheek.

"We are married." He smiles.

We get dressed and then walk hand and hand to the cafeteria.

I don't want to let go of his hand and I don't think he wants to let go of mine either.

Finnick and I sit down at our assigned table. I notice there are less people here than usual.

"We're late." I whisper.

"Only thirty minutes." He smiles.

I hear footsteps and look up.

"Do you care if I..." Katniss motions towards the table.

"We would be offended if you didn't." Finnick says and Katniss looks at him strangely. Then again it isn't that odd. The Finnick she is accustomed to is one that ties knots and cries all the time. Not the idiot I know.

"Thanks." She says and sits down.

"Katniss I never did properly thank you for that dress." I say and she smiles.

"Don't worry about it." She says.

"I'll give it back to you soon." I say.

"You should keep it Annie. It looked better on you... and it will hold memories when you look at it." She smiles.

"Thank you." I say.

"I heard you and Johanna are now roommates." Finnick smiles.

"You heard right. That's the only way they would let her out of the hospital. I offered... she's all alone." Katniss says sadly.

"That's true." Finnick says sadly. "I wouldn't leave any important breakables around her. She tends to smash things easily." Finnick smiles.

"Finnick." I say that is true, but right now it really isn't funny.

"I don't think it's offensive, Annie you've seen it first hand." He says.

"No it's alright Annie, she did a pretty nice job on a pillow." Katniss smiles.

"Oh. I see."

"I never did officially say congratulations on the wedding." She says.

"That's alright." Finnick says.

Katniss swallows hard.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Annie, you remember on the hovercraft how you said Peeta's not... dead." She whispers.

I nod.

"Well something happened the other night that made me see that he is still alive."

"That's great Katniss." I smile.

"But he still thinks I'm a crazy killer." She whispers.

"You said you saw a flash of the old Peeta, right?" I say and she nods. "Maybe he's getting a little better... a little." I say. I don't want to get her hopes up.

"Maybe." She says.

I nod.

Finnick looks at us strangely.

I lean in and kiss his cheek.

"I'll tell you later." I whisper.

Katniss smiles at us.

"I know it doesn't compare to what Peeta thinks of you, but Annie hated me for a long time." Finnick says.

"You're so stupid." I whisper.

Katniss smiles.

"That's nice and to piggyback on what Annie said I can agree, you're so stupid." She smiles.

"That's only okay when my wife says it." Finnick teases. "My wife." He smiles. "It's so new but, it sounds foreign and yet it feels right." Finnick says and I roll my eyes.

We all eat and make casual conversation. I wonder what Peeta did or said to give her hope that the old Peeta is still there.

She leaves and Finnick and I do shortly after.

Finnick and I walk hand and hand back to our compartment.

"What was that Peeta being dead thing?" Finnick asks.

"Katniss thought the old Peeta was dead but I'm assuming since he did something that he did before she now thinks that Peeta is alive." I say and he nods.

We open the door and Finnick looks sad.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Ever since you came back... I sometimes wonder what it would be like if that happened to you as well." He says.

I run my fingers through his hair.

"It didn't." I say and kiss him.

He nods.

"If I did come back, you would still love me right?" I whisper.

"I would." He kisses me. "I would love you no matter what. No matter what you tried to do to me, I would love you. I would also spend every minute of every day trying to get you to see that I wouldn't hurt you. That I love you too." He says.

I smile.

"I would too." I whisper and then kiss him. I lean against his chest. "I love you and I treasure that fact every day." I whisper.

"I love you too." Finnick whispers. "I love you so much." He says and kisses my cheek.

"I love you so much too." I say.

Thinking about what happened to Peeta and Katniss makes me feel a tad lucky, because I don't know what would happen if I was programmed to kill Finnick. To view him as a mutt.

I push him closer to me.

"I love you." I whisper once more.

"I love you too." He says and I can tell he is thinking the same thing.


	197. Chapter 197

**Chapter 197**

The week off Finnick and I have been given has been great but, it is concerning me that when he leaves for solider training he is away longer and longer each day.

The door opens and Finnick kisses me.

"Hi." He says with a smile.

"Hi." I say.

Finnick looks at me strangely.

"Is something wrong?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"I'm just thinking something crazy." I say.

"What would that be?" He smiles.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out.

"That you're not telling me something." I whisper.

He smiles.

"What makes you say that?" He asks and moves hair from my face.

I shrug.

"I don't know, but it seems like when you leave for solider stuff you're gone longer each day." I say.

"That's because I am a solider now." He says gently.

"I know... I just... you can't lie to me anymore." I say firmly. "Especially about something important."

He kisses my forehead.

"We are just discussing how exactly to infiltrate the Capitol. The plans are really coming together too." He says and places hair behind my ear.

I look at Finnick and he has that look on his face. The look where I feel like he is lying.

"Then why do you have 'I don't want to tell you something face'." I say worried.

He smiles.

"There's nothing." He says.

"Finnick." I say annoyed.

"Annie, right now there's nothing to be worrying about. Okay?" He says and kisses my cheek.

"But-"

"Annie, relax." He says and forces me to look him in the eyes. "Nothing is wrong right now. Okay?"

"Okay." I say still skeptical

"Besides, this is still our honeymoon. We have two more days of having an easy life."

I smile.

"That sounds wonderful." I smile and Finnick kisses my cheek.

"Do you want to do anything? Something we usually can't because of our schedule?." He asks.

"Let's just go for a walk." I whisper.

He takes my hand and we walk down the corridors of District 13.

"Finnick." I say.

"Yes?" He asks.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too."

"Good." I say.

We walk around for an hour before we make it back to our room.

"So anything else you want to do that we normally can't." He asks.

I shrug.

"Not really." I whisper. "You?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"I really just like being around you so much." He says.

I go over and kiss him.

"I like that too." I say. "I wish I could be with you all the time." He smiles. "I don't think they'd miss me much at kitchen help." I whisper thinking I could forgo my schedule.

"That's probably true but-"

"I know people will miss you Solider Odair." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"Probably." He says and kisses me. "But I still wish I could spend every minute with you Mrs. Odair." He whispers.

"Me too." I say and kiss him. I notice my sketchbook on the desk. "I should draw you, that way you'll always be with me." I tease.

He smiles.

"Okay, but you still can't always be with me."

"I'm not good at self portraits or portraits." I say.

"You're selling yourself short." Finnick says.

"I am not." I smile and grab my sketchbook.

"Are so." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"Just make a pretty face so I can draw you." I tease and he smiles that goofy one, that is very adorable. It makes my heart melt. "Hopefully your face can stay like that for a few hours." I say.

"I would do anything for you Mrs. Odair." He smiles and so do I.

* * *

Finnick and I go to sleep early tonight. I don't think we are tired. I just want him to hold me close

"You're my wife." Finnick says and strokes my hair.

"And you're my husband." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

"Yes. I am." He smiles and kisses the top of my head.

"We're old." I whisper.

Finnick snickers. I look up at him slightly offended.

"Annie you're only twenty-two and I'm only twenty-four. We aren't that old."

"I feel old." I look up and smile.

"You're not." He kisses my cheek. "Being married doesn't mean you're old."

"Fine, it makes me feel adult." I say and he smiles.

"I guess. It is just a word. I mean 'married'."

"Yet, it changes so much." I whisper.

Finnick kisses the top of my head.

"Do you feel like an adult?" I ask and look up at him.

"Do I act like one?" He says and I roll my eyes.

"I don't think I will ever feel adult." I whisper.

"Really though, there's no defining moment." He says.

"Maybe when I get gray hairs." I say and he smiles.

"Well then, I will alert you when that day happens." He smiles.

"Gee thanks." I mutter.

He kisses my cheek and smiles.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm just really happy right now. Even though a war is going on... I've never been this happy before." He kisses the top of my head. "It's strange, isn't it?"

I shake my head.

"No. Because I'm feeling that too. I've never been this happy before. I don't know if it's the newlywed phase or something but... I'm just happy." I say.

"I never want to stop smiling." He says.

"Me too." I say back.

"I love you." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

"I love you too." I whisper.

* * *

"It's lunch time you ready Annie?" Finnick asks. Today is our last free schedule day. I want to make the most of it.

I nod.

"Ready." I say and hold out my hand.

He pulls me up and we walk down the halls to the cafeteria.

"Annie!" I hear as we are about to migrate to our usual table.

"Let's go." I say and look at Finnick. "If that's alright." I add.

"Of course." He says.

We sit down.

"This is Delly." I tell Finnick. I've talked about her a little since that day I helped Peeta with his therapy.

"Hi Delly." Finnick says.

"Hello Finnick." She says and we start to eat.

"It's good today." I say not to anyone in particular but the meal is good today.

Delly nods.

"Did you have food like this is 4 or was it just fish?" She asks.

"The majority of our diet is fish but, we have other stuff. Beef though, is not one of them." I say.

I look over to some soldiers who have interesting hat like helmets on.

"You got a hat like that?" I ask Finnick. Delly and him both turn.

"No. But speaking of hats Delly did you know once a sea turtle stole one of my favorites."

Oh god. I think to myself.

I know what story he is going to tell her. The keyword being story. I've heard this story before many times. He would tell it to Marci all the time. Mostly because she liked it. I'm almost a hundred percent sure that it isn't true. Mostly because the way Finnick tells it. He does it all over the top and dramatic... then again Finnick can be all over the top and dramatic. Still I doubt it's real.

"The turtle came right out of the ocean as I was sitting on the beach-" Finnick starts.

"Annie." Katniss says and motions towards the table. I notice Gale is with her as well.

"Sit." I say with a smile. Johanna comes a few minutes later. She doesn't ask, she just sits right down next to Finnick.

"I was running after it because that was my favorite one. I suspected turtles to be slow because of their size but that thing knew how to move." Finnick says.

Johanna looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I'm sure she has heard this story before. Her look is almost asking if this is real.

I don't do anything else I just listen to his 'story'.

"Then it was pretty bad because it was my favorite one and it was also fedora." He finishes and looks as it like he is waiting for applause.

"You know fedora." He says.

"Oh god." I whisper knowing this is one of his terrible puns.

"It sounds like for Dora but fedora is also a kind of hat." He explains.

I want to die from embarrassment but I see Katniss smiling and does a laugh like chortle. Looks like someone likes his puns, either that or something funny has been so strange in this place that even a dumb Finnick joke can do the trick.

Katniss' facial expression soon changes and I can feel someone behind me.

"Peeta! It's so nice to see you out an about." Delly says with a smile.

I turn and see Peeta he looks tired. I also notice he still has handcuffs on him and escorts. Two large guards who once again look military. I'm assuming they are.

"What's with the fancy bracelets?" Johanna asks.

"I'm not quite trustworthy yet, I can't even sit here without your permission." He says annoyed and motions towards the guards.

"Sure he can sit here. We're old friends. Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams.

Looks like I was right, they did share cells.

I can't imagine what that would be like. I wonder if I had an adjoining cell with one of them, if they could've stopped those monsters.

I close my eyes and push myself closer towards Finnick.

"You're okay." I hear him whisper as he wraps his arm around me.

When I open my eyes I see people avoiding my gaze and people pretending to eat their food.

I want to run out of here or cry by this. I'm debating the latter when I hear Delly's voice.

"Annie, did you know it was Peeta who decorated your wedding cake? Back home, his family ran the bakery and he did all the frosting." She smiles.

I figured he did made the cake since that day but, I wasn't sure. I also didn't know his family ran the bakery in 12. I just assumed he liked to bake.

I look in his direction wanting to avoid Johanna's smug gaze that I know she will have. I don't think she did it on purpose... this time.

"Thank you, Peeta. It was beautiful." I say and Peeta smiles back.

"My pleasure Annie." He says in a gentle kind voice like that day we were drawing. He seemed like a nice person until Finnick came into the room which triggered something.

Finnick nods in approval or thanks towards him. I'm not sure which but, I know it is a thank you.

"If we're going to fit in that walk, we better go." Finnick says. We have been going on more walks during our week off. I think Finnick does it mostly to get out of the room. I don't mind. We would go on walks on the beach all the time.

He rearranges the trays so he can carry them while holding my hand which he hasn't let go of this whole time.

"Good seeing you Peeta." Finnick says kindly.

"You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you." Peeta says harshly.

It looks like no one has a good response to that.

I can feel Finnick's body stiffen at these words. I know what he is thinking. He's not thinking that Peeta will take me away to be lovers. He's thinking Peeta will take me away because he wants to do something terrible to me.

I tug on Finnick's hand so he will get the hint of walking away. I know Finnick wants to say something that will make everything worse.

Finnick does that scoff like smile.

"Oh Peeta." He says lightly. "Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart." Finnick says just as harsh as Peeta did and starts to lead me away.

Finnick drops off the trays as we leave the cafeteria.

He doesn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Finnick, he didn't mean it." I say finally. "He can't help it." I add.

Finnick sighs.

"I know but..."

"You're so protective of me." I say trying to lighten the mood.

"I know it's just... I'm concerned."

"He isn't going to hurt me he and he is locked up so he wouldn't be able to get to me." I say.

"No not that. I'm worried about Katniss." He says.

"Why?" I ask confused.

"I just get this feeling she will do something stupid."

I scoff.

"What?" He asks.

"Finnick, you do stupid stuff all the time."

"Au contraire Mrs. Odair" I roll my eyes. "You do stupid things as well."

"I know." I say. "At lunch there was one good thing."

"What? The food. I know it was somehow really good today. Maybe it was comfort food or something."

"That's not what I was talking about."

"Then what was?" He asks.

"That someone laughed at your silly pun."

"Hey that was very punny." He says. I roll my eyes.

"Finnick, you do realize something isn't funny if you have to explain it." I say.

"Not necessarily." He says and kisses me cheek.

I raise my eyebrows.

"I mean Annie, you take my bread away because you are my butter half, which is why I loaf you." I roll my eyes but I can also feel a smile start to form. "And all the words I know cannot espresso how much you mean to me, but that is just because I love you a latte." I smile. "I know you don't always get my puns but olive you from my head to my tomatoes. Everyone around us can see so that must mean we are a perfect pear. I-"

"How many of these do you have?" I ask with a smile.

"I was going to go until you stopped me." He says.

"I see." I say.

"I'm glad you did because I was running out of ammo there."

"I see." I say and kiss his cheek. "But, why were they all food puns?"

"Because those are the easiest and the funniest. They also go together well. I mean did you hear what I did with bread? That was pure gold." He says.

"It was nice. I liked it and I will admit it was pretty-"

"Funny." He says proud.

"I was going to say entertaining but, funny works too." I say and he smiles.

"Good." He says and kisses me.

"I guess it really doesn't matter because I loaf you." I say.

"Reaching." Finnick says shaking his head.

"Fine then what is a good one?" I say.

"I love you berry much." He says.

"Mine was totally better, plus it tied in with the bread theme."

"That was my bread theme." He teases.

"Well fine I love you berry much." I say.

"I love you berry much too." He says and I giggle.

"You're such a dork."

"So I've been told." He says and we kiss.


	198. Chapter 198

**A/N: I think for this chapter and possibly the next I will do a few blurbs in Finnick's POV.**

**Chapter 198**

**Finnick POV**

I look at her sleeping peacefully next to me. She has drool on her chin and her nose is twitching

At least I know she is sleeping peacefully.

Annie is sleeping particularly close to me tonight. She is cuddling me like I am her teddy bear. She is resting peacefully on my chest. On the space right above my heart.

I kiss the top of her head.

"Mrs. Odair." I whisper. I want to shout that everyday to everyone that this beautiful person is in fact my wife. I would call Annie Mrs. Odair all day but I know she wouldn't like that.

I kiss the top of her head and hear her moan slightly.

I sigh.

I should've realized Annie would notice I was gone much longer than usual. Katniss has started training and the plans and teams to infiltrate the Capitol are becoming more clear. It's not going to be that long before they decide what to do.

I know I want to leave, be part of the plan to take Snow down personally, but I also don't want to leave Annie.

I turn to look at her again.

After hearing what happened to her in the Capitol, I never wanted to leave her side again. Being used by some stranger is disgusting. I can tell they hurt her.

_They_

To think more than one person sexually assaulted her makes my blood boil.

I wrap my other arm around her and kiss her forehead.

I know if I leave again no one is going to assault her

She got severely hurt and not just mentally. She did get an STD but that's not all. They hurt her, I have to be so gentle now. That doesn't bother me, okay the part of why that is does.I know why that is and it's not just because she's having a flashback. It's because they were too rough with her. I had clients who liked rape fantasies. I never understood would always want it rough and I was always concerned that I was hurting them but, that's what they wanted. They wanted to get hurt and they wanted to see blood.

I get the feeling those people who hurt her were just as rough as I was forced to be, which isn't a good thing.

"Annie." I whisper.

I end up squeezing her and rest my cheek on her head.

She bolts awake frightened.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"Nothing." I reply.

"You're holding on pretty tight." She mumbles and is already falling back to sleep.

"I just love you so much." I whisper.

"I love you too." She says in a sleep daze.

I kiss the top of her head and let her sleep.

**Annie POV**

"Annie." I hear Finnick whisper as the door opens. "Annie you're supposed to be doing kitchen help." He says gently. He sits next to me on the bed and strokes my hair.

"That's not for a few hours." I whisper tired. I don't know why I feel so tired. I didn't have any nightmares last night. I haven't had many since we got married.

"Annie you were supposed to be there a few hours ago." He says concerned.

"No." I confused. I turn towards the clock and see he is right.

I sit up but then lie back down because I become overcome by dizziness.

"Do you feel sick?" He asks and runs his fingers through my hair.

I did get sick a few times last night but, the strange thing was once I threw up I felt fine.

"I don't know." I whisper but I roll over and get sick in our trash can.

Finnick rubs my back.

"It's okay." He whispers. "I'll let them know. Try and go back to sleep Annie." He says and takes the blanket and puts it over me.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says and kisses my forehead.

I would ask him to stay but I know he can't.

I feel fine in a few hours

I hear the door open and see Finnick.

"How do you feel?" Finnick asks.

"Fine, maybe it was just because I was tired." I say and he sits down.

"You don't get sick from being tired." He says worried.

"Maybe I ate something bad." I say.

"Then why am I not sick?" He asks and runs his fingers through my hair.

"Because we don't have the same bodies." I say and he kisses my cheek.

I look at him and he has a strange look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"They asked me to go to the Capitol to shoot a propo." He says casually but, is avoiding my gaze slightly.

"How thick do you think I am?" I say angry.

He breathes in and out deeply.

"I know I just..." He trails off. "I don't want to loose you Annie but… I don't want to do nothing either." He takes a long breath. Here it comes, the Finnick argument. He always does this before he is about to give me a big speech.

He starts talking and is making big hand motions. He is enthused about this. He is trying to convince me which he knows he does poorly at.

The look on his face though.

I kiss his cheek so he will stop.

"Annie just let me finish." He says.

"No-"

"Annie-"

"There's nothing more to say." I kiss his cheek again.

"Okay." Finnick says and I can hear disappointment in his voice.

"What time do you leave?" I ask.

"What?" He asks confused.

"What time do you leave? An hour? A day?"

"Annie, you don't have to-"

"I'm not doing anything."

He cocks his head confused.

"You see Finnick, I know you want this. I want this too but there's that whole dying thing we both know might come along with this."

"Annie-"

"There's one philosophy in the world that will never change. Would you like to hear what that is?" I ask.

"Yes?" Finnick says confused.

"Nothing in this world that is worth having comes easy. So you should go. Besides, what wife would I be if I didn't let you."

Finnick kisses me.

"When I get back which I will, this war should be over because we've won." Finnick smiles and I kiss him.

"War isn't just about winning though Finnick." He looks at me confused. "War isn't about whether you think you can win. It's about willing to die for something you believe is worth dying for." I look him in the eyes. "And I know you're more than willing." I whisper.

"Annie-"

"Just promise me you'll come back." I say and kiss his cheek.

"You have my word. I will. Besides who else is going to annoy as much as me?"

I roll my eyes and kiss him.

"Really though, what time do to leave?" I ask again.

"Couple days." He says and runs his fingers through my hair. "Some people are still in training Katniss and Johanna..." He trails off and I nod. "However, I don't want to go anywhere if you're sick Annie." He whispers.

"I'm not sick Finnick." I say but as he gets closer I feel like gagging.

"Finnick you smell." I mutter and gently push him away.

"Uhhh thanks?" He says confused.

"What have you been doing?" I mutter.

"Nothing... I didn't even do anything physical today for solider time. Annie maybe you should see a doctor." He says.

"I'm fine Finnick." I mutter and roll over.

"Annie just do it for me please. If I leave I want to make sure you're in the best care possible." He says and kisses me.

I breathe in and out deeply.

"I don't like hospitals." I whisper.

"I know but, I'll be with you. If we go now it won't be so bad." He says and smooths my hair.

"Fine." I whisper and he holds my hand as we walk to the hospital.

They run all these tests and take a lot of blood. They say they don't see anything wrong but something might be.

"Alright the tests will be in sometime next week." The doctor says and walks away.

I sigh.

"Finnick, I'm fine see." I say as we walk back.

"I'll feel better when those tests come back." He says.

"Finnick I feel better already." I say and we start to head to the cafeteria.

"Okay." He says.

I squeeze his hand and he looks down at me.

"I love you." I say and he smiles.

"I love you too. Which is why I'm so worried. I mean that's why you're my wife." He says

I smile.

"I know." I say and I do know, maybe I'm just sick because I don't really want him to leave. I'm not going to tell him this because that will be terrible besides, I'm not going to be the one to hold him back.

**Finnick POV**

I hear Annie dry heave into the toilet again.

I sigh.

I know she is trying to hide it the best she can because she wants me to leave and go fight but, she also knows I won't leave if she is sick.

I hear the toilet flush and see Annie come out.

She smiles.

"You okay?" I ask nervous.

"I was just brushing my teeth." She says and smiles.

I sigh.

"Finnick I'm fine." She says.

"I know." I say.

She nods.

"Besides, those tests are coming back today and they are going to say I'm fine." She says confidently.

"Okay but if they say anything else, I'm not going." I say.

"Fine." She says and kisses me.

**Annie POV**

"Well Mrs. Odair it seems that you are perfectly fine." The doctor smiles and let's us leave.

"See Finnick, perfectly fine." I say.

He nods.

"I'm sorry I was so overprotective. I just worry about you Annie. Especially since I will be leaving for war."

"I know." I lean in and kiss him. "Which is why I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says.

I know this. I do and I'll never forget it. No matter what happens.


	199. Chapter 199

**Chapter 199**

I look at myself in the mirror and brush my hair.

_One. Two. Three. Four. Five_.

I count all the way up to a hundred until I finally put the brush down.

I feel Finnick's fingers take the brush from my hand.

"You look beautiful." Finnick whispers.

"Thanks." I say with my throat getting tight.

Finnick takes my hand and leads us to our main room.

"What's wrong Annie?" He whispers.

"Nothing." I clear my throat. "It's just... you're going to be leaving-"

"Tomorrow." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Tomorrow." I say back.

"I can still back out." He says.

"No it's just..." He raises his eyebrows. "I better make it count then." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

He leans in.

"Is that an invitation Mrs. Odair?" He smiles.

I nod and kiss him.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He whispers back and kisses me.

* * *

Finnick and I spent the rest of the day in our compartment. Mostly in bed.

"Mrs. Odair." Finnick says.

"Yes?" I smile.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks and kisses my shoulder.

"You." I whisper.

"Annie, it's not like I'm going in an arena. Not only one person will come back." He says and kisses my forehead. "Even if it only was one person I would come back. For you. For us." He says and I smile.

"You better come back. I like saying I'm married to an idiot." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"I take it as a complement." He says.

"Of course you would." I say and kiss him lightly.

He smiles.

"I love you. And I'll never stop. Not even when you're dead." I whisper and he smiles.

"I feel the same but, you and me aren't going to be dying anytime soon. This is what is going to happen. I'm going to leave with my squad and we are gonna kick some ass." I roll my eyes. "Then I'll come back and we can go home, back to District Four."

"Home." I smile.

"Yeah huh. It will be great." Finnick says.

"Home." I say and turn on my back to look at the ceiling.

"Yup." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

"And you'll be with me?" I say and lace my fingers with his.

"You're never getting rid of me. Remember what I said?" He says and I turn towards him confused.

"What?" I ask.

"You get to go first." He says.

"I love you." I say and feel a tear leak from my eye and fall into my ear.

"I love you too." He says. "Please don't cry." He whispers.

"I'm not crying." I say and turn away from him.

"I know you're lying." He says and I can tell he is smiling.

"I know." I whisper and roll back over. I smile and he kisses me.

"I can still-"

"Stop." I say and continue to kiss him.

* * *

I tap my feet against each other as I wait for Finnick to come and see me before he leaves.

Before he leaves. I think.

I still have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I head to the toilet and drive heave into the bowl.

Finnick is leaving today. I just didn't think I would feel this sick. I wonder if something is wrong with me, but the doctor said I was okay.

I hear our door open.

"Annie?" I hear Finnick say confused. Maybe he doesn't think I'm here.

I dry heave into the toilet again.

I hear him knock on the bathroom door.

"Annie?" He asks gently.

"I'm fine." I say and gag again.

"Annie are you sick?" He asks.

"No, I'm just-" I start and he opens the door.

He kneels down next to me.

"Are you sick?" He asks again.

I shake my head and he helps me up.

"No." I say. "I'm fine."

"Why are you on the floor then?" He asks and smooths my hair.

"I felt like gagging." I whisper.

"Annie." He says gently.

"No, I think you should go." I say knowing what he is thinking.

"Annie before both of the arenas you couldn't stop gagging before you got on the hovercraft." He says.

"That's just because I was nervous." I say.

"That someone was gonna die." He says voicing my thoughts.

"You're not gonna die." I say and look him up and down. He's wearing a uniform. "You leaving soon then?" I ask.

He nods.

"Within an hour." He pushes hair behind my ear.

I nod.

"I can still back out." He says and meets my gaze.

"Don't you dare." I say and he nods. I smile.

"What?" He asks.

"You look good in your uniform." I say and he smiles.

"How good?" He asks.

I smile.

"You know how good." I say and kiss him.

I press my forehead against his cheek.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says and kisses the top of my head.

I lean against him and hold him until he says he needs to go.

"See you later Mrs. Odair."

"Bye Finnick." I whisper and kiss him.

"Remember when I come back we're going home." He says and kisses me again.

"Home." I say and kiss him again.

"Home." He says and kisses me.

I wrap my arms around him and lean against his chest. The armor is cool against my cheek which makes me feel better. That means it is protecting him.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Think of me when you're out there." I say.

"I wouldn't dream of anything else." He says and kisses me again. "I'll see you later Mrs. Odair."

"See you later Finnick." I say. "I love you."

"Love you too." He says and leaves the room and I'm left alone.

_Alone_.

"He's going to come back so we can go home." I whisper and fall back on the bed. "He's going to come back." I whisper.


	200. Chapter 200

**Chapter 200**

I hear a knock on my door. Finnick has only been gone for a few hours but I miss him terribly and am very worried. But I know he is going to come back so it doesn't matter.

I open the door and see someone official. I wonder what they want. I suddenly feel very worried when I see the hospital seal on their uniform.

"Mrs. Odair, you are wanted at the hospital." He says.

"But why?" I ask nervous.

I don't get an answer but I follow him blindly. I'm sure this is better than fighting him.

We get to the hospital and he takes me to the same doctor as I saw before. He is looking at me like an insect.

Before he says anything I notice something or rather someone.

"Johanna?" I ask surprised and walk quickly towards her.

She turns towards me and grunts.

"Yes?" She says clearly annoyed.

"I thought you would be leaving with Finnick and Katinss..." I say confused. Finnick told me she was in training, does this mean she didn't pass her qualifications.

"Well I didn't pass the test, I couldn't get over my fear." She looks at me surprised. "You really let him go?" She asks and I nod.

"Well I give you points Annie. I never thought you would've done that."

I roll my eyes.

"Thanks." I say sarcastically.

"No problem." She smiles.

It's silent.

"So is that the final test, getting over your fear?" I ask.

"It's different for everyone apparently."

I nod. I just now realize I didn't ask Finnick about solider training, probably because I thought it was all physical.

"What were you afraid of?" I ask.

"Drowning and shit. When I was in the Capitol they tortured me with water. They favored water boarding."

I swallow hard.

"So they made you feel like you were drowning." I whisper.

"I know what it is." She looks me up and down. "What did they do to you anyways?" She asks.

"You believe they really did things to me?" I ask surprised.

"Peeta made your case clear when we were there. Besides, you have a new scar." She says and touches her neck. I don't think it is a scar but if you get close enough you can tell I was strangled. I'm surprised no one else has commented on this... not even Finnick.

"Well, they used me as a test subject with drugs and stuff." I say.

She nods.

"Even though you didn't know anything?" She says.

"They said they couldn't kill me. Although, I think they broke some unspoken rule." I say.

"Why would you think that?" She asks intrigued.

"When I was there. There were these men. They thought I was pretty... they touched me... they raped me." I say.

"Mmh interesting." She mutters. Probably to herself. "I'm sorry." She says to me.

"Why? It's not your fault." I say confused.

"Well I was sold a few times it isn't exactly fun." She smirks.

I nod.

"So after we win, what do you think she is going to do to Katniss, if Katniss comes back at all?" Johanna smiles.

"Why wouldn't Katniss come back?" I ask.

"Because Coin added Peeta to her squad last minute... and he still tries to you know kill her and stuff."

"You think she did it on purpose? To get Katniss out of the way?" I ask surprised.

"Listen if you were mad power hungry and wanted to rule the country, wouldn't you get rid of every possible 'threat'?" She says.

"A seventeen year old girl isn't a big threat." I mumble.

"Annie she's the figure head for the whole rebellion. People follow her for a reason."

"Katniss doesn't like it." I say.

"True and she wouldn't want to rule a country. I doubt she would even get offered the role, but Coin still thinks Katniss is in the way." Johanna says.

"So you think she is killing her to get rid of her?" I ask and Johanna nods. "But that's just like-"

"Snow." She smiles and I nod. "They have more in common then she would like."

"Finnick said she wanted to eliminate all Capitol citizens to create a utopia or something."

Johanna nods.

"She would be killing innocent people then."

"Finnick said Snow was more analytical. He didn't just randomly go and kill people but Coin," I pause. "he says she's different and he didn't mean in a good way." I whisper. I get the feeling we shouldn't be talking negatively about the leader here.

Johanna nods.

"Finnick's smart." Is all she says and we sit here for awhile.

"What if he dies?" She whispers.

"Then he dies." I say. My throat gets tight and I feel like vomiting again.

Johanna smirks.

"You'll be singing a different tune if he doesn't come back."

I cross my arms and sigh.

"Dying is what makes life so great because you know one day it will end." I say.

"Live your life to the fullest bullshit. Really Annie?" She says surprised.

"He's going to come back. He said he would, so we could go home." I say

She smiles and shakes her head. She opens her mouth to say something but gets cut off.

"Mrs. Odair." A doctor says and touches my shoulder.

Johanna and I both turn towards him.

"What?" I ask gently. I really do want to get away from Johanna because this topic is staring to go in a way I'm not comfortable with. She shouldn't say Finnick isn't going to come back because he promised he would. He promised.

"One of your tests were read incorrectly." He looks towards Johanna. "Maybe we should talk in private." He says and I nod. We head to a room. "As I was saying Mrs. Odair one of the early tests we preformed has been misread." He says.

"So how sick am I?" I ask worried.

"You're not sick, but this outcome explains your discomforts." He says.

"Well what's wrong with me then?" I ask freighted.

"Nothing is wrong with you Annie. You're just pregnant." He says with a smile.

It suddenly feels like a tidal wave is crashing over me. I can't breathe or even think.

All I can focus on is how he told me I was **_just_ **pregnant like it is no big deal but it's a big deal. A very big deal.

**A/N: I can't believe I have written 200 chapters! Thank you everyone to reading this far! **

**There's also a poll on my profile that I would love if you voted! **

**-Susan**


	201. Chapter 201

**Chapter 201**

"I need water." I say and he hands me some instantly.

"Now Annie there are-"

"Can you tell where I was?" I ask.

"I'm sorry?" He says confused.

"Like if I was here in 13 or the Capitol..." I trail off those monsters already gave me an STD. I can handle that but this... I can't. I couldn't raise a child from a situation like this… I would just see the monster.

"Oh yes, we can estimate the conception date from how far along you are."

I breathe in and out heavily.

"If I wasn't here in 13..."

The doctor raises his eyebrows.

"I was raped in the Capitol." I whisper. "By more than one person. "I can't... I can't" I close my eyes and breathe in and out. "I need to make sure it's my husbands."

"I'm sure it is Annie." He says.

I swallow hard thinking of what Finnick has said to me.

"From the grotesque things they did to him. Drugs they gave him. He believed... he told me it would be highly unlikely, if not impossible to have a child." I say.

The doctor nods.

"Well, let's not assume the worst. I'm sure your baby was conceived out of love."

"I guess." I mutter.

"When is the last time you engaged in sexual intercourse?" He asks.

"Yesterday." I whisper. I can feel my cheeks flaming.

"Alright, have you had relations before that?" He asks.

"Yes after the wedding..." I trail off hoping he can figure it out.

"Alright, can you lay back for me please." He says and starts fiddling with something. "This will be cold." He says and smears some gel on my stomach.

"Is this to see my baby?" I ask.

"Yes." He smiles.

"Will you be able to hear the heartbeat?" I ask.

"Possibly. It depends how far along you are." He says.

He is looking at a screen and I'm hoping and praying that this baby is Finnick's. I couldn't... those monsters.

"Annie." I hear the doctor say worried.

"What? Is something wrong? Is it not Finnick's because-"

"Yes." He says.

"Yes what?" I ask because I just asked three different questions.

"This child was conceived while you were here. You're only a few weeks along but-"

"Oh." I whisper and move my hand to my lower abdomen.

He tells me how I should take better care of myself. What I should stay away from and of course regular check ups.

"Thank you." I whisper when he is finished.

"You're welcome Annie. If you have questions you should come here and ask."

"Okay." I say and find myself smiling.

* * *

I hear a knock on my compartment door. I haven't really been outside my room. I don't like leaving the room even for eating. Mostly because I eat by myself now. I catch Elsa every once in a while but right now I think I'd rather be alone.

I still can't wrap my head around being told I'm pregnant. I keep throwing up and I know it isn't just morning sickness. It's because Finnick doesn't know. I wish I could get a letter or something to him.

I go to open my door and see a smiling Johanna.

She's still living in the hospital. She isn't supposed to leave but trying to keep Johanna caged is so comical it isn't even funny.

She looks a little better though. She is starting to get hair back on her head but she is still visually twitching. I don't think she has showered yet. However, since she was tortured with water I don't blame her.

"Johanna." I say and she smirks.

"They're saying you're knocked up. Is that true?" She asks.

"Hello to you too." I say and she smiles.

She sighs.

"Annie. Is this true?" I Johanna asks again.

"What?" I ask confused.

"They say you're knocked up." Johanna says slower like I'm an idiot.

I suddenly feel my cheeks burning.

"Why would you be asking this?" I ask trying to keep my composure. I'm wondering who told her. There's supposed to be confidentially with these things.

"It's okay you're married. You're allowed to fuck then." She smiles. "Although I'm willing to bet that you were fucking before. Finnick always did smile when you were close by him."

I sigh.

"That could just be because he loves me." I say.

"Lord how stupid do you think I am." She smiles.

"I am pregnant ." I say to shut her up.

She comes into my compartment and sits next to me.

It's silent. I wonder if it's because she doesn't know what to say.

"Finnick didn't know before he left I mean..." She says finally breaking the silence.

"Neither did I." I whisper.

"Well maybe it's a good thing. Finnick wouldn't have gone if he knew." Johanna says.

I scoff.

"He still would've gone." I say matter of factly.

"What makes you think that?" Johanna asks.

"He would never want to see our child face reaping day or worse." I say and look at the floor.

"What's worse than having your kid go off to the Hunger Games?" Johanna asks confused.

"Civilians aren't supposed to know about Finnick and myself. Finnick needs to be available at all times. A baby." I breathe in and out deeply and look her dead in the eyes. "There would be no reaping day for them. Ever." I say.

Johanna clears her throat uncomfortable.

"I see." She whispers.

It's silent again.

"If he doesn't come back-" She says gently.

"He's coming back." I say confidently.

"Annie think about this... he might not. I'm not trying to upset you... for once." She says and I smile. "There's just no guarantee."

I swallow hard.

"Finnick's too good to not know he'll be a Father." I whisper.

"That's true." She says. "I'm sure he'll come back." She says.

"You don't believe he will." I state.

"I want to believe it Annie. I do. But, all the people I have genuinely cared about have died. They were murdered. I just don't want Finnick to end up the same way." She says.

"Are you saying you wouldn't have let him go?" I ask surprised.

She snorts.

"Nah. That idiot… that idiot would've shown up no matter what."

"I guess." I say.

"I shouldn't say no matter what." She says and I turn towards her confused. "Finnick wouldn't have gone if you told him not to. You don't realize how much that boy loves you." She says and smiles sadly.

"That's probably true. He probably doesn't know how much I love him either. I love him so much." I whisper.

"I know. The only thing Finnick might love more than you would be your kid." I smile. "Although I would recommend you take him to some type of parenting class. Finnick seems like the type of idiot to do something dangerous to a newborn."

I laugh.

"He isn't that stupid. He pretends a lot." She raises her eyebrows.

"Really? Well you're smarter than both of us. No matter how crazy they think you are." She says.

I nod.

"I know. I do." I say and she nods.

Johanna stands up and stretches.

"I should go. If you want to talk about being pregnant or whatever you can... with me." She says.

"What would you know about that?" I ask.

"Well nothing, but I was doing that whole shoulder to lean on type thing. I'm not good at this sappy stuff."

"I know. I'm surprised you're seeing me at all." I say.

She purses her lips together.

"What?" I ask.

"Finnick asked that I check up on you. He didn't want you to know." She says.

"Then why are you telling me?" I ask confused.

"Because I felt like telling." She smiles.

"Should've see that coming." I say

"Yes you should've. Finnick wouldn't have left without someone to check up on you." She smiles. "I wasn't gonna bother you every day but since you are with child now." She smiles. "You best believe I will find your skinny ass."

I smile.

"Thanks." I whisper.

"Don't worry about it." She says.

"Johanna." I say before she leaves.

"Yessum?" She says.

"You're not doing this just because Finnick asked are you?" I say.

She smirks.

"Don't ask questions you already know the answer to." She says.

"You don't really hate me do you?" I ask.

"Don't ask questions you already know the answer to." She smiles. "How could I hate anyone as kind as you?" She says and leaves.

I know I'm not her favorite person but, I do know she isn't just doing this because Finnick asked her. She cares about me. Not just Finnick. Me.


	202. Chapter 202

**Chapter 202**

I wake up and wipe dried drool from my chin and then head to the bathroom. I feel terribly nauseous.

"Oh." I whisper and get down on my knees in front of the toilet. I gag and then see a whole bunch of mucus come up. It's so yellow. Yellower than I thought possible.

I know or hope this is because of morning sickness.

I go back to bed and press my fingers to my temples.

If Finnick were here he wouldn't let me lift a finger.

Just like when I'm sick.

* * *

_"Finnick I'm perfectly capable of going to the store." I say._

_"But Annie you're sick." Finnick says worried._

_"It's nothing." I sneeze. "I'm fine." I sneeze again. "Honest." I sneeze again._

_"Annie, you should stay home under the covers. Possibly sleep."_

_"It's just a cold. Besides, I'm fine."_

_"It's cold out there. I don't want you to get sicker, just lie down." He says._

_I roll my eyes._

_"You're not gonna let me leave the house are you?" I say with a smile._

_"No ma'am. I need to make sure you're okay. Always."_

_"Always? What are you gonna follow me around like a lost puppy dog?" I ask._

_"Well it's better than a stalker." He says._

_I roll my eyes._

_"Love you." I say._

_"Love you too." He says._

* * *

I smile from the memory.

"Mrs. Odair!" I hear and a banging on the door.

"It's open." I say not caring who is knocking.

It swings open and I see it is someone from the hospital and they are holding a tray of food.

"You missed breakfast. A woman in your condition shouldn't miss a meal." They say.

"My condition. I'm not terminal. I'm pregnant. " I say and he sighs. "I felt really gross. I knew I would just throw it back up." I say.

"Well after you eat this you can come by the hospital. We can get you something for that." He says and gently sets the tray down on the desk and leaves.

I start eating the food slowly. I'm still worried I will throw up.

I look down at my stomach.

"Please be good today." I whisper. I stand up and hesitantly head to the hospital when I am finished.

I get there and see lots of hustle and bustle. I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to ask for or who.

"Annie!" I hear and turn towards the person who called my name. It's a girl, can't be older than fifteen. She has fair skin and blonde hair. She looks vaguely familiar.

"Hi." I say softly.

"These are for you." She says and hands me a brown paper bag.

I raise my eye brows wary .

"It's for your nausea. Don't worry, it won't hurt the baby." She smiles.

"Thanks." I say and am still confused on how people know I'm pregnant.

She nods.

"I heard Finnick left with Katniss to shoot some videos." She says.

"You're Prim." I say figuring it out. It's Katniss' sister. She nods.

"Sorry for my latent manners." She says.

"No, it's okay." I say.

"Where do you think they took them?" She asks.

"Uh-"

"Katniss was vague but, she said she would be back soon. I was wondering if Finnick said anything to you." She says.

Katniss lied then. Either that or Finnick did to me, but it would be stupid to lie about going off to fight in a war. He did try and tell me about shooting propos but, I didn't buy that for a hot second.

"He just said he was leaving to shoot some propos." I say.

Prim nods and looks off to a crowd of people who are leaving.

"Where are they going?" I ask her and motion towards the crowd.

"Going out for recon." I look at her confused. "I mean they're going to help the injured. Most are going to the Capitol." She says.

"Yeah the final battle is starting." She looks at me strangely. "Or so I've heard." I say and she nods.

"I want to go and help someone. I want to help them." She says.

"It's dangerous out there Prim." I say worried.

"I know but, I don't like sitting here when I know I can help." She says and I hear a grunt from Johanna.

"Anyways. I should go, more people need my help." She smiles and then leaves.

I turn towards Johanna.

"That girl is the total opposite of her sister she is... likable." Johanna says.

I roll my eyes.

"She also wants to leave and go onto a battlefield." I say and look back towards her.

"They wouldn't put medical help in harms way. Besides, she's thirteen they wouldn't put a thirteen year old girl out there unless they were desperate which they aren't... yet." She says.

"Thirteen year olds train to be soldiers. I wouldn't put it past them." I say concerned.

"I guess." I whisper. "I don't want to think about that." I say.

"Because you're with child?" Johanna smirks.

"Because they've barely lived." I correct.

"Whatever." She says.

I look down at my arm to see my schedule.

"What?" Johanna asks.

"I'm supposed to go to therapy." I say.

"Blow it off." She says.

"I think I should go."

"Why is that?" She asks.

"It will be nice to talk to someone else."

Johanna rolls her eyes.

"I hate my head doctor."

"Mines okay." I say and she rolls her eyes.

"You have better tolerance for shit like this." She says.

"Probably, but it will be nice to talk to someone else, especially about the pregnant thing." I say.

"Right the pregnant thing." Johanna smirks.

"I'm goin." I say.

"I'll see you later then." She says.

I wave as I walk away and head to Doctor Ash's office.

I open the door and see him smiling at me.

"Hello Annie." He says.

"Hi." I say and sit down. I haven't seen him since Finnick left.

"Do you have anything in particular you want to discuss today?" He asks.

"Sorta." I say and avoid his gaze.

"Alright." He says.

"I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant." I whisper.

"That's wonderful news Annie." He says. I wonder if he knew already.

"I know but Finnick... he doesn't know because he left to infiltrate the Capitol with Katniss. I found out after he left."

"So you're concerned he might never find out about this."

"No." I shake my head. "I know Finnick will come back it's just-"

"What is it Annie?" He presses.

"I'm scared." I whisper.

"That he won't come back?" He asks again.

"No, even though for some reason people keep telling me that." I say harshly.

"Are you afraid of having a child?" He asks.

I feel my throat tighten. I didn't want to say this out loud but it has crossed my mind, especially if Finnick doesn't come back.

He's gonna come back Annie. I think to myself.

"I guess. I mean... people keep reminding me how he won't come back and we are in a war. We could all die. We might not win." I say.

"That is true but, you shouldn't think negative about this Annie." He says.

"I know." I say thinking of how Finnick told me it would be hard to become pregnant but still...

"How does Finnick feel about this?"

"He doesn't know." I remind him.

"That's right. But do you think Finnick would be happy about this?" He asks

"Very much." I whisper.

"Why do you think Finnick would be happy?" He asks.

"I just know but, we kind of always knew we wouldn't have kids or didn't want them. I mean... the Hunger Games and all. It was never discussed but, it was obvious." I say.

"And you're worried because you never talked about this?" He asks.

"Yeah a little. I mean he's only 24 and I'm only 22. I feel like a child still, my Mother even cooks dinner for me and if Finnick isn't with me she stays in the room with me until I fall asleep." I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply. "I'm not ready."

"Annie, lots of Mothers to be feel this way."

"But they aren't me. I have some problems I deal with daily." I say.

"That doesn't matter." He says.

"Yes it does. It always matters." I whisper.

"Annie-"

"I want to be alone." I say and stand up.

"But our session isn't over." He says.

"It is for me. I need to lie down." I say and head back to my compartment.

I lay down on the bed and close my eyes. I press a pillow to my chest. It smells like Finnick.

_Finnick_. I think and smile.

Instead of thinking of all the things I just told Dr. Ash I try to picture Finnick's face when I tell him he will be a Father. I think of how happy he will be. He will be happy. I know that. To have someone made from me and him, who wouldn't find that happy.

I find myself smiling against the fabric.

I can't wait to tell him.


	203. Chapter 203

**Chapter 203**

"Finnick. Finnick. Finnick." I whisper as I toss and turn.

I bolt awake and push the pillow closer to myself but, soon let it go. I don't want it to smell like myself because then it will no longer smell like Finnick and I need that now. I need some part of him here with me. He never did say how long he would be gone.

I roll on my back and put my hand on my stomach.

"I have a strange feeling baby that something bad just happened." I whisper and rub my stomach back and forth.

I roll on my side.

"What would've happened though?" I whisper to myself. "Maybe Finnick." I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply. "Don't go there Annie. He's coming back. So we can go home." I look down at my stomach. "All three of us."

I roll back over but can't seem to sleep. My heart just has a terrible feeling that something bad will happen.

"Nothing bad happened it's just this place. This underground place." I whisper and roll over to try and go to sleep.

* * *

"Annie Cresta!" I hear in the cafeteria.

I sigh.

Johanna plops down next to me.

"Johanna." I say slightly annoyed

"Sorry Mrs. Odair." She smiles.

I nod. I'm starting to get annoyed with her but I honestly think she likes my company. I do too most of the time.

"You look terrible. Did you get sick all night?" She asks. I can tell she is genuinely concerned.

"No... well I woke up once or twice but I got this terrible feeling."

"A terrible feeling? Like in your stomach?" She asks.

"Like in my heart."

"What did it feel like?" She asks.

"A stabbing sensation combined with great sadness."

Johanna looks at me confused.

"I just felt sad. I think I have felt this before too." I say.

"Annie maybe you're sick." She says.

"No, nothing is wrong with me." I say defensively.

"Maybe you had a bad dream." She says.

"It wasn't a dream Johanna." I say harshly and she raises her eyebrows at me in shock.

"Why are you saying this?" She asks and vigorously takes a bite of her peas.

"Because I have this sick feeling that... that something happened. Something bad." I say.

"I'm sure everything is fine Annie." She says. "It's probably pregnant hormones or something. My friend had crazy dreams when she was knocked up." She says.

"I thought you didn't have friends." I say.

She smirks.

"This was before everyone I cared about was murdered. I'm sure everything is fine Annie."

"I guess." I whisper and push the peas around my plate.

Johanna and I eat in silence and don't speak for the rest of meal time. I walk back to my compartment alone and lie down on the bed.

I curl up underneath the covers and close my eyes. I fall asleep easily.

* * *

_"You okay?" I ask Finnick who is sitting on our bed with a pillow pressed to his chest. He looks so small. He is no longer crying which is good. I can't bear seeing him hurt._

_Finnick nods._

_I sit next to him and he curls into me._

_"Finnick." I say and run my hands through his hair. He doesn't answer so I just hold him for awhile._

_"I feel so sad Annie." He whispers._

_"Well that's understandable, Marci is-"_

_"Gone." He says and wipes his eyes._

_"Yes." I say and kiss his cheek._

_I just hold him for awhile. He isn't ready to speak yet._

_"It's like there's a hole in my heart Annie." He whispers. "It hurts. It feels like I'm being stabbed." He says and interlocks his fingers with mine and presses them to his chest. "It hurts because I'm so sad. It feels like this when my parents died. It hurts because she's gone." He says and sniffles._

_"Finnick." I whisper and pull him closer to me. "It's going to be okay. Eventually." I say and kiss his forehead._

_"I know." He says. "Can you just hold me until the sadness stops." He whispers._

_"I can try." I say and kiss him._

_"Thank you." He says and moves himself closer to me. "Thank you Annie. I love you so much." He whispers and kisses me._

* * *

I bolt awake frightened.

_Why do I keep having memories come back in my dreams?_ I think to myself.

I swallow hard and close my eyes. I try to find sleep but I can't.

I throw the covers off myself from being hot.

I'm starting to breath heavily and I can start to feel sweat appear on my body.

I sigh loudly.

I get up to use the restroom.

I splash water on my face hoping it will help but it doesn't. Not really. Before I can go to the bathroom I vomit like I have the past few nights.

I sit on the toilet and when I pull down my underpants I see blood.

"Oh my god." I say worried. It isn't a lot but, I know when you are bleeding while you're pregnant it isn't a good thing.

"Oh god. Oh god." I whisper worried. "Hospital." I say and stand up. I practically run there.

I get to the hospital but, don't know who I should ask for. I see lots of people aren't here. Maybe it's because it is four in he morning. They probably don't have lots of workers late at night.

"Annie?" I hear and walk towards Johanna's curtain.

"Johanna why aren't you sleeping?" I ask.

"I don't sleep." She says harshly and comes closer to me.

"Annie are you bleeding?" She asks

"I… I don't know what's wrong." I say confused.

"You're bleeding Annie." I hear Johanna say concerned again. "You're bleeding like you have a period." She says.

I press my hands to my temples.

"Annie." She says then I throw up and pass out.


	204. Chapter 204

**Chapter 204**

"Mmmmh." I say and wake up confused. I see I'm still in the hospital.

My memory is hazy. I vaguely remember coming here last night and I don't think it was to visit Johanna.

"How are my patients this morning?" I hear a man ask. I'm assuming a doctor.

"Good sir." A woman says possibly a nurse.

"And the newest one, Annie Odair?" He asks.

"She seems to be resting peacefully." She says.

"Has she awoken since she passed out?" He asks.

"Once but I wouldn't call her awake. She was still pretty out of it."

"Very well, tell her the results when she awakens and make sure nothing happens to her Cora. Coin wants most of the victors alive for when the war is over. Something about a vote."

"Yes sir." She says.

_A vote? I wonder what for and what does it have to do with victors?_ I think confused.

I don't hear her come to check on me which I am strangely grateful for.

"Cora." I hear another woman say.

"Yes Jess?" She asks.

"Did you hear what people are saying?" Jess asks.

"Be more specific please." Cora says annoyed.

"People are saying Boggs' squad is dead. There was apparently a giant explosion on their way to the Capitol." Jess says.

"Really?" Cora says intrigued.

"Really." Jess says excited.

"That's Katniss Everdeen's squad, that was supposed to be for show." Cora says slightly confused.

"Well, they must have run into trouble because Boggs' transmitter has been shut off." Jess says

"Well at least Coin won't have to worry about what she will do to Katniss if she comes back." Cora says

"Excuse me?" Jess says baffled.

"She never wanted Katniss to come back. That's why she let Peeta go. She doesn't want Katniss back to steal everything. She wanted Peeta to take care of her." Cora says

"Now she doesn't have to." Jess says

"So you're certain they're all dead? Katniss, Peeta, Boggs, Cressida, Finnick,-" Cora says.

"That's what they're saying not much of a star squad left." Jess says and snickers.

"Well, I have to check on Annie to see if she is still asleep." Cora says. I think she is trying to get away from this conversation.

"Her test come back?" Jess asks

"Yes." Cora says

"Positive or negative?" Jess says like a school girl

"I'm not allowed to say." Cora says defensively. At least she seems more serious about her job.

"She's gonna loose her shit." Jess says.

"Not if it's done in the right way." Cora says.

_Loose my shit?_ I think to myself confused.

I move the scratchy sheet off of me. I hit myself in the face with a small tube. I look down and see that an IV is in my hand.

"Great." I whisper. I also notice lots of stickers pressed to my lower abdomen. Not stickers but, little wires with some type of conductors. I wonder what they do.

I swallow hard.

"My baby." I whisper. I wonder…

I look around to see if Johanna or anyone is here but I don't see a soul.

I must have my own room because I don't see anyone else. Something must be terribly wrong for me to have my own room.

"My baby." I whisper again and move my hand to my stomach.

I close my eyes.

"We're okay." I whisper. "We're okay and those people are just gossiping. Finnick or Daddy." I smile. "Is are Katniss and Peeta. I'm sure the other members are too. They're fine." I whisper. "They're fine. Especially Daddy." I say.

Although I am sure that Coin wanted to get rid of Katniss. I already discussed that possibility with Finnick and Johanna. You would think Coin doesn't want us alive, but the doctor seemed to make sure if I didn't live there would be a price to pay. Maybe they just want to lock me up or maybe it's because I'm pregnant.

I look down and see a remote next to me. I recognize it from when I was here before. It's to call someone in here if you need help.

I press the pink call button to figure out what is wrong with me. A nurse comes in almost instantly and smiles. I'm assuming this is Cora.

"Good you're awake Annie." She says. "My name is Cora and I'll be your nurse."

"What's wrong with me?" I ask more like whimper. Cora looks to be in her middle twenties. She is pale and has short brown hair. She looks friendly.

"Nothing." She smiles.

"Nothing?" I say confused. "Than why am I in the hospital?" I ask.

"There is nothing wrong with you-"

"But I was bleeding and I'm pregnant." I say. She looks at me confused. "I am still pregnant aren't I?" I ask worried.

"Your baby's fine. Spotting is common within the first trimester." She says. Although I wouldn't call all that blood 'spotting'. But if she says we're fine we must be. She messes with my IV bag. "However, you will be staying in the hospital for a week to make sure everything is fine." She says.

"Fine?" I ask confused.

"Everything is fine with you Annie, it's just a precaution." Cora says.

"Are you not telling me something?" I ask.

"Of course not." She says.

"Then why can't I leave?" I say angrily.

"Well, nothing is wrong now Annie but we need to make sure. The doctor wants to speak with you soon, about some tests."

"Tests?" I ask nervous.

"Yes-"

"But you're saying I'm fine?"

"You are. The doctor will be in shortly."

"But I-" I start but she is already gone.

I hear the curtain open and turn towards it hoping it is the doctor but it's not. It's Johanna.

"You're awake." She says and sits on my bed.

"I'm awake." I say annoyed.

"So, how are you?" She asks.

"They say I'm fine but there's something they aren't telling me." I whisper.

She nods and it's silent.

I swallow hard.

"I heard those nurses talking out there... they said there was an explosion of some sort and that everyone in the star squad is now dead."

"That's Katniss' squad right?" She asks.

"Finnick is in that squad. Do you think that is why I felt terrible, because he died?"

"Annie-"

"They sometimes say you can feel when a loved one has died even when they are half way around the world. Maybe I felt so terrible because he's dead… they're all dead." I whisper.

"Annie calm down. I'm sure they're all fine." She says.

"They said Commander Boggs was dead." I say.

"That doesn't mean they're all dead." She says.

"If the leader of the squad is then-"

"Leaders tend to put people in front of them. Even if Boggs is dead it doesn't mean the rest of them are." She says. "Okay?" She asks.

"Okay." I whisper not believing her.

"I want to be alone." I say and she leaves without hesitation.

_ I love you so much Mrs. Odair_. I hear in my head.

"I love you so much too." I whisper. "So much." I whisper. "Daddy loves us baby and you'll see how much when he comes home." I whisper and place my hand on my stomach.


	205. Chapter 205

**Chapter 205**

_"Annie come here darling. I have something I need to show you." I hear. "I need to show you this." I hear and then feel a pull on my arm._

* * *

"Annie." I hear and open my eyes. I see I'm still in the hospital.

"Yes?" I say through a yawn.

"Have to check your blood pressure." Cora says.

I hold out my arm.

"When can I leave? I feel fine." I say angrily.

"The doctor will speak with you soon Annie."

"What is wrong with me?" I ask.

"Doctor Hones thinks this might be what we call a high risk pregnancy. If that is true, you should stay in bed and we can watch you here."

"I can't stand hospitals. The Hunger Games..." I swallow hard. "I can't be here." I whisper.

"Well, there is no one who will look after you."

I groan in and out.

"I'm fine." I say. "Honest." I whisper.

"Well, it will be the doctors call Annie." She says and looks at me strangely.

"What?" I ask.

"Annie, you have to try and be good. People here…they might not trust you. You might not get to raise your little boy or girl." She says.

"Don't you threaten me." I whisper.

"It's not a threat if it's a fact. They have done it to citizens here. Try and stay healthy." She says and walks out of the room.

I hear the curtain open.

"Johanna leave me alone." I say recognizing her footsteps.

"Annie-"

"I want to be alone. Unless you're the doctor or Finnick."

"I just wanted to see if you were okay. You were bleeding-"

"They said I was okay but I don't know."

"Do you feel weird?" She asks.

"Nah maybe if they showed me a picture of the baby or something." I whisper.

"You could probably ask. I mean they have all those electrodes on your stomach for a reason. Right?" She asks.

"I guess they keep telling me all these tests and... I'm-"

"I'm not the emotional type of hand holder Annie. So if you start crying I'm sorry, I can't help you."

"Gee thanks." I mumble. Then sniffle.

"But, I'm sure you're okay." She says.

I groan loudly.

"I can't stay in this hospital." I whisper.

"With all this shit hooked up to you I think you should."

I lie down.

"I thought you said I was okay." I say.

"I'm sure you are." She says.

I sigh and it's silent.

"Do you know what you will call it?" Johanna says bluntly.

"Huh?" I say confused.

"Your baby. What are you gonna call it?" She asks.

"I don't know. I will talk it over with Finnick. This kid has his DNA too."

"Right." She says and nods.

"What?" I ask confused.

"I just thought since you would have to give birth and carry it, it would be a fair trade for you to name the kid."

"I haven't even told Finnick yet. Way too early to be thinking names."

"Right." She says and looks at the ground.

"Johanna." I say.

"What?" She says.

"Do you think I'm a fool? For thinking he will come back?"

Johanna scoffs.

"He hasn't been pronounced dead yet. No one from that squad has. You need to calm down."

"Telling me that is just getting me more worked up." I say.

"Well that I understand. It's like when these idiots tell us we're safe."

"Yeah." I say distracted.

"What?" She asks.

"When Finnick tells me I'm safe, I feel safe. I like when he holds me." I whisper.

"I'm sorry Annie. I shouldn't have said anything. " She says.

"It's not your fault." I whisper.

She nods.

I look around and see this terrible place. Bland background and dozens of machines beeping.

I want Finnick here. I want him to be here in the hospital with me. I want that but I can't have that right now.

"I want that pillow case." I whisper knowing I will somehow be closer to him then.

"Pillow case?" Johanna says confused.

"In my room. In our room. The pillow Finnick slept on... still smells like him. I like that. It also reminds me of the sea. That's what he smells like, the sea and sunlight." I say.

Johanna rolls her eyes.

"You're gonna make me barf." She says.

I sigh.

"I can get that pillow case if it's so god damn important for you. But you do realize the more you sleep with it-"

"It will start to smell like me. Yeah I know but, he didn't really give me anything else."

"You have that green pearl ring." She says and I look down at my finger.

"Yeah. I also have that locket he gave me, but they were taken from me in the Capitol. My captor gave me them back but, it feels slightly different now." I whisper.

"I see." She says. "At least you have something to hold onto. All I got is my government assigned clothes and such."

I swallow hard and nod not realizing just how lucky I am.

"Stop feeling sorry for Annie Cresta, I don't need pity. I'm just glad they're letting me wear this jumpsuit instead some stupid hospital gown." She says.

"I wasn't pitying you Johanna Mason."

"Yeah whatever." She says.

"Jo-"

"I can get you that pillow case." She says again.

"Thanks." I whisper.

"Good." She stands up and leaves.

"Thank you." I say but she has already left.

I lie back and press the call button.

"Yes Annie?" Cora asks while coming into the room.

"I was wondering if you could do one of those ultrasounds to see my baby? If you say I'm fine-"

"I'll try Annie, but your baby is fine and so are you."

"Then why did you mention tests earlier?" I ask.

"We ran a few tests. Standard procedure. It's nothing to fret over."

"Then why won't you let me see?" I ask.

"Because we have lots of injured people who need those machines more than you right now." She says.

"Injured people?" I say worried.

"Mostly people from District Five. They survived after the dam blew. They came for refuge and we will help them because they are with us."

"I see." I say not believing her.

"Can I do anything else for you?" She asks.

"If you knew something about my husband, even if it was something bad... you're required to tell me aren't you?" I ask.

"By law here in District 13, we have to tell the family if someone dies. Mostly so we can make the death certificate official. So if your husband dies you will know immediately."

"That's the law." I say.

"That's the law." She smiles.

"So my husband is still alive."

"Yes. Finnick is still alive. As far as we know that is."

"Thank you." I whisper and then she leaves.

I breathe in and out deeply then close my eyes.

I wait until Johanna comes back and press Finnick's pillow case to my face like it's a blanket.

I try to keep the tears off it but can't. I don't know why I'm crying. Maybe because I'm sad or maybe because know they are legally required to tell me if he dies.


	206. Chapter 206

**Chapter 206**

I button up my jumpsuit. They finally let me leave the hospital. They just want me to take it easy and stay off of my feet. They say I have a high risk pregnancy which means there could be many possible consequences. So they changed my schedule so I can take it easy. I don't have to do kitchen duty anymore and have been almost restricted to my room. I get meals delivered most of the time.

I hate this. I hate it.

* * *

_"Are you serious Annie?" Finnick smiles as I bring his dinner to him. He's still in bed and his food is on a tray._

_"You're supposed to be taking it easy remember." I say._

_"There's a difference between taking it easy and being restrained to the bed." He whines._

_"I'm not restraining you. I let you go to the bathroom by yourself." I say._

_He rolls his eyes._

_"I think I would have better luck in the hospital."_

_"Maybe." I smile and kiss his cheek. "Now come on and eat."_

_He sighs._

_"Don't make me feed you Finnick Odair."_

_"That would be so demeaning." He says and kisses my cheek._

_I watch him eat._

_"Don't pretend you wouldn't do the same thing to me." I say._

_"I would but, I would let you think you're in control." He says and I roll my eyes._

_"I love you." I say._

* * *

I hear a knock on the door and jump.

I open it and see Johanna.

"I really want to be alone." I say.

"I know. I'm not gonna check up on you as much but, I want to show you something." She says.

"What?" I ask annoyed.

"Something important." She says and takes my hand. She starts taking me down hallways that look vaguely familiar.

"Slow down you're making me nauseous." I say.

"I'm sorry but, we're sort of on a timeline here." I say.

"For what?" I ask.

She pushes open a door and I see we are in a command like room.

I see President Coin. A government official and Beetee.

"What's this?" I ask.

"Mrs. Odair, Miss. Mason. What are you doing here?" Coin asks. More like demands.

"Johanna dragged me here." I say and remove my hand from hers.

"That I can believe." She looks Johanna up and down. "I already told you she doesn't need to know anything Miss. Mason."

"I think she should know. Lots of people are going to die because of this."

"What is this?" I whisper to Johanna.

"We came up with a plan Annie. Gale and myself cooked it up." Beetee says.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"Parachutes like in the arena. People are starting to take refuge in places." Beetee says.

"The presidential mansion precisely. If we take that down President Snow should surrender." Coin says.

I look towards lots of the screens and see explosions. I see death on each screen. They are focused on one and it has hovercrafts. Hovercrafts with the Capitol seal.

"They aren't even fighting back. I think they're about to surrender." I say.

"Silly child. These people don't deserve it. They are all evil. They all sit back and watch those barbaric games." Coin says.

"Most of these people are children. I even see some of your medical staff there."

"Seventy Five years worth of children have died and our people know what they are risking." Coin says

"You're going to hurt unarmed children. Innocent people." I say.

"No one there is innocent." I hear Coin say.

"Don't give the order this isn't right Beetee." I say.

"I'm sorry Annie but, there are things you don't understand." He says.

"No!" I say. "Please don't-"

"Mrs. Odair your thoughts were not requested. You shouldn't even be here. You should be lying down. You should be in the hospital still. You can't take care of yourself. You're unfit and people are going to be watching you. Closely." Coin says and I feel Johanna start to drag me from the room.

"No!" I shout.

"Annie stop." Johanna says and grabs my wrist.

"But-"

"Annie you can't get into an altercation with them."

"But-"

"Let's just go." She says and pulls me away.

"They're going to kill innocent children!" I say.

"The price of freedom is high, but it's one I'm willing to pay. Apparently you don't feel the same way." Coin says.

"But you don't need to do this. It looks like we've already won. You're killing unnecessary people!" I shout and Johanna gently drags me from the room.

."Do you want to get your ass whooped? Annie they don't like you much here and Finnick isn't here to protect you right now and I am not in the god damn mood."

"But it's not right. We've already won." I whisper. Johanna doesn't say anything she just drags me away not soon enough though because I see the parachutes drop and explode on those children.

* * *

Johanna walks me back to my room.

"You can go now." I say.

"There's no fucking way I'm leaving you alone." She says and I sigh.

We sit in an uncomfortable silence.

"What do you think Coin meant when she said people would be watching me closely?" I ask and turn towards her. I remember what Cora told me in the hospital, that people would take my child away.

"I just think they're going to be watching you. Maybe because of the whole high risk pregnancy thing." Johanna says.

"You know that's not what she meant. It was a threat." I whisper.

"Annie since the war is pretty much over Finnick will be coming back." Johanna says changing the subject she must not like talking about this subject.

"I know. However, she killed innocent people."

"War is hell is what they say." Johanna says.

"She didn't need to do that." I say.

Johanna sighs deeply.

"Finnick's gonna come back soon just remember that. You're gonna tell him you're with child and he's gonna be so happy he might shit himself."

I roll my eyes.

"Finnick's gonna come back." I whisper.

She nods.

"So will Katniss, Peeta, Gale, and the others. Everything is about to be okay."

"You're getting really sappy."

"I know. I'm trying. I'm trying really hard Annie." She says.

"I know you are and I appreciate it." I say.

I hear a knock on the door. Johanna gets up to answer it and I see it is someone who looks important.

"Most of the squads will be back within forty eight hours. You will be alerted when your requested squad has come back." He says and then bows his head to leave.

"Requested squad?" I look at Johanna.

"The one I was supposed to be in. It doesn't fucking matter anyways. Besides, they will all be back soon."

I nod.

"I won't be able to sleep." I whisper.

"I'll stay. I promised Finnick I would."

"What else did you promise him?" I ask amused.

"Lots of stuff. Most of which I hope I don't need to follow through with."

"You mean if he..." I trail off.

She nods.

"Yup."

"What did he tell you?" I ask.

"You don't get to know unless he doesn't come back." She says.

"Fair enough." I say.

She nods and I reach for her hand.

I don't sleep and I eat the food that is brought to me. They figure out Johanna is staying with me and bring her meals too.

It seems like forever before there is another knock on the door.

Johanna opens it quickly.

"They're back." The same person says.

Johanna's on her feet as soon as she comprehends this but I stay seated.

"Annie come on." She says and holds out her hand.

I swallow hard

I take her hand slowly and she starts to drag me to the hospital.


	207. Chapter 207

**Chapter 207**

Johanna and I hurry to the hospital which is a mess. There are injured people and medics all over the place. We don't have a guide so Finnick, Peeta, Gale, Katniss or anyone from the star squad could be anywhere.

Johanna points somewhere and I see she is pointing at Peeta.

Johanna walks over towards him and I follow. I'm sure he can tell us what happened. He doesn't look as badly injured as I suspected. Hopefully it is the same for Finnick.

"Johanna, Annie." He says. His voice is hoarse. I wonder what happened to him.

"Looks like you made it back. Did brainless?" Johanna asks.

"Katniss is here somewhere, she was on fire." He says slightly angry.

"That's ironic." Johanna smiles and I jab her side. She shouldn't joke about things like this.

"What about the rest of your squad?" I ask not wanting to just shout out Finnick's name.

"Some were killed while we were in the sewers. There were explosions and these mutts that were after Katniss. They destroyed everything in their path. You both know how mutts work." He looks towards us.

"Breathe and kill." Johanna says.

"Exactly." Peeta says. "It didn't matter that the target was Katniss. Anything else they killed was just a bonus."

I nod disturbed.

"How many people are left in your squad? Some of the nurses said Boggs died." I say.

"He did. He basically made Katniss in charge which wasn't a likable decision by everyone."

I nod.

"Where's Finnick?" I ask not able to hold it in anymore.

"Finnick was part of our squad." He says.

"I know, that's why I'm asking you where he is." I say aggressively.

"Annie calm down. He isn't exactly stable." Johanna whispers. I don't think Peeta heard and I don't really care if he did.

"The mutts came after all of us. They killed lots of us. All of the camera crew. Boggs and other soldiers died because the mutts were so aggressive and the structure started to give out."

"Where's Finnick?" I ask.

"I was at the front of the line. There were lots of moans and screams from the mutts."

"Where's-"

"Katniss was the last one up. You could hear distinct screams though, human screams. Gale pushed Katniss up the latter so she wouldn't go back down because he knew she would die. Gale knew there was nothing we could do. Katniss is the last person that saw him."

"That's the end of your story?" I say confused and angry.

"Annie." Johanna whispers and grabs my wrist.

"What?" I say and she starts to drag me away from him. "That can't be the end! Peeta didn't say where he is!" I shout.

"Annie." Johanna says sadly.

"I know what you're thinking, but I will just talk to Katniss." I say but Johanna pushes me down on a chair.

"Annie..." She says and it looks like the words are stuck on her lips. "Finnick isn't-"

"Mrs. Odair!" Johanna gets interrupted by a woman holding a clipboard. Her hair is in a tight bun and she isn't wearing a jumpsuit, it's something more formal. "Mrs. Odair!" The woman shouts again and when she reaches us she is breathing heavily.

"I'm glad I found you so quickly." She says. She sounds sad.

"Why?" I ask confused.

"Because it will make things a bit easier on everyone." She says.

"Easier?" I say confused.

"Yes." She says

"Do you know where Finnick is?" I ask.

"Annie, he and some of the other members of the star squad got severely injured." She says.

"I know Peeta already told me that." I say wanting her to cut to the chase.

"Okay." She says.

"How bad is Finnick? Is he alright?" I ask.

She doesn't say anything.

"Where's Finnick?" I ask harshly this time.

"His body was never discovered after an explosion." She says.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"Mrs. Odair, I think you know what it means." She says baffled.

"No I don't." I say frustrated.

"Finnick's body was never found so he is classified as missing in action." She says.

"Well why aren't we looking for him?" I ask angrily.

"Annie, missing in action is a different way to say they're dead." Johanna says gently.

The woman nods.

"He's not dead." I say.

"Annie-"

"He's not dead! He just couldn't be found! It's like what murderers say, if there's no body there's no crime! If you can't find his body then he's not dead." I say.

"Mrs. Odair you need to sign some papers-"

"Leave her alone." Johanna says abruptly.

"But we need to get some forms signed so it is official. So we know she understands. There are lots of other-"

"Bitch leave her alone. Leave her alone." Johanna says and starts to drag me somewhere.

I hear the woman shout something but, she doesn't look back.

"Here." Johanna says and hands me some water. I slap it out of her hand.

"I don't want any water. I just want to know where my husband is." I say.

"Annie. You do understand what they're saying when he's missing in action, correct?" She asks.

I don't say anything.

"They can't officially pronounce him as dead because there's no body. So there's no proof."

"Which means he is alive."

She sighs and looks at her finger nails.

"I have something for you." She says not looking me in the eyes.

"What?" I look at her like she just spoke a different language.

"I have something for you." She says again. "But it's in my compartment." She says still not meeting my gaze.

I cock my head to the side confused and she finally looks up.

"It's from Finnick." She says.


	208. Chapter 208

**Chapter 208**

"He tell you to give it to me if he died?" I ask.

"No. He told me to give it to you if you were going to cry."

"Shut the fuck up." I say because I can't imagine Finnick saying something like that.

"Those weren't exactly his words but, whatever." She smirks and walks us to the room she stays when she isn't in the hospital.

She opens one of the dresser drawers and pulls out a folded piece of paper then hands it to me.

"Well, open it." She

I sigh and do.

_Dear Annie,_

_I am writing this letter to you as you're in the shower. It's the only free time I really have without you. I'm okay with that but, I miss you. I wish I could spend every minute with you here, but sadly I can't._

_I can hear you singing in the shower right now. I don't think we ever settled on who was worse, you or me. But, since I am good at everything, I think the answer should be obvious._

I roll my eyes.

_I'm entrusting Johanna with this letter so I'm hoping she will give it to you UNREAD. Although I suspect she has already read it._

I smile.

_God I love you Annie so much. I love your smile. I love your eyes. They're so beautiful. You're so beautiful. I love the freckles on your nose that I only notice when I'm about to kiss you. I love you so much._

_I'm know I've said this before Annie but, I am lucky that I fell in love with you. So lucky._

_I want you to remember that, always._

I turn the paper over but only see one word.

_-Finnick_

"Where's the rest?" I ask slightly annoyed. It is obvious he wrote more. I wonder if Johanna took it.

I look up at her and she looks annoyed maybe she thought I wouldn't figure it out.

She sighs.

"There's more you just don't get it... yet."

"Why not?" I ask.

She looks off to the side.

"Let's just say he might have given me something if he didn't come back."

I sigh.

"What did the letter say anyways?" She asks.

"None of your business." I say and put the note in my pocket.

She nods.

"I'm going to try and find Katniss." I say knowing she will probably know if Finnick is dead considering Peeta's story.

"I think she's unconscious still, and the first thing when she wakes up shouldn't be an interrogation."

I sigh.

"Fine, but what should I do now?"

"Nothing." She says.

"I can't do nothing." I mutter.

"Well take a nap or something. You shouldn't be stressed. That's apparently a bad thing for pregnant woman." She says.

"Johanna." I whine.

"Listen, I don't like being your babysitter but I made promises to Finnick. He is my friend." She says.

"I know you have feelings for him." I whisper.

"So do lots of people but, I wouldn't do anything. Besides, I don't think I could be around him 24/7 he would get annoying." She says.

* * *

_"What the hell are you doing?" I shout as I see Finnick rummaging around our cabinets._

_"I can't find anything in this kitchen." He says dramatically. _

_"Well you'll get used to it." I say._

_"Annie if we live together now shouldn't we change some things around?" He hops off the chair. "Spice things up a bit." He smiles and kisses my cheek._

_"I don't know. I like how things are right now." I say._

_"But that means it's _**your** _house still and it's supposed to be_ **our** _house now." He smiles and kisses my cheek again._

_"It is our house." I say with a smile._

_"Then can I make a suggestion. Please?" He asks._

_"Yes." He claps his hands together as if he has just achieved some big victory. "I think we should make this drawer." He taps a cabinet. "Our candy drawer." He smiles._

_"Since when do you like sweets?" I ask surprised._

_"I do occasionally. Besides, I think we should just establish a place because I know how much you like them. I don't want little hard candies or salt water taffy sitting everywhere." He says._

_I roll my eyes._

_"You're making it seem like I'm going to turn into a diabetic or something." I say._

_"Back to the cabinet, you only keep spare paper towels and napkins in here. I was just thinking." He smiles and raises his eyebrows._

_I sigh._

_"Fine." I say knowing he wants the candy there._

_"Now that you have caved on this, it will be making rearranging the closet much easier." He smiles and trails off to go upstairs._

_"What do you mean rearrange the closet?! You have a whole half to yourself!" I shout and run after him._

_"I was thinking seasonal wear." He says and picks me up and starts taking me to the bedroom. He sets me down in front of the closet. "I mean think about it Annie, in the summer you would only have to worry about your shirt and tanks tops. Not having to look all over the closet between hoodies, long sleeves, and pajamas."_

_"My pajamas are in a drawer and you can do that on _**your** side."

_He shakes his head._

_"We need to match." He says and starts riffling through my clothes._

_"Hey!" I shout._

_"What?" He asks._

_"Your closet at your house was never 'seasonal'." I say and he smiles._

_"I know but new house and I can reorganize everything easily." He shrugs. "I thought why not." He says and his lips kiss mine briefly._

_I roll my eyes._

_"You cannot reorganize anything else Finnick." I scold._

_"Please. I haven't even discussed my thoughts on rearranging the family room furniture yet."_

_"Well I'm reconsidering letting you move in." I say._

_"Oh Annie you say such funny things." He says and kisses my cheek._

* * *

"Annie." Johanna says and waves her hand in front of my face.

"What?" I ask.

"You were staring off into space for five minutes."

"Sorry. I was thinking of a time Finnick was being annoying."

"I would zone out for awhile too." She says. "I'm going to walk you to your room so you can sleep." She says.

"But I-"

"No complaining just shut it." She says. I'm surprised she knows where my room is. Maybe Finnick showed her that too.

"Here." She says and opens the door and makes sure I sit down on the bed.

"Fall asleep." She demands.

"I'm not tired." I say.

"Well I'm not going to stay until you're out. I'm not going to sing or tell you a bed time story either." She says. "I'll just check on you later." She says and walks out.

I roll on my back.

"Where do you think Daddy is baby?" I ask and look down at my stomach. "Daddy needs to come home so he can find out about you. And you'll like him, he's super silly." I say and rub my stomach. "He's the best." I whisper and can feel tears form in my eyes.

I curl into a ball. I'm not tired. I want to be staying in the hospital to find Finnick, but I know that won't do any good.

I feel the urge to vomit but don't want to get up. I just want Finnick here. Wherever he is I know he must want me as much as I want him.


	209. Chapter 209

**Chapter 209**

Johanna checks on me regularly and honestly, I can't tell which one of us hates it more.

Finnick is still missing in action. I think more and more people are thinkin he is dead. I hope that isn't the case

The door opens and I flinch.

"It's just me." Johanna snorts.

I nod.

"Thought I should tell you Katniss is awake."

"Really?" I say happily.

"Yup but I wouldn't bother going to talk to her."

"Why?" I ask confused.

"She's taken a vow of silence." She says unamused.

"Why?" I ask just as confused.

"Her sister is dead." Johanna says flatly.

"Prim?" I ask remembering how she was saying she wanted to help people. How she wanted to go to the Capitol and help the injured.

"Yup." Johanna says.

We sit in silence.

"All of this happened because of her." I whisper.

"Katniss? I know-"

"No her sister. If Prim's name was never called... Katniss would've never volunteered. There never would've been berries... which means no riots. Which means no all star Hunger Games which means-"

"Thirteen wouldn't have given a damn about any of us. Let us die and starve." Johanna says. "Shit." She says. "Do you really believe it was all Katniss?"

"Those fistful of berries got the ball rolling. People were always just too afraid before. Even though Katniss never wanted this. She never wanted any of it. She just wanted to keep the ones she loved safe."

"She can't do that now." Johanna says. "She'll probably talk again Annie so you can ask her... eventually."

"I don't have the desire anymore." I say removed. I don't want to ask Katniss that. No matter how much I want to know where Finnick is. "I'm going for a walk." I say and stand up.

I don't know where I'm going but, don't care. Johanna doesn't stop me. I can tell by the atmosphere that we have won maybe not the war but a big battle.

I stop walking eventually and find myself outside of the hospital again. Although, I've never been to this part.

_Intensive Care Unit._ The label reads.

We have these in Four as well. Most of the patients die. All of the rooms are see through glass so you can always be watched. The patient is usually hooked up to dozens of machines. Most of them just look ready to die.

I don't want to walk in there. I don't have a reason to either.

I'm about to turn around when I hear.

"Mrs. Odair!"

I sigh.

"Yes?" I say unamused.

"I was just about to look for you." I notice it is the woman from earlier.

"I'm not in the mood." I tell her.

"I just wanted to ask you something. Lots of patients in here are unidentifiable due to their injures. However, most family members can recognize a family member when people are still badly injured."

"Are you saying Finnick could just be a John Doe?" I ask hopeful.

"Possibly but, I wouldn't get too excited Mrs. Odair we still have had no word on Mr. Odair."

"Can I just look?" I whisper.

It's silent for a long time.

"Fine but, most of the patients are injured beyond recognition."

"That's okay." I say.

I go into the ICU and like I remember it's terrible in here. It even smells like death. I can tell many people are sharing rooms which must mean there lots of injured.

Inside the rooms I can see people, mostly likely family members sitting with them. I also see people crying but, the worst sight is seeing the deformed patients lying there all alone in their bed. Dying alone.

"Do they not get visitors?" I motion towards the ones without anyone in them.

"The ones who have been identified yes."

I nod.

"Most of the people in there are Jane or John Does. No one knows who they are." She says and I nod as she takes me down that wing. "The unidentified patients are all over here." She says and stops when we are in a hallway. I notice all of these patients have their own rooms. They are all disfigured. Most patients are burned badly. Reddish pink skin and some are so burned the skin is black. Most of them have some type of body part missing. I can tell they all have broken bones but who knows what kind of internal injuries these people have.

This makes me sick.

"Most of the men are over here." She says.

I almost don't want to look at them. Not because Finnick might not be here but, because of how badly injured these people are.

I walk past the patients and most are passed out or in a medical induced coma. Some are too badly injured that they are past recognition and are just a raw slab of meat. Finnick could be in one of those beds and I would never know.

If Finnick is one of these people, I hope I can recognize him. I wouldn't be a very good wife if I couldn't.


	210. Chapter 210

**Chapter 210**

I walk down the line and start to feel dizzy by how badly injured these people are.

I don't like getting too close to them because I'm afraid I might scare them. But honestly I'm probably just as scared. However, I know that would defeat the point of this because, I'm supposed to identify Finnick.

In a few rooms patients try to reach out for me. I keep thinking they are Finnick but when I get close enough I know there is no way that person could be him. Maybe these patients just want some comfort, other than the nurses and doctors.

I'm at the end of the line and I hear a loud groaning noise come from one of the rooms. I already looked at him. A nurse soon comes in but,the person still seems distraught.

I move on hoping that person doesn't have a heart attack or something.

I get to the last room and enter. I smile at him even though I know it isn't Finnick.

"Who are you?" The person makes out. I can barely understand him.

"I'm just looking for my husband." I whisper.

"Sorry. I'm not married." He says.

"I know." I say. I know it's not Finnick because he has brown eyes. Finnick's are bright green.

I press the nurse call button.

"But I'm sure people are looking for you."

"Sister." He coughs.

This man looks like a burnt piece of meat. He also has lost his left hand and right leg. His neck is so burned that I'm guessing that's why he couldn't speak.

"Feel better." I say as the nurse walks in.

"I hope you find him. Your husband. You seem nice." He says.

"Thank you. I hope your sister comes to see you." I say and smile before I leave the room.

That's it. That's all of them and not one of them resembled Finnick.

I sigh.

I need to get out of here. Not because I didn't see Finnick but because I can't look at these people anymore. They're so badly injured. I also know most of them will probably die and I'm sure they know it too. But, despite this I could tell there was hope in most of their eyes or it was just a drug haze. I think if I were about to die I would want to be in a drug haze rather than pain. Then again, who knows if I would be able to give a proper goodbye to the people I love.

I don't like thinking about this and neither does baby because I'm feeling very nauseous.

"It's okay baby." I whisper and move my hand to my stomach.

I keep walking and start thinking about those people and their eyes. I knew that man wasn't Finnick because they were brown. Most of the population here has brown eyes. So it makes sense most of the patients have brown eyes as well.

However, I did see a few blue, silver, and green. The brighter colors stood out against their charred flesh and broken faces.

I even saw one person with purple eyes. I'm surprised they haven't been identified because that is an easy tell.

_Purple eyes._

_Blue eyes._

_Green eyes._

Those should be easy tells because most people don't have colorful eyes. Not here anyways. In District Four though, that is a different story.

* * *

_"Do you think everyone here has green eyes?" I ask as Finnick and I walk down the beach._

_"You don't." Finnick points out keeping a safe distance from me. Still trying to prove his point that he should be staying away. That I shouldn't be his friend. "Yours are all about the blue." He smiles and I roll my eyes._

_"I know but, most of the hues remind me of the sea. Blue, green, gray. You rarely see any brown eyes here."_

_"Well… I guess District Four genes don't have that." He smiles that famous smile of his._

_"I wonder if it's like that in other Districts. Distinct features I mean." I say._

_Finnick looks at me like I'm stupid._

_"What?" I ask._

_He smiles and shakes his head_

_"You can usually tell by watching the Hunger Games. Although, redheads can be found within any District, they are all just rare."_

_"I guess I never realized but, then again I've never really been a mentor." I say and he nods. We stop walking. He picks up a rock and chucks it into the ocean._

_"Well pretty soon you won't forget." Finnick says flatly._

_"I know." I say not looking forward to mentoring._

_We stare at the sea for a few moments. The waves are nice and calm now. It's probably because it is low tide._

_Finnick finally breaks the silence._

_"My eyes are famous though, I've got that sea green." He says and rolls his eyes._

_"I'm sure every girl from the Capitol could ID them."_

_"Sadly that is correct. No hiding for me. Not even if I'm wearing a mask." He says and moves a few steps closer to me._

* * *

Green eyes. Is all I think.


	211. Chapter 211

**Chapter 211**

I want to look in every room again but start to feel dizzy. I was told I'm supposed to lie down because I probably have a high risk pregnancy due to the bleeding that happened earlier. I don't really care though. As bad as it may sound all I really care about right now is finding Finnick.

I trip on something and a nurses catches me before I can fall.

"Mrs. Odair maybe you should rest." The nurse says.

"But I need to see if Finnick is here." I say.

I can almost hear this girl groan.

"You need to rest, you're pregnant. You need to take care of yourself." She says.

"But I-"

"If we find out anything on Finnick we will come and get you right away." She says.

"Fine." I say.

"Make sure this one makes it back to her compartment." She says to one of the doctors or guards.

"Of course Madeline." He says and starts to lead me away. "Where do you live Mrs. Odair?" He asks.

"This way." I say. "I really think I'm fine though."

"You're supposed to be staying off your feet."

"How do you know this?" I ask confused.

"Every doctor in this place knows that you're pregnant." He says.

"I see." I say slightly annoyed.

We make a right turn.

"After you rest you should talk with your therapist, Dr. Ash."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because he might be able to help-"

"I don't need help. When I wake up I'm going to go back to the ICU so I can find Finnick." I say.

"Annie. What if there's no Finnick to find?" He says sadly.

"There is a Finnick to find." We are at my door. "Even if he is dead… his body is out there somewhere and I'm going to fucking find him." I say.

"Annie-" He starts but I just open my door and slam it shut.

I lean against the door with my eyes closed. I can feel tears about to fall.

"Where the hell were you?" I hear Johanna demand.

"In the hospital." I say and open my eyes. She looks genuinely concerned.

"I was just looking for Finnick." I say.

She rolls her eyes.

"I see." She says and hands me something. "Those are your pregnant vitamins. You're supposed to be taking those. You haven't been." She says annoyed.

I sigh.

I'm about to tell her that I'm sorry and I should be taking them, but she doesn't give me the chance.

"Jesus Christ Annie. I know I promised Finnick I would take care of you but I'm not going to do it for the rest of my god damn life. Especially if you don't seem to want it yourself. You need to take care of yourself." She looks me up and down. "Take those and lie down." She says and sits on the desk.

I stare at her in shock and confusion.

"Listen-" I start.

"I'm not going to leave until you lie down for an hour." She says.

"Johanna, if you don't want to be here then just leave." I say annoyed.

"I don't want to be here. But I, like everyone else here believes Finnick isn't here and that he isn't gonna come back."

I sit down and put my hands over my ears.

"Shut up!" I shout and rock back and forth.

"It's the truth Annie. Now, my promise to Finnick was vague but, as soon as we can leave this dump I'm not going to look after you. I'm just going to go home and remember this place in my rearview. You can't say the same though. Not just because you are… you know, but because Finnick won't be there anymore."

"Shut up!" I shout.

"He won't be there anymore and you'll just have a baby to replace him. Doesn't sound fair does it?" She says.

I pick up what is next to me and throw it at her.

"You don't know anything!" I shout.

"Annie, I'm just looking at this-"

"Get out of my room!" I shout like a teenager.

"Annie." She says annoyed.

"Leave! I don't want to see you anymore."

"But Finnick-"

"I don't care what he told you. It shouldn't matter to you anyways because you think he's dead." I say.

She doesn't say anything.

"Take those." She says and throws me the bottle of vitamins.

She looks me up and down and shakes her head.

"I would pity you but you're too fucking stupid." She says and opens the door.

"There's a fine line between faith and stupidity." I say.

She smirks and turns around.

"Well then, you always seem to be straddling both lines." She says and walks back in.

"I didn't say you could come back in." I say.

She rolls her eyes.

"Whatever Annie." She looks down at my wrist. She is probably looking at my mentally unstable bracelet. "The people here don't trust you Annie. They think you're insane."

"I'm-"

"Not insane like I think… like I tease-"

"Tease?" I say outraged.

"You know what I mean." She says and I breathe in and out deeply. "These people think you're fucking insane. I mean a padded room with white walls insane." She says.

"Why are you saying this?" I ask.

"Because, in a place like this you don't stand a chance." She says.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"They'd never let you mother a child." She says.

"Shut up!" I shout.

"I'm not trying to be mean."

"Just being realistic again?" I say angrily.

"Yes." She says matter of factly.

I look her up and down. I can tell she is telling the truth. Well, I can tell she believes this is true.

"I'm still going to be seeing you." She says.

"Wait." I say as she stands up.

She raises both eyebrows.

"You wouldn't let them…" I trail off thinking of what she said.

"I told Finnick I'd make sure to get you back to Four. Back to your Momma. After that... he said I could go back to Seven or wherever I wanted."

I look at her confused.

"What else did Finnick tell you?" I ask.

"A whole lotta shit. It wasn't all about you, so don't flatter yourself." She says and I roll my eyes. "I'm sure he told you most of it though."

I nod.

"Annie, I don't want you to fucking die and I don't want them to take your kid away."

"Do you really think we're going to be here for nine plus months?" I ask.

"I doubt it, but who knows."

I sigh.

"You should really lie down." She says gently.

I sigh and do. I roll over so I don't have to look at her.

"Does everyone really think he's dead." I whimper after awhile. I feel a tear fall onto the pillow.

"I don't know what everyone thinks." She says.

"What do you think?" I whisper.

"You know what I think Annie." She whispers and walks closer to me. She sits on the bed and I feel her rub my back. "I wish I didn't think like that but, maybe I'm too cynical. Maybe too much shit has happened to me. I don't know." She shrugs.

I move closer to the wall.

"But it doesn't really fucking matter what I or anyone else in this dump thinks. Because, it's fucking Finnick and if you think he's alive than he probably is. You're his wife. You're the person who would know. I mean fuck, you're the only person Finnick truly loves. You'll know. You will." She says.

I don't say anything back. I just draw circles on the sheets and cry quietly. I cry until I fall asleep and the whole time Johanna doesn't stop rubbing my back.6


	212. Chapter 212

**Chapter 212.**

I eventually fell asleep but, I was still crying. I don't think I stopped

When I woke up Johanna had left and I was all alone. I'm a little glad because of what we were yelling about. I'm a little hurt of what she said. Not that Finnick is dead, but because these people think I'm so insane, they would take away my newborn son.

I put my hand on my stomach.

"I won't let that happen baby." I whisper. But I also don't want to give into the theory that Finnick is gone, that he is dead.

I get up and feel dizzy so I lie back down. I wonder if this is normal. I wonder if I should go the hospital. I don't want anything to happen to the baby, my baby.

After I throw up and put my shoes on I head to the hospital.

I tell a doctor and they do an ultrasound. I can see the little baby growing inside me. They tell me it is okay, and this is perfectly normal. They also say I should be eating more. I haven't been eating much. I've just been worrying about Finnick.

I nod and stand up to head to the cafeteria. Lunch time is still going on so I can catch the end of that. I haven't even bothered to get my schedule for the past few days. No one has reported me so I guess they don't care.

I'm about to leave when I hear someone shout my name.

"Mrs. Odair! Mrs. Odair."

I close my eyes and sigh. Someone seeking me out in a hospital makes me nervous, because I know it is probably about Finnick.

I stop and turn around. I see it isn't a doctor but, a nurse and it isn't very comforting that she has blood on her pink scrubs.

She catches up to me and is breathing heavily.

"What?" I ask.

"I work in the Intensive Care Unit."

"Okay?" I say confused.

She is more composed now.

"I heard you were interested in patients eye color."

"Yes… green, because Finnick has green eyes." I say worried.

"Well, I and a few other nurses looked into it for you. We found out this." She says and hands me a chart that has all the 'abnormal' eye colors aka not brown. There aren't a lot but, I do notice there are only two unidentified males who have green eyes.

"Are all of these patients still alive?" I ask.

"A few of them died earlier today." She says.

"The ones with green eyes are they alive?" I ask worried.

She takes the paper from me.

"Yes although they are both in pretty bad shape. Trouble breathing, heart problems, and infections. The patient in room Q4B has been having more trouble. His infection is worse and he will probably need surgery for amputation so the infection doesn't spread-

"Are you going to tell this person?" I ask worried.

"If he gets woken up, he just starts screaming. He's in too much pain from the burns and other injuries. He wouldn't be able to comprehend what we were telling him." She says.

"What if this person is Finnick?" I ask. "Will he die?" I ask.

"Nothing is certain Annie." She says.

"But?" I ask because I can hear it in her voice.

"These patients aren't in the best conditions. Neither of them can really breathe on their own. For one of them they want to perform surgery. To help fix their lung but the doctors not going to because the chance of that person dying on the table is more likely."

"That's why they're in the ICU right? Because they are in bad conditions." I ask.

"Yes but, some patients have better luck than others." She looks towards the clock.

"I'm sorry Annie, but this is my break time and I wanted to get something to eat and possibly a nap." She says. I just now notice how tired she actually looks. Sunken in eyes and very pale. I wonder how long her shifts are. I wonder how long all of these peoples shifts are.

"Okay but, if I want to talk to you-" I start.

"My name is Molly. I live on the same floor you do. Three doors down from the right to be exact." She says. I wonder how she knows where I live.

"Okay." I say. She nods and then leaves.

I breathe in and out deeply. I turn to my left and see Katniss' friend Gale. He looks annoyed, maybe that is just his face. He was on Finnick's squad, maybe he knows what happened to him. He's the last person I would ask though. Gale seems like a total douche. I just turn around and leave.

I head to the cafeteria and sit at my assigned table. I eat the bland food and notice I am getting more stares than I usually am maybe, it's because I'm pregnant.

Elsa sits next to me and smiles.

"Hello Annie." She says.

"Hi." I whisper.

She nods and goes back to eating.

"You know they're staring because you're a victor." She whispers.

"What?" I ask confused.

She nods.

"There's rumors going around that all the victors get to make some grand decision." She says and looks at me expecting an answer.

"Interesting." Is all I say.

She nods. Elsa isn't one to pry or judge really and if she is, she's good at keeping her thoughts to herself.

I wonder if there is some plan or discussion all the victors are supposed to have. If there is I haven't been informed. I don't even know what happened in the Capitol battle. All I know is we won but that can mean many different things. Maybe I should stop worrying about Finnick for a minute and try to figure out what is happening around me.

I shake my head.

I can't do that. I think.

I stand up when I am finished and I start to head towards the ICU.

I talk to a nurse at the nurse station and show her the chart thing Molly gave me.

"I can take you to these patients if you wish Mrs. Odair." She says and I nod.

We walk in silence and I try to stare at the wall and not the translucent walls that show the badly hurt patients.

"Alright now, Annie these patients are badly injured-"

"All these patients are." I say confused.

She smiles.

"These are different patients all of the ones in this area are." She motions around. "We try to make them more... comfortable."

"These are the patients that are going to die, aren't they?" I ask. Why else would she say comfortable. I can tell they are giving all these people pain meds, but maybe these patients get more, so they don't hurt as much when they die.

"Not necessarily." She licks her lips. "But, statistically speaking it is more likely these patients will die." She says gently.

"So... even if I do find Finnick, he's just going to die." I say upset.

"I didn't say that." She says defensively.

I sigh.

"This is the first patient." She says and I look through the plexiglass.

"I don't remember coming here yesterday." I say confused.

"You probably didn't. You need special clearance to come in this hallway. There are only six patients here anyways."

I sigh again and we walk into the room.

The person -if I can call him that- is covered in bandages or gauze that is a light pink.

"Is that blood?" I ask worried.

"Some of it, but most of the gauze is used to keep the flesh intact and not get infected. His bandages get changed every three hours."

I nod.

This person has more than one IV in their arm and hands. They also have more than one tube shoved down their throat. I'm not even going to ask what they are for.

"You can get closer." She says. I wonder how long I was staring at this person.

I swallow hard and nod. I did come back here to find Finnick.

His eyes are closed but the nurse opens his lids. She said she was supposed to do a check soon anyways, to see if his pupils are still responding.

The eyes are green. A nice emerald green. They are too dark to be Finnick's but then again, due to the trauma that might have something to do with it.

"Can I touch him?" I whisper.

She nods unamused.

Most of his flesh is covered with gauze so it's not like I will be able to actually touch him. The gauze is hard and stiff. I wish I could actually touch this person.

I look down at his hands and see they aren't bandaged. Ironically their fingernails look spotless. They probably cleaned them.

I touch the hand, hold it really. His hand is warm and nice. At least it confirms this person is in fact alive. But the hands are too soft, they aren't damaged at all. Finnick's hands were full of callouses because of how many knots he tied while I was in the Capitol.

I let go of him. I hope somebody is looking for him as hard as I am for Finnick.

I look up at the nurse.

"It's not him." I say.

She nods and we stand up to leave his room.

"Goodbye." I whisper to him anyways as we leave.

"Once again, don't be alarmed when seeing this patient."

"The other one didn't look as bad." I say confused.

"This one is different." She says and we walk into the room.

She's right this patient is different. This room also smells. The patient however, looks worse. He has double the amount of equipment hooked up to him. He's very pale and you can also see every vein in his body.

"Blood poisoning?" I ask worried.

"No." She shakes her head. "It has to due with the blast and injury. We believe this patient was attacked with some type of animal… maybe one made from the Capitol. It could destroy nerves or something."

I nod.

"What happened to his eye?" I ask because I see a patch over it.

She walks closer to him probably so I can see. I see a deep cut start at the top of his eyebrow and go straight though the eyeball.

"The pupil is no longer responsive in that eye. He's blind in his left eye." She says.

"Oh." I whisper. Besides the veins and the eye patch he clearly has a broken nose…or face which is why you can't identify him.

She checks his right eye to see if his pupil is responsive and it is. She shows me the eye and it's green. It's a bright green with little flecks of gold in them.

I could touch almost all of this patient. I notice his right leg is bandaged strangely.

"There's an infection there. It might spread to the rest of the body soon. Specifically to the heart and lungs. He will have surgery tomorrow to make sure it can't spread any further." She says.

"You're going to cut it off?" I ask somewhere between surprise and repulse.

"That's correct, if we don't he might die."

I sigh. I guess they would know. It just doesn't seem right. They are handicapping this person without even getting his consent.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Get as close as you want." She says kindly.

I look at his hand too. I am a little repulsed by his skin. All those purple veins showing. It's like he's decomposing.

Still, I run my fingers over his hand and trace the every vein in his hand. His hands are also warm. It makes me smile because that means he is still alive,whoever he is.

I trace the veins all over his body until I get to his broken mauled face. I don't touch him there. He may be drugged up but, I get the feeling he can still feel what is going on around him.

I go and hold his hand. His warm hand but, it's not soft like the other mans. It's rough and warm. It feels familiar. I turn it over and trace the lines on his palm. The pads of his fingertips have terrible calluses. I look at the other one and it is the same. There are also calluses in between his fingers almost in a wrap around pattern.

I swallow hard.

I hear all these alarms start to go off.

"He's going into septic shock." The nurse says and presses a button on the wall and more nurses come in. It's like on a television show, except it's not at the same time because I'm pretty sure this is Finnick.

**A/N: Does anyone watch True Blood? (I have a point I promise) Well imagine this patient to look like Nora, with Hep V, when she is almost dead with the veins and stuff. Except this patient is worse because they are so disfigured that you can't tell who they are. The vein thing is what I was mainly going for. Anyways, thanks for reading all two hundred and twelve chapters :).**

**-Susan**


	213. Chapter 213

**Chapter 213**

I get pushed out of the way and soon out of the room. Maybe he's going to die. Maybe I'll never figure out if this actually is Finnick. Although, I have a sneaking suspicion that, this is Finnick. The way the calluses were formed on his hand is how Finnick holds a rope. Especially, when Finnick is making complex knots.

I don't look into the room and back away from it slightly. I don't want to see what they are doing to him.

These rooms remind me of the glass cells they held us in the Capitol. You could see right through them. You could see the terrible things that were happening to the prisoners.

However, this place is a different type of terrible. The patients here aren't getting tortured. Their bodies are injured, badly. The big difference between the two is, that the employees here are doing everything they can to keep the patients alive. But, all the wheezing and beeping reminds me of that place so much, it makes me want to scream.

"Mrs. Odair." I hear and feel a gentle pat on my shoulder. I jump. My cheeks are wet. I didn't even realize I was crying.

I wipe my face and turn towards her.

"The patient is stable again. You can see him if you wish." She says.

I don't move.

"Shouldn't he be left alone after almost dying and all?" I ask and turn towards her.

"I can assure you, he's fine. It's safe to visit with him again." She says.

"Can't you just wake them up and ask for the patients names?" I ask.

"Most are in comas. Even if they we woke them, it might be considered torture." She says.

I walk back into the room slowly. I look back at him and see all those veins on his body. Purple lines that cover his body, that make him look like he's decomposing. I also notice he has another tube in his arm.

I swallow hard.

"Wake him up." I say shocking myself.

"Did you not hear what I just said Mrs. Odair?" She asks baffled.

"I know… it's just… you're going to cut off his leg, I think you should at least try to tell him."

She sighs.

"I don't have that authority. I need to ask the doctor." She says and then leaves. I don't get closer. I really don't want to.

The nurse comes back in and she looks annoyed.

"When you hear him screaming that's on you Annie." She says and puts something in his IV. "It'll be a minute or two." She says and gets something else ready.

"What's that for?" I ask.

"To put him back under. Even if he doesn't scream right away. He will. He will probably last only a few minutes." She says.

I nod.

I start to see this persons body twitch and his right eye is fluttering open. His chin is trembling and his eye opens wide with the nurse can even say anything he start breathing heavily then screaming loudly.

She injects something into his IV again. The screaming starts to die down.

I walk towards the person.

"I'm sorry." I whisper that I did this to that person.

"And we." I make out.

"What?" I whisper mostly to myself.

"And knee." I make out and then he passes put.

_And knee?_ I think to myself.

He was probably just high off the medication.

"You make anything out?" The nurse says. She sounds pleased with herself. Probably because she knows she was right.

"And knee." I say.

She nods.

"He mutters this whenever he gets woken up. Especially when he first got here. He probably doesn't even know what he's saying." She says.

"Why would he repeat the same words?" I ask confused.

"Because he's confused."

"Or maybe he's trying to tell you something like, I dunno his name?" I say angrily.

"And what type of name is 'and knee'?" She says.

"Maybe Andy?" I say.

"That means it's not your Finnick." She says.

"Well it's someone." I say angered.

"Well then it's not Finnick." She says. "So you should leave." She says angered.

I don't say anything I just leave and head towards my room.

I plop down on my bed and in a few hours Johanna comes in. She doesn't even bother knocking.

"You take your vitamins?" She asks and I nod. "Good, then what's wrong?" She asks.

"Finnick's not in the hospital." I whimper. "He's not here."

She doesn't say anything. We sit in silence for hours.

"How do you know this?" She asks.

"I talked to all the patients with green eyes. Neither of them were him."

"They flat out said it?" She says.

"They were unconscious for the most part. With the first patient it was obvious it wasn't." I say and she nods. "The second patient I thought it was him. But, when the nurse woke him up, I think he was trying to say his name."

"Trying?" She says confused.

"He said 'and knee'. I think he meant Andy." I say.

We sit in silence again.

"What if it wasn't Annie?" She says surprising me, because this whole time she has thought Finnick is dead.

"What else would he be saying?" I ask still surprised.

"What if it wasn't Andy… what if it was Annie. What if he was saying your name? What if Finnick was trying to say your name." She says.


	214. Chapter 214

**Chapter 214**

I don't go back to the room where Finnick possibly is, because twenty minutes later Johanna and myself are ordered to a hovercraft that will lead us to the Capitol.

We finally get the run down of what happened. Basically we won after those parachutes Coin sent off to blow up all those innocent children in front of the presidential mansion. Coin is ruling Panem and Snow has been taken into custody. He is waiting for his trail and probably his death. Katniss is being kept in the mansion and the rest of the victors are being taken to the Capitol so we can make some grand decision.

"How many do you think are left?" I ask Johanna.

"I dunno, but we are about to find out." She says annoyed.

I don't talk anymore. I can tell she doesn't want to.

When we land we taken to a building and then get ushered to a room with a large table.

In the room is just myself, Johanna, and Peeta. But soon Beetee enters ,then Haymitch, then Enobaria. I want to yell at her but I don't really think it would do any good. Then finally Katniss shows up already in her mockingjay suit.

"What's this?" She is the first to ask.

"Not sure. It appears to be a gathering of the remaining victors." Haymitch says.

"We're all that's left?" Katniss says voicing my thoughts.

"The price of a celebrity." Beetee says and I roll my eyes. "We were targeted from both sides. The rebels killed those thought to be allied with the Capitol." He says which makes me feel sick.

"So what's she doing here?" Johanna asks and motions toward Enobaria. I must say, I'm curious as well because it is clear she would be allied with the Capitol.

"She is protected under what we call the Mockingjay Deal." Coin says while walking in. "Wherein Katniss Everdeen agrees to support the rebels in exchange for captured victors' immunity. Katniss has upheld her side of the bargain, and so shall we." Coin says. I think Katniss only cared about getting Peeta and possibly myself out of there.

"Don't look so smug, we'll kill you anyways." Johanna says to Enobarina.

"Sit down please, Katniss." Coin orders. Katniss sits next to me. I don't bother looking at her. I just stare at my hands on the table.

" I've asked you here to settle a debate. Today we will execute snow. In the previous weeks, hundreds of his accomplices in the oppression of Panam have been tried and now wait their own deaths. However, the suffering in the districts has been so extreme that these measures appear insufficient to the victims. In fact, many are calling for a complete annihilation of those who held Capitol citizenship. However, in the interest of maintaining a sustainable population we cannot afford this." Coin says. I wonder what she is getting at.

"So, an alternative has been placed on the table. Since my colleagues and I can come to no consensus, it has been agreed that we will let the victors decide. A majority of four will approve the plan. No one may abstain from the vote." She says. This is making me nervous. What do they want us to vote on?

"What has been proposed is that in lieu of eliminating the entire Capitol population, we have a final, symbolic Hunger Games, using the children directly related to those who held the most power." Coin says

"What?" Johanna says first.

"We hold another Hunger Games using Capital children." Coin says and I feel sick. Why would she even think this? Finnick was right, she is just as bad as Snow.

"Are you joking?" Peeta asks voicing my thoughts.

"No. I should also tell you that if we do these Games, it will be known it was done with your approval, although the individual breakdown of your votes will be kept secret for your own security." Coin says.

"Was this Plutrachs's idea?" Haymitch asks but I can tell he already knows the answer.

"It was mine." Coin says clearly proud of herself.

She's just as bad as Snow. Finnick's words keep ringing in my head.

"It seemed to balance the need for vengeance with the least loss of life."

"No!" Peeta shouts first. "I vote no of course! We can't have another Hunger Games!"

"Why not?" Johanna says. "It seems very fair to me. Snow even has a granddaughter. I vote yes." Johanna says. It surprises me a little but not much.

"So do I." Enobaria says surprising no one. "Let them have a taste of their own medicine."

"This is why we rebelled! Remember?" Peeta circles the table and then his eyes meet mine. Peeta already knows my answer and I'm sure the rest can guess. After all I went crazy because of this.

"I vote no with Peeta. So would Finnick if he were here." I say. I know he would. If he isn't dead and we do have another Hunger Games he would be outraged

"But he isn't here." Johanna adds.

I look back at my hands

"No. It would set a bad precedent. We have to stop viewing one another as enemies. At this point, unity is essential for our survival. No." Beetee says.

"We're down to Katniss and Haymitch." Coin says. Although, I'm pretty sure we all knew that.

It is silent while they think. It seems like forever before they speak.

"I vote yes… for Prim." Katniss says which startles me.

"Haymitch it's up to you." Coin says and we all turn to him.

Peeta slams his hands down on the table and tries to convince him but Haymtich is just looking at Katniss every calculated.

"I'm with the Mockingjay." Haymitch says.

Looks like there will be a 76th Hunger Games after all. I think to myself.

* * *

We get herded to City Circle because we have been informed that this will be Snow's execution.

I see Coin and Katniss talking. Then the doors open and they bring Snow out. They restrain him to a poll. However, I don't think it's necessary. Snow is like a rat trapped in a cage right now. He's surrounded.

You can hear shouts of approval from everyone around. They are all excited for what is about to happen.

I can't completely focus on what is going on knowing their will be a 76th Hunger Games. Knowing this is wrong. I don't understand why Katniss and Haymitch voted this way. I will never understand.

I focus more on what is going around me. I see Katniss point her arrow aiming right at Snow.

Katniss has a strange look on her face. Maybe she won't be able to do it or maybe she feels guilty for her choice. I don't know but, I do notice one thing. I notice the slight repositioning of her bow before she lets the arrow go.

The arrow misses Snow completely but that's because Snow wasn't her target. It was Coin, who is now dead in the middle of City Circle and I have a feeling this was no accident.

**A/N: Some of the dialogue was taken from Mockingjay so it doesn't belong to me. Thanks for reading!**

**-Susan **


	215. Chapter 215

**Chapter 215**

There is a huge commotion and the crowd is angry. Most people are coming after Katniss. She did just kill her leader.

Although, something else is going on with her because Peeta is trying to stop her from doing something.

"Katniss stop!" Peeta yells and now Haymitch is involved. He is holding Katniss as well.

I look to the crowd and see Snow is lying on the ground; dead. He must have been trampled.

I wonder who is going to run the country now.

Before I can move I see guards come over. Tey take Katniss away. She doesn't even fight them off. Maybe she killed Coin because she wanted this. Maybe she wants to die.

"Katniss." I whisper.

Before I can move I feel hands around me. I am being dragged somewhere.

"Stop!" I panic. "Stop! Let go of me!" I say and try to fight them but it doesn't matter. I know I shouldn't be too aggressive because I am pregnant.

When they stop dragging me I see I'm in the same room we all voted in. I see they have dragged the other victors here as well.

I look toward Peeta and see his hand is bleeding. It looks like there are bite marks.

"I think it is clear why all of you are here." One of Coin's personal guards says.

"We didn't have anything to do with this. Katniss worked alone." Johanna says annoyed.

_For Prim_. I think in my head.

_I'm with the mockingjay._

My eyes meet Haymitch's.

"Mrs. Odair you may be dismissed." He says abruptly.

"What will you do to the others?" I ask worried.

"That is none of your concern." I say.

I look at the man confused.

"But I-"

"Get out of here Annie." Haymitch says. Whatever is about to happen must be bad.

I look at Haymitch confused and leave the room, but that doesn't stop me from standing outside.

"Why did you have Annie leave?" Peeta asks defensively .

"Because she's crazy." Enobaria says.

"Then I should leave." Peeta says.

"You're the closest with the criminal and you also have a violent history. You loose control." The man says.

"So what? Will you kill us all? Leave Annie Cresta as the only Victor left?" Johanna laughs.

"No, but the people responsible will be put in a similar situation as Katniss right now."

"And what might that be?" Johanna asks.

I see guards coming so I start to leave. I don't know where I'm going. I don't really care either.

I start heading back to where the hovercraft dropped me off. Maybe, I can get this thing to take me back to 13.

* * *

I hear a knock on the door. I have been here for a few hours and haven't seen or heard a soul. I wonder what is happening. I wonder what they are doing to the other victors.

I open the door and see it is Haymitch.

I look at him confused.

"They are having one more meeting. It's about the 76th Hunger Games." He says.

I'm confused because we just had one of those.

"You knew didn't you?" I ask instead.

"Knew what?" He asks unamused.

"What Katniss planned. She was never going to kill Snow, it was Coin all along." I say.

"And people think you're stupid." He says.

"Did she really just kill Coin for Prim?"

"That was probably the main reason. She figured out that Coin made an unnecessary attack. The one that killed her sister."

"So it was just vengeance?" I ask.

"She probably saw it."

"Saw what?" I ask.

"You know what. I never fully trusted Coin, there was just something about her." Haymitch shakes his head. "Finnick voiced his thought process from the beginning. That Coin was just like Snow, she just had a different goal in mind. One that benefited us. Finnick knew Snow better than most people Annie. He spent lots of time with him over the years. He knows how Snow thinks. So Finnick is one of the few people who I believe has a right to say that." Haymitch says.

"He told me he thought Coin was worse than Snow." I say.

"Well he never voiced that to me, but I believe you." Haymitch says. "We have a meeting to get to." He says and we leave the room.

"Why are we having another meeting about the Hunger Games?" I ask.

"This one was called by Plutarch."

"Great." I mutter."

"We can trust him more." He says.

"I'm sure we can." I say.

"Finnick trusted him… for the most part." Haymitch says.

"Just because Finnick trusted him doesn't mean I do." I say.

"This is true." Haymitch says.

"What did they do to everyone else?" I ask worried.

"They just asked us questions. They didn't really do anything."

"What about Katniss?" I ask.

"I convinced Plutarch to plead a case of insanity due to her sisters death." He says.

"How can they prove that?" I ask.

"Solitary confinement." He says.

"That will drive even the sanest person insane." I say remembering when Snow locked me up after Finnick tried to kill himself.

"I know." He says. He sounds pleased.

"You did it so they wouldn't kill her." I say a little surprised.

"Yes." He says.

"What would your vote really have been?" I ask curious.

"I don't want anyone else to turn into a drunken mess. It would've been no."

"How could you tell Katniss was going to-"

"Because her and I aren't that different. I know her." Is all he says and then pushes open the door to the room.

Plutarch is in the room this time and he discusses how the idea of a 76th Hunger Games was under clouded judgement and that peace and order will be kept without the slaughtering of children. He also stated that there was now a tie, due to the fact of Katniss' insanity plea, so he gets to make the final decision, which thankfully is no 76th Hunger Games.

I don't think he is the new leader of Panem. I don't think anyone knows who is. Thankfully that is not my decision.

We then get taken to hovercrafts. Plutarch says they can take us wherever we want. He says they will take us home if we wish, but I don't want to go home. Not yet. I need to go back to thirteen. Not because of that patient but, because I have a few things I left there that are worth keeping. My wedding dress, the locket Finnick gave me, my sketchbook, and a picture Cressida later gave Finnick and myself. It's a picture from our wedding.

"Why are you going back to 13?" Peeta asks me. He didn't want to go back to13 but, he was ordered by whom I don't know. However, I don't think they are going to lock him up.

"I have some things there I want to take home." I say and he nods.

"Johanna told me you were looking for Finnick in the hospital still."

I nod.

"Do you really think he's alive?" He asks after awhile.

I swallow hard.

"There's only one patient I think could be Finnick. This man looks terrible though." I say."Even if it is Finnick he still might die."

Peeta nods. He probably doesn't know what to say.

The hovercraft lands and I head straight to the hospital. There's buzzing and chaos of everything that happened with Coin.

I keep my face down hoping people don't think I had something to do with it because I didn't.

I get to the hospital and find the bed empty.

"Molly." I say remembering the nurse who told me about the green eyed patients.

"Yes?" She asks.

"Was this person moved?" I ask worried. If he wasn't, that must mean he is dead.

"Yes, he just got out of surgery." She says happily.

"So they cut off his leg?" I ask.

She nods.

"He seems okay. They actually wanted to see if you were here."

"Why?" I ask confused.

"Because the patient is so drugged they might be able to talk to him."

"Take me there." I say and she does.

I see a doctor and two nurses in the room.

"Here's Mrs. Odair." Molly says to the room.

The doctor nods.

"He's just been brought out of surgery. He'll be able to be awake for a little because of all the pain meds."

"I see." I say.

I notice his right leg is now bandaged all up. He is missing his limb from the knee down. Only some of his thigh is left. The veins there look worse, but I'm assuming that is from the surgery.

I hear a groan like moan and then he opens his eyes.

I'm afraid he is going to scream like before, but he doesn't. However, it is clear he is in la la land right now.

He opens his mouth to speak.

The first words he doesn't say are 'Where am I?' or 'Who are you?' or even 'Water.' The first thing this man says is. "You're so pretty." And he's looking right at me as he says it.


	216. Chapter 216

**Chapter 216.**

"Sir we were wondering if you could tell us your name." The doctor asks.

"She's so pretty." He says again.

"Mrs. Odair maybe you should-"

"Mrs. Odair." The patient smiles. "With hair so fair. Who's standing right there."

"He's high as a kite." I say.

"He's on three different pain medications." The doctor says and sighs. "Sir, you're in the hospital and cannot be identified can you tell us your name? Or anything about yourself?" The doctor says.

"Why don't you just ask her?" The patient says and motions towards me.

"Well-" I say confused.

"Because she has hair so fair and because she's right over there-"

"Sir-" The doctor says annoyed. He clearly didn't think this through. Trying to talk to someone who is this drugged up is pretty hard. At least the patient doesn't seem to be in pain.

"She's the prettiest girl in here and not because her name is Mrs. Odair."

I smile.

That idiot. I think. This person does remind me of Finnick but anyone this high probably could.

"Sir-"

"She's Mrs. Odair and that makes me Mr. Odair who also has hair so fair." I don't have the heart to tell him this ,but most of his hair is gone. He has some but it is splotches all over mostly. His hair is the least of his worries though.

"Are you saying your name is Finnick Odair?" The doctor asks.

I don't need him to answer. I know this babbling person is Finnick.

"Yes and that's Annie but I prefer Mrs. Odair." He says.

"Oh my god." I say even though I knew it was him once he started calling me Mrs. Odair it wasn't a hundred percent official yet, but now it is.

I rush over to hug him.

"I can't even feel you." Finnick says and laughs.

"It's from the anesthetic." The doctor says but I don't care.

"Oh my god. Finnick you're alive."

"Course I am." He says.

"Oh my god." I say and kiss his cheek. "Everyone thought you were dead."

"I'm not." He says.

Finnick starts laughing, probably from the drugs.

"We're going to put him back under now Annie." The doctor says.

"But-" I say worried

"He needs to rest still. He'll be in some pain." The doctor says. "We only did this to try and figure out who this man was. Now we know."

I sigh.

I don't want them to put him under but I know they have to.

"Finnick I love you so much." I say. "And I have something wonderful I need to tell you." I say.

Finnick just smiles.

"Okay." He says.

I kiss his forehead.

"I love you." I whisper.

"Love you." Finnick says back, mutters really. I just now notice they injected sleep juice into him.

* * *

I was ordered back to my compartment after I found out it was Finnick. Apparently, people just getting out of surgery need to be left alone. However, I don't believe that is true.

I did put up a fight but eventually knew it was useless and left. I don't really have anyone left to talk to here. But I can't stop smiling because I now know Finnick is in fact alive. For now at least.

I head down to the ICU and meet up with the doctor.

"Can I see him?" I ask.

"Yes, he's awake no actually. It's just we haven't gotten him to say anything." The doctor explains.

"I was talking to him yesterday. He was drugged off his mind but..."

"Well today he can't seem to focus on anything. We think he might have brain damage."

"Brain damage?" I say worried. "What do you want me to do?" I ask worried and confused.

"Just sit with him. Try and get him to talk." He says and walks me into the room.

"Hello Finnick." The doctor says but Finnick is just staring off into space. "I brought down Annie. She wanted to see you and I know you want to see her." The doctor says, still nothing.

The doctor looks at me and nods. He leaves the room and I head to the chair next to Finnick.

"Hi." I whisper and sit down. "I love you." I swallow hard. "I looked for you because I knew you were alive. I love you so much Finnick." I say and hold his hand. I feel his muscles jerk and I'm worried that I should let go.

I stare at Finnick and kiss his cheek but he doesn't even move.

"I love you." I say again. I don't really know what to say. Even after Marci died and he wouldn't talk I still felt strange talking to him. It's hard when he doesn't answer back. However, I do know one thing I want to tell him even if he doesn't respond.

"Finnick after you left I found out something great." I say and start drawing small circles on his hand. "I found out I was pregnant. It's your kid too. It's _our_ kid." I smile. "I was worried it was one of the monsters but it's yours. I uh-" Finnick starts flinching and I notice his heartbeat monitor is going up. "Finnick." I say gently. He doesn't respond and starts having a seizure.

"Finnick!" I shout worried and scared. A nurse comes into the room and injects him with something then he passes out quickly.

"Does this mean he has brain damage?" I ask worried.

"His brain waves were reacting to what you were saying. He understood or at least comprehended it." She says.

She looks down at him.

"He's going to need new sheets." She says and I look at her confused. "He urinated himself. It's common when having a seizure. You loose control of your muscles."

"Are you just going to get him a new bed? All this equipment-"

"We're taking good care of him Mrs. Odair. Don't worry."

"Then what else would I do with my free time?" I ask and she smiles.

They take care of Finnick and then leave me alone with him. He's still passed out. The nurse said the meds would wear off soon.

"Finnick." I whisper and hold his hand

I look down at him and smile.

I remember the first time I was in the hospital with Finnick except I was the one in the bed and I was just getting to know Finnick. Well, he was just starting to show who he was to me.

* * *

_"There's my tribute." I hear Finnick smile as he walks in here._

_I roll on my side, I hate that he reminds me of this whenever he sees me. At least he isn't saying victor._

_He sits down on the chair next to me._

_"How are you feeling today Annie?" He asks more composed._

_I don't respond I don't want to._

_He sighs_

_"Annie please. I said I'd never leave you alone, so I think you'll have to talk with me at some point. The rest of our lives together-"_

_"Shut up Finnick." I mutter._

_"Your voice still sounds hoarse maybe I should have a doctor-"_

_"I don't need any cosmetic surgeries." I say and roll over so I can look at him. _

_"Alright I was just asking." He smiles. He looks worried. I wonder what he is doing when he is not here. I wonder what he is thinking right now._

_We sit in silence._

_"I won't let them do anything to you Annie. I care what happens to you." _

_"Thanks." I whisper believing him._

_We sit in silence again._

_"How are you really?" He asks._

_"I want to go home." I whimper._

_"You will soon." He smiles._

_"Not soon enough." I whisper._

_"Probably but, since we won't be there soon enough tell me what you love about home so much?" He asks and I smile._

_I love lots of things about home. The smell of salt that always lingers in the air. The sound of waves crashing. All of the town events. My mother. Lana. The sand between my tones._

_When I was little my Mom and Dad would always take me to the beach when I was upset. We would walk on the beach and make sandcastles. We didn't go in the water, we just played in the sand. I don't think I will ever like going in water again so I guess sandcastles are the best thing for me now._

_"Sandcastles." I whisper. _

_He scoffs._

_"Fine, it doesn't matter." I say angrily._

_He shakes his head._

_"Alright, I'll bite. Why do you like sandcastles so much?" He asks with a smile._

_I sigh._

_"I really want to make a sandcastle because it is always really calming. Maybe it is the sound of waves or maybe I just like the feeling of the sand between my fingers." I whisper._

_He smiles._

_"I see. Well I guess I should try and make it happen." He says._

_"What?" I ask confused_

_"I'll try and find you some sand." He says and stands up._

_"Finnick wait." I say and he smiles. _

_"What?" He asks amused._

_"Don't leave yet." I swallow hard. "I don't want to be alone here." I whisper._

_He sits back down and I reach for his hand to hold. He takes it gently._

_"Then I won't leave until you want me to go." He smiles and I smile too._

_"Just don't be a self entitled ego manic."_

_"Such a hard request." He smiles._

_"Finnick." I say annyoed._

_He smiles and squeezes my hand._

_"I'll try." He says in that gentle kind voice when I can tell he is telling the truth._

_"Promise?" I say._

_"Promise." He says back._

* * *

"Promise." I whisper and caress his face.

Finnick's eyes slowly open, maybe he heard me.

He doesn't say anything he just starts coughing.

"My head hurts." He mutters and moves his free hand to the back of his head.

"You had a seizure that's probably why." I say gently.

Finnick flinches away, maybe he didn't realize I was here. Although, I'm only inches from him.

"What's wrong with me? Where am I? What happened to me? Those lizards?" He's starting to panic.

"Finnick, Finnick, look at me." I say and put both hands on his cheeks. "Just look at my eyes. Just look at my eyes. You sometimes say they're as blue as the ocean. Just look at them and relax." I whisper. He still looks frightened.

He then pulls me in for a hug but winces probably from pain. One hand scrunches my hair while the other grips my shirt.

"You're okay." I whisper.

"I love you." He says and I think he's crying.

"I love you too. So much." I whisper.

He just keeps crying.

"It hurts." He says and sniffs. He clears his throat, probably from phlegm.

"I know but you're hurt baby." I whisper. I hate these cute words but I know Finnick likes them. When he was sick from almost dying before I pulled out the cutesy names: sweetie, baby, honey. Finnick loves them. They make him feel better for some reason I don't understand.

"It hurts to cry." He says and clears his throat again. He grabs his drinking water bottle and spits into it. It's a lot of phlegm. A lot.

I hit the call button so he can get more water. I don't think he should be drinking phlegm tainted water.

"How can I help you?" A nurse says through the intercom

"He needs more water." I say.

"Okay I'll be right there." She says and the line goes dead.

"What was that?" Finnick asks.

"You're in the hospital Finnick. That was a nurse. She is going to get more water so you don't have to drink phlegm."

"Oh." He nods and looks down and sees his hand. "What's wrong with my hand?! What's wrong with my arm?!" He says and traces the veins that are still very visible.

"Sweetie that's just because you're sick." I'm surprised he didn't say anything about his eye or leg. Maybe he can't feel it yet.

"I've never seen anything like this? It looks like I'm dying. Am I dying Annie?" He asks worried.

"They-"

"I don't want to die." He whimpers. "I need to stay with you Annie." He sniffles. He's starting to panic again.

I hug him.

"You're not dying Finnick."

"I look like I am." He whimpers and starts to play with my hair.

"You're not."

"Then why do I look like this?" He whimpers.

"I don't know. They wanted to ask you some questions about what happened to you, so they might be able to figure it out. They have a feeling what it might be from talking with Peeta. They think it might be a side affect from a mutt-"

"Stop talking!" He shouts. "Don't talk about it!"

"I'm-"

Katnisssss! Katnissss!" He shouts.

"Finnick you're okay here." I say and rub his back

"I don't want to die." He whimpers.

"You're not going to, not soon anyways." I say.

"I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Lizards. Katniss. Katniss. Kantiss." He says.

"Katniss isn't here sweetie." I say confused. She's still in solitary confinement.

"But they're looking for her. They're looking for her!" He shouts.

"Finnick." The door opens. I see it is the nurse with the water but I also see one of those syringes in her hand. She's going to knock him out because he's panicking.

"They're not going to stop until they find her! They're not going to stop." He says.

"Finnick you're not going to get attacked here.

The nurse sets the water down and fills the syringe.

"Do you have to knock him out?" I try and say so Finnick won't hear.

"Don't let them touch me. Please!" Finnick begs.

"You're okay sweetie." I say and caress his face.

"Just don't let her touch me!" He sobs. He motions towards me to get closer. "She looks like a lizard." He whimpers.

"Finnick-"

"Just give her Katniss and everyone will be fine. She's only after Katniss, no one else has to die."

"Finnick-"

"He's having hallucinations. Annie I think it would be for the best-"

"No!" He sobs. "Don't let it touch me. Please Annie." He sobs.

I hug him and then nod to the nurse to do it.

"She isn't going to hurt you." I whisper and kiss his cheek.

"No- I laisards." He mumbles and then goes stiff.

"I think we should talk to Peeta again." She says.

"You've been through this story with him more than enough." I say confused.

"It doesn't hurt to ask again. It's not like we can ask Katniss." She says. I don't think Katniss would even be allowed back here.

"Whatever." I say. She leaves the room and it is just myself and a passed out Finnick

"What happened to you there?" I whisper and kiss his forehead. "What happened to you there?" I whisper again. I don't know if I'll ever get that answer, and right now I don't think it's the right string to pull on.


	217. Chapter 217

**Chapter 217**

They don't get Katinss to come which isn't a surprise but they do bring Peeta. This isn't necessary he is just going to say the same story. That the last he saw of Finnick was in the sewers being attacked by those lizard mutts.

Peeta smiles at me. He looks good still banged up but good.

"Hi Annie." He says.

"Hi Peeta." I say. I want to say more but am cut off.

"We would like to know what happened to you there-" The doctor starts and Peeta sighs.

"I've already told you what I know, we were attacked."

"He wants to kill Katniss." The nurse says. Although, I don't think many would care… she did kill their leader.

Peeta looks at me for confirmation.

"That's being a bit over dramatic. All he said was if she would go to the lizards less people would die. He didn't say he was going to kill her." I say annoyed.

"Considering what happened to him-" The doctor starts.

"It was clear that those lizard mutts did only want Katniss, which is why they shouted her name in the tunnels. They were designed to go after Katniss. The mutts probably would've gone away if she went with them or died. However, we don't know that." Peeta defends.

"Well maybe what happened to you-"

"He's not crazy. They didn't warp his mind. It's probably PTSD. He could've even reacted this way when he first got out of the arena, but we don't know that. I don't even remember, I wasn't even old enough for the reaping." Peeta says.

"I don't know, maybe he should be left alone." The doctor says.

"You're going to have to forcibly remove me before I leave Finnick's side." I say and push hair from Finnick's eye. "I'm not leaving him again." I whisper and kiss his forehead.

"Fine but, we're going to show him a picture of Katniss when he wakes up." The doctor says and leaves. I don't think that will do anything to him.

It's just Peeta and me in the room now.

"I would ask how he is, but that seems a bit stupid." Peeta says.

"I can talk to him now." I say and smile. "And I know he's alive." I say and kiss Finnick's cheek.

Peeta smiles.

"He doesn't want to kill Katniss." Peeta says reassuring me.

"I know." I say.

"Katniss and the lizards mutts are probably the last thing he remembers. It makes sense for him to feel what he is."

I nod.

"I know." I say. I move Finnick's hand to my cheek. "I love him so much." I say and kiss his hand.

I swallow hard.

"I know you do." Peeta says.

"Peeta?" I ask.

"Yes?" He says.

"Why are they keeping you here still?" I ask.

"That I have no idea. Maybe to make me speak with my therapist. I don't think there are any in twelve." He says and I nod.

"They showed me what it looks like now." He clears his throat. "They told me my family was dead. I don't really have anything left to go back to."

"You have Katniss." I say.

He rubs the back of his neck.

"If she doesn't get sentenced to her death. Besides, I still have problems." He says and I nod.

I clear my throat.

"Can I ask you something personal?" I ask.

"I don't see why not, people have since I've gotten here." He smiles.

"I know you lost your leg from your Hunter Games… I was just wondering... how long it took you to get used to it." I says

"I don't think I'll ever get used to it Annie. I mean... a part of my body is no longer there. But it did get easier to use the prosthetic if that is what you meant. You saw me in the arena." He says and I nod. He seemed okay he could even run a bit so he must be fairly used to it.

"What types did they have?" I ask.

"What of artificials?" He asks and I nod.

"Pretty standard stuff m, but they had a few that were too Capitol for my taste. They already took my leg…. I didn't want to be reminded of that."

"What do you mean too Capitol?" I ask.

"They have these ones that are metal… they hook it up to your nervous system so it is like a real leg. You can move the toes and everything. However, the person who had it and explained it to me said it was lighter than any other body part. She said when she first got it she felt lopsided. However, I think that is just normal. Same with it being hard to walk. She said the worst part wasn't learning now to use it. She thought the worst part was the surgery. You have to be awake so they know they attached it to the nerves correctly apparently, you can feel it all."

I nod.

Peeta smiles.

"Finnick will be okay. He's a strong person." Peeta says.

"I know he is but, he still doesn't know and not about his eye either. He just saw his skin and got so worried. He must be on so many pain meds that he can't feel it. Either that or he wasn't awake long enough."

I say and Peeta nods.

I look down at Finnick and kiss his hand.

"I think I want to be alone with him Peeta." I say nicely.

"I understand. I'll catch you around Annie." He says and leaves.

"I love you." I whisper to Finnick. I can feel a tear drop onto my hand. I kiss the his cheek and just stare at him. I love him so much.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Molly, Finnick's nurse, comes in an hour.

"I'm here to change his dressings." She says and I nod.

"Why can't you be his nurse all the time?" I ask. She is the one I like most. I think it is because she helped me find Finnick.

She smiles.

"Because I can't work 24/7."

She starts to his bandages.

"He's still knocked out." I say not knowing if that matters.

"He's probably sleeping now. I hope I don't wake him. I hate waking up patients. Especially, in this condition." She says.

I nod.

She starts with his eye and changes the gauze. His eye is closed so I can't really see the damage but I do remember when I first got shown. How you can see the scratch on his pupil.

"We'll fit him for a glass eye later." She says.

I nod and hold Finnick's hand.

I notice he starts flinching. He is either having a nightmare or he is about to wake up.

He grips my hand tightly and opens his eyes.

He backs away. If someone was that close I think anyone would.

"I'm just changing your bandages."

Molly says in a calming tone.

"What else did you do?" He asks alarmed.

"Nothing." She says confused but still gentle.

He picks up his hand and waves it in front of his face.

"I can't see." He says.

Maybe he didn't realize it before because of the bandages. He probably assumed that was messing with his vision which isn't stupid.

"I can't see." He says panicked.

"At all?" Molly asks worried.

"No just in this eye." He says and points to the left.

"They didn't tell you." She says angered. This must mean she is going to have to tell him. I also get the feeling she will tell him about his leg. The doctor should've but, I guess he had better things to do.

"Your eye got badly damaged. Most of the cells in it died because of the deep gash you have around and in your eye. You aren't able to see out of your left eye anymore." She says gently.

"What?" He asks panicked and moves to a sitting position but winces from the pain.

"Finnick you should stay lying down."

Molly says.

But Finnick doesn't care he just looks panicked.

"What happened to my leg? Is it just asleep? I can't feel it all." He says.

"You had a terrible infection, one we thought would lead to your heart and lungs. The doctors felt that if we got rid of the source before it started to spread-"

"You cut off my leg!" He shouts.

"Finnick it's okay." I say and kiss his cheek.

"No it's not!" He shouts and pushes me away. "You didn't even ask!"

"You were in too much pain and in such a critical state. Annie tried to but, you just started screaming."

"You should've tried harder."

"Finnick-" I start

"Shut up!" He shouts at me.

"We have great recovery and therapy here Finnick. You also have your pick at different prosthetics your doctor is recommending-"

"I don't care. Just leave me alone." He whimpers.

"I have to finish this Finnick. We can't risk an infection and it will only take a few minutes-"

"Leave me alone." He says.

"I'll come back in a few minutes." She says gently and puts the new bandage on his eye.

"Would you really have said no?" I ask gently.

"I don't know." He says. "I would've liked to know I was being disfigured." He says annoyed.

"Finnick-"

"It's ironic isn't it?" He asks and laughs.

"What?" I ask confused.

"That everyone wanted Finnick Odair the pretty boy but now he doesn't even exist. Disgusting skin, blind eye, and one leg. There wouldn't be a pretty Finnick left to buy." He says.

"Isn't that a good thing? I mean pretty boy Finnick Odair, was a total asshole." He says.

"Nobody wants me." He sniffs.

"I do." I say and kiss his cheek. "I want you."

"You'll be the only one. Everyone else will point and stare and wonder what happened to that guy."

"Finnick the veins might go away." I say.

"Still I'n disfigured. Only one person in the whole world." He says angered.

"All you need is one person Finnick." I say gently. "Besides, I think it will be at least two people." I say. I don't think he remembers me telling him I was pregnant. He did have a seizure right after.

"I don't think my Grandmother counts, if she is even alive."

"I didn't mean her." I say.

"Your Mom doesn't count either." He says angry.

"Not her either." He looks at me confuse.

"Then who?" He asks confused and annoyed.

"Finnick I'm pregnant." I say.

He turns towards me confused.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

I nod.

"I've had lots of check ups, they're sure." I say.

"Are you sure-" He starts thinking what I first did, that it was one of those monsters and not his.

"It's yours. The estimated conception date was when I was here in 13."

"Why didn't you tell me as soon as I was awake?" He asks confused and slightly angry.

"I did tell you, but then you started seizing." I say.

"I must have been really excited then." He smiles but then winces because it must hurt. Which is understandable. His face is still bruised, burned, and cut up. I can barely tell I'm speaking with him.

I smile.

"So it would seem." I say.

He reaches his hand and places it on my stomach. I'm not really showing.

The only thing I would say is different is that my breasts are staring to get bigger and the sickness. But with everything with Finnick the sickness has to seemed gone away.

"Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?"

He asks excited.

"It's still too early." I say. He has that happy gleam in his eye, one I thought I would never see again.

It looks like right now even though he found out some devastating news, he seems to be alright; happy even. But that could just be because he found out he was going to be a Daddy. Either way, normal easy going Finnick is still in there. I just hope he stays.


	218. Chapter 218

**Chapter 218**

Peeta told them more in detail of what happened. Although, it is pretty much the same thing. He has been telling them.

Peeta wasn't exactly stable either. They shouldn't make him talk about this stuff because it is obviously upsetting him too.

The doctors are basically testing everything. I think this is because Finnick keeps having seizures. He spends more time unconscious. It makes me worry. I don't think I should let Finnick know that because he will only worry more.

They haven't even shown him what he looks line yet. The doctor started talking about facial reconstruction surgery but said it wasn't necessary at this point in time but might be later.

"Finnick?" I whisper and run my hand over his arm.

"Yeah?" He asks tired. They put him back on more meds. They're trying to control his seizure issue but they haven't found the right amount yet, so he is pretty much high all the time.

I kiss his cheek.

"I won't be here for a little bit first thing tomorrow because I have to see the doctor." I say.

I'm not allowed to sleep here. They make me go back to my compartment and that is the only time I'm there. It's not just me who can't sleep there, it's hospital policy. I can see the look in all the vistors eyes when we are ordered to leave disappointment, worry, and anger. Anger that we can't stay with our loved ones.

Finnick wraps his hand around my arm.

"Please don't." He whimpers.

"Finnick I need to. I need to make sure baby and I are okay." I say and kiss his cheek.

"I'm going to miss you." He whispers.

"I'll only be here a little less." I say.

"I wish I could go with you." He says almost inaudible. Maybe he didn't want me to hear.

"I know." I say. I know he wants to be there for everything in my pregnancy but he can't because he is basically restrained to a bed. He doesn't even leave it to go to the bathroom.

Finnick nods and yawns.

"You tired sweetie?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"Last time I fell asleep, I woke up in the middle of the night and you weren't here. I have to stay awake when you're here."

"Finnick you need to rest." I say.

"I want to be with you more." He says.

I nod.

"I do too." I whisper.

He holds my hand and runs his thumb up and down.

The door opens and I see it is Molly.

"I need to change some things around." She says and comes closer to him.

She changes his dressings, is IV tubes and gets him new stickers for all the attachments.

"I need to take some blood." She says gently.

Of course they do, it seems they take some everyday.

Finnick nods.

It's easy for them to do because they can see every vein in his body.

Finnick's grasp tightens around my hand.

"Slight pinch." Molly says as she sticks him.

"You're okay." I say and kiss his forehead and he relaxes slightly.

She takes at least five vials. She then injects him with something to help his blood levels or something. She places a cotton ball and bandaid on his arm and takes off her gloves.

"Be right back." She tells us and leaves.

"Annie." He whispers.

"Don't worry baby she's not gonna hurt you." I say.

He nods.

"I love you." He whispers.

I nod and Molly comes back.

"Finnick the doctor has suggested a type of proceeder we should preform on you. He thinks it might help figure out what is causing your veins to become so prominent."

"What are you going to do to me?" He asks worried.

"We are going to take the top layer of your skin. Just a small patch-"

"No." He says.

"It's nothing serious we can do it in this room."

"I don't care." Finnick says.

"It will heal and it might benefit greatly. We have a few people who are more accustomed to mutt attacks looking into your case-"

Finnick sighs deeply and looks at his heart monitor. He isn't listening any longer so I do instead.

"You mean people from the Capitol?" I ask.

She nods.

"Plutarch himself volunteered to help. He had his hand in mutt making before." She says. She sounds uncomfortable.

I nod. I'm not that shocked. He was a head gamemaker and even though he is on our side he does have to act the part.

"I think it's-"

"If I don't let you cut into me will I die?" Finnick asks abruptly.

"All they said is it might help. It won't hurt to test it." Molly says.

Finnick turns towards me.

"I think you should." I say knowing what he wants to ask. "She said it wasn't dangerous and it will heal."

"It might leave a scar though." Molly says.

"Like I don't have any of those." Finnick mutters to himself. He sighs deeply. "Okay." He says.

"I'll have you sigh something and we can do it tomorrow." She says and leaves.

"What if this doesn't help?" He asks me softly.

"Then they try something else." I say.

"Annie I think I'm dying." He whimpers.

"You're not-"

"Look at me. They don't even know what is wrong." He closes his eye and I see a tear dribble out. "When that is the case people usually die."

I lean in and hug Finnick.

"That's not going to happen." I whisper.

"Annie-"

"Shhh." I say. "You should go to sleep." I whisper.

"But-"

"You're tired baby. Go to sleep." I say.

"Just wake me to say goodbye." He says.

"Okay." I say not really meaning it. I don't want to wake him.

"I mean it Annie." He says intensely.

"Okay." I say and kiss his forehead.

He gets in a more comfortable position. With all those tubes hooked up to him it's probably hard to sleep because something might fall out.

"Love you." He whimpers.

"Love you too." I say and he holds my hand. He holds it until he falls asleep.

I get told to leave soon and gently shake him.

"Sweetie." I say.

"Mmmmh." He moans loudly.

"Finnick." I say.

"Annie?" He slurs.

"I'm leaving." I say and he looks alert. "I'll be here tomorrow." I say.

"First thing?" He asks.

"No, I have to go to the doctors. Baby and me do." I say and kiss his forehead.

"Okay." He says disappointed.

"I love you." I say and kiss him.

"I love you too." He says.

"Go back to sleep sweetie." I say.

"Okay." He says and closes his eyes.

I walk back to my compartment and lie down on my bed. I do what I have done every night. I put on my pajamas, snuggle under the covers, and cry.

I can't cry in front of Finnick, even though most of the time I want to. I know if I start crying that will just make him upset which he doesn't deserve. Not now or ever.

* * *

I head down to the ICU with ultra sound pictures in my hand.

I found out it was a boy today, and all I was thinking about was Finnick. I can't wait to tell and show him.

I walk into his room and see he is sleeping. I also see a new bandage.

_They did it without me._ I think to myself.

I know Finnick would've wanted me here, when they cut some of his flesh off. Why didn't they just wait for me?

I sit down on the chair next to him and just watch him. It doesn't take me long to figure out he isn't sleeping. He's been knocked out.

I hear the door open.

"Annie." Molly says.

"You did it without me." I tell her angrily.

"The doctor insisted." She says and I sigh.

"They found something out though." She says.

"What?" I ask hopeful.

"The lizard mutts apparently have some type of venom in their teeth."

"Okay." I say.

"This explains why his veins are all visible." She says.

"Okay." I say.

"We believe the infection in his leg was from the poison. He had the most bite marks there."

"But-"

"Don't worry he's not infected like that anywhere else." She says and I nod.

"The doctors don't think the veins are a bad thing. Someone who is more familiar with mutts says it is probably just a reaction and nothing harmless." She says.

"Okay."

"This suggests that they won't go away. Which means he might look like this forever." She says.

"Did you figure anything else out? Why he keeps having seizures?" I ask. I don't care what Finnick will look like for the rest of his life, I just want him to be here for the rest of my life.

"Not yet." She says.

"Will you?" I ask.

"We're doing all we can Annie." She says gently.

"I see." I whisper.

"Finnick is still in pretty bad shape but the doctor wants to talk to Finnick about prosthetics-"

"Is that a number one priority?" I ask.

"No." She says.

"Then it can wait." I say knowing Finnick isn't ready for that conversation yet.

* * *

Finnick's eyes flutter open.

"Hi sweetie." I say and he smiles.

"Annie." He whispers.

"You're okay." I say.

"You're here." He says and smiles.

"I'm here." I smile back.

"You weren't here when they cut into me though…" He says sadly.

"I know." I kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry sweetie." I say.

He intertwines our fingers.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I say and smile.

"What?" He asks.

"I have a present for you." I say.

"What?" He asks.

"I have pictures." Finnick looks confused.

I get them out to show him.

"These are pictures of our baby." I say and go through them with him.

I can see that happiness in his eyes again.

"This is the last one." I say and show him and the most important in my opinion. It tells what sex the baby is.

"I wish I was there with you." He says.

"I wanted you there too." I whisper. "Especially when they told me-"

"What did they tell you? Are you or the baby hurt?" He asks worried.

"No." I say and shake my head. "When they told me it was a boy." I say and show him the picture again.

"We're going to have a boy?" He asks happy.

"Yes." I say.

"We're gonna have a boy." He says and smiles. "I'm going to love him so much." Finnick says.

"I know."

"And you're going to love him so much too." Finnick smiles.

"Yes I will." I say and kiss him.

Finnick seems to be okay for the rest of the day. He seems more like himself. Which I love.

Finnick's been awake for the whole day and hasn't had a seizure. I like this. Everything seems a little normal now.

Finnick is holding my hand but then starts wincing.

"Sorry." I say and let go. I have been holding onto his hand all day.

"It's okay." He says but, he still looks like he is in pain.

"You okay?" I ask concerned.

"I don't-" He winces in pain and touches his hand. He cries out in pain.

"Finnick what's wrong?" I ask.

"Give me your hand." He says and I do.

He just touches my hand with the pads of his fingers and yelps in pain.

"What's wrong Finnick?" I ask worried.

"It hurts." He whimpers.

"What does?" I ask.

"It hurts to touch." He says and puts out his hand and it starts shaking.

"Finnick what are you doing?" I ask concerned.

"I'm not doing anything." He says and then cries out in pain. His forearms start to shake as well.

It looks like it does when he has a seizure but his whole body isn't shaking and he knows what's going on around him.

I press the nurse call button.

"Something's wrong." Is all I say.

* * *

The nurse got it under control, but then the doctor came into the room to assess the 'situation'. I hate the words they use. Most of the time it is very taunting.

"We believe the venom from the mutts affect nerves. Which is why you seem to lose control of them at certain times or have seizures." The doctor explains.

"Can you fix it?" He asks.

"We don't have enough to go on." He says.

"So am I going to die?" Finnick asks.

"This only seems to be affecting your arms. It doesn't seem life threatening. However-"

"So you don't know." Finnick says.

I kiss his cheek.

"We're doing the best we can." The doctor says and leaves.

"Don't you just love when they don't answer your questions." He says sarcastically.

"Baby, they said there's nothing to worry about now." I say and kiss his cheek.

"That's not what they said Annie." He says.

"Finnick-"

"I want to be alone." He whispers.

"Finnick. I can't leave you alone." I whimper.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"I'm sorry, I know it was probably scary thinking I was dead. I just need to digest all of." He motions towards himself. "This."

"Finnick, you're okay." I say and hug him.

I let go of him and notice his chin is trembling.

"What's wrong?" I ask because I can tell he is about to cry.

"I don't know." He swallows hard. "I'm just scared." He sniffles and then motions for me to come closer. "What if this stuff is supposed to kill me? This mutt venom; just slowly? The only people who know for sure are probably dead. Annie-"

"Finnick, they would've figured that out by now." I say and a tear falls onto my hand. "Finnick." I whisper and hug him.

He starts crying and I rub his back

"You're okay." I whisper.

He keeps crying.

"I don't want to die." He says. He says this whenever he is upset and crying. I think he believes he is dying.

"You're not dying." I whisper. "You're going to be here when our little boy is born. You're gonna stay here with me. Besides, you promised me that I get to go first. So you can't die." I sniffle.

Finnick nods.

"Please stay with me all night." He whimpers. "I don't want to be alone. I hurt so much."

"I can get them to give you more pain meds." I say but he shakes his head.

"That's not going to help. That's not the type of hurt I meant." He whispers and starts crying again.

"I'm not going anywhere." I say and kiss his forehead and this time I mean it. I'm not going to leave him when he is crying. When he is scared. I'm not going to leave him alone in a place with strange people and machines that I know are making him uncomfortable. I know him being in here alone is also making him more uncomfortable and scared.

"You're not going to be alone." I whisper. "You're not going to be alone." I whisper again and rub his back.

"I'm so scared." He whispers.

"I know you are." I whisper and kiss his cheek. "But everything is gonna be okay. Everything is gonna work out." I whisper even though I don't know this. I think the more I say it, the more I will believe it too.


	219. Chapter 219

**Chapter 219**

I got to spend the whole night with Finnick. Although, they tried to make me leave multiple times but they never succeeded. I wonder if I could get away with this every night.

I kiss Finnick's cheek and look at him. Finnick has been passed out for hours. Everything was fine for almost the whole day but, then his nerves started doing things they shouldn't have. He started feeling pain, twitching, and even a few seizures.

They eventually just gave him a strong sedative that made his limbs go numb.

He got 'aggressively upset' in a few hours, whatever that means. They put him under and he hasn't been awake since. They can't keep doing this. He isn't dealing with everything. Not that he is hurt badly. Not that he is half blind. Not that he has lost a leg. Not that he is going to be a Dad.

I sigh.

I put my elbows on my knees and my hands over my face. I haven't processed everything yet either. I don't know what's going to happen when we leave. However long that may be.

It's like they want to keep Finnick passed out until he is better, but it can't work that way. Especially since they don't know what the hell is causing all these things that are happening to him.

"Mrs. Odair?" I hear and remove my hands.

I see it is a doctor and it's one I haven't met before.

"Yes?" I ask him. He is older than any other doctor I've seen here. He has salt and pepper hair and is short. Probably just under average.

"Can we talk about Finnick?" He asks and motions towards him.

"Yes." I say confused.

"Finnick was attacked but mutts. This happens during Hunger Games all the time but usually when it is this severe the tributes die."

"So you think Finnick is going to die?" I ask worried.

"No." He says.

"Okay." I say annoyed.

"Mutts are genetically different from us or any other 'normal' species because they are created in a lab. They use both types of DNA and combine the two creatures together. Which is usually why they are more aggressive. They aren't supposed to be part of nature. They are an abomination."

"Just tell me what's wrong with my husband." I say. I don't need a science or history lesson. I just want to know what's wrong with him.

"Yes, right. The venom that comes from the teeth of these mutts isn't meant to kill just stun. But with multiple wounds it is unclear what was meant to happen."

"Probably what is happening to Finnick." I say.

"Possibly." He says. "Anyways, we are looking at his blood daily and his cells are starting to mutate into something else."

"Are you saying all this stuff is making Finnick no longer human?" I ask trying not to sound worried.

"No, that's not what I'm saying." He says defensively.

"Then what are you saying?" I ask confused.

"That we think we should start him on a medication-"

"He doesn't need anymore pain medication." I say. "That's not helping anything."

"This isn't pain medication. It's a medication to see the mutated cells and see where they are starting to form." He says.

"I don't understand medical talk so explain it to me like I'm a three year old." I say trying to sound nice.

"We're going back to inject a dye into him, where it will find the infected areas. Then once we find those areas, we will inject him in the infected areas with a different medication. The medication -canataous- will try and kill the mutated cells and stop more from forming." He says. I'm still not sure what he is saying.

"What if this canataous doesn't kill the nerves or whatever? Will Finnick die?" I ask.

"We're looking into that possibility." He says.

"So you still have no idea what you're doing." I say angrily.

"This is a very unique case and situation."

"You should wake him up and tell him this." I say.

"We can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?" I ask confused.

"Well, we can but for this test to work, all the drugs need to be out of his system."

I look at him like he's crazy.

"Finnick will be in an exuberant amount of pain then."

"I'm well aware, which is why we won't do this without his permission." He says.

* * *

Finnick wakes up late in the day.

"Hi sweetie." I say and kiss his cheek.

He doesn't respond he just starts coughing.

"You're okay." I say and rub his back. I feel something wet land on my arm.

I put my hand up and see its blood.

I hit the nurse call button.

Finnick leans over the side of his bed and throws up. It is mostly mucus but there is blood as well.

I look at him and I see a drip of blood roll down his chin.

"Oh god!" He sobs and grips his stomach and throws up again except this time it is mostly blood. He starts screaming in pain.

I don't need to tell the nurse what is wrong. As soon as she gets here she can figure it out.

His heart beat monitor starts going up and he starts shaking.

"He needs emergency surgery." One of the new people who came in here says.

They just roll him out of here like he is a mop bucket. I try to go after him, but get stopped and told to wait elsewhere.

I swallow hard and lean against the wall until I'm sliding down it. I feel my butt hit the floor but I still feel like I'm falling.

"Annie?" I hear a gentle voice say.

I look up and see Peeta.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"My therapist's office is near here. I thought I'd see if Finnick was okay." Peeta says and sits next to me.

"He's not." I whisper.

"He still screaming about lizards?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"They keep him passed out mostly because he either has seizures or can't control his hands from shaking. His veins look worse. They are going from a dark blue to a deep purple. He just started throwing up blood." I say.

"Oh." He whispers.

"They had to take him to emergency surgery." I whisper.

I feel an arm encircle me.

"They keep saying they think he won't die but, I also know they don't know what the hell they are doing. Even though the doctors will never admit that." I say.

Peeta rubs my forearm and I feel tears roll down my cheeks.

"I don't know what is worse, having him go fight and worry that he won't come back or sit in that room with him and watch him die." I whisper.

"He's going to be alright Annie. If they say I'm going to be alright, I'm sure Finnick will as well." Peeta says gently.

I lean my head on his shoulder.

"I hope you're right. I don't know what I'd do without him. Especially since I'm pregnant."

"Really?" Peeta says even though I'm sure he heard.

"Finnick's too good of a person to not see his kid." I whimper.

"He's going to see your kid and you will all go back to District Four." Peeta reassures me.

"Tell me a story." I whisper hoping he can distract me.

"Okay." Peeta says. He tells me about frosting and baking. He talks about District 12 and things he misses about home. He seems to talk forever but it still isn't good enough because, I can't stop thinking about Finnick.

Whenever I hear footsteps I look up hoping that person is going to talk to me but is usually just a visitor or a nurse.

"Mrs. Odair." I finally hear. The doctor interrupted Peeta talking about his brothers. It was making me think how different it would've been to grow up with a brother or sister. However, Lana is like my sister. I met her when I was in first grade and we are still friends all these years later. I wish she was here now.

"Yes?" I ask and wipe my eyes. I don't bother getting up. I'm too afraid to anyways.

"Can you come with me? I have something I need to tell you." The doctor tells me.I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and it isn't helping that he has blood on his scrubs. A lot of blood.


	220. Chapter 220

**Chapter 220**

The doctor and I take a few steps away from Peeta, probably so he can't hear.

I swallow hard.

"Mrs. Odair, Finnick needed emergency surgery because-"

"I don't care just tell me where he is." I say. "I don't need to hear medical jargon I don't understand."

"He's in a post surgery room." The doctor says.

"So... he's alive?" I ask.

"Yes." He says. "But-"

"Don't say but." I whisper.

"He's in a coma and due to this, the doctor doesn't feel comfortable doing the previous tests he had scheduled-"

"So you're going to be doing nothing?" I say outraged.

"Mrs. Odair we're going to make him comfortable and go on from there." He says.

"You think he's going to die." I say.

"Mrs. Odair-"

"You think he's going to die!" I say again but this time louder.

"We just don't know what to do from here. We are running more tests. We will probably know more then." He says and pauses before he walks off.

He thinks Finnick is going to die.

I don't respond I just leave the hospital. I would go see Finnick but, I can't stay in there anymore.

I can't be here anymore.

* * *

I went back to see Finnick later in the day.

He looks terrible. So pale. Some of the veins on his body are going away, I think that it is a good thing. I hope that is a good thing. However, a nurse pointed out that, that could just be from blood loss.

I blow up air causing my bangs to fly up in all different directions.

I talked to Molly about why he was moved here and it is because he is in critical condition. When I asked her I thought he already was. She didn't elaborate but I'm pretty sure I can fill in the blanks.

I never did find out why he started throwing up blood. Probably because I pretty much yelled at the doctor to just tell me if Finnick was alive. I'm sure if I asked them now they would be required to tell me but, I don't really care right now.

Finnick has so much hooked up to him that he looks part machine. The good thing or a good thing is that his surgical wound from the leg amputation has healed.

If Finnick wakes up, the doctors keep saying if not _when_ which isn't very comforting, he doesn't have brain damage. He has lots of brain waves but he just isn't awake.

Anyways, _when_ Finnick wakes up they're going to start doing physical therapy. Nothing too major because he really can't go anywhere, but learning how to roll over, sit up, and other average things Finnick can still do while being in bed. They can't have him walk around. Well, he couldn't walk around anyways.

The physical therapist says there's usually steps before walking. First is using a wheelchair. Second is using a walker. Third is using a cane. Fourth and the final stage is just walking by yourself with your prosthetic. The therapist explains that all of this usually takes a year at the least. She also said some people skip the walker and just go right to the cane because they are able to or if the therapist/doctor says they should.

However, Finnick is the type of idiot where, he is going to do something if _he_ thinks it's alright. Even if a doctor says differently. I can see a lot of falling if he doesn't listen. Well, I could see a lot of falling anyways. Finnick has never been the most graceful person.

They also want to ask him if he would rather have a glass eye or just an eye patch. Finnick has said people with eye patches look bad ass. So I think I know his answer, but that isn't exactly a number one priority.

As for me and baby we are doing fine. The doctor says everything is fine. Including my weight gaining and growth development. Honestly, I don't see any bump or anything but I haven't spent most of my time looking at myself in the mirror. I still have a feeling to throw up and my breasts are hurting a little but other than that... I think I'm fine. I also think I feel sick just from this situation.

"Hi Finnick." I say to his unconscious body.

I take his hand and hold it. He has an IV in it. He has one in the other as well. He also has those scary breathing tube things in his nose. He's been out for almost two weeks and supposedly the more time goes on, the less likely it will be he wakes up.

Being in the hospital is rather boring, but also glum. They should try and make the atmosphere more warm and comforting. Then again we are in 13… I doubt it looks welcoming anywhere in this place.

Someone comes in and drops off food for me. Visitors aren't supposed to eat here, but I get the feeling they know I'm not going to be leaving him alone unless they drag me out of here. Which is what usually happens at nighttime.

A few minutes later a nurse comes in to take care of Finnick. Change his dressing, check his IV and changes the ones that need to be changed, clean and change the catheter bag, check his vitals, check his temperature, make sure all the fluids and medication are still being pumped into his body correctly, and finally take more blood. This happens every three hours plus or minus a few things.

I sigh as they leave the room.I lean in closer to Finnick and kiss his cheek.

"I wonder if you're dreaming or just passed out. I wonder if you can actually hear me. I wonder how you would be reacting if I was in that bed and not you." I kiss his forehead. "I love you." I whisper and swallow hard. "And I need you to wake up. I need you Finnick. I need you." I whisper into his ear.


	221. Chapter 221

**Chapter 221**

It's been three more days and still nothing. I, unlike the doctors, have not really given up hope.

I'm about to head to the hospital, like everyday, I don't even eat in the cafeteria anymore.

As I touch the doorknob I hear a knock.

I flinch but open the door.

"Hello Annie." Dr. Ash smiles. I can't remember the last time I saw him.

"Hi. If you excuse me I need to be leaving-"

"Annie. It has been suggested that you should start going to therapy again." He says gently.

"Requested by whom?" I ask annoyed.

"Some members of the hospital staff." He says and I groan. I'm pretty sure I know which members did this as well. They probably just want to get me out of there so they don't have to see me.

"Well I can't. I need to be with Finnick." I say. "I need to be there when he wakes up." I say annoyed.

"I understand. Which is why our meetings will be short."

"Is this a requirement?" I ask.

He sighs.

"Not really." He says. Even if it was a requirement, I wouldn't go and I'm sure he knows this.

"Then excuse me, I have to be going." I say again.

"Annie, just try it once. It helped a little before, correct?" He asks.

"There's nothing I need to talk to you about." I say angrily.

"Fine, but it is recommended by every pregnant woman at thirteen to be given this." He says and places a book in my hands.

"What's this?" I ask.

"Something you should read to prepare you on what will happen during your pregnancy and birth. There is also a recommended, if not required, video you should watch."

"Video?" I ask confused.

"Of a live birth. We feel it helps woman understand more." He says.

"I'll take it into consideration." I say. I don't really want to watch some other woman give birth but, I will read the book. It's not like I have anything else I need to be doing.

"Thanks." I say.

He nods.

"You can see me whenever you want Annie. My door is always open please remember this." He says gently. I can tell Dr. Ash cares what happens to me. He is a nice person.

"I'll take it into consideration." I say not meaning it.

He smiles and walks away.

I go back into my room and flip through the pages of the book a little before I decide to leave. I take the book with me, mostly to distract me.

"Hello Mrs. Odair." I hear the nurse greet me from the nursing station.

I smile and head to Finnick's room.

I see someone doing his daily check up routine.

"What's this?" I ask because he has these strange packs around him.

"Some move to massage and relax the muscles so blood clots don't form and these are because he was starting to get a fever." She says and points at some cool packs.

"Why is he getting a fever?" I ask worried.

"Doctors are looking into that now. His temperature is almost back down to normal. Do you know if Finnick is allergic to any medications?" She asks.

"Not that I know of." I say.

She nods.

"It could've just been an allergic reaction then." She says and is about to leave the room.

"If it's not though, that's a bad sign. Right?" I ask.

"Not necessarily." She says a little too chipper.

I nod.

"Do you have any other questions?" She asks.

"No." I say.

She nods and leaves the room.

I sit next to him. I have started talking to Finnick's unconscious body as if he was awake. It isn't that hard if I just picture his answers in my head.

"Hi Finnick." I say and kiss his forehead. I pet his face. "I love you." I say.

"_I love you too Annie._"

"The food here hasn't gotten any better in case you were wondering. You think after wining a war they could afford something better than mush but I guess that is what they are used to. It is probably considered a luxury.

"I found out what happened with leadership and such. They gave it to some woman named Paylor apparently she was the leader of District Eight and did an excellent job of taking care of her wounded. I don't really understand all the restructuring that is going on with the government. Mostly because I'm too worried about you. Also because I think I need to see how this person acts for a bit before I get all excited. As long as there are no sex deals or Hunger Games... I think it will be alright.

"I also got given this book by Dr. Ash about my pregnancy. I looked at some of it, I don't know if it will be helpful or not but it will give me something to do. It can get a little boring watching you sleep in bed all day." I say. I notice his pinky is twitching slightly.

"Finnick?" I say hoping he is waking up.

I hear him take a loud and deep breath. I except his eyes to open or something terrible, like a seizure or heart attack, but nothing happens. I consider getting a nurse in here but, I think it is nothing. The body does make involuntary jerks while you are sleeping.

I sigh deeply.

"Maybe I should read this aloud. You will probably want to know some of this stuff too. You're a worrier Finnick."

"_And you're not?"_ He would say.

I kiss his cheek. I do notice he feels slightly hotter.

I lean my head on his chest. I can feel all the medical things attached to him. I can also still hear his heart beating. Sure, I can hear it on the screens as well but this is different. It's right against me.

I hear the breathy moaning noise again.

I bake off worried I'm hurting him. I also see that twitch in his pinky again.

I kiss his cheek again.

"I love you." I say. "We should start reading and by 'we' I mean you, me, and baby. Since it involves all of us." I say. "Even though it will probably boring."

I clear my throat.

"Chapter One: First Trimester." I say aloud and I see that finger twitch again.

"Finnick?" I say. "Finnick, are you trying to wake up?" I say confused. I don't get an answer. I wasn't expecting one either.I clear my throat and go back to reading aloud and every once in awhile I still see his finger twitch.


	222. Chapter 222

**Chapter 222**

I spent all night throwing up. I don't really have an interest in reading that book they gave me, because it started to get a little disgusting. I'll read it some other time. Maybe Finnick could read it to me.

I sigh deeply. I want to go outside and I know I'm allowed to now but, I'm just afraid that if I go outside I won't want to come back. Even though Finnick is here, I really hate his place.

I grab my sketch book. I've decided to just draw while in the hospital. It takes my mind off the situation and helps burn through time.

I see Peeta regularly. Mostly because our paths cross daily. He finds out information about Katniss but I'm pretty sure that's because Haymitch tells him. The insanity plea is working in her favor because she has started singing and talking at nothing and went on a hunger strike for awhile.

It sounds familiar, right? I remember doing that when I was in solitary confinement. I think Katniss will be able to walk out of this with no punishment. However, she will feel different and not just because her sister is dead.

I swallow hard.

I hear a knock on my door and feel indifferent. I'm usually scared when I hear a knock because I think it's someone to tell me Finnick is dead.

I clear my throat and open the door.

I'm confused. It's hard to process who is in front of me.

"Annie." She says and pulls me in for a hug.

"I thought you were dead." I whisper and bury my face in her chest. I feel tears fall from my eyes.

"Well I'm not sweets, don't worry." My Mom says.

"What are you doing here? How are you here?" I say. I pull back to look at her. They gave her a jumpsuit and everything. I wonder if they gave her a place to stay or if this is temporary.

"Pearl told me. She got a phone call about Finnick."

"What did it say?" I ask worried.

"That Finnick was here and hurt."

"Why didn't they call her sooner?" I ask annoyed.

"I don't know honey, but it doesn't matter."

"Is Pearl here?" I ask.

"No. She didn't want to leave District 4."

"Why?" I ask.

"I dunno." She says. She sounds confused.

"Wouldn't she want to see Finnick?" I ask worried.

"I don't know sweetie. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries by asking."

"Did they say I was here, or did you just come for Finnick?" I ask.

"Pearl asked if you were here and they told her yes."

I lean and hug her again.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." She says and kisses the top of my head.

"I thought you were dead." I say again.

"I'm not. Neither is Lana and Pearl obviously."

I nod.

"What about my house?" I whisper. I know material objects at this point mean nothing to me, but I am curious. Almost everything Finnick and I owned was in that house.

"It got burned to the ground Annie. There are a few things that were salvaged but... it's all gone." She says gently.

I swallow hard.

"Don't worry when you come home you can live in Finnick's house-"

"I'm not going anywhere near that place again." I say. "As far as I know is that all of Victors' Village got burned to the ground." I say.

"You can live with me then. You and Finnick." She says and pushes hair behind my ear.

"Is District Four okay?" I ask.

"It looks better than mos. Especially, from the footage that has been playing." She says and I nod.

"Okay." I say not really wanting to know the rest.

"So do you like this place?" She says in a hushed tone.

"Not really, but I got married here."

"I know. I saw on the propo. You looked so beautiful Annie and happy." She says and kisses my cheek.

"I was happy."

She smiles.

"I can imagine."

"Mom." I say.

"What is it sweetie?" She asks.

"I'm pregnant." I say because I don't think that was plastered around the whole country. Although I can't say the same for this place.

"That's wonderful." She says. It's in a strange tone though. Maybe she's thinking what if Finnick dies because she doesn't know I was raped in the Capitol.

"I know." I say.

She nods.

"I was going to see Finnick." I say.

"Do you want me to go with you?" She asks.

"Yes please." I say. I haven't had anyone else in that room with me besides nurses. It's nice to have someone else with me and it's nice that person is my Mom.

"Okay." She says and kisses my cheek.

I pick up the sketchbook and we head to the hospital. My Mom is looking around curiously. Of course she is so was I when I first got here.

"Mom." I say before we get to the hospital.

"Yes?" She asks.

"Just don't freak out when you see him. He doesn't exactly look that nice. He doesn't exactly look like Finnick. He-"

"Annie I'm sure I'll be fine." She says.

I nod and we head to his room.

"This one is his." I say.

"The Odair on the wall gave it away honey." She says and I smile.

We walk in the room and I sit in my usual chair. However, my Mom is looking at Finnick like an insect. She's curious but, I can tell she is worried.

"You can sit next to me Mom." I say and pat the chair next to me.

She nods her head.

"Of course." She says and sits next to me and reaches for my hand.

"Hi Finnick. My Mom came here to 13. I guess you were right, she was alive. Your Grandma is too because she got a phone call. District Four seems to be in good shape though." I take his hand and then kiss his cheek. "I love you." I whisper.

I look towards my Mom wanting her to say something but she is still just looking at him.

"Mom." I say.

"I'm sorry, it's just his skin." She says looking at all the veins.

"That was from a mutt attack."

"Oh." She says. I can tell she is uncomfortable.

"Mom if you can't be here-"

"No, I can. I, unlike you Annie, haven't seen him. I'm sure you weren't this relaxed when you first saw him." She says.

"I think I was too relieved that he was alive to realize what was wrong with him."

She nods.

"He is alive." She says and smiles.

"I know but he's been out for almost four weeks. I'm pretty sure the doctors don't think he is going to wake up." I say.

"I'm sure that's not true. Finnick has always just taken his time doing things." She smiles and so do I.

"Do you think he can hear us?" I say.

"I don't know sweetie."

"Because I asked the doctors and they don't believe so, but when I talk to him sometimes he makes this loud moan or his fingers twitch. It used to just be his pinky but how it's his whole hand. I think he can hear me. Either that or he is just more comfortable around my voice." I say and run my hand up and down his arm.

"Maybe he can hear us. Do you do anything in specific when he is asleep?" She asks.

"No. Well I lie next to him but I can't do that here." She says.

"Doesn't Finnick sing when you're sick?" She asks.

"Finnick only sings to calm me down. There are only two songs and I don't remember all of them fully."

"I don't think that matters Annie, maybe you should sing to him." She says.

I sigh deeply.

"I don't know." I say embarrassed. I don't like singing, not even in front of Finnick.

"It might make him feel better. Especially if he can hear us." She encourages

I sigh.

"I'm only doing this because it's for you." I whisper to Finnick and kiss his cheek.

_Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?_

_Telling me to give you everything_

_Seasons may change, winter to spring_

_But I love you until the end of time_

_Come what may, come what may_

_I will love you until my dying day_

_Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side_

_Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide_

_But I love you, I love you_

_Until the end of time_

_Until the end of time_

I don't remember all the words and I'm pretty sure the chorus' aren't in order but it doesn't really matter.

I notice Finnick's hand moving again and is heartbeat is changing as well.

_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place._

_I will love you..._

_Until my dying day._ I hear Finnick mutter.

**A/N: Disclaimer I don't own the song Annie is signing. It's called _Come What May_ and is from the movie _Moulin Rouge!_ Thanks for reading.**

**-Susan**


	223. Chapter 223

**Chapter 223**

"Finnick?" I say hopeful because he still looks passed out.

_"Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place_

_Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace_

_Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste_

_It all revolves around you." _

I make out.

"You were singing it wrong." I hear him say weakly.

"Finnick?" I say again.

"My head hurts." He whimpers." My leg hurts too." He says. His eyes are droopy.

I hit the nurse call button.

"He's awake." I say I basically shout. "You're awake." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Water." He mumbles.

"Bring him water." I say in case the nurse didn't hear.

The nurse is in the room in seconds. Holding his water and holding other medical supplies.

"Mr. Odair." She says and gives him the water. He doesn't take it. He just sips it out of the straw.

He leans back on the bed.

"How do you feel?" She asks.

"Tired." He whimpers.

"Okay. I want you to answer some questions for me." She says.

He nods slightly.

"Do you know your full name?" She asks.

"Finnick Odair." He mumbles.

"What's your middle name?" She asks.

"He doesn't have one." I tell her and she nods.

"Where are you right now?"

"Hospital." He mutters.

"Do you know what District you're in?" She asks.

He wrinkles his eyebrows and his heartbeat has changed.

"If you don't know that's alright." The nurse says gently.

"13." He says confused.

"That's right." I say and squeeze his hand but he winces.

"Sorry." I say.

"Do you know who these people are?" The nurse asks.

"Annie, my wife. And Jenna her mother." He says and clears his throat. The nurse gives him more water.

My Mom nods when the nurse looks at her for confirmation.

"Do you know where you're from?" She asks.

Finnick rubs his temples.

"Um… uh. Near the sea... what District is that?" He asks looking towards me.

"Four. You grew up in District 4." I say gently.

"With Marci and Jason." He clears his throat and gets more water.

"That's right with your brother and sister." I say and kiss his forehead. It makes me a little worried that he didn't remember he's from District 4.

"How old are you?" She asks.

"Twenty four, unless my birthday happened." Finnick says.

"Your birthday didn't happen yet sweetie." I say.

He nods.

The nurse puts the clip board down on the counter.

She shines a light in front of his face to check his pupils.

"That's bright." He says and moves his hands up blocking it.

"I know but I need to make sure you're alright." The nurse gently. It's like she's talking to a child which I think is the right thing to do now. She puts the light back in her pocket.

She holds up her fingers.

"Squeeze my fingers as hard as you can." She says and Finnick slowly moves his hands up and squeezes her fingers. "As hard as you can." She says again. He must not be squeezing very hard.

"I am. It hurts too much to do it more." Finnick whimpers.

"Okay." She says and writes something down.

She has him do other things, but his reflexes don't seem to be that good. However I think that is part he just got up from a coma and part he only has one eye now.

"Okay good." She smiles. "The physical therapist and doctor will be in shortly." She smiles.

"Physical therapist?" Finnick asks confused.

"For your eye and leg." The nurse says gently.

Finnick moans.

"I don't want-"

"Finnick it won't be that bad." I say and rub his arm which makes him wince.

The nurse comes over and touches him in the same spot.

"Does this hurt?" She asks and uses different pressures.

"Get off!" He eventually shouts.

She does it on other places. It is mostly where the veins are visible on his body. Most have gone away on the right side.

"Okay. I'll let the doctor know." She smiles and leaves.

"Annie." He says and holds up his hand. "I love you." He says.

"I love you too."

"Why do I hurt?" He whimpers.

"I don't know, but they're going to figure it out." I say.

"I hope so." He says. "Why do I feel tired if I was in a coma for a while?" He asks.

"I dunno. I'm not a doctor." I say.

Finnick moves his hands to the top of his head. Where there are a lot of wires to measure his brain waves.

"Don't touch. Those are helping." I say and he nods.

* * *

A few hours later the physical therapist comes in for his eye. Finnick isn't very… reasonable with this. I don't think the eye is the biggest problem though. I think his leg is.

"My leg hurts." He whimpers to the physical therapist.

"He keeps saying this." I say worried.

"It could just be phantom pain. Some amputees feel this." The physical therapist says. "Finnick the doctor thinks you should learn how to do things by yourself."

"I don't want to." He whimpers.

"Finnick we aren't going to stay here forever. We're going to go home." I say gently.

"I know and when we go home, we are going to raise our son." He says.

"Yes but you will need to walk around, do every day tasks. I think-"

"Just stop talking please." He says.

"Finnick-"

"Maybe we could just focus on the eye today." The therapist says.

"Okay." I say but Finnick still looks annoyed.

I don't think the eye therapy will be as hard as the leg.

"Annie can I speak with you outside?" She says when they are finished.

"Of course." I say nervous.

"Is something wrong with him?" I ask worried.

"We think Finnick should talk to a therapist."

I do a laugh like scoff.

"Sorry, Finnick isn't going to talk to anyone about this." I say.

"He needs to talk to someone and we feel a third party person would be nice. He already has one that he saw when you were in the Capitol."

"He isn't going to talk to anyone about this. Finnick is a stubborn idiot." I say and she raises her eyebrows at me. Probably because I just called him an idiot.

"Maybe, but he needs to start doing things. Roll over by himself or at least sit up." She says.

"But Finnick is hurt in other places." I say defensively.

"He is well enough to try these things, but I can't force him and like you told him he will need to know how to do everyday things when he gets home."

I sigh.

"You can try to get a therapist in here but I'm telling you it will be a waste of everyone's time." I say.

"It doesn't hurt to try." She smiles.

"Just don't start this today." I say.

"Of course." She says and then she lets me walk back into the room.

I hear Finnick and my Mom talking. They are talking about why I'm out there. Finnick is worried and my Mother is trying to calm him down.

"Why were you out there?" He asks worried.

"She just wanted to tell me how well you were doing." I say.

Finnick sighs. He isn't that out of it to know I'm lying.

The doctor then comes in and talks about Finnick's nerves again. They talk about that test they explained to me earlier about injecting him with dye.

"You didn't explain to him you would be taking him off the pain meds." I say annoyed.

"That's because while Finnick was in a coma we figured out we didn't have to." He says.

I look towards Finnick who looks confused.

The doctor goes into more detail. Finnick is clasping and unclasping his hands.

"You're upsetting him." I say gently.

The doctor looks at me strangely.

"Do you understand then Finnick?" The doctor asks and Finnick nods. "Will you give consent to this?" The doctor asks and Finnick looks towards me.

"Annie?" He whispers. There aren't many risks for doing this. The most is that nothing will be found out.

"You think I'll be okay?" He asks.

I nod and smile.

"Yes, you will." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Jenna?" He asks which surprises me.

"I thinks it's a good idea." She says and smiles.

"Okay." Finnick whispers and signs something. They soon inject him with the dye and his skin starts to turn a deep purple. Like the doctor explained.

"Now there will be spots, that will almost look yellow. It will show the most infect areas so we can inject the medication into him." The doctor explains again. "Hit the call button when you see the yellow. Although nothing should happen before twenty four hours." He says. "Questions?" He asks. We don't have any so he leaves.

* * *

"You feel okay?" I ask in a few hours.

"Cold." He says, that was one of the side effects.

I nod and get him another blanket.

"I look like a Capitol citizen I bet." He mutters.

"You still look handsome." I say and he smiles.

My Mom left an hour ago to get something to eat but I get the feeling she just wanted to leave. I don't think she could handle being in here for this long. I know she loves me and Finnick but there are some things some people just can't handle. It's not because she doesn't care. It's because she can't handle seeing Finnick like this.

"Do you hurt anywhere?" I ask hi

"No more than usual." He says and I nod.

Finnick falls asleep in a few hours and the doctors reassure me he is just asleep.

I start drawing and look up at Finnick all the time.

I look up once and see he is starting to get the yellow spots. This is where he mutt venom is then.

I hit the call button and the nurse talks to the doctor. The doctor says we have to wait the twenty four hours to make sure everything is brought to light.

* * *

By the time morning has come they have found all the infected areas and are starting to treat him.

The doctors believe this should help control his nerves. However, he said he thinks the veins that are still showing won't go away. Which means almost half of his body will be like that for the rest of his life. I don't care I just want Finnick. However, I don't know how Finnick will take this news.

"Hi sweetie." I say and sit next to Finnick.

He's out of it from all the medication they are pumping into him.

"Annie?" He says confused.

"Hi sweetie." I say again.

"They want me to talk to a therapist." He says.

"I know, they told me they would suggest it to you." I say.

He nods.

"If I talk to a therapist I want you to be in the room." He whispers.

I nod.

"I don't care if they don't like it. I want you there. I need you there." He sniffs. I kiss his cheek.

"I would love to be with you." I kiss the top of his head. "But they probably want me to leave the room so you can talk about me." I say.

"I'll talk about you with you in the room. Even if it will hurt your feelings." He says and that makes me worried. I hope I'm not doing anything that is hurting him. I'm just trying to take care of him and be there for him but what if I am just annoying him?

**A/N: Hello readers! I have a question for y'all do you think I am dragging this story on? Because I have a whole story arch planned for Finnick being in the hospital but if you feel it's dragging on than I can fast forward. I think I am drawing it out because I don't want this story to end! But whatever please tell me your opinion in a review or PM.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Susan.**


	224. Chapter 224

**Chapter 224**

I walk down to see Finnick. I hear voices outside his room and stop for a moment.

"I told you I'm not going to talk to you unless Annie is here." Finnick says frustrated. I'm assuming he is speaking with his therapist.

"But you need to talk about Annie and you can't do that while she is in the room."

"I don't need to talk about Annie. I need her. I love her." Finnick defends.

"I'm not saying you don't love her, but I'm sure you want to talk about her. How you feel about her coming to see you? How you think she is feeling? I'm sure you would like to discuss this and I don't think you can with her." He says.

"I just need her here." Finnick says angrily.

"Finnick we talked about your codependency with Annie while she was in the Capitol. You can survive on your own."

"I can be by myself." Finnick says angrily.

"Yes you can." The therapist praises him like a dog.

"I just love Annie and-"

"You can love Annie but that doesn't mean there are things about her, about this situation, that you don't find… admirable."

"I love Annie." Finnick says. "Everything about her is admirable." Finnick says softly.

"So there isn't one thing?"

It's silent. I'm about to walk in when I hear Finnick's voice.

"I wish she wouldn't come here so much." Finnick says. He sounds ashamed.

"Why is this?"

"Because I don't want her to see me like this and I don't want to talk about physical therapy with her because she doesn't understand." Finnick says.

"How so?"

"She makes it sound so simple but it's not simple."

"I see well, we could have Annie spend less time-"

"She's not going anywhere. If she found out I was asking to see less of her... she would be offended." Finnick says.

"She wants what is best for you. If that is your wish I'm sure she will grant it Finnick."

"I wish she could sleep with me at night. I have nightmare and… it hurts."

"What kind of nightmares are you having? The same ones we discussed before?"

"No… I'm in my uniform back in those tunnels… explosions… blood… mutts." Finnick whimpers.

"So you're seeing the events that happened before you passed out-"

"Mostly yes."

"Have you told Annie this?" He asks.

"No. I don't want Annie to worry about something else. She's so worried about me but she doesn't know I'm worried about her."

"Why are you worried about Annie?" He asks.

"Because she has to see me all mutilated and because she is pregnant and I can't be there for her." Finnick sniffs.

"I see." The doctor says.

Finnick sniffs again. I think he is about to cry.

"She will be coming here soon so please leave me alone." Finnick says.

"Alright but, I will be back Finnick. There are things that still need to be discussed."

"Wait." Finnick says panicked.

"Yes?" The doctor says happily.

"I was wondering when Annie has her doctor appointments if I could-"

"You can't go with her Finnick you're too sick." The doctor says gently.

"Couldn't they just look at her, or them, here? I'm sure they can bring in the equipment in here. I just-"

"No Finnick that isn't plausible."

"Well, how long will I be in here?" Finnick asks angrily.

"That hasn't been determined yet."

"But I'm going to see Annie have our son right? Right?" Finnick asks in his desperate tone.

"That's not my decision. There's plenty of time before that happens. I'm sure if you are doing better everything will be fine."

"But I need to be there." Finnick pleas.

I walk into his room. I don't like where this conversation is going because I want Finnick in that room when I give birth. It hadn't crossed my mind that he wouldn't be 'allowed' to.

"Hi Finnick." I say and walk over to his bedside and kiss his forehead. "Who's this?" I ask and motion towards the therapist.

"That's my therapist. He came even though I explained I wanted you in the room with me." Finnick says. He is trying to sound calm but I can tell he is upset.

"I thought it might be better if Finnick had some alone time to speak with someone else. Someone not as close with him. It is sometimes easier to talk to a stranger. I'm sure you experienced that with your therapist Annie." He says and smiles.

"Yeah sure." I say unamused.

"I'll leave you alone but, I'll come back later Finnick." The doctor says and leaves.

"Do you like him?" I ask.

"He's okay I guess." Finnick says and I nod.

"That's good." I say and he nods. "Anything else happen while I was away?" I ask.

"Not really. They changed around my stuff." He motions to the IVs and bandages around him. "The physical therapist came in here again but, I sent her away."

"Finnick, why would you do that?" I ask trying to not sound upset especially after hearing what he just said.

"Because I'm fine. I don't need help." He says.

It's silent.

"Finnick you couldn't even get out of this bed without help." I say gently.

"I could figure it out." He says annoyed.

He holds my hand and starts drawing small circles.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says.

"Finnick I know you're probably scared."

"I'm not scared." He whispers.

"Well I am." I say gently.

"You are?" He whispers not looking at me.

"Yes, because change is hard but it will be okay."

"I don't know Annie." He whispers.

"Finnick it will be okay, and I'll be right here with you." I say and he looks up at me.

"What if I can't do it?" He whimpers. "What if I don't get used to it?"

"You will." I kiss his cheek. "It will just take some patience, time, and practice." I say gently.

"We're going to have a son though." Finnick says but he doesn't sound happy.

"I know." I say.

"But babies need a lot of care." Finnick says.

"We can take care of him Finnick." I say gently.

"Will you be able to take care of him and me though?" Finnick asks softly. "I don't know how I'll be… I don't want to get in the way."

"Finnick you're not going to be getting in the way." I say. "You will be able to help me, no you will be helping me." I say and he smiles. "You can hold him and feed him while sitting."

"But Annie." He says and scrunches the sheets.

"Yes?" I ask.

"What is he going to think of me?" Finnick whispers.

"He's going to love you so much." I say.

He shakes his head in confusion.

"No I mean…"

"What is it?" I ask gently.

"What is he going to think of how I look?" He whispers. "The doctors told me it might be this way forever. I'll look half dead for the rest of my life."

"Finnick you don't look half dead." I say sweetly.

He sighs.

"And Finnick." I kiss his cheek. "He's not going to know the difference when he looks at you. He's just going to love you so much. He'll love you as much as I do." I say.

"I dunno." He says and covers his face. I can tell he is crying. "People always stared at me because I was good looking but now they're going to be starting because they are going to wonder what the hell happened to that guy." He says.

"Finnick shhh." I say gently. "No one is going to be looking at you strangely." I say.

"Annie-"

"Besides, it doesn't matter what other people think. It just matters what you, me, and, baby think." I say.

"I don't know Annie." He whimpers.

"Well it's a good thing I do."

I feel a tear drop onto my hand.

"Can you just hold me." He whispers. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want you to hold me and tell me everything is alright." He says.

"Everything is alright Finnick. You're safe and doing well." I say and kiss his cheek. "Everything is okay." I whisper to him over and over again. I wonder what else is going on inside his head.


	225. Chapter 225

**Chapter 225**

Finnick has finally started to do therapy well, sort of. He can roll over and sit up. Which is something. The thing I think is the most progress is him talking with his physical therapist and regular therapist about what has happened, which he wasn't able to do before. From sitting in on his sessions it sounds like he hasn't fully come to terms with his situation yet. This is why he still doesn't want to see his prosthetic leg. They measured one and have one all made up for him but, he refuses to even look at it.

As for his infections and physical attributes they say he is recovering fine but they don't feel comfortable letting him leave yet. I don't think they are going to have him leaving anytime soon which is making me worry. I don't want them to keep him here forever to be studied or something.

I'm also a little worried because I'm scared I might have to give birth here. Sure there is nothing technically wrong with that but, I always thought I would give birth at home. That I would get to take my son to my house from the hospital, now I'm just going to take him back to my compartment. I don't even know how I will be able to see Finnick in the hospital and take care of our son.

The doctors keep talking about how an infection might spread. Even though I have been seeing Finnick every day since he has been here and nothing has happened to me. They even want me to get more check ups to make sure the baby is alright. Which he is, he's perfectly healthy. I'm happy about that. I am still so worried that something bad is going to happen to him.

I'm starting to show which is a good thing but, it also reminds me how long we have been here. Which has been five months, I only know that because I'm six months pregnant. I wish we could go home. I wish they could just transfer him or something. I asked about this and they said it would be unlikely especially since Finnick isn't actually trying very hard for his physical therapy.

* * *

I walk down to Finnick's hospital and am shocked when I get there, because his room is empty.

"Where is he? Is he okay?" I ask the nurse in his room.

"He's fine. They took him down to physical therapy."

"They took him down to… what now?" I ask confused.

"The physical therapy room, I can take you there if you wish." She says.

"But, they didn't tell me-"

"It wasn't a planned thing Mrs. Odair. Finnick suggested it this morning."

"He did what now?" I say even more confused.

"He said he wanted to go home. Apparently doctors told him that would only happen if he took his physical therapy more seriously.'

"But, Finnick would've told me this. He would've told me he was at least thinking this."

"I don't know Annie but, I can take you to him if you wish." She says.

I rub my forearm uncomfortable and confused as to why he wouldn't tell me. He knows when I come to see him so he would know I would see him missing.

"I'll just wait for him here." I say. He didn't want me to see him there in therapy .

"Alright, he should be back in an hour." She smiles and leaves.

I sit down in my usual chair and wait for him. I wait and wait until I finally see him and his physical therapist, Jenny. Finnick is in a wheel chair and looks tired. I wonder what he was doing in his therapy session.

"Hello Annie." Jenny says with a smile.

I nod as a greeting.

Finnick gets back in bed, mostly by himself. I don't think he is able to do it all by himself yet.

"I'll be back later." Jenny says with a smile. She then leaves.

"What are you doing here?" Finnick asks confused.

"I come see you every day." I say worried.

"I thought you had a doctors thing." Finnick said.

"That was yesterday." I say. "Finnick why didn't you tell me you started actually doing your physical therapy?" I ask.

It's silent.

"Finnick?" I say gently.

"I didn't want you to know." He says still not looking at me.

"You do realize I would figure it out eventually, right?" I say.

"I wasn't ready for you to find out yet. I didn't want you to see me… I don't want you to see me not until I can actually… support myself." Finnick says and isn't meeting my eye line.

"Finnick I don't care what you look like and shouldn't I be helping so you can continue this when we go home?" I ask.

"Probably." He says and is playing with his sheets. "I just don't want you to see until I'm ready. Jenny can go over it with you if you want to know so badly." Finnick says with an edge in his voice.

"Finnick-"

"Just leave it alone Annie." He mutters.

I sigh.

"All I was going to say is I have more pictures." I say and he turns towards me.

"Why do they take so many?" Finnick asks.

"Because of that whole infection thing." I say and Finnick rolls his eyes.

"I'm not a bio-hazard."

"I know. I think they are being over cautious because they don't exactly know-"

"What is wrong with me." Finnick finishes.

"Yeah." I say and kiss his cheek.

Finnick clears his throat.

"So you have more pictures of baby?" He asks.

"That's another thing… I think we should pick out a name. I mean calling him 'baby' is fine but, I think it is time we can choose one."

"Here I was thinking his name was baby." Finnick teases making me smile. I like when he does things like this because it reassures me that Finnick is still Finnick.

"Finnick come on." I say.

"Well, I actually did have some thoughts on this matter." Finnick says more seriously.

"Really?" I ask happily.

"Yup." He says.

"Well, I want to hear them." I say.

"I don't really have any. I was just thinking that maybe you should pick the name." He says with a smile.

"Why me?" I ask confused.

"Because you're the one carrying him around and everything. Besides I think we both know you will have the final word anyways." He says.

"Well, if you don't like it just say so. I mean it could be something crazy."

He rolls his eyes.

"I'm sure it won't be anything too abnormal." He says.

I swallow hard.

"Finnick I knew the name I wanted to call him since I found out it was a boy."

"Really?" He asks surprised.

I nod.

"I thought he should be named Finnick." I say.

"My name?" He asks.

I nod.

"I don't know anyone else with that name. Besides, he is as important as Daddy is. He's going to be just like Daddy." I say.

Finnick swallows hard.

"If you don't like it we can pick something together." I say worried.

"You really want him to be named after me. I mean… still."

"What do you mean still?" I ask confused.

"Well, I'm not exactly the most ideal-"

"Finnick, stop. You're perfect." I kiss his cheek. "And he's going to be too."

"Okay." He whispers.

"Okay." I say and kiss his forehead.

He smiles and hugs me. I rub his back and it is silent for awhile.

Jenny comes back in, in a few hours and has him do some muscles exercises.

She leaves when he is finished.

"I could've left if you wanted me to." I say remembering what he told me before.

"No, that's okay. I just don't want you to see me…" He trails off.

"What?" I ask.

"I just don't want you to see me standing… without my leg. I look weird Annie." He whispers.

"Finnick I've seen you lying down, it's the same thing." I say.

"It's not." He whispers.

Then I realize something

"They finally showed you a mirror then?" I ask because the doctors wanted to keep one away from him for awhile. Probably because of trauma or something.

He nods.

"They have them all over the physical therapy room."

I nod.

"I look weird Annie and not just because of the leg. I look skinner, paler, wounded, scary, inhuman." He says.

"Finnick-"

"People were looking at me too, like I was some freak."

"Finnick they were looking at you because it was your physical therapy." I say.

"I meant in the hall, visitors and such. They were looking at me like some… monster or something."

"Finnick, those people don't matter. You'll probably never see them again."

"But I won't forget the looks on their faces." He whispers.

"Finnick those people don't matter. All that matters is what the people you love think and I know they don't care what you look like. I know. I don't anyways and the person who cared about how good looking they were was grade A ass. Besides, didn't you tell me once whenever you looked in the mirror you hated the person who always looked back at you because all you saw was a shallow sex symbol. Do you still hate the person you see?"

"This is different." He says.

"How so?" I ask.

"It just is Annie." He says angrily.

"Okay." I say not wanting to get in a fight with him.

Finnick and I sit in silence for awhile. All that can be heard are the beeping of his machines.

"No." Finnick says and I look at him confused.

"What?" I ask confused.

"No. I don't hate the person I see in the mirror looking back at me. I don't feel ashamed and I don't see a shallow sex symbol."

I smile.

"But, I also don't understand what I see."

"But, you don't feel ashamed?" I ask.

"No. I mean… I do look like this because I wanted to fight in a war battle. I wasn't surgically enhanced to look pretty. So this is my fault."

"Finnick it's not your fault and 'ugly' is more of an emotion than how someone looks. You can't see ugly, ugly is just something that builds up inside you."

Finnick is looking at me intently.

"And Finnick everyday you're not dead in some coffin means something. Espically since you did almost die. You should just be grateful for that. Okay?" I ask.

Finnick looks at me strangely and after what seems like forever he smiles.

"Okay." He says.


	226. Chapter 226

**A/N: This chapter will contain both Finnick and Annie's POV and so will the next few. **

**Chapter 226 **

**Annie POV**

"Can I see Finnick please?" I ask a little out of breath.

"You may not _he_ might get infected." The doctor tells me.

"Please. I need Finnick here. I know he needs to be here for this. I know this will set back all the therapy he has been doing. Please just let him in the room or let him watch." I say angrily.

"I'm sorry Annie but, it's too dangerous. You don't want your son to get sick, do you?" The doctor says in a judgmental tone.

"I don't, of course I don't. But, I also want Finnick to be alright. "

"He's getting better and I'm sure he will be able to handle this as well."

"But this is different. This is the birth of his child. Possibly his only one." I say.

"Sorry Annie. It's too risky especially with the other newborns that will be around. We don't want anyone to get sick and since babies don't have strong immune systems it might be plausible."

"You don't know that." I say.

"We don't, not know it either." He says.

I sigh. I know he is right but, it just doesn't feel right that Finnick can't see the birth of his son.

"At least let me tell him." I say knowing that will make the blow a little better.

"Finnick has already been notified." He says matter of factly. I feel like he is almost enjoying this.

"How did he take it?" I ask.

The doctor doesn't respond.

"We're trying to find your Mother. For now Annie just relax." He says and closes the door.

* * *

**Two Days Earlier.**

* * *

"Hi Finnick." I say as I walk into his room. I am breathing heavily. I'm not exactly walking that quickly these days. Mostly because I am going to be giving birth any day now. Finnick thinks I should just stay in the compartment and not visit him but, I told him that was insanity. Besides, how else will he know I went into labor right away. I don't spend enough time with him as it is. I'm not going to not see him because I can't walk that quickly.

"Hey, you okay?" Finnick asks me.

"I'm fine." I say. He leans in and kisses my cheek.

Finnick looks better. He doesn't need as many things hooked up to him either. Molly has said that Finnick would've been moved out of the ICU by now if this was a 'normal' case but, because they still don't know exactly what is wrong with him, they are taking extra precautions some I think are a bit extreme.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. Finnick has been doing well in therapy. He can't walk by himself but he is somewhere at the cane/walker level. He doesn't need a wheelchair any longer. Finnick can use both the cane or walker but, history has shown that Finnick looses balance or falls easier with the cane. I know it hurts his ego to use the walker but, at least he won't fall.

He nods.

"I feel better than yesterday. I just really wish they would let me out of here. I feel fine Annie." He says.

"I know you do but, they don't think that." I say and kiss his cheek. "For the record I think you would be fine in District Four."

"Well, maybe you should make my medical decisions for me." He smiles and I roll my eyes. He shuffles slightly.

"You okay?" I ask.

He nods.

"I just need to go to the bathroom." He says.

"Do you need help? " I ask. He still isn't the best getting in and out of bed. At least he can get out of bed and go to the bathroom. The bed pan and catheter weren't the best. Besides, when Finnick gets out of bed we are supposed to call the nurse station. However, we don't always follow the rules.

"I got it, just stay close by." Finnick says. He doesn't wear his prosthetic in bed, mostly because he doesn't need it and they want to make sure he can put it on and take it off himself correctly.

He sits up and breathes in and out deeply.

He gets up out of bed slowly.

"You got it?" I ask.

"I'm okay." He says.

I walk next to him until he makes it to the bathroom.

It takes twice as long as it would for a 'normal' person to walk but, it is an improvement. I'm also glad he chose the walker instead of the cane.

"I'll wait outside the door." I say. I don't need to add in case you fall down. The nurses are required to go in the bathroom with him. I know Finnick doesn't like that, he says it feels demeaning and I'm sure it does.

I lean against the wall and rub my stomach. I'm due tomorrow and am nervous. I think I can feel myself starting to go through the early stages of labor but, I'm not sure. I'm not even sure where I will be giving labor. My doctor hasn't been very forthcoming with this information. Which I find odd, maybe they will just stick me in any hospital room.

I wanted to talk with Finnick about this more because I'm scared but, there has never been the right moment to tell him I'm terrified about actually giving birth to our son.

I hear a clattering noise.

"Finnick?" I say worried he fell down.

"I'm okay." He says.

I hear it again though.

"Finnick do need-"

"I'm fine Annie I just got stuck." He says and I hear the sink turn on then off and I walk Finnick back to the bed.

"Better?" I ask and he nods.

"So how do you feel? Honestly Annie." He says. He knows me too well.

"Finnick I told you I'm fine with you-"

He shakes his head as if insulated.

"No, not that, I meant about having our son."

"I'm nervous." I whisper.

Finnick nods.

"You'll be okay." He says and kisses my forehead. "Because I'll be with you." He says. He runs his fingers through my hair."Where do you think it will be? I mean where in the hospital? They don't really want me to leave the ICU. I'm going to be there, right?" He asks worried.

"Yes, you're going to be there." I say and kiss his cheek.

"You asked and everything?" Finnick asks.

"Well… no. I didn't think that would be an issue." I say.

Finnick nods.

"Right, right." Finnick reassures himself.

"Finnick, stop being so worried. I'm the one giving birth after all." I say.

He leans in and kisses me.

"Sorry." He says.

"It's okay." I say and kiss him.

"We never did do the whole nickname thing though. I'm cool he's going to get my name, that means he will be just as awesome." I roll my eyes. "But, you can't yell out Finnick and not expect us both to run to you." He says.

"I thought you said you were fine with Nick." I say.

"I was." I raise my eyebrows. "I mean, I am." I smile. "I just wanted to make sure is all." He says.

"Well, I'm sure." I say and he kisses me.

The rest of the day seems to be the same as usual. Finnick goes to physical therapy. He let's me go with him now because he feels more comfortable. I'm glad because I can see what he is actually doing. I can also tell if he is telling the truth when I asked him how therapy was. I can tell he lied for the most part. But, thinking about it I think I would as well.

I hear the rustling of a cart and I know it is Molly coming in.

"Nighttime checks and I'm sorry Annie but, then you will have to leave." She says gently.

"Okay." I say.

She finishes and stands near the door. That's my queue to say goodbye because I have to be escorted out of the room.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I say to him.

"Yes you will." He says and kisses me. "And don't worry Annie, everything is going to be fine." He says.

"I know." I say and kiss him. "I love you." I say.

"Love you too. Goodnight Annie." He says and kisses me.

"Goodnight Finnick." I say and kiss him

* * *

I walk back to my compartment. They gave me a new one with two rooms. One for the baby and one for Finnick and myself. I wouldn't call it home but, it is better and bigger as well.

I don't see my Mom here, which must mean she is already asleep. When they moved me to this compartment they gave her a compartment right next to mine. Which I am also grateful for.

I shower, brush my teeth, and head to bed.

I sigh.

I've had a pain in my lower back all day. However, I find sleep quickly.

I wake up and feel the sheets are wet. The pain in my back is noticeably worse.

My water must have broke. I'm going to have my baby. Soon.

**Finnick POV**

I see Molly walk into the door and she is smiling. She looks happy. She wasn't here that long ago. I wonder what she is going to tell me. Whatever it is, it must be good news because Annie and I like Molly. We trust her as well. She gives us the real information we are seeking and in English not medical English.

"What? Can I go home?" I ask excited.

She shakes her head.

"No but, Annie has gone into labor." Molly says.

I smile.

"Are you going to take me to her?" I ask as Doctor Jones comes in. He is my main doctor and the one I detest the most. Mostly because he isn't very comforting, talks to me like I'm a child, and all around isn't a nice person in my mind. Maybe that is because he is from 13. A lot of these people aren't warm and fuzzy.

"No we aren't Finnick." Dr. Jones says.

"Why not?" I ask outraged.

"Because Annie is currently in the maternity ward."

"So take me there." I say confused.

"You are not to leave the ICU Finnick. There are too many risks."

"But-"

"And me and the team have talked to you about a concern we have for infections being spread."

"You come in here all the time and don't wear a mask." I say angrily.

"Babies are different." He says vaguely.

I sigh.

"So you're telling me I won't be able to see Annie give birth?" I ask

"Yes." He says.

"I won't get see our child take their first breath?" I ask.

"This is correct." He says with no emotion.

"Surely you're joking then." I say.

"This is no joke Finnick." He says.

"Then how can you be so blasé about this? What if it was your child?"

"It's not." He says curtly. "And Annie will be just fine, her Mother is with her."

"But-"

"You should rest Finnick." He says and leaves.

I turn towards Molly who is holding a strange expression. I can tell she thought I was going to be allowed to leave the ICU, looks like we were both wrong and stupid for even thinking this.

"Molly please-" I beg.

"It's not my decision but, I'll keep you updated Finnick." She smiles. "And don't worry, I'm sure Annie will do great. She's strong and like Jones said, her mother is with her." She says.

I nod.

At least Jenna will be with her. At least Annie won't be alone.

_At least Annie won't be alone._ I think again.

**A/N: Hope you're okay with the switching of POVs. By the way there was a time skip if you were confused. Thank you for reading!**

**-Susan **


	227. Chapter 227

**Chapter 227**

**ANNIE POV**

My Mother and I are in the hospital. I just got checked in but one thing is still bothering me.

"Are you sure Finnick can't be here?" I ask as the nurse hooks me up to things.

"Yes those were the instructions we were given." She says unamused.

"But he's my husband." I say angry.

"He's too sick to be in the room with your baby." She says.

"Maybe you could make an exception." My Mom says.

"Sorry Mrs. Cresta but that isn't possible." She says and leaves the room.

"Annie I can try and get Finnick here if you want." She says and pushes hair behind my ear.

"No you should stay. They might not let you back in." I say and reach for her hand which she takes to hold.

"Okay." She says.

I swallow hard.

"Mom." I whisper.

"Yes?" She asks.

"I'm scared." I whisper.

"Annie you'll be fine and after this is all over you'll get to see your son."

"I'll get to see my son." I repeat.

She nods.

I'm still scared though. I think I would be better if Finnick were here but they are keeping him away from me.

"Finnick won't though." I say and can feel tears form in my eyes.

My Mom smooths my hair and kisses my forehead.

"Finnick might not be here for this life moment but he'll be there for all the rest." She says.

"But this is the most important." I say.

"No it's not. This is just the first. There are plenty more important life moments to go around." She says.

I swallow hard.

I want to say something but I start to feel a contraction and know it doesn't matter how much I want Finnick to be here. I have to accept that he won't be . So I'm not going to cry about it. Well I'll try not to.

* * *

"You're doing great Annie." My Mom says.

I smile.

"It's been a while do you really think so?" I ask worried.

"It's different for everyone, dont worry." She says.

"Do you think this is almost over with?" I ask and move my hand to my stomach. I just want to hold my child and see him.

Before my Mom can respond a nurse comes in.

"Let's see how you're doing." The nurse says with a too cheery smile. "Okay you're only at four it will probably be a little longer. How are you pain wise? On a scale of one to ten. Ten being the worst."

I hate this question because everyone has a different thresh hold for pain. A seven for someone could be a three for someone else.

"I don't know… I don't think I need anything." I say.

"Okay well if you change your mind just press the nurse button." She smiles then leaves.

"Why was she so chipper?" I mutter mostly to myself.

"It's fine Annie. Are you sure you don't want any pain medication? Because if you wait too long you can't get any" She asks and strokes my hair.

"I'm okay." I say.

"Okay." She says.

* * *

"How long has it been?" I sob. I'm tired and in a great deal of pain.

My Mom turns towards the clock.

"Almost seven hours."

"Ugh." I moan and a nurse comes in.

"Let's see how you're doing." The nurse says still chipper.

"Stop being so chipper, I hate chipper." I say to her.

"Annie." My Mom scolds.

"Okay, you're at seven centimeters it shouldn't be much longer." The nurse says and leaves.

* * *

I'm tired. I'm all sweaty and my hospital gown is pretty much off from how hot I am.

I make a moaning whimper noise, I just want this painful process to be over with.

The doctor comes in and examines me.

"Okay Annie you can start pushing." He smiles.

"Thank god." I whisper.

My Mom rubs my shoulders.

* * *

"Annie you have to push harder." The doctor says.

I try but get told the same thing.

"I can't do it." I sob.

"Annie yes. Yes you can." My Mom gently. "Just close your eyes and relax."

I do. Well I try. Having this pain is hard to relax.

"You're almost there Annie." The doctor says

"I'm so tired." I whimper.

I yelp when I feel another contraction.

I keep pushing and I get a stinging feeling.

"One more big push Annie." The doctor says

I grip My Mother's hand and make a small moan like scream and feel relief.

Then I hear the cries of my son. I feel like a weight has been lifted from me. I lean back on the bed as they clean him up. I told them not to show him to me until he was free of blood and whatever else. I didn't want that to end up in my nightmares.

When he gets placed in my arms I smile. He's is beautiful.

"Happy birthday." I whisper and kiss his small head. "I love you so much." I say and feel a few tears fall from my eyes. I've never been so overwhelmed by an emotion before. I kiss his head again. "I love you so much and I'm never going to let anyone hurt you." I almost whimper. "You're safe here. You're safe in my arms and no one is going to take you away from me." I kiss him again. "Never." I whisper. I wouldn't be able to say that before because of the Hunger Games and Snow but I can say it now. Which is why I think I'm even more emotional about this.

**FINNICK POV**

Ever since being told Annie was in labor I have been a nervous mess. I can't sleep and I didn't even touch my breakfast. I just keep hoping she is okay and that nothing bad happens to Annie or Nick.

I just hope everything is okay. I also wish I could be there for her.

I hear the door open around noon and see it is Jenny, my physical therapist, come into the room.

"Time for physical therapy Finnick." She smiles.

"I can't today. I'm too worried about Annie. Do you know anything about her?" I ask.

"No, I'm sorry but, the more therapy you do the sooner you get to go home." She smiles.

"Is that true or are you just telling me that so I will cooperate?" I ask.

"We just want you to get better." She says gently, not really answering my question.

"I need to know about Annie before I can do anything." I say.

She pauses

"I'll see what I can find out." She says gently and leaves the room.

I sigh in and out deeply.

No one comes into my room for a few hours which makes me worry.

After what seems like forever I see Molly come into the room.

"Do you know anything about Annie?" I ask.

She smiles and nods.

"Yes. She just gave birth and its a boy. Congratulations you have a son." She smiles.

"Are they okay?" I ask worried.

"They're both doing great." She says.

I breathe in and out with relief.

"I have a son." I say happily.

Molly nods.

"And he's going to be safe. He's not going to end up like me." I say more to myself.

No Hunger Games. No sex slave. No iron rule. He's going to be safe.

"He's going to be safe." I whisper and smile. "Can I see him?" I ask already knowing the answer.

"I'm sorry Finnick you can't. But right now the nurses are seeing him the most of him, for check ups and other things."

"And Annie was okay with that?" I ask thinking that once he was placed in her arms she wouldn't let anyone take him from her.

"I'm sure she was." Molly says.

"Can you find out. Please." I beg.

"I can make a phone call but, I'm sure she's fine." Molly says and leaves the room.

"I have a son." I say aloud to the room. Even though I can't see him I still feel happy. I just wish I was there and I wish I knew how Annie was doing.

**A/N: Hoping y'all are okay with the switching of POVs because it will probably be like this for the next few chapters. As always thanks for reading!**

**-Susan**


	228. Chapter 228

**Chapter 228**

**Finnick POV**

I look down at the ultra sound picture of our son. This is the only version I've seen of him. I just want to hold him more than anything.

"Annie." I whisper and twirl the sheets around. I haven't stopped thinking about her.

That's all I want right now. I just want to see them. I need to see them or at least one of them.

* * *

Dr. Jones walks into the room.

"Can I please see my son?" I ask desperately.

"No, doctors are worried of risk of an infection." He says.

"I saw Annie all the time." I say confused.

"Well, we feel it might effect newborns differently because they don't have a strong immune system yet."

"Fine can I see Annie then?" I ask surely he won't say no to this.

"No. Annie is currently being taught how to breastfeed and then she will need to relax. Annie needs to recover from giving birth." He says.

"Well after she is done feeding our child can I see her?" I ask.

"She doesn't have a private room. Other infants might be there."

"So let me get this correct, you're saying I can't see my newborn son and now you're saying I can't see my wife either!?"

"This is correct." He says indifferently.

"I couldn't be in the room with her and now I can't even see her!"

"She needs to recover."

"Please let me see her or my child."

"You can't see Annie right now because she is with your child and you can't see your child because risk of an infection."

"But-"

"Why don't we just let Finnick see his son in the nursery?" Molly says. "He won't infect anyone there."

"Fine. But he has to walk there."

"But-"

"That's the condition."

"Alright." I mumble. "Then can I see Annie?" I ask.

"We will try and get Annie a private room so you can see her but she's okay Finnick. She did very well."

"I should've been with her."

"She did perfectly fine with just her mother with there."

"Whatever." I mumble.

"Molly tell us when his son is in the nursery."

She nods and they both leave.

**Annie POV**

Nick has only been alive for less than a week and I already feel like I'm messing up. The nurses do most of the work so I can sleep but when I am given him to feed him I don't do well.

I can change a diaper and coax him to sleep usually but when it comes to breastfeeding I always feel like I'm not giving him enough.

"Here you go Mommy." The nurse says as she comes into the room. "It's feeding time." She says and places him in my arms. He smiles and touches my face.

I smile back.

"Hi sweetie." I say to him.

"Annie." The nurse says.

"Oh right." I say and undo a few buttons from my gown. "I don't think I'm doing this correctly. Can't I just give him a bottle?" I ask. I never wanted to breastfeed. Mostly because a bottle would be easier. However, in 13 they don't seem to be fond of that.

"But that is wasteful. You don't need formula."

"But-"

"I'll get a lactation specialist to help you." She says and leaves the room.

"Why are these people mean to Mommy?" I ask Nick who just yawns.

The lactation specialist takes awhile to come in. So I keep trying by myself.

"I know you're hungry. Why won't you stay?" I say frustrated. As the lactation specialist comes in.

The thing that makes this more frustrating is that the other two woman I'm sharing this room with are having no trouble. They also have their husbands with them.

"I hear you're having some trouble Annie?" He asks as he walks towards me.

"Yes." I say.

"What seems to be the problem?" He asks and closes the thin curtain. Not that it matters, the other people can still hear our conversation.

"I just can't tell if I'm doing it right and I can't tell if he's actually getting any." I say worried.

He shows me some techniques for it to be easier and better for him to 'latch' on but it still feels strange.

"Is this supposed to feel like a pinching?" I ask.

"You'll get used to the sensation." He says.

Nick stops and I'm not sure if it's because he's done or if he fell off.

"Is that good?" I ask worried.

"Yes. He's had enough." He says.

"Can I please just use bottles? I don't like this. It's too stressful." I say.

"You seem to be doing well. There is no need to waste this. You'll be fine. We can just go over this again."

"But-" I say.

"Just take a quick nap." He says unamused.

I look down at Nick. He seems to be dozing off.

"He will be in the nursery and he will be taken care of." He says.

"Okay." I say and kiss his head. "Can I see my husband then?" I ask.

"I'll ask a nurse." He says and is about to take Nick and put him back in his box.

"Let me say goodbye." I say and he nods. "I love you so much." I say and kiss his small head. Nick looks up at me with whimsy. His green eyes are curious. "You'll see me again soon. I love you." I say to him. I don't want to let go of him, but I don't want to make a scene either.

I look up at the specialist .

"Okay." I say and he takes Nick away.

A few minutes later a nurse comes in.

"Can I see Finnick?" I ask.

"Not at the moment. There's still the risk of infection but we're going to try and get you a private room so he can see you."

"And Nicky?" I ask. I can't imagine what it would be like if I couldn't hold my child or hell, see him.

"Just you for now." She says annoyed.

"But-"

"You should take a rest Annie. You must be tired." They keep telling me this. I think they just say it to shut me up.

"But my husband will he get to see Nicky?" I ask worried.

"Eventually." She says.

"But-"

"Don't worry Annie everything will be fine." She says.

"But Finnick needs to see him." I say but she has already left the room.

* * *

**Finnick POV**

He's been alive for almost two days and I still haven't gotten a glimpse. I just want to see him and hold him more than anything. I also want to see Annie more than anything.

"Annie." I whisper and twirl the sheets around.

I wonder how she is. I wonder what she is doing. I wonder what she looks like.

"Annie." I say again.

I grip the sheets and close my eyes.

I hear the door open and bolt up. I must've fallen asleep.

I see my physical therapist and she smiles.

"Jenny-"

"You can see your son now."

"I can see him?" I say excited and surprised.

She nods.

"Just in the nursery." She says firmly.

I nod.

"You're going to be walking there though." She says.

"I know." I say and get out of bed slowly. It still feels strange walking but, I'm assuming I will get used to it. If I don't, that isn't the worst thing in the world.

The walk is longer than I thought it would be though. We had to stop a few times. Jenny tells me this is normal but I still feel somewhat ashamed. I used to be able to run a mile without barley breaking a sweat. Now I can barely walk a hundred feet without needing to stop. It isn't exactly helping that I can only see partly.

We get to the nursery which is basically just a room that has glass walls so you can see all the babies.

All the newborn babies are wrapped up like all look so small and helpless. I can't make out the names on the charts so I can't even tell which baby is mine.

"Which one is he?" I ask Jenny

"Second row, third from the left." She says.

There's my son. I think as soon as I see the box that holds him. I can't really get a good look at him or tell if Annie officially named him but at least I can see that he is alright and alive.

"Are you sure I can't hold him?" I ask. I don't know why I keep asking this. I know the answer will be no and every time I hear that my heart hurts. However, it is a bit different because he is just fifteen feet away.

"You may not." Jenny says gently.

"But-" I say and press my hand to the glass. "He's right there." I say sadly

"I'm sorry Finnick but you can't." She says.

I sigh.

"Can I at least see Annie now?" I ask hoping I can at least see her.

"No." She says not as gentle. I wonder why that is.

"Please. I want to make sure she is okay." I beg.

"She's perfectly healthy. She's getting her rest and we are working on getting her a private room."

"Private room?" I ask confused.

"She is currently sharing with two other mothers. If we get her a private room you can see her." She says.

"How long will that take?" I ask.

"A week to a couple of days." She says.

"Can't Annie come see me?" I ask.

"No. Annie shouldn't be walking around much. She just needs to rest and... bond with your child."

"But I don't get to bond with him. He's not going to understand who I am. By the time I see him, he might think a nurse is his father."

"Finnick this won't last that long." She says gently.

"You don't know that." I say and press my hand to the glass. "Can you at least move him closer so I can get a better look at him." I plea.

"Yes, that I can do." She says. At least I can get a better look at him.

They shuffle some babies around until he is in front of me. I'm still not as close as I would like to be but I can see him better.

He's beautiful. He's perfect. I just wish I could hold him.

"Finnick." I hear a few minutes later.

"Yeah?" I say not taking my eyes off of him. I notice Annie officially named him. It's Finnick Odair but she gave him a middle name as well, Jason. I know it's after my brother. We didn't talk about middle names but I don't have a problem with it. Annie knows this as well. I'm honestly a little greatful for this. She loves me so much.

"You need to go back to your room now." Jenny says and tugs on my gown.

"But-"

"Finnick you need to lie down and they want to give you more medicine." I'm curious what medicine they will give me. They're still playing around with my drugs but I feel fine on what I'm on now. They should just leave it alone.

"But-"

"You'll see him again."

"When do you think I can hold him?" I ask. "When do you think I can see Annie?" I ask.

"I don't know that information right now."

It's not like I can run away from her because I can't run at all. I can't even walk without this stupid walker. Besides, I wouldn't even know where to look.

I wish I could see Annie. I wish I could see Nick closer as well but I can't right now, and that scares me.

**Annie POV**

"Mrs. Odair." I hear one of the nurses say as they walk into the room.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Your request for a private room has been approved. There is one open now." She says.

"So I'm being moved there now?" I ask excited.

"That's right." She says.

"Can I see Finnick then?" I ask.

"Possibly." She says.

"Thank you." I say as she starts to move me. I've been in this place for a few days and I can finally see Finnick again.

"Here you go." She says. It's just a hospital room. Except there is a door and I'm all alone. It's not like Finnick's room in the ICU, it's not that big.

"I'll call the ICU and tell them you're in a secure room now." The nurse says and leaves.

"Finnick." I whisper.

It's been an hour and I haven't heard anything about Finnick.

I hear a soft knock on my door and then it opens.

I don't know why they knock when they are just going to come in anyways.

I see the nurse who was in here before.

"So have you talked to them? Can Finnick come see me?" I ask.

She nods.

"He's closer than you think." She says with a smile.

I look confused but then understand when Finnick walks into the room.

"Finnick!" I say as he comes into the room.

I want to get up and run to him but I know I would get scolded.

"Annie." He says and sits next to me.

He hugs me and then kisses me.

I lean against his chest and rub my hands up and down his back.

"You only get a few hours Finnick." The nurse says.

"But that's-" I start.

"You're lucky he's getting that." I hear the nurse mutter as she leaves.

"Don't worry Annie I'm here now." He whispers and kiss the top of my head.

I just hold onto Finnick for awhile. We don't talk and we don't need to either. We now know that we are both okay. Well Finnick knows I'm okay. I wonder if he's seen Nick.

"Have you seen him?" I ask and look up at him.

"I saw him in the nursery he's beautiful." Finnick says with joy in his voice.

I smile.

"Yes he is. He looks like Daddy with his green eyes." I say with a smile.

Finnick nods but, doesn't look very enthused.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I wasn't close enough to tell what eye color he had. They won't let me hold him either." Finnick says.

"Oh." Is all I say. I can't imagine not being able to hold him. Not being able to be close enough to see his eye color. I thought they would've let him by now.

I clear my throat.

"Finnick maybe if I sign something, they'll let you see him." I say.

Finnick smiles.

"I would love that but, what if something is actually wrong with me."

"Finnick, the people you are around don't get sick. I don't think anything will happen if you hold Nick." I say.

"I don't want to take that chance. I don't want to hurt our son." He says.

I'm not going to argue with him. I wonder what they have been saying to him.

"So were you okay?" Finnick asks and kisses my cheek.

I'm debating if I should lie or tell him the truth.

"It was okay." I say. "I really wanted you there." I say and reach for his hand which he happily takes.

"I really wanted to be there. I was worried about you." He kisses the top of my head. "I was worried if you were in pain or if you needed me." He says.

"Well I have you now." I say. Finnick nods and kisses me.

I look at him and can see the sadness in his eyes. I couldn't imagine being in Finnick's position.

"Don't worry Finnick, you won't miss another one of his birthdays." I say.

Finnick nods.

"I know but… this was the most important one. I didn't get to see him breathe or blink for the first time." Finnick says sadly.

"It wasn't that exciting." I say and run my fingers through his hair.

"Annie I know you cried because of how happy you were." He says.

"Well after pushing out a baby and having the pain go away I think you would cry too." I say and he smiles. "I love you Finnick and maybe you will get to see that one day." I say.

"I don't think so. It's a miracle Nick is even here." He says.

"Maybe." I say and kiss his cheek. "But that doesn't mean anything." I say and he nods.

"I saw you made the name official though." Finnick says and I nod.

"Is it alright?" I ask knowing he must have seen the middle name.

"It's perfect." He says and kisses my forehead.

"I think so too." I say and lean into him.

"What else have you been doing in here?" He asks and kisses the top of my head.

"Thinking about you. I mostly sleep. Hold Nick." He nods. "But other than that they are trying to get me to breastfeed but I don't like it. I think a bottle would be better." I say.

"Have you told them this?" He asks.

"Multiple times. They gave me that look people from here do when you waste something." I say. "But it just stresses me out because I'm not good at it. It also hurts a little." I say.

"I can talk to them." Finnick says because he knows I don't do well with confrontation.

"It's okay. I'll just get used to it." I say somewhat uncomfortable. They have been telling me this the whole time but it isn't helping.

"Annie I don't want you to do something you don't want to. Especially since it is our child. We should choose how to raise him." Finnick says.

I smile. He is right.

"Okay but please be nice." I say.

"I'm always nice." He says and kisses me.

"I'm serious I know you don't like these people." I say.

"Do you?" He asks.

I swallow hard.

"They kept you alive but they are also keeping you here which I don't like. I want to go home." I whisper.

Finnick leans in and kisses my forehead.

"I want that too." He says.

We hear a knock on the door.

"Was that really a few hours?" Finnick asks.

"I didn't think so." I say as the nurse comes in.

"It's time to leave Finnick." The nurse says.

"Can't he stay longer." I say.

"No, because feeding time is going to be soon and I was told Finnick couldn't be around your son." The nurse says.

"But you said a few hours." I say worried.

"Well it looks like my estimation was off." She says more gently.

Before I can say anything else Finnick kisses me.

I look at him confused.

"I'll see you later Annie." He says sadly.

"But-" I say.

"It's not like we can talk our way into changing their mind. I know. I've tried." He kisses me.

"But-"

"Don't worry I'll see you soon." He says and cups my face. "And don't worry I'll talk to them." He whispers.

I nod and he kisses me.

"Okay." I say and kiss him. "Next time you come here you'll be able to hold him." I whisper back.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep." He whispers sadly.

"I'll try my hardest then." I say.

"Okay." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too." He says and kisses me.

"Finnick-" The nurse starts.

"I'm going." He says annoyed and stands up slowly.

The nurse helps him out of the room and then he leaves. I don't even know when I will see him again.

* * *

She brings my son into the room which must mean it is feeding time. When they take him to the nursery and bring him back I know it's feeding time and so does Nick.

I pick him up and hold him against me.

"I'll be right back." The nurse says probably getting the lactation specialist.

"I got to see Daddy." I whisper to him. "He looks good. He wants to hold you more than anything." I kiss his head. "He loves you more than anything too. I want him to see you more than anything too. I want him to look happy. I like it when Daddy is happy." I say and kiss his head. I do like when Finnick is happy these days. I like to see that emotion on his face. It has been appearing more and more but I still want to see it. Besides, I know this will be different because Nick is a part of him.

I kiss the top of Nick's head.

"I love you." I whisper. "And Daddy loves you too."


	229. Chapter 229

**Chapter 229**

I got discharged from the hospital a few days ago. I was happy because I was tired of being around the nurses. They were being painfully obviously judgmental the whole time and it wasn't helpful that Finnick still wasn't there. It was also being in the hospital so long. In thirteen they have you stay a few weeks where as in four they only have you stay a couple days. I guess that is how it is done here. Like lots of things done here I don't get it but I guess it doesn't matter.

The last few days in the hospital I finally convinced them to let me bottle feed Nick. I'm thinking Finnick talked to them. He said he would. And Finnick is the person who can convince anyone to do anything. However, that isn't really a good thing knowing why that is.

Even though Nick and I got to go 'home' I'm not that happy. I do miss the hospital help but it's harder to be able to see Finnick. I can't leave Nick. Well I can because my Mom would look after him but I don't want to leave him.I've only seen Finnick two more times and Finnick hasn't seen Nick at all.

I keep getting this feeling they don't want Finnick and I to see each other. Which I don't understand.

* * *

I'm trying to sleep. I haven't been sleeping well, mostly because I have a newborn baby. Nick is asleep too and you're supposed to sleep when your baby is. I'm not complaining about that. Although I can't figure out if I would rather sleep or shower more.

I can feel myself about to slip into dream world when I hear a knock on the door.

I sit up and moan. Nick moans as well. I look to his room. It was just a whimper. He isn't awake yet but, if this person does wake him I will be very annoyed.

I wonder who it is though because my Mom just comes in. She doesn't want to wake up Nick and knows that every little noise will.

"Open the door." I hear a familiar voice say.

I back away slightly. I also hear Nick whimper louder.

I sigh and open the door. I just look at her confused.

"What are you doing here?" I ask Johanna angrily. "I thought you didn't want to see me or be here again." I say to Johanna.

She smirks at me.

"The victors don't need to do anything, do they?" I ask worried thinking of that 76th Hunger Games suggestion.

I swallow hard.

She scoffs.

"Not to my knowledge. i just heard Finnick was actually alive." Johanna says.

"How did you hear that?" I ask slightly angry. I wonder who told her.

"Peeta called me. I think they're going to let him leave soon. Katniss got out of solitary confinement if you were interested." She says and pushes her way into the room. She looks around. "I'm liking the new digs." She says and I hear a whimper again.

"Please keep your voice down. I don't want you to wake him up." I say softly.

"Him?" She asks confused.

"My son." I say annoyed.

"You gave birth then." She states.

"Obviously." I say even more annoyed.

"Well where is he, it's the only spawn of Finnick Odair. He's important." She smirks.

I roll my eyes annoyed. I know she is kidding but it bothers me.

"He's sleeping, and I don't want him to be bothered." I say.

"Fine." She snarls. "Just tell me where Finnick is. They wouldn't tell me like its some big secret."

"He's in the ICU." I say.

"Can you show me?" She asks.

"No."

"Just bring the kid and-"

"I can't 'just bring the kid' because they don't want Finnick to see him." I say.

"Really... that's interesting." She smiles.

"Johanna." I say annoyed.

"So, you take care of the kid while Finnick stays in the hospital alone. That seems fair." She smiles.

"I get my Mom to watch Nick sometimes." I say annoyed.

"But you're not seeing Finnick as much as you would like."

"No. Finnick hasn't even got to hold Nick-"

"You named your son after Finnick?"

"Yes." I say annoyed. She looks at me with a sly smile.

"Can't you just sneak the kid in there?" She asks.

"There's too many people for that." I say annoyed.

"Interesting. It's almost as if they want to keep you apart."

I sigh and hear Nick whimper. She's going to wake him up.

"He gonna wake up?" She asks. She almost sounds excited.

"With all this noise probably. Just go to the ICU. You'll find Finnick there." I say annoyed.

"Alright I can take the hint. I'll tell Finnick you and the son love him." She smiles.

"Thanks." I say as she closes the door.

* * *

"Annie?" I hear my Mom say while peaking her head in the door. "Annie can I come in?" She asks.

"I don't care." I say as I'm trying to calm down Nick. He has been crying for hours.

"What's wrong?" She asks worried.

"He won't stop crying. I don't know why he's crying." I say and can feel myself about to cry. "What if he's in trouble?" I say.

"Annie nothing is wrong with him." She says and comes over to us. "Let me hold him." She says and does. She holds him for twenty minutes and gets to calm him down after burping him. Which I already tried.

"Here, go back to Mama." She says but I don't take him.

"How did you do that?" I ask confused and annoyed.

"What?" She asks worried.

"Get him to stop crying. I already did burp him but he wouldn't stop. I can't do it. I don't always understand why he's crying." I whimper and caress his face. "That scares me. I can't take care of him." I whimper.

"Annie you're doing just fine. You'll figure it out." She says.

"But-" I start.

"Maybe you should take a nap and then see Finnick. You haven't seen him in a few days. I think that will make you feel better." She says.

"Okay." I whimper.

She convinces me to go to her room so I won't get woken up if Nick starts crying.

I lie down in the bed and trace circles on the sheets.

I can feel tears fall from my eyes. I can't always figure out why my son is crying. I'm scared that I'm not giving him what he needs. But I'm also scared because Finnick is supposed to be here helping me.

* * *

"Hi Finnick." I say as I walk into his hospital room.

"Hey." He says and kisses me as soon as I am close enough. "I missed you." He says.

"I missed you too." I say. "Did Johanna come and see you?" I ask and he nods.

"It was a more of a one sided conversation." He says with a subtle smile.

"What did she want?" I ask.

"Just wanted to make sure I was still breathing." He says and I nod. Finnick caresses my face. "You look so tired." He says and kisses my cheek.

"I am but I'm still pretty right?" I say and Finnick smiles.

"You're the prettiest girl I know." He says and kisses my cheek. "But really are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm okay." I say technically I'm not lying.

"Is Nick okay?" Finnick asks.

"He's okay." I say but my voice cracks.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I don't always know why he's crying. My Mom helps me. She does it better. I'm doing it wrong and I need you there." I say quickly.

"Annie your Mother has taken care of a baby before." I sigh. "So she has experience." He kisses my forehead. "And I want to be there too."

"Then just leave." I whisper. "We can just go back to District Four. You're fine Finnick." I say.

"They don't want me to leave." He says.

I sigh. I knew this already.

"I don't think they ever want me to." He says.

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"Something Johanna said about how I won't get out of here unless I make a scene or ,if I just leave on my own." He says.

"You can't leave on your own." I say confused.

I hear Molly come into the room and turn towards her.

"Molly?" I ask.

"Yes?" She says.

"Do you know when Finnick will be leaving?" I ask.

She smiles.

"There's just one final test Finnick has to pass. Most of his medical files are already being transferred to District Four." She says.

"Really?" I say making sure I heard correct.

She nods.

"Finnick will be moved out of the ICU and then you'll take the last test." She says looking at him.

"What's this last test?" Finnick asks.

"Once your moved Annie will have to leave."

"Why?" Finnick and I ask in sink.

"So she can bring down your son. You'll get to hold see your son." She says and I smile, "You'll then be discharged within 72 hours if your son is still okay." She says.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" I ask not knowing if I mean Finnick or Nick.

"I don't think anything bad will happen." She says and soon leaves.

"This seems almost anticlimactic." Finnick says.

"Don't worry. It isn't." I say.

An hour later doctors come in and give a similar speech Molly did. They 'dismiss' me to go get Nick.

I don't like that this seems like some type of experiment but if it means we can leave and Finnick can actually see Nick I don't care.

"Come here sweetie." I say and take Nick from my Mom. I explain what is going on and she seems happy.

"Thanks wonderful." She says.

"I know." I say and kiss Nick. "Was he okay while I was gone?" I ask.

"Yes." She smiles. "He's been fed and just got up from a nap so he might be fussy." She says.

"Okay." I say. "But he's going to see Daddy, he'll be happy." I smile.

"I'm sure he will be." My Mom says.

My Mom offers to go to the hospital with me but I decline. I don't need her there.

The walk to the hospital seems to take forever. I soon get told where Finnick is. We are just in the 'normal' part of the hospital. The rooms are not like glass boxes and I doubt all the patients here are between life and death. I had some of my doctors appointments in these halls.

I walk into the room and see Finnick and a nurse.

I hear Nick whimper slightly. I hope he doesn't start crying.

The nurse smiles and leaves. I sit next to Finnick.

Nick looks up and touches Finnick.

"That's Daddy." I say and Finnick smiles. "And Daddy wants to hold you and love you so much." I kiss Nick. "You okay?" I ask Finnick because he has a strange look on his face.

"He's just so beautiful. So perfect." Finnick says and I can tell he is going to cry.

"Do you want to hold him?" I ask him.

"Do you have to ask?" Finnick says with a smile.

I hand him over to Finnick gently.

"Do you got him?" I ask and Finnick nods.

Nick touches Finnick's face and smiles.

I like the look on Finnick's face. It's perfect. I wonder if this is how I looked when I first held him.

"Still feel anticlimactic?" I ask.

"No." Finnick says not taking his eyes from Nick. "He's so tiny." Finnick says.

I nod.

"He was a little smaller before." I say.

"I can't even imagine that." Finnick says and looks up at me. He kisses my cheek and looks me in the eyes.

"We're parents." He says.

"Yes we are." I say with a smile. Finnick kisses me.

"Can you believe what we did? Nick is here because of us." Finnick says. "A whole new person." He whispers.

I smile.

"I know it's pretty amazing. I still haven't gotten over it." I say.

"He's here because of our love for each other." Finnick says. He sounds like he did on our wedding day. Not just the happiness but the sappiness as well.

"Yeah." I kiss Finnick. "And we get to go home soon." I say.

"Home." Finnick smiles and looks down at Nick. "You're going to see home. You're going to see outside and the sea." He says and kisses his forehead.

I smile.

I guess it wasn't as anticlimactic as I thought it would be.


	230. Chapter 230

**Chapter 230**

"Big yawn." Finnick says to a sleepy Nick.

"He's tired." I say and reach for him but Finnick moves slightly. "Finnick you have to go to therapy which means you have to let go of him." I say and kiss his cheek.

Finnick hasn't really let go of Nick since he was placed in his arms. I don't blame him. It took Finnick forever to be in the same room with Nick.

Finnick hasn't just taking a liking to holding him. He's also has done lots of diaper changing, baths, feeding, burping, and any other thing you need to take care of a baby.

I think we will be able to leave soon. I just wonder what home actually looks like.

I also want to talk to Finnick about where we will be living.

"I know I have to let go but, look at that face." He says and I look down at Nick who is almost asleep.

"Finnick I know he looks adorable when he is sleeping but you have to go to this. I think it is part of the final test."

Finnick rolls his eyes.

"I know but I love him so much." He says and kisses the top of his head. "I never thought I could love something so much."

"I know." I say and Finnick gently hands Nick over to me. Nick leans into my chest.

"Finnick since Jenny isn't here yet can we talk about something?" I say.

"Why so serious?" He asks.

"Because it's about where we are going to live." I say.

"We're going back to 4, right?" He asks worried.

"Yes we are going back to 4-"

"Aren't we just going to live in the Village?" He asks.

"Demetrius burnt down our house. There's nothing left for us there." I say and look down at Nick.

"My house is still there. We could live there." He says.

I rub my lips together.

"You never wanted to go back there." Finnick states.

"It's just... I can't be there anymore." I looks down at a sleeping Nick. "Too much has happened there. The reason I was there was because I 'won' the Hunger Games. I never really liked living there. You made it better but…"

Finnick nods.

"I understand." He says,

"I just don't want Nick to be brought there. He's part of the new life. The good life that we have now. I don't want to take him back to the terrible place. I don't want to go back to the place where Mommy and Daddy suffered." I say and can feel tears form in my eyes.

"Annie it's okay. He never has to go there." Finnick says gently.

"Okay." I say and nod.

"But I do."

I look at him strangely.

"I need to get things from my house. Things I need to keep. Besides, you have stuff there too."

"That's okay but we aren't going to live there." I say.

"I understand." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

The door then opens and I see Jenny, his physical therapist.

"Are you ready? I can give you a few minutes." She says probably telling I'm about to cry.

"You can take him." I say and Finnick smiles.

"Love you." Finnick says and kisses me. "And you." He says to Nick.

Finnick leaves the room and I sigh.

I know we aren't going to be living in the Village and I'm glad Finnick was okay with that too but, I wonder where we are going to live.

I look down at Nick.

"What do you think sweetie? Where do you want to live?" I ask.

* * *

Finnick comes into the room.

He kisses me.

"Where's Nicky?" He asks slightly worried.

"My Mom has him." I say and Finnick nods.

"Speaking of your Mom I was thinking of the whole living situation."

"Finnick we can't live with her forever." I say.

"I know. Which is why you should listen to my idea."

I smile.

"Okay." I say.

"We could live in the house I grew up in." He says.

"What?" I ask confused.

"My parents old house. If nothing bad happened to it. After all we don't even know what District Four looks like."

"My Mom said it wasn't that bad but, she could've just been saying that to make me feel better." I say.

"My point." He says and I nod. "So how do you feel about this?" He asks.

"I like it but, I'm surprised you are suggesting this." I say.

"Why?" He asks confused.

"Because of Michael." I say.

"What about him?" Finnick asks confused.

"Michael lived there after you were forced into Victors Village. He lived there with your brother and sister. Sometimes he wouldn't let them see you. That all happened in that house Finnick." I say.

"I know." Finnick says softly. "But Michael wasn't always there." He says and I nod. " "However I do want to make some renovations because of the whole Michael situation. Some things in that house need to be changed." He says and I nod.

"Can I make some suggestions?" I ask with a smile.

"You may." He says.

"I want a big kitchen. That is one thing I liked about the Victors Village house."

"Okay." Finnick says.

"I also want Nick to have a nice play room or rooms." I say.

Finnick smiles.

"You're going to spoil him so much Annie." Finnick says.

"I have every right." I say. "How are we going to make these renovations though?" I ask.

"We hire people. I'm sure many are looking for work." He says and I nod.

"We'll probably over pay them." I say.

"It's not like we don't have the money." He says and I nod.

We will pay very generously. We are still going to get our Victor winnings even though we have a new government. Paylor said it would be fair to still give us that at the very least.

"So this good?" He asks.

"Yes." I say and smile. "We get to go home soon." I say happily.

"We do." Finnick says. "And I can't wait."

"Neither can I." I say. "I also can't wait to bring Nick there."

Finnick smiles.

"He's going to love it."

"How could he not." I say.


	231. Chapter 231

**Chapter 231**

"Are you sure we have everything?" Finnick asks while looking around our compartment.

"Yes. It's not like we packed anything Finnick." I say as Finnick and I are collecting the things we are going to take back to District Four. Finnick finally got the okay to leave the hospital which means we can finally go home.

We aren't taking much with us. Well, we didn't have much to start with. I wanted to take home my wedding dress to remember the day. But the real reason we came back here was to grab things for Nick for the hovercraft ride. Four is a couple hours away. So he might get hungry or need a diaper change.

"I think we have everything we need." I say with a smile.

"Are you sure?" Finnick asks worried.

"Finnick why are you so worried?" I ask and shift Nick in my arms.

"I just don't want to forget anything because we are never coming back here." He says gently.

"I know." I say and kiss Nick's head.

"You can look around a few more times but, they aren't going to hold the hovercraft for us forever. They have strict order here." I say.

"I know." Finnick says and roll his eyes.

"The important thing is that you have all your medical stuff because I don't plan on coming back." I say.

"Relax, I got it Annie." He says and holds up a bag.

"Good." I say and look down at Nick in his baby carrier. "Daddy better have everything." I say and Nick giggles.

"Besides, they will ship it to District Four if I forgot." He says.

"You sure?" I say.

"I'm sure." He smiles.

"Okay." I say. We spend a few more minutes looking around to make sure we have everything. Then myself, Finnick, Nick, and my Mom head down to the hovercraft station.

We get in and then start to rise.

I hear Nick moan. Probably from the loud noise. I take off the carrier so I can hold him.

"You're okay sweetie. We are just going home."

Finnick smiles across from me.

"Where would you like to be dropped off?" The driver asks.

"District Four." Finnick says.

"Which part?" He asks.

"Can you make two stops?" I ask.

"Yes Miss." The driver says politely.

"One in Victors Village and one at the town square." Finnick says looking at me for confirmation.

I nod. The hovercraft probably can't land next to my Mother's house and the town square isn't very far away from there.

We mostly sit in silence for the ride. It's mostly because Nick keeps crying. He doesn't like the loud noise and the flying sensation.

"You're okay sweetie." I say and kiss him.

"Let me." Finnick asks gently. I give him to Finnick carefully. Finnick gets him to calm down some and then Nick falls asleep.

"You're okay." I whisper to Nick.

"Yes he is." Finnick smiles.

* * *

6

"Victors Village." The driver says as the hovercraft starts to land.

"Alright I'll see you soon." Finnick says.

"Make sure to have Pearl help you." I say. Finnick will be bringing a few things back now. Not much. I know the real reason he wanted to be dropped off in Victors Village was to see her.

"Don't worry, I will." He says and kisses me. He stands up and walks out slowly.

A few minutes later the hovercraft is being dropped off in the middle of the square. Nick rustles in my arms but doesn't wake up.

We start to collect everything and then head off to go home.

The hovercraft leaves once we are a safe distance away.

I then look around District Four. It isn't as bad as I had expected. Then again, I was in thirteen for a very long time. There was plenty of time to fix what had been destroyed. I can see some debris lying around and some damaged houses but not much. This makes me feel better. My Mom did say District Four wasn't in bad shape. I'm glad she was telling the truth.

We make it back to my Mother's house. We drop everything near the door.

The first thing that happens is my Mom sets up the bassinet for Nick's room. He needs to sleep and we need somewhere to place him that is more comforting.

We didn't get to take a lot from his room in thirteen but, they gave us some things. The bassinet, some bottles, formula, diapers, a carrier, and some outfits. We will have to go shopping soon but I think we can put that off for a bit.

My Mother gets the bassinet set up fairly quickly and I place Nick in it. He looks so peaceful.

I smile.

I'm about to start unpacking some of stuff when I hear the door open.

"That was fast." I say expecting Finnick but, when I turn I see Lana. She runs over and hugs me.

"You're okay." She says.

"And so are you." I whisper.

She lets go of me and smiles.

"I thought-"

"Me too." I say.

She looks over my shoulder.

"Who's baby is that?" She asks but I get the feeling she already knows.

"Mine and Finnick's." I say.

"Oh my god." She says and hugs me again.

She soon lets go and kneels down to get a better look at Nick.

"He looks like Finnick." She smiles.

"I know." I say. "You should see how green his eyes are."

"He's beautiful." She says. She looks up at me. "What's his name?" She asks.

"Finnick but, we call him Nick." I say

"I love it." She whispers and smiles. "Married and have a child. You're growing up." She teases.

"I know." I say.

"Did it hurt when you gave birth?" She asks and I nod.

"It hurt worse because they wouldn't let Finnick in the room with me."

"That's awful." She says.

I nod.

"Finnick and I thought so too." I say and she nods.

She looks towards Nick and smiles.

"Speaking of your wedding, you looked beautiful." She says.

"Thank you." I say.

"Where did you get the dress?" She asks.

"It was Katniss'." I say.

"That's why it looked familiar." She smiles probably remembering it from her Victory Tour. "You looked beautiful and so happy when you got married. But, I was a little disappointed."

"Why?" I ask confused.

"Because I wasn't there. When we were little we would always talk about how we would be each others maid of honor." She says. "But I'm really happy for you. I honestly never thought you would marry Finnick." She says.

"I never thought I would marry him either." I say and she nods. "And I missed you on my wedding day. My Mom too.

"Maybe you could get married again. I mean here." She smiles.

"Maybe. That won't happen anytime soon." She says.

"So where's Finnick?" She asks. I can hear the worry in her voice.

"He wanted to see Pearl." I say and she nods.

"That's good. Is he okay?" She asks.

I tell her about what happened to him in the Capitol and what happened afterwards in 13. I told her about how some of his veins are visible on his body.

It isn't as bad as it was at first. Most of them have gone away. But most of the ones on his neck and upper shoulder stayed. I know he doesn't like because you will almost always be able to see them.

I also told her that he lost an eye and a leg. She has a look of pure composure on her face the whole time.

"Can he walk and stuff?" She asks.

"Not by himself. He needs a cane." I say and she nods. "He's happy about that though because he used to need a walker."

"Interesting." She says.

"Yup. The cane is the last step before walking on your own and I know they are practicing that a lot in his physical therapy." I say and she nods.

Lana helps myself and my Mom unpack. She comments on our lovely 13 jumpsuits.

When Nick wakes up she holds him and says he's the most adorable baby she has ever seen.

When everything is finished we sit on the sofa and talk.

I look up at my Mom and Lana.

"Do you care if I shower?" I ask. I want to take a shower longer than ten minutes. I never felt fully clean in 13.

"Of course you can sweets." My Mom says.

"Okay. Take care of Nicky." I say to her.

"I will, don't worry." She says and I head upstairs.

I take a long shower and feel better when massaging the soap into my skin. It makes me feel relaxed. I didn't know how much I missed taking a shower longer than ten minutes.

When I finish I walk downstairs and see Finnick has come back and is talking with Lana. I also see Pearl.

I head downstairs.

"Annie." Pearl says and hugs me. I'm still in my bathrobe. It's not like I'm naked underneath but I feel a bit awkward.

"Hi Pearl." I whisper and she lets go of me.

"You look wonderful." She says.

"Thank you." I say. I know why she is saying this. It's because of how Finnick looks. She probably thought I would look the same way. "Have you seen your great grandson?" I ask and she nods.

"He's so beautiful. He's perfect. I also loved the name Annie." She says.

"I'm glad you think so." I say. Finnick doesn't know it but if it was a girl I was going to name her Marci, after his sister.

After Pearl and Lana leave my Mother does as well to go and get some things from the Victors Village house but I really think she wanted Finnick and I to be alone for a bit.

"It was nice to see them all again." I say and Finnick nods.

"I know. Gran was so happy when I told her about Nick." He says and I smile.

"I know. I could tell when she held him."

Finnick nods.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"It's just her and Lana."

"What about them?" I ask.

"They looked at me strangely."

"Finnick it's a bit of a shock. I probably looked at you the same way. You were passed out so you didn't see but, we all still love you and it's not like they will look at you like that forever." I say and kiss his cheek.

He nods.

"Your Mom doesn't look at me like that." He says.

"Correct." I say.

I nod.

"I like being home." I say trying to change the subject.

"Me too." He says.

"When I took my shower it felt like heaven." I say.

"Because it wasn't ten minutes?" He smiles and I nod. "We get to sleep in too." Finnick says.

"Well not really." I say and look towards Nick.

"You got me there." He says and kisses me. "While I was out I looked at my parents house and it looks okay. I want to have someone look at it before renovations but I think we won't be staying here that long." He says and I smile.

"Good." I say. "How does it feel for you? To be home." I ask.

"It feels awesome to not be in a hospital." He says and kisses me again.

I smile.

"I can imagine." I say truthfully even though I was with him a lot I still got to leave the hospital.

Finnick and I sit down on the couch and I lean against him.

"I feel safe now." I whisper. I never truly felt safe in 13. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I was just intimated while being there.

"Me too." He says and kisses the top of my head.

I look towards Nick.

"I feel more comfortable taking care of Nick here."

"We grew up here, that's why." Finnick says.

"I hope Nick feels the same way." I whisper.

"He will because we are going to be the best parents." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.

I lean into Finnick and feel the most comfortable I have been in a long time and I know it's because we're home.


	232. Chapter 232

**Chapter 232**

Hospitals. Jumpsuits. Needles. Pain. Blood. Finnick. Finnick. Finnick!

I bolt awake and scream.

I then hear the small cries of my son.

"Oh I'm sorry sweetie." I say and rush over towards him and pick him up. I kiss his forehead. "Mommy was just having a bad dream." I whisper as I rock him back and forth. He isn't crying anymore but he is whimpering.

I have been having recurring bad dreams about Finnick. About him dying in 13. I have nightmares where Finnick doesn't come back to 4 with me. They're so real that I'm sometimes shocked when I find him sleeping next to me.

I sigh.

I shift Nick in my arms and turn towards the bed. I see Finnick isn't in it.

I look towards the clock. It's too early for him to have gone to therapy besides, he wants me to go with him.

"Finnick!" I shout and head downstairs with Nick in my arms.

Finnick and I are still at my Mother's house. We will probably only be here one or two more weeks. We've been home in District 4 for a month.

"Finnick!" I shout again panicked.

"He's not here Annie." I hear my Mom say from the kitchen.

I turn towards her and see her hair is still messy and that she is in her pajamas. I'm glad I didn't wake her. I know Nick has been keeping her up at night.

"What do you mean he's gone?" I ask and switch Nick in my arms. Nick is still fussy from me waking him up.

"He went to check on the house plans. Then he's going to physical therapy."

I look at her confused. Why would Finnick tell her all of this and not me.

"He left a note." She says and holds it up probably sensing my jealously. "He wants you to go meet up at therapy so he can show you the house after." She smiles.

"Can't I see him now?" I ask worried.

"Annie I think he just wanted you to rest here." She says gently.

"But..." I trail off. "I need to get a hold of him. I had a dream and." I look towards Nick and kiss him. "Finnick just didn't come home with us."

"Annie he's fine." She says.

"I need to make sure. I need to call him." "I need to make sure." I whisper again as Nick starts to pull my hair.

"Sweetie Finnick is fine. You'll see him in a few hours." She says.

"But I-" I feel Nick pull on my hair again. "Nicky you don't pull Mommy's hair." I say.

My Mom smiles.

"I need to call Finnick. I need to make sure."

"Annie." She says and comes towards me. She takes Nick from me and I look at her alarmed.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Maybe you should just go back to sleep." I say.

"I can't, not until I make sure." I whimper and reach for the phone. I dial the number and it rings and rings and rings.

"Hello?" I hear someone say confused. It's not Finnick.

"Is uh." I close my eyes and put my hand on my forehead. "Is Finnick there?" I ask.

"Mr. Odair." I hear the person say as the phone gets handed over.

"Hello?" I hear Finnick say confused.

"Finnick? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Are you-"

"Annie I'm fine. Didn't you see my note?" He asks gently.

"I know... I just had a bad dream. I wanted to make sure you were okay." I whimper.

"Annie I'm fine." He says and I can tell he is smiling. " Next time I'll wake you up. Okay?" He whispers.

"Okay." I whisper.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I say.

"Who answered the phone?" I ask.

"The contractor. He's almost done with the kitchen." Finnick says.

"Good." I say.

"He's going to start Nick's playroom then." Finnick says.

"I want approval for that." I say.

"I already clued the guy in. What color did you want his bedroom?" He asks.

"I liked the light green and we could put his name on the wall. With those wooden letter thingys." I say.

"Very descriptive." He says.

"You know what I mean." I say.

"Yes, I do." He says and I can tell he's smiling. "I've gotta go Annie, unless you're not okay." He says.

"I just needed to hear your voice." I whisper.

"Well you heard it." He says. "I'll meet you at the hospital for my therapy." He says.

"Okay." I say.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I say.

"Tell Nicky I love him too." Finnick says.

"Don't worry I will." I say and look towards my Mom as she holds Nick.

"Bye Annie." He says.

"Bye Finnick." I say and hear the phone click.

I head to my Mom and Nick.

"Everything okay?" She asks.

I nod.

"Yeah. I just got overemotional or something." I say and look at Nick. He puts his hand on my face and smiles.

"Well, that's understandable." She says.

I take Nick from her and wipe the droll from his chin.

I kiss his forehead.

"I know." I look down at Nick. "Daddy loves you and so do I." I say to him but he is pointing at something that catches his interest.

I look back at my Mom. "It's strange now though. Things seem normal. Finnick and I are like every other married couple. We have a beautiful son." I kiss Nick's cheek. "We are getting a new house. Finnick and I even argued about what color to paint the kitchen. He thought sunshine yellow would look nice but it was just so bright that it hurt my eyes. But it's just it's-"

"To good to be true?" My Mother smiles.

"I don't know. It's just different. Finnick and I did have good times in the Victors Village house. Lots of things happened there, but even though it was happy and nice." I breathe in and out deeply. "I always had an undesirable unsafe feeling." I say and kiss Nick.

"And now there isn't?" She smiles.

I shrug.

"I dunno. I don't think anyone is watching me in this house or in the other. All I really know is that it's really nice right now." I say.

"And you're worried it's going to stop?" She asks. She already knows the answer.

"Maybe." I whisper.

* * *

"How was your day?" Finnick asks me as we lay in bed. His therapy went excellent. I think he might be able to walk on his own soon. I can't wait for that to happen.

The rest of the day went alright. Finnick showed me what had been done to the house after therapy. The kitchen looks wonderful. It is everything I wanted. I know Finnick could've cared less about what the kitchen looks like. He just needs an oven but not me. I want a nice big table and countertops. Which Finnick was happy to give me.

Finnick and I finally agreed on a nice blue color for the kitchen and not that god awful bright yellow.

It looks nice and I can't wait to move into the house. Start a new life.

"Okay." I say. "I was thinking more about the house." I say

"Something wrong with it?" He asks slightly worried.

"No." I say and he smiles. "It's perfect and I can't wait to move in." I swallow hard. "I can't wait to raise Nick there." I whisper.

"But?" He asks and laces his fingers with mine. I should've known Finnick could see that I was worried. He isn't stupid. He's my husband.

"What?" I ask and look up at him.

"What's wrong?" He asks again.

I shrug.

"It's just… you're happy, right?" I ask and he looks at me confused.

"Of course I am. I married the most beautiful girl, the girl of my dreams, and we have a beautiful son. He's perfect. I have everything I need." He kisses the top of my head. "Are you not happy Annie?" He asks worried.

"I am. I'm just scared." I whisper.

"Why are you scared?" He asks confused.

"Because I don't want the happiness to go away. It feels somewhat normal now Finnick. I just don't want it to go away." I whisper.

"It won't go away." He says and kisses my forehead.

"What if it does?" I say. I hear Nick whimper and sit up quickly.

"It's just a whimper Annie. He's fine." Finnick says and pulls me back down so I'm resting on his chest again. "Everything is okay now." He whispers and runs his fingers up and down my spine.

"How are you still so optimistic?" I whisper.

It's silent for awhile.

"Because I'm alive. Because he is alive." Finnick motions towards Nick. "Because you're alive. We are all still alive even after the hell that has happened to us." He says.

"There is that." I whisper.

"And don't worry." He kisses my cheek. "Everything is okay." Finnick smiles.

I lean into him and trace circles on his shirt.

"I love you." I whisper after awhile.

"I love you too." He says and kisses the top of my head. "It will probably take some time for it to feel safe. But just remember we are safe." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Safe." I whisper back. The statement sounds so foreign but I know he's right. I just hope I can feel it soon.


	233. One Year Later

**One year later.**

"Mama." I make out on the baby monitor. "Mama." I hear Nick whimper.

I hurry into his room and pick him up.

"You're okay sweetie." I say and kiss the top of his head which has just enough baby fluff. It's the same color as Finnick's hair. I'm getting the feelings he'll be the spitting image of him.

I hear a creek in the hallway and feel nervous. I readjust Nick so he is closer to me.

"We're okay Nick." I whisper against my sons head. "We're okay." I say and breathe in and out deeply.

There's nothing to worry about Annie. I think to myself and rock Nick back and forth.

"Mommy's okay." I whisper more for my benefit.

Nick looks up at me with doe eyes and places his small hand on my cheek.

"Mama." He whispers.

"That's me sweetie." I say and kiss the top of his head.

He points towards the door.

"What do you want sweetie?" I ask and turn towards the door but see nothing. "What do you want Nicky?" I ask with a smile.

"Mama." He says.

I kiss the top of his head.

"I love you sweetie." I say and rock him back and forth gently.

"Dada." He says.

"Daddy's not here." I whisper and kiss his head. Finnick isn't here, he left to get something at the docks. I think he is checking on his boat or something. It got moved from the Victors Village docks to the public marina.

"Dada. Dada." Nick whispers.

"Daddy will be home soon." I say.

"Sooner than you might think." I hear Finnick say and jump. I see him leaning against the door frame and I know it's not because he can't support himself.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask.

"As soon as he started asking for me." He smiles.

"I see." I say.

"Mmmh." Nick whimpers and is reaching towards Finnick.

I sigh.

"You're okay sweetie." I whisper and kiss his head.

"Give him to me." Finnick says gently and I do.

Nick snuggles into Finnick but is still fussy.

I rub Nick's back.

"So? Did you do what you needed to?" I ask.

Finnick nods.

"I did but, I want you to see it." He smiles.

"Finnick this mysterious project is making me nervous." I mutter.

"I did mysterious projects all the time."

"I know. You broke things whilst doing it. Screwed up water heaters-"

"But it always turned out okay." He says.

"I guess."

Finnick raises his eyebrows.

"It did always turn out wonderful." I correct.

Finnick smiles.

"See." Finnick says and I roll my eyes. "I'm almost finished with it actually. I wanted to show you." He says.

"Now?" I ask.

"Not now. It's getting late. I meant tomorrow." He says.

"Okay." I say.

"You should put him down. He's asleep." I say looking at Nick.

Finnick nods and we head downstairs.

Finnick can pretty much walk on his own now although stairs still aren't his best friend.

* * *

"Are you sure you can watch him?" I ask my Mom over the phone.

Finnick is taking me to the mystery project today and I want my Mom to watch Nick while we are gone. Finnick and I haven't had time to ourselves in awhile.

"Yes I'm fine taking my grandson sweets." She says happily.

"Okay Finnick and I will see you soon then." I say.

"Bye Annie." She says.

"Bye." I say and hang up.

"You ready?" I ask Finnick as I see him carry Nick this way.

"Yeah and I got everything he will probably need."

"You sure?" I ask.

"Yes Annie, I'm sure and it's all packed up in the stroller." He says.

I investigate what Finnick has packed.

"You sure this is enough diapers?" I ask him.

"Yes. Besides your Mom already has some at her house."

I nod.

"Okay we can go then, I guess." I say and Finnick smiles.

"Don't you want to see Nana?" Finnick asks him and I smile.

Nick points at me.

"Mama." He whispers.

"That's Mommy but what about Nana?" Finnick teases.

"Nana?" Nick says almost like a question.

"That's right Nana." Finnick says.

"Let's go." I say and Finnick puts Nick in the stroller gently.

We make it to my Mom's house and we leave shortly after.

"Okay. Where are you taking me?" I ask Finnick as he leads us away.

"The docks and then the beach. Depending on what you think." He says.

"What do you mean depending on what I think?" I ask confused.

"You'll see." He says with that smile he has when he is very excited.

"I guess I will." I say.

"Here we go." Finnick says as we get to the docks. I see the boat and it looks nice.

I step onto the boat and smile.

"You made me dinner?" I ask as I see the table with some food.

"Yup." He says and takes my hand.

"Was that the big project?" I tease.

"No, we have to sail somewhere to get to that." He says.

"Really?" I ask.

He nods.

"Yup." He smiles. "You can sit down my dear and watch me sail away." He says and I roll my eyes.

I watch Finnick 'sail away' and pick at some of the food he put out. I know his isn't the whole dinner because it is mostly bread.

When Finnick stops the boat I see we are near a secluded beach. Someone must be celebrating something because it is decorated all nice. Fairy lights, paper lanterns hanging by ropes which also have flowers intertwined in them.

"Wonder what's gong on there?" I ask as Finnick drops the anchor.

"You're about to find out." Finnick says and holds out his hand for us to walk onto the beach.

"Finnick I'm pretty sure someone is celebrating something. We can't just walk on the beach." I say.

"Yes we can." Finnick says with a smile.

"Did you-"

"Let's just go to the beach." Finnick smiles.

"But how-"

"Step off the boat Annie."

I look at him confused. Finnick doesn't have enough time to set up something this elaborate. He spends most of his time at home with myself and Nick. When he isn't home he is either at physical therapy, which I go to, or he is visiting Pearl.

"Finnick-" I say.

He takes my hand and we head down the beach towards the decorations.

"Finnick-"

"Don't worry Annie. I set it all up."

"How?" I ask.

"I had some help. Lana specifically." He adds and we get to the table with the actual dinner on it.

The decorations and flowers are nice but you can see the ocean and the sun setting into it.

"Finnick you could've just made me dinner on the boat." I say.

"I know but that wouldn't be good enough. Not to my standards anyways."

I roll my eyes.

"Not over the top and ridiculous?" I tease.

"You know you love it."

I nod

"I know." I say and smile.

Finnick and I get to the table and he pulls out the chair for me before he sits down.

"You're being the gentleman tonight." I smile.

"Because I'm such a brute?" He smiles.

"Yes." I tease.

Finnick made one of my favorite dishes, linguine with calm sauce. There is also that seaweed tinted bread that everyone from District 4 loves.

"So do you like?" Finnick asks and motions around.

"Are you kidding? I love." I say and he smiles.

"Good. I was thinking this was a good spot. I did it at sunset to get the full effect. I was a little worried about the decorations though."

"It's all beautiful. I love it so much." I say and kiss him. "Wait." I say.

"Yes?" He smiles

"What did you mean 'full effect'?" I ask confused.

"Well I figured just a trail run for you and me. I wanted to make sure you liked it."

"What are you talking about Finnick?" I ask.

"Annie, I love you so much." He says and kisses me.

"I love you so much too." I say.

"We've been home for a whole year and things seem to be doing great. You're the best wife and Nick is the best son. Being married to you is the best." He says and I kiss him. "But even though people can see we are all in love and married. They didn't really see us get married. They weren't there to celebrate if you will."

I look at Finnick confused.

"Well there was sort of-"

"So I was thinking we could get married again. Renewing the vows as they call it. That way all the people we love could be there. I was thinking this could be the spot." He says.

"On the beach at sunrise." I whisper to myself thinking of the wedding Finnick described us having.

"Well it will be at sunset." He smiles and so do I. "So what do you think Annie?"

"I love it. All of it."

"So will you marry me, again?" He asks.

"Of course I will." I say and kiss him. "I love you so much." I whisper.

Finnick kisses my cheek.

"I know. I love you so much too." He says.

"So when do we get married?" I ask like a little girl.

"Not that far away. There are still a few more decorations that need to be made." He says.

I nod and kiss him.

"I can't wait." I say.

"Me too." Finnick whispers.


	234. Chapter 234

**Chapter 234**

"Look how handsome he looks." I say to Lana as I hold my son. I kiss his cheek. Nick looks up at me and smiles.

"Gah!" He exclaims.

Lana smiles.

Today Finnick and I are getting married again. It was only a week after Finnick told me his idea. All Finnick really wanted to do was make an arch way and make sure he had something nice to wear.

Not that many people are coming. Just my Mom, Lana, Tiffany, and Pearl. It isn't many people but it's the people we actually wanted to be there on the wedding day.

"I will admit the little suit he has on is cute." Lana says. Finnick and Nick have matching outfits. Pearl insisted on it and you can't exactly say no to her. Finnick and I didn't really mind either.

"Did you hear that? Your Aunt Lana says you look cute." I say to him and kiss the top of his head.

"Bana." He says and points to Lana. He has trouble with his L's

"That's me." She says with a smile.

"You're going to look just like Daddy." I say and kiss the top of his head.

"Dada." He laughs.

"Yup just like Daddy." I say and smile. "The two men I love the most." I say.

"Mama." Nick says.

"Whattie?" I ask. It's not like he will answer back. He can only say the peoples names close to him and hi and bye. He will start talking more soon, or at least I assume.

He leans his head against my chest and plays with my necklace.

"Are you tired Nicky?" I whisper and kiss the top of his head.

He starts nestling into my chest but I readjust him. He looks up at me and has that look when he is about to cry.

"You're okay baby." I whisper and kiss his cheek. "Shhhh. You're okay sweetie." I say and readjust him so I can see his face. "You're okay." I say and kiss his cheek.

I smile when I see he is more calm.

Nick points off into the distance.

"Dada." Nick says.

"Yeah that's Daddy. He looks just like you." I say as Finnick comes closer.

"Hi buddy." Finnick says and kisses Nick's cheek. "Come here." He says and takes Nick from my arms. Finnick is the only person allowed to do that. I get a deep sense of fear whenever someone else takes Nick from me. I don't know why, maybe I'm afraid they won't give him back.

"Dada." I hear.

"Hi Finnick." I say and smile.

"Hi Annie." He says and kisses my cheek.

"You ready to marry me again?" Finnick asks proudly.

"Course." I say with a smile. "And Nicky gets to be here his time." I say. Nick looks at me and smiles.

Finnick nods.

"You look just like me." Finnick says to Nick.

Nick smiles.

"Dada." Nick laughs and I smile.

Finnick looks me up and down and smiles.

"You look beautiful." Finnick tells me and I blush.

I'm not wearing my green dress, but a nice dusty rose dress. This one goes to my knees and is a strapless sweetheart neckline.

"Still blushing after all these years?" Finnick smiles.

"I like being complemented by you." I smile.

"I see." He smiles.

"And my two boys look so handsome." I say and kiss Nick then Finnick on the cheek.

"Yes we do." Finnick says.

I look down at Nick and pat his head.

"Promise you'll be good when Daddy and I talk to each other." I say and kiss the top of his head.

"Talk to each other?" Finnick smiles.

"Read our vows or whatever."

"Ahh." Finnick smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"Do you know what you're gonna say?" I ask and he nods.

"I have a way with words." He smiles. "And you?" He asks.

"I've prepared something." I say.

"I'll be waiting eagerly." He says and I roll my eyes. I lean in and kiss Finnick.

Nick reaches towards me and latches onto my hair, he starts playing with it.

I take Nick's hand away.

"This is how it was supposed to be. At home." He says with a smile.

I smile.

"With our family and friends. This was a good idea Finnick." I say and Nick starts to pull my hair.

"Stop playing with Mommy's hair Nicky. She made it look all pretty." Finnick says.

I smile.

My hair is all wavy instead of the stick straight it usually is. There is also a braid headband like before.

"Excuse me." Lana says and cuts in. "It's almost time unless you don't want it at sunset." She says. Lana is like the wedding planner. She just wants to make sure this will all be perfect. Although with everyone I love here it kind of already is.

"We better hurry." Finnick teases.

Lana sighs.

"Bana." Nick says and points to her.

She smiles and takes him from Finnick.

"Okay so Finnick you need to stand at the alter and I need to give you to Mommy." She says looking down at Nick. "She needs someone to walk her down the aisle." Lana smiles.

I take him from Lana and kiss the top of his head.

"Okay, you ready to do this then?" Finnick asks me.

"Again." I smile.

"Again." He says and kisses me.

"Dada." Nick says.

"Mama and Daddy are gonna get married." Lana says to Nick.

"Mama." Nick says and plays with my hair again.

"Okay come on." Lana says and takes Finnick away.

I see my Mom come over.

"Nana." Nick says and points to my Mom.

"Hi sweetie." She says and pats Nick's head.

"Hi Mom." I say.

"You look beautiful." She smiles.

"Thanks." I smile.

"And Nick looks so cute." She smiles.

"I know. Like a mini Finnick." I say.

"I think he will be but he's already the cutest grandson I've ever seen." She says with a smile.

I nod.

"I'm going to go and sit next to Pearl so you can collect your thoughts." She kisses my cheek.

"Love you Mom." I say.

"Love you too." She says and walks off.

"It's just me and you Nicky." I say after she is gone. "We are gonna marry Daddy." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Mmmh Mama." He says and points off in the distance. He is pointing at Finnick.

"Do you love Daddy?" I ask and he nods. "Do you love Mommy?" I say and he nods.

"I love you Nicky." I say and kiss the top of his head.

Nick and I walk down to meet Finnick.

The sun is just starting to set. It looks nice. This time I'm not nervous mostly because I don't care what these people think of what I say. They just want to listen.

"We are here today to witness Finnick and Annie profess their love to one another again. This time in front of all of the people they love." Lana says. "Finnick, we will start with you." She smiles.

"Annie, when we got married we were in the slums of 13 and a war was going on but, none of that mattered. None of that mattered because I finally got to marry you. I finally got to call you my wife. Annie, you're the person I love the most. I don't deserve you. You've been so patient and kind with me especially after everything that has happened. You're my biggest motivator and you make me want to be a better person every single day. You make me feel like my best self every day. I love you for that. You're also the best Mother to our son. I love you so much and I'm glad I get to marry you again in front of everyone we love." Finnick says with a smile.

"Alright now Annie." Lana smiles. My vows or speech won't be as long or exciting

"Finnick I love you. You've given me everything I ever wanted and some things I didn't even know I wanted. You're everything I need. I love you." I say.

Then Finnick and I kiss and it's like the wedding he described. We all go back to our house and make a nice dinner for us all to eat. I made cake, not as elaborate as the one Peeta made but it is still good. Once Nick started to fall asleep everyone left. It wasn't a fancy or over the top part but it felt right and better than the wedding celebration we had at 13.

"Come here Nicky." I say and dress him in new pajamas. He needed a bath after eating some of the cake. He got frosting all over himself. "Let's go to sleep." I say and kiss his head.

I place him in his crib.

"Mama." He says and reaches for me.

"You're okay sweetie." I say and kiss his forehead.

"Mama." He says and I smile.

"Go to sleep baby." I whisper and leave the room.

"Hi Finnick." I say as I walk into our room.

"Hi Annie or Mrs. Odair." Finnick smiles.

"Are you going to call me Mrs. Odair all night then, like before?" I ask and lie down next to him.

He shakes his head.

"No. I just wanted to say it again."

"You say it all the time."

"I don't get to marry you all the time." He says and kisses my cheek.

"No you don't, but then it wouldn't be as special." I smile.

"I like when I marry you." He pushes hair behind my ear. "Because I realize how much I love you and how lucky I am." He kisses my forehead.

"I love you too Finnick." I say and kiss him. "So much and I love marrying you too." I say. "And I'll never forget it."

"I know and neither will I." I say and kiss him. "Nicky looked cute today." Finnick says.

"Nick looks cute everyday." I smile.

"I meant in his outfit."

"He did, but he isn't a doll."

"I know he's not a doll Annie." He says and shakes his head. "I do love him so much and he loves us too."

"He does and I'm glad I know he's safe, that we're safe." I say.

"We are and I like it too." Finnick says.

We all are safe now and I love that fact and will never take it for granted.


	235. Chapter 235

**Chapter 235**

"Ouch." I say and look down and see I have stepped on one of Nick's toys. One of his pirate dolls. He has sailors, pirates, boats. Traditional District Four themed toys. He also has a teddy bear he can't sleep without. He carries him everywhere, he used to take 'Teddy' to the beach with him when he was three or two. But, he's five now and Finnick and I can convince him to leave 'Teddy' at home now, without having him cry.

I hear small footsteps.

"What's wrong Mommy?" I hear Nick say.

"I stepped on one of your toys Nicky." I scold.

He looks down ashamed knowing he did something wrong. He is supposed to put his toys back in his bedroom or playroom.

"I'm sorry Mommy." He whispers.

"Nick" I say but he is still looking at the floor. "Nicky." I say and he looks up at me. "It's okay sweetie just remember to put your toys away." I say and he nods. He comes my way and picks up his toy.

He hops on the couch and looks down at Peggy his pirate.

"Mama." He says as I'm about to start making lunch. Finnick went to see Tiffany. He finally convinced her to move back to the main land. He is helping her pack her things and move. We offered to hire people to do that for her but she doesn't want strangers going through her things and I don't blame her.

Finnick has been gone for almost a week. He calls every night to make sure to say goodnight to Nick. He would call anyways, he loves us too much. Finnick is coming home tonight and I'm happy. I have something I want to tell him.

"Yes sweetie?"

"Mommy is Daddy a pirate?" Nick asks.

"Why would you ask that sweetie?" I say with a smile.

"Because Daddy has an eye patch… a boat… walks…"

"Sweetie Daddy's not a pirate." I say almost angrily.

"Oh." Nick whispers and looks back down at his toy.

Nick isn't stupid. The people we are around don't wear eye patches or walk with a limp. That's just Finnick. He has never expressed anything like this before, but he is getting older and he is figuring things out pretty quickly.

"I just thought it would be cool." Nick whimpers.

"Sweetie come here." I say and pull him into my lap. "I love you and Daddy loves you but you won't be going on any pirate adventures."

He nods.

"Can Daddy and I make believe when we go on the boatie?" He asks.

I smile.

"I'm sure you can. Daddy likes playing make believe with you." I say and kiss his cheek.

Nick giggles.

"Will you play pirate with us?" He asks.

"Of course I will sweetie." I smile.

* * *

"Daddy!" I hear Nick shout and run towards the door.

"Nicky!" I hear Finnick exclaim. I see them come back into the room with Finnick carrying Nick. I also see Tiffany is here.

"Hi Mimi." Nick says to her.

"Hi sweetie." She says.

"What are you doing here?" He asks her excited.

"I'm here to stay with Mommy and Daddy for a few days." She says and ruffles his hair.

"Mimi do you want to see my playroom! I have lotsa stuff I need to show you!" Nick exclaims.

"Of course sweetie." She says. Finnick sets Nick down and he runs to his playroom with Tiffany following closely behind.

I hug Finnick and he kisses me.

"Missed you." I say.

"Missed you too." He says. "And I can tell Nicky did."

I nod.

"He did." I say. "Has Tiffany found somewhere to live?" I ask.

Finnick nods.

"She wants to stay with us for a few days until it's all set up, that's okay right?" He asks.

"That's fine." I say.

Finnick looks at me strangely.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Something Nick said earlier." I say.

"What did he say?" Finnick asks curious.

"He uh… he uh-" I don't know how Finnick will react to this.

"Annie what is it?" He asks worried.

"He asked if you were a pirate because you had an eye patch, boat, and a limp-"

"What did you tell him?" Finnick asks.

"That you weren't a pirate."

Finnick nods.

"Interesting." Is all he says.

"Although he did say he wants to play make believe with you." I say and Finnick smiles.

"I wonder how long he thought I was a pirate." Finnick says.

"I don't know but it's not like we can tell him Daddy got hurt in a war." I say as we move further away from the playroom.

"Well no... but since he is noticing things he will start asking more things. We need to come up with a story to tell." Finnick says.

"Story?" I ask.

"Well we aren't going to tell him yet are we?" Finnick asks.

"No, I guess a kid friendly version of what to tell him will be alright." I mutter.

"We should be prepared next time he asks a question." Finnick says.

"I guess." I look towards Nick's playroom and see him showing Pearl his chalkboard wall with all of his drawings. "I don't want him to ever know." I whisper.

Finnick sighs and pulls me closer to him as I wrap my right arm around his waist.

"I know." He kisses the top of my head. "But he's going to. They are probably going to talk about it in first grade." Finnick says.

"That's a few years away." I whisper.

"It is." Finnick kisses my forehead.

Nick comes back into the kitchen with Teddy in his arms and yawns.

"I think it's bedtime." Finnick says and picks him up.

"Daddy no!" Nick shouts. "You just got home."

"I'm not going anywhere for a long time." Finnick kisses his cheek.

"You sure Daddy?" Nick whispers and leans his head against Finnick's chest.

"Yes." He kisses the top of his head. "I'm sure."

"Okay because I have losta things I want to tell you. I also want to go out on the boatie."

Finnick smiles.

"We can do that tomorrow." Finnick says and kisses his cheek. "Right now it's bedtime though."

Nick sighs and scrunches his face.

"Mommy will get you ready for bed and then I will read you a story."

"Fine." Nick mutters and I take Nick from Finnick.

I brush Nick's hair, bathe him, brush his teeth, and get his pajamas on.

"Okay Nicky here we go." I say as I place the covers over him. "Daddy will be up to read you a story." I say and kiss his forehead.

"Okay Mommy." He says I'm about to leave the room when I hear. "Wait!" He shouts.

"What's wrong baby?" I ask and hurry over to him.

"Where's Teddy?" He asks worried.

I kiss his forehead.

"He's right here sweetie." I say and pick him up from a shelf in Nick's room.

"Teddy." Nick whispers and presses him to his chest tightly.

I smile.

I remember my stuffed bunny named fluffy. I loved her so much. As much as I loved my Mom and Dad. I know Nick feels the same way about his teddy bear.

I kiss the top of Nick's head.

"Daddy will be up soon." I say and Nick nods.

"I love you Mommy." He says while petting Teddy.

"I love you too sweetie." I say with a smile.

* * *

I hear the door open and turn towards it.

"Finnick?" I ask as the light streams in.

"It's me." He says and lays down next to me.

I breathe in and out deeply.

"Finnick, I wanted to tell you something." I say and Finnick looks at me strangely.

"Why are we being so formal?" He teases.

"I just… I went to see Mrs. Everdeen-"

"Are you sick?" Finnick asks worried and sits up.

"No, not really."

"Don't scare me like that Annie."

"Sorry." I say shaking my head. "That's not what I wanted to tell you though Finnick."

"Well what did you want to tell me?" Finnick asks.

"I'm sorta… pregnant." I say.


	236. Chapter 236

**Chapter 236**

"What?!" Finnick says confused and happy.

"I'm-"

"How?" He asks.

I roll my eyes.

"We already have a kid you know how." I say.

"That's not what I meant it's just..."

"It's just what?" I ask confused.

"This is unbelievable." He says

"Excuse me?" I say slightly offended.

"No, no I meant having another baby. I'll get to be here this time." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

I smile.

"Yes you will." I say.

"Nicky will have a little brother or sister." Finnick says excited.

"Yes he will." I say again.

Finnick clears his throat.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"What if this lizard mutt stuff is like hereditary. What if they end up looking like me?" He asks.

"What, ruggedly handsome?" I smile.

"That's not what I meant Annie. I meant the veins and skin discoloration." He says.

"Finnick I'm sure they will be okay." I say and rub his back.

"But what if-"

"Finnick shh." I say and kiss his cheek. "We're okay and baby will be okay. Besides, if it is hereditary we will still love them." I say.

"But people will look at them strangely, people will think they are dying or something."

"Finnick they'll be okay." I say and kiss him. "Besides we have more than enough time to figure that out."

Finnick sighs.

"Have you told anyone else?" Finnick asks.

"No I wanted to tell you first." I say and Finnick nods. "How do you think Nick will react? He won't have all our attention anymore and Nick is an attention seeker like someone else I know." I say looking at Finnick.

"I'm not an attention seeker." He defends and I roll my eyes. "And Nicky will learn to share. Besides, He has had us all to himself for a good five years."

"Five years." I whisper.

"I know he's getting older Annie but-"

"No not that, well our baby is getting older but he still needs us." I say and Finnick smiles. "I mean it's five years since the war has been over and well freedom." I say.

Finnick kisses me.

"I know and we would've never been able to have the life we have now." He says.

"I know." I say and yawn. "We should sleep." I say and roll over.

Finnick kisses my cheek and wraps his arms around my waist. I feel his hands run over my stomach.

"I love you." Finnick whispers.

"I love you too." I say.

I wake up with my hair in a messy pony tail with a scowl on my face.

I roll over and see the bright sunshine of District Four.

"Daddyyyy when can we leave to see Nana and go fishing." I hear Nick whine in the hall.

"When Mommy is awake." Finnick tells him.

I groan.

"Mommy sleeps too much." Nick complains.

He's right I do sleep too much. I can't sleep though. My back has been hurting and it is almost impossible to. It's probably because I'm eight and a half months pregnant.

Finnick has been delighted and excited this whole time. I like seeing that look on his face whenever we go to the doctors but, I don't like this constant nausea. I don't remember it being this bad when I was pregnant with Nick.

"She's just tired Nicky because of your brother or sister." Finnick says gently. I didn't want to know if it was a boy or girl this time and Finnick is so excited that he doesn't care.

"Well they need to stop." Nick complains. I can sense the jealously already.

"Go downstairs to your playroom." Finnick tells him.

I hear two sets of footsteps one going downstairs and one going into our bedroom.

I feel the bed shift as Finnick sits down.

"Annie." He whispers and rubs my back. "I know you're awake." He says and I can hear the smile.

"I know you know." I mumble. Finnick kisses my forehead. "I heard Nick getting restless out there." I say.

"He can wait for Mommy." Finnick says.

"Maybe you should just go without me." I whisper.

"I'm not leaving you alone." Finnick says protectively.

I smile.

I take his hand and rest it against my cheek.

"Alright then." I say and feel Finnick's finger run up and down my cheek bone. "I'm okay Finnick." I say knowing he is thinking the worst.

"I know." He says and kisses my forehead.

I raise my eyebrows and he rolls his eyes.

"I know you're okay but it seems like you're sick all the time. Was it like this in 13? I was heavily medicated most of the time you were pregnant with Nick."

"Not really but every pregnancy is different." I say.

Finnick nods.

"I just want you to be okay. I don't want anything wrong with you. Both of you." He rubs my stomach.

"I'm fine Finnick." I say.

"I know.!I'm just worried."

"Finnick if you're this worried with me just getting sick I don't know how you will act in the delivery room." I mutter.

"I'm a manly man, I'll be okay." He teases and I roll my eyes. "Do you want some breakfast?" He asks.

"Sure." I nod. "Then we can go to my Mom's." I say.

"Alright then." He says. I stand up but feel dizzy and sit back down.

"What's wrong?" He asks worried.

"Head rush." I say and Finnick nods.

I stand up in a few minutes and feel better. Finnick and I head for the door and as soon as I open the bedroom door I am hit with a wall of foul smells. It is like my nostrils are melting.

"What did you make for breakfast?" I ask.

"Just omelettes. Nick had one with cheese and I had one with cheese, mushrooms,tomatoes, and peppers."

"It's the peppers then." I mutter.

"Sorry." He says.

"Not necessary." I reply it isn't Finnick's fault.

I sit down on the couch and Finnick heads to the kitchen.

"Here." Finnick says and gives me a water bottle.

I take it even though I don't need it.

"Thanks." I say and he nods.

"What do you want to eat?" Finnick asks.

"You can make me an omelet too but just with cheese." I say and he smiles.

"Alright then." He kisses the top of my head and smiles.

I see Nick hurry in here.

"Mommy you're awake." He says and sits next to me.

"Yes I'm awake." I say with a smile.

"Can we go see Nana now?" He asks.

"In a few hours sweetie."

He sighs and I feel his hand on my stomach.

"Is brother or sister hurting you?" He asks and rubs my stomach.

"No brother or sister aren't hurting me." I say.

"But they make you sick." He says.

"I know but that's okay." I say.

"I don't understand Mommy." He says and snuggles closer to me.

"You will one day." I whisper and wrap my arm around him.

He leans his head gently on my belly it looks like he is trying to hear something.

"What are you doing Nicky?" I ask.

"I want to hear them Mommy." He says.

"You'll have to wait Nicky."

He sighs.

"Waiting is boring." He says.

"I know." I rub his back. "Do you want a brother or sister?" I ask.

"Brother." He says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because they could play with me on the boatie." He says.

I smile.

"Your sister could do that too."

"I guess." He mumbles.

I smile.

"Do you want a brother or sister?" He asks. I smile. I guess he doesn't know the terms son or daughter yet.

"I just want someone else to love." I say with a smile.

I feel a kick and Nick backs away scared.

"It's okay sweetie brother or sister is just moving around." I say.

"Really!" He shouts with joy.

"It's because they can hear our voices. They know we love them." I say and Nick smiles.

"I love them too." He says and kisses my stomach. That's too precious.

"Me too sweetie." I say and kiss his cheek.

I hear Finnick walking in here.

"Here you go Annie." Finnick says and hands me my omelette.

"Thanks." I say and take it from him.

"After you are done eating can we see Nana?" Nick asks excited.

"Mommy has to get dressed and ready." Finnick says.

He groans.

"I know, waiting is boring." I tell Nick.

&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;/&amp;&amp;/

We finally head to my Mom's house but after I ate that omelette I just kept feeling worse and worse. Maybe it is the eggs, maybe the cheese. Who knows?

"Finnick, I think I should just stay at home." I say and rub my stomach.

"We should all just go back home then." He says.

"Finnick you can go on the boat with Nick. I just think the rocking and smell of fish-"

"We can all just go home I'm sure Nick will understand." He says.

"He's a good boy but he's only five Finnick. You two can go and I'll see you back at home in a few hours."

"Annie no. I can't miss anything again." Finnick says.

"Is that why you don't want to leave my side ever?" I ask surprised.

"Well that and I love you." He says.

"Finnick-"

"Annie you don't know what it was like last time." His gaze goes elsewhere I'm assuming he's looking at Nick. "I couldn't be there for you and I didn't get to see it all. I can't miss anything." He says.

I hug him and rest my head on his chest.

"You're not going to miss anything Finnick." I kiss his chest. "You can be gone for a few hours. The only thing you will miss is me sleeping and possibly throwing up." I say.

"But-"

"I'm not going to have the baby or anything." I say. "Besides, Nick might not be able to go on the boat for a while after the baby is born." I say.

Finnick sighs.

"But what if you do go into labor?" He asks worried.

"Then we will have a lot more to worry about than you missing the birth." I say sadly.

Finnick nods.

"I just want to be here for everything this time." Finnick says and rubs my stomach.

"You have been." I kiss his cheek.

I feel someone near me.

"Mommy, Daddy are we going to leave soon?" Nick asks and I look at Finnick.

I'm about to make up some lie about how the weather will be bad but Finnick starts talking.

"We will but, Mommy is gonna go home." Finnick says.

"Why?" Nick asks worried.

"Because Mommy needs to do something for your brother or sister." Finnick says.

"Okay." Nick says sadly.

Finnick nods.

"Say goodbye to Nana sweetie." I say and he skips off.

"Thank you." I say to Finnick.

Finnick kisses my forehead.

"Well you're right about Nick. It won't be all about him anymore." Finnick whispers.

"He'll be okay with it eventually. He will just have to readjust a bit." I say.

"I think we will all have to do that." Finnick says.

"Just a smidgen." I say.

"Just a smidgen." He repeats and kisses me.

**A/N: The story is sadly almost over :(. But before it ends I want a little input from you readers. For Annie and Finnick's next child do you want a boy or girl? Leave a comment or answer the poll on my profile. Thanks!**

**-Susan**


	237. Chapter 237

**Chapter 237**

"Mommy." I hear Nick say.

I look up and see he is standing in the doorway of what will be his brother or sister's room. It was his upstairs playroom. Surprisingly he wasn't that upset when we told him that he wouldn't have a playroom up here anymore.

"Yes sweetie?" I say trying to set up the diaper changing table. I'm due next week so I want to get ready.

"Daddy wanted me to tell you that uhh Kachniss and Peeter are here."

"Katniss and Peeta?" I say and he nods.

They were supposed to come today. Katniss wanted to see her Mom. The last time they came to visit us Nick was only three but we still call and write letters. They love when we send pictures of Nick.

I don't know how often they come to visit Mrs. Everdeen but from what Mrs. Everdeen says about Katniss' life it is obvious they speak with one another regularly.

"Let's go see them then." I smile.

"Mommy, wait." Nick says afraid.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I ask.

"Who are they?" He whispers.

"They're friends." I kiss his cheek.

"They've seen you before. The last time you saw them Peeta gave you cookies." I say.

"I get cookies!" He shouts excited.

"I don't know sweetie." I say.

"Okay." He grumbles.

"Come here sweetie." I say and take his hand.

"Can I take Teddy downstairs with me?" He whispers.

"Yes." I say and we go to Nick's room to retrieve Teddy before we head downstairs.

I see Finnick, Katniss, Peeta in the kitchen talking.

"Look who you found." Finnick says with a smile and they all turn this way.

"I found Mommy." Nick says staying close to me.

"Yes you did." I say and pat his head.

"Do you remember Katniss and Peeta?" Finnick asks Nick and picks him up.

Nick shakes his head and then conceals his face in Finnick's chest.

"They remembered you." Finnick says and kisses the top of his head. "Peeta made you cookies."

"I get cookies." I hear Nick whisper.

I smile.

I walk away from them and closer towards Katniss and Peeta.

"You didn't have to make him cookies Peeta." I say with a smile.

"I like making desserts. I don't get to do it often because Katniss isn't fond of sweets." Peeta says. Katniss sighs and rolls her eyes.

"Plus he'll always be the 'bakers boy'." Finnick teases and Peeta rolls his eyes.

"Hi Katniss." I say as Finnick and Peeta have some childlike jabs at each other.

"Hi Annie. I hear from my Mom you're doing well."

"I am." I smile and rub my stomach.

"Is it a boy or girl?" Katniss asks.

"We don't know yet. I didn't want to know this time." I say and she nods. She is looking around the house and heads towards the living room.

"You looking for something?" I ask confused.

"You painted." She says. It isn't a question besides, it is rather obvious. Our living room used to be red but now it is a dark green.

"Yes we did paint the living room a different color. The red color started to deepen from the years. It started to look more like the color of blood." I say.

Katniss nods she doesn't need me to explain further.

"I like the green better." She smiles. I know green is her favorite color.

I hear a clang from the kitchen and we both turn towards it. Peeta and Finnick are now talking with Nick who is munching on one of the cookies Peeta brought.

"He looks exactly like Finnick." Katniss says.

"That's what they all say." I say with a smile. "But in baby pictures of Finnick Nick doesn't look so similar." I say.

"Really?" Katniss says.

"Really." I say.

"Interesting." She says as we head back into the kitchen.

"Mommy, Peeter-"

"Peeta." I correct.

"Made really good cookies." He says.

"Did you tell him thank you?" I say.

Nick nods.

"Good." I say and kiss his cheek as he takes another bite from the fish shaped cookie

We all catch up. Katniss wants to see the backyard where Finnick cleans and guts the fish. Maybe it is because she likes hunting or maybe they just want to talk by themselves.

It's just Peeta and myself downstairs. Nick went upstairs to play. I think he was just sleepy.

"Do you want a girl or boy?" Peeta asks me. Looking at my stomach. You would think I would be tired of this question by now but, I'm not. It just brings a smile to my face.

"Finnick wants a little girl. He hasn't said it but, I know he does." I say.

"What makes you say that?" He asks with a smile.

"So Finnick can spoil and treat our little girl like a princess." I say.

"I can see him doing that easily." Peeta says. "What about you? Girl or boy."

"I don't really care." I say and rub my belly. "I just get one more person I can love."

"That's true." Peeta says. "Katniss and I came here to tell her Mother that we are getting married." Peeta says which catches me off guard.

"Why are you tell me this first then?" I ask confused.

"We were going to tell you before anyways. Katniss is probably talking to Finnick about it right now."

I nod.

"Congratulations." I smile.

"Thanks. I'm actually a little surprised myself."

"Why?" I ask confused.

"Katniss never really wanted to get married, to anyone, same with children. She said yes to me though even though things are well… you know." He says and I nod. I do know.

"I never wanted kids either, with the Hunger Games looming in the air. But things are different now." I say and he nods.

"Things are different." He smiles. "I don't think the wedding will be over the top but we want you and Finnick there, if you can make it." He looks at my stomach. "It will be soon, you two might be busy."

I smile.

"We might. Having a little baby to take care of can be a handful."

I hear the door open and see Finnick and Katniss.

"Peeta, we should go. I told my Mom we would see her at four." She says and Peeta nods.

"It was nice seeing you both." Finnick says.

Katniss nods.

"Maybe we'll see you in 12 soon." Katniss says and smiles. "Peeta and I are getting married." She says. She says it more like a fact. She doesn't sound like the little school girl I did. However, she might be screaming like a little girl on the inside.

"We wouldn't want to miss that." Finnick says with a smile.

I rub my stomach.

"Once we have more details we'll call." Katniss says.

"It was nice seeing you." I say. We give out hugs and then they leave to go see Mrs. Everdeen.

I sit back down on the couch.

"You okay?" He asks.

I nod.

"My back just hurts." I say as he sits next to me. I lean my head on his shoulder. "It feels like there isn't enough room in there anymore." I mutter.

He kiss my forehead.

"We're gonna have a baby soon." He says excited.

"I know." I whisper and feel a lump form in my throat.

"All those cute new onesies we have on a cute new baby."

"Yeah." I say softly.

"You okay?" Finnick asks.

"I just love you and I'm a little nervous." I whisper.

"About having the baby?" He asks and I nod. "It won't be like last time Annie." He says.

"Why because it's the second?" I say.

"No." He says and I look up at him. "Because I'll be there." He kisses the top of my head.

I feel a kick in my stomach.

"Do you think we should talk about names?" I say.

"Let's see if it's a boy or girl first. No need in disagreeing if it's not one." Finnick says.

I nod.

"I would win the argument you know that, right?" I smile.

"You would cave after awhile." He kisses the top of my head. "I can be very persuasive."

"And annoying." I say.

"Well that too." He says.

"What do you think of Katniss and Peeta getting married?" I ask.

"I'm happy for them. They deserve it.

I just hope they are as happy as we are."

I smile.

"I'm sure they are." I smile and kiss him.


	238. Chapter 238

**Chapter 238**

"Mmmh." I moan and feel wetness between my legs.

_Did I pee my pants?_ I think to myself.

It isn't hard to assume. I peed my pants a couple days ago while Finnick and I were making dinner. The baby kicked my bladder and pee just flowed out. I'm going to give birth soon. My due date is tomorrow so it could happen any time now.

I feel more liquid leak from me and get up to use the bathroom.

After I get past the sleep haze I realize that I'm not peeing my pants. My water has broken and I'm going into labor.

I hurry back into the bedroom.

"Finnick." I say and walk back into the bedroom. "Finnick." I mumble. "Finnick." I say and shake his shoulder.

He just groans and rolls over.

"Finnick." I say and throw my pillow at him.

Finnick gasps and sits up alert.

"Annie?" He asks confused and rubs his eyes.

"I need to go to the hospital." I say.

"Baby coming?" He asks more alert.

"I think so." I say and rub my stomach. "I know my water broke and I think I was having early contractions today." I say and put my hand on my face.

"Are you okay?" He asks worried.

"I don't feel good." I say and feel woozy.

Finnick rushes out of bed and places me in a chair.

"Sit down." He says and kisses my forehead."I'm going to call your Mom so she can take care of Nick." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Finnick." I say and reach out for him but he has already left the room. I put my hands on my forehead. "Finnick!" I shout this time.

"What's wrong?" Finnick asks racing into the room.

I don't say anything I just end up throwing up. Thankfully most of it got on the floor.

"Here." Finnick says and gets a tissue to wipe off my face. He kisses the top of my head. "Just sit and relax." He says and kisses my cheek.

I watch Finnick clean up my throw up and he gives me new clothes.

"Can you get dressed by yourself?" Finnick asks. He sounds surprisingly calm then again he could be acting.

I nod and do.

I hear a knock on the door and know it is my Mom. Who else would be knocking on our door at four in the morning.

"That's your Mom." He says and takes the overnight bag and helps me downstairs.

Finnick opens the door and I see her. She is still in her pajamas and her hair is in a messy bun. She looks tired but she is smiling.

"Oh Annie." She says happily and hugs me.

"Hi Mom." I say.

"My baby is having another baby." She smiles and kisses my cheek. I smile back.

"Thanks for coming so quickly Jenna." Finnick says.

"It's nothing Finnick." She smiles at him. "You're okay sweets." She says and kisses my cheek. I guess she can tell I'm nervous.

"I know." I say and hug her again.

Finnick and I tell her where everything is that Nick would need. She has watched him before so she knows where almost everything is but I want to make sure. It wouldn't be the ideal time to call and ask a question.

"When Nicky wakes up tell him next time he sees us he'll get to meet his brother or sister." I say and she smiles.

"Okay." She says.

"And tell him we love him." Finnick adds.

"Of course." She says.

* * *

"Finnick." I say. I'm sweaty and breathless but despite this I am shivering.

"I'm right here." Finnick says and brings my hand to his lips.

I smile.

We have been here for almost eleven hours. Finnick has been wonderful and upbeat the whole time, but I can tell from his eyes he is worried.

"Finnick." I say.

"What? What can I get you? What can I do? Do you need something?"

I smile.

"Rub my back." I say and sit up.

"Does that feel good?" He asks as he rubs my lower back.

I nod.

"Your hands are cold." I say softly.

"I know. I'm sorry." He says.

"No it feels good." I say.

He kisses my shoulder.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love youuu." I groan and lean back onto the bed

"You okay?" He asks and pats my head.

"I will be. Just keep telling me it's almost over."

Finnick smiles.

"It's almost over." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Not very convincing." I say with a smile.

He kisses my cheek.

"Sorry." He says over dramatically. "But we are gonna have a cute little baby soon." He says.

"Cute little baby." I smile and put my hand on my stomach. I look back up at Finnick. "Is this everything you dreamed it would be?" I ask and he smiles.

He kisses my forehead.

"I like being here for you. I don't like seeing you in pain but, I like that I can be here to make you feel better."

"I like that too. That was my Mom's job last time." I whisper.

"Do I pale in comparison?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"You're better. Just don't faint on me." I say and he smiles.

"I'm a manly man. Manly men don't faint." He says and I roll my eyes.

"Okay." I say.

* * *

"You need to push harder Annie." The doctor says like it's easy or something. I wonder if male doctors know how much it hurts.

I make a loud groaning noise, more of a moan like scream.

"You're doing great Annie." I hear Finnick whisper and kiss the top of my head. His vows of encouragement have been very helpful. This one in specific because it is almost over.

I groan and start to feel a stinging sensation then, I hear small cries fill the room.

"It's a girl!" I hear someone say.

"A girl." I say.

"A girl." Finnick repeats.

I only get a glimpse of her because I need to deliver the placenta.

"Finnick?" I say after. I feel hazy and everything around me seems to go away.

"What?" He asks and pats my head.

"Is she okay?" I ask.

He nods

"She's beautiful." Finnick says and kisses the top of my head.

"Here you go Mommy." One of the nurses say and gives me my daughter. Once she is in my arms she reaches her small hand up at me.

"Happy birthday." I say and kiss the top of her small head. "I love you so much." I say and feel tears form in my eyes.

I look up at Finnick who is smiling.

"Look what we did." I say and feel Finnick kiss the top of my sweaty head.

"I know." He says with a smile.

"One minute she was here and now." I kiss the top of her head. "She's so beautiful." I say.

"Just like Mommy." Finnick says and I smile.

They shortly take her away from me to run some tests.

"Finnick." I whimper and reach my hand out.

"She's okay." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

I nod.

"You should try to sleep."

"Finnick-"

"I know you're tired." He says.

I nod. I know I am so I don't protest, much.

* * *

I wake up and see Finnick in a chair across from me. He is also dozing off. I notice he has a bandaid on his arm.

"Hello Annie." A nurse says as they come into the room.

"Hi, can I see my daughter?" I ask.

"Yes." She says. The nurses here are much more friendly then the ones in thirteen.

"Also do you know why my husband has a bandaid?" I ask. She probably doesn't know but, it will make me feel better if I ask.

"From the blood that was taken."

"Why did you take his blood?" I ask confused and worried.

"He insisted." I look at her confused. "Because he was attacked from a lizard mutt years ago and he stated some of the venom is still in his blood stream. He's afraid it might be genetic or something."

"We talked about this with the doctors. They said there was very little venom still left in Finnick's blood stream. They said it wouldn't effect our child." I say.

"Your husband wanted to double check." She says.

"There's nothing wrong with our daughter, is there?" I ask worried.

"They're still checking blood work but it is very unlikely."

"I told him." I mumble.

"Even if it was the doctors probably wouldn't see it. Only Capitol doctors who studied mutts can detect unnatural genetic activity. Unfortunately we have no Capitol doctors here but, I'm sure your daughter is fine."

"I'm sure she is too." I say and the nurse nods.

"Do you have a name for her?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"We wanted to be surprised." I say.

She nods.

"We'll just keep her baby girl Odair for now." She says. "I'll go get her for you."

"Thank you." I say and she leaves.

I sigh and look at Finnick.

Baby girl Odair is brought into the room and placed in my arms.

I smile and she mirrors it.

"Hi sweetie." I say and hold her close. "You're so beautiful." I say and kiss her.

I look down at her and try to think of some names. Amelia comes to my mind almost instantly. My Grandmother said if I ever had a daughter she wanted her to be named Amelia, after herself. She said this to me more than once but, it started when she found out she was terminally ill.

Marci also comes to mind after Finnick's sister. She always wanted to see Finnick and I married. She always wanted to see us live happily ever after.

I smile.

"What should we call you?" I say.

"Baby girl Odair does have a nice ring to it." I hear Finnick say from the corner.

"Daddy's awake." I say with a smile.

Finnick comes over and holds her.

"Finnick." I say.

"Yeah." He says. "She's so precious." Finnick says and I smile.

"She's not infected with anything Finnick, she's fine." I say.

"Did the nurses tell you that?" He asks.

"They don't need to. Look at her." I say and smile. "She's fine." I kiss Finnick's cheek.

"I hope so." He says.

"Please don't be so worried." I say.

"I'm her Daddy that's my job."

"Well for this specific issue I don't think you need to worry." I say

"Maybe you're right." He says and kisses my cheek.

"So ready to talk names?" I ask changing the subject.

"Yeah." He smiles.

"I was thinking while you were sleeping." I say.

"Okay let me hear." He says.

"Amelia, after my grandmother, before she died she mentioned she would want a grandchild named after her." Finnick nods. "Marci-"

"After my sister." Finnick says with a smile.

"She always wanted us to be married and happy." I say and Finnick nods. "That's all I've come up with." I say.

"Okay good, because I have some thoughts."

"Okay. I thought of Marci's name too, but I also thought about my Mother's name."

"Felicity." I say.

Finnick nods.

"The green color of her eyes reminded me of my Mother's." He says.

"Anything else?" I ask.

"I was thinking Margret too."

"After Mags." I say and he nods.

"But I was thinking Mags could just be the middle name." He says and I nod.

"Marci Mags Odair sounds-"

"I know a lot of M's." He says. "Amelia Mags Odair sounds nice."

"So does Felicity Mags Odair." I say and look down at her. "Naming Nick was so much easier." I say.

Finnick smiles.

"We could name her after you-"

"No." I say.

"Why?" He teases.

"Because I don't like it." I say.

"How is it different from naming our son after me."

"Because it's more fitting and Nick looks like you." I say.

"Okay." He kisses my cheek. "Maybe we should get more opinions." Finnick says.

"Maybe." I whisper and caress her face. "She's so beautiful." I say and lean my head on Finnick's shoulder.

"She has your eyes." I tell him.

"I know." He says. "I love her so much. When the nurses first handed her to me it was like when you first handed Nick to me. It was like I was hit with a lighting bolt. I was hit with love instantly." He says.

"Me too." I whisper. "I love you." I say to him.

"I love you too." He says.

"And you." I say and kiss our daughters head.

**A/N: Hello readers! I wanted to open up the story to you more and let you help pick out baby girl Odair's name. As discussed in the chapter the choices are Felicity, Marci, or Amelia. You can leave a comment or vote on the poll on my profile page! I know lots of people don't usually vote for this stuff. Maybe, I don't give enough time, or maybe people don't care either way. *shrugs* but I like hearing opinions because this is kinda your story too!**

**Thanks!**

**-Susan**


	239. Chapter 239

**Chapter 239**

"Mommy!" I hear and turn to see my Mom and Nick coming into the small hospital room.

I have been in the hospital for a day. We should be able to leave tomorrow. All three of us.

"Hi sweetie." I say and open my arms to hug him.

"Mommy your belly. It's smaller." He says surprised.

"Your baby sister used to be in there but now she's not." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Oh." He says. "So I have a sister?" He says.

"That's right." I say. He looks around. She isn't in the room, she's in the nursery.

"Where is she?" He asks confused.

"She's with Daddy. You can meet her real soon."

"Okay." He says disappointed.

"I missed you sweetie." I say and kiss the top of his head.

"I missed you too Mommy." He says and hugs me. "I love you."

"I love you too. Were you a good boy for Nana?" I ask and look at my Mom who nods.

"Yup, I was a good boy." He says happily.

"Good." I say and kiss his cheek.

I see Finnick enter the room.

"Daddy!" Nick shouts.

"Hey buddy." Finnick says and picks Nick up.

"Daddy did you know I have a sister now?" Nick says.

"I did." Finnick says and kisses him.

"I want to see her." Nick says excited.

"You will, they are going to bring her in soon." Finnick says.

"That's your little sister." I say as a nurse bring her into the room.

"She's tiny Mommy." He says when she gets closer to us. He sounds almost disappointed.

"Yes, you were this small once." I say and kiss his forehead.

"Really." He says shocked.

"Really." Finnick says.

"Can I hold her Mommy?" He asks.

I nod.

In reality Finnick will be holding but Nick will get the feeling he is.

"She's tiny Mommy." He says again.

"Yes she is but, she will be as big as you one day." Finnick smiles.

"Soon?" He asks hopeful.

"You'll have to wait." Finnick says.

He sighs.

"Are you gonna take care of your sister?" I ask and stroke his hair.

Nick nods.

"I'm gonna make sure she loves me." Nick says and I smile.

"Do you love your sister?" Finnick asks.

"Of course." He says and kisses her forehead.

I smile. Finnick gives her to my Mom. It is obvious she wants to hold her.

"She's precious." She says smiling "What's her name?" My Mom asks excited.

"Amelia Mags Odair." I say.

"It's perfect." She says.

"We thought so too." Finnick says.

"Amelia is sissys name?" Nick asks.

"That's right." I say.

"It's pretty." He whispers.

"We all think so too." My Mom says.

* * *

The rest of the time in the hospital seemed to flow by. Pearl and Tiffany both came and said she was precious as well.

Lana came too and said she looked just like me. I don't know if I agree with her but, I will take it as a complement.

When we got home Nick was excited so he could finally 'play' with his sister. However he soon realized he can't really play with her. He seems disappointed and even called her boring once. I don't really blame him because I think he thought, he would be able to play with his new sibling right away.

Since she has been taken home it has been good. Much different from 13. Finnick got to be there right away and help more often.

Although Nick complains about Amelia crying so often but other than that he seems rather excited to be a big brother.

"Annie." I hear and feel a rub on my shoulder.

"What?" I ask hazy. I was starting to fall asleep. I look down and see a sleeping Amelia in my arms.

"Let me take her and you can go to sleep." Finnick says gently and kisses my cheek.

"Okay." I say reluctantly.

Finnick takes her and I start to head upstairs but turn back.

"She's fine Annie." Finnick says reassuringly.

"I know. I just miss her already."

Finnick smiles.

"She's fine Annie." He says.

"I know." I say.

"Have a nice nap." Finnick says.

I nod and head back upstairs.

I lie down on the bed and can feel my eyelids getting heavy already.

I start to think of Nick and Amelia and Finnick. I love them all so much. I never thought I could love so much.

I start to drift off to sleep and can't help thinking how lucky I am.

**A/N: Thanks to the people who voted for the name! Also for people who gave suggestions. There will be only one more chapter, the epilogue, so get ready for that. Thanks for reading.**

**-Susan**


	240. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Mommy." I hear my three year old daughter say.

"What is it sweetie?" I ask as I'm braiding her hair. Amelia has thick curly brown hair which is almost untamable. Her hair is the color of mine but is as thick as Finnick's.

"Mommy, where are big brother and Daddy?" She asks with her bright green eyes looking up at me.

"They went fishing." I kiss her cheek.

"Why?" She asks innocently.

"So we can get fish to eat for dinner." I say.

"Oh." She says and stands up

"Wait I need to finish." I say as I tie off her braid.

"Mama why can't I go with Nicky and Daddy?" She asks with doe eyes.

"Because you get to stay with Mama." I say and kiss her cheek. The truth is I don't want her to go on the boat yet.

"Can you help me color then Mama?" She asks with a smile.

"Yes I can help you color pretty girl." I say and kiss her cheek causing her to laugh. I watch her draw. She draws or scribbles many picture. I add in some pink stars which seem to amuse her greatly.

We sit here and color until the front door opens.

"Daddy!" Amelia shouts and rushes towards the door. She steps on my leg in the progress.

Finnick picks her up with little effort and she giggles as he keeps kissing her cheek.

"Daddy, Mama and I colored all day for you and big brother." She says excitedly

"Really?!" Finnick says happily.

"Yes." She nods. "Let me show you." She says happily.

He sets her down and she runs to the table grabbing the colorful pieces of paper.

"Did you two catch anything good?" I ask looking at Nick.

"Yeah Mommy, Daddy helped me." Nick smiles. Who is much taller now that he is eight.

"That's good." I say with a smile.

I watch Finnick looking at Amelia's drawings while I ask what Nick and Finnick did on the boat. Nick is excited at how much better he is at catching fish. Nick is also having fun learning how to tie all different knots.

"Nicky come here!" I hear Amelia shout to her brother. I know she wants to show him her drawings too.

Finnick comes back towards me and smiles.

"So have fun?" He asks and I nod.

I look at Nick and Amelia and smile by how excited Amelia is to show her big brother brother something.

I smile and think about how everything has changed. How everything is different and better.

I don't worry about my children having to face reaping day. I still worry about Nick and Amelia but in a normal motherly way.

However sometimes my mind drifts and I wonder, I wonder if everything I have is because of the Hunger Games. Most of the time I consider it to be yes because I would never have married Finnick. I wouldn't even know him. I would've thought he was an ass until I saw his 'confession' video.

If the war did end and Panem was freed I could've married, had children. But it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be Amelia or Nick and it wouldn't be Finnick.

As much as I hate to think, or even admit it, the Hunger Games gave me Finnick, which gave me an abundance amount of happiness. Possibly a lifetime amount.

But that doesn't change anything that has happened in the past. It doesn't change all the pain and suffering I've had to endure, that Panem as a country had to endure, but we were all able to walk away from it. We were all able to move on. We were all strong enough to move on.

I look towards Finnick and kiss his cheek.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He whispers back.

"I know." I whisper.

"I know you know." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

I smile.

Happiness can be a hard thing to describe but it's easy to feel. I know I'm feeling it now. With the sunny day, bright blue sky, ocean, and gleaming smiles on our children's faces I know this is happiness. It's the type of happiness that will never go away and I never want it to.

**The End.**

**A/N: Well everybody that's it. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the ending. If you're interested, I have more stories about Finnick and Annie that you can check out. Thank you to all the, reviewers, followers, and favorites. I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing.**

**-Susan**


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